If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(KERO 23 Bakersfield)   Study finds that six men per day wind up in the emergency room due to zipper induced penis injuries. "This is important for (physician) training because the next generation of doctors needs to know how to release the zipper from the penis"   (turnto23.com) divider line 87
    More: Scary, emergency rooms, injury prevention, study period, UCSF  
•       •       •

3432 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Sep 2013 at 12:29 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



87 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-09-03 10:47:56 PM
It was a spider, I'm afraid of spiders, so I got the vacuum.  I put the vaseline down to stop the spider and suck him up with the vacuum.
 
2013-09-03 11:33:52 PM
Beans and franks?
 
2013-09-03 11:38:57 PM
beyondthebarbell.com
 
2013-09-03 11:40:40 PM
They need to learn mechanically how you unwedge it from the penis without damaging it.

Without damaging the zipper or the penis?
 
2013-09-04 12:09:06 AM
Ow ow ow ow ow.
 
2013-09-04 12:30:48 AM
Ha ha! You all made fun of me when I went sweatpants-only, but whose laughing now zipperdicks!?
 
2013-09-04 12:31:33 AM
And this, gentlemen, is the primary argument against going commando.
 
2013-09-04 12:32:23 AM
I still have a small scar.

/Well, it looks small in comparison.
 
2013-09-04 12:32:45 AM

usernameguy: Beans and franks?


Apos: [beyondthebarbell.com image 300x184]


And we're done here.
 
2013-09-04 12:32:49 AM
One can only hope these morons are severing their vas deferens in the process, but they are probably only catching the tip.
 
2013-09-04 12:33:19 AM
Problem solved ..

www.utilikilts.com
 
2013-09-04 12:34:51 AM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-04 12:36:39 AM
I have three numbers for zipper boys: 5 - 0 - 1.

Haven't looked back since my first pair.
 
2013-09-04 12:36:54 AM
Button fly or boxer briefs. There is no need for jockey briefs.
 
2013-09-04 12:37:11 AM
real bad childhood memory right there. farking horrible.
 
2013-09-04 12:37:11 AM
It's the sort of mistake which a boy makes, at most, once in his life. Luckily my grandmother was a former nurse and I didn't need an ER.
 
2013-09-04 12:37:34 AM
A moment of silence for our fallen brethren...
 
2013-09-04 12:39:06 AM
I know a guy who legitimately accidentally slammed a drawer closed on his penis.  I don't mean closed the drawer, he slammed the drawer closed.  On his penis.  I'll never forget that scream.  It was horrible.  There was blood.  That was also the day that I learned that no matter how sympathetic I genuinely am, I have a habit of laughing at very inappropriate times.
 
2013-09-04 12:39:51 AM
we actually got taught how to do this in our emergency medicine class
 
2013-09-04 12:40:26 AM
"How'd ya get the beans above the frank?"
 
2013-09-04 12:40:58 AM
Razors??? wtf
Outside of porn are there actually dudes that shave their crotch?
 
2013-09-04 12:41:29 AM

axeeugene: I have three numbers for zipper boys: 5 - 0 - 1.

Haven't looked back since my first pair.


Same here.  Only time I'm in trousers with a zipper is when it's formal wear.  And only then because nobody accepts "formal kilt" as formal wear for the things I have to go to.

/Discrimination, I tell you.
 
2013-09-04 12:41:39 AM
I was 15 and forced to cut the zipper out of my jeans so I could slowly....so slowly.....run it backwards.

there was blood, yes there was, but if I can do that.....I can do anything!
 
2013-09-04 12:42:40 AM
Stick pretty strictly to button fly. Better airflow too. :)
 
2013-09-04 12:43:45 AM
I assume you just unzip the zipper from the penis by pulling on the zipper pull as hard as you can.
 
2013-09-04 12:45:02 AM

Chinchillazilla: I assume you just unzip the zipper from the penis by pulling on the zipper pull as hard as you can.


I hope when you die, you suffer
 
2013-09-04 12:46:55 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-04 12:47:54 AM
It's not just us guys. Had an ex who had a pair of those back-to-front zip vinyl fetish panty things. She caught a labia.

/Told her not to go commando in it.
 
2013-09-04 12:48:09 AM
It reminds me of
this
scene from one of my favorite movies.
 
2013-09-04 12:48:45 AM
Button flys are ridiculous.  The only times I have ever come close to nipping my junk is if I'm commando, which doesn't happen anymore since I settled down and the laundry gets done regularly.
 
2013-09-04 12:49:07 AM

DeadGeek: It's not just us guys. Had an ex who had a pair of those back-to-front zip vinyl fetish panty things. She caught a labia.

