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(Telegraph)   If you're a man on a first date, you could do what most men do and pay for your date's drinks. Or you could do what this guy did and steal her phone after she shows up without any money   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 153
    More: Strange, cell phones, St. Martin, Helen Thomas  
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6697 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Sep 2013 at 10:02 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-04 05:17:44 PM
How did the 2nd date go?
 
2013-09-04 08:40:36 PM
So I guess a blowjob is out of the question?
 
2013-09-04 09:01:24 PM
Showing up for the first date without money is a bad plan, ladies. You should at least have cab fare to escape.
 
2013-09-04 10:04:03 PM
It was a Blackberry?

I'd rather just pay for the drinks.
 
2013-09-04 10:04:45 PM
Well it was a blackberry.  Not like it was really worth anything.
 
2013-09-04 10:05:18 PM
I've been on scores of first dates over the past few years and I've paid for the whole thing probably 90% of the time. (I mean, it's my own fault, since I'm always like, "nah, I've got it.")

I mean, chivalry. Amirite?
 
2013-09-04 10:07:33 PM
1) WTF dude.
2) 54 pounds for two rounds of drinks?!?
3) Kind of presumptuous to expect the guy to pay for everything on a first date that was set up online
4) Terrible idea to go anywhere without cash.  For anybody.  You don't know when you might be in an emergency situation and need to get away.
 
2013-09-04 10:08:02 PM

Moonraper: I've been on scores of first dates over the past few years and I've paid for the whole thing probably 90% of the time. (I mean, it's my own fault, since I'm always like, "nah, I've got it.")

I mean, chivalry. Amirite?


I was figuring that you were batting about .900 on dating people that you wanted to pork afterwards. But chivalry works, too. I guess.
 
2013-09-04 10:09:39 PM

doglover: Showing up for the first date without money is a bad plan, ladies. You should at least have cab fare to escape.


She had a tube pass. She had money too just didn't want to give it up among other things wink, wink.
 
2013-09-04 10:09:40 PM
I almost always pay the whole thing, not because "It's the manly thing to do" but because I am a nice person and it's my way of saying "hey thanks for accepting my invitation to go out with me, woohoo" However, I do expect to be at least thanked for it. I went on a date the other week and the girl did not even react when I paid, not even a thanks. My interest in her dropped about 50% immediately. If you show up and expect everything will be taken care of, then you're not interested in a date, you're interested in a free meal.
 
2013-09-04 10:10:47 PM
Sounds like crazy from online dating.  Always keep money for the escape.
 
2013-09-04 10:12:10 PM
If she didn't have any money, what was she planning on doing at the public transport station?

Sooo not getting laid
 
2013-09-04 10:15:59 PM
I always offer to split the check. If she's not interested, I tell her I'm not that kind of guy and won't feel obligated to put out because some presumptuous biatch pays for me. Sometimes I'll dump water on her lap and walk out. Usually, I finish my beer then excuse myself to the restroom and never come back.
 
2013-09-04 10:16:42 PM
If he had kept his cool, he could have put the chick in the hot water he deserved. Instead he kicked himself in the balls.

Just walk up to the cashier, pay for your own stuff and inform them that the lady says she has no money so there will be a problem that isn't yours. Let the shiat hit the fan knowing your legally in the clear.
 
2013-09-04 10:16:58 PM
Paying for a woman on the first date is stupid. Period. She's under no obligation to give you anything in return and it's not manly to do so. Paying for a date is like telling a woman "you're better than me, so I should pay you simply for your company and not to have sex with me." If you're both mature adults, you'll presumably have the same objectives and can pay for your own food.
 
2013-09-04 10:17:36 PM

balki1867: 2) 54 pounds for two rounds of drinks?!?


Well, at an upscale place, 13.50 for a drink isn't unheard of. But it's usually one of those snooty, hipster places.
 
