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(Deadspin)   Precious snowflake gets shiathammered and runs onto the field of the Iowa-Northern Illinois game, gets arrested, blows .341 at the station. And since it's 2013, she tweets the whole thing   (deadspin.com) divider line 175
    More: Asinine, Kinnick Stadium, police stations, PBT  
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15635 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Sep 2013 at 10:17 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



175 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-01 04:59:50 PM
FTA:  I'm going to get .341 tattooed on me because its so epic

she'll make somebody a lovely bride someday.
 
2013-09-01 05:11:11 PM
Brought to you by Generation: LOOOOK AAAAAT MEEEEEE!
 
2013-09-01 05:28:40 PM
Is she hot?
 
2013-09-01 05:29:22 PM
I predict a bright employment future for this young lady.
 
2013-09-01 05:37:21 PM
She has a problem and needs help
 
2013-09-01 05:51:01 PM
Buy her a few rounds and I bet she'll take it in the pooper.
 
2013-09-01 05:57:43 PM
Having a hard time believing she blew a .341 and could still use the keypad on her phone.

Wondering when the breathalyzer was last calibrated.
 
2013-09-01 07:15:21 PM
Why the snowflake analogy?  It's not like her parents swooped in to sue the police for embarrassing her or something.
 
2013-09-01 07:20:26 PM
Should be sterilized for the good of humanity.

Hey, it's a start.
 
2013-09-01 07:34:29 PM

SilentStrider: Is she hot?


mah.  end of the night doable.  not the first pick though.
 
2013-09-01 08:09:14 PM

basemetal: Buy her a few rounds and I bet she'll take it in the pooper.


Buy her a few rounds and she'll probably want to give you a right good pegging.
 
2013-09-01 08:47:09 PM

serial_crusher: Why the snowflake analogy?  It's not like her parents swooped in to sue the police for embarrassing her or something.


It's Fark. I'm surprised their wasn't a "precious snowflake" headline for the 8 year old who wrecked a car and killed his 6 year old sister.
 
2013-09-01 08:53:07 PM
Just remember, these are the people that Obama wants to give free money to for their student loans.
 
2013-09-01 08:56:39 PM
.341 without passing out?  That's damned impressive.
 
2013-09-01 09:12:00 PM

FriarReb98: Just remember, these are the people that Obama wants to give free money to for their student loans.


OK, that's a good one.
 
2013-09-01 09:19:07 PM
You know there was vomit.  Where's the pics of the vomit, sweetheart?
 
2013-09-01 09:40:24 PM

doyner: .341 without tpassing ou dying?  That's damned impressive.


Girl can't weigh more than 120.
 
2013-09-01 09:42:19 PM
Hope she has a scholarship because I don't see Mom & Dad shelling out for another semester of this.
 
2013-09-01 09:54:14 PM
I'm opening a restaurant in Iowa City this October that caters to the après bar crowd. I'm guessing this girl's a future patron.
 
2013-09-01 09:58:28 PM
CSB:

I was with this girl's uncle over the weekend when he got the call about this.
 
2013-09-01 10:01:59 PM
I think I'd be catatonic at .341.  Her tweets are remarkably coherent for a level of drunkenness that would make me a jellyfish.
 
2013-09-01 10:21:14 PM
.341!  What is this, baseball?
 
2013-09-01 10:22:22 PM
.341? In a row?
 
2013-09-01 10:23:31 PM

serial_crusher: Why the snowflake analogy?  It's not like her parents swooped in to sue the police for embarrassing her or something.


Subby is probably an old hand from rateyourstudents.com.

The word "snowflake" is code for "university student".
 
2013-09-01 10:24:00 PM

Dallymo: I think I'd be catatonic at .341.  Her tweets are remarkably coherent for a level of drunkenness that would make me a jellyfish.


Yeah.  How the fark can she text if she was that drunk?  That doesn't sound right.
 
2013-09-01 10:24:03 PM
Her twitter account is active, responsive, and retweeting comments.

