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(New York Daily News)   The fanboy rage over Affleck's Batman can't hold a candle to the soccer mom rage over 50 Shades. Unless the wax is dripped in just the right spots   (nydailynews.com) divider line 91
    More: Followup, Charlie Hunnam, Dakota Johnson, Ian Somerhalder, Ben Affleck, Melanie Griffith, Tippi Hedren, Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca  
•       •       •

4125 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 04 Sep 2013 at 1:26 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



91 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-09-04 11:53:01 AM
Excellent headline, subby!  +eleventy
 
2013-09-04 12:11:43 PM
So what? They're taking a badly-written Twilight fanfic and turning it into a soft R (if not PG-13) movie. I expect there to be some injuries if they go directly by what the book claims is a good way to string someone up. It's gonna be a huge disappointment for the fans, no matter what.

And I f*cking approve of disappointing 50 Shades fans. Coming onto FetLife demanding the "perfect' fantasy and throwing a tantrum when they learn that BDSM isn't strictly black and white. Oh, the irony.

It's hilarious when they learn that riding crops actually hurt. Sends 'em screaming back to Vanillaland. And you KNOW they can't take it when the door hits 'em where evolution splits 'em.
 
2013-09-04 01:06:42 PM

Saborlas: So what? They're taking a badly-written Twilight fanfic and turning it into a soft R (if not PG-13) movie. I expect there to be some injuries if they go directly by what the book claims is a good way to string someone up. It's gonna be a huge disappointment for the fans, no matter what.

And I f*cking approve of disappointing 50 Shades fans. Coming onto FetLife demanding the "perfect' fantasy and throwing a tantrum when they learn that BDSM isn't strictly black and white. Oh, the irony.

It's hilarious when they learn that riding crops actually hurt. Sends 'em screaming back to Vanillaland. And you KNOW they can't take it when the door hits 'em where evolution splits 'em.


Is this seriously going to turn into a BDSM discussion thread?  Really?  Can't you wait for 4 more hours so I can enjoy it while I'm off work?

/bookmarked
 
2013-09-04 01:14:17 PM
I thought "backlash" was the whole point?
 
2013-09-04 01:28:25 PM
Ohh stick a sock in it soccer moms. Or a ball-gag, whichever you prefer.
 
Ant
2013-09-04 01:30:44 PM
Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.
 
2013-09-04 01:31:11 PM
Housewife porn. And I'm ok with that.
 
2013-09-04 01:32:57 PM
Can't we all just wait for the hardcore "parody" version of the movie that Hustler will eventually produce and release? Scratch that, it's already been done. Shame on me for temporarily ignoring Rule 34.
 
2013-09-04 01:34:29 PM
 
2013-09-04 01:37:44 PM
As long as Dakota Johnson gets really really naked I'm ok with the movie getting made. I'll just fastforward to the good parts.
 
2013-09-04 01:40:20 PM
In before all the fat, sweaty, pony-tailed neckbeards come in here to say how better their sex life is because they indulge in sociopathic fantasies created by a unloved childhood and sexual abuse.
 
2013-09-04 01:42:06 PM

Kiler: As long as Dakota Johnson gets really really naked I'm ok with the movie getting made. I'll just fastforward to the good parts.


This.

I hope there's fisting involved.
 
2013-09-04 01:42:21 PM

Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.


Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!
 
2013-09-04 01:43:28 PM

whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!


s3.amazonaws.com
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.
 
2013-09-04 01:46:43 PM

EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.


Exactly what I was thinking ;-)
 
2013-09-04 01:48:06 PM

EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.



Rodney Splash
Buster Hymen
Native Elm
...
 
2013-09-04 01:48:32 PM

Saborlas: So what? They're taking a badly-written Twilight fanfic and turning it into a soft R (if not PG-13) movie.


Hurt me, hurt me. Make me sparkle in the daylight.
 
2013-09-04 01:51:48 PM

Saborlas: So what? They're taking a badly-written Twilight fanfic and turning it into a soft R (if not PG-13) movie. I expect there to be some injuries if they go directly by what the book claims is a good way to string someone up. It's gonna be a huge disappointment for the fans, no matter what.

And I f*cking approve of disappointing 50 Shades fans. Coming onto FetLife demanding the "perfect' fantasy and throwing a tantrum when they learn that BDSM isn't strictly black and white. Oh, the irony.

It's hilarious when they learn that riding crops actually hurt. Sends 'em screaming back to Vanillaland. And you KNOW they can't take it when the door hits 'em where evolution splits 'em.


Yeah, it's the people who don't find sexual pleasure in intense pain that have a problem....
 
2013-09-04 01:52:26 PM

that was my nickname in highschool: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.


Rodney Splash
Buster Hymen
Native Elm
...


Rip Rapington!
 
2013-09-04 02:02:35 PM

whosits_112: that was my nickname in highschool: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.


Rodney Splash
Buster Hymen
Native Elm
...

Rip Rapington!


