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(Fark)   Time for another round of Whose Fark Is It Anyway, the game where everyone's drunk and nothing matters. Tonight's topic: Things not to do in bed   (fark.com) divider line 250
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3899 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Sep 2013 at 9:38 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



250 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-03 10:08:49 PM
Seriously, nobody said "rape" yet?  Because that's a valid answer.  "Don't rape in bed."
 
2013-09-03 10:09:17 PM
Build a huge scale model of the Devil's Tower.
 
2013-09-03 10:10:09 PM
Yell out "Now YOU have herpes!"
 
2013-09-03 10:10:25 PM
"Oh NOW I remember what it was called: The clap. That a problem for you?"
 
2013-09-03 10:10:29 PM

revrendjim: Bathia_Mapes: Slaughter a chicken

Choking still OK?


It's worked for BSU
 
2013-09-03 10:10:29 PM
"They're just skin tags, I swear!"
 
2013-09-03 10:10:31 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: poodebunker: cman: Sleep with your finger in your girlfriends vagina the whole night

Lol...why? Will it bite your finger in the morning?

It'll be like a Chinese finger trap when you wake up


Roflmao!!!!
 
2013-09-03 10:10:55 PM
I'm surprised no one has said "neighbors children" yet
 
2013-09-03 10:10:59 PM
Poop.
 
2013-09-03 10:11:05 PM
Break out the briefcase, a portrait of George Washington, and a heavy-duty 12-volt power supply.
 
2013-09-03 10:11:37 PM
vote republican
 
2013-09-03 10:12:21 PM
Sext their mom from their phone.
 
2013-09-03 10:12:23 PM
Sing Bob and Tom's "Cleveland Steamer" song.
 
2013-09-03 10:13:04 PM
Fall asleep with Courtney Love.
 
2013-09-03 10:13:26 PM

ekdikeo4: Surprise buttsex


No, it's should NOT do.
 
2013-09-03 10:13:32 PM

Purelilac: Eat crackers.


This!  My ex-gf called me once after she spent the night, ( was still GF at the time) said she was eating crackers in my bed after I said no food in the bedroom.   Points to ex-gf as part of the reason why we did not last.
 
2013-09-03 10:13:43 PM
Back in the 90's I bought a few of those condoms from the mens room at the bar.
A novelty item.It would show green in the dark where yor D*ck had been.or where she grabbed it and wiped it on the sheets..It looked like a crime scene..It was her bed..
Yeah...don't do this.
 
2013-09-03 10:14:04 PM

shifty lookin bleeder: cousins


I'll tell you this is bullshiat.  I did cousins in bed and it was the most erotic experience of my life.

That is, they weren't my cousins.  They were cousins to each other.  Red-headed female teenagers.
 
2013-09-03 10:14:53 PM
Get drunk and fall asleep eating a hoagie in your waterbed, and have the unfinished 8 inches of the sandwich fall in between the mattress and the liner, and mummify for a year or two, until it is re-discovered by a bridesmaid that you took home after a buddy's wedding?
 
2013-09-03 10:15:07 PM

frostus: ekdikeo4: Surprise buttsex

No, it's should NOT do.


Look, once she's facedown  and the handcuffs and ballgag are on nice and tight, nothing that happens should be a surprise.
 
2013-09-03 10:15:40 PM
"Look! Look! I can totally do the triple backward flip!"
 
2013-09-03 10:16:01 PM

Wireless Joe: Seriously, nobody said "rape" yet?  Because that's a valid answer.  "Don't rape in bed."


Ya know some of us aren't just back alley or wooded area rapists.  We prefer the comfort of our own room or rape dungeon.  It doesnt take a ton of effort to show a little bit of class.
 
2013-09-03 10:16:07 PM
Use the term 'minge'. Often.
 
2013-09-03 10:16:21 PM
Herd alpacas.
 
2013-09-03 10:16:47 PM

Molavian: shifty lookin bleeder: cousins

I'll tell you this is bullshiat.  I did cousins in bed and it was the most erotic experience of my life.

That is, they weren't my cousins.  They were cousins to each other.  Red-headed female teenagers.


I did my cousin once. Found later we were only cousins by marriage so it doesn't seem as hot anymore, but still. Hyooooge tits.
 
