Hasan chopped, man at Home Depot successfully locates a ho, and Victoria's Secret models giving out handjobs: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/25 - 8/31
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-09-03 3:50:57 PM (12 comments) | Permalink
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Getting this out today, since yesterday was a holiday. Cheers!
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-08-25 to Sat 2013-08-31:
Leaks in Fukushima No. 1 radioactive water tank attributed to blown seals. Yet another fetish that ends badly for all concerned
Listening to their favorite music makes teens drive badly, according to terrified researchers covered in tread marks
Introducing the Megaburgerpizza, which is either a new Japanese fast food invention or a SyFy original movie
"Married with children" is on the decline, as the U.S. Census Bureau has made so Al Bundyntly clear
Inmate dies in prison after decades-long fight. WHERE THE HELL WERE THE GUARDS?
Man goes into Home Depot shed looking for a ho and finds one
California wildfires prompts unhealthy air warnings in Nevada. Air quality now rated between "casino" and "brothel"
San Diego mayor waves goodbye. With his hand this time
Obama asks Congress to include strikes on Syria in their next attempt to repeal Obamacare
You're supposed to put the lime in the coconut, not the coke in the lime, you nut
The Bills sign Matt Leinart. On purpose
Sprinklers go off during 4th inning of Colorado Rockies' game, giving Coors Field an even closer resemblance to its namesake
Babies remember words heard before birth. OH MY GOD
Researchers performed first non-invasive brain-to-brain interface. In totally unrelated news: Victoria's Secret model inexplicably begins giving out hand-jobs at MIT
Article: Why do poisonous caterpillars jump? In other news, THERE ARE POISONOUS CATERPILLARS THAT JUMP
Lindsay Lohan tells Oprah that she gave cocaine 10 to 15 tries then decided she'd be better off without it. Ironically, that's the same way Hollywood now looks at Lindsay
Chris Brown beats nightclub charges
How Macklemore is like Martin Luther King. Man, I remember MLK's "I Got a Great Deal On This Suit" speech
Old man yells at cloud
Washington DC will bid on the 2024 Olympics. Plans include lighting the Olympic flame only after an 11th hour House resolution to pay the gas bill for the cauldron
Judge: U.S. can't deny benefits to lesbian war vet's wife. In other news, there's been a lesbian war
George Lucas invests $10 million in Starbucks. So this is how the evil Empire begins
After restructuring, Chiquita's earnings are no longer slipping
Health inspectors close second Family Dollar store for rat infestation. In other news, Family Dollar will be adding a Pet Department
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