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(Talking Points Memo)   Assad: You attack me, I take this whole region down with me. The world hasn't seen such regional destruction since the Great War. Also, I look like Captain Darling. Your justification for war is invalid   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) divider line 47
    More: Scary, Syrian President Bashar, Le Figaro, french newspapers, regions, Heads of state of Syria  
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18072 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Sep 2013 at 9:44 AM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-09-03 10:02:33 AM
7 votes:

Unhip1: "I knew he was evil , because of his physical features.."
Really, guys?


ecetopuzlu.files.wordpress.com
2013-09-03 09:56:12 AM
4 votes:
There's nothing cushy about the Women's Auxiliary Balloon Corp!
2013-09-03 09:55:04 AM
4 votes:
I don't think the US will do much if anything to Syria. Obama is going through the proper channel in Congress, who has been unable to pass even the easiest of bills. So they will not give him authority to attack Syria. If he does skirt Congress after the vote, he'll have problems getting any upcoming fiscal issues resolved with Congressmen and at the same time will probably be impeached by the the knuckle draggers in the House, because that legislative body is run by retarded, sh*t-flinging monkeys.

I think Obama is forcing a House vote on a Syrian strike because 1) it's a lose-lose for anyone running for House in 2014 so it's like a big middle finger to Congress and the House in particular, 2) he doesn't really want to invade Syria and needs a way to back out, and 3) he doesn't want to be impeached.

Let's be perfectly honest, I really don't want to go to war. The only thing I'd be willing to stomach is maybe a no-fly zone set up and some drone strikes on chemical weapons capabilities, and that's it.

When's Elon Musk going to become Ironman?
2013-09-03 09:25:16 AM
4 votes:

Somacandra: [i.imgur.com image 305x349]  [i270.photobucket.com image 305x349]

Also, he looks like Balloony from Phineas and Ferb. And that's also always been a creepy-ass face.


It's his tiny features. Maybe this helps.

i.imgur.com
2013-09-03 11:03:49 AM
3 votes:
cnsnews.com

I can smell you from here.

www.theblaze.com

Seriously John, you smell like a  French whore.

thisainthell.us

Nancy, you smell like you couldn't dodge the mall perfume ladies.

s3-ec.buzzfed.com

This is better.  The smell of falafel masks you both.
2013-09-03 09:17:31 AM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com  i270.photobucket.com

Also, he looks like Balloony from Phineas and Ferb. And that's also always been a creepy-ass face.
2013-09-03 11:50:15 AM
2 votes:
So the "change" part of "hope and change" actually meant slightly changing the theater of war and expanding it.

/nobel peace prize winner
2013-09-03 10:54:47 AM
2 votes:
img.fark.netapi.ning.com
Am I the only one that sees it?

/probably
2013-09-03 10:47:16 AM
2 votes:

Sentient: Turn the "evidence" over to the UN and let China & Russia pretend it doesn't exist. That's it. Let history judge them, not us.

Meanwhile, use all that fancy stealth tech to start flying medical supplies & food into civilian areas. Like, carpet-bomb Syria with bandages, alcohol, and MREs. Completely disregard the regional fits about sovereignty and borders, just pretend that Syria's borders are completely meaningless.  If you really, really must blow something up, just knock down any aircraft or AA sites that threaten the food drops. And to cap it off, throw a few million at construction & services to the Syrian refugee camps, just to put a boot further up Assad's ass.

Completely disregarding Syria's borders will do far more to make Assad look powerless than any violence (which he survives) ever would. It's a clear answer to the "red line" problem Obama caused. Such an approach would pass through congress, and any biatching the UN or Arab States wants to do about 'unilateral action' will fall on deaf ears.

I'm tired of being the nation who responds to atrocities with destruction. If Syria wants to behave like a child, act like a parent.

Rant off.


I like this idea.  Let's take it further, and start sending busloads of overweight American tourists over to wander around the palace taking pictures with iphones.
2013-09-03 09:50:49 AM
2 votes:

Outrageous Muff: LasersHurt: Is it just me, or are some of these regional powers completely and totally unaware of how farked they'd be if they started a major war?

It's either that they're completely ignorant of their own capabilities and those of others, OR they know and are using rhetoric in the hopes it never comes to that.

Congrats on passing your first day of IR 101.


