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(CBS News)   When holding up a liquor store, make sure that the clerk isn't a 30-year army vet and former prison guard, who will put a gun to your mouth before you can even blink. w/vid   (cbsnews.com) divider line 132
    More: Scary, liquor stores, Springfield News-Leader, clerk, robbery  
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18438 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Sep 2013 at 2:24 AM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



132 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-09-05 12:08:16 AM
When I was a teenager a friend's younger brother decided to take a shotgun and rob a liquor store.  One that was 1/4 mile away.  That he'd been going to all his life.  And he didn't wear a mask.

Cops were waiting at his house when he got home, off he went for a couple years.

/ he's one of the laziest, scummiest people I've ever met
// His older brother and younger sister are awesome people
 
2013-09-05 12:40:32 AM
He's lucky the dude let him walk away.
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-05 01:02:18 AM
Still laughing. The point where the would be robber looks down at the gun is too farking funny.
 
2013-09-05 01:34:48 AM
thebeardedidealist.com
 
2013-09-05 02:28:01 AM
Another responsible--- oh, wait, he is.
 
2013-09-05 02:30:57 AM
That was almost a snuff film.

And how did they not catch the robber, there had to be a trail of urine and feces following him right out the door.
 
2013-09-05 02:32:38 AM
Cool video. ALSO, IT'S THE LOUDEST VIDEO I'VE SEEN ON THE INTERNET IN A LONG TIME.
 
2013-09-05 02:32:57 AM
Submitted same story over 24 hours ago, with a headline I liked better but I am being biased.
 
2013-09-05 02:34:13 AM

Snotnose: When I was a teenager a friend's younger brother decided to take a shotgun and rob a liquor store.  One that was 1/4 mile away.  That he'd been going to all his life.  And he didn't wear a mask.

Cops were waiting at his house when he got home, off he went for a couple years.

/ he's one of the laziest, scummiest people I've ever met
// His older brother and younger sister are awesome people


i3.ytimg.com
 
2013-09-05 02:34:49 AM

HighZoolander: Cool video. ALSO, IT'S THE LOUDEST VIDEO I'VE SEEN ON THE INTERNET IN A LONG TIME.


No shiat but the tranny news reporter was entertaining.
 
2013-09-05 02:42:59 AM
fun video, but did we have to get it interjected with an annoying local news biatch every 5 seconds?
 
2013-09-05 02:43:36 AM

theflatline: HighZoolander: Cool video. ALSO, IT'S THE LOUDEST VIDEO I'VE SEEN ON THE INTERNET IN A LONG TIME.

No shiat but the tranny news reporter was entertaining.


No way, she looks like Bell's palsy Sasha Grey
 
2013-09-05 02:46:42 AM

Snotnose: When I was a teenager a friend's younger brother decided to take a shotgun and rob a liquor store.  One that was 1/4 mile away.  That he'd been going to all his life.  And he didn't wear a mask.

Cops were waiting at his house when he got home, off he went for a couple years.

/ he's one of the laziest, scummiest people I've ever met
// His older brother and younger sister are awesome people


jerseychaser.com
Raymond is that you?
Nah man this aint Raymond
 
2013-09-05 02:47:16 AM

fusillade762: Another responsible--- oh, wait, he is.


Actually, he is.
 
2013-09-05 02:47:58 AM

pedobearapproved: theflatline: HighZoolander: Cool video. ALSO, IT'S THE LOUDEST VIDEO I'VE SEEN ON THE INTERNET IN A LONG TIME.

No shiat but the tranny news reporter was entertaining.

No way, she looks like Bell's palsy Sasha Grey


Hahahaha, that would be a great porn plot.  Sasha has spinal nerve damage after taking one too many extra large peckers in the pooper.  I know what Bells Palsy is but, if Sasha were go to have damage if would be anally related.

Well, she could have torn a cheek muscle gagging a cock down.
 
2013-09-05 02:48:03 AM
FTFA: Jon Lewis Alexander was reportedly working at a liquor store Sunday night...

Well, was he or wasn't he??
 
2013-09-05 03:01:15 AM
A lady friend of mine DID shoot the bad guy.
Some punk kids came in to the store snatching and grabbing.
One of them made the mistake of trying to climb over the counter.
38 special Rossi took out his colon.
We call her "Dirty Harriet"
 
2013-09-05 03:04:32 AM

Badafuco: FTFA: Jon Lewis Alexander was reportedly working at a liquor store Sunday night...

Well, was he or wasn't he??


Don't criticize. It's a perfectly cromulent word to use.
 
