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(NBC News)   What's in the box?   (worldnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 99
    More: Sick, Kenyans, police corruption, Johnston Kavuludi, Transparency International, Mombasa  
•       •       •

17753 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Sep 2013 at 3:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



99 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-03 02:18:12 PM  
Heisenberg?
 
2013-09-03 02:23:44 PM  
"The parcel was left in a flowerbed outside the body's headquarters in Nairobi. "

I'm not sure if that sentence was intentionally ambiguous or not.
 
2013-09-03 02:25:56 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-03 02:39:45 PM  
Pain is in the box
 
2013-09-03 02:51:05 PM  

naughtyrev: [i.imgur.com image 320x134]


and that pretty much covers it all.
 
2013-09-03 02:57:44 PM  
It also included a set of hands, possibly of the jazz variety.  The article failed to specify.
 
2013-09-03 03:21:50 PM  
Jack in the box
 
2013-09-03 03:22:08 PM  
Packages should be clearly labeled
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-03 03:24:00 PM  
He has to send a human head to someone else now?

images.sodahead.com
 
2013-09-03 03:24:35 PM  
i567.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-03 03:24:41 PM  
static.tvtropes.org
 
2013-09-03 03:25:37 PM  
Do you think they threw some packing peanuts in there? Maybe some bubble wrap? I know I would, but I'm pretty OCD when it comes to packaging things.
 
2013-09-03 03:26:33 PM  
Unimpressed

www.imfdb.org
 
2013-09-03 03:27:57 PM  

FloydA: Packages should be clearly labeled
[i105.photobucket.com image 282x179]


Good think you don't wear wolverines...

naughtyrev: [i.imgur.com image 320x134]


Epic.
 
2013-09-03 03:28:06 PM  
GIS for box:
graphics8.nytimes.com

I don't get it.
 
2013-09-03 03:28:30 PM  

naughtyrev: [i.imgur.com image 320x134]


i249.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-03 03:29:37 PM  

FloydA: Packages should be clearly labeled
[i105.photobucket.com image 282x179]


Schrodinger? Is that you?
 
2013-09-03 03:29:40 PM  
I'll take the red snapper, thankyouverymuch.
 
2013-09-03 03:30:13 PM  

naughtyrev:


That's just epic...
 
2013-09-03 03:30:34 PM  
img.fark.net

Nothing!  Absolutely nothing!  STUPID!  You so STUPID!
 
2013-09-03 03:31:04 PM  
i.qkme.me
It's a booger! You so stupid!!!
www.sarahsensei.net
 
2013-09-03 03:31:19 PM  

Riche: GIS for box:
[graphics8.nytimes.com image 600x370]

I don't get it.


Box office hit?
 
2013-09-03 03:31:31 PM  
I asked Schrodinger.
He just shrugged.
 
2013-09-03 03:31:37 PM  

poonesfarm: Do you think they threw some packing peanuts in there? Maybe some bubble wrap? I know I would, but I'm pretty OCD when it comes to packaging things.


Well I hope so. Otherwise that thing would be rolling around in there, bouncing off the sides, getting head juice all over the place.

Peanuts and bubble wrap are the minimum you want to do if you're boxing up a head. Or so I would think.
 
2013-09-03 03:32:28 PM  
If they fingerprint the severed hands I bet they can find the Sloth guy before he dies if they hurry.
 
2013-09-03 03:32:49 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Riche: GIS for box:
[graphics8.nytimes.com image 600x370]

I don't get it.

Box office hit?


You lazy bastard Riche.  If you click or mouse over the image, it's titled "Hollywood Rebounds at the Box Office."

The problem is that you don't "get" how to use The Google!  :)
 
2013-09-03 03:33:07 PM  
Damn, Se7en came out 18 years ago
 
2013-09-03 03:33:21 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-09-03 03:34:17 PM  

give me doughnuts: I asked Schrodinger.
He just shrugged.


That guy might not have been dead until the box was opened.
 
2013-09-03 03:34:54 PM  

xanadian: FloydA: Packages should be clearly labeled
[i105.photobucket.com image 282x179]

Schrodinger? Is that you?


