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(IndyStar)   Today's grammar lesson is about starting sentences with the phrase, 'May I please...' For instance, "May I please have an ice pack to bring down the swelling where you punched me in the face for having bad grammar?"   (indystar.com) divider line 47
    More: Asinine, bad grammar, Henry County, phrases, lessons  
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3091 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Sep 2013 at 1:20 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-05 01:22:17 PM
How else are they going to learn? Handy's under the table?
 
2013-09-05 01:22:51 PM
3 year olds dude.
 
2013-09-05 01:23:00 PM
Would you kindly give me a handy?
 
2013-09-05 01:23:22 PM
Oh, read the article and now i feel ashamed and dirty.
 
2013-09-05 01:24:18 PM
Fark handle?
 
2013-09-05 01:26:31 PM
Smacking someone in the piehole for bad grammar is a victimless crime.
 
2013-09-05 01:26:44 PM
I'd like to set that douche-bag's testicles on fire.
 
2013-09-05 01:27:06 PM
When did this kind of thing get downgraded from a capital offense?
 
2013-09-05 01:27:59 PM
Yes you may.
 
2013-09-05 01:28:02 PM
Funny how he is concerned about manners but thinks nothing of the horror of smacking the shiat out of a 3 year old.
I hope he gets it good in prison.
 
2013-09-05 01:28:10 PM
All joking aside, this guy sounds like an objectively bad person.
 
2013-09-05 01:28:36 PM
www.smbc-comics.com
 
2013-09-05 01:29:30 PM
Oh, hm. The kid was 3. The guy maybe should have cut him a little slack... at least on verb conjugation.
 
2013-09-05 01:30:38 PM
While I would agree the guy is a douche, the level of he douchery is in question.
I mean, nothing in this article says how hard he slapped the kid. I mean, he should get in trouble, but a 4 year prison term seems like a bit much, especially when he says he knows he got too heavy handed(no pun intended)

Probation and regular visits from child services seems to be the cure here.
 
2013-09-05 01:30:46 PM
Reduce, subby!  Not "bring down"!  Reduce!

/slap
 
2013-09-05 01:32:03 PM
I hope the boy was put with the maternal grandparents.  Dad learned that somewhere, right?
 
2013-09-05 01:32:09 PM

Publikwerks: While I would agree the guy is a douche, the level of he douchery is in question.
I mean, nothing in this article says how hard he slapped the kid. I mean, he should get in trouble, but a 4 year prison term seems like a bit much, especially when he says he knows he got too heavy handed(no pun intended)

Probation and regular visits from child services seems to be the cure here.


Just the right amount of troll in that post. Let's see what happens.
 
2013-09-05 01:32:29 PM
media.tumblr.com

Really?  I'm the first with this?
 
2013-09-05 01:34:02 PM
May I please have five minutes alone with "dad"?  Could you please hand me my Louisville Slugger also? Thank you.
 
2013-09-05 01:36:31 PM

Publikwerks: While I would agree the guy is a douche, the level of he douchery is in question.
I mean, nothing in this article says how hard he slapped the kid. I mean, he should get in trouble, but a 4 year prison term seems like a bit much, especially when he says he knows he got too heavy handed(no pun intended)

Probation and regular visits from child services seems to be the cure here.


I don't think there is a legitimate reason to slap a 3 year old, no matter how hard.  Certainly poor grammar is not worthy of a slap.
 
2013-09-05 01:39:10 PM
I guess teaching your 3 y/o to get you another beer is just played out and not cute anymore.
 
2013-09-05 01:44:54 PM

nocturnal001: Publikwerks: While I would agree the guy is a douche, the level of he douchery is in question.
I mean, nothing in this article says how hard he slapped the kid. I mean, he should get in trouble, but a 4 year prison term seems like a bit much, especially when he says he knows he got too heavy handed(no pun intended)

Probation and regular visits from child services seems to be the cure here.

I don't think there is a legitimate reason to slap a 3 year old, no matter how hard.  Certainly poor grammar is not worthy of a slap.


the kid is about to stick his hand in the fire, you slap his hand.

actually there are plenty of reasons to smack a 3 year old but none of them should be out of anger.
 
2013-09-05 01:47:38 PM
Well, looks like daddy is about to learn something about sentence structure. Such as the important distinction between a 4 year sentence and an 18 month one being served concurrently or consecutively.

Also, and I've asked this before, but here goes again: Anyone know what it is with US news feeling the need to report a suspect's precise address during these reports. It's not like this adds anything to the story, other than the potential for naming and shaming someone later found not guilty of the crime involved.
 
2013-09-05 01:48:07 PM
I have no problem with slapping the bleeding fark out of kids who refuse to use proper grammer in school.
Double punch anyone dropping an "R" or pronouncing it "ARAH"
 
2013-09-05 01:54:05 PM

fireclown: Really?  I'm the first with this?


If you have me on ignore, I suppose.
 