/Told her not to go commando in it.


yeeeahch. gdbdsjbg. Oh christ that sounds terrible.
 
2013-09-04 12:51:23 AM

IbiEvacua: DeadGeek: It's not just us guys. Had an ex who had a pair of those back-to-front zip vinyl fetish panty things. She caught a labia.

/Told her not to go commando in it.

yeeeahch. gdbdsjbg. Oh christ that sounds terrible.


The scream was blood curdling. It's just more proof that thongs are useful.
 
2013-09-04 12:56:23 AM

Ima4nic8or: Razors??? wtf
Outside of porn are there actually dudes that shave their crotch?


076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com


There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking. I suggest you try it.
 
2013-09-04 01:00:06 AM
Not as bad as getting your balls ensnared in your fly.

/long balls Larry
 
2013-09-04 01:03:46 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Ha ha! You all made fun of me when I went sweatpants-only, but whose laughing now zipperdicks!?


This made me laugh.
 
2013-09-04 01:09:38 AM

Ivo Shandor: It's the sort of mistake which a boy makes, at most, once in his life. Luckily my grandmother was a former nurse and I didn't need an ER.


Agreed. I thought this was something boys learned when little and wisely avoided thereafter.

Sort of like "young adults" drinking until they puke and then modifying their drinking so they don't puke as adults.

Maybe the adult zipper victims are also pukers and find it hard to piss and puke at the same time.
 
2013-09-04 01:10:29 AM
I think this is where I'm supposed to tell the story about how my brother got his dick stuck in a fence but I'm tired.  Maybe next time.
 
2013-09-04 01:10:29 AM

Ima4nic8or: Razors??? wtf
Outside of porn are there actually dudes that shave their crotch?


Shave not so much it itches worse then crabs when it grows back but I use the trimmer and keep things nice and clean
 
2013-09-04 01:12:26 AM
True story:
I was pitching, got hit squarely by a line drive. My teammates/laughing assbites said I went down like all my nerves just shut off. I could assure them that not one damn nerve in my groin shut off. I still remember the explosion of pain, it seemed to last forever.
 
2013-09-04 01:26:04 AM

JonZoidberg: Button flys are ridiculous.


Says you. I find them the most comfortable and least troublesome jeans I've ever owned. I have a few straggling pairs of zippered jeans in my closet, and every time I pull one out accidentally, I check to make sure there isn't a clean pair of 501s left instead. I hate zippered pants now.
 
2013-09-04 01:29:11 AM
weknowmemes.com
 
2013-09-04 01:30:42 AM
cdn.uproxx.com
 
2013-09-04 01:32:09 AM
www.demotivationalposters.org
 
2013-09-04 01:41:13 AM
When it happens to me I find the best solution is to let go of the zipper and pants and not even think about looking at the penis. Next, I jump up and down until gravity pulls the pants to the floor forcing the zipper teeth to release my penis. This has been working for 20 or so years, any other suggestions?
 
2013-09-04 01:50:55 AM
In 30 years, I've never once caught my penis in my jeans.  Ever.  I've gotten my pubes snagged more than a couple of times, but never the shaft or even the sack.  I think my dad scared the hell out of me when I was younger with some story about a guy getting a little stuck and tugging on it, only to have it get infected and later amputated.  I don't know if it was true, but I've always been extra careful when it comes to my pecker.
 
2013-09-04 01:54:55 AM
I don't understand how someone could do that, if not going commando. I just tuck it into the tighty-whiteys first, never had a problem.

Then it hangs down the leg, you see, and I tuck the tip in the sock.


/pro tip: don't wear sandals
//or play soccer
 
2013-09-04 01:55:25 AM

gadian: I know a guy who legitimately accidentally slammed a drawer closed on his penis.  I don't mean closed the drawer, he slammed the drawer closed.  On his penis.  I'll never forget that scream.  It was horrible.  There was blood.  That was also the day that I learned that no matter how sympathetic I genuinely am, I have a habit of laughing at very inappropriate times.


I'd laugh at that too, and then also feel bad about laughing. It would be much better all round if the people who do not want to be laughed at, did not hurt themselves in hilarious ways.
 
2013-09-04 02:05:00 AM

gerbilpox: if not going commando


That's when it usually happens.  I mean, you know.  I assume.
 
2013-09-04 02:18:27 AM
my cock is in a sock
striped purple, black, and orange.
her sock is on my cock.

/luckily she has small feet
 
2013-09-04 02:18:36 AM
I understand the zipper but not the toilet seat. How does that work?
 
Displayed 50 of 87 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report