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(CBS News)   When holding up a liquor store, make sure that the clerk isn't a 30-year army vet and former prison guard, who will put a gun to your mouth before you can even blink. w/vid   (cbsnews.com) divider line 131
    More: Scary, liquor stores, Springfield News-Leader, clerk, robbery  
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18457 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Sep 2013 at 2:24 AM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



131 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-05 06:50:15 AM

log_jammin: doglover: Freschel: Woh woh woh wait a minute $2.00 for a pack of cigarettes? $20 for a carton? 0_o Or did I misread those prices?

Not every state has retarded do gooders with vice tax.

which is why Missouri has the shiattiest roads in the country.


Guess you've never been to Michigan
 
2013-09-05 06:51:34 AM

abhorrent1: What he did was dangerous and he should be fired.


If he had a job, he probably wouldn't be out robbing liquor stores in the first place.
 
2013-09-05 06:56:57 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!


If he stayed in for 30, he's making roughly 3K a month retired pay.  If he's out in even semi-rural Missouri, he's doing just fine.

/The More You Know
 
2013-09-05 07:04:22 AM

AtlanticCoast63: AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!

If he stayed in for 30, he's making roughly 3K a month retired pay.  If he's out in even semi-rural Missouri, he's doing just fine.

/The More You Know


And, if it was federal prison, his years might add up on top of that toward his retirement (if it works like the post office does), not sure about that though.

Glad the old dude survived.
 
2013-09-05 07:29:25 AM

Terrible Old Man: Video looks kind of staged... And the guy was a hellova slow draw. He's lucky the robber was retarded or he'd have gotten shot.


The robber was probably drunk. Looks like he was keeping the guy fairly distracted but when he actually pulled his gun, he had it in the guys face really fast.
 
2013-09-05 07:30:44 AM

pedobearapproved: AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!

I think the lesson is more, if you stay in the military for 30 years you should acquire some rank or your retirement will be so low that you'll be working at a liquor store until social security kicks in.


Yup. Dad is retired military and retired postal service. Two federal retirements and benefits out the wazoo. Nice not having to worry about the folks as they age.
 
2013-09-05 07:39:31 AM
Nice butt on that news anchor.
 
2013-09-05 07:46:14 AM

Mattbastard: Nice butt on that news anchor.


Hell of a lisp, though.
 
2013-09-05 07:55:05 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Ignored "Quantum Apostrophe". If you want to completely hide ignored user comments, change the "Show header of ignored comments" option in your user profile.


And here I thought I wasn't going to get to ignore any complete idiots today.
 
2013-09-05 08:05:32 AM

erewhon: pedobearapproved: AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!

I think the lesson is more, if you stay in the military for 30 years you should acquire some rank or your retirement will be so low that you'll be working at a liquor store until social security kicks in.

Or get a position in something you can earn a nice living doing later. Like helo mechanic. It's not romantic but it pays well.


Or, ya know, do like that guy did, stay in for 30 years, retire on 75% pay and then do a second career as a prison guard before, ya know, working in a liquor store because yer bored.
 
2013-09-05 08:07:38 AM

JSam21: log_jammin: doglover: Freschel: Woh woh woh wait a minute $2.00 for a pack of cigarettes? $20 for a carton? 0_o Or did I misread those prices?

Not every state has retarded do gooders with vice tax.

which is why Missouri has the shiattiest roads in the country.

Guess you've never been to Michigan


Here, farking, here!
 
2013-09-05 08:11:23 AM

budrojr: Quantum Apostrophe: Ignored "Quantum Apostrophe". If you want to completely hide ignored user comments, change the "Show header of ignored comments" option in your user profile.

And here I thought I wasn't going to get to ignore any complete idiots today.


But your annoyance is my gain!  I didn't know the  If you want to completely hide ignored user comments option existed and his stupidity was still making its way onto my screen through people quoting him.

/hey mods, how about you do something useful and ban the threadshiatter?
 
