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(USA Today)   Not News: MLB player busted for drugs. Fark: Mailing marijuana to his dog   (ftw.usatoday.com) divider line 58
    More: Amusing, Major League Baseball, marijuana  
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5226 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Sep 2013 at 8:58 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



58 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-04 08:59:15 AM  
Got a little labador in it?
 
2013-09-04 09:02:00 AM  
To be fair, his dog is pretty hilarious when he's high.

i1126.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-04 09:02:04 AM  
How else is he supposed to deal with living in Cleveland? However, pot smoking does explain why the Indians are fighting for a playoff spot and still no one is showing up to the games.
 
2013-09-04 09:02:55 AM  
Your dog wants steak.

Your dog wants dank.
 
2013-09-04 09:03:01 AM  
C'mon subby, that's no way to talk about a man's wife!
 
2013-09-04 09:03:52 AM  
If that's dog food, then...  DUDE! I gotta check on my dog, man.
 
2013-09-04 09:03:56 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
Haters gonna hate
 
2013-09-04 09:04:04 AM  
us13.memecdn.com
 
2013-09-04 09:04:58 AM  

Outrageous Muff: How else is he supposed to deal with living in Cleveland? However, pot smoking does explain why the Indians are fighting for a playoff spot and still no one is showing up to the games.


Choose One:
(a) "In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't..."
(b) "They still have a team?"
(c) [they're_shiatty.jpg]

/Go Tigers
 
2013-09-04 09:05:19 AM  
Im glad he didn't get the book thrown at him but 9 ounces of weed has put more than a few people behind bars. Especially delivered through the mail.

thats just over a 1/2 pound. most folks would be looking at intent etc
 
2013-09-04 09:07:32 AM  
yeah it happened months ago just after he went on the DL, he finally went to court and got fined
 
2013-09-04 09:08:18 AM  
His mistake was trusting the dog not to roll over.
 
2013-09-04 09:09:12 AM  

buckeyebrain: "They still have a team?"


uniforms and everything.
 
2013-09-04 09:09:12 AM  
Wow...9 oz and not conspiracy to distribute charge? If he was black it'd be a life sentence. Different rules for the rich.
 
2013-09-04 09:10:14 AM  
www.lolbrary.com
 
2013-09-04 09:12:45 AM  
Nine ounces.
Misdemeanor.
$250.00 fine.
Probation.

WTF?

Anyone not rich or famous would be locked up.
 
2013-09-04 09:13:30 AM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: yeah it happened months ago just after he went on the DL, he finally went to court and got fined


And I submitted a headline when he was first arrested, but it wasn't deemed worthy.
 
2013-09-04 09:21:34 AM  

symptomoftheuniverse: Nine ounces.
Misdemeanor.
$250.00 fine.
Probation.

WTF?

Anyone not rich or famous would be locked up.


To play devil's advocate, you may be able to argue that 9 oz is for personal use, as a rich guy.  You clearly don't need cash from selling it and are far more likely to throw parties where you just throw weed around.  If you look at how much coke guys like Richard Pryor went through, 9 oz of weed seems like a light weekend.
 
2013-09-04 09:21:36 AM  

kindms: Im glad he didn't get the book thrown at him but 9 ounces of weed has put more than a few people behind bars. Especially delivered through the mail.

thats just over a 1/2 pound. most folks would be looking at intent etc


Yeah I don't think people should be imprisoned for pot either, but if they're going to do it to normal people they should be consistent and do it to everyone. Then you might see some changes to the laws.
 
2013-09-04 09:24:28 AM  

symptomoftheuniverse: Nine ounces.
Misdemeanor.
$250.00 fine.
Probation.

WTF?

Anyone not rich or famous would be locked up.


If he were black or Mexican the police would have called a press conference and paraded him in front of the cameras with what ever money, jewelery and guns (even if they were legal) that they could find in the house laid out on a table.
 
2013-09-04 09:26:10 AM  
Did the dog get off with a warning?
 
2013-09-04 09:36:10 AM  
images.ftw.usatoday.com

Wait, What?
 
2013-09-04 09:36:59 AM  

ongbok: symptomoftheuniverse: Nine ounces.
Misdemeanor.
$250.00 fine.
Probation.

WTF?

Anyone not rich or famous would be locked up.