/Homerfadingbackintheshrubs.jpg
 
2013-09-01 10:24:18 PM

Bob Falfa: Hope she has a scholarship because I don't see Mom & Dad shelling out for another semester of this.


Of course they will.
 
2013-09-01 10:24:46 PM

TheDumbBlonde: I predict a bright employment future for this young lady.


Yeah I see a futre of her wearing orange shorts saying "Heres your wings boys"
 
2013-09-01 10:24:56 PM

Nabb1: basemetal: Buy her a few rounds and I bet she'll take it in the pooper.

Buy her a few rounds and she'll probably want to give you a right good pegging.


Buy her a few rounds and she'll give you a pegging while doing herself with her vodka bottle. (notice her @Vodka_samm account name)

Check out her Twitter page and you'll see that she will one day be the vodka queen of her trailer park.
i43.tinypic.com
 
2013-09-01 10:25:11 PM
@Vodka_samm

figures..
 
2013-09-01 10:26:03 PM
johnny manziel has found a new girlfriend
 
2013-09-01 10:26:45 PM
The female morons are really putting the guy morons to shame this year.

/ Good job girls!
// Former college moron

img.bleacherreport.net
cdn.bleacherreport.net
 
2013-09-01 10:26:50 PM
From the comments: "Baby got BAC."
 
2013-09-01 10:27:58 PM
That actually sounds kind of epic.
 
2013-09-01 10:30:55 PM

basemetal: Buy her a few rounds and I bet she'll take it in the pooper.


And I bet her pooper smells better than her breath.

/would still hit

wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net
 
2013-09-01 10:30:56 PM
Meh.
 
2013-09-01 10:31:35 PM
Way to incriminate yourself!

/never blow
 
2013-09-01 10:31:47 PM
Future Senator
 
2013-09-01 10:32:42 PM

mediablitz: Having a hard time believing she blew a .341 and could still use the keypad on her phone.

Wondering when the breathalyzer was last calibrated.


Quite possibly they didn't actually make her wait 30 minutes after last eating, drinking, or burping to administer the test.  I wouldn't trust anything other than a blood test.
 
2013-09-01 10:33:18 PM
FTA : Goudie was unfathomably shiathoused

FTHL : snowflake gets shiathammered

Am I witnessing the evolution of slang for being drunk, or is Subby having some fun with the weird (shiathoused) term.

/ Been shiat faced
// Been hammered
/// Been in a shiat house while shiat faced
//// Been housed in shiat
 
2013-09-01 10:33:47 PM
Well, Iowa was named the #1 party school...
 
2013-09-01 10:33:49 PM
Highest i ever blew was a .247...

/Still passed the field sobriety test
 
2013-09-01 10:33:57 PM
her parents must be so proud.
 
2013-09-01 10:34:18 PM
Whats up with her middle fingers.right hand is disturbing long and the other is just off.
 
2013-09-01 10:37:24 PM
.341? Is that possible? I am pretty sure running at 341 would be a nogo. And I know a thing or two about running drunk.
 
2013-09-01 10:38:26 PM
Before I think she's all that awesome she'll have to blow someone at an Eminem concert.
 
2013-09-01 10:38:44 PM

knottybynature: Highest i ever blew was a .247...

/Still passed the field sobriety test


You blew 247 guys and passed a sobriety test..I am impressed.
 
2013-09-01 10:38:56 PM
I don't remember all of it but as a former Hawkeye I was arrested at a Hawkeye home game for Public Intoxication. They didn't breathalyzer me but if I had a BAC under .3 it was a miracle.

Iowa isn't the nations #1 party school for nothing.

20 years ago. I am an old highly paid responsible citizen these days.
 
2013-09-01 10:39:10 PM

jaytkay: The female morons are really putting the guy morons to shame this year.

/ Good job girls!
// Former college moron


Came for this. They should have shut down Vine after that and ended it on a high note.
 
2013-09-01 10:39:49 PM

BinderWoman: Well, Iowa was named the #1 party school...


By who? US Farm Report?
 
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