2013-09-05 08:11:56 AM

AtlanticCoast63: AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!

If he stayed in for 30, he's making roughly 3K a month retired pay.  If he's out in even semi-rural Missouri, he's doing just fine.

/The More You Know


Marionville is full-rural.  They were known for their white squirrels, but I think they all died off.
 
2013-09-05 08:13:31 AM
If only the clerk had a gun this wouldn't have hap....oh wait, he did and it didn't!
 
2013-09-05 08:17:42 AM

Xploder: JSam21: log_jammin: doglover: Freschel: Woh woh woh wait a minute $2.00 for a pack of cigarettes? $20 for a carton? 0_o Or did I misread those prices?

Not every state has retarded do gooders with vice tax.

which is why Missouri has the shiattiest roads in the country.

Guess you've never been to Michigan

Here, farking, here!


I live in Missouri and visited michigan a lot. Michigan wins by far.
 
2013-09-05 08:18:13 AM
Pull
the
Trigger.
 
2013-09-05 08:23:34 AM
I wondered what Jack Reacher was doing these days. Guess now I know.
 
2013-09-05 08:25:53 AM

Clint_Torres: Jesus christ! I had to hunt down the video on youtube, after trying three different websites that wouldn't load or play the video.

Why yes, I do use Ghostery and NoScript.

/scummy websites are scummy


Go to LiveLeak.com for anything related to video ever
 
2013-09-05 08:27:38 AM
Thinks the HERO tag is more appropriate...
 
2013-09-05 08:32:21 AM
Once again for people who don't know:
*If you are close enough to touch someone with your gun....you are too Goddamn close!*

The robber being so close is what allowed the clerk to bat away his firearm and draw his own. But then *he* was too close so the robber should have been able to bat the clerks gun away and pull his back up. But then the robber would be too close and then you end up with this:
Gun fight!
 
2013-09-05 08:33:29 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!


No man should be ashamed of an honest days work
 
2013-09-05 08:35:22 AM

Crewmannumber6: AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!

No man should be ashamed of an honest days work


Dream big!
www.militaryaircraftposters.com
 
2013-09-05 08:37:31 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: gfid: Clearly the robber wasn't prepared to use his weapon and was just shocked that the cashier didn't just cower in fear while telling him to take the money.

Someone should start a training academy for criminals.

It's called the military. They pay you to get in shape and learn how to shoot guns. Pretty sweet deal for the motivated criminal.


Law Enforcement is even sweeter. Don't get sent overseas, don't sleep in a barracks, free reign to commit crimes and bully civilians = on the job training. Plus, free hookers and drugs from shaking down dealers. Win/win!
 
2013-09-05 08:40:33 AM

StrangeQ: budrojr: Quantum Apostrophe: Ignored "Quantum Apostrophe". If you want to completely hide ignored user comments, change the "Show header of ignored comments" option in your user profile.

And here I thought I wasn't going to get to ignore any complete idiots today.

But your annoyance is my gain!  I didn't know the  If you want to completely hide ignored user comments option existed and his stupidity was still making its way onto my screen through people quoting him.

/hey mods, how about you do something useful and ban the threadshiatter?


It seems kind of harsh to have a TOTAL moderator type ban on someone for being an idiot.  I believe we should all get to choose for ourselves how much hate we have for someone rather than have someone hate idiots for us by proxy.

/hate
 
2013-09-05 08:43:14 AM

theflatline: pedobearapproved: theflatline: HighZoolander: Cool video. ALSO, IT'S THE LOUDEST VIDEO I'VE SEEN ON THE INTERNET IN A LONG TIME.

No shiat but the tranny news reporter was entertaining.

No way, she looks like Bell's palsy Sasha Grey

Hahahaha, that would be a great porn plot.  Sasha has spinal nerve damage after taking one too many extra large peckers in the pooper.  I know what Bells Palsy is but, if Sasha were go to have damage if would be anally related.

Well, she could have torn a cheek muscle gagging a cock down.


