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(Telegraph)   Men's magazine in India does sex study, discovers that India has the lowest number of sexual experiences, while horny Croatians are banging anything not nailed down, and some things that are   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 103
    More: Amusing, sex educations, Indians, fake orgasm  
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7012 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Sep 2013 at 9:07 AM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



103 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-04 09:08:38 AM
Note to self, lookup tickets to Croatia on expedia today
 
2013-09-04 09:09:08 AM
I knew there was a reason I've been wanting to move to Croatia...

/for me, much much more...
 
2013-09-04 09:10:30 AM
Wait, did India count all the rape?
 
2013-09-04 09:11:00 AM
Because vampires are sessy, sessy beasts.
 
2013-09-04 09:11:28 AM
It's hard to play just the tip when you refuse to.
 
2013-09-04 09:16:52 AM
Sad, because
they literally wrote the book on it.
Indian women are hot.
Well, until you get them nekkid and it's all bush.
 
2013-09-04 09:16:54 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: Note to self, lookup tickets to Croatia on expedia today


Make sure to were t-shirt that says "И Фуцк Он Тхе Фирст Дате"
 
2013-09-04 09:17:04 AM
This does not surprise me. My Croatian buddy who runs the tavern down the street took a trip back to the old country last month with his wife, kids, and girlfriend. It's an odd culture apparently.
 
2013-09-04 09:17:53 AM
lostlab.ru

Could have gotten laid if he wanted to
 
2013-09-04 09:18:41 AM

palelizard: Wait, did India count all the rape?


that's exactly what I was thinking...seems the guys have been getting quite a bit of action in my opinion...
 
2013-09-04 09:19:44 AM
or "Я люблю Родину, мать твою " [I love your motherland]
 
2013-09-04 09:24:37 AM

vudukungfu: Sad, because
they literally wrote the book on it.
Indian women are hot.
Well, until you get them nekkid and it's all bush.


Lack of a dating scene and parents that make Victorians look like Hugh Hefner may have something to do with it.
 
2013-09-04 09:24:54 AM

vudukungfu: Sad, because
they literally wrote the book on it.
Indian women are hot.
Well, until you get them nekkid and it's all bush.


There are a lot of Indian women at my university, and they seem to be very dichotomous.  They're either drop-dead gorgeous, or absolutely hideous.  I honestly can't remember any time I've encountered an average-looking Indian girl.
 
2013-09-04 09:24:57 AM
What mummy porn may look like:

historylink101.com
 
2013-09-04 09:26:21 AM

HMS_Blinkin: vudukungfu: Sad, because
they literally wrote the book on it.
Indian women are hot.
Well, until you get them nekkid and it's all bush.

There are a lot of Indian women at my university, and they seem to be very dichotomous.  They're either drop-dead gorgeous, or absolutely hideous.  I honestly can't remember any time I've encountered an average-looking Indian girl.


This. I have been at many universities now, and I have met hundreds of Indian women. This seems to be a universal truth.
 
2013-09-04 09:26:52 AM

vudukungfu: Well, until you get them nekkid and it's all bush.


Not to turn this thread into THAT discussion again, but I don't mind bush. Let's me know a woman's not pre-pubescent.

/asbestos suit on

Also

endmile: What mummy porn may look like:

[historylink101.com image 818x438]


I loathe Rule 34.
 
2013-09-04 09:27:29 AM
If your Indian woman fakirs all her orgasms, you're doing it wrong.
 
2013-09-04 09:31:53 AM
No surprise that Britain likes kinky sex. They practically invented schoolboy bdsm.
 
2013-09-04 09:32:57 AM

endmile: HMS_Blinkin: vudukungfu: Sad, because
they literally wrote the book on it.
Indian women are hot.
Well, until you get them nekkid and it's all bush.

There are a lot of Indian women at my university, and they seem to be very dichotomous.  They're either drop-dead gorgeous, or absolutely hideous.  I honestly can't remember any time I've encountered an average-looking Indian girl.

This. I have been at many universities now, and I have met hundreds of Indian women. This seems to be a universal truth.


I'm glad I'm not the only person who's noticed this.
 
2013-09-04 09:37:42 AM
As far as Indians writing the book on Sex, I think there is something to be said for needing an instruction manual in the first place...
 
