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(Dorkly)   No callback for an interview? Weird, I was sure that the My Little Pony resume I submitted would really impress them   (dorkly.com) divider line 207
    More: Strange  
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15211 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Sep 2013 at 1:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-04 10:28:09 AM  
That is...uniquely awful.

Probably fake, too.
 
2013-09-04 10:46:52 AM  
why are some of the pony's markings redacted, but others aren't?
 
2013-09-04 12:10:42 PM  
This may actually be a good strategy for staying on unemployment.
 
2013-09-04 12:16:45 PM  

WordyGrrl: This may actually be a good strategy for staying on unemployment.


Sh*t, it's a good strategy for applying for mental disability welfare (SSDI).
 
2013-09-04 12:21:49 PM  
I would hire this bronie if he were real.
 
2013-09-04 12:23:18 PM  
This is not real. It can't be.
 
2013-09-04 12:28:45 PM  
"People's Exhibit 'A'"
 
2013-09-04 12:45:57 PM  
I was sure that the My Li-


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-04 12:52:05 PM  

Apos: I was sure that the My Li-


[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]


You post that in every MLP thread, it seems... when are you gonna learn it will never be safe to come out of the bushes again?

/MLP's a pretty decent cartoon, but the fandom... well, it's like how Quebec would be nice if most of the Quebecers didn't live there
//Also, in keeping with the "Ponify ALL the things" mantra:

iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de
 
2013-09-04 12:57:10 PM  
Was he applying to be a graphic designer for Hasbro? That's the only way this makes any sense.
 
2013-09-04 01:14:15 PM  
I can't help but think that the creativity and skill that went into creating this resume would have been better used not tying it to an annoying internet fad.
 
2013-09-04 01:24:45 PM  
Should have gone with Transformers.
 
2013-09-04 01:25:16 PM  
I think we can all agree... at least it isn't done in Comic Sans.
 
2013-09-04 01:25:40 PM  
web.mit.edu
 
2013-09-04 01:26:36 PM  
I wouldn't hire him because he uses VIM.

It's 2013 people.  Let it go.
 
2013-09-04 01:26:39 PM  
Obviously he should have sent an electronic résumé with gifs included.
 
2013-09-04 01:27:44 PM  
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-04 01:27:51 PM  

blatz514: Should have gone with Transformers.


And be linked to Michael Bay? I'll stick with the ponies, it's safer.
 
2013-09-04 01:28:28 PM  
"Dorkly"? Can we stop adding -ly to the end or random words? I hate that. It's even stupider-sounding than all those nonsensical corporation names ending in -ant and -ent.
 
2013-09-04 01:28:35 PM  

ds_4815: I think we can all agree... at least it isn't done in Comic Sans.


If it was, it would of immediately broke the internet.
 
2013-09-04 01:28:42 PM  
He'll not get a bite if he keeps applying to jobs that use Emacs and C++
 
2013-09-04 01:29:43 PM  
This is likely the resume of somebody applying for a job in Silicon Valley.  A lot of those companies eat stuff like this up.
It is all about catching the eye of a recruiter...
 
2013-09-04 01:30:03 PM  

phaseolus: "Dorkly"? Can we stop adding -ly to the end or random words? I hate that. It's even stupider-sounding than all those nonsensical corporation names ending in -ant and -ent.


Did you hear about the new test equipment company Agilently?
 
2013-09-04 01:30:06 PM  
If this was a job working with children at a day-care center or an art-themed place of business, then no problem. Any other job and i would be calling the local police to keep an eye on him.

i1180.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-04 01:30:22 PM  
Know what? Do your resume in a My Little Pony theme. I don't care. But if you can't be bothered to proof-read your own resume and correct the grammatical errors, I'm not hiring you. Especially if you're going to be writing code.
 
2013-09-04 01:30:25 PM  

Mog32Kupo: ds_4815: I think we can all agree... at least it isn't done in Comic Sans.

If it was, it would of immediately broke the internet.


You know what, while you're out grinding the 9 to 5 job with Ariel, Comic Sans is at home farking your wife with Papyrus doing the spitroast.
 
2013-09-04 01:31:00 PM  
When informed that he was not hired, the applicant reportedly stated that he just did not know what went wrong.
 
2013-09-04 01:31:31 PM  

js34603: Obviously he should have sent an electronic résumé with gifs included.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-04 01:31:58 PM  

Lsherm: Probably fake

 
2013-09-04 01:32:06 PM  

Lsherm: That is...uniquely awful.

Probably fake, too.


My co-worker has an un-redacted copy on the side of his cube.  It's real within broad definitions of the word 'real', encompassing the concept of there being a real person that really put this out there.
 
2013-09-04 01:32:48 PM  
That's just...
I can't...
What the...?

Anderson Cooper disapproves

gifatron.com
 
2013-09-04 01:36:00 PM  
Maybe it was this guy's resume.
www.hotflick.net
 
2013-09-04 01:36:00 PM  
The only good thing about bronies is that they're so terrible that they make furries look like perfectly reasonable non-perverts. So yeah, thanks, I guess.
 
2013-09-04 01:36:47 PM  

pacified: I wouldn't hire him because he uses VIM.

It's 2013 people.  Let it go.


Cold dead hands, etc.

I'm not saying it's the best available editor, but it is everywhere. If you can use vim you'll never be forced to scream "They don't have my favorite IDE!! I can't work like this!!" and storming off to your trailer in huff. (Not that you won't storm off in a huff, necessarily...but at least you'll have other options.)
 
