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(Newser)   Today, in bonkers purchases: Not only did a man pony up $120,000 for a one-foot-wide slice of beach in East Hampton, he secured his tony property after an intense bidding war with another Manhattan financier   (newser.com) divider line 105
    More: Silly, East Hampton, Manhattan, Manhattan financier, Suffolk County  
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9297 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Sep 2013 at 11:55 AM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-05 10:53:59 AM
Rich people be crazy.

What's a tony property?
 
2013-09-05 11:02:49 AM
Asshole neighbors wanted to keep each other from accessing the beach. Well,  there's a surprise.

KawaiiNot: What's a tony property?


Tony: "fashionable among wealthy or stylish people. e.g. 'a tony restaurant'"
 
2013-09-05 11:56:26 AM

Rincewind53: Asshole neighbors wanted to keep each other from accessing the beach. Well,  there's a surprise.


I was thinking the same thing - 2 blue-ribbon assholes want to fark each other out of ocean access on ridiculously expensive beach property.  You know, for the "who has the bigger dick" gloating rights.

Surprise, surprise.

If I were the other guy, I'd petition to get a public access easement in place, if there isn't one already.
 
2013-09-05 11:57:37 AM

KawaiiNot: Rich people be crazy.

What's a tony property?


Iron Man.
 
2013-09-05 11:57:58 AM
Protip: When stealing an headline from an article, make sure the author knows how to proof read.
 
2013-09-05 11:58:09 AM
www.fnordinc.com
 
2013-09-05 11:58:42 AM

KawaiiNot: What's a tony property?

 
2013-09-05 11:58:44 AM
GET OFF OF MY LAWN BEACH!
 
2013-09-05 11:58:45 AM

Rincewind53: Asshole neighbors wanted to keep each other from accessing the beach. Well,  there's a surprise.

KawaiiNot: What's a tony property?

Tony: "fashionable among wealthy or stylish people. e.g. 'a tony restaurant'"


Sounds like something that is mobbed up
 
2013-09-05 11:58:47 AM
Remember, these are the sort of people that shuffle the stocks in your 401k to make themselves millions while costing the retirements of everyone trillions.
 
2013-09-05 11:58:51 AM

Rincewind53: Asshole neighbors wanted to keep each other from accessing the beach. Well,  there's a surprise.

KawaiiNot: What's a tony property?

Tony: "fashionable among wealthy or stylish people. e.g. 'a tony restaurant'"


Wow, really?  I was just assuming it was a subby typo.

:0
 
2013-09-05 11:59:48 AM
I don't get it, can someone draw me a map so I can understand how this prevents/enables access to the beach for these guys?
 
2013-09-05 12:00:42 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Rincewind53: Asshole neighbors wanted to keep each other from accessing the beach. Well,  there's a surprise.

KawaiiNot: What's a tony property?

Tony: "fashionable among wealthy or stylish people. e.g. 'a tony restaurant'"

Wow, really?  I was just assuming it was a subby typo.

:0


I still think it was a typo for "tiny"
 
2013-09-05 12:00:53 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Rincewind53: Asshole neighbors wanted to keep each other from accessing the beach. Well,  there's a surprise.

KawaiiNot: What's a tony property?

Tony: "fashionable among wealthy or stylish people. e.g. 'a tony restaurant'"

Wow, really?  I was just assuming it was a subby typo.

:0


That sounds made up. I'm going with typo too.
 
2013-09-05 12:02:51 PM
1 foot wide, but how long?

1,885-long

What are the units? I am assuming feet. So you're talking about 1885 square feet of beachfront property.

(roughly equivalent to a 43x43 square)

beach front property is not cheap.
 
2013-09-05 12:03:06 PM
"If you own a beach house, do you own the sand and the ocean?"

media.arstechnica.com
 
2013-09-05 12:03:19 PM

scottydoesntknow: Satanic_Hamster: Rincewind53: Asshole neighbors wanted to keep each other from accessing the beach. Well,  there's a surprise.

KawaiiNot: What's a tony property?

Tony: "fashionable among wealthy or stylish people. e.g. 'a tony restaurant'"

Wow, really?  I was just assuming it was a subby typo.

:0

That sounds made up. I'm going with typo too.


And here I thought my ex was saying my penis was fashionable among stylish people, turns out it was probably a typo?
 
2013-09-05 12:03:33 PM
Black people problems. No wait, that's not quite right.
 
2013-09-05 12:03:50 PM
jst3p: I don't get it, can someone draw me a map so I can understand how this prevents/enables access to the beach for these guys?

1 foot wide, but much longer

put up a fence on your property
 
2013-09-05 12:04:39 PM
See, this is why rich people need tax brakes. This must have trickled down hundreds of jobs.
 