2013-09-04 10:18:52 PM

balki1867: 1) WTF dude.
2) 54 pounds for two rounds of drinks?!?
3) Kind of presumptuous to expect the guy to pay for everything on a first date that was set up online
4) Terrible idea to go anywhere without cash.  For anybody.  You don't know when you might be in an emergency situation and need to get away.



According to my quick interweb search, 54 pounds equals about $84. Ouch. That seems like a lot to lay down just for 2 rounds of drinks.

Of course, starting a date with booze, with someone you don't know and met over the internet, doesn't seem like such a good idea to me. Maybe a little better to meet for coffee somewhere.
 
2013-09-04 10:20:36 PM
I usually pay on the first date. Women I've seen multiple times usually offer to split and have almost always paid for a second date.
 
2013-09-04 10:20:57 PM
farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2013-09-04 10:21:09 PM

ZzeusS: If she didn't have any money, what was she planning on doing at the public transport station?


When a female says they don't have money, it doesn't actually mean they don't have money. It just means that they aren't planning on using their own money.
 
2013-09-04 10:22:25 PM

Moonraper: I've been on scores of first dates over the past few years and I've paid for the whole thing probably 90% of the time. (I mean, it's my own fault, since I'm always like, "nah, I've got it.")

I mean, chivalry. Amirite?


From a person w/your handle... priceless. What happens when you say "you're paying for this, baby"
 
2013-09-04 10:23:18 PM
I would have they'd have hit it off what with them both being jerks and all.
 
2013-09-04 10:23:52 PM

zzrhardy: ZzeusS: If she didn't have any money, what was she planning on doing at the public transport station?

When a female says they don't have money, it doesn't actually mean they don't have money. It just means that they aren't planning on using their own money.


farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2013-09-04 10:26:17 PM
Poor form from both of them.
 
2013-09-04 10:26:37 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: I always offer to split the check. If she's not interested, I tell her I'm not that kind of guy and won't feel obligated to put out because some presumptuous biatch pays for me. Sometimes I'll dump water on her lap and walk out. Usually, I finish my beer then excuse myself to the restroom and never come back.


I'd like to open up a restaurant where there's a ladies menu, and the prices are in sex. Like, appetizer...boob squeeze
chicken tortellini...make out sesh
pasta fajiole...bj in the parking lot
filet...boning with condom
all plus dessert...buttsex
 
2013-09-04 10:27:04 PM
Back in my dating days, I was always prepared to pay for half.  If the guy insisted, I'd at least leave the tip.  I think that's only fair.  I'm guessing the lady in the story had cash, but she just wasn't going to pay.  Maybe that's an expectation he should have put out there.
 
2013-09-04 10:27:19 PM

zzrhardy: ZzeusS: If she didn't have any money, what was she planning on doing at the public transport station?

When a female says they don't have money, it doesn't actually mean they don't have money. It just means that they aren't planning on using their own money.



Wanna earn $20 the hard way?

/might as well flame out in style
 
2013-09-04 10:27:28 PM
Yet another instance where having only a "tube pass" was severely misinterpreted. You guys might have well have called it the Pussy Express.
 
2013-09-04 10:30:56 PM
Aaaaaand thats why they are both single.
 
2013-09-04 10:32:09 PM

Bedstead Polisher: Poor form from both of them.


How did I read that as "Pon farr for both of them"?

/dives for cover
 
2013-09-04 10:32:30 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: AverageAmericanGuy: I always offer to split the check. If she's not interested, I tell her I'm not that kind of guy and won't feel obligated to put out because some presumptuous biatch pays for me. Sometimes I'll dump water on her lap and walk out. Usually, I finish my beer then excuse myself to the restroom and never come back.

I'd like to open up a restaurant where there's a ladies menu, and the prices are in sex. Like, appetizer...boob squeeze
chicken tortellini...make out sesh
pasta fajiole...bj in the parking lot
filet...boning with condom
all plus dessert...buttsex


I like going on a date knowing that he's not there for the company, just for the possibility that I will be a warm hole for his use later in the evening. You should print and sell guidebooks so women know what is expected of them.
 