2013-09-04 09:40:05 AM

Evil Twin Skippy: As far as Indians writing the book on Sex, I think there is something to be said for needing an instruction manual in the first place...


rape rape rape....
 
2013-09-04 09:40:13 AM

bearded clamorer: Could have gotten laid if he wanted to


He's dreamy.
 
2013-09-04 09:41:01 AM
Indians can't have as much sex cuz those big feathered headresses get in the way.....
 
2013-09-04 09:41:48 AM

palelizard: Wait, did India count all the rape?


No.  Rape is not sex.
 
2013-09-04 09:47:02 AM

Graffito: No.  Rape is not sex.


Cardio then?
 
2013-09-04 09:49:18 AM
It is because I am a nerd, isn't it?

www.disney.co.uk
 
2013-09-04 09:49:47 AM
many years ago a Croatian co-worker (he was an electrical engineer) stopped by the parts warehouse area i oversaw. during light conversation he casually says to me "you know how i know you're not homosexual? because you are overweight. gay men have to stay very thin so they can perform the positions they enjoy during sex". farking amazing what comes out of some peoples mouths.
 
2013-09-04 09:50:25 AM

Graffito: palelizard: Wait, did India count all the rape?

No.  Rape is not sex.


Not to split hairs, but you mean "Rape is not consensual sex."

It's most certainly sex.  Not good, morally correct, etc., but still sex.
 
2013-09-04 09:52:08 AM
I guess it's hard to get laid when you already smell like sex all the time. Seriously, deodorant people. It's not a new invention.
 
2013-09-04 09:53:10 AM
 
2013-09-04 09:53:42 AM

jayphat: I guess it's hard to get laid when you already smell like sex all the time. Seriously, deodorant people. It's not a new invention.


What good is putting on deodorant going to do when you step out of the bath you just took in a sh*t and corpse filled river?
 
2013-09-04 09:55:41 AM
India has 1.25 billion people, the second largest population in the world next to China.  I think they are having their sexytime.
 
2013-09-04 09:57:56 AM
Croatian women?

i102.photobucket.com

I can see why.
 
2013-09-04 09:58:48 AM

The Muthaship: jayphat: I guess it's hard to get laid when you already smell like sex all the time. Seriously, deodorant people. It's not a new invention.

What good is putting on deodorant going to do when you step out of the bath you just took in a sh*t and corpse filled river?


Since when does the american public water system have sh*t and corpses in it?  Oh you're talking about Indian-indians.
 
2013-09-04 10:00:38 AM

Fano: parents that make Victorians look like Hugh Hefner


Arranged marriage = rape.
 
2013-09-04 10:02:16 AM

vudukungfu: Fano: parents that make Victorians look like Hugh Hefner

Arranged marriage = rape.


Of which person?
 
2013-09-04 10:03:59 AM

vudukungfu: Fano: parents that make Victorians look like Hugh Hefner

Arranged marriage = rape.


actually, I think it's in the contract...
 
2013-09-04 10:09:06 AM

Daffydil: vudukungfu: Fano: parents that make Victorians look like Hugh Hefner

Arranged marriage = rape.

actually, I think it's in the contract...


That's a feature not a bug
 
2013-09-04 10:09:55 AM

SpdrJay: Indians can't have as much sex cuz those big feathered headresses get in the way.....


"Chance."
 
2013-09-04 10:10:44 AM

HMS_Blinkin: endmile: HMS_Blinkin: vudukungfu: Sad, because
they literally wrote the book on it.
Indian women are hot.
Well, until you get them nekkid and it's all bush.

There are a lot of Indian women at my university, and they seem to be very dichotomous.  They're either drop-dead gorgeous, or absolutely hideous.  I honestly can't remember any time I've encountered an average-looking Indian girl.

This. I have been at many universities now, and I have met hundreds of Indian women. This seems to be a universal truth.

I'm glad I'm not the only person who's noticed this.


Same here.
 
2013-09-04 10:11:47 AM

Graffito: palelizard: Wait, did India count all the rape?

No.  Rape is not sex.


Joke:1
You:0
 
2013-09-04 10:12:27 AM
It's natural contraception.
www.flixya.com
 
2013-09-04 10:14:23 AM

gaslight: This is hardly a surprise.


india has a high rate of condom failure due to the condoms slipping off because they are too large.
 
