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(WRAL)   Mom finds teenage son's cremated remains inside of Walmart bag. Since this happened in Kentucky, she probably had to pay a little extra for that   (wral.com) divider line 55
    More: Sad, Walmart, plastic shopping bags, Kentucky Attorney General, WCPO-TV  
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5916 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Sep 2013 at 4:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-02 11:49:29 PM
There wasn't a Ralph's nearby?
 
2013-09-02 11:55:42 PM
In related news: Walmart is doing cremations. The pressboard caskets won't be far behind.
 
2013-09-03 12:25:24 AM
He was a K-Mart man
 
2013-09-03 01:33:33 AM
I use the Wal Mart bags for kitty litter, so I am getting a kick out of this. Should they have been labeled "Cartier"?
 
2013-09-03 01:53:18 AM
Would she have felt better if it was a Ziploc bag? What did she expect? Special plastic urn liners? It's just ashes. I'm pretty sure the son doesn't care one way or the other.
 
2013-09-03 02:55:22 AM
She's lucky she got a bag. When my cousin was cremated, they poured the ashes directly into the urn. And then they put a mismatched lid on it (the threads didn't mesh), leading to hilarity at my aunt's house later that evening as she and her sisters struggled to close the lid properly. Everyone agreed with my mom when she observed that "somewhere, James is laughing at all of this."

With regard to the article, when I die, I demand nothing less than a Ziploc freezer bag (with Double Zipper). A Seal-A-Meal vacuum bag would be preferable, but we all know how expensive those vacuum-sealers can be, and I don't want to be a burden for my loved ones...
 
2013-09-03 04:23:10 AM

Mugato: There wasn't a Ralph's nearby?


It *was* their most modestly priced receptacle.
 
2013-09-03 04:25:36 AM
When I die I want to be posed in some sort of hilarious pose, encased in a square of glass, then buried in a glacier, in the hopes that some year in the far distant future once the glacier grinds forward far enough I can be the centerpiece of one of those hilarious 'man finds comically surprised figure encased in ice at the edge of a glacier' scenes.
 
2013-09-03 04:25:53 AM
At least the bag didn't have a gritty receipt for liming agent.
 
2013-09-03 04:26:07 AM
When I die, bury me deep. Place two speakers at my feet. Put headphones on my head. And rock and roll me when I'm dead.
 
2013-09-03 04:26:08 AM
It was actually in my mother-in-law's will that putting her ashes in a paper sack was encouraged and all the better if the sack said "Fred Meyer" on it.  I understand the need to feel that your loved one's remains were treated with dignity and that it gives you peace, but really?  It doesn't matter.  It just doesn't.  They're gone and a fancy urn will only do so much to sate your desire for them.

/mom-in-law currently resides in a cardboard box in a storage unit until the spouse can get around to spreading them out in the Brooks Range.
 
2013-09-03 04:26:15 AM
No Folgers can?

/SHUT UP DONNIE!!!
 
2013-09-03 04:29:07 AM

Hugo Zorilla: No Folgers can?

/SHUT UP DONNIE!!!


Everything's a farking travesty with you, man.
 
2013-09-03 04:29:12 AM

Mugato: There wasn't a Ralph's nearby?


It's Ohio. They're Kroger's here. Get it right.
 
2013-09-03 04:30:47 AM
If I get enough of a heads up beforehand I'm just gonna wander off into the woods somewhere and let the animals pick me clean. No reason to waste perfectly good meat.
 
2013-09-03 04:31:09 AM

EmmaLou: Would she have felt better if it was a Ziploc bag? What did she expect? Special plastic urn liners? It's just ashes. I'm pretty sure the son doesn't care one way or the other.


Actually, the way the funeral industry is going, it probably won't be long until you see a $200 charge for an urn liner on your funeral bill.

/They'll still put 'em in Wal-Mart and Ziploc bags, mind you. But they'll be $200 Wal-Mart and Ziploc bags.
 
2013-09-03 04:34:55 AM

Mugato: There wasn't a Ralph's nearby?


This.  Was it impossible for the kid to pause in his "transferring ashes" routine long enough to run down to the grocery store and pick up some generic, no-brand freezer bags?

EmmaLou: Would she have felt better if it was a Ziploc bag? What did she expect? Special plastic urn liners? It's just ashes. I'm pretty sure the son doesn't care one way or the other.


As someone who has experienced many an unexpected Wal-Mart bag explosion, let me say that a dead loved one's ashes do not have any business being sealed in a material that is that flimsy.

As far as what they should have expected, yes a Ziploc would have been appropriate.  Funeral homes generally use a special variety of the same type of bag, but at the end of the day it's just a bag with a plastic interlocking seal.  All you need is one without any branding or labels on it and you're good to go.
 
