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(Chicago Trib)   Anheuser Busch opens beer research center at the University of Illinois. Classes will be an hour long with bathroom breaks every five minutes   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 8
    More: Cool, University of Illinois, Illinois, Anheuser-Busch InBev, researchers, data analysis, Champaign, bathrooms  
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2013-09-05 09:01:52 AM  
They hope to build a device that will detect beer in any of their products by 2021. A very ambitious program.
 
2013-09-05 09:02:51 AM  
So when will InBev take it over and close half of it down?
 
2013-09-05 09:04:24 AM  
We have invented a Bud Light so light that it defies gravity. It'll still cost you $9 a six pack.

/no. I don't have anything better to do
 
2013-09-05 09:06:32 AM  
The Champaign of beers?
 
2013-09-05 09:13:04 AM  
Here at the Anheuser Busch Research Center, we are developing the next generation of marketing characters. Like a Spudz McKenzie without the kid friendly, rabid dog face eating characteristics. We have to develop characters that make good media entities and convenience store standees. Our current project, Slutz McGuzzle, is testing well on campus but those not guy people seem to have a problem with Sluts. Parents, it seems, don't want to walk in to Circle K and see a life sized Sluts standing with a six pack of our product saying "I take it straight down the throat, fellas!"

So it's back to the drawing board. Penguins? Everyone likes penguins. Hopefully, everyone has forgotten about Bud Ice. I'm sure the people who drank Bud Ice sure have. Formaldehyde will kill the brain cells.
Do cats like beer? Our research will find out.
 
2013-09-05 09:16:08 AM  
Convenient subby...bc their beer already tastes like a urinal smells.
 
2013-09-05 09:16:56 AM  
You know, I could have told AB that its beer sucks for a lot less than it cost to build a "Beer Research Center"
 
2013-09-05 09:18:40 AM  
 
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