Ooh I love infrared
2013-09-03 01:38:32 PM
1 votes:
AllYourFarkAreBelongToMe:  He made a blanket statement (never a good idea) last year.  And no.  Even if congress wont give him approval, he's gonna act.  His ego will allow nothing less.  Did you forget that this guy spent nearly his entire first term doing nothing other than performing end-runs to get his beloved health-care plan rammed down the throats of the American people though the majority wanted none of it?  You mark my words.  Even without approval he's gonna do something.  I mean?  What else is a Nobel Peace Prize winner supposed to do other than start another war under these circumstances?  Besides when all's said and done he'll just figure out a way to blame it on Bush and 90% of Fark will back him up on the claim.  Now THAT would be brilliant.   :-)

Yes, he rammed healthcare down your throat.  Now suck it!  Suck on the misery of being able to afford medical treatment!  Isn't it humiliating?
2013-09-03 12:42:16 PM
1 votes:

netcentric: indarwinsshadow: LasersHurt: darwin

 It's Syria's civil war.   Do not meddle.


Originally I thought we had a chance, 2 years ago, to help out some good guys getting their shiat pushed in by brutal regime thugs.  But now, those good guys are mostly dead or fled, and it's a lot of bad guy vs bad guy at this point.  So, I'll just repost this:

i257.photobucket.com

/"surgical" strikes might still be an option IF Assad (or semi-rogue parts of his forces) did the attack
2013-09-03 12:36:08 PM
1 votes:

paygun: I remember when we elected this guy because he wasn't so eager to bomb brown people and make the whole world hate us for our meddling.


He lied.
Surprise!
2013-09-03 12:14:28 PM
1 votes:
Goodbye, Darling.
2013-09-03 12:08:54 PM
1 votes:
i41.tinypic.com

Had to make him look more evil.
Still think we need to stay the hell out of there.
2013-09-03 12:08:12 PM
1 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk

"You know the difference between you and me Barack?"

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

"What?"

3agelnetwork.com

"I make the sunglasses look good."
2013-09-03 12:05:51 PM
1 votes:

Cinaed: The chance for a regional war exists?
No shiat.


img.pandawhale.com
2013-09-03 12:01:49 PM
1 votes:
Good morning, Darling.
2013-09-03 11:59:31 AM
1 votes:
Dictators like to say stupid shiat like that, mostly for INTERNAL consumption.

farm4.staticflickr.com
2013-09-03 11:45:54 AM
1 votes:
Assad has really flown off the handle ever since he found out that Walt poisoned Brock.
2013-09-03 11:36:56 AM
1 votes:
beldar.blogs.com

""Everyone will lose control of the situation when the powder keg explodes. Chaos and extremism will be widespread. The risk of a regional war exists."
2013-09-03 11:26:40 AM
1 votes:

InfrasonicTom: Pick: I say lob a 250 Kt mini nuke on his palace while he's having lunch there.

then what?


Football season starts Thursday. So we do it in the morning and catch the game that evening. Friday, I'll go down to the Corner and have ribs at the Biltmore. I'm not sure what all that has to do with anything, but you did ask.
2013-09-03 11:26:16 AM
1 votes:
So... if we attack he'll start a war that has everyone in the region wiping out their neighbor, thus leaving nothing but a human free wasteland above a series of trillion dollar oil fields.
This was the "threat"?
Does he understand how threats work?

/Explain to me why we haven't fired the missiles yet?
/Did the sequester cut the drone inventory or something?
2013-09-03 11:22:33 AM
1 votes:

Carth: Kit Fister: dumbobruni: why is this so hard to understand? It doesn't matter which side used them, the weapons need to be destroyed regardless.

Okay, fine. UN inspectors find that such weapons were used, we send in the Navy SEALs in surgical strikes to locate and eliminate the stockpiles, and get the hell out.

Challenge: those sites are hospitals, schools and public buildings. We can't exactly send in special forces or hit them with missiles.


Not my problem. They should've thought about that before they built hospitals and schools on chemical weapons sites. Duh.
2013-09-03 11:18:21 AM
1 votes:
"Chaos and extremism will be widespread."


Uh... has he been outside of his palace before?
2013-09-03 11:12:32 AM
1 votes:
content6.flixster.com: Everyone will lose control of the situation when the powder keg explodes, chaos and extremism will be widespread
2013-09-03 11:08:57 AM
1 votes:

Billy Bathsalt: Sentient: Turn the "evidence" over to the UN and let China & Russia pretend it doesn't exist. That's it. Let history judge them, not us.

Meanwhile, use all that fancy stealth tech to start flying medical supplies & food into civilian areas. Like, carpet-bomb Syria with bandages, alcohol, and MREs. Completely disregard the regional fits about sovereignty and borders, just pretend that Syria's borders are completely meaningless.  If you really, really must blow something up, just knock down any aircraft or AA sites that threaten the food drops. And to cap it off, throw a few million at construction & services to the Syrian refugee camps, just to put a boot further up Assad's ass.

Completely disregarding Syria's borders will do far more to make Assad look powerless than any violence (which he survives) ever would. It's a clear answer to the "red line" problem Obama caused. Such an approach would pass through congress, and any biatching the UN or Arab States wants to do about 'unilateral action' will fall on deaf ears.

