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(Gawker)   Even your encrypted communications are being read by the NSA   (gawker.com) divider line 20
    More: Followup, NSA, online banking, private networks  
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6660 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Sep 2013 at 8:44 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-09-05 08:58:31 PM
7 votes:
I can't realky complain - my encryption only ever claimed to be 'pretty good'
2013-09-05 08:53:53 PM
7 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-09-05 09:07:52 PM
3 votes:

Ivo Shandor: Your Average Witty Fark User: NO ONE IS READING YOUR FARKING EMAIL


[i.imgur.com image 380x380]
Whether it's the NSA or your local cheeto-stained sysadmin, someone is reading your email.


I'm actually far more worried about my local cheeto-stained sysadmin. The NSA is much less likely to stalk me in a furry suit and a cardboard sword named "Lemonslayer".
2013-09-05 08:03:43 PM
3 votes:

Kit Fister: Time to go with the smoke signals and carrier pigeon.


Until the NRA hires Indians with shotguns.
2013-09-05 11:16:05 PM
2 votes:

MemeSlave: [i2.kym-cdn.com image 758x600]


i.imgur.com
And keep those hooves on the keyboard, not in your pants, citizen!
2013-09-05 10:34:01 PM
2 votes:
And now the Internet has brought me porn that features a bunch of chubby, sweaty, middle-aged guys gang-banging the fourth amendment. Awesome.
2013-09-06 02:48:23 PM
1 votes:

MythDragon: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: I think I get what you're saying, but anything that you can run in reverse and get the original message is breakable. A good encryption is like a meat-grinder. If you run it backwards, you don't get your cow back, you just get finer ground hamburger.

I thought a good encryption was like sticking your dick in a pickle slicer.

She gets fired too.

/Should have used that for the bad analogy thread.


2048-bit Machine:

i39.tinypic.com
2013-09-06 12:53:08 PM
1 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: I think I get what you're saying, but anything that you can run in reverse and get the original message is breakable. A good encryption is like a meat-grinder. If you run it backwards, you don't get your cow back, you just get finer ground hamburger.


I thought a good encryption was like sticking your dick in a pickle slicer.

She gets fired too.

/Should have used that for the bad analogy thread.
2013-09-06 02:19:44 AM
1 votes:

bunner: Was the obvious tag out behind the dumpster getting slapped around with a rubber hose until it pledged loyalty to the fourth reich?


[gallops up with a loud burble and headbonks bunner]

Pardon the foolishness, bunner, but I missed you.
2013-09-05 11:02:24 PM
1 votes:
i2.kym-cdn.com
2013-09-05 09:35:42 PM
1 votes:

edmo: Simple rule: if you put it out there somebody can see it.


Like nude teen selfies, got it.

What?
2013-09-05 09:23:38 PM
1 votes:

dittybopper: Well, not *MINE*.  Not when I use these:



Manually generated and used one time pads.

/Keep your plaintext and keys off of electronic devices.
//Pencil and paper FTW.


But the duplication and distribution are the big weaknesses. Great for single important messages, labourous for day to day chatter.
2013-09-05 09:20:08 PM
1 votes:

TheOnion: Until someone figures out how to quickly factor large prime numbers, modern public key encryption is effectively unbreakable.  It's possible that the NSA has that kind of technology, but if they are withholding it they are holding back an incredibly important advancement in both mathematics and humanity.  Which is probably the kind of thing they'd do


farm4.staticflickr.com

Dr. Gunther Janek unavailable for comment. . .

/Too Many Secrets
2013-09-05 09:16:20 PM
1 votes:

GRCooper: Smeggy Smurf: StopLurkListen: At first I *snip*

Jesus farking christ goddamnit this is supposed to be a safe for work site.  Good god man I'll never get that out of my mind.  Holy shiat that was horrific and I've seen some shiat.

Yeah. I didn't even know hemaphrodite manatees existed


What are you guys talking about? it's just a schooner.
2013-09-05 09:00:26 PM
1 votes:
I think the NSA is doing a terrific job.  Keep up the good work, guys, nothing to see here.

kthxbye
2013-09-05 08:58:22 PM
1 votes:
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2013-09-05 08:58:20 PM
1 votes:
The Freemasons know how to keep the NSA from reading stuff.  It's one of our few secrets.
2013-09-05 08:55:13 PM
1 votes:

dittybopper: Well, not *MINE*.  Not when I use these:

[img.fark.net image 320x240]

Manually generated and used one time pads.

/Keep your plaintext and keys off of electronic devices.
//Pencil and paper flashpaper FTW.


kicked up that security for ya
2013-09-05 08:49:12 PM
1 votes:
So, I should just bcc them and try and get a tax rebate?
2013-09-05 08:23:46 PM
1 votes:

ecmoRandomNumbers: NSA. Why the hell is android auto-correcting that to NRA?


Why do you think that is? No one talks about the NBA on the internet without the NHL interfering through autocorrect...
 
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