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(Telegraph)   Ten most pretentious films of all time. Notice I didn't say "movies"; movies are for mouth-breathers who watch mindless action crap on their TVs, whereas I watch films in the cinema   ( divider line
    More: Obvious, random events, tracking shot, narrative structure, Shane Carruth, Terrence Malick  
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8368 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 06 Sep 2013 at 10:27 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-09-06 01:57:42 PM  
2 votes:

udhq: For me to write off a movie, out has to hint at some payoff that never comes.

Tree of life is slow and challenging, but there is substance there, even if you can't find it. It's movies like Forrest Gump and Shawshank Redemption and the entire filmography of Ron Howard that I can't stand. They pretend to be artsy, and there's just nothing there.

You can write Forrest Gump off for many reasons, but it does what it sets out to do: It tells a story. You can call it cliche, or grating, or hate that story, but saying it has no substance is dumb. Shawshank is less problematic, and a good film. I suspect you're just trolling, or that you might not understand what the fark you're talking about.
2013-09-06 01:54:49 PM  
2 votes:

GungFu: The All-Powerful Atheismo: GungFu: Not only that, it's trying to be a film with a limited script, acting, etc etc. If someone told me it was a student film that ran out of budget after a day's filming and decided to leave it after a lunch break, I would believe them.

you do realize it only had a $7000 budget?

Absolutely. That's why it's utter shiat masquerading as a film. But then, why does it matter when it's such a great film?

Primer doesn't deserve that kind of flack for one simple reason: It creates a response. I saw it, I was intrigued, and it made me think, and keep coming back to thinking about it. That's an essential aim in art, for me.

The bigger crime is not being memorable, interesting, or though provoking in any way,
2013-09-06 01:06:40 PM  
2 votes:
So,we can sum up the list by saying, "pretty much anything that's come out of France?"

Because honestly, I haven't heard of a single one of those films, and I suspect the point of the article is to humblebrag that the author  has seen them, at least enough to find them more pretentious than other films I've never heard of.

/I'm not a multiplex philistine, but not even close to being a film buff, I suppose.
2013-09-06 10:38:10 AM  
2 votes:

yequalsy: Some of that stuff should come with a potential for bleeding eyeballs warning.
I think this film came with one.

/I want you to know...
2013-09-06 03:55:53 PM  
1 vote:

Hebalo: kanesays: Primer WILL make you think. I think that's why I like it.

In my mind, that's what makes good art. You have a reaction to it, it provokes a response of some kind from you. There's movies that win awards, and are well acted, but if they don't uplift you, or make you think, or resonate with you on some level, who gives a crap? The King's Speech was a well acted, well scripted movie that was acclaimed worldwide. It didn't really say anything to me, didn't change me, or make think about it after I watched it. So for me, it's relegated to "A movie I saw once". I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

Primer, I would recommend to people, as it's provocative, and tends to have a reaction on people.

I came in here specifically to namecheck The King's Speech. Oh, the whole nation's on the verge of hideous war? Countless tens of thousands are about to die horribly, with countless more about to live for years in fear and deprivation? Well, buck up, little campers! The self-obsessed regent is getting a handle on his speech impediment! Huzzah!


That right there is completely pretentious bullshiat.

Also: District 9 was horribly pretentious as well. See folks, racial segregation is bad. In case you were unsure on this matter. District 9 told me so in thuddingly bludgeoningly obvious terms. Not to mention that that ship, were it to remain hanging there in the middle of the sky above a poor country, the most technologically advanced piece of hardware on Earth, would be extremely well guarded. Wars would have been fought for its secrets, and quite possibly would still be raging after the several years since its arrival. I mean, we fark up countries routinely over a little bit of oil in the ground. What atrocities might we be willing to inflict to obtain interstellar travel capabilities? And yet, the converted white rice hero of all the subjugated alien minorities is just able to stroll right up to the thing with his crab claw and take off, like stealing a bicycle in Central Park. What an absolute piece of shiat film that was...

//Primer IS brilliant, though...
2013-09-06 01:22:11 PM  
1 vote:
There is nothing about a Ron Howard film that I don't classify as completely commercial and mainstream. That's not an insult, all his films are very well done. But there is absolutely nothing pretentious about him.
2013-09-06 11:56:57 AM  
1 vote:
Crash. Now THAT was some pretentious bullshiat right there. The actual definition of the word. I don't even want to hate-fark that pretentious POS.
2013-09-06 11:33:06 AM  
1 vote:
I watched "The Master" last night. I'm a big fan of PT Anderson, but good lord that was a big stinky piece of bland nothing.
2013-09-06 11:10:37 AM  
1 vote:

redmid17: Not only have I not seen any of these movies, I haven't even heard of any of them.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing or neither.


And it's a good thing. Means you don't watch shiat for shiat's sake.
2013-09-06 11:06:25 AM  
1 vote:
Also, stunning that David Lynch didn't make the list.  He's pretentious out the wazoo.  Just insufferable.  Hell, the DVD of Mullholland Drive has no chapter breaks because you're supposed to watch the whole thing, beginning to end, with no breaks.  The thing would be unwatchable if not for the lesbians.
2013-09-06 10:49:32 AM  
1 vote:
It is time for the word "pretentious" to join "epic" in the Cupboard of Words We Need to Stop Using for Awhile.
2013-09-06 10:49:05 AM  
1 vote:

/I see that you have a cabbage
//Le Fromage Grande
2013-09-06 10:41:19 AM  
1 vote:
I know it's cool to hate "Tree of Life," but I liked it. I liked the dreamlike sensation it created. And "Badlands" is a favorite of mine. If you can't appreciate "Badlands," I don't even want to know you.
2013-09-06 10:30:23 AM  
1 vote:

sigdiamond2000: Generally what people mean when they say "pretentious" is "I don't get it."

That's not fair. They may mean, "Whar's the splosions?"
2013-09-06 10:21:40 AM  
1 vote:
movies are for mouth-breathers who watch mindless action crap on their TVs

The ironic thing is that there is arguably more pretentiousness on TV right now than there is in movies.

Hell, if you want to go by the dictionary definition of the word, Lost, one of the most popular and successful shows of the last 10 years, was one of the most oppressively pretentious shows ever broadcast.

Generally what people mean when they say "pretentious" is "I don't get it." Just because you don't get it doesn't mean it was pretentious. There may be nothing to "get."

P.S. I totally agree with the author that Tree of Life was a pretentious piece of sh*t by the way.
2013-09-06 09:57:26 AM  
1 vote:
It's not a bad list if you're looking for stuff that's pretty mainstream. I mean, don't get me wrong..."films" used to be pretty edgy, but the reality is that everybody's making them now and there's really hardly any difference between a film and a movie anymore. If you're looking for true pretention you need to be searching out  pieces, and the ones I'm thinking about are extremely obscure.I pretty much doubt anybody here has heard of them. But yeah, for most people, this list works fine.
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