Jesus christ thats farking dark.
 
2013-09-05 08:43:40 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Crewmannumber6: AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!

No man should be ashamed of an honest days work

Dream big!
[www.militaryaircraftposters.com image 276x350]


Sad.

/you, not him.
 
2013-09-05 08:44:33 AM
but but but I have been ASSURED by many "fark experts" that guns are pure evil and their only use is to kill people.

I am starting to suspect that maybe guns are tools that can come in handy.
 
2013-09-05 08:49:46 AM

SpectroBoy: but but but I have been ASSURED by many "fark experts" that guns are pure evil and their only use is to kill people.

I am starting to suspect that maybe guns are tools that can come in handy.


Then you went and read the stats that gun owners or their family members are significantly more likely to be the victim of their own gun vs. the remote chance that someday they may pull the hero stunt.
//ps I have two guns, they stay in a locked case with trigger locks on before you start in with lib/pussy banter
 
2013-09-05 08:54:34 AM

2xhelix: He's lucky the dude let him walk away.
[i.imgur.com image 500x227]


I'm surprised he let him go.  He was former military police.  Why didn't he tell him to get on the ground?  Letting him go seems like a bad call.  The dude could be waiting out there waiting for him when he got off work, etc.
 
2013-09-05 08:59:52 AM
What was that the clerk was carrying?  Looked like a Glock 27?  I may be seeing things, though.  I'm very fond of my Glock 27.
 
2013-09-05 08:59:53 AM
Shame the guy has to work such a low paying at times high risk job with the experience and obvious intelligence. Also, not a Glock, eww.
 
2013-09-05 09:05:05 AM

therealburkazoid: What was that the clerk was carrying?  Looked like a Glock 27?  I may be seeing things, though.  I'm very fond of my Glock 27.


Lower caliber means less clean up
 
2013-09-05 09:06:39 AM

twiztedjustin: Shame the guy has to work such a low paying at times high risk job with the experience and obvious intelligence. Also, not a Glock, eww.


Nothing wrong with the G27, or Glocks in general.  They kick like hell compared to some other handguns, but it's small (the G27) and is my conceal weapon, and incredibly low maintenance.  Plus, the price was right.
 
2013-09-05 09:08:18 AM
I would have avoided him because he looks like Begbie from Trainspotting.
 
2013-09-05 09:10:30 AM
Listen, guys. If I followed Fark's advise, I'd have to check half a million things every time I wanted to commit a crime. I understand the idea of "keeping your enemies closer", but sometimes you have to carpe diem.
 
2013-09-05 09:11:04 AM

Crewmannumber6: therealburkazoid: What was that the clerk was carrying?  Looked like a Glock 27?  I may be seeing things, though.  I'm very fond of my Glock 27.

Lower caliber means less clean up


Well, that's true.  Low enough caliber, and maybe there won't be an exit wound at all.  It just bounces around inside the skull until it pops out an eye or something.
 
2013-09-05 09:15:13 AM

wild9: Terrible Old Man: Video looks kind of staged... And the guy was a hellova slow draw. He's lucky the robber was retarded or he'd have gotten shot.

The robber was probably drunk. Looks like he was keeping the guy fairly distracted but when he actually pulled his gun, he had it in the guys face really fast.


If you watch what happened...   The clerk saw that the perp was pulling a gun, and made a move with his left hand to prevent him from lifting it.  THEN he pulled his own gun.

Looking at it that way, he was not slow on the draw at all.  He effectively disarmed the dude before arming himself.
 
2013-09-05 09:18:09 AM

abhorrent1: What he did was dangerous and he should be fired.


What you said was bad and you should feel bad.
 
2013-09-05 09:25:54 AM

KrispyKritter: AverageAmericanGuy: gfid: Clearly the robber wasn't prepared to use his weapon and was just shocked that the cashier didn't just cower in fear while telling him to take the money.

Someone should start a training academy for criminals.

It's called the military. They pay you to get in shape and learn how to shoot guns. Pretty sweet deal for the motivated criminal.