2013-09-05 12:05:00 PM

GoldSpider: "If you own a beach house, do you own the sand and the ocean?"

[media.arstechnica.com image 375x203]


"You can't own property, man"

i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-09-05 12:05:14 PM

Aristocles: Satanic_Hamster: Rincewind53: Asshole neighbors wanted to keep each other from accessing the beach. Well,  there's a surprise.

KawaiiNot: What's a tony property?

Tony: "fashionable among wealthy or stylish people. e.g. 'a tony restaurant'"

Wow, really?  I was just assuming it was a subby typo.

:0

I still think it was a typo for "tiny"


Agreed.

Still, considering that it's in the Hamptons, it's a tiny tony property.
 
2013-09-05 12:06:11 PM

KawaiiNot: Rich people be crazy.

What's a tony property?


For a minute there, I thought it was a slur for property owned by Italians.
 
2013-09-05 12:06:38 PM

jst3p: I don't get it, can someone draw me a map so I can understand how this prevents/enables access to the beach for these guys?


yeah, i need some kind of visual aid as well.  i don't understand how one guy would keep bidding to keep the other guy from getting the land, in order to prevent the other guy from walking on his property to get to the beach.  it seems that if he wanted to keep the guy off his property, he simply would have let him have the tiny sliver of land.  it doesn't make any sense.  i can't imagine how much these two rich assholes must hate each other to bid that much money for something so irrelevant.  that's three times what i make in a year.
 
2013-09-05 12:06:56 PM
i286.photobucket.comi117.photobucket.com

I prefer the oscars
i81.photobucket.com
i251.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-05 12:07:03 PM

KawaiiNot: What's a tony property?


They're GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!
 
2013-09-05 12:09:12 PM

enderthexenocide: jst3p: I don't get it, can someone draw me a map so I can understand how this prevents/enables access to the beach for these guys?

yeah, i need some kind of visual aid as well.  i don't understand how one guy would keep bidding to keep the other guy from getting the land, in order to prevent the other guy from walking on his property to get to the beach.  it seems that if he wanted to keep the guy off his property, he simply would have let him have the tiny sliver of land.  it doesn't make any sense.  i can't imagine how much these two rich assholes must hate each other to bid that much money for something so irrelevant.  that's three times what i make in a year.


TFA says it touches six properties.

I am wondering if it is something like this with the "I" representing the one foot sliver.


Asshole 1 property I Asshole two property
Another property    I Another property
Beach property      I Beach property
BEACH BEACH BEACH  BEACH BEACH
 
2013-09-05 12:10:19 PM
I thought it was a strip of land where he was going to display his Tony awards.
 
2013-09-05 12:10:41 PM

jst3p: enderthexenocide: jst3p: I don't get it, can someone draw me a map so I can understand how this prevents/enables access to the beach for these guys?

yeah, i need some kind of visual aid as well.  i don't understand how one guy would keep bidding to keep the other guy from getting the land, in order to prevent the other guy from walking on his property to get to the beach.  it seems that if he wanted to keep the guy off his property, he simply would have let him have the tiny sliver of land.  it doesn't make any sense.  i can't imagine how much these two rich assholes must hate each other to bid that much money for something so irrelevant.  that's three times what i make in a year.

TFA says it touches six properties.

I am wondering if it is something like this with the "I" representing the one foot sliver.


Asshole 1 property I Asshole two property
Another property    I Another property
Beach property      I Beach property
BEACH BEACH BEACH  BEACH BEACH


Meant to add, this means one of the assholes has legal access to the beach while asshole 2 would have to trespass now.
 
2013-09-05 12:12:04 PM

scottydoesntknow: Satanic_Hamster: Rincewind53: Asshole neighbors wanted to keep each other from accessing the beach. Well,  there's a surprise.

KawaiiNot: What's a tony property?

Tony: "fashionable among wealthy or stylish people. e.g. 'a tony restaurant'"

Wow, really?  I was just assuming it was a subby typo.

:0

That sounds made up. I'm going with typo too.


Then you are wrong.  Tony is an old informal term for high-class.  Probably derives from the word tone, being used to indicate quality in music, art, fitness, etc. So a tony restaurant is one that is of high quality, i.e. 4-5  star.  In this case, tony property refers to the desireability of the beaches in that part of Long Island (and probably the rather high newly-established market value of the property after this little bidding war).
 
2013-09-05 12:12:58 PM

tricycleracer: [www.fnordinc.com image 600x550]


Came here for this. Thank you.
 
2013-09-05 12:13:09 PM

phalamir: scottydoesntknow: Satanic_Hamster: Rincewind53: Asshole neighbors wanted to keep each other from accessing the beach. Well,  there's a surprise.

KawaiiNot: What's a tony property?

