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(Daily Mail)   'Wanna get your boyfriend to pop the question?' Here's the answer: A number of women across the country have listed their positive pregnancy tests for sale on Craigslist   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Scary, Craigslist  
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8359 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Sep 2013 at 3:37 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-01 08:07:53 AM  
I knew a couple that got married after she claimed to be pregnant. 12 months later she had a baby.
 
2013-09-01 08:08:35 AM  
I'lltry to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:
I got a vasectomy.
I met a girlsoon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at thetime and I could practically HEAR her biologicalclock ticking. Regardless,she was a good lay, easy on theeyes, and reasonably good company.
I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that thecondom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.
We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but shebrought it up ocassionally. For me,this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that shewas planning very carefully.
Four monthsinto dating, I getthe "I'm pregnant" talk. She's goingon and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for thebaby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby inher and she thinks she's gonnahave a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.
At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pullthe reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't thinkbeyond their own uteri.
So I wait a coupleof days to "think about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she shouldhave an abortion. I know where this is goingand sure enough it goes there. She goes completely bat**** insane on me. There were theusual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.
Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messageson my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing hysterically.
It was time to drop thehammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I geta notarized copy of theTWO test results indicatinga "negative test result for sperm" to showI'm sterile and shootingblanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen theother documentsand is prepared to litigateagainst this woman if she continuesto communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insiston DNA testing to showthat thebaby is not mine. I'm ready.
I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilitiesas a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket thedocuments I have prepared.
She's all giddy again. Her plan is goingperfectly - or so shethinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. "Are you sure that this baby is mine?"
Well, shegoes bat**** insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she's really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I thinkshe's a slut. I'm just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities... blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.
I'm not really mad. I'm kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won't shut up and theneighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sitson thesofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit shehas wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.
I reach into my pocketslowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately.
I tell her simply, "You're screwed".
Her look doesn't change. There is no way shecan fathom what I have prepared.
I continue. "I am sterile"
Her look changes just a bit. Somethingis beginning to sink in. Naturally, shereverts to women's logic. "You're full of ****. You're trapped and you know it."
I hold up theletter and the test results. "Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showingthat I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shootingblanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine."
This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. "Bull****, those are fakes."
I was ready for that. "No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It's a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insiston a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine."
I give thewoman all thedocuments. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feelin her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, shestarted to cry. It's a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing.
I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.

The Moral of the Story -
Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret.
 
2013-09-01 08:09:11 AM  
Came for the Craigslist vasectomy story. Had to do it myself.


 Vasectomy: $400. Speechless look on her face: priceless.I'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:


I got a vasectomy.

I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.

I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.

We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.

Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.

At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't think beyond their own uteri.

So I wait a couple of days to "think about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she should have an abortion. I know where this is going and sure enough it goes there. She goes completely batshiat insane on me. There were the usual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.

Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing hysterically.

It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a "negative test result for sperm" to show I'm sterile and shooting blanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I'm ready.

I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared.

She's all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. "Are you sure that this baby is mine?"

Well, she goes batshiat insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she's really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she's a slut. I'm just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities... blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I'm not really mad. I'm kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won't shut up and the neighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.

I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately.

I tell her simply, "You're screwed".

Her look doesn't change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared.

I continue. "I am sterile"

Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women's logic. "You're full of shiat. You're trapped and you know it."

I hold up the letter and the test results. "Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine."

This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. "Bullshiat, those are fakes."

I was ready for that. "No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It's a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine."

I give the woman all the documents. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feel in her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, she started to cry. It's a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing.

I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.

Epilogue -

I never heard directly from this woman again. I did hear through my friends that she did indeed have the baby. I also heard that the real father was some guy in a band she had met. I assumed that after 30, women stopped going after musicians, bikers, criminals, and thugs. Silly me for thinking the best of American women.

The Moral of the Story -

Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret.
 Location: Manhoodit's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
 
2013-09-01 08:16:36 AM  
Guys, when a girl gets pregnant, she won't stop at one test.  She will usually buy at least 3 tests, of various brands, and try them all.
 
2013-09-01 08:18:14 AM  
That sounds like a good way to get punched.
 
2013-09-01 08:20:53 AM  
c3e308.medialib.glogster.com
 
2013-09-01 08:22:51 AM  

freak7: 420Gabriel: Not sure I believe the story.

Check Chicago, I got 3 results when searching for "positive pregnancy test".