Well, yes and no.
 
2013-09-03 03:34:56 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Damn, Se7en came out 18 years ago


Ha. That means my brother took me to see it in the theater when I was 11. Thanks bro!
 
2013-09-03 03:35:15 PM  
Aw how nice. He's helping him out with his own Johnny Longtorso set.

thefwoosh.com

He's LONG!
 
2013-09-03 03:36:49 PM  
30.media.tumblr.com

Let's do as many references to pop-culture as possible.
 
2013-09-03 03:37:15 PM  
Austin Powers: Not the time to lose one's head.

Vanessa Kensington: No.

Austin Powers: That's not the way to get ahead in life.

Vanessa Kensington: No.

Austin Powers: It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong.

Vanessa Kensington: Hmm.

Austin Powers: He'll never be the head of a major corporation.

Vanessa Kensington: Okay, that'll do.

Austin Powers: Okay.
 
2013-09-03 03:37:30 PM  

offacue: give me doughnuts: I asked Schrodinger.
He just shrugged.

That guy might not have been dead until the box was opened.


So you're calling a Ricky Schrodinger's head box? That poor head could have lived for eternity in that box...or not.
 
2013-09-03 03:38:11 PM  
www.amothersthoughts.com


www.silverfishlongboarding.com
 
2013-09-03 03:38:42 PM  
1) Cut a hole in the box...
 
2013-09-03 03:38:59 PM  

darth_badger:


Is that the limit? Like you can only rape things under 40lbs?

/hopes so
//there's a petting zoo next door
///best of both worlds
 
2013-09-03 03:39:53 PM  

tetsoushima: [30.media.tumblr.com image 500x374]

Let's do as many references to pop-culture as possible.


i1.ytimg.com
I was just trying to get a head...
 
2013-09-03 03:40:09 PM  

Riche: GIS for box:
[graphics8.nytimes.com image 600x370]

I don't get it.



From an article....Hollywood Rebounds at the Box Office
 
2013-09-03 03:40:43 PM  
I was thinking...

unleashthefanboy.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-09-03 03:41:35 PM  
17f0418678386b4e6860-e4f9fcd924b589d19bf6ccc2802ea9aa.r66.cf1.rackcdn.com
 
2013-09-03 03:43:33 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
You're NESS!
 
2013-09-03 03:44:06 PM  
Wow! The studio is really going all out to promote this thing!

concertposter.org
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-09-03 03:44:16 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Riche: GIS for box:
[graphics8.nytimes.com image 600x370]

I don't get it.

Box office hit?


I'd hit this box office.....
iceknightconsulting.com
 
2013-09-03 03:46:27 PM  
I told them they should have taken the money.
 
2013-09-03 03:46:48 PM  

gja: Satanic_Hamster: Riche: GIS for box:
[graphics8.nytimes.com image 600x370]

I don't get it.

Box office hit?

I'd hit this box office.....
[iceknightconsulting.com image 600x450]


That's not a box office, it's a coontpit.
 
2013-09-03 03:49:14 PM  

kaylward: I was thinking...

[unleashthefanboy.s3.amazonaws.com image 425x315]


Came for this, leaving satisfied.

/kaylward should serve as an example to you all
//and the rest of you miserable slackers should be ashamed.
 
2013-09-03 03:49:57 PM  
For anything Kenya-related:

OnlyInKenya
 
2013-09-03 03:50:14 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: gja: Satanic_Hamster: Riche: GIS for box:
[graphics8.nytimes.com image 600x370]

I don't get it.

Box office hit?

I'd hit this box office.....
[iceknightconsulting.com image 600x450]

That's not a box office, it's a coontpit.


coontjunction.
 
db2
2013-09-03 03:53:26 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-03 03:55:38 PM  
It is a simple misunderstanding, someone over heard him tell his wife, "Gimme head".
 
2013-09-03 03:56:04 PM  

EvilEgg: Pain is in the box


Oh please refresh my memory! What *was* that?!
 
2013-09-03 03:57:00 PM  

jst3p: It is a simple misunderstanding, someone over heard him tell his wife, "Gimme head".


