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(Detroit Free Press)   GM to offer smaller Hummer in 2005   ( divider line
    More: Asinine  
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16708 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2004 at 11:12 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2004-01-14 12:53:11 PM  
bush lied. american troops died. sit back with your eyes closed and fingers in your ears and enjoy your hummer.
2004-01-14 12:53:43 PM  
After that crap they've foisted off on the public this last decade, I think I deserve a hummer!
All bow to the mighty GTO!
2004-01-14 12:54:34 PM  
All these people who think they need SUV's. Jeez, it's funny to watch.

You DON'T need an SUV for groceries. I used to do huge shopping trips in my mitsubisi mirage. you just pack it in.

You DON'T need an SUV for your kids, unless you have five, which point you need to stop breeding. Most people who have two or three kids get an suv, when a normal sedan could seat them just FINE and did for years before the invention of the SUV.

It's all just dumb. People in other devoloped nations survive just fine without a bajillion suv's. This "need" is all in your head.

And has anyone else noticed that the newer SUV's are starting to look suspiciously like minivans or giant station wagons?
2004-01-14 12:55:44 PM  
Nothing like an SUV thread to flush the socialists out of the woodwork.

I especially enjoy the assertion that owning an SUV automatically makes one a bad driver. Here's a clue, ladies and gentlemen: being American automatically makes one a bad driver. Our driver training system is a joke.
2004-01-14 12:56:26 PM  
*forehead slap* I forgot the rant about who the fark has four children, they know what causes that know, once again demonstrating that what trash shares an evolutionary niche with rodents (Breed readily enough and the species is sure to perpetuate!), where did I put my forced sterilization for the good of the gene pool placard?

My nihilistic ranting is obviously slipping.
2004-01-14 12:56:53 PM  
Humvee = for truly tough fighting men, with large penises, putting their asses on the line protecting the Land of the Free, men with grit and substance.

Hummer = for attention whores with too much money and laughably small penises, all show and no substance.

Baby Hummer = for the truly pathetic pencil thin dicks, crayon length. hugely popular with menopausal viagra popping men.

Rav 4 = for their psychotic female counterparts
2004-01-14 12:56:58 PM  

And has anyone else noticed that the newer SUV's are starting to look suspiciously like minivans or giant station wagons?

I was thinking more "formless shapeless boxes".

I just want to thank this thread for the innate rantability that's relieving some serious stress. Thanks, man. I mean it.
2004-01-14 12:57:24 PM  
I like the H3T. If, in future, I want a small truck, I might consider a 10-year-old used H3T. Buying a new one, however, is just a stupid thing to do with money, what with depreciation and all. I'll stick to my $1100 1988 Toyota Camry station wagon. Loads of cargo space, 30 mpg, power everything and I've gotten over 30,000 miles out of it. $1100 is barely three months of car payments for most people...
2004-01-14 12:58:30 PM  
You don't NEED to concern yourself with how other people spend their money. The "need" is all in your head.
2004-01-14 12:58:49 PM  
I've found that the most ardent SUV haters are urban apartment dwelling, marketing drone types that would be hard pressed to fix even a clogged drain. When I bought my house and started my business, my blazer became my best friend. Head down to the hardware store for a couple of gallons of paint and a bandsaw? No problem, chuck it in the back. Next to the kitchen and bath showroom to pick up a new sink and crapper. That goes in too. Tile store run. My terra cotta came in. Cool. Just enough room left beside that Kohler flush-a-matic. Get home in a blizzard no less. Drop off all the goodies, and get ready to go to second job. It may be saturday, but when it's your own business, you work 24/7. Load up two computers and three monitors for delivery. Head back out in blizzard. And you're telling me that I don't need a SUV or truck? Get out of my face and go back to crying in your grande latte down at the metrosexual cafe.
2004-01-14 12:59:07 PM  

and you need to tell other people what to concern themselves with?
2004-01-14 12:59:28 PM  
People need those Hummers so they can haul more stuff to their bigger houses to fill up their bigger closets, and then they need the Hummers to haul the stuff they bought last week to the Goodwill and to their storage sheds. Then they have to go shopping on the way home to buy a different color of the thing they just got rid of......etc.

and they're insecure, besides.
2004-01-14 01:00:10 PM  

So, the only question for you is whether it's legal? And fark anyone else who biatches? Does that perspective apply to everything?

For instance, say you live in one of the many areas of the US that have been dealing with long-term drought. And your community may not have yet imposed water usage limits, but everybody understands the severity of the situation and are working together to conserve the resource by eliminating unnecessary use. And you're doing your part too, but you notice that your neighbor just won't give up that green lawn and continues to water the shiat out of it everyday while you and others act in a more responsible manner.