The question is were the ads there before or after people read stories about them on facebook? I'm going with after.
 
2013-09-01 08:22:57 AM  

accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.


You sound kind of ugly.
 
2013-09-01 08:26:19 AM  
So, is the real mother the woman who sold the test on Craigslist or the girlfriend who brought it?

tessant.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com
 
2013-09-01 08:28:57 AM  

Emposter: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

They should be required, but that's irrelevant to this particular type of deception, since these women are faking pregnancies.  You can't test a non-existence baby, and the lie becomes pretty obvious a few months down the road anyway, no test needed.


the plan then is to fake a miscarriage i bet. Interestingly, if you're married and your wife has a child and you are not the father then get the obvious divorce you are still on the hook for child support. IIRC and it may be on a state by state basis
 
2013-09-01 08:30:13 AM  

Mark Ratner: accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.

You sound kind of ugly.


and wise beyond your years
 
2013-09-01 08:32:41 AM  

Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.


This. You do it in secret after the fact.
 
2013-09-01 08:34:11 AM  

Emposter: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

They should be required, but that's irrelevant to this particular type of deception, since these women are faking pregnancies.  You can't test a non-existence baby, and the lie becomes pretty obvious a few months down the road anyway, no test needed.


Lol...

The women fark you like rabid bunnies trying to get pregnant...so...its a win win for a little while at least...
 
2013-09-01 08:36:31 AM  
Who would that ever work on?

cdn.bleacherreport.net
 
2013-09-01 08:37:58 AM  
i.huffpost.com

Tanisha, you are NOT the mother!
 
2013-09-01 08:41:32 AM  

Esroc: .Anthracite: I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?

Fark has been the last place news gets posted to for quite awhile now. I usually just come here for the discussion after reading the news elsewhere and it usually takes hours before the story pops up here.


yup.. used to come here for breaking news... not anymore
 
2013-09-01 08:45:16 AM  
 
2013-09-01 08:46:49 AM  
 
2013-09-01 08:46:56 AM  

I sound fat: Anthracite: I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?

Shut up.

The "I saw this already" police need to go.

its a NEWS AGGREGATOR.  everything has already been seen elsewhere.  its how it works.


You sound fat
 
2013-09-01 08:56:01 AM  
Yet another problem that could be solved if people waited until marriage to have sex.
 
2013-09-01 08:57:32 AM  
This is great until the boyfriends get a paternity test.
 
2013-09-01 09:00:21 AM  

croesius: johncb76006: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

Paternity tests should be required at every birth.

Man, I'd hate to mistrust my wife so much I felt I needed a paternity test, no offense to you all who feel like you would need one. Seems like that isn't a very strong foundation on which to build a future, let alone a family.


My brother trusted his wife until I took hairs from his kid and had a paternity test and it turned out not to be his.   Needless to say, he was a horrible man and dumped her and ruined his neighbor's marriage.
 
2013-09-01 09:02:21 AM  

Mazzic518:
yup.. used to come here for breaking news... not anymore


I know, right? When I want to know about how using Q-tips introduces ear mites into your brain, I want to know it now.

Oh yeah, that story hasn't made it here yet. Here, clean your ears while we're waiting.
 
2013-09-01 09:06:50 AM  

cryinoutloud: Mazzic518:
yup.. used to come here for breaking news... not anymore

I know, right? When I want to know about how using Q-tips introduces ear mites into your brain, I want to know it now.

Oh yeah, that story hasn't made it here yet. Here, clean your ears while we're waiting.


Post the link!!! I just took a shower and used q-tips afterwards, so I'm not getting a kick...!!!!
 
2013-09-01 09:10:11 AM  
CSB time:

Check the expiration date if she's using the contraceptive foam.

/guess who's a daddy...
 
2013-09-01 09:19:24 AM  

Mark Ratner: Post the link!!! I just took a shower and used q-tips afterwards, so I'm not getting a kick...!!!


Dude.......it's.....I'm so sorry. I've seen your posts. I'm afraid it's too late for you. I'm so proud of you, though, for continuing to post even when most of your cognitive functioning is already gone.
 
msP
2013-09-01 09:19:40 AM  

blockhouse: Yet another problem that could be solved if people waited until marriage to have sex.


Yes, because of course no one who prescribes to your Christian way of thinking has ever done anything bad like be unfaithful to their partner after marriage.

/I hope you're a troll.
 
2013-09-01 09:19:49 AM  

boinkingbill: This is great until the boyfriends get a paternity test.

