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(Mother Nature Network)   If you're not sure if you're ready for the commitment of raising your own urban backyard chickens, you could always rent some trial chickens first. "A lot of people are scared to get into chickens"   (mnn.com) divider line 41
    More: Interesting, backyard chickens, backyards  
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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-07 02:52:15 AM
Chicken sh*t stinks to high heaven, and if I have to listen to your rooster crowing fifteen times in a row at three o'clock in the morning, there will be gunplay.
 
2013-09-07 08:37:40 AM
 
2013-09-07 09:20:37 AM
You don't need to have a rooster to have chickens. I have six at home. They require little to no maintenance, put themselves to bed, and provide delicious eggs daily. They're the perfect animal, aside from a certain element of stupidity.
 
2013-09-07 09:50:07 AM
Stopped reading after fowl fanciers from Freeport.

I certainly don't want to know what the author does with chickens.
 
2013-09-07 09:53:10 AM
I wish I had a hen and a rooster, that way I could have a cock and pullet.
 
2013-09-07 09:53:13 AM
Use lube, that'll get you right into them.
 
2013-09-07 09:55:51 AM

Pocket Ninja: You don't need to have a rooster to have chickens. I have six at home. They require little to no maintenance, put themselves to bed, and provide delicious eggs daily. They're the perfect animal, aside from a certain element of stupidity.


Exactly. My great grandmother would order out (somehow) and receive a few dozen chicks on the farm. They were all female, would provide eggs eventually, and in a few weeks would become delicious dinner for my dad and his siblings. There was a veritable chicken genocide on that Kansas farm.
 
2013-09-07 09:57:53 AM

Pocket Ninja: You don't need to have a rooster to have chickens. I have six at home. They require little to no maintenance, put themselves to bed, and provide delicious eggs daily. They're the perfect animal, aside from a certain element of stupidity.


This. We have 2, and they are great. They make a lot of poop, which is good for our garden.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-09-07 09:59:08 AM
There's always an easy way out with chickens. Leave the henhouse door open, or a gap under the fence, and raccoons and coyotes will dispose of them for you.

Some of my mothers' chickens were eaten by an animal that burrowed under the buried fence.
 
2013-09-07 09:59:43 AM
si0.twimg.com

License and registration... CHICKEN FARKER!!!
 
2013-09-07 10:00:55 AM
This as a great idea!
and the article is pretty clear why...
"there's currently an urban chicken abandonment epidemic sweeping our poultry-loving nation as more and more "stupid foodies" and "hipster farmers" are bidding adieu to their broods after discovering that keeping chickens is, well hard work..."

Any animal is a commitment kids.  Does your vet know anything about chickens? If not, do you where there is one that does? Never mind winter shelter, and do you have the stones to kill & eat that chicken when it stops laying, or are prepared to care for it for YEARS after.  And about a dozen other things...
Understand what you are getting into, before you get into it hipster farmer.
 
2013-09-07 10:06:53 AM
I was contemplating getting a couple chickens for a while. Pretty sure my dog would want to eat them, though, so probably renting a chicken wouldn't really help.
 
2013-09-07 10:07:02 AM

Phaeon: Pocket Ninja: You don't need to have a rooster to have chickens. I have six at home. They require little to no maintenance, put themselves to bed, and provide delicious eggs daily. They're the perfect animal, aside from a certain element of stupidity.

Exactly. My great grandmother would order out (somehow) and receive a few dozen chicks on the farm. They were all female, would provide eggs eventually, and in a few weeks would become delicious dinner for my dad and his siblings. There was a veritable chicken genocide on that Kansas farm.


My recommendation for ordering chicks: Mcmurrayhatchery.com
 
2013-09-07 10:12:13 AM

Fark Me To Tears: Chicken sh*t stinks to high heaven, and if I have to listen to your rooster crowing fifteen times in a row at three o'clock in the morning, there will be gunplay.


If you're raising chickens in close proximity to neighbors, you don't have roosters.  I say "don't" instead of "shouldn't" because the cops will in fact confiscate them for crowing, fine you for noise violation, and have animal control kill them on the third complaint if not earlier.

As for the smell, that's why you keep birds (chickens, doves, messenger pigeons, whatever) in closed housing where possible, and also in a fenced-off section of yard or roof.

If you follow basic common sense, chickens are actually about as easy to manage as farm animals get.  They generally stay in the place you put them, can't break the fencing, and don't really require any active effort on your part exercise-wise.