If he were black or Mexican the police would have called a press conference and paraded him in front of the cameras with what ever money, jewelery and guns (even if they were legal) that they could find in the house laid out on a table.


or poor.
 
2013-09-04 09:39:32 AM  
FTFA: So Perez, who did not actually admit guilt in the case, will now go warn high-school students about marijuana. How's that going to go?

Probabaly something like this: "Duuuudes, you know how your teacher didn't believe you when you said your dog ate your homework? Well it seems the dog isn't a good excuse when shipping your stash either.
 
2013-09-04 09:45:05 AM  

heavymetal: FTFA: So Perez, who did not actually admit guilt in the case, will now go warn high-school students about marijuana. How's that going to go?

Probabaly something like this: "Duuuudes, you know how your teacher didn't believe you when you said your dog ate your homework? Well it seems the dog isn't a good excuse when shipping your stash either.


More like "Y'know how they're always going on and on about your personal record?  Well, forget that crap, nothing you did here matters ten minutes after you graduate, so party on!"  If I were a teacher, I wouldn't want my students to spend too much time around adults, they might get the right idea.
 
2013-09-04 09:46:09 AM  
1funny.com


/Yeah, I got the weed but the cops showed up and took it.
//No, I can't come bail you out I'm a dog with no money!
 
2013-09-04 09:46:49 AM  

ongbok: symptomoftheuniverse: Nine ounces.
Misdemeanor.
$250.00 fine.
Probation.

WTF?

Anyone not rich or famous would be locked up.

If he were black or Mexican the police would have called a press conference and paraded him in front of the cameras with what ever money, jewelery and guns (even if they were legal) that they could find in the house laid out on a table.


I have so much trouble keeping up with the rules of who the oppressed minorities are - so, Mexican-American, get locked up. Cuban-American (like Chris Perez), good to go?
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-09-04 09:54:15 AM  
What a dumbass. ALWAYS mail it to the cat, they never rat you out.
 
2013-09-04 10:03:49 AM  
Well, if you're a black athlete, and you send yourself 2 pounds, you get 15 days in jail. Some difference :/

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120405/NEWS010704/304050027/Ben ga ls-WR-Simpson-serve-15-days-ja
 
2013-09-04 10:04:04 AM  

gja: What a dumbass. ALWAYS mail it to the cat, they never rat you out.


That's silly.  The cat would just turn around and sell it, using some of the proceeds to hire someone to kill you.
 
2013-09-04 10:11:42 AM  

illannoyin: /Yeah, I got the weed but the cops showed up and took it.
//No, I can't come bail you out I'm a dog with no money!


I was starting to hope for a "yes, this is dog" for "the one phone call."
 
2013-09-04 10:14:20 AM  

CognaciousThunk: Well, if you're a black athlete, and you send yourself 2 pounds, you get 15 days in jail. Some difference :/

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120405/NEWS010704/304050027/Ben ga ls-WR-Simpson-serve-15-days-ja


If you're Nate Newton, you can be caught twice in two months with nearly 500 pounds of the stuff and only get 30 months.

He looks down from his mountain and laughs.
 
2013-09-04 10:17:23 AM  

vudukungfu: Got a little labador in it?


I got that reference, I think it makes us both pretty old
 
2013-09-04 10:22:07 AM  

CognaciousThunk: Well, if you're a black athlete, and you send yourself 2 pounds, you get 15 days in jail. Some difference :/

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120405/NEWS010704/304050027/Ben ga ls-WR-Simpson-serve-15-days-ja


Yeah he's a former athlete which is why he got jail time, most sports teams pull strings for players that get in trouble.

As someone else posted Nate Newton was transporting bales of pot and never served one day in jail. And to be fair, if you get caught with as much pot as the WR did you would spend years in prison not days just like Nate should have been sentenced to 20-30 years but since he was on a pro sports team he got off.
 
2013-09-04 10:23:39 AM  

steamingpile: vudukungfu: Got a little labador in it?

I got that reference, I think it makes us both pretty old


Bullshait. It's not that long ago....

Google...

Crap.
 
2013-09-04 10:30:25 AM  

voodoohotdog: steamingpile: vudukungfu: Got a little labador in it?

I got that reference, I think it makes us both pretty old

Bullshait. It's not that long ago....

Google...

Crap.


Yeah I do the same thing, 'the other day' now means 10 years ago....I won't even tell you what a short while ago translates to now.
 