 
2013-09-01 09:21:05 AM  

cryinoutloud: Mazzic518:
yup.. used to come here for breaking news... not anymore

I know, right? When I want to know about how using Q-tips introduces ear mites into your brain, I want to know it now.

Oh yeah, that story hasn't made it here yet. Here, clean your ears while we're waiting.


Phew I cannot afford Q-Tips and use a generic brand, I'm safe
 
2013-09-01 09:21:16 AM  

fenianfark: boinkingbill: This is great until the boyfriends get a paternity test.


Damn, image post fail. Let's try that again.

31.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-01 09:21:21 AM  

sendtodave: accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.

Nice guys usually don't have to point out that they are nice.


Usually very true -- but seeing as how you and I are more than likely hundreds or thousands of miles apart and have very little chance of ever getting to know each other, I figure I'd save some time and wonderment and just tell you.  The comment itself is relevant to the subject in a forum atmosphere.

Would be totally weird if I just use that as my opening line on a woman though, and would rightfully send off some warning flags if she was on her toes.   That would be like if a woman came up to me and started with "hi my names Jane, I'm totally not a crazed psycho stalker beeoch"  heh

My comment was also based on what I personally see most of the time with women I know directly or indirectly that make some of the dumbest choices when it comes to men. Treating him like a house and doing the ole' "fixer upper" routine never works.  Before they know it they are twice divorced, with a kid or 3 and still have no clue how their life got so screwed up.
 
2013-09-01 09:22:08 AM  

robohobo: zzrhardy: robohobo: I predict the tide of this thread will turn once morning hits and the Fark 'feminists' hit the board,

Feminism is like unionsim. The better things get the less reason they have to exist.

If feminists want to go to bat over the right to cuckold guys, then it is an admission they are no longer relevant (just like trade unions).

My wife is very alpha. Considers herself a feminist. She's also a gifted surgeon. She often runs afoul of other self described feminists who insist on decrying her for sometimes making me dinner, or acquiescing to a request I make. It's very amusing. They don't seem to understand a woman can be a feminist yet still hold her husband in equal regard.


I'm pretty alpha, a director-level PI with a PhD, professionally. My marriage is a partnership regardless of sex, we take on tasks we're best suited for.

Anyway, guys, if you're dating a GF whom you are trusting to handle blocks to procreation but it turns out she has the need to take pregnancy tests --honestly or not -- then you need to wear a condom, get a vasectomy or stop farking her immediately.

It's idiotic to be barebacking a woman you have no plans on having kids with.
 
2013-09-01 09:25:23 AM  

Go Fornicate Without a Partner: CSB time:
Check the expiration date if she's using the contraceptive foam.
/guess who's a daddy...


That foam doesn't work, forget the farking "expiration date." I had an abortion many years ago after using the Sponge (not the Fark poster, a BC product). It's foam put on a little round cap that you put inside you. "30% failure rate", the lady at Planned Parenthood told me, right before she stuck something right up my baby-maker.

www.meijer.com

DO NOT WANT
 
2013-09-01 09:25:55 AM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: It's idiotic to be barebacking a woman you have no plans on having kids with.


THIS. Your swimmers (and what they might become with the help of a homologous string of haploid DNA) are YOUR responsibility.
 
2013-09-01 09:38:19 AM  

Mark Ratner: accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.

You sound kind of ugly.


Quite the opposite actually -- mostly what it is:  I'm lazy.  I'm some sort of sexual vampire that only comes out to feed maybe once every month or two. Don't get me wrong it was awesome when I had a serous g/f and could get my junk waxed on a daily basis, but in the long run it's sometimes not worth it.  I *really* like sitting around in my underwear, by myself, playing video games, or out shooting pool, or whatever.  Between work, and the house I just bought, I'm already neglecting my PC too much, a woman would suck away what precious little time I Have.
 
2013-09-01 09:41:36 AM  

accelerus: Mark Ratner: accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.

You sound kind of ugly.

Quite the opposite actually -- mostly what it is:  I'm lazy.  I'm some sort of sexual vampire that only comes out to feed maybe once every month or two. Don't get me wrong it was awesome when I had a serous g/f and could get my junk waxed on a daily basis, but in the long run it's sometimes not worth it.  I *really* like sitting around in my underwear, by myself, playing video games, or out shooting pool, or whatever.  Between work, and the house I just bought, I'm already neglecting my PC too much, a woman would suck away what precious little time I Have.


I was joking. Actually, you sound smart.
 