2013-09-04 01:36:48 PM  
Be glad he didn't use Derpy as a reference

fc03.deviantart.net
 
2013-09-04 01:37:23 PM  
http://panzi.github.io/Browser-Ponies/

lets you "Ponify" any web page.

I was tempted to ponify my first project for my new employer as a joke but... I like my new job.

Ponified Fark is just awesome!


============================

phaseolus: "Dorkly"? Can we stop adding -ly to the end or random words? I hate that. It's even stupider-sounding than all those nonsensical corporation names ending in -ant and -ent.


Now have you farkied as "phaseolusly"
 
2013-09-04 01:38:03 PM  

plausdeny: My co-worker has an un-redacted copy on the side of his cube.



Oh, do share please.
 
2013-09-04 01:38:49 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: phaseolus: "Dorkly"? Can we stop adding -ly to the end or random words? I hate that. It's even stupider-sounding than all those nonsensical corporation names ending in -ant and -ent.

Did you hear about the new test equipment company Agilently?


I thought that was a startup, and its name was actually Agilentlyster. I have no idea what they do, but they're in funding round 3!
 
2013-09-04 01:39:16 PM  
Assuming that resume is real, he is testing to see what he can get away with, just because he is that good.

Or it is fake as a three dollar bill.
 
2013-09-04 01:39:27 PM  

EnglishMan: The only good thing about bronies is that they're so terrible that they make furries look like perfectly reasonable non-perverts. So yeah, thanks, I guess.


As someone in the furry fandom, you're joking about this, right? I actually worked as a Paramedic at a furry con over the weekend (I'm on the medical/disaster prep staff for it). After 8, all the panels were 21 and over only and were all kink related until 2am. One of them was a BDSM demonstration on how to do Shibari.

The only difference is that the furries are rather unabashed at telling you that they understand a large part of their community also overlaps with the fetish community.

Furries learned a long time ago something the brony community hasn't learned yet: Reel in your idiots and keep them under control. Don't make an ass of yourself, and don't throw your fetishes into other people's faces and then scoff when they make fun of you for it.

Bronies haven't learned to gag their Chris-Chans and throw them in the basement yet.
 
2013-09-04 01:41:01 PM  
CSB time.

My first job out of school (early 90's) was as a team member doing greenfield startups for massive manufacturing sites. Even for the candidates for line workers we would require a resume because it was the easiest way to get candidate information. We didn't care about the content as long as we got name, address, etc.

You wouldn't believe some of the resumes we got. Hand-written pencil and paper. Pop-up boxes with the resume inside. Every color of the rainbow and ink...but the best one that I still have somewhere was a +50-page resume on rainbow construction paper that had Polaroids of his whole family, pets, teachers in high school, church pictures, hobbies...every picture was pasted on one-page with hand written text in marker...it easily took 100 hours to do and it was bound with those brass expanding hooks.

After we stopped laughing and read it...you realized this dude would do just about anything to get that line job. And yes, we hired him and eventually he moved up the corporate ladder to become management.

Later he took a financial flyer and bought the Texas Rangers and eventually became our 43rd President.
 
2013-09-04 01:41:19 PM  

Matthew Keene: plausdeny: My co-worker has an un-redacted copy on the side of his cube.


Oh, do share please.


http://www.pjreddie.com/.
 
2013-09-04 01:44:59 PM  

there their theyre: http://www.pjreddie.com/


Oh dear. It is very very real.
 
2013-09-04 01:45:14 PM  

EnglishMan: The only good thing about bronies is that they're so terrible that they make furries look like perfectly reasonable non-perverts. So yeah, thanks, I guess.


They will bring Ragnorok to Furry Valhalla, mark my words.
 
2013-09-04 01:48:23 PM  
Actually a google search finds the original PDF pretty easy
 
2013-09-04 01:49:03 PM  

Dman33: This is likely the resume of somebody applying for a job in Silicon Valley.  A lot of those companies eat stuff like this up.
It is all about catching the eye of a recruiter...


I'm sure he at least accomplished that.

I know a guy that listed managing WOW raids as work experience. He generally had trouble getting hired.
 
2013-09-04 01:49:37 PM  

hardinparamedic: Furries learned a long time ago something the brony community hasn't learned yet: Reel in your idiots and keep them under control. Don't make an ass of yourself, and don't throw your fetishes into other people's faces and then scoff when they make fun of you for it.


Bingo. If you can't learn to put a leash (so to speak) on the fringe, you're gonna have a bad time. Bronies seems to have accelerated through the fandom motions at 10x the rate the furry fandom every had... you'd think they'd have gotten around to that part by now.
 
2013-09-04 01:50:08 PM  

there their theyre: Matthew Keene: plausdeny: My co-worker has an un-redacted copy on the side of his cube.


Oh, do share please.

http://www.pjreddie.com/.


that's amazing.

his third person voice and pony metaphors are ....
 
2013-09-04 01:51:16 PM  

Apos: I was sure that the My Li-


[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]


31.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-04 01:51:35 PM  

Fano: They will bring Ragnorok to Furry Valhalla, mark my words.


I remember reading about a terrible brony-furry war prophecy in the Book of Revelations... I thought it was just metaphor, like the battle of Longact vs. Tacgnol.
 
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