Now, your neighbor isn't doing anything illegal, but don't you think you have a right to voice your opinion? Would you have reason to be angry if the response was "fark off, you nature lovin' tree hugger, I'm gonna piss away as much water as I want until they tell me it's illegal 'cuz I don't give a shiat about the environment or other people"?

Or must the right or wrong of every issue come down to whether there is a law covering the situation--that there are no moral or ethical right or wrongs, just legal ones?
2004-01-14 01:00:36 PM  

you are obviously not a grocery-buying soccer mom if you're building your own house, and MAY JUST PERHAPS utilize a large truck. congratulations, and help yourself to the righteous indignation. it's free!
2004-01-14 01:00:51 PM  
even in our 'benevolent'ly managed free market, if the vehicles are already appropriately taxed based on their increased waste - I think it is well beyond the best interest of the economy to dictate personal conveyance to that degree.

SUVs are not vehicles that destroy otherwise productive members of society.

if people don't think they're taxed in accordance to their increased waste, that's a legitimate debate.

to argue that they shouldn't be available to purchase because no one 'need's them, is taking the argument down a ridiculous path.

most americans don't 'need' anything larger than a subcompact or a station wagon. most americans in cities with mass transit don't even 'need' taxis or personal vehicles at all.

Of course, any dictator worth his iron fist would recognize a healthy amount of these economic vices are essential to keeping people happy. If SUVs aren't destroying productivity, but instead simply drawing them tighter into the production/consumption machine - how is that undesireable?
2004-01-14 01:01:02 PM  
People are welcome to spend their money on anything legal, including Big Ass SUVs.

But they should realise that they want those Big Ass SUV thanks to the wonders of Marketing. The Car companies want people to buy those Big Ass SUVs because they're the most profitable product lines - they have the largest markups of any vehicle class.

This is the Marketing that convinces them that they *need* the Big Ass SUV in defiance of all logic. That it will make them a better, more successful person with a full, firm Manhood. Scientific studies show that SUVs do not lead to an improved sex life, and are often more dangerous to their occupants than other vehicle types (usually because SUV drivers are less likely to use seatbelts and more likely to lose control of their vehicle than other road users).

People who fall for that line of bull are entitled to spend their money however they like. They're still idiots, though.

(Note : some folks who live in the middle of nowhere need trucks or SUV to get out of their driveways when it snows - even a Subaru, with its lower ground clearance, won't do - they're exempted from the Idiot classification).
2004-01-14 01:01:09 PM  
It'll be interesting when they start rolling out the hybred SUVs. I think there will be a hybred Explorer coming out later this year or in 2005.
2004-01-14 01:01:18 PM  
hummers are not totally useless. i would like to see you mount an M2-50cal to the top of a normal car and see how far you get. Plus try carrying 40 AT-4's, 5 people, a frequency jammer, 8 boxes of water, 100 pounds of C4, 200 blasting caps, 25 targets and stands, 900 rounds of 5.56 ammunition, 2 An/PRC 119C's, a radio anttena amplifier, 5 M-16 A4's 5 boxes of MRE's and various other gear across mountainess terain filled with ditches and rocks the size of VW Bettles, in a normal car. Never seen a Civic do that.
2004-01-14 01:01:26 PM  
save yer money, $39.95 can get you a penis pump instead.
2004-01-14 01:02:13 PM  
Kymry Since you don't have an suv, what praytell do you spend all that extra cash on?
2004-01-14 01:04:17 PM  
2004-01-14 01:04:28 PM  
Yes. And you should be concerned with the price of tea in China.

/telling people what they should be concerned about is fun
2004-01-14 01:04:47 PM  

You have a need for an SUV: your business. Most people who own SUV's don't. Again, my parents own a huge house which they modeled and are always fixing it up, yet get by with a car. Paint cans can fit in a good size car's trunk as will all sorts of other things: a toilet, a small sink, lots and lots and lots of tile (I know, I've seen it done). Also, you can fit a damn lot of computers in a car, especially if you utilize the backseat. So, spare us the "I NEED IT, MOMMY!" ranting and go cry in your cheap coffee at the repressed homosexual cafe.
2004-01-14 01:05:11 PM  
2004-01-14 01:01:18 PM ironwindow

hummers are not totally useless. i would like to see you mount an M2-50cal to the top of a normal car and see how far you get. Plus try carrying 40 AT-4's, 5 people, a frequency jammer, 8 boxes of water, 100 pounds of C4, 200 blasting caps, 25 targets and stands, 900 rounds of 5.56 ammunition, 2 An/PRC 119C's, a radio anttena amplifier, 5 M-16 A4's 5 boxes of MRE's and various other gear across mountainess terain filled with ditches and rocks the size of VW Bettles, in a normal car. Never seen a Civic do that.
I don't think the average American is hauling any of this stuff...