2013-09-04 10:15:18 AM

Fano: SpdrJay: Indians can't have as much sex cuz those big feathered headresses get in the way.....

"Chance."


Wait are we talking red dot or woo woo?
 
2013-09-04 10:15:49 AM
There are already a billion of them.
How many would there be if they had more encounters?

I also hold the theory that the number of encounters in a country is in inverse proportion to the availability of porn, ice cream, Xboxes and PS3s.

/why go out, spend money, spend time on the off chance that you might have an encounter when you can get sexual release and fun time at home?!
//does not condone the above mentioned activities. Ok, maybe some Rocky Road.
///really does seem like society I heading that way though
 
2013-09-04 10:16:31 AM

o'really: gaslight: This is hardly a surprise.

india has a high rate of condom failure due to the condoms slipping off because they are too large.


What size rims do you have on your monster truck, stud muffin? I'll hold your can of steel reserve while you go check.
 
2013-09-04 10:18:25 AM
There's actually quite a lot to like about Croatia. Beautiful seaside towns, decent roads (for the most part), awesome food & wine, spectacular national parks, nude beaches, pretty inexpensive... you could do a lot worse.
 
2013-09-04 10:22:17 AM

KrispyKritter: many years ago a Croatian co-worker (he was an electrical engineer) stopped by the parts warehouse area i oversaw. during light conversation he casually says to me "you know how i know you're not homosexual? because you are overweight. gay men have to stay very thin so they can perform the positions they enjoy during sex". farking amazing what comes out of some peoples mouths.


Or comes into their mouths, AMIRITE?
 
2013-09-04 10:22:27 AM

technofiend: Fano: SpdrJay: Indians can't have as much sex cuz those big feathered headresses get in the way.....

"Chance."

Wait are we talking red dot or woo woo?


Part of my best injun joke, punchline: "me know how, me want chance."
 
2013-09-04 10:26:04 AM
I think the Indians are lying their collective asses off. If they're not having sex, how can there be over a billion of them?
 
2013-09-04 10:26:20 AM
I dated two indian girls.

1 with blue eyes like in the movie Dune who looked like Salma Hayek.  She was 32, did not get laid for the first time until she was 30.  She was a freak, had to have it all the time. Big old bush

The second was 29 from a very Conservative family.  4.10 with giant hooters, and bald as an egg.

She had a phd and lived at home.  Her dad would give her permission Friday night to stay out until 9:00 pm.

Our first date she came over for dinner at 7:00 and said "I do not have to to spare" and raped me, because she had to go home.

The second time she came over she called and asked If i needed anything, I said condoms.  She showed up with a 50 pack.

It was great she would come over and we would get it on til 8:30.  She would leave and I would shower and clean up and be just in time to go out with my friends.
 
2013-09-04 10:27:10 AM

Apik0r0s: It's natural contraception.
[www.flixya.com image 500x334]


images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-09-04 10:30:57 AM

theflatline: I dated two indian girls.

1 with blue eyes like in the movie Dune who looked like Salma Hayek.  She was 32, did not get laid for the first time until she was 30.  She was a freak, had to have it all the time. Big old bush

The second was 29 from a very Conservative family.  4.10 with giant hooters, and bald as an egg.

She had a phd and lived at home.  Her dad would give her permission Friday night to stay out until 9:00 pm.

Our first date she came over for dinner at 7:00 and said "I do not have to to spare" and raped me, because she had to go home.

The second time she came over she called and asked If i needed anything, I said condoms.  She showed up with a 50 pack.

It was great she would come over and we would get it on til 8:30.  She would leave and I would shower and clean up and be just in time to go out with my friends.


legacy-cdn.smosh.com
 
2013-09-04 10:31:18 AM
I've you've ever been to India, with a female friend, you'd understand exactly why this is.

A lot of guys there are like bulls in China shops when it comes to interacting with women.

Why flirt when you can just grab a handful of whatever looks nice?
 
2013-09-04 10:31:35 AM
I have an Israeli buddy who is a model and basically travels all over the world banging chicks.  His go to place is Serbia.
 