2013-09-05 01:56:37 PM

Waldo Pepper: nocturnal001: Publikwerks: While I would agree the guy is a douche, the level of he douchery is in question.
I mean, nothing in this article says how hard he slapped the kid. I mean, he should get in trouble, but a 4 year prison term seems like a bit much, especially when he says he knows he got too heavy handed(no pun intended)

Probation and regular visits from child services seems to be the cure here.

I don't think there is a legitimate reason to slap a 3 year old, no matter how hard.  Certainly poor grammar is not worthy of a slap.

the kid is about to stick his hand in the fire, you slap his hand.

actually there are plenty of reasons to smack a 3 year old but none of them should be out of anger.


in the face...
 
2013-09-05 02:17:39 PM
"Bad grammar" is poor grammar.
 
2013-09-05 02:42:10 PM

studs up: "Bad grammar" is poor grammar.


Your poor grammar is just looking for a government handout. Tell it to get a damn job.
 
2013-09-05 02:45:32 PM

blatz514: Fark handle?


Don't look at me!
 
2013-09-05 02:47:09 PM

Publikwerks: While I would agree the guy is a douche, the level of he douchery is in question.
I mean, nothing in this article says how hard he slapped the kid. I mean, he should get in trouble, but a 4 year prison term seems like a bit much, especially when he says he knows he got too heavy handed(no pun intended)


RTFA fail.

Webb said he later realized he had struck the boy "too hard and had left slap marks across his face on both sides," an officer wrote.
 
2013-09-05 02:49:28 PM

studs up: "Bad grammar" is poor grammar.


how so?
 
2013-09-05 02:55:06 PM

jigger: studs up: "Bad grammar" is poor grammar.

how so?


"Poor" grammar was the joke. I was taught that the terms "bad" and "poor", when relating to describing grammar, is improper. Is this not still taught?
 
2013-09-05 02:55:51 PM

Russ1642: studs up: "Bad grammar" is poor grammar.

Your poor grammar is just looking for a government handout. Tell it to get a damn job.


Someone gets it.
 
2013-09-05 03:04:46 PM

studs up: jigger: studs up: "Bad grammar" is poor grammar.

how so?

"Poor" grammar was the joke. I was taught that the terms "bad" and "poor", when relating to describing grammar, is improper. Is this not still taught?


I don't see how it's improper. Grammar is a noun. Bad and poor are adjectives.
 
2013-09-05 03:49:50 PM

nocturnal001: Publikwerks: While I would agree the guy is a douche, the level of he douchery is in question.
I mean, nothing in this article says how hard he slapped the kid. I mean, he should get in trouble, but a 4 year prison term seems like a bit much, especially when he says he knows he got too heavy handed(no pun intended)

Probation and regular visits from child services seems to be the cure here.

I don't think there is a legitimate reason to slap a 3 year old, no matter how hard.  Certainly poor grammar is not worthy of a slap.


I dis-concur, some 3-year-olds are pretty uppity...
 
2013-09-05 04:06:03 PM

nocturnal001: Waldo Pepper: nocturnal001: Publikwerks: While I would agree the guy is a douche, the level of he douchery is in question.
I mean, nothing in this article says how hard he slapped the kid. I mean, he should get in trouble, but a 4 year prison term seems like a bit much, especially when he says he knows he got too heavy handed(no pun intended)

Probation and regular visits from child services seems to be the cure here.

I don't think there is a legitimate reason to slap a 3 year old, no matter how hard.  Certainly poor grammar is not worthy of a slap.

the kid is about to stick his hand in the fire, you slap his hand.

actually there are plenty of reasons to smack a 3 year old but none of them should be out of anger.

in the face...


you didn't specify
 
2013-09-05 04:28:06 PM
I think it's kind of funny that a bunch of meat-heads who didn't read the article are looking like real assholes. Now all you dumb asses can eat a nice big pile of shiat and die. There is nothing funny about child abuse.
 
2013-09-05 04:43:25 PM
"Please may I have..."

"Ow!"
 
2013-09-05 04:54:51 PM

Waldo Pepper: nocturnal001: Publikwerks: While I would agree the guy is a douche, the level of he douchery is in question.
I mean, nothing in this article says how hard he slapped the kid. I mean, he should get in trouble, but a 4 year prison term seems like a bit much, especially when he says he knows he got too heavy handed(no pun intended)

Probation and regular visits from child services seems to be the cure here.

I don't think there is a legitimate reason to slap a 3 year old, no matter how hard.  Certainly poor grammar is not worthy of a slap.

the kid is about to stick his hand in the fire, you slap his hand.

actually there are plenty of reasons to smack a 3 year old but none of them should be out of anger.


No, you let it burn so he learns what hot is. You cannot teach hot. It is an experience.

It's like telling a dog no when it eats it own shiat. It doesn't understand your reasoning, only that it wants to eat a tasty snack. Dog's don't understand when you explain why smelling that lit candle is a bad idea. The lesson is learned once the sizzling starts.
 
2013-09-05 05:01:24 PM

jigger: studs up: jigger: studs up: "Bad grammar" is poor grammar.

how so?