Let's see... let's load up the AT-4's, some ammo, MRE's, etc. and drive to the park and play.
2004-01-14 01:06:24 PM  
Then again, the guy that has the amazon-sized menorrah on the roof of his car during the holidays could maybe use a hummer.
2004-01-14 01:06:48 PM  

I care about who has an SUV because I ended up under one in an accident when the driver forgot to step on his breaks. Oh, it doesn't end there, I was also pushed UNDER an SUV in another accident because the car behind me couldn't see infront of the Chevy Suburban that was ahead of me. I dislike SUV's with a passion because they're overused for no purpose. They're a hazard on the road- blinding people at night, flipping over, demolishing other cars, etc... If you don't need an SUV, then don't get one, buy a decent BMW for the same price.

But that's just my 2 cents. Get an SUV if you want it, but if you use it for hauling yourself to and from work 10 miles away, I'll call it a waste of money and resources.
2004-01-14 01:07:01 PM  
Chinese tea supports communism. Buy free-trade organic coffee and free Mumia!
2004-01-14 01:07:47 PM  
I didnt say the average american was carrying all that, i just said that hummers and SUVs arent totally useless...seems a lot of people think they are.
2004-01-14 01:08:40 PM  
maybe you're just buying too much crap there you go deciding what I need again.

Seriously, I have no desire to commute 90 miles/day in my pickup (though it does get 19mpg ((not too shabby for full-size and V8)), but I can't afford another car right now and I will always need the pickup. It even surprises me how many times I have it topped off with one thing or another. It has been more frequent lately because of building and remodelling projects at home, but even stuff like 50lb bags of dog food or mulch that would fit in a car trunk are much easier to get from a waist-high tailgate.

In the Summer, I try to commute by motorcycle as much as I can, but I am scared to death of those maniacs in their giant geo's.
2004-01-14 01:09:19 PM  
why don't people fuss at folks who own impractical cars that get equally bad gas mileage? exempli gratia: what if i drove a body-off retored '63 vette? (i do, btw) would i still incur the wrath of the birkenstock crowd?
2004-01-14 01:09:41 PM  
Good. Now be concerned with toe fungus and various treatment methods. Only after that may you be concerned with how people spend their money, grasshopper.
2004-01-14 01:10:59 PM  
I haven't bought anything i 'need'ed in years.

I -could- mill my own grain, make my own bread, dig my own well, build my own house, grow/raise my own food, sheer my own sheep, sew my own clothes, etc.

all i'd 'need' is some land with trees, 2 sheep, a dairy cow, a shovel, an axe... wait a minute... i don't even need that. i just need some metal, a forge, tongs, a bellows, some trees, and some farm animals.

... hell... all i really need is a tide pool a couple billion years of spare time.

or maybe i could concede that happiness and worth isn't universally defined through the efficiency of meeting the basic needs of life. and so long as people don't break any laws and pay for the 'waste' they make - i don't particularly care in what area of their life they choose to be eccentric.
2004-01-14 01:12:12 PM  
"big brown baby seal eyes for headlights"

Funniest thing I've read in this whole thread. Thank you, Howling Frog.
2004-01-14 01:12:40 PM  
Of course I'm concerned with how people spend their money. I'm a capitalist. If you're buying stupid, wasteful things then it farks up my economy and makes it dependent on Middle Eastern tyrants. Thanks a lot.
2004-01-14 01:13:50 PM  
Saw a guy in a shiny black H1 (the first Hummer), down at Home Depot the other day. It was the pickup-styled one, where it's got 4 doors, solid roof, and a small bed in the back.

They loaded a small pallet of bricks, cement and various home-improvement goods. And the guy was "don't scrape my paint"...

If you can afford that car ($100,000 plus) - why can't you afford to have your stuff delivered for $50?

On an interesting note, they dropped this huge amount of stuff on the truck and the suspension didn't drop a bit.

If I had the money, H1 for me. And I would use it to the full extend of its capabilities as often as possible. No highway-only crap...

I'll stick to my Jeep Wrangler and Land Rover Freelander for now. They see dirt all the time - I live on a dirt road.

(Before you whine about my daily drive hurting the planet with poor gas mileage - I WORK FROM HOME.)
2004-01-14 01:17:31 PM  
Are you aware of all the other stuff oil is used for? Stuff like plastics, synthetic fibers, etc. Assuming the computer you are typing on is not made of wood, you may want to reconsider placing blame for US Middle East dependance on SUV owners. How many PC's do you own by the way?
2004-01-14 01:18:29 PM  
By 'oil' above, I really mean pretroleum by-products, etc. I know plastic is not made of oil.
2004-01-14 01:18:45 PM  
only biatches drive H2's. step up to a H1 or buy a prius.
2004-01-14 01:18:51 PM  
If you can afford that car ($100,000 plus) - why can't you afford to have your stuff delivered for $50?