2013-09-04 10:32:15 AM

Apik0r0s: It's natural contraception.
[www.flixya.com image 500x334]


i41.tinypic.com
 
2013-09-04 10:36:15 AM

Apik0r0s: It's natural contraception.
[www.flixya.com image 500x334]


Those tattoos are disgusting.
 
2013-09-04 10:39:50 AM
Eye bleach time:

1.bp.blogspot.com

f0.pepst.com

And one that may be NSFW
 
2013-09-04 10:42:57 AM
I found a place, now I just need to win the lottery.

www.broker.hr
 
2013-09-04 10:43:25 AM

AbiNormal: I think the Indians Indus are lying their collective asses off. If they're not having sex, how can there be over a billion of them?


/sorry, pet peeve
 
2013-09-04 10:51:35 AM

theflatline: His go to place is Serbia.


But, but cray cray.
 
2013-09-04 10:53:12 AM

Badgers: Apik0r0s: It's natural contraception.
[www.flixya.com image 500x334]

[i41.tinypic.com image 395x400]


Dad?
 
2013-09-04 10:54:32 AM

Daffydil: palelizard: Wait, did India count all the rape?

that's exactly what I was thinking...seems the guys have been getting quite a bit of action in my opinion...


My first thought as well.
 
2013-09-04 10:58:29 AM

bearded clamorer: [lostlab.ru image 356x500]

Could have gotten laid if he wanted to


OOOhhhhh yessssssss.......


I'd fark that brilliant craziness sane.  Or at least I'd give it one helluva try.
 
2013-09-04 10:58:29 AM
British men and women both ranked as the kinkiest on the planet, perhaps in part due to the phenomenon of 'mummy porn'.

Just FYI, that's a TOTALLY different thing in the U.S.
 
2013-09-04 11:01:43 AM

Badgers: Apik0r0s: It's natural contraception.
[www.flixya.com image 500x334]

[i41.tinypic.com image 395x400]


Corporal Klinger got fat...
 
2013-09-04 11:02:45 AM
Deodorant helps, but does not eliminate the Indian smell. My girlfriend is half Indian and even after she showers, you can detect a lingering Indian smell.

Also, I don't get laid enough. I blame the Indian half
 
2013-09-04 11:07:03 AM

Hot Lunch: Deodorant helps, but does not eliminate the Indian smell. My girlfriend is half Indian and even after she showers, you can detect a lingering Indian smell.

Also, I don't get laid enough. I blame the Indian half


food will do that to a person...does she eat her native food?
 
2013-09-04 11:15:30 AM

Daffydil: Hot Lunch: Deodorant helps, but does not eliminate the Indian smell. My girlfriend is half Indian and even after she showers, you can detect a lingering Indian smell.

Also, I don't get laid enough. I blame the Indian half

food will do that to a person...does she eat her native food?



Mmmmm, Vindaloo...
 
2013-09-04 11:21:22 AM
Swarthy, sweaty, curry and curds.
 
2013-09-04 11:23:26 AM
So Croatian men and English woman get it the most?  I assume that those cheap holiday flights from Heathrow to Dubrovnik make it all possible.

As for Indians, there were thousands of them at college.   Like others have pointed out, the girls are either very hot, or hideous.  As for why there are so many Indians, it's cultural.   Arranged marriages where the newly weds are expected to produce kids immediately.  I'm gonna guess that since these guys are only getting it once a week or so they're spewing out like a quart after 30 seconds in.
 
2013-09-04 11:39:30 AM
I'm an English woman so I'm getting a kick etc : )
 
2013-09-04 11:42:44 AM

whosits_112: Mmmmm, Vindaloo...


damn that sounds good!
 
2013-09-04 11:43:18 AM

Daffydil: Hot Lunch: Deodorant helps, but does not eliminate the Indian smell. My girlfriend is half Indian and even after she showers, you can detect a lingering Indian smell.

Also, I don't get laid enough. I blame the Indian half

food will do that to a person...does she eat her native food?


Not all that often, but she does from time to time. Well, she eats plenty of fried garbage, so yeah, that's food for her American half.

Oddly, she never smells like a french fry
 
2013-09-04 11:47:20 AM

HMS_Blinkin: vudukungfu: Sad, because
they literally wrote the book on it.
Indian women are hot.
Well, until you get them nekkid and it's all bush.