Tony: "fashionable among wealthy or stylish people. e.g. 'a tony restaurant'"

Wow, really?  I was just assuming it was a subby typo.

:0

That sounds made up. I'm going with typo too.

Then you are wrong.  Tony is an old informal term for high-class.  Probably derives from the word tone, being used to indicate quality in music, art, fitness, etc. So a tony restaurant is one that is of high quality, i.e. 4-5  star.  In this case, tony property refers to the desireability of the beaches in that part of Long Island (and probably the rather high newly-established market value of the property after this little bidding war).


So my penis is actually high class? Sweet!
 
2013-09-05 12:14:16 PM
It sounds like the strip runs alongside one of the asshole combattants' place.  If I was the asshole who bought the property, I'd take that 1' strip and put poles about every 6' with wind chimes on it.  Maybe also make them good roosting habitat for noisy shiathawks.
 
2013-09-05 12:14:25 PM

KawaiiNot: Rich people be crazy.

What's a tony property?


White people problems.
 
2013-09-05 12:15:07 PM

jst3p: Meant to add, this means one of the assholes has legal access to the beach while asshole 2 would have to trespass now.


"Go ahead and call the cops again, Preston.  I'll be done having sex on the beach with your sister by the time they show up."
 
2013-09-05 12:17:08 PM

KawaiiNot: Rich people be crazy.

What's a tony property?


It's a place you take your leggy dish of eye-candy.
 
2013-09-05 12:18:30 PM

vudukungfu: KawaiiNot: Rich people be crazy.

What's a tony property?

White people problems.


 Are you white, too?
 
2013-09-05 12:19:04 PM

jst3p: jst3p: enderthexenocide: jst3p: I don't get it, can someone draw me a map so I can understand how this prevents/enables access to the beach for these guys?

yeah, i need some kind of visual aid as well.  i don't understand how one guy would keep bidding to keep the other guy from getting the land, in order to prevent the other guy from walking on his property to get to the beach.  it seems that if he wanted to keep the guy off his property, he simply would have let him have the tiny sliver of land.  it doesn't make any sense.  i can't imagine how much these two rich assholes must hate each other to bid that much money for something so irrelevant.  that's three times what i make in a year.

TFA says it touches six properties.

I am wondering if it is something like this with the "I" representing the one foot sliver.


Asshole 1 property I Asshole two property
Another property    I Another property
Beach property      I Beach property
BEACH BEACH BEACH  BEACH BEACH

Meant to add, this means one of the assholes has legal access to the beach while asshole 2 would have to trespass now.


You are probably right. Nice creation of a visual aid within the confines of regular text.

Also, if you are correct, asshole 1 would have to walk sideways to not trespass on the other properties, no?
 
2013-09-05 12:21:09 PM

wildcardjack: Remember, these are the sort of people that shuffle the stocks in your 401k to make themselves millions while costing the retirements of everyone trillions.


And donate to politicians who will let them do the same thing with Social Security.
 
2013-09-05 12:21:58 PM
Bonkers is fun. Bonkers is nice. Bonkers is never the same game twice!

/You're welcome
 
2013-09-05 12:22:43 PM
Gonna be a dental floss tycoon.
 
2013-09-05 12:26:20 PM

Debeo Summa Credo: jst3p: jst3p: enderthexenocide: jst3p: I don't get it, can someone draw me a map so I can understand how this prevents/enables access to the beach for these guys?

yeah, i need some kind of visual aid as well.  i don't understand how one guy would keep bidding to keep the other guy from getting the land, in order to prevent the other guy from walking on his property to get to the beach.  it seems that if he wanted to keep the guy off his property, he simply would have let him have the tiny sliver of land.  it doesn't make any sense.  i can't imagine how much these two rich assholes must hate each other to bid that much money for something so irrelevant.  that's three times what i make in a year.

TFA says it touches six properties.

I am wondering if it is something like this with the "I" representing the one foot sliver.


Asshole 1 property I Asshole two property
Another property    I Another property
Beach property      I Beach property
BEACH BEACH BEACH  BEACH BEACH

Meant to add, this means one of the assholes has legal access to the beach while asshole 2 would have to trespass now.

You are probably right. Nice creation of a visual aid within the confines of regular text.

Also, if you are correct, asshole 1 would have to walk sideways to not trespass on the other properties, no?


I could walk semi-normally between two lines set 12 inches apart.
 
2013-09-05 12:28:34 PM

jst3p: jst3p: enderthexenocide: jst3p: I don't get it, can someone draw me a map so I can understand how this prevents/enables access to the beach for these guys?

yeah, i need some kind of visual aid as well.  i don't understand how one guy would keep bidding to keep the other guy from getting the land, in order to prevent the other guy from walking on his property to get to the beach.  it seems that if he wanted to keep the guy off his property, he simply would have let him have the tiny sliver of land.  it doesn't make any sense.  i can't imagine how much these two rich assholes must hate each other to bid that much money for something so irrelevant.  that's three times what i make in a year.