Hmm... an SUV owner using his SUV to actually haul cargo?

That's unpossible!
2004-01-14 01:20:02 PM  
my hummer's bigger than yours...

2004-01-14 01:21:15 PM  
2004-01-14 11:48:22 AM shirgall
If it wasn't for my Dodge Durango, I wouldn't have made it to work last week... and it cost half as much as the GM POS.

As a Durango owner, are you massively pissed off at those commercials with the wuss-ass wannabe who is soooo whipped by his ditzy blonde wife? I know I would never buy a vehicle advertised in such a manner.

I wish that people would have to have a different kind of license to drive something as big as a Hummer. Or, failing that, at least give them a brief physics lesson before giving them the keys. If you want to drive a big-ass vehicle, fine, just understand that it doesn't handle like a Civic 2-door.
2004-01-14 01:21:36 PM  
I have two friends who own the H2, and the last thing they'd ever, ever think of doing is hauling anything in their little babies. I mean, really, get dirt on the floor? Risk a scratch on the bumper? Puhleeze!

Believe me, they each own pickups for hauling and other dirty work. The Hummers are purely to show off their money. Never mind the fact that they won't fit into their reserved parking spaces in the ramp and they're constantly checking the things over for any door marks. And even that's a little show in itself in case anyone's watching.

2004-01-14 01:21:58 PM  
I just watched Jumperless' H2 video. What a piece of shiat!
Too big for the road and can't handle offroad. What good is that behemoth?
If you want to go offroad, go jeep.
2004-01-14 01:22:18 PM  

Just the one, and it's a laptop, so it doesn't use much oil. You're right, plastics and such do have an origin in oil, but gasoline is by far the largest use of oil by a longshot, because gas is used up quickly while plastics and fibers endure. Also, you never see people whining about the price of plastic. Gas prices, tho, are always news. We'll never be completely free of dependence on oil, but we can cut down on it and make our economy more stable and less at the mercy of OPEC and the like.
2004-01-14 01:22:42 PM  
Suetekh: Because your parents choose to look like idiots hauling stuff home from the Home depot in a car,doesn't mean we all do. I have a small 4wd pickup,that I use constantly for hauling stuff like drywall and wonderboard to one of my 3 houses. I buy junky lakefront cottages and totally rebuild them. I laugh every time I see some dummy carrying panelling home on the roof of his car,and trying to hold on to it while driving with the other. BTW,carrying crap like computers and cans of paint inside you car is more than foolish-in even a minor accident,this crap is going to fly around inside the car and smash you. Some of us DO need trucks. There is a blizzard going on outside right now,and It is good to have 2 4wds,as today my wife is going to drive the one to work,while I drive the other,and leave her car in the driveway. Anyway,off to the repressed Metrosexual cafe.Or whatever.
2004-01-14 01:22:52 PM  
original Hummers - as in the ones that looked just like the military models - but had slightly more comfortable seating put in? Those looked farking cool.

Don't belong on a domestic road, but looked farking cool.

And political theory isn't really on topic in a biatch and rant fest - but Democratic Capitalism has no association with Benevolent management - either intrinsically, or for the most part in practice. Dictatorships with a functioning ecconomy also rarely involve an iron fist. Benevolent dictatorships are indisputably the most successful political model the world has ever known, the problem is finding a dictator who's benevolent, and ensuring that his successor isn't a jackass - which is impossible, which is why there's so few examples of benevolent dictatorships - but why they almost exclusively involve obscenely weathly and contented populations.
2004-01-14 01:23:25 PM  
I care about who has an SUV because I ended up under one in an accident when the driver forgot to step on his breaks(SIC).
Did the SUV have some kind of memory erasing feature? Oh, it doesn't end there, I was also pushed UNDER an SUV in another accident because the car behind me couldn't see infront of the Chevy Suburban that was ahead of me. That is even lamer, blaming a car in front of you for being rear-ended. Gosh he must have hit every truck he ever got behind. Fact is, if you can't see around the car in front of you, you are too close. If you can't see around the car in front of that you are way too close.
2004-01-14 01:25:50 PM's thinking with my sausage that gets me in trouble sometimes ;) -

2004-01-14 01:26:24 PM  
I, for one, do not welcome my new kcm all knowing overlord.

Frankly, I prefer to make my own purchase decisions based on my needs and preferences. It's called freedom...what a concept, huh?
2004-01-14 01:26:41 PM  
My parents would just have most of the stuff delivered. Much cheaper than buying an SUV. But then they've always been smart like that: y'know, using math. I'm not saying ppl don't need SUV's: you clearly do. But most people don't. And you're damn right I can tell people what they do and do not need. I'm an American, I'm a self-righteous asshole, and I'm a Farker. This is what we do.
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