"Poor" grammar was the joke. I was taught that the terms "bad" and "poor", when relating to describing grammar, is improper. Is this not still taught?

I don't see how it's improper. Grammar is a noun. Bad and poor are adjectives.


Maybe I went to school too long ago for this to still be in effect, but "poor" and "bad" were described as colloquial when referring to "grammar" (the noun). Then again, when I went to school, literally and figuratively had separate and distinct meanings. We were also taught not to split infinitives, dangle prepositions, nor accept words such as "irregardless" because popular misuse had conflated prevalence with being correct.
/my lawn
 
2013-09-05 05:49:44 PM

vudukungfu: I have no problem with slapping the bleeding fark out of kids who refuse to use proper grammer in school.
Double punch anyone dropping an "R" or pronouncing it "ARAH"


What about Cuber, for Cuba?  And, I sawr it.
Worth a damn good thrashing.
 
2013-09-05 05:57:48 PM

Waldo Pepper: nocturnal001: Waldo Pepper: nocturnal001: Publikwerks: While I would agree the guy is a douche, the level of he douchery is in question.
I mean, nothing in this article says how hard he slapped the kid. I mean, he should get in trouble, but a 4 year prison term seems like a bit much, especially when he says he knows he got too heavy handed(no pun intended)

Probation and regular visits from child services seems to be the cure here.

I don't think there is a legitimate reason to slap a 3 year old, no matter how hard.  Certainly poor grammar is not worthy of a slap.

the kid is about to stick his hand in the fire, you slap his hand.

actually there are plenty of reasons to smack a 3 year old but none of them should be out of anger.

in the face...

you didn't specify


No, but that is what the guy in the article did.
 
2013-09-05 06:29:50 PM

studs up: jigger: studs up: jigger: studs up: "Bad grammar" is poor grammar.

how so?

"Poor" grammar was the joke. I was taught that the terms "bad" and "poor", when relating to describing grammar, is improper. Is this not still taught?

I don't see how it's improper. Grammar is a noun. Bad and poor are adjectives.

Maybe I went to school too long ago for this to still be in effect, but "poor" and "bad" were described as colloquial when referring to "grammar" (the noun). Then again, when I went to school, literally and figuratively had separate and distinct meanings. We were also taught not to split infinitives, dangle prepositions, nor accept words such as "irregardless" because popular misuse had conflated prevalence with being correct.
/my lawn


Well, grammar rules change, I guess. And sometimes for the better.
http://chronicle.com/article/50-Years-of-Stupid-Grammar/25497
farkin strunk and white

http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/farooq-a-kperogi/top-10-useless-outd at ed-english-grammar-rules.html

I particularly like the fact that it's acceptable to end a sentence with a preposition because it seems arbitrary to forbid it. It's very useful and less verbose to do so. Also, I'm fine with starting a sentence with a conjunction, but not how the guy above does it. I think starting a sentence with however is bad. Instead, I like to say "But,...", "Alternatively,...", "Conversely,...", "In contrast,..." Something other than however (because really that's not what however means. Ok, it means that now, I guess.) And, the guy above is wrong wrong wrong about #4.
 
2013-09-05 06:50:02 PM
"Your mad about grammar" would be a great account name for Fark.
 
2013-09-05 07:33:40 PM

jigger: Well, grammar rules change, I guess. And sometimes for the better.


Sometimes not. I'm really not a stickler about these things. The original post was a joke (at least one farker got it). Still, when rules and definitions change to mean the opposite of their original meaning, I think we start tap dancing closer to Ingsoc to mollify the ignorant.
I'm not a huge fan of dumbing down the language to ensure everyone feels justified in their speech and writing. Words and their construction have particular meanings. To make our primary form of communication more nebulous makes us less accountable in our statements and proclamations.
This of course leads to our current political climate of, "What I said was...but...what I meant was..." shenanigans. Slimey bastards are already slippery enough without letting them rape the language.
Gettin' cranky.
 
2013-09-06 01:59:55 AM
I have a friend that would start food orders with "If I could have..." One day I asked him,"If you could have the banana, then what?"
 
2013-09-06 08:37:00 AM

nocturnal001: Waldo Pepper: nocturnal001: Waldo Pepper: nocturnal001: Publikwerks: While I would agree the guy is a douche, the level of he douchery is in question.
I mean, nothing in this article says how hard he slapped the kid. I mean, he should get in trouble, but a 4 year prison term seems like a bit much, especially when he says he knows he got too heavy handed(no pun intended)

Probation and regular visits from child services seems to be the cure here.

I don't think there is a legitimate reason to slap a 3 year old, no matter how hard.  Certainly poor grammar is not worthy of a slap.

the kid is about to stick his hand in the fire, you slap his hand.

actually there are plenty of reasons to smack a 3 year old but none of them should be out of anger.

in the face...

you didn't specify

No, but that is what the guy in the article did.


Your statement does not refer to the article.
 
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