Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(KFOR Oklahoma City)   If you find a pantless female burglar in your kitchen eating milk and cookies, don't leave her alone in the room while you call the police   (kfor.com) divider line 52
    More: Weird, burglary, petty larcenies, milk, kitchens, eating  
•       •       •

12085 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Sep 2013 at 10:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-09-05 11:53:49 PM  
localtvwdaf.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-09-05 11:58:13 PM  
Total babe
 
2013-09-06 12:02:59 AM  
After making it through the pantry, the woman decided to go through the kitchen drawers.

Well, she'd obviously already emptied her own...
 
2013-09-06 09:08:44 AM  
www.davidbordwell.net
 
2013-09-06 09:14:46 AM  
FTFA: Police caught up to 27-year-old Michelle Stephens . . .

(Stares at feckingmorons' post)
(Reopens article)

FTFA: Police caught up to 27-year-old Michelle Stephens . . .

Huh, TFA really does say that.
 
2013-09-06 09:30:46 AM  

feckingmorons: [localtvwdaf.files.wordpress.com image 400x225]


why is it never someone you WANT to see pantless?
 
2013-09-06 09:44:43 AM  
s15.postimg.org
 
2013-09-06 10:23:12 AM  
meh.  Nobody looks good in a mugshot.  Does anyone have her FB icon yet?
 
2013-09-06 10:26:42 AM  
"Pantless burglar allegedly breaks into home, makes milk and cookies."

I'll pass on the milk, thank you.

Pantless? She wasn't panting?
 
2013-09-06 10:27:27 AM  
 
2013-09-06 10:27:28 AM  
Has anyone said meth, because Im placing bets on that
 
2013-09-06 10:28:30 AM  
Is it pantless? Pantsless? Should this be a hyphenated word?
 
2013-09-06 10:30:34 AM  
Fun fact: When he started out, Famous Amos baked most of his cookies sans pantaloons. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to dump my Famous Amos stock - which is comprised of a half a bag of Famous Amos cookies that I got from rocking the vending machine down on the shop floor. Yeah. I hrew rocks at the vending machine and all it coughed up was a bag of Famous Amos cookies.
 
2013-09-06 10:30:38 AM  
If you give a burglar a cookie...
 
2013-09-06 10:30:46 AM  
Good thing they had a gun to protect their home?
 
2013-09-06 10:33:03 AM  
she made milk how?
 
2013-09-06 10:33:20 AM  

fireclown: meh.  Nobody looks good in a mugshot.  Does anyone have her FB icon yet?


assets.nydailynews.com
Sure you can look good in a mugshot, you just have to put some effort into it!
 
2013-09-06 10:33:24 AM  
Kelly said, "She'd gotten a plate and she'd eaten off the plate."

An ill-gotten plate?
 
2013-09-06 10:34:06 AM  

lostcat: Good thing they had a gun to protect their home?


You don't know they owned a gun.  Yes, I read the same article as you, and I read what the woman said to her husband.
 
2013-09-06 10:37:34 AM  
Pantless burglar allegedly breaks into home, makes milk and cookies


She made milk?  lactating?
 
2013-09-06 10:38:49 AM  
Well not good naked, granted not horrible naked. But i would still rather have the reporter or victim naked in my kitchen.

//just saying
 
2013-09-06 10:38:59 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: Fun fact: When he started out, Famous Amos baked most of his cookies sans pantaloons. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to dump my Famous Amos stock - which is comprised of a half a bag of Famous Amos cookies that I got from rocking the vending machine down on the shop floor. Yeah. I hrew rocks at the vending machine and all it coughed up was a bag of Famous Amos cookies.


Interestingly, many well-loved brands started out in less than fully clothed situations. Hershey's Milk Chocolate was originally an experiment conceived in a Pennsylvania nudist colony, and Aunt Jemima was famously a burlesque stripper in Antebellum Savannah.Even Cap'n Crunch got his naval career started off by being shanghaied from his day job as a Seattle area male prostitute.

www.squidmobile.com
 
2013-09-06 10:40:38 AM  
What if she's eating cupcakes?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-06 10:40:53 AM  

fireclown: meh.  Nobody looks good in a mugshot.  Does anyone have her FB icon yet?


m.brobible.com
 
2013-09-06 10:41:06 AM  

ShamanGator: Well not good naked, granted not horrible naked. But i would still rather have the reporter or victim naked in my kitchen.

//just saying


There's good naked:  thumbs3.oneclickchicks.com

And there's bad naked:  www.emovingstorage.com
 
2013-09-06 10:41:46 AM  
www.demotivationalposters.org
I need more data.
 
2013-09-06 10:42:35 AM  

GoldDude: fireclown: meh.  Nobody looks good in a mugshot.  Does anyone have her FB icon yet?

[assets.nydailynews.com image 575x431]
Sure you can look good in a mugshot, you just have to put some effort into it!


Touche.  The bar has been raised.

www.faniq.com
SOmetimes just a little back arch is all it takes.

crooksandliars.com
Or failing that, have it taken on your own terms.  For my $0.02, Tom Delay had the best mugshot ever.
 
2013-09-06 10:44:17 AM  
"Suspect is pantless. Repeat, pantless."
 