2013-09-04 10:33:10 PM
Is it so hard to say "split the bill?" when ordering?

Or offer to cover it before ordering if that is your strategy.  Some girls like chivalry, some find it too old fashioned.

/the ones who like chivalry are high maintenance.  The ones who don't aren't.
//some guys like high maintenance; you get what you pay for...
 
2013-09-04 10:33:37 PM
Isn't the girl having no money implied consent? Kind of a "There's no toll booth on this love tunnel." thing. She was probably ready to just go straight to a hotel after drinks. This was a sure chance to dip his wick, as long as he didn't do something stupid like wig out steal her phone.

Some people just don't take hints.
 
2013-09-04 10:34:43 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: AverageAmericanGuy: I always offer to split the check. If she's not interested, I tell her I'm not that kind of guy and won't feel obligated to put out because some presumptuous biatch pays for me. Sometimes I'll dump water on her lap and walk out. Usually, I finish my beer then excuse myself to the restroom and never come back.

I'd like to open up a restaurant where there's a ladies menu, and the prices are in sex. Like, appetizer...boob squeeze
chicken tortellini...make out sesh
pasta fajiole...bj in the parking lot
filet...boning with condom
all plus dessert...buttsex


Taking dates out and paying for dinner or a show (theater or concert) always seemed an awful lot like prostitution + gambling. Kind of in the same way those truck stop slot machines that pay out in phone cards are real gambling.
Once you figure out the system you might get something decent.
Dinner? A show? Both? And you brought her flowers? Pick your minimum bid and see what ya win. Could be a handy j, could be some good old fashioned boot knocking, or maybe you just get to hold hands and a kiss goodnight when you part.
 
2013-09-04 10:35:50 PM
If you want a girl to pay half, date the liberal types I do. They'll offer 90% of the time. If you want to get stuck with the bill, date the princess types that believe they're special and it's the man's job to impress them.
 
2013-09-04 10:35:58 PM

Bedstead Polisher: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: AverageAmericanGuy: I always offer to split the check. If she's not interested, I tell her I'm not that kind of guy and won't feel obligated to put out because some presumptuous biatch pays for me. Sometimes I'll dump water on her lap and walk out. Usually, I finish my beer then excuse myself to the restroom and never come back.

I'd like to open up a restaurant where there's a ladies menu, and the prices are in sex. Like, appetizer...boob squeeze
chicken tortellini...make out sesh
pasta fajiole...bj in the parking lot
filet...boning with condom
all plus dessert...buttsex

I like going on a date knowing that he's not there for the company, just for the possibility that I will be a warm hole for his use later in the evening. You should print and sell guidebooks so women know what is expected of them.


No one's on a date for the company. That's why he bases his meal selection on what's least likely to give him the shiats two hours later when he hopes to be 4.5" deep in some gash.
 
2013-09-04 10:37:26 PM

Bedstead Polisher: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: AverageAmericanGuy: I always offer to split the check. If she's not interested, I tell her I'm not that kind of guy and won't feel obligated to put out because some presumptuous biatch pays for me. Sometimes I'll dump water on her lap and walk out. Usually, I finish my beer then excuse myself to the restroom and never come back.

I'd like to open up a restaurant where there's a ladies menu, and the prices are in sex. Like, appetizer...boob squeeze
chicken tortellini...make out sesh
pasta fajiole...bj in the parking lot
filet...boning with condom
all plus dessert...buttsex

I like going on a date knowing that he's not there for the company, just for the possibility that I will be a warm hole for his use later in the evening. You should print and sell guidebooks so women know what is expected of them.


Except with you, I mean. Guys date you for the conversation.
 