2013-09-04 10:32:00 AM  

steamingpile: CognaciousThunk: Well, if you're a black athlete, and you send yourself 2 pounds, you get 15 days in jail. Some difference :/

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120405/NEWS010704/304050027/Ben ga ls-WR-Simpson-serve-15-days-ja

Yeah he's a former athlete which is why he got jail time, most sports teams pull strings for players that get in trouble.

As someone else posted Nate Newton was transporting bales of pot and never served one day in jail. And to be fair, if you get caught with as much pot as the WR did you would spend years in prison not days just like Nate should have been sentenced to 20-30 years but since he was on a pro sports team he got off.


Nate Newton served 2.5 years in prison. He took a plea to conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance. Rumor is that he snitched on his supplier to get that sentence.
 
2013-09-04 10:42:42 AM  
Nine ounces in the mail and he gets a $250 fine?

Uh, ok.
 
2013-09-04 11:16:34 AM  

ongbok: steamingpile: CognaciousThunk: Well, if you're a black athlete, and you send yourself 2 pounds, you get 15 days in jail. Some difference :/

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120405/NEWS010704/304050027/Ben ga ls-WR-Simpson-serve-15-days-ja

Yeah he's a former athlete which is why he got jail time, most sports teams pull strings for players that get in trouble.

As someone else posted Nate Newton was transporting bales of pot and never served one day in jail. And to be fair, if you get caught with as much pot as the WR did you would spend years in prison not days just like Nate should have been sentenced to 20-30 years but since he was on a pro sports team he got off.

Nate Newton served 2.5 years in prison. He took a plea to conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance. Rumor is that he snitched on his supplier to get that sentence.


The second time is what did him in, besides 2 years for 400 pounds? Regular people get 20 years for that much and it wasn't his supplier, it was his partner in the transport. He got off light, just disproving the theory he only got out of jail time cause he was white.
 
2013-09-04 11:25:37 AM  
I mailed some coke to my cat to look after for me, and the little farker just cained the lot
 
2013-09-04 11:26:34 AM  

steamingpile: ongbok: steamingpile: CognaciousThunk: Well, if you're a black athlete, and you send yourself 2 pounds, you get 15 days in jail. Some difference :/

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120405/NEWS010704/304050027/Ben ga ls-WR-Simpson-serve-15-days-ja

Yeah he's a former athlete which is why he got jail time, most sports teams pull strings for players that get in trouble.

As someone else posted Nate Newton was transporting bales of pot and never served one day in jail. And to be fair, if you get caught with as much pot as the WR did you would spend years in prison not days just like Nate should have been sentenced to 20-30 years but since he was on a pro sports team he got off.

Nate Newton served 2.5 years in prison. He took a plea to conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance. Rumor is that he snitched on his supplier to get that sentence.

The second time is what did him in, besides 2 years for 400 pounds? Regular people get 20 years for that much and it wasn't his supplier, it was his partner in the transport. He got off light, just disproving the theory he only got out of jail time cause he was white.


Like I said before they say he ratted out his supplier, that is why he got off light. And he had two women with him the first time he was topped, and I'm pretty sure he was alone the second time. Plus he originally plead not guilty and spent 8 months in jail before he was sentenced. That points to him giving up somebody high up in the chain.
 
2013-09-04 11:38:15 AM  
Old news is so exciting.

From his Wikipedia page:
Perez and his wife were arrested on June 4, 2013 in Rocky River, Ohio on drug possession charges.
 
2013-09-04 11:39:29 AM  
I keep finding baggies of pot in my dog's bed.
I think he is raiding some neighbor's stash.
If I call the cops can they follow him and shoot the dealer?
 
2013-09-04 11:54:57 AM  

ongbok: steamingpile: ongbok: steamingpile: CognaciousThunk: Well, if you're a black athlete, and you send yourself 2 pounds, you get 15 days in jail. Some difference :/

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120405/NEWS010704/304050027/Ben ga ls-WR-Simpson-serve-15-days-ja

Yeah he's a former athlete which is why he got jail time, most sports teams pull strings for players that get in trouble.

As someone else posted Nate Newton was transporting bales of pot and never served one day in jail. And to be fair, if you get caught with as much pot as the WR did you would spend years in prison not days just like Nate should have been sentenced to 20-30 years but since he was on a pro sports team he got off.

