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(BBC)   Fifty Shades of Grey "couldn't get big stars." Hey, give Ron Jeremy a break, he's recovering from heart trouble   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 42
    More: Followup, Ron Jeremy, Charlie Hunnam, Hey, Dakota Johnson, EL James  
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1745 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Sep 2013 at 9:15 AM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-05 08:36:37 AM
Why is female porn more acceptable in the mainstream than male porn?
 
2013-09-05 09:18:15 AM

EvilEgg: Why is female porn more acceptable in the mainstream than male porn?


Because when they watch it, it's for the sensuality and erotic feelings while we're just horn dogs who want to spank it as hard as possible and will get off to nearly anything.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to watch Ebony Anal Butt Sluts 9
 
2013-09-05 09:22:54 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: will get off to nearly anything


...and I'm done
 
2013-09-05 09:25:20 AM

EvilEgg: Why is female porn more acceptable in the mainstream than male porn?


Because it's more story, and less skin and americans are prudes about nakedness. IMO. Violence is okay.

/remembers that time America lost its shiat over a nipple being exposed for .8 seconds at a halftime show
 
2013-09-05 09:26:09 AM
I haven't read the books and will never come within 50 feet of the movie (projector or dvd), but Charlie Hunnam has been great in SOA
 
2013-09-05 09:34:01 AM
Getting 'Big stars' is a double edged sword. You get instant box office appeal, and a bigger budget. But those same stars' salaries are going to eat up a lot of that budget, and because the stakes are higher the director has to appease the studio by honoring their notes and revisions, thus losing creative control. I think that may be how batman's costume ended up with nipples.

That's why I like Jeff Nichols' films like Take Shelter and Mud. Big enough that production value is there but small enough that he doesn't have sacrifice his vision (too much).

Seriously there are some amazing movies being made these days, there just isn't anyone seeing them.
 
2013-09-05 09:34:49 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: EvilEgg: Why is female porn more acceptable in the mainstream than male porn?

Because when they watch it, it's for the sensuality and erotic feelings while we're just horn dogs who want to spank it as hard as possible and will get off to nearly anything.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to watch Ebony Anal Butt Sluts 9


Nearly?

/rule 34, my friend
 
2013-09-05 09:47:20 AM
static.guim.co.uk
Half of the band is dead, I don't know what the other two are doing these days.
 
2013-09-05 10:00:08 AM
Hiring big stars and paying them their salaries just eats into the profit margins of the bajillion dollars these movies are going to make.    It already has the brand and the audience without them.

I don't really get why people care so much about casting.   I've never seen a movie trailer and thought "That looks like a steaming pile of shiat,  but it does have Will Smith so I guess I'll go see it."    The flip side, as much as 14 year old boys and moutbreathers complain about who got cast in their latest lowest common denominator comic book adaptation film equivalent of Taco Bell, they never fail to mass consume it.
 
2013-09-05 10:10:41 AM

InmanRoshi: Hiring big stars and paying them their salaries just eats into the profit margins of the bajillion dollars these movies are going to make.    It already has the brand and the audience without them.

I don't really get why people care so much about casting.   I've never seen a movie trailer and thought "That looks like a steaming pile of shiat,  but it does have Will Smith so I guess I'll go see it."    The flip side, as much as 14 year old boys and moutbreathers complain about who got cast in their latest lowest common denominator comic book adaptation film equivalent of Taco Bell, they never fail to mass consume it.


There are a few people that, if I see they're in the movie, I'll give it a chance, but not many. Joseph Gordon Levitt for one, Jessica Chastain also.

I'll give more directors the benefit of the doubt. The Coens, Guillermo Del Torro, Alphonse Cuaron, the above mentioned Jeff Nichols, Rian Johnson. Peter Berg used to be on that list, but fark him after Battleship.
 
2013-09-05 10:25:09 AM
To satiate the monstrous sexual urges of the soccer mom, we had to create monsters of our own.
 
2013-09-05 10:32:33 AM
Say what you like, Ron Jeremy is a pretty goddammed cool guy. He's funny and charming as hell in real life. I'd watch the Ron Jeremy version of 50 Shades of Grey and probably laugh my ass off.
 
2013-09-05 10:33:19 AM
Charlie Hunnam isn't a big star??
 