As far as renting animals... eh, seems legit enough.  You just want the eggs, when you don't want the eggs anymore or you can't afford the animals' upkeep pass 'em to someone else instead of wasting perfectly good hens.  We used to do the same kind of thing with goat herds where I grew up (same deal, fence them into a wooded area and they take care of themselves... with the return on investment being clearing the brush for you instead of providing eggs).

//"Common sense" in this case involves having some idea of how to feed and clean after them, checking with your landlord and lease for permission, and knowing the local statutes and state laws regarding raising animals vs. breeding, slaughtering, selling or gifting animal products, etc.  Not rocket science but more than half an hour on Google and straight to the farmer's market.
 
2013-09-07 10:14:26 AM
I will never live down having pictures of my cock on facebook.
 
2013-09-07 10:16:06 AM

vernonFL: I wish I had a hen and a rooster, that way I could have a cock and pullet.


Been waiting long to use that?

/now off to get a rag and wipe off the spewn coffee
 
2013-09-07 10:17:11 AM

sno man: Any animal is a commitment kids.  Does your vet know anything about chickens? If not, do you where there is one that does? Never mind winter shelter, and do you have the stones to kill & eat that chicken when it stops laying, or are prepared to care for it for YEARS after.  And about a dozen other things...
Understand what you are getting into, before you get into it hipster farmer.


After you've smelt and cleaned up enough chicken shiat over a few weeks, you will not only be ready and willing to kill some but will happily experiment with different knives, methods, etc. like a professional torturer in his happy place.
 
2013-09-07 10:25:09 AM
I took care of my aunts chickens when I was a kid. There was a lot of bonding.
 
2013-09-07 10:31:40 AM
Do they have large talons?
 
2013-09-07 10:34:07 AM

shanrick: Do they have large talons?


They fight like a chicken.
 
2013-09-07 10:35:01 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com

Had no trouble getting into chickens.
 
2013-09-07 10:39:10 AM
We had laying hens for about a decade. You need to build them a fortress. We never ate ours - once they are done laying they are generally too tough to really be tasty. After trying many breeds my favorite is the black austrolorpe

citygirlinthecountry.ca

What no one ever talks about is the intense social climate of the chicken coop. Its full of drama. If there is no rooster then there is a constant battle of for supremacy. I had one little auracana called Snowy who became queen of the coop and retained her crown for over 6 years. That was a good peaceful time in the coop. She ruled with an iron beak and she wouldnt tolerate bullying.

I learned a lot about gaming guilds from owning chickens.

/tank chickens dont live long
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-09-07 10:39:49 AM
bbsimg.ngfiles.com
 
2013-09-07 10:47:16 AM

quickdraw: We had laying hens for about a decade. You need to build them a fortress. We never ate ours - once they are done laying they are generally too tough to really be tasty. After trying many breeds my favorite is the black austrolorpe

[citygirlinthecountry.ca image 850x637]

What no one ever talks about is the intense social climate of the chicken coop. Its full of drama. If there is no rooster then there is a constant battle of for supremacy. I had one little auracana called Snowy who became queen of the coop and retained her crown for over 6 years. That was a good peaceful time in the coop. She ruled with an iron beak and she wouldnt tolerate bullying.

I learned a lot about gaming guilds from owning chickens.

/tank chickens dont live long


Coq au Vin FTW
 
2013-09-07 10:52:32 AM
The folks had a few acres when I was a kid and we kept about a dozen chickens. They don't really take that much care. They would lay for a few years and then we would eat them. Never thought of them as pets. Then when I was about 10 I decided to hatch my own. Built a little box lined with foil on the wall lamp in my bedroom. Put 6 eggs in there and tried to remember to turn them twice a day. Four eggs didn't do anything, one started to hatch, but died. That left me with one chicken I didn't kill. I put her in a box by the bed to feed and water - and clean up the mess, (chickens don't make good house pets). Mom gave me a towel to put her on when we watched tv or did homework; generally just hang out.

Once she started getting big I put her out in the coop with the other chickens. Chickens don't take a lot of work, since it's mostly just food, water and a little calcium - but you have to check on them daily to collect eggs and make sure they are OK. They don't let you know something is wrong like a dog or cat. The chicken I hatched would come when called and wouldn't run off. I didn't have to clip her wings because of this, so she could fly short distance. I'd call and she would fly to me and land on my arm. I'd walk around the property and she would follow, clucking and picking at the dirt while I was feeding the other animals. We had a tree house about 40 foot up a tree on a hillside. I'd carry her up and toss her off. She would glide as far as she could, then run back to the base to do it again. She could make about 4 or 5 flights - chickens don't fly well. Neither she or our dog mastered dog riding like I'd hoped.