Jim Sexdungeon!
 
2013-09-04 02:04:10 PM
They should have made them happy and just cast some middle-aged house frau.
 
2013-09-04 02:04:23 PM
if they'd cast charlie day instead of charlie hunan, i'd watch it
 
2013-09-04 02:05:04 PM
So... I'm not going to see Charlie Hunnam's dick?

God. Dammit.
 
2013-09-04 02:05:28 PM

Arachnophobe: whosits_112: that was my nickname in highschool: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.


Rodney Splash
Buster Hymen
Native Elm
...

Rip Rapington!

Jim Sexdungeon!


Big McLargehuge
 
2013-09-04 02:05:29 PM

Arachnophobe: whosits_112: that was my nickname in highschool: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.


Rodney Splash
Buster Hymen
Native Elm
...

Rip Rapington!

Jim Sexdungeon!


Archibald Cornholer
Thaddeus P. Longstroke
Arnold J. Rimmer
 
2013-09-04 02:10:41 PM

LlamaGirl: So... I'm not going to see Charlie Hunnam's dick?

God. Dammit.


Well, not if you obey that pesky restraining order.
 
2013-09-04 02:12:41 PM
 You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll... chips, dips, chains, whips... You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing. I mean, uh, I'm not talking candlewax on the nipples, or witchcraft or anything like that, no, no, no. Just a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear, acting like complete animals.

3j0by72a1bhn38rrij4dkr868b0.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com
 
2013-09-04 02:16:08 PM

whosits_112: Arachnophobe: whosits_112: that was my nickname in highschool: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.


Rodney Splash
Buster Hymen
Native Elm
...

Rip Rapington!

Jim Sexdungeon!

Archibald Cornholer
Thaddeus P. Longstroke
Arnold J. Rimmer


Dildo McThrust
 
2013-09-04 02:17:05 PM

whosits_112: Arachnophobe: whosits_112: that was my nickname in highschool: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.


Rodney Splash
Buster Hymen
Native Elm
...

Rip Rapington!

Jim Sexdungeon!

Archibald Cornholer
Thaddeus P. Longstroke
Arnold J. Rimmer


Headwind Hardstroke
Cap Geyser
Kachin Logg
 
2013-09-04 02:19:04 PM
Money for nothing, chicks for free to be stupid.
 
2013-09-04 02:19:22 PM

EyeballKid: whosits_112: Arachnophobe: whosits_112: that was my nickname in highschool: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.


Rodney Splash
Buster Hymen
Native Elm
...

Rip Rapington!

Jim Sexdungeon!

Archibald Cornholer
Thaddeus P. Longstroke

Arnold J. Rimmer

Dildo McThrust


Slam Humpington!

/smeghead
 
2013-09-04 02:22:31 PM

give me doughnuts: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Arachnophobe: whosits_112: that was my nickname in highschool: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.


Rodney Splash
Buster Hymen
Native Elm
...

Rip Rapington!

Jim Sexdungeon!

Archibald Cornholer
Thaddeus P. Longstroke
Arnold J. Rimmer

Dildo McThrust


Slam Humpington!

/smeghead


That really spins my nipple-nuts!
 
2013-09-04 02:28:57 PM

whosits_112: give me doughnuts: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Arachnophobe: whosits_112: that was my nickname in highschool: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.


Rodney Splash
Buster Hymen
Native Elm
...

Rip Rapington!

Jim Sexdungeon!

Archibald Cornholer
Thaddeus P. Longstroke
Arnold J. Rimmer

Dildo McThrust


Slam Humpington!

/smeghead

That really spins my nipple-nuts!



D'Oh! Why are my pictures disappearing!

i.qkme.me
 
2013-09-04 02:32:08 PM
I don't know anything about the books, but Charlie Hunnam is a decent actor.  If you don't like him in SoA, check out Green Street Hooligans.
 
2013-09-04 02:38:14 PM

whosits_112: whosits_112: give me doughnuts: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Arachnophobe: whosits_112: that was my nickname in highschool: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.


Rodney Splash
Buster Hymen
Native Elm
...

Rip Rapington!

Jim Sexdungeon!

Archibald Cornholer
Thaddeus P. Longstroke
Arnold J. Rimmer

Dildo McThrust


Slam Humpington!

/smeghead

That really spins my nipple-nuts!


D'Oh! Why are my pictures disappearing!

[i.qkme.me image 326x216]


Was expecting Buck Naked before now.
 
2013-09-04 02:42:06 PM
Didn't they already make this movie? I think it was called Secretary.
 
2013-09-04 02:47:23 PM

Sybarite: They should have made them happy and just cast some middle-aged house frau.


It would be better for the fraus if the Anastasia Steele part was shot entirely first-person, as though the camera were looking through her eyes.  Get some no-name hot-body and artfully hide her face for the 3rd-person, ass-whipping shots.
 
2013-09-04 02:51:56 PM

Some_Local_Deity: Sybarite: They should have made them happy and just cast some middle-aged house frau.