2013-09-05 10:33:29 AM

EvilEgg: Why is female porn more acceptable in the mainstream than male porn?


Well truth be told you get a lot more soft core porn in movies targeted towards men.
 
2013-09-05 10:35:58 AM

likefunbutnot: Say what you like, Ron Jeremy is a pretty goddammed cool guy. He's funny and charming as hell in real life. I'd watch the Ron Jeremy version of 50 Shades of Grey and probably laugh my ass off.


I agree. The guy really does come across as a decent chap. Looks like he's just great fun to hang out with.
 
2013-09-05 10:48:53 AM

Ross E. Krushan: likefunbutnot: Say what you like, Ron Jeremy is a pretty goddammed cool guy. He's funny and charming as hell in real life. I'd watch the Ron Jeremy version of 50 Shades of Grey and probably laugh my ass off.

I agree. The guy really does come across as a decent chap. Looks like he's just great fun to hang out with.


I agree also and I didn't intend for any insult towards him in the headline. What other "big" star could you have for a headline like this? :-D
 
2013-09-05 11:15:13 AM

somedude210: Ross E. Krushan: likefunbutnot: Say what you like, Ron Jeremy is a pretty goddammed cool guy. He's funny and charming as hell in real life. I'd watch the Ron Jeremy version of 50 Shades of Grey and probably laugh my ass off.

I agree. The guy really does come across as a decent chap. Looks like he's just great fun to hang out with.

I agree also and I didn't intend for any insult towards him in the headline. What other "big" star could you have for a headline like this? :-D


I thought your headline was great, honestly. I laughed. And you're right. When it comes to this farce of a film you have to try to wit it up with the obvious, ya know?
 
2013-09-05 11:35:32 AM
Does not matter. This movie and the two inevitable sequels will be massive hits, just like the books.

Sex sells. Slightly taboo sex sells even better.
 
2013-09-05 11:42:34 AM

Cymbal: Slightly taboo sex sells even better.


Didn't have stock in Blue Orchid, did you?
 
2013-09-05 11:47:15 AM
Maybe the film producers are lying about Ron Jeremy's health. Maybe they did want to film in wide screen.
 
2013-09-05 12:10:33 PM

Ross E. Krushan: I thought your headline was great, honestly. I laughed. And you're right. When it comes to this farce of a film you have to try to wit it up with the obvious, ya know?


with most things in life, you need to mock and laugh at them. And this is why I write for Fark
 
2013-09-05 12:13:50 PM

Mad_Radhu: To satiate the monstrous sexual urges of the soccer mom, we had to create monsters of our own.


I desperately want to print out in 50pt font size, cut it out of the paper and tape it to outside of the women's lavatory door where I work.
 
2013-09-05 12:25:30 PM
Why are they even making a movie? There already is a porn parody that more or less covered all the bases...
 
2013-09-05 12:42:21 PM

EvilEgg: Why is female porn more acceptable in the mainstream than male porn?


Well, female targeted porn can be turned into a 2 hour movie for theatrical release. Men tend to lose interest in their porn after about ten minutes.
 
2013-09-05 01:36:00 PM
I may not be a casting agent but considering the title and subject matter I think Sasha Grey would have been one of the first people I called.  She was pretty wooden in The Girlfriend Experience, but I don't think anyone is really going to see this for the story.
 
2013-09-05 01:50:16 PM
You can get your quickly reworded Twilight lemon to the New York Times bestsellers list, but you can't get it to screen.

I wish nothing but eternal ruin and misfortune to all involved in this project. The producers, the screenwriters, the actors, the caterers, they all need to be slapped.
 
2013-09-05 03:22:46 PM

stoli n coke: EvilEgg: Why is female porn more acceptable in the mainstream than male porn?

Well, female targeted porn can be turned into a 2 hour movie for theatrical release. Men tend to lose interest in their porn after about ten minutes.


10 minutes??? What marathon are you running?
 
2013-09-05 03:47:52 PM
Chicks like to leave it to the imagination.

This film's gonna BOMB.
 
2013-09-05 03:55:07 PM

somedude210: Ross E. Krushan: likefunbutnot: Say what you like, Ron Jeremy is a pretty goddammed cool guy. He's funny and charming as hell in real life. I'd watch the Ron Jeremy version of 50 Shades of Grey and probably laugh my ass off.