She was a pet and I think she might be what people are considering when they get into urban chickens. None of the other chicks that were born in the coop turned out like her no matter what I tried. You have to be the first thing that a chick sees when they hatch and bond then. Otherwise they might get to know you, but there's always a little fear involved. I don't think people consider running after chickens in their backyards as fun, maybe the first couple times, but then it gets old. If you want cool chickens as pets, ask a farmer for fertilized eggs and hatch them yourself; be the first thing they see when they come out and spend a little time with them. Once they are big you can leave them in the backyard and forget about them, but they still take work. How much? I'd say more work than fish, but less than a cat.
 
2013-09-07 10:57:04 AM

Phaeon: Pocket Ninja: You don't need to have a rooster to have chickens. I have six at home. They require little to no maintenance, put themselves to bed, and provide delicious eggs daily. They're the perfect animal, aside from a certain element of stupidity.

Exactly. My great grandmother would order out (somehow) and receive a few dozen chicks on the farm. They were all female, would provide eggs eventually, and in a few weeks would become delicious dinner for my dad and his siblings. There was a veritable chicken genocide on that Kansas farm.


You can actually order newborn chicks through the mail these days.

I would love a few buff orpingtons but my husband is dead set against it.

Weep for me, for I have no chickens.
 
2013-09-07 11:02:15 AM

Chinchillazilla: I was contemplating getting a couple chickens for a while. Pretty sure my dog would want to eat them, though, so probably renting a chicken wouldn't really help.


Really depends on your dog. Sighthounds (greyhounds for example) or terriers might be a bad idea since they have a kind of impulsive prey drive (but they too can be trained). But for most other dogs if you can or already have taught your dog to 'leave it' and do some basic training (reward the dog for sitting or laying down around the chickens) you aren't going to have a problem.

We used to have 6 ducks (when I didn't live in city limits) and our Aussie was completely fine with them. She'd ignore them 99% of the time and herd them when I was herding them.
 
2013-09-07 11:11:10 AM

I have 8 girls, they all have names and distinct personalities. Leisel's my favorite, helga's the fattest. They adore leftover oatmeal, and provide me with enormous brown eggs that rarely fit in the standard egg cartons. The smell is minimal, as I adore my pretty coop and throw fresh hay down every week, shoveling out all the hay from last week. They roam the backyard 3xs a week, roughly...to keep the ticks down. The only problem is, if I am out back in the hammock reading, if they are out and about, I will get hens that want to sit with me. I turn over rocks for them so they can snack on worms and bring them crickets from the bait shop sometimes.


My friends and parents think I'm nuts, but they eagerly accept my eggs. :)

 
2013-09-07 11:19:24 AM

quickdraw: We had laying hens for about a decade. You need to build them a fortress. We never ate ours - once they are done laying they are generally too tough to really be tasty. After trying many breeds my favorite is the black austrolorpe



What no one ever talks about is the intense social climate of the chicken coop. Its full of drama. If there is no rooster then there is a constant battle of for supremacy. I had one little auracana called Snowy who became queen of the coop and retained her crown for over 6 years. That was a good peaceful time in the coop. She ruled with an iron beak and she wouldnt tolerate bullying.

I learned a lot about gaming guilds from owning chickens.

/tank chickens dont live long


We have three Black Australorps. They are the funniest, nicest, and most reliable egg laying chickens. We call them our back yard clowns.
 
2013-09-07 11:19:42 AM
files.backyardchickens.com
 
2013-09-07 11:22:05 AM
www.alternet.org
 
2013-09-07 11:22:48 AM
Say hello to bird flu, dumbasses.

You know why all the flu strains are named for cities in China and southeast Asia?  Because those idiots keep live poultry in dense, urban areas.
 
2013-09-07 11:27:54 AM

FrancoFile: Say hello to bird flu, dumbasses.

You know why all the flu strains are named for cities in China and southeast Asia?  Because those idiots keep live poultry in dense, urban areas.


They also use their streets as sewers.
 
2013-09-07 11:30:55 AM
I can see how someone could raise chickens for eggs in an urban situation... It doesn't take many hens and therefore it doesn't take much space. I'd have to question whether it's worth it after the umpteenth trip to the Southern States Co-Op for feed though.