TFA says it touches six properties.

I am wondering if it is something like this with the "I" representing the one foot sliver.


Asshole 1 property I Asshole two property
Another property    I Another property
Beach property      I Beach property
BEACH BEACH BEACH  BEACH BEACH

Meant to add, this means one of the assholes has legal access to the beach while asshole 2 would have to trespass now.


Not sure how your diagram prevents beach access since there is an west side to Asshole 1 and a east side to asshole 2 that they could possibly use (or if they are back to back with west and east neighbors respectively, then they could go around the block)

I was thinking more along these lines:

house1  house2  Asshole1  Asshole2  house3  house 4
____________________________________________   tony line

Beach Beach Beach Beach Beach Beach Beach Beach

but wouldn't the best troll to just by a ring of property around the other guy?


__________
|  Asshole1   |  Asshole2
~~~~~~~~~~
Beach Beach  Beach  Beach  Beach
 
2013-09-05 12:28:39 PM
"I plan to build on it someday!"

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/1454708
 
2013-09-05 12:29:35 PM
I was in Newport Beach, CA recently -- your neighbors?  oh, just Berry Gordy, the Google dude, Michael Douglas, Kobe Bryant, et al -- and on the sidewalk about 30 yards from the beach, there's all these rather quaint looking single level homes, perhaps 1400 sq feet, but with the pacific ocean about a baseball throw away.

anyways, one was an undeveloped dirt lot for sale.  ehh......15 yards wide, maybe 40-45 yards to the street (plus or minus.)  had a "for sale" sign on the wooden planks.  went to zillow that night.

One point four five or some shiat.  One point something.  I could NOT believe that.  just to own that strip of beach, one point and change.  and then to build a house?  amazing.
 
2013-09-05 12:30:58 PM
I read the first part of the headline and was like wtf, they're selling those chewy candies again!?
 
2013-09-05 12:37:09 PM

Hyjamon: Not sure how your diagram prevents beach access since there is an west side to Asshole 1 and a east side to asshole 2 that they could possibly use (or if they are back to back with west and east neighbors respectively, then they could go around the block)

I was thinking more along these lines:

house1 house2 Asshole1 Asshole2 house3 house 4
____________________________________________ tony line

Beach Beach Beach Beach Beach Beach Beach Beach

but wouldn't the best troll to just by a ring of property around the other guy?


__________
| Asshole1 | Asshole2
~~~~~~~~~~
Beach Beach Beach Beach Beach


I am pretty sure if that were the case more than two people would be interested in it. Your way all the houses require it to have legal beach access and it would make more sense to offer the part of the strip that is adjacent to each house to each property owner. Originally the entire thing was offered to all six property owners for $10. This and the fact that only two of them cared tells me it was more valuable to these two than the other four for some reason. I admit my explanation is flawed, but I think mine is closer than yours....
 
2013-09-05 12:45:29 PM

jst3p: enderthexenocide: jst3p: I don't get it, can someone draw me a map so I can understand how this prevents/enables access to the beach for these guys?

yeah, i need some kind of visual aid as well.  i don't understand how one guy would keep bidding to keep the other guy from getting the land, in order to prevent the other guy from walking on his property to get to the beach.  it seems that if he wanted to keep the guy off his property, he simply would have let him have the tiny sliver of land.  it doesn't make any sense.  i can't imagine how much these two rich assholes must hate each other to bid that much money for something so irrelevant.  that's three times what i make in a year.

TFA says it touches six properties.

I am wondering if it is something like this with the "I" representing the one foot sliver.


Asshole 1 property I Asshole two property
Another property    I Another property
Beach property      I Beach property
BEACH BEACH BEACH  BEACH BEACH


Its not clear but I pictured it more like:

Asshole 1 property I Another property
Another property    I Asshole 2 property
BEACH BEACH BEACH  BEACH BEACH


My guess is Asshole 1 has been told by Asshole 2 to stay the hell off his property and drive around if he wants to go to the beach in the past.  So this land comes up and Asshole 1 gets all 'oh then I can legally walk straight to the beach'.  Asshole 2 tells him to get farked he is going to buy it to stop him.
 
2013-09-05 12:47:32 PM
Has anybody asked about what a "tony property" is yet?
 
2013-09-05 12:49:36 PM
From a different article (Or the same one. How should I know?) :

"The land, which runs alongside both men's beach homes, appears to give Helie pieces of land on three sides of Cruz's property, effectively blocking off his access to the beach, the report shows."

It also says the strip runs from the street to the beach, so I'm not sure how it could block off three sides of someone's property.
 
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