Good luck, Mr Gorsky.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-09-03 03:57:39 PM  

farkingismybusiness: Eddie Adams from Torrance: gja: Satanic_Hamster: Riche: GIS for box:
[graphics8.nytimes.com image 600x370]

I don't get it.

Box office hit?

I'd hit this box office.....
[iceknightconsulting.com image 600x450]

That's not a box office, it's a coontpit.

coontjunction.


Yeah, right. Sharp knees and all that crap? Like you wouldn't hit that....
 
2013-09-03 03:57:55 PM  
a red-haired guy with no legs

/alpha flight
 
2013-09-03 03:57:58 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-09-03 03:59:33 PM  

Coming on a Bicycle: EvilEgg: Pain is in the box

Oh please refresh my memory! What *was* that?!


Dun' know what you're on about there :)
 
2013-09-03 04:00:12 PM  
i1153.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-03 04:00:17 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-03 04:01:09 PM  
img24.imageshack.us

/I love 7even but that scene has the worst acting of Pitt's career (just beating out his indecipherable Pikey accent)
 
2013-09-03 04:01:33 PM  
blindscribblings.com
 
2013-09-03 04:01:38 PM  
Another, slightly smaller box?
 
2013-09-03 04:02:28 PM  

Marine1: kaylward: I was thinking...

[unleashthefanboy.s3.amazonaws.com image 425x315]

Came for this, leaving satisfied.

/kaylward should serve as an example to you all
//and the rest of you miserable slackers should be ashamed.


Except that was covered much more effectively in post number 3.
 
2013-09-03 04:04:24 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Satanic_Hamster: Riche: GIS for box:
[graphics8.nytimes.com image 600x370]

I don't get it.

Box office hit?

You lazy bastard Riche.  If you click or mouse over the image, it's titled "Hollywood Rebounds at the Box Office."

The problem is that you don't "get" how to use The Google!  :)


Meh.  I thought it would be more fun to have me and everybody else guess than look up the probably boring actual answer.

Google/Reverse Google Image Search/Wikipedia has taken all the fun out of "WTF?" type mysteries.

/At least The Avengers movie ROCKED
 
2013-09-03 04:07:45 PM  
FTA: A box containing a severed human head and two hands has been sent to the boss of Kenya's police commission with a note saying "you are next," an official said.

si0.twimg.com

/would like a word
 
2013-09-03 04:08:28 PM  
doyner: "The parcel was left in a flowerbed outside the body's headquarters in Nairobi. "

I'm not sure if that sentence was intentionally ambiguous teh funnie or not.
 
2013-09-03 04:12:11 PM  

gja: I'd hit this box office.....


The one on the upper right:


It's probably just the awkward angle with her stretching while looking back.  I hope.
 
2013-09-03 04:13:13 PM  
A-tiskit, a-tasket
Who's in the leaden casket?


Footnotes
1. Rhyme first recorded in America in 1879.
2. Later became the AIDS slogan "A-tiskit, a-taskit, a condom or a casket."
3. This variant traceable back to Richard Armour's  Twisted Tales from Shakespeare, a burlesque on Shakespearean criticism and teaching. It conflates some business with caskets (boxes rather than coffins) in Shakespeare with a popular the popular jazz song sung by Ella Fitzgerald in 1938"
4. Jokes are always funnier when you belabour them at great length. See the Chicken Fight gag on Family Guy. It starts out not funny, but it goes on and on, and then it's not funny, and yet it still goes on interminably and it's still not funny. In fact, that seems to be the whole point of Fox's decision to air Family Guy forever after dumping it for a short time.
 
2013-09-03 04:14:49 PM  
*** Let's try that again ***

gja: I'd hit this box office.....

The one on the upper right:

i181.photobucket.com

It's probably just the awkward angle with her stretching while looking back.  I hope.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-09-03 04:19:53 PM  

Riche: *** Let's try that again ***

gja: I'd hit this box office.....

The one on the upper right:

[i181.photobucket.com image 290x259]

It's probably just the awkward angle with her stretching while looking back.  I hope.