Nate Newton served 2.5 years in prison. He took a plea to conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance. Rumor is that he snitched on his supplier to get that sentence.

The second time is what did him in, besides 2 years for 400 pounds? Regular people get 20 years for that much and it wasn't his supplier, it was his partner in the transport. He got off light, just disproving the theory he only got out of jail time cause he was white.

Like I said before they say he ratted out his supplier, that is why he got off light. And he had two women with him the first time he was topped, and I'm pretty sure he was alone the second time. Plus he originally plead not guilty and spent 8 months in jail before he was sentenced. That points to him giving up somebody high up in the chain.


Or influence, just read the case and the only other one arrested in the case was his partner so nobody too high since it was his money that bought the drugs.

Point is that its not a racist court system but more of about wealth/class standing/influence as the Boobieser implied.
 
2013-09-04 11:55:11 AM  
Perez is one of the biggest assholes in the game, too bad MLB isn't taking any action.
 
2013-09-04 11:55:34 AM  
Dammit I knew it as I clicked add comment
 
2013-09-04 11:58:00 AM  
Too bad the Indidans will most likely get rid of him before next contract and promote one of their good setup men to closer, he could have been in on this WHEN it passes. http://medicalmarijuana.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=00248 1
 
2013-09-04 12:04:40 PM  

steamingpile: ongbok: steamingpile: ongbok: steamingpile: CognaciousThunk: Well, if you're a black athlete, and you send yourself 2 pounds, you get 15 days in jail. Some difference :/

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120405/NEWS010704/304050027/Ben ga ls-WR-Simpson-serve-15-days-ja

Yeah he's a former athlete which is why he got jail time, most sports teams pull strings for players that get in trouble.

As someone else posted Nate Newton was transporting bales of pot and never served one day in jail. And to be fair, if you get caught with as much pot as the WR did you would spend years in prison not days just like Nate should have been sentenced to 20-30 years but since he was on a pro sports team he got off.

Nate Newton served 2.5 years in prison. He took a plea to conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance. Rumor is that he snitched on his supplier to get that sentence.

The second time is what did him in, besides 2 years for 400 pounds? Regular people get 20 years for that much and it wasn't his supplier, it was his partner in the transport. He got off light, just disproving the theory he only got out of jail time cause he was white.

Like I said before they say he ratted out his supplier, that is why he got off light. And he had two women with him the first time he was topped, and I'm pretty sure he was alone the second time. Plus he originally plead not guilty and spent 8 months in jail before he was sentenced. That points to him giving up somebody high up in the chain.

Or influence, just read the case and the only other one arrested in the case was his partner so nobody too high since it was his money that bought the drugs.

Point is that its not a racist court system but more of about wealth/class standing/influence as the Boobieser implied.


And just maybe, what with the current state of affairs, you would not give someone with wealth and celebrity the opportunity to challenge the "laws" under which we prosecute MJ.
I do not see the legality of criminalizing weed in the manner it was done. Calling it "law" is just another lie.
Has to be a sharp enough lawyer out there if only given the chance.
 
2013-09-04 12:21:47 PM  
Have you been to Cleveland? Even a dog deserves to escape from 'the best location in the nation' once in awhile. 9 oz is just to get hin through the winter which starts in 3 weeks.
 
2013-09-04 12:42:50 PM  
How do they prove you asked for the weed?  Can I just mail baggies to people I don't like and "warn" the cops about it?
 
2013-09-04 12:44:43 PM  

CruJones: How do they prove you asked for the weed?  Can I just mail baggies to people I don't like and "warn" the cops about it?


Yes, but don't tell anybody. It is a cop secret.
 
2013-09-04 01:34:16 PM  

CruJones: How do they prove you asked for the weed?  Can I just mail baggies to people I don't like and "warn" the cops about it?


It's been done already.

http://krebsonsecurity.com/2013/07/mail-from-the-velvet-cybercrime-u nd erground/
 
2013-09-04 02:40:07 PM  

snocone: steamingpile: ongbok: steamingpile: ongbok: steamingpile: CognaciousThunk: Well, if you're a black athlete, and you send yourself 2 pounds, you get 15 days in jail. Some difference :/

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120405/NEWS010704/304050027/Ben ga ls-WR-Simpson-serve-15-days-ja

Yeah he's a former athlete which is why he got jail time, most sports teams pull strings for players that get in trouble.

