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(The Onion)   "Ariel Castro Failed By System"   (theonion.com ) divider line
    More: Satire, Ariel Castro, prison reform, legal system, rethinks, criminal justice system  
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7592 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Sep 2013 at 8:28 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-09-05 08:53:06 AM  
4 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-09-05 08:39:19 AM  
4 votes:

MycroftHolmes: Barfmaker: nekom: For satire, a lot of that actually isn't wrong.   Not that I give a shiat in this particular case mind you.

For some reason the story of Castro's death somehow compels people to mention that the outcome is fine by them. I saw it yesterday in the various threads here and last night I was out having a pint with friends and they all felt the need to conclude with that sentiment as well.

I have no opinion on it, but it's such a consistent reaction that I can't help but notice it.

It's like the people who always say 'I am against the death penalty, but in such and such a case, I feel it is justified'

What that actually means is that they are for the death penalty


You can support the idea of capital punishment in certain circumstances without supporting the way we administer it in the US.
2013-09-05 08:34:11 AM  
4 votes:

Barfmaker: nekom: For satire, a lot of that actually isn't wrong.   Not that I give a shiat in this particular case mind you.

For some reason the story of Castro's death somehow compels people to mention that the outcome is fine by them. I saw it yesterday in the various threads here and last night I was out having a pint with friends and they all felt the need to conclude with that sentiment as well.

I have no opinion on it, but it's such a consistent reaction that I can't help but notice it.


When you do something generally viewed as monstrous then people tend to dehumanized you. Once that happens, even people staunchly opposed to capital punishment tend to get dismissive about you just being dead.

It actually saddens me that he's dead. The guards fell down on their jobs. He should have had a nice long life behind bars where other prisoners could constantly make him feel just like he made those girls feel. He got off easy.
2013-09-05 08:51:00 AM  
3 votes:
One step towards a just society is the separation of revenge from punishment.

His punishment was to live the rest of his natural life in prison. Whether this was excessive is certainly up for debate. Could he have been rehabilitated? Could he have been forced to recompense the girls? Whatever the case, the final judgment was that he would live the rest of his life behind bars away from society.

What many want, though, is revenge for the horrors that he inflicted upon these women. Daily anal rape. Daily beatings. The death penalty by painful means. All of it is driven by the misguided concept of "victims' rights"; that there is something to be gained by forcing upon the monster the legal monstrosities and unlimited viciousness of government. This is satisfying but ultimately brutish and unbecoming of a society that believes itself enlightened and law-bound.

Castro took his life. In this way he has paid the ultimate price for his crime. Putting him in jail for the rest of his life is essentially the same as taking his life, the only question being the duration of the sentence. With Castro dead, justice is served, as that was the ultimate goal of his sentence.
2013-09-05 08:48:42 AM  
3 votes:
Thing about the Onion...society has gotten so crazy that it's difficult to satirize.
It's almost as though instead of satire being commentary, it's become a goal...to see if that level of herpitude-derpitude cray-cray can be reached.

Survey sez...
"You betcha!"


Dammit all to hell....
2013-09-05 10:07:54 AM  
2 votes:
Really, Onion? You guys don't get enough hate mail from stupid people already?

What's the over-under on some outraged right-winger quoting this as a real story? I give it two days.
2013-09-05 08:52:35 AM  
2 votes:
Aussie_As:
I'm anti death penalty but have no problem with suicides saving taxpayers big bucks. And I'm always horrified by those stories about innocent people getting locked up let alone raped, killed or suiciding but I don't think there's much doubt about Castro's guilt in this matter.

I'm anti death penalty as well, for a number of reasons, but I also feel that he got an easy out.  Not that there's much you can do to stop that.  What, suicide watch for life?  No bed sheet?  He could bang his head against the wall.  Padded walls?  He could bite his wrists and bleed out.  What then, restrain him forever?  As a practical matter, if someone is able bodied, desperate to die and doesn't mind suffering a little pain to do it, there's really not much you can do to stop it.
2013-09-05 08:43:51 AM  
2 votes:
GOOD! One less asshole on the planet!
2013-09-05 08:42:14 AM  
2 votes:

timswar: Barfmaker: nekom: For satire, a lot of that actually isn't wrong.   Not that I give a shiat in this particular case mind you.

For some reason the story of Castro's death somehow compels people to mention that the outcome is fine by them. I saw it yesterday in the various threads here and last night I was out having a pint with friends and they all felt the need to conclude with that sentiment as well.