I'm tired of being the nation who responds to atrocities with destruction. If Syria wants to behave like a child, act like a parent.

Rant off.

I like this idea.  Let's take it further, and start sending busloads of overweight American tourists over to wander around the palace taking pictures with iphones.


Put a Starbucks next to a wal-mart (with another Starbucks inside the wal-mart), and schedule air drops of Entertainment Weekly. Syria would be ours in matter of weeks
2013-09-03 11:03:26 AM
1 votes:
He reminds me more of ole' Dimwit Flathead

images4.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-09-03 11:00:08 AM
1 votes:

Infernalist: Kit Fister: Infernalist: It should interest you to know that Turkey, Saudi Arabia and the UAE have volunteered their military assets in the case of authorized strikes on Syria. I suspect that they would be the ones doing the actual bombing, with the US playing a supporting role.

They are free to act without the US leading the charge or pushing for action.

If they want to do it, more power to them. it's not our job.

I'm sure the world will be a much better place if the Russians were the ones leading the world.  Or maybe the Chinese.

Or do you honestly think that neither nation would step up and take our place if for some inexplicable reason we decided to stop being in charge?


Again, it's not our job. And, we're *totally* leading the world right now, in obesity and that's about it.
2013-09-03 10:59:22 AM
1 votes:
Look, we're going to do what the Military Industrial Complex wants us to do, period.  Accept that.
In the mean time, is it just me or does he have the same feature set that Unka Mitty did?

static.tumblr.com

Big head, small face.
Didn't John Lee Hooker have a song like that?
2013-09-03 10:49:30 AM
1 votes:
Yo Assad I'm real happy for you and I'ma let you finish, but
Stalin had the best dictator mustache of all time!  OF ALL TIME
2013-09-03 10:46:36 AM
1 votes:
The USA getting entangled in a Middle East quagmire?
cdn.instanttrap.com
2013-09-03 10:46:13 AM
1 votes:
Familiar?
mimg.ugo.com
2013-09-03 10:44:34 AM
1 votes:
Another vote for staying the hell out of it. This is my opinion, and is in no way meant to be informed commentary on foreign policy or "telling other people what to think". I have no ties to the GOP and do not support them.

/covering my bases before 21-7-B shows up.
2013-09-03 10:31:18 AM
1 votes:

Shrugging Atlas: snocone: Ahh, I see his problem.
Like many, he assumes "the truth" has anything whatsoever to do with his sorry ass being removed.

Fools! Just like "the spoon", there is no true "truth", only theatre brought to you by the 1%.
You should feel swell. They still waste time manufacturing a "truth" for you.
Won't bother tomorrow.

I can actually visualize the  Che Guevara shirt you're wearing while you type that.


CHE LIVES!
2013-09-03 10:29:37 AM
1 votes:
He first has to unload a lorry load of paperclips.
2013-09-03 10:20:43 AM
1 votes:

YoOjo: His dildo got stuck up in his ass so he's not feeling too good, he'll behave just fine again once he gets a scare and sharts it back out.


Experience speaks...
2013-09-03 10:18:54 AM
1 votes:
img.fark.netimg.fark.net
2013-09-03 10:14:32 AM
1 votes:

LasersHurt: URAPNIS: Infernalist: snocone: Starting to leave a short list of the Arab nations we have not "liberated all to hell".

A very short list.
Whatever will we do next?

Syria is not going to be liberated by us.

Why not? Afghanistan was.

Nobody is suggesting anything even remotely LIKE Afghanistan.


Yea, there is NO farking opium in Syria.
2013-09-03 10:13:32 AM
1 votes:
Subby could get a job at Fox.
2013-09-03 10:09:58 AM
1 votes:

Unhip1: "I knew he was evil , because of his physical features.."
Really, guys?


An Arab who can't grow a decent mustache? And I suppose you're not the least bit concerned.
2013-09-03 10:02:38 AM
1 votes:
Also.
Assad?
More like Sad Ass, amirite?
2013-09-03 09:53:52 AM
1 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org

FWIW, this guy said the same thing before Stormin' Norman bent his mechanized divisions over a barrel in the Kuwaiti desert.
2013-09-03 09:53:07 AM
1 votes:
His dildo got stuck up in his ass so he's not feeling too good, he'll behave just fine again once he gets a scare and sharts it back out.
2013-09-03 09:29:05 AM
1 votes:
What is the matter with you, Darling?

t2.gstatic.com
2013-09-03 09:07:48 AM
1 votes:
Fortunately chemical weapons don't hurt oil.  Which is the only part about that region we like.
2013-09-03 08:15:23 AM
1 votes:
If he's Darling then who is Melchett in this situation?
 
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