2013-09-06 10:45:43 AM  
The writing in TFA made my head hurt.  Guess you don't need to finish any kind of journalism school to write copy for KFOR.com
 
2013-09-06 10:49:02 AM  

Big_Fat_Liar: lostcat: Good thing they had a gun to protect their home?

You don't know they owned a gun.  Yes, I read the same article as you, and I read what the woman said to her husband.


You're right. That's why there's a question mark at the end of the words I typed.
 
2013-09-06 11:00:46 AM  

lostcat: Big_Fat_Liar: lostcat: Good thing they had a gun to protect their home?

You don't know they owned a gun.  Yes, I read the same article as you, and I read what the woman said to her husband.

You're right. That's why there's a question mark at the end of the words I typed.


Absolutely.  That's why I said you don't know they owned a gun - because you don't know they owned a gun, which is clearly what the question mark at the end of the words you typed meant.  Obviously.  After that, I pointed out I read the article because I did read the article and that is the reason I stated such.
 
2013-09-06 11:04:38 AM  

Wellon Dowd: What if she's eating cupcakes?


You leave tripson and her god-tier ass out of this.
 
2013-09-06 11:06:05 AM  
Kelly said
Kelly said
Kelly said
Kelly said
Kelly said
Kelly said
 
2013-09-06 11:09:36 AM  
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-09-06 11:09:36 AM  

Wellon Dowd: What if she's eating cupcakes?

[i.imgur.com image 850x737]


I don't understand. I don't see any cupcakes
 
2013-09-06 11:30:36 AM  
Dad sure can sleep. I want that kind of sound sleep. If my wife gets up to have a cookie, I'm wide awake, never mind all that other racket.
 
2013-09-06 11:36:18 AM  

SuperChuck: Wellon Dowd: What if she's eating cupcakes?

[i.imgur.com image 850x737]

I don't understand. I don't see any cupcakes


Yeah, neither do I.
 
2013-09-06 11:37:24 AM  

Kaiser Chieftess: Is it pantless? Pantsless? Should this be a hyphenated word?


In this case I would say "depanted". She had up until recently been wearing pants, and her separation from her pants seems to have been unintentional and transitory.
 
2013-09-06 11:48:12 AM  
The story was amusing right up until the "honey get your gun" part. Really lady, there is a naked women in your house eating milk and cookies and you feel so threatened you needed to get a man AND a gun???!

/another example of why women shouldn't have the right to vote.
 
2013-09-06 11:50:14 AM  

Wellon Dowd: What if she's eating cupcakes?

[i.imgur.com image 850x737]


comstat.memecdn.com
 
2013-09-06 12:03:15 PM  

Wellon Dowd: What if she's eating cupcakes?

[i.imgur.com image 850x737]


i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-06 12:19:26 PM  

worlddan: The story was amusing right up until the "honey get your gun" part. Really lady, there is a naked women in your house eating milk and cookies and you feel so threatened you needed to get a man AND a gun???!

/another example of why women shouldn't have the right to vote.


So you would have no problem or worries about waking up and finding a stranger in your house?

Call me paranoid, but if I wake up and find somebody I don't know, rummaging through my kitchen, I don't care if they're male, female, clothed, naked, in a wheelchair or even half-dead, I'm at least going to have a gun handy.
 
2013-09-06 12:24:52 PM  
www.drugestores.com
 
2013-09-06 12:43:33 PM  
She said, "Her pants were right outside the window.  I guess she couldn't get up that high to get in to get the cookies."

Maybe I haven't cleared up the cobwebs in my head yet, but how does her pants being outside the window have anything to with the window being too high? I've climbed a lot of things in my life and I've never lost my pants in the process. Or did she take them off so she could stand on them to get an inch higher? Or maybe she used them as a rope?

I'm having a hard time understanding how they come to the conclusion of "Her pants were off. Must've been because the window was too high."
 
2013-09-06 12:48:34 PM  

BobNesta420: She said, "Her pants were right outside the window.  I guess she couldn't get up that high to get in to get the cookies."

Maybe I haven't cleared up the cobwebs in my head yet, but how does her pants being outside the window have anything to with the window being too high? I've climbed a lot of things in my life and I've never lost my pants in the process. Or did she take them off so she could stand on them to get an inch higher? Or maybe she used them as a rope?

I'm having a hard time understanding how they come to the conclusion of "Her pants were off. Must've been because the window was too high."


She needed to shed the extra weight to make the climb?
 
2013-09-06 12:49:09 PM  
If I found a suspicious woman snacking in my kitchen, getting a gun is way back on my list.
 
2013-09-06 01:40:53 PM  

Wellon Dowd: What if she's eating cupcakes?


I'd give her a photobomb, if you know what I mean
/I know you do...
 
2013-09-06 01:44:22 PM  
www.ratemymotivational.com
 
2013-09-06 02:04:54 PM  

Coconice: If I found a suspicious woman snacking in my kitchen, getting a gun is way back on my list.


As with most guys I am too however in this case the 'victim' is a woman. I think most women would go get their husbands if they find some stranger sitting on their kitchen table
 
2013-09-06 02:56:50 PM  
Rose believed Charlie Harper had a sister.

Ro
 
Displayed 50 of 52 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report