2013-09-03 04:38:18 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: When I die, bury me deep. Place two speakers at my feet. Put headphones on my head. And rock and roll me when I'm dead.


When I die, no matter what happens to my body, I want a friend to show up dressed as the Grim Reaper and I want them to just sit there silently and not talk to anyone.
 
2013-09-03 04:42:16 AM
I think I understand why his parents were divorced.

I think it has something to do with him being insensitive uncaring oaf and her being an ass riding hard to please biatch.

As least I'm assuming that would be the answers if you asked them.
 
2013-09-03 04:42:33 AM

AltheaToldMe: AverageAmericanGuy: When I die, bury me deep. Place two speakers at my feet. Put headphones on my head. And rock and roll me when I'm dead.

When I die, no matter what happens to my body, I want a friend to show up dressed as the Grim Reaper and I want them to just sit there silently and not talk to anyone.


I expect a party with lots of food.  Crying will be allowed, but enforced somberness will not.  Laugh.  Drink.  Tell bad jokes, at my expense even.  I want my death to be such a good party that even if its being attended by distant relatives who barely know me, they'll all walk away with memories of that wake so good that they take them to the grave.
 
2013-09-03 04:51:38 AM

ajgeek: In related news: Walmart is doing cremations. The pressboard caskets won't be far behind.


Honestly, if not for the girth issues a pressboard casket would be ideal for cremation. Funeral homes try to get families to spend $$$ on wooden caskets for cremations.

AltheaToldMe: When I die, no matter what happens to my body, I want a friend to show up dressed as the Grim Reaper and I want them to just sit there silently and not talk to anyone.


I know you are completely unfamiliar with Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels. While Death has been to millions of bedrooms, he's been to almost no funerals and just a few crypts where either the funeral was too early or the security systems were effective.
 
2013-09-03 04:54:14 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: When I die, bury me deep. Place two speakers at my feet. Put headphones on my head. And rock and roll me when I'm dead.


How about this golden oldie?
 
2013-09-03 04:55:22 AM
I haven't given much thought to my own death... but that's probably because I'm not married.
 
2013-09-03 04:58:03 AM

yukichigai: AltheaToldMe: AverageAmericanGuy: When I die, bury me deep. Place two speakers at my feet. Put headphones on my head. And rock and roll me when I'm dead.

When I die, no matter what happens to my body, I want a friend to show up dressed as the Grim Reaper and I want them to just sit there silently and not talk to anyone.

I expect a party with lots of food.  Crying will be allowed, but enforced somberness will not.  Laugh.  Drink.  Tell bad jokes, at my expense even.  I want my death to be such a good party that even if its being attended by distant relatives who barely know me, they'll all walk away with memories of that wake so good that they take them to the grave.


This is exactly what Id like when I go as well.  I picture it happening at a bar with my urn and maybe a picture of me at the end of it with a few drinks around it.  Everyone can laugh, cry, and get shiat faced.

What happens to the urn afterwards isnt important at all.  If my family has to do something with it then having the ashes spread out at a good beach would work for me.
 
2013-09-03 04:59:02 AM

EmmaLou: Would she have felt better if it was a Ziploc bag? What did she expect? Special plastic urn liners? It's just ashes. I'm pretty sure the son doesn't care one way or the other.


It's pretty hard to tastefully present a Ziploc bag on top of the piano.
 
2013-09-03 05:00:06 AM
We just had my Dad cremated last Wednesday. His ashes were divided into 5 separate ziplock bags, he hasn't complained yet.
 
2013-09-03 05:00:15 AM

yukichigai: AltheaToldMe: AverageAmericanGuy: When I die, bury me deep. Place two speakers at my feet. Put headphones on my head. And rock and roll me when I'm dead.

When I die, no matter what happens to my body, I want a friend to show up dressed as the Grim Reaper and I want them to just sit there silently and not talk to anyone.

I expect a party with lots of food.  Crying will be allowed, but enforced somberness will not.  Laugh.  Drink.  Tell bad jokes, at my expense even.  I want my death to be such a good party that even if its being attended by distant relatives who barely know me, they'll all walk away with memories of that wake so good that they take them to the grave.


shiat, you just described my favorite way of going out.......though as a last prank I'd like my best buddy to sprinkle a bit of my ashes in the pepper shakers at a few places.  Just to get the last laugh.....
 
2013-09-03 05:02:32 AM
I believe you mean "in West Virginia they charge extra for that."
 
2013-09-03 05:07:07 AM
Correct:
swanstonarts-usa.com

Incorrect:
www.olympicplastic.com
Simple, no?
 
2013-09-03 05:19:50 AM
wildcardjack:
I know you are completely unfamiliar with Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels. While Death has been to millions of bedrooms, he's been to almost no funerals and just a few crypts where either the funeral was too early or the security systems were effective.