My family had chickens when I was growing up, but they actually had a farm. Chickens were the lowest-maintenence critters we had other than maybe rabbits. In my recollection the hens were dopey but otherwise ok, but roosters...

No. Fark that. Rent a rooster for a month and you'll be over the idea of urban chickens. You did not go out in the coop wearing shorts unless you wanted Death By A Thousand Pecks. They're complete a$$holes.
 
2013-09-07 11:35:01 AM

Ficoce: FrancoFile: Say hello to bird flu, dumbasses.

You know why all the flu strains are named for cities in China and southeast Asia?  Because those idiots keep live poultry in dense, urban areas.

They also use their streets as sewers.


And spit positively everywhere.  Christ, the spitting...
 
2013-09-07 11:45:29 AM

maxheck: I can see how someone could raise chickens for eggs in an urban situation... It doesn't take many hens and therefore it doesn't take much space. I'd have to question whether it's worth it after the umpteenth trip to the Southern States Co-Op for feed though.


The year right after the economy went splat neither of us could find work. We had 6 layers and a small patch of potatoes. That was the bulk of our diet for about 6 months.  The hubby spent his time brewing beer which he drank and bartered with.
 
2013-09-07 11:48:56 AM
FrancoFile:

Say hello to bird flu, dumbasses.

You know why all the flu strains are named for cities in China and southeast Asia? Because those idiots keep live poultry in dense, urban areas.


Yeah... About that.

I can't speak for China, but I've traveled a lot in SE Asia. I also travel a lot on the Eastern Shore of MD and Lower Slower Delaware.

Trust me, we have our own flu incubators. On a huge scale.
 
2013-09-07 12:29:23 PM

maxheck: FrancoFile:

Say hello to bird flu, dumbasses.

You know why all the flu strains are named for cities in China and southeast Asia? Because those idiots keep live poultry in dense, urban areas.

Yeah... About that.

I can't speak for China, but I've traveled a lot in SE Asia. I also travel a lot on the Eastern Shore of MD and Lower Slower Delaware.

Trust me, we have our own flu incubators. On a huge scale.


Fewer opportunities for the virus to jump from bird to human, since there are only ~20 thousand people dealing with the live birds.  Not 450 million.
 
2013-09-07 01:52:24 PM
FrancoFile:

maxheck: FrancoFile:

Say hello to bird flu, dumbasses.

You know why all the flu strains are named for cities in China and southeast Asia? Because those idiots keep live poultry in dense, urban areas.

Yeah... About that.

I can't speak for China, but I've traveled a lot in SE Asia. I also travel a lot on the Eastern Shore of MD and Lower Slower Delaware.

Trust me, we have our own flu incubators. On a huge scale.

Fewer opportunities for the virus to jump from bird to human, since there are only ~20 thousand people dealing with the live birds. Not 450 million.


It takes exactly one sneezing, snotty-nosed worker to bring a human flu into a the incubator that is a million chicken farm. It takes only one human to bring the results back out again.
 
2013-09-07 02:14:06 PM
FrancoFile:

maxheck: FrancoFile:

Say hello to bird flu, dumbasses.

You know why all the flu strains are named for cities in China and southeast Asia? Because those idiots keep live poultry in dense, urban areas.

Yeah... About that.

I can't speak for China, but I've traveled a lot in SE Asia. I also travel a lot on the Eastern Shore of MD and Lower Slower Delaware.

Trust me, we have our own flu incubators. On a huge scale.

Fewer opportunities for the virus to jump from bird to human, since there are only ~20 thousand people dealing with the live birds. Not 450 million.


Another way to put it... They're playing the local lottery, we're playing Powerball.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-09-07 03:18:11 PM

rogue_L_chick: I have 8 girls, they all have names and distinct personalities. Leisel's my favorite, helga's the fattest. They adore leftover oatmeal, and provide me with enormous brown eggs that rarely fit in the standard egg cartons. The smell is minimal, as I adore my pretty coop and throw fresh hay down every week, shoveling out all the hay from last week. They roam the backyard 3xs a week, roughly...to keep the ticks down. The only problem is, if I am out back in the hammock reading, if they are out and about, I will get hens that want to sit with me. I turn over rocks for them so they can snack on worms and bring them crickets from the bait shop sometimes.
My friends and parents think I'm nuts, but they eagerly accept my eggs. :)


Go on......
webspace.ship.edu
i29.photobucket.com
 
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