I have no opinion on it, but it's such a consistent reaction that I can't help but notice it.

When you do something generally viewed as monstrous then people tend to dehumanized you. Once that happens, even people staunchly opposed to capital punishment tend to get dismissive about you just being dead.

It actually saddens me that he's dead. The guards fell down on their jobs. He should have had a nice long life behind bars where other prisoners could constantly make him feel just like he made those girls feel. He got off easy.


In a way I echo both of your sentiments.  It is kind of bittersweet that he couldn't have lived a few more years/decades behind bars just wishing he would die.  For what he did, he did get off way too easy.  It's probably one of those few times even Atheists would be cool with a concept of eternal damnation.
2013-09-05 08:42:09 AM  
2 votes:
I'm not sad that he's dead, but I am slightly pissed off about it. He ran up a huge bill, so to speak, then skipped out on it.
2013-09-05 12:32:17 PM  
1 vote:
Ariel Castro is to be admired for his independence and self reliance.

In an age when people are only too happy to suck the teat of government welfare he eschewed taking a handout. Most people are content to sit around on their lazy arse all day but not him! He could have cost the taxpayers millions by sitting in prison for years living a life of ease. Instead of waiting for the government to fix all his problems he took care of it himself.

Way to man up Ariel! Too bad more people aren't like you.
2013-09-05 12:01:35 PM  
1 vote:

Sharksfan: Barfmaker: I have no opinion on it, but it's such a consistent reaction that I can't help but notice it.

I'm anti-death penalty in the vast majority of cases.  If there isn't concrete physical evidence - and I mean clear video or something of that nature, or the fact that they found three girls in this guys house - I'm against it.  There's just too many instances where it has been applied incorrectly or unjustly.

In this case, I would have been in favor.


I'm of the opinion that a person, who has been found guilty for a life sentence, with complete confidence that they truly were guilty, should be given the option of either life in prison, or execution. Let them decide.

In addition, for those that choose to die over life in prison, make the execution as painless as possible, with no viewing of the execution by any parties not involved in the process, meaning no family members of the victim, etc. I don't think reopening old wounds by seeing the convicted again as they die will do anything but reopen old wounds, or cause anger at the convicted dying in a merciful manner. No matter what the convicted did, we should hold ourselves to higher standards, and should they choose death or life in prison, it should as painless as can be. In addition, no penalty or benefit can be offered to the convicted when they make their decision, based on that decision. Either life in jail, or death. No strings attached, no threats if they don't choose death or choose life, a simple choice. If they cannot decide at the moment, they may choose life in prison, but at a later point, should they decide they did want death after all, they can do so, and we will process it in a humane manner.

This would probably be the best choice for when it comes to the death penalty.
2013-09-05 11:34:19 AM  
1 vote:
The only way the system "failed" him is if he didn't go out with a tingling sphincter.
2013-09-05 09:43:01 AM  
1 vote:
There is a large difference between being put to death and allowing someone to take his own life.  I am 100% in favor of the latter, thus my complete lack of emotion over the news of Ariel Castro's passing.
2013-09-05 09:14:15 AM  
1 vote:
Satire?  Maybe.  Funny?  Definitely not.
2013-09-05 09:00:53 AM  
1 vote:
I think the important thing is that we've achieved just enough wrongs to make a right!
2013-09-05 08:46:19 AM  
1 vote:
It's a pretty bizarre Onion article. It is very subtle in its humour while being pretty aggressive in its satire. A good proportion of those sentences in the Onion piece could have fit in a real mainstream story about some guy who was eventually found to be innocent but who had killed himself in prison meanwhile.

I'm anti death penalty but have no problem with suicides saving taxpayers big bucks. And I'm always horrified by those stories about innocent people getting locked up let alone raped, killed or suiciding but I don't think there's much doubt about Castro's guilt in this matter.
2013-09-05 08:40:02 AM  
1 vote:
Sorry I don't read the Huffington Post .


/DRTFA
2013-09-05 08:37:00 AM  
1 vote:
Barfmaker:
For some reason the story of Castro's death somehow compels people to mention that the outcome is fine by them. I saw it yesterday in the various threads here and last night I was out having a pint with friends and they all felt the need to conclude with that sentiment as well.

I have no opinion on it, but it's such a consistent reaction that I can't help but notice it.


I think there's a certain threshold where a crime is just so heinous that one can't help but feel the son of a biatch got what he deserved.  If anyone has crossed that threshold, it's Castro.  Hell, he pole vaulted over that line.
 
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