I was unfamiliar, but Wiki got me more up to speed than I ever thought possible.  Death does seem to be a fairly pervasive character.  I'm not sure that the genre (fantasy) is my cup of tea but placing these works in to one specific genre (given the subjects tackled) seems near impossible based on what I have read so far.

Thanks for the tip.  MrsAltheaToldMe is going to love this stuff.  She is never without an e-reader and can never seem to fill it with things she likes.  This will be something she devours.
 
2013-09-03 05:22:34 AM
Two stories on this theme.

First, after my father died in 1974, Mom insisted on having him cremated, as that was his stated wish  for many years.  The local funeral home, which shall remain nameless except for the fact they were the most prominent one in Mason City, IA, got all pissy about it until Mom and her lawyer had a "come to Jesus" meeting with them.

Second, a year later, when my maternal grandmother died, in the same city, said funeral home was by-passed entirely and Grandma Myrtle's remains were sent directly down to Des Moines for cremation.

A month or two later, Mom came to visit my wife and I in Miami and then to continue on to Sarasota to bury Grandma Myrtle's ashes next to my maternal grandpa.  As we picked up Mom at the airport, Mom handed a plastic bag to my wife, containing two Mason jars, with the warning, "Don't drop this.  It's Grandma."  I wish I had a camera to record that..

As it turned out, Mom had contacted the cemetery and found that they required to have a rigid/solid container in order to plant next to Grandpa and an Mason jar would qualify.  So, Mom dumped the ashes into a Mason jar, only to find there was a bit more, hence the two Mason jars.  It all went off w/o a hitch then.

Second, same funeral home, 1995.  My mother-in-law dies, just shy of her 80th birthday.  Oh crap.  Funeral service  is at her home church but orchestrated by the same funeral home  that gave my Mom such shiat over my father's and maternal grandmother's  deaths.  As we leave the church, I pull into the procession behind the hearse carrying my mother-in-law and proceed to the cemetery with my mother and my kids, my kids being part of the pall bearers according to their grandmother's wishes.  Once we arrive at the cemetery, this pencil necked flunky comes up to me and hisses, "Have you no decency?!?   You pulled in in front of the FAMILY!"  I responded with , "Look, I  am family and my kids are stipulated pall bearers.  Now back off!"

My being 6'4" and 250 lbs back then, he did.  The asshole showed up at the reception afterwards, trying his best to look indignant.  I was half praying for him to start in again just os I had a valid excuse to kick his ass.  Fortunately for us both, that didn't happen.
 
2013-09-03 06:25:40 AM
I want to be mummified, my chest and abdomen hollowed out and filled with a cash dispenser hooked up to my dick slot machine style so that when people yank on it a c note shoots out my ass after a random number of yanks, then set me up at Broadway and Avenue of the Americas...
 
2013-09-03 06:47:47 AM
My son's ashes showed up in a baggie closed with a twist tie, inside a plastic box like the old VHS tape boxes video rental stores used to use....delivered by FedEx. I got over it.
 
2013-09-03 06:51:09 AM
If it is disrespectful, then let her son complain about it.  Otherwise woman needs to let it go.  Well, she also needs to let her son go.

Also, what the fark was she doing opening up the urn?  Did she want to have one final look at her son?  People who hold onto the ashes of loved ones are batschitt crazy in my book.  Bury them or scatter the ashes and move on with your life.
 
2013-09-03 07:22:37 AM
FTFA:"I don't care who you are; it's not right to put a human person's ashes in a Wal-Mart bag,"

That's right you tight-as*ed funeral director, not like you're doing this for free.  Please go buy some ziplock bags, at least.
 
2013-09-03 07:31:11 AM
A Folger's can works OK.
 
2013-09-03 07:36:15 AM

apoptotic: My son's ashes showed up in a baggie closed with a twist tie, inside a plastic box like the old VHS tape boxes video rental stores used to use....delivered by FedEx. I got over it.


Did your son get over it, though?
 
2013-09-03 07:49:15 AM
I bet when she buys her pot roast or hamburger meat or chicken, she carries it out the store in a plastic bag. But I guess that's good enough for some mammals children.
 
2013-09-03 07:51:07 AM

Mock26: apoptotic: My son's ashes showed up in a baggie closed with a twist tie, inside a plastic box like the old VHS tape boxes video rental stores used to use....delivered by FedEx. I got over it.

Did your son get over it, though?


Well....as far as I'm aware he hasn't complained.
 
2013-09-03 07:51:44 AM
Not not in a gallon freezer bag with a lead seal on it then...

Yep, that was how I got my dad back(ok, inside a cardboard box)
 
2013-09-03 08:12:13 AM

Boo_Guy: yukichigai: AltheaToldMe: AverageAmericanGuy: When I die, bury me deep. Place two speakers at my feet. Put headphones on my head. And rock and roll me when I'm dead.