Law Enforcement is even sweeter. Don't get sent overseas, don't sleep in a barracks, free reign to commit crimes and bully civilians = on the job training. Plus, free hookers and drugs from shaking down dealers. Win/win!



0/0 asshole.
 
2013-09-05 09:29:41 AM
from the article:

"The Springfield News-Leader reports Marionville police told Alexander he was a lucky man. Alexander replied he thought the robber was even luckier."

Major balls on that clerk.  MAJOR balls.  It's amazing he's able to walk through the door.
 
2013-09-05 09:35:43 AM

therealburkazoid: What was that the clerk was carrying?  Looked like a Glock 27?  I may be seeing things, though.  I'm very fond of my Glock 27.


They're nice, but I'm not sure they really deserve the "it's the only one you'll ever need" reputation it enjoys.  My sister carried one when she was LEO but I think that was partially because it fit her small hands.  Although I think most of the department where she worked carried them as well. Personally I like Sigs better.  :shrug:
 
2013-09-05 09:44:05 AM
Where are all the crying libs saying that the store clerk is a gun toting nutjob?
 
2013-09-05 09:47:04 AM
I had to look up the video on another site.  I use NoScript, and that site had about twenty weasely little ad/tracking scripts.

Nice restraint shown by the store clerk.  Hope they catch the bad guy.
 
2013-09-05 09:50:12 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!


After 30 years of military service and more civil service as a CO, hes sitting on a nice pension and probably just chillin' out and not a slave to the system.

I have plenty of retiree friends that just work cheesy jobs for no stress and a little pocket money, their retirement pays all the bills.

Go be a dick somewhere else, cause you wont say it to him.
 
2013-09-05 09:50:55 AM

kortex: Where are all the crying libs saying that the store clerk is a gun toting nutjob?


In your imagination.
 
2013-09-05 09:51:57 AM

Ker_Thwap: I had to look up the video on another site.  I use NoScript, and that site had about twenty weasely little ad/tracking scripts.

Nice restraint shown by the store clerk.  Hope they catch the bad guy.


Mentholated for your pleasure.
 
2013-09-05 09:53:16 AM

technofiend: Ker_Thwap: I had to look up the video on another site.  I use NoScript, and that site had about twenty weasely little ad/tracking scripts.

Nice restraint shown by the store clerk.  Hope they catch the bad guy.

Mentholated for your pleasure.


Sigh. Why didn't I click on preview? Link goes to a gif that doesn't require adblockers, holy water or chick sacrifices.http://i.imgur.com/5Yedk2a.gif
 
2013-09-05 10:10:15 AM

Calehedron: AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!

After 30 years of military service and more civil service as a CO, hes sitting on a nice pension and probably just chillin' out and not a slave to the system.

I have plenty of retiree friends that just work cheesy jobs for no stress and a little pocket money, their retirement pays all the bills.

Go be a dick somewhere else, cause you wont say it to him.


Do you think I'm talking about or to this guy? This guy's done. I care more about deterring the kids who want to sign up out of some false sense of obligation, patriotism, or any of the other crap this culture wants to tell him are good reasons to serve corporate interests.

Sign up kids! If you live 30 years, you'll get to work in a prison and live off some pocket money from cheesy jobs. Doesn't that sound great?
 
2013-09-05 10:18:25 AM

Stepped_In_What: AtlanticCoast63: AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!

If he stayed in for 30, he's making roughly 3K a month retired pay.  If he's out in even semi-rural Missouri, he's doing just fine.

/The More You Know

Marionville is full-rural.  They were known for their white squirrels, but I think they all died off. ended up as dinner.



FTFY
 
2013-09-05 10:18:37 AM
When I got out of the Military, as an ex military policeman, I went back to college. You would be surprised at how many kids tried to mug me stumbling back from a bar late at night, in an alleyway.
I got a nice collection of buck knives, mostly the 110 model out of it. A shoebox full of them.
 
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