2013-09-03 10:18:34 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Molavian: shifty lookin bleeder: cousins

I'll tell you this is bullshiat.  I did cousins in bed and it was the most erotic experience of my life.

That is, they weren't my cousins.  They were cousins to each other.  Red-headed female teenagers.

I did my cousin once. Found later we were only cousins by marriage so it doesn't seem as hot anymore, but still. Hyooooge tits.


Well, that's ok.  Nothing wrong with that.
 
2013-09-03 10:18:57 PM

Banned on the Run: Herd alpacas.


Herding alpacas should totally be a euphemism.
 
2013-09-03 10:19:25 PM
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-09-03 10:19:36 PM

JameZZ82: I'm surprised no one has said "neighbors children" yet


Why do you think I have a bed in the first place?
 
2013-09-03 10:19:57 PM
Offer free candy to little children
 
2013-09-03 10:20:00 PM
Twenty three year olds
 
2013-09-03 10:21:08 PM
Play loud music late at night.  Seriously, you have neighbors, and that goodbye horses song is creepy.
 
2013-09-03 10:21:24 PM
 
2013-09-03 10:21:38 PM
Drink red wine. Regardless if a bowling ball is dropped or not.
 
2013-09-03 10:22:04 PM
Why has nobody said "Stick your dick in crazy!"?
 
2013-09-03 10:22:37 PM
Falsify your taxes.
 
2013-09-03 10:24:16 PM

Molavian: shifty lookin bleeder: cousins

I'll tell you this is bullshiat.  I did cousins in bed and it was the most erotic experience of my life.

That is, they weren't my cousins.  They were cousins to each other.  Red-headed female teenagers.


Go on...
 
2013-09-03 10:24:19 PM
Have sex with crazy friends:  We were friends for years, she got drunk at a bar and we went to my house.   She came onto me and she initiated sex.
Once we were done she squatted and pissed the bed.
The whole time I am watching in slow motion ...wut ... oh.. a performance..!......  wait ... oh fark... noo...noooo..WTFOMG...dammit.....
 
2013-09-03 10:26:23 PM
Pray the gay away
 
2013-09-03 10:26:42 PM

rev. dave: Have sex with crazy friends:  We were friends for years, she got drunk at a bar and we went to my house.   She came onto me and she initiated sex.
Once we were done she squatted and pissed the bed.
The whole time I am watching in slow motion ...wut ... oh.. a performance..!......  wait ... oh fark... noo...noooo..WTFOMG...dammit.....


Can... can I get her #?
 
2013-09-03 10:28:14 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: rev. dave: Have sex with crazy friends:  We were friends for years, she got drunk at a bar and we went to my house.   She came onto me and she initiated sex.
Once we were done she squatted and pissed the bed.
The whole time I am watching in slow motion ...wut ... oh.. a performance..!......  wait ... oh fark... noo...noooo..WTFOMG...dammit.....

Can... can I get her #?


Number 1.

/thank you! I'm here all week!
 
2013-09-03 10:28:14 PM
Puke your boyfriends sperm in his face and yell "Surprise! Reverse facial!"
 
2013-09-03 10:28:24 PM
 
2013-09-03 10:28:31 PM
Say in your best Liberace voice "I wish my brother George was here"
 
2013-09-03 10:28:33 PM
Nancy Grace
 
2013-09-03 10:29:02 PM

MrHappyRotter: Twenty three year olds


36/2+5=23.  Twenty three year olds are ok.
 
2013-09-03 10:29:45 PM

Sensei Can You See: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: rev. dave: Have sex with crazy friends:  We were friends for years, she got drunk at a bar and we went to my house.   She came onto me and she initiated sex.
Once we were done she squatted and pissed the bed.
The whole time I am watching in slow motion ...wut ... oh.. a performance..!......  wait ... oh fark... noo...noooo..WTFOMG...dammit.....

Can... can I get her #?

Number 1.

/thank you! I'm here all week!


I would say try the veal, but I think rev. dave already tried it...
 
2013-09-03 10:29:46 PM
This thread should have been a Photoshop!
 
2013-09-03 10:31:11 PM

Smeggy Smurf: MrHappyRotter: Twenty three year olds

36/2+5=23.  Twenty three year olds are ok.


But there's twenty of them.

That's like...an entire day care and would take forever.
 
2013-09-03 10:32:18 PM
Mom?
 
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