THX 1138: by Terry Bisson, Omni, April 1991. Nominated for the Nebula Award.
durbnpoisn: At last I can agree with something someone from PETA says. I've often found the most ridiculous hypocrisy in those that say, "I don't eat meat, except fish." That makes you sound like an idiot. An idiot that is not aware of what fish are made of.
unchellmatt: "They are not swimming vegetables"Of course not. If they were, I wouldn't be deep frying the suckers.
mainsail: Yeah...but chicken is vegan, right?
a_feral_duck: Most cows are fed either grass or corn. Therefore whenever I have a steak I'm eating a vegan, which is close enough.
skozlaw: Grungehamster: I will say that's something that's always bugged me with the "fish can't feel pain" argument.That's not unique to fish, it's a stupid thing that a lot of people, including a good chunk of biologists, said about all animals at least into the 90s. For a very long time the position was that animals don't feel pain because there's no positive proof that animals feel pain. It was even a "fact" that was used to teach veterinarians to actually ignore discomfort in animals they were treating. It didn't really fall out of favor as a guiding idea until around 20 years ago when people started to think "gee, maybe the odds are a lot better that they do than they don't since they have, you know, nervous systems and display behaviors that appear to be very much like what we know to be human discomfort".
skozlaw: BetterMetalSnake: Why are vegans fine killing plants? A life is a life. What makes animal life so special that killing thousands of innocent broccoli can be done with some sort of moral superiority?Are you aware that vegetables are not conscious? That is one of several key differences that makes animals and plants fundamentally different things?/ okay... I'll grant you that there's a lot of evidence on the politics tab that suggests otherwise, but I promise you that despite appearances, those posters are not actually partially literate vegetables
unchellmatt: Of course not. If they were, I wouldn't be deep frying the suckers.
mrEdude: We'd eat the lawyer too if there was no fish.
NewWorldDan: unchellmatt: Of course not. If they were, I wouldn't be deep frying the suckers.Just about any vegetable can be battered and deep fried to deliciousness. Even deep fried tofu can be surprisingly tasty./I'm an omnivore, but a good friend of mine is the fattest vegan I've ever met.//which is to say, moderately overweight
genepool lifeboat: mrEdude: We'd eat the lawyer too if there was no fish.Empty calories.
for good or for awesome: It's OK to eat fish, cause they don't have any feelings
maddogdelta: Mr Popey sez that fish isn't meat, so its ok to eat on Fridays. And Mr. Popey can't make mistakes, he said so.
Lady Indica: When we see 'flailing' or any type of stimulus response, we assume there has to be thought or discomfort behind it...but there doesn't. (Hot potato). And in much less complex creatures they simply do not have the brain capacity or structure to experience a lot of what we do...on any level.
Aegius: Forget fish, are oysters meat? I suppose even thought they function on level much closer to a plant.
Grungehamster: I will say that's something that's always bugged me with the "fish can't feel pain" argument. Anyone who has ever caught a fish knows that it will fight and flail to get away with all it's strength, even if it's bleeding out and dying. That means they have to have some sort of rapid response system aimed at self preservation against dangerous stimuli. Sure it might not be experienced the same way as humans do, but "pain" has to exist in all animals to some degree simply because they have something driving them towards self-preservative behavior.
Deathfrogg: genepool lifeboat: mrEdude: We'd eat the lawyer too if there was no fish.Empty calories.And they cause dysentery.
Onkel Buck: ko_kyi: Meat is murder. Delicious, protein-packed murder.[i26.photobucket.com image 320x192][i26.photobucket.com image 320x192]/Murder steer approves
Tax Boy: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x251]
mod3072: unchellmatt: "They are not swimming vegetables"Of course not. If they were, I wouldn't be deep frying the suckers.Okra. Green beans. Dill pickles. Broccoli and cheese. Jalapeno poppers. All of these things are delicious when deep fried. You lose.
THX 1138: "They're made out of meat." "Meat?" "Meat. They're made out of meat." "Meat?" "There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat." "That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?" "They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines." "So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact." "They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines." "That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat." "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat." "Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage." "Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?" "Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside." "Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through." "No brain?" "Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you." "So ... what does the thinking?" "You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat." "Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!" "Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?" "Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat." "Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years." "Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?" "First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual." "We're supposed to talk to meat." "That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing." "They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?" "Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat." "I thought you just told me they used radio." "They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat." "Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?" "Officially or unofficially?" "Both." "Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing." "I was hoping you would say that." "It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?" "I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?" "Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact." "So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe." "That's it." "Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?" "They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them." "A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream." "And we marked the entire sector unoccupied." "Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?" "Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again." "They always come around." "And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."
KrispyKritter: mainsail: Yeah...but chicken is vegan, right?chicken: the other white meat?/ Chicken of the Sea - total confusion
stryed: mod3072: unchellmatt: "They are not swimming vegetables"Of course not. If they were, I wouldn't be deep frying the suckers.Okra. Green beans. Dill pickles. Broccoli and cheese. Jalapeno poppers. All of these things are delicious when deep fried. You lose.Wow, Okra, broccoli are one of the healthiest veggies available and you deep fry them? Here's are some tips:Brocs: stir fry with garlic and olive oil for 5-7mins, and add a lil bit of chinese oyster sauce (or soy sauce) and stir fry for another minute and then pretend you're a brontosaurus.Okra: just pop them in a slow boiled curry to add thickness.(okra is also really good for cholesterol if u leave chopped ones in a glass of water for a day in the fridge, and slurp the gooey thing for breakfast....My dad does that, I wouldn't)
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