2013-09-05 03:07:45 AM
Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!
 
2013-09-05 03:18:09 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!


Is that a lot different than a humanities major?

/former NCO, nice MIC job doing RF design
 
2013-09-05 03:21:56 AM

erewhon: AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!

Is that a lot different than a humanities major?

/former NCO, nice MIC job doing RF design


Humanity majors get to work in food service. None of this low-rent, high-danger liquor store crap.
 
2013-09-05 03:22:34 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!


I think the lesson is more, if you stay in the military for 30 years you should acquire some rank or your retirement will be so low that you'll be working at a liquor store until social security kicks in.
 
2013-09-05 03:34:58 AM
I'm glad that worked out, the clerk wasn't exactly a quick draw once he pushed the robber's arm away.
 
2013-09-05 03:44:13 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!


We have a "retired" vet working at our local grocery store.  It's not that he really needs the money he just likes the extra income to visit/spoil grandkids and to fund a monthly trip to Wendover.
 
2013-09-05 03:57:01 AM
Woh woh woh wait a minute $2.00 for a pack of cigarettes? $20 for a carton? 0_o Or did I misread those prices?
 
2013-09-05 04:09:15 AM

theflatline: HighZoolander: Cool video. ALSO, IT'S THE LOUDEST VIDEO I'VE SEEN ON THE INTERNET IN A LONG TIME.

No shiat but the tranny news reporter was entertaining.


When they had the BEER:30 sign in the background of the news room, with no explanation for 30 seconds, I thought maybe they were going to start a timer for a drinking game.  Also entertaining.
 
2013-09-05 04:36:25 AM

Freschel: Woh woh woh wait a minute $2.00 for a pack of cigarettes? $20 for a carton? 0_o Or did I misread those prices?


25.media.tumblr.com

Decade cigarettes....like smokin' a chicken bone
 
2013-09-05 04:40:54 AM

Freschel: Woh woh woh wait a minute $2.00 for a pack of cigarettes? $20 for a carton? 0_o Or did I misread those prices?


Not every state has retarded do gooders with vice tax.
 
2013-09-05 04:47:23 AM
Video looks kind of staged... And the guy was a hellova slow draw. He's lucky the robber was retarded or he'd have gotten shot.
 
2013-09-05 04:52:03 AM

theflatline: HighZoolander: Cool video. ALSO, IT'S THE LOUDEST VIDEO I'VE SEEN ON THE INTERNET IN A LONG TIME.

No shiat but the tranny news reporter was entertaining.


The one at the beginning?
That was Deb, Dexter's sister.

That cop clerk sure took an extra second of fumbling to get his firearm unholstered, bet he's wincing watching that back.
 
2013-09-05 05:02:49 AM

Terrible Old Man: Video looks kind of staged... And the guy was a hellova slow draw. He's lucky the robber was retarded or he'd have gotten shot.


Robbers don't usually use their guns to shoot people. They use them to intimidate their victims. A simple robbery turning into an homicide is the last thing they want.

The robber is lucky the clerk didn't shoot back, but the he was never intent on doing anything with that gun other than brandishing it.
 
2013-09-05 05:12:24 AM
Clearly the robber wasn't prepared to use his weapon and was just shocked that the cashier didn't just cower in fear while telling him to take the money.

Someone should start a training academy for criminals.
 
2013-09-05 05:13:39 AM

gfid: Clearly the robber wasn't prepared to use his weapon and was just shocked that the cashier didn't just cower in fear while telling him to take the money.

Someone should start a training academy for criminals.


It's called the military. They pay you to get in shape and learn how to shoot guns. Pretty sweet deal for the motivated criminal.
 
2013-09-05 05:24:43 AM
My first thought about the news woman: Why the long face?
My second though (after reading): "Alexander replied he thought the robber was even luckier." - Big hairy brass ones.
 
2013-09-05 05:28:51 AM

gfid: Clearly the robber wasn't prepared to use his weapon and was just shocked that the cashier didn't just cower in fear while telling him to take the money.

Someone should start a training academy for criminals.


Full facial exposure while committing a robbery/murder is probably going to be first day of class. Second day it probably going to be standing out of reach of the person you're robbing.
 
2013-09-05 05:30:24 AM

Snotnose: When I was a teenager a friend's younger brother decided to take a shotgun and rob a liquor store.  One that was 1/4 mile away.  That he'd been going to all his life.  And he didn't wear a mask.

Cops were waiting at his house when he got home, off he went for a couple years.