There are a lot of Indian women at my university, and they seem to be very dichotomous.  They're either drop-dead gorgeous, or absolutely hideous.  I honestly can't remember any time I've encountered an average-looking Indian girl.


For the most insane distribution of hotness, go to Kiev.  The women of the city are either four foot tall, babushka wearing crones or six foot tall microskirted supermodels.  It's insane.  There isn't a 3,4,5,6,7 or 8 to be found.
 
2013-09-04 11:49:16 AM

Lady J: I'm an English woman so I'm getting a kick etc : )


and evidently if you are getting a kick, this thread is kinky.
 
2013-09-04 12:03:26 PM
Four out of five people enjoy sex in India.
 
2013-09-04 12:24:01 PM

Fano: No surprise that Britain likes kinky sex. They practically invented schoolboy bdsm.


One moment we're forcing a 12 year old school boy to hold a hot crumpet between his cheeks, next thing we know Rule Britannia!
 
2013-09-04 12:24:05 PM
As a Croatian man, I'm getting a kick out of this.

(Always wanted to say that line here...thank you Jesus... :*( )
 
2013-09-04 12:34:52 PM

gibbon1: Fano: No surprise that Britain likes kinky sex. They practically invented schoolboy bdsm.

One moment we're forcing a 12 year old school boy to hold a hot crumpet between his cheeks, next thing we know Rule Britannia!


One of my college history professors (Berlenstain) suggested England went out and colonized the globe, particularly India, in pursuit of new boys to bugger.
 
2013-09-04 12:39:19 PM

gibbon1: Fano: No surprise that Britain likes kinky sex. They practically invented schoolboy bdsm.

One moment we're forcing a 12 year old school boy to hold a hot crumpet between his cheeks, next thing we know Rule Britannia!


www.bbc.co.uk
 
2013-09-04 12:43:11 PM

Fano: gibbon1: Fano: No surprise that Britain likes kinky sex. They practically invented schoolboy bdsm.

One moment we're forcing a 12 year old school boy to hold a hot crumpet between his cheeks, next thing we know Rule Britannia!

One of my college history professors (Berlenstain) suggested England went out and colonized the globe, particularly India, in pursuit of new boys to bugger.


Oh so he attended school in England, then? Where bullying is a sport and buttfarking an art.
 
2013-09-04 12:44:49 PM

Fano: vudukungfu: Sad, because
they literally wrote the book on it.
Indian women are hot.
Well, until you get them nekkid and it's all bush.

Lack of a dating scene and parents that make Victorians look like Hugh Hefner may have something to do with it.


That and +40C with 100% humidity.
 
2013-09-04 01:05:23 PM

HMS_Blinkin: endmile: HMS_Blinkin: vudukungfu: Sad, because
they literally wrote the book on it.
Indian women are hot.
Well, until you get them nekkid and it's all bush.

There are a lot of Indian women at my university, and they seem to be very dichotomous.  They're either drop-dead gorgeous, or absolutely hideous.  I honestly can't remember any time I've encountered an average-looking Indian girl.

This. I have been at many universities now, and I have met hundreds of Indian women. This seems to be a universal truth.

I'm glad I'm not the only person who's noticed this.


Me either.
 
2013-09-04 01:13:31 PM

vudukungfu: Sad, because
they literally wrote the book on it.
Indian women are hot.
Well, until you get them nekkid and it's all bush.


You say that like it's a bad thing.
 
2013-09-04 01:34:23 PM
Sadly Indian men get more than I do most weeks.

Chalk me up as a fan of Indian women... unfortunately most don't age well...


...if they can cook Indian food though would be worth it.
 
2013-09-04 01:55:24 PM
Headline linked in the article, might be a clue as to India's problems right here: "Woman killed over dowry 'every hour' in India".

You aren't allowed to socialize normally with the opposite sex then when you do get a wife you kill her.
 
2013-09-04 02:04:14 PM

Spiralmonkey: Headline linked in the article, might be a clue as to India's problems right here: "Woman killed over dowry 'every hour' in India".

You aren't allowed to socialize normally with the opposite sex then when you do get a wife you kill her.


I don't know what their problem is.  I thought Indian women were taught how to listen.
 