2013-09-04 10:39:27 PM

Moonraper: I've been on scores of first dates over the past few years and I've paid for the whole thing probably 90% of the time. (I mean, it's my own fault, since I'm always like, "nah, I've got it.")


You're only contributing to the oppressive chauvinistic patriarchy when you do that. It's offensive to today's modern woman to take her out to dinner.

If we want to eliminate misogyny once and for all, we must recognize the rights of feminism and gender equality.

So tell the biatch to pay for her own damn drinks.
 
2013-09-04 10:40:24 PM
I tell them to get whatever they want because I got this. I'll get an appetizer, 2nd most expensive thing on the menu to test her to make sure she won't get the most expensive item, then usually a desert to share . Then proceed to go to the restroom and walk out the take out door at the back. Nothing keeps em coming back like sticking them with that $30 bill at chili's
 
2013-09-04 10:41:52 PM

there their theyre: I tell them to get whatever they want because I got this. I'll get an appetizer, 2nd most expensive thing on the menu to test her to make sure she won't get the most expensive item, then usually a desert to share . Then proceed to go to the restroom and walk out the take out door at the back. Nothing keeps em coming back like sticking them with that $30 bill at chili's


You know, with the whole ladies love douchebags thing, that might be a disturbingly effective dating strategy..
 
2013-09-04 10:43:26 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Bedstead Polisher: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: AverageAmericanGuy: I always offer to split the check. If she's not interested, I tell her I'm not that kind of guy and won't feel obligated to put out because some presumptuous biatch pays for me. Sometimes I'll dump water on her lap and walk out. Usually, I finish my beer then excuse myself to the restroom and never come back.

I'd like to open up a restaurant where there's a ladies menu, and the prices are in sex. Like, appetizer...boob squeeze
chicken tortellini...make out sesh
pasta fajiole...bj in the parking lot
filet...boning with condom
all plus dessert...buttsex

I like going on a date knowing that he's not there for the company, just for the possibility that I will be a warm hole for his use later in the evening. You should print and sell guidebooks so women know what is expected of them.

Except with you, I mean. Guys date you for the conversation.


Oh good. I was worried for a second there!
 
2013-09-04 10:44:21 PM
That is God-level game.  She'll come running back.
 
2013-09-04 10:45:01 PM

MayoSlather: If you want a girl to pay half, date the liberal types I do. They'll offer 90% of the time. If you want to get stuck with the bill, date the princess types that believe they're special and it's the man's job to impress them.


Maybe, but you always end up paying later with those liberal types with VD meds or some type of itch.
 
2013-09-04 10:47:00 PM

FrancoFile: So I guess a blowjob is out of the question?


Well, if she really wanted the phone back...

/ but considering it was a BB, maybe a handjob would do
 
2013-09-04 10:48:00 PM
84 bucks (converted) for two rounds?  What were they drinking?
 
2013-09-04 10:50:21 PM
These courtship rituals are so confusing. I'm sure glad I'm married. If I ever want sex, there's really no confusion over what I should or shouldn't be doing. The answer is always "no", so there's never any misunderstanding.
 
2013-09-04 10:50:34 PM
That's a dick move that he, no doubt, is getting laid for.  Women love assholes.
 
2013-09-04 10:50:48 PM

KimNorth: MayoSlather: If you want a girl to pay half, date the liberal types I do. They'll offer 90% of the time. If you want to get stuck with the bill, date the princess types that believe they're special and it's the man's job to impress them.

Maybe, but you always end up paying later with those liberal types with VD meds or some type of itch.


That's why I request a bank statement, credit report, and STD test results before sitting down for a first date dinner
 
2013-09-04 10:51:19 PM
"This case is about a first date that goes very badly wrong moist,' said prosecutor Helen Thomas.
 
2013-09-04 10:53:17 PM

Pumpernickel bread: 84 bucks (converted) for two rounds?  What were they drinking?


Sounds like she's a bargirl and this is the champagne routine right?
 
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