It would be better for the fraus if the Anastasia Steele part was shot entirely first-person, as though the camera were looking through her eyes.  Get some no-name hot-body and artfully hide her face for the 3rd-person, ass-whipping shots.


THIS, so much.

/Paging Mary Sue. Mary Sue, the Grey courtesy phone...
//embarrassed to know this.
 
2013-09-04 02:56:31 PM

Cymbal: whosits_112: Arachnophobe: whosits_112: that was my nickname in highschool: EyeballKid: whosits_112: Ant: Christian Grey? Anastasia Steele? Really?

Those names are so farking corny. They sound like daytime soap opera characters.

Brick Hardy
Dirk Hammer
Alexandria Gunn
Francesca Blast

This is fun!

[s3.amazonaws.com image 448x252]
Blast Hardcheese likes where this is going.


Rodney Splash
Buster Hymen
Native Elm
...

Rip Rapington!

Jim Sexdungeon!

Archibald Cornholer
Thaddeus P. Longstroke
Arnold J. Rimmer

Headwind Hardstroke
Cap Geyser
Kachin Logg


Bob Dick Johnson

/oh wait...
 
2013-09-04 02:56:33 PM

Outrageous Muff: In before all the fat, sweaty, pony-tailed neckbeards come in here to say how better their sex life is because they indulge in sociopathic fantasies created by a unloved childhood and sexual abuse.


Does it hurt to be that shallow?
 
2013-09-04 02:57:47 PM
I used "50 Shades" as my indicator of which friends were dealing with disappointing sex lives. The number was stunning.

/a little freaked out by peers who go crazy over such things
//fanfic of something dreadful to begin with isn't worth reading
 
2013-09-04 02:58:01 PM

DemDave: Didn't they already make this movie? I think it was called Secretary.


Whoever wrote Secretary actually understood the dynamics of a D/S relationship.
 
2013-09-04 03:00:34 PM

Some_Local_Deity: Sybarite: They should have made them happy and just cast some middle-aged house frau.

It would be better for the fraus if the Anastasia Steele part was shot entirely first-person, as though the camera were looking through her eyes.  Get some no-name hot-body and artfully hide her face for the 3rd-person, ass-whipping shots.


Please then my wife will complain that they cast the wrong gal because the model they hired was not 4' wide like her.  Totally ruining her fantasy.
 
2013-09-04 03:01:57 PM
Goddammit, ladies, quit with this whole non-porn porn facade and just watch porn.
 
2013-09-04 03:02:08 PM

firsttiger: I used "50 Shades" as my indicator of which friends were dealing with disappointing sex lives. The number was stunning.

/a little freaked out by peers who go crazy over such things
//fanfic of something dreadful to begin with isn't worth reading


Still working out a way to use it for seeing which friends' wives are up for a little action.
 
2013-09-04 03:07:16 PM

Saiga410: Some_Local_Deity: Sybarite: They should have made them happy and just cast some middle-aged house frau.

It would be better for the fraus if the Anastasia Steele part was shot entirely first-person, as though the camera were looking through her eyes.  Get some no-name hot-body and artfully hide her face for the 3rd-person, ass-whipping shots.

Please then my wife will complain that they cast the wrong gal because the model they hired was not 4' wide like her.  Totally ruining her fantasy.


Dude, in the fantasy, she's got the hot ass as well as the hurt-me-but-not-really man-god.
 
2013-09-04 03:12:16 PM

Some_Local_Deity: Saiga410: Some_Local_Deity: Sybarite: They should have made them happy and just cast some middle-aged house frau.

It would be better for the fraus if the Anastasia Steele part was shot entirely first-person, as though the camera were looking through her eyes.  Get some no-name hot-body and artfully hide her face for the 3rd-person, ass-whipping shots.

Please then my wife will complain that they cast the wrong gal because the model they hired was not 4' wide like her.  Totally ruining her fantasy.

Dude, in the fantasy, she's got the hot ass as well as the hurt-me-but-not-really man-god.


Man-god? Or Man-Bear-Pig?
 
2013-09-04 03:15:03 PM

olapbill: You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll... chips, dips, chains, whips... You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing. I mean, uh, I'm not talking candlewax on the nipples, or witchcraft or anything like that, no, no, no. Just a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear, acting like complete animals.

[3j0by72a1bhn38rrij4dkr868b0.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com image 529x265]


Kelly was soooo hot back in the day...

...then hit the wall at warp speed
 
2013-09-04 03:26:47 PM

olapbill:  You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll... chips, dips, chains, whips... You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing. I mean, uh, I'm not talking candlewax on the nipples, or witchcraft or anything like that, no, no, no. Just a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear, acting like complete animals.


This just made my day.
 
2013-09-04 03:28:55 PM
These fans...do they know that they can-- you know -- not watch the movie version of the book they've already read cover to cover countless times? Maybe even try reading...a second book?
 
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