When I die, no matter what happens to my body, I want a friend to show up dressed as the Grim Reaper and I want them to just sit there silently and not talk to anyone.

I expect a party with lots of food.  Crying will be allowed, but enforced somberness will not.  Laugh.  Drink.  Tell bad jokes, at my expense even.  I want my death to be such a good party that even if its being attended by distant relatives who barely know me, they'll all walk away with memories of that wake so good that they take them to the grave.

This is exactly what Id like when I go as well.  I picture it happening at a bar with my urn and maybe a picture of me at the end of it with a few drinks around it.  Everyone can laugh, cry, and get shiat faced.

What happens to the urn afterwards isnt important at all.  If my family has to do something with it then having the ashes spread out at a good beach would work for me.


Sounds like you and yukichigai might want to give your loved ones the same instructions I'll leave with mine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wYwiM4Nrcg
(The Push Stars' "Keg on my Coffin")

/So many CSBs about the Push Stars
//Pluralizing acronyms is weird
 
2013-09-03 08:30:15 AM
It wouldn't have been so bad if there wasn't also a box of Nutter Butters, a 12 pack of Sam's Choice Diet Cola, and an Old Spice 2 pack also in the bag
 
2013-09-03 08:38:15 AM

Mock26: If it is disrespectful, then let her son complain about it.  Otherwise woman needs to let it go.  Well, she also needs to let her son go.

Also, what the fark was she doing opening up the urn?  Did she want to have one final look at her son?  People who hold onto the ashes of loved ones are batschitt crazy in my book.  Bury them or scatter the ashes and move on with your life.


Wah wah...everyone else doesnt handle grief in the same way I do.
 
2013-09-03 08:48:28 AM
I want to be cremated, but I don't care what they put me in...I just want them to scatter my ashes some place cool. No headstone, nothing. I want it to cost the least amount of money, because who will actually care 100 years later?
 
2013-09-03 08:59:42 AM

EmmaLou: Would she have felt better if it was a Ziploc bag? What did she expect? Special plastic urn liners? It's just ashes. I'm pretty sure the son doesn't care one way or the other.


Yeah, but just like funerals, urns are for the living.  As such a certain amount of pomp is to be expected.  Recycling is all well and good, but when people want their ceremony, you have to be careful.

But yeah, a heavy duty ziplock bag would be almost ideal.  Another option I can think of would be a heavy duty fused shut bag.  You know, the ones where you fuse the bag shut and have to cut it open?  Most are vacuum sealed, but not sure how that would work with ashes.  Given that you'll generally never want to open the bag, it seems ideal.

shotgunshell: Many people today are choosing cremation because they have been led to believe it is less expensive. Burial expenses are deemed to be not worth it, an unnecessary expense. Some Christians may have been influenced along these lines without stopping to consider what God has to say in the matter.


Why couldn't you have used a different username for your god-bothering ways?
 
2013-09-03 09:07:59 AM
I think she had more of a problem with walmart putting advertising on her son's remains.  I am sure we would all agree, if companies want to advertise on our remains, they need to cover part or all of the funeral expenses.  Of course, what they are willing to pay will be determined by how popular and famous you are.  This kid wasn't too popular and since it was inside an urn, he gets just a free bag.  Now if an A-list celebrity died they could not only get the funeral for free, but their kids could make their own fortune from the TV rights of the funeral.
 
2013-09-03 09:08:22 AM
"I don't care who you are; it's not right to put a human person's ashes in a Wal-Mart bag,"

www.hotghettomess.com

This guy might not mind it so much...
 
2013-09-03 09:58:28 AM
The thing is, when you're cremated, you're just carbon, no different is something else was burned up. It's meaningless. Most of it is the box you got cremated in and they probably mix up the ashes anyway. They perpetuate all this ritual to death and funerals because it's a huge industry. If you really believe in a soul then the body is just a vessel. Why are you going to the cemetery to talk to a headstone? People are weird.
 
2013-09-03 10:13:19 AM

sethen320: Mock26: If it is disrespectful, then let her son complain about it.  Otherwise woman needs to let it go.  Well, she also needs to let her son go.

Also, what the fark was she doing opening up the urn?  Did she want to have one final look at her son?  People who hold onto the ashes of loved ones are batschitt crazy in my book.  Bury them or scatter the ashes and move on with your life.

Wah wah...everyone else doesnt handle grief in the same way I do.


So wait, are we no longer allowed to mock people on Fark?
 
2013-09-03 10:35:08 AM
After watching the Faces of Death series years ago, I already know that's probably not just her sons ashes in that bag. They just scoop a bit out of the pile under the furnace.
 
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