2013-09-04 02:16:52 PM

megarian: bearded clamorer: Could have gotten laid if he wanted to

He's dreamy.


farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2013-09-04 02:42:36 PM
reading this article makes me have the :(

so India which ranks last still averages once a week... man! thanks FARK/article for making me feel like a total loser!!!

I need to know what the average is for married couples. will it be more or less than total average?
 
2013-09-04 02:43:04 PM

blatz514: Croatian women?

[i102.photobucket.com image 298x400]

I can see why.


I was in Dubrovnik this summer, and I can attest to the beauty of Croatian women.
 
2013-09-04 02:58:52 PM

SuperNinjaToad: reading this article makes me have the :(

so India which ranks last still averages once a week... man! thanks FARK/article for making me feel like a total loser!!!

I need to know what the average is for married couples. will it be more or less than total average?


Much, much lower.
 
2013-09-04 03:02:45 PM

RobSeace: megarian: bearded clamorer: Could have gotten laid if he wanted to

He's dreamy.

[farm4.staticflickr.com image 640x476]


=============

I'm not surprised that women were hot for Tesla.  Tesla was a talented, nice looking man, with great manners.  He was consumed with his work and ignored women.  That combination will drive women wild.

BTW, Tesla was born in Croatia to ethnic Serb parents.  At the time Croatia was part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire.  Technically, he was a citizen of Austria-Hungary until he became a US citizen.
 
2013-09-04 03:58:36 PM

fireclown: For the most insane distribution of hotness, go to Kiev. The women of the city are either four foot tall, babushka wearing crones or six foot tall microskirted supermodels. It's insane. There isn't a 3,4,5,6,7 or 8 to be found.


I sat with two friends on a bench for two hours in Kiev near the entrance to Marks and Spencer.... I have to say that while you're completely correct in your assessment, the 9s and 10s outnumbered the 1s and 2s greatly. The height thing was astonishing, considering that the countryside is basically a third-world country there...
 
2013-09-04 04:34:40 PM

proteus_b: fireclown: For the most insane distribution of hotness, go to Kiev. The women of the city are either four foot tall, babushka wearing crones or six foot tall microskirted supermodels. It's insane. There isn't a 3,4,5,6,7 or 8 to be found.

I sat with two friends on a bench for two hours in Kiev near the entrance to Marks and Spencer.... I have to say that while you're completely correct in your assessment, the 9s and 10s outnumbered the 1s and 2s greatly. The height thing was astonishing, considering that the countryside is basically a third-world country there...


It's an evolutionary survival trait. The shorter ones have a lower surface-area to volume ratio, and therefore can conserve heat better.  However, that trait decreases the chances of breeding.  So there's a metamorphosis going on there.  All the young ones are tall and beautiful, in order to attract a mate.  However, there's a trigger, usually around the age of 30 or after the first or second child, that kicks off the transformation, which I'm told takes literally a fortnight to change from one form to the other.

It's rumored during that time span, the lady in question will spin a cocoon in order to hide its mysterious pupae form.  My research indicates that's an old wives tale, but I have yet to be able to actively disprove it.
 
2013-09-04 04:42:43 PM
I married a Croatian chick.  Can confirm they're super hot.
 
2013-09-04 04:58:05 PM

Daffydil: Graffito: No.  Rape is not sex.

Cardio then?


This made me laugh. Just sharing.
 
2013-09-04 05:41:03 PM
the red dot is not a target, many men think that!
 
2013-09-04 07:42:00 PM

bearded clamorer: [lostlab.ru image 356x500]

Could have gotten laid if he wanted to


www.scientificamerican.com
A challenger appears
 
2013-09-04 07:42:39 PM

tmcottle: the red dot is not a target, many men think that!


No no no. On your wedding night you scratch it off to see if you win a convenience store or a hotel.
 
2013-09-04 08:38:13 PM

Fano: tmcottle: the red dot is not a target, many men think that!

No no no. On your wedding night you scratch it off to see if you win a convenience store or a hotel.


due to the economy, they can't do that anymore
 
2013-09-04 11:39:45 PM
scratch scratch scratch "YES! GAS STATION!"
 
2013-09-05 07:56:42 PM
The gold ones are engineering firms.
 
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