I agree. The guy really does come across as a decent chap. Looks like he's just great fun to hang out with.

I agree also and I didn't intend for any insult towards him in the headline. What other "big" star could you have for a headline like this? :-D


I met him briefly when he was signing bottles of his "Ron de Jeremy" spiced rum, and it must have been an off day.  Seemed very tired, but this was very soon after he was out of the hospital last spring.  He did perk up when a few ladies came by though.  But it was disheartening seeing one of your heroes pimping hooch in a liquor store in Lynnwood wearing sweats and looking like he was about to keel over at any moment.

/non-CSB
 
2013-09-05 05:22:53 PM

EyeballKid: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]
Half of the band is dead, I don't know what the other two are doing these days.


I think they're way out west.
 
2013-09-05 05:58:53 PM

coolpapabell: I may not be a casting agent but considering the title and subject matter I think Sasha Grey would have been one of the first people I called.  She was pretty wooden in The Girlfriend Experience, but I don't think anyone is really going to see this for the story.


The audience for this is mostly women. Most likely repressed fat women who don't get farked anymore. Casting a hot young pornstar is a total no-no.  It's like the cheerleader rule: they can be hot, but not so hot as to be threatening.
 
2013-09-05 06:45:09 PM
I'm pretty sure that the only real requirement for casting this was whether the actors were willing to get naked a lot and do the requisite sex scenes.
 
2013-09-05 07:56:11 PM

rynthetyn: I'm pretty sure that the only real requirement for casting this was whether the actors were willing to get naked a lot and do the requisite sex scenes.


This just in: Jessica Alba has been cast!
 
2013-09-05 10:26:56 PM

Fano: rynthetyn: I'm pretty sure that the only real requirement for casting this was whether the actors were willing to get naked a lot and do the requisite sex scenes.

This just in: Jessica Alba has been cast!


As the narrator.
 
2013-09-05 10:46:37 PM

coolpapabell: I may not be a casting agent but considering the title and subject matter I think Sasha Grey would have been one of the first people I called.  She was pretty wooden in The Girlfriend Experience, but I don't think anyone is really going to see this for the story.


Sasha gave the book a bad review.
 
2013-09-05 11:44:17 PM

teto85: coolpapabell: I may not be a casting agent but considering the title and subject matter I think Sasha Grey would have been one of the first people I called.  She was pretty wooden in The Girlfriend Experience, but I don't think anyone is really going to see this for the story.

Sasha gave the book a bad review.


Yeah, and Robert Pattinson mocks Twitards every chance he gets, but there he is.
 
2013-09-06 12:14:57 AM

ZeroCorpse: Fano: rynthetyn: I'm pretty sure that the only real requirement for casting this was whether the actors were willing to get naked a lot and do the requisite sex scenes.

This just in: Jessica Alba has been cast!

As the narrator.


Yeah, doesn't she not do any actual nudity?
 
2013-09-06 02:20:27 AM

rynthetyn: ZeroCorpse: Fano: rynthetyn: I'm pretty sure that the only real requirement for casting this was whether the actors were willing to get naked a lot and do the requisite sex scenes.

This just in: Jessica Alba has been cast!

As the narrator.

Yeah, doesn't she not do any actual nudity?


I never figured out how she was cast in the role. SHE HAD ONE JOB!
 
2013-09-06 07:33:59 AM

redmid17: I haven't read the books and will never come within 50 feet of the movie


Try  Jenny Trout Reads 50 Shades of Grey

Along the same lines Mark Reads Twilight

Now you know how bad the books are, without the shame and pain of having to have read them.
 
2013-09-06 08:35:04 AM

Girl Sailor: EyeballKid: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]
Half of the band is dead, I don't know what the other two are doing these days.

I think they're way out west.


Are you sure? I have it on good authority they're hanging out down the street, which I'm more likely to believe, as that's what they were doing last week as well.
 
2013-09-06 10:27:34 AM

EyeballKid: Girl Sailor: EyeballKid: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]
Half of the band is dead, I don't know what the other two are doing these days.

I think they're way out west.

Are you sure? I have it on good authority they're hanging out down the street, which I'm more likely to believe, as that's what they were doing last week as well.


Hey now. Don't lie to me, pal.
 
2013-09-06 12:27:27 PM
i970.photobucket.com
 
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