/ he's one of the laziest, scummiest people I've ever met
// His older brother and younger sister are awesome people


When I was in college, a tall athletic kid who used to be a basketball star in my inner city catholic high school held up a small corner store. He got the money and made it about 10 steps down the street before the owner shot him several times in the back. He never went home again.
 
2013-09-05 05:41:03 AM
Jesus christ! I had to hunt down the video on youtube, after trying three different websites that wouldn't load or play the video.

Why yes, I do use Ghostery and NoScript.

/scummy websites are scummy
 
2013-09-05 06:01:02 AM

friedlinx: Freschel: Woh woh woh wait a minute $2.00 for a pack of cigarettes? $20 for a carton? 0_o Or did I misread those prices?



Decade cigarettes....like smokin' a chicken bone


They aren't that bad...
 
2013-09-05 06:02:55 AM

pedobearapproved: AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!

I think the lesson is more, if you stay in the military for 30 years you should acquire some rank or your retirement will be so low that you'll be working at a liquor store until social security kicks in.


Or get a position in something you can earn a nice living doing later. Like helo mechanic. It's not romantic but it pays well.
 
2013-09-05 06:03:34 AM
he didn't have the juice
 
2013-09-05 06:06:17 AM

doglover: Freschel: Woh woh woh wait a minute $2.00 for a pack of cigarettes? $20 for a carton? 0_o Or did I misread those prices?

Not every state has retarded do gooders with vice tax.


which is why Missouri has the shiattiest roads in the country.
 
2013-09-05 06:06:42 AM

fusillade762: Another responsible--- oh, wait, he is.


Yup, one guy with 30 years of military training who prevented the loss of a few dollars is totally worth the collateral damage that is your feudal Mad Max-style society.

Emotional argument and the beer is safe for another day. USA USA USA
 
2013-09-05 06:08:06 AM

pedobearapproved: AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!

I think the lesson is more, if you stay in the military for 30 years you should acquire some rank or your retirement will be so low that you'll be working at a liquor store until social security kicks in.


My dad is a retired Colonel with 29 years.  He works as a teacher's aide in the mornings, and part time at a gun store afternoons and evenings because he realized that he was bored sitting around the house at 51, not because he needed the money.  And the guy in the video might be the owner of the store, or just enjoys getting free/discounted booze.
 
2013-09-05 06:09:12 AM
Should have pulled the trigger.
 
2013-09-05 06:10:12 AM

log_jammin: doglover: Freschel: Woh woh woh wait a minute $2.00 for a pack of cigarettes? $20 for a carton? 0_o Or did I misread those prices?

Not every state has retarded do gooders with vice tax.

which is why Missouri has the shiattiest roads in the country.


Only if you have one of them queer yankee cars.

i232.photobucket.com


YeeeeeeeeeeHAW!
 
2013-09-05 06:12:12 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: your feudal Mad Max-style society.


when you can't win with facts, go for hyperbole.
 
2013-09-05 06:21:12 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: gfid: Clearly the robber wasn't prepared to use his weapon and was just shocked that the cashier didn't just cower in fear while telling him to take the money.

Someone should start a training academy for criminals.

It's called the military. They pay you to get in shape and learn how to shoot guns. Pretty sweet deal for the motivated criminal.


They also teach you how to make your bed and shine your shoes, skills which in the criminal underworld could be the difference between being a petty thief and an organized crime Boss.
 
2013-09-05 06:25:53 AM

erewhon: pedobearapproved: AverageAmericanGuy: Hey kids. Thinking of joining the military? 30 years of service and when you get out you'll be trained to run the register at a liquor shop. Sign up today!

I think the lesson is more, if you stay in the military for 30 years you should acquire some rank or your retirement will be so low that you'll be working at a liquor store until social security kicks in.

Or get a position in something you can earn a nice living doing later. Like helo mechanic. It's not romantic but it pays well.


Did it ever occur to any of you people that he might have a good pension but works part time just to have something to do?  Christ, my dad is 67, he just retired, and he doesn't know what to do with himself.  He's taking computer classes at the community college just to have something to do, but I suspect he's going to start working at his golf course pretty soon.
 
2013-09-05 06:27:07 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: fusillade762: Another responsible--- oh, wait, he is.

Yup, one guy with 30 years of military training who prevented the loss of a few dollars is totally worth the collateral damage that is your feudal Mad Max-style society.

Emotional argument and the beer is safe for another day. USA USA USA


meh. 2/10 - mostly since you read out like a little biatch.
 
2013-09-05 06:43:18 AM
What he did was dangerous and he should be fired.
 
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