Yeah, it actually is. But the jpeg that shows that is only a hi-rez and huge and I don't wanna link that in. She has :::ahem::: ample bosom (hubba-hubba)
 
2013-09-03 04:27:58 PM  
How do you expect to win if you only send in one box top?
 
2013-09-03 04:28:42 PM  
You didn't open it did you?
farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2013-09-03 04:32:05 PM  

EvilEgg: Pain is in the box


Are you suggesting a duke's son is an animal?
 
2013-09-03 04:32:50 PM  

xanadian: FloydA: Packages should be clearly labeled
[i105.photobucket.com image 282x179]

Schrodinger? Is that you?


Well .... yes and no.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-09-03 04:35:49 PM  

EvilEgg: Pain is in the box


How dare you us that word!

therealmcast.com
 
2013-09-03 04:37:10 PM  
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-09-03 04:43:22 PM  
I bet some African criminal was like "hey, let's put the feet in there too!" and all the other criminals thought was he sick or something. It's simply not done.
 
2013-09-03 04:48:41 PM  
nab that nubian and run his ass to Mexico.
 
2013-09-03 04:52:30 PM  
I got this on a fortune cookie once...

//mmmmm...cookies...
 
2013-09-03 04:53:09 PM  
Cox-in-a-box?
 
2013-09-03 04:59:23 PM  
I'll bet if Christianity were introduced to Kenya, shiat like this would taper off.

*checks Wikipedia*

Okay, I'll bet if more than 83% of the Kenyan population were Christian, shiat like this would taper off.

Malachi 3:8-11
 
2013-09-03 05:05:38 PM  
i3.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-03 05:25:33 PM  
What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the{thump} Open it.

/Extremely obscure.
 
2013-09-03 05:31:28 PM  

give me doughnuts: I asked Schrodinger.
He just shrugged.


That's the best one.
 
2013-09-03 05:36:56 PM  
A man. There's a man in the box.
Who is this man? Why is he in a box?

You should ask your host, Lin Ye Tang.

i1.ytimg.com
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-09-03 05:41:29 PM  

dmax: A man. There's a man in the box.
Who is this man? Why is he in a box?

You should ask your host, Lin Ye Tang.

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]


A man, you say? Do tell, what might he be covered in?
 
2013-09-03 07:00:20 PM  
You want a human head? Cause I can get you one by three this afternoon.
 
2013-09-03 07:01:59 PM  

dmax: A man. There's a man in the box.
Who is this man? Why is he in a box?

You should ask your host, Lin Ye Tang.

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]


Was the box in fact HELL?
 
2013-09-03 07:05:37 PM  
Okay, let's review: you've got a Hugo, a Little Joey, a Frank, a bad Stu...
 
2013-09-03 07:07:33 PM  
www.ausmotive.com
 
2013-09-03 07:23:38 PM  

schpanky: dmax: A man. There's a man in the box.
Who is this man? Why is he in a box?

You should ask your host, Lin Ye Tang.

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]

Was the box in fact HELL?


Do I still get paid?
 
2013-09-03 09:10:32 PM  
Cutting in to the pop culture references for a brief moment of annoyance:

"Was Kavuludi shocked on seeing the head? For sure. When you find something as nasty as this you get concerned,"

And now we return to Brad Pitt being concerned.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-09-03 10:27:46 PM  
lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-09-03 11:27:14 PM  

Marine1: kaylward: I was thinking...

[unleashthefanboy.s3.amazonaws.com image 425x315]

Came for this, leaving satisfied.

/kaylward should serve as an example to you all
//and the rest of you miserable slackers should be ashamed.


Or both of you could have looked at the third post of the thread.
 
2013-09-03 11:31:26 PM  
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-09-04 02:19:58 AM  
i235.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-04 10:30:14 AM  
www.explosm.net
 
2013-09-04 10:18:55 PM  
Never play with fire
Don't stare at the sun
Once you start you're never gonna stop
What's inside the box?
What's inside the box?

/sfw
//(perhaps justifiably obscure) '90's UofIllinoisatChampaign-Urbana indie college rock for the...win?
 
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