As someone else posted Nate Newton was transporting bales of pot and never served one day in jail. And to be fair, if you get caught with as much pot as the WR did you would spend years in prison not days just like Nate should have been sentenced to 20-30 years but since he was on a pro sports team he got off.

Nate Newton served 2.5 years in prison. He took a plea to conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance. Rumor is that he snitched on his supplier to get that sentence.

The second time is what did him in, besides 2 years for 400 pounds? Regular people get 20 years for that much and it wasn't his supplier, it was his partner in the transport. He got off light, just disproving the theory he only got out of jail time cause he was white.

Like I said before they say he ratted out his supplier, that is why he got off light. And he had two women with him the first time he was topped, and I'm pretty sure he was alone the second time. Plus he originally plead not guilty and spent 8 months in jail before he was sentenced. That points to him giving up somebody high up in the chain.

Or influence, just read the case and the only other one arrested in the case was his partner so nobody too high since it was his money that bought the drugs.

Point is that its not a racist court system but more of about wealth/class standing/influence as the Boobieser implied.

And just maybe, what with the current state of affairs, you would not give someone with wealth and celebrity the opportunity to challenge the "laws" under which we prosecute MJ.
I do not see the legality of criminalizing weed in the manner it was done. Calling it "law" is just another lie.
Has to be a sharp enough lawyer out there if only given the chance.


I don't get what you typed at all, if you're saying pot shouldn't be illegal I agree but laws are only applied differently because DA is a position won through elections. A few get screwed so the DA can hold them up and scream "see I'm tough on crime!" There needs to be someone who oversees decisions DAs make and adjust them accordingly.

My point is still that the judicial system is not racist, it punishes the stupid, if you can't play the game and act civilized in court while dressing the part or you can't avoid getting arrested every 6 months then you deserve to be in prison.
 
2013-09-04 03:54:31 PM  

steamingpile: ongbok: steamingpile: ongbok: steamingpile: CognaciousThunk: Well, if you're a black athlete, and you send yourself 2 pounds, you get 15 days in jail. Some difference :/

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120405/NEWS010704/304050027/Ben ga ls-WR-Simpson-serve-15-days-ja

Yeah he's a former athlete which is why he got jail time, most sports teams pull strings for players that get in trouble.

As someone else posted Nate Newton was transporting bales of pot and never served one day in jail. And to be fair, if you get caught with as much pot as the WR did you would spend years in prison not days just like Nate should have been sentenced to 20-30 years but since he was on a pro sports team he got off.

Nate Newton served 2.5 years in prison. He took a plea to conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance. Rumor is that he snitched on his supplier to get that sentence.

The second time is what did him in, besides 2 years for 400 pounds? Regular people get 20 years for that much and it wasn't his supplier, it was his partner in the transport. He got off light, just disproving the theory he only got out of jail time cause he was white.

Like I said before they say he ratted out his supplier, that is why he got off light. And he had two women with him the first time he was topped, and I'm pretty sure he was alone the second time. Plus he originally plead not guilty and spent 8 months in jail before he was sentenced. That points to him giving up somebody high up in the chain.

Or influence, just read the case and the only other one arrested in the case was his partner so nobody too high since it was his money that bought the drugs.

Point is that its not a racist court system but more of about wealth/class standing/influence as the Boobieser implied.


Like I said his supplier. If you rat out the supplier the police don't always arrest them immediately. They often investigate to see were he leads to, and maybe arrest him down the road and get him to flip.
 
2013-09-04 04:59:23 PM  

westpointer: Old news is so exciting.

From his Wikipedia page:
Perez and his wife were arrested on June 4, 2013 in Rocky River, Ohio on drug possession charges.



From the article: Cleveland Indians closer Chris Perez was fined $250 and sentenced to a one year of probation after pleading no contest to misdemeanor charges stemming from his June arrest

Not sure why you had to go to Wikipedia to tell us something that was in the first farking sentence of the article.

He was arrested in June. He was sentenced in September.

/new news is so boring
 
2013-09-04 07:18:00 PM  
www.hollywoodreporter.com
 
2013-09-04 07:48:38 PM  
"But you can't give Chris detention, he has to play in the big game!"

High school never ends for these guys.  No wonder so many of them seem to be petulant assholes.
 
2013-09-05 03:35:14 AM  
i.qkme.me
 
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