2013-09-01 09:42:19 AM  

Esroc: .Anthracite: I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?

Fark has been the last place news gets posted to for quite awhile now. I usually just come here for the discussion after reading the news elsewhere and it usually takes hours before the story pops up here.


This. I'm here for the discussion. I don't give a shiat where the story appears first.
 
2013-09-01 09:48:20 AM  
continuing on the topic of where all the "good guys" and "good girls" are in the world.... for the most part I've seen that the social circle you are in during college, the girls you meet, screw, or get serious with .... that's where most of my friends met their spouse and started down the road to the family thing.

Now that's of course not the rule, it's just what I've seen a lot of. The easiest and best way to get a "good" woman on lock is to date her in college and keep it going afterwards as you both continue in your adult life. As someone who's degreed and experienced, it's hell right now trying to meet women who are around my age and in the same boat (being single, not wacked out on drugs or alcohol, financially responsible).  Most of the women my age are realizing how bad they screwed up their first marriage and are now saddled with a kid and a used up body.  Looking around desperately for a man to latch onto and help raise their mistakes.

 When I meet someone and hear they have a degree, I'm like "ohhh nice, potential!" and then 5 minutes later I find out she's divorced and has 2 kids.

Very few people understand that there are people that exist that are 100% fine to live out their lives without a serious mate and/or children.
 
2013-09-01 09:50:59 AM  
Oh man, MRAs are gonna be pissed over this. But then again...they're always pissed. Will anyone outside their circle jerk notice or care? Probably not.
 
2013-09-01 09:58:54 AM  

Mark Ratner: accelerus: Mark Ratner: accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.

You sound kind of ugly.

Quite the opposite actually -- mostly what it is:  I'm lazy.  I'm some sort of sexual vampire that only comes out to feed maybe once every month or two. Don't get me wrong it was awesome when I had a serous g/f and could get my junk waxed on a daily basis, but in the long run it's sometimes not worth it.  I *really* like sitting around in my underwear, by myself, playing video games, or out shooting pool, or whatever.  Between work, and the house I just bought, I'm already neglecting my PC too much, a woman would suck away what precious little time I Have.

I was joking. Actually, you sound smart.


:)  well if we were in any sort of proximity -- I would suggest we have a beer and totally "bro" out. lol     Sorry I'm on this "bro" kick after watching a ton of How I met your mother, the Bro code fascinates me.
 
2013-09-01 10:00:15 AM  
As a woman, I find the idea of trapping a man to be bad and stupid. Why the fark do you want to marry someone if you have to trick them into it? That's definitely going to be a sad and shiatty marriage.

Quit making women look crazy and evil.
 
2013-09-01 10:08:21 AM  

because I care: pecosdave: because I care: What discriminatory policies are these? I'm single by choice, but if I ever did find a girl I wanted to marry I can't think of any policies that would discourage me.

robohobo covered a lot of it for me.  It's not just divorce though, colleges have a lot of horrible programs and the entire educational system has been regeared to favor girls.

But do men actually cite these things as reasons to not get married? I don't mean just in the abstract; are there men who would otherwise marry a specific woman, but refuse to do so because of these reasons?

/I do think that divorce and child support laws could stand to be updated if we as a society truly want things to be 'equal'


The book I linked to has several interviews where the men have cited it.  I've met a few that use this reasoning as well.  Were it not for reconnecting with someone from back home that I know has a good background and has given lots of thought and consideration to equality is and isn't I probably wouldn't be engaged right now, and may not ever have gotten there again.  It took someone very special to break my standoffishness.  Many men have given up due to something not being right , even if they exactly figure out what it is.
 
2013-09-01 10:22:34 AM  

milkyshirt: As a woman, I find the idea of trapping a man to be bad and stupid. Why the fark do you want to marry someone if you have to trick them into it? That's definitely going to be a sad and shiatty marriage.

Quit making women look crazy and evil.


I like you.  Wish more women were like you.
 
2013-09-01 10:24:43 AM  

pecosdave: because I care: pecosdave: because I care: What discriminatory policies are these? I'm single by choice, but if I ever did find a girl I wanted to marry I can't think of any policies that would discourage me.

robohobo covered a lot of it for me.  It's not just divorce though, colleges have a lot of horrible programs and the entire educational system has been regeared to favor girls.

But do men actually cite these things as reasons to not get married? I don't mean just in the abstract; are there men who would otherwise marry a specific woman, but refuse to do so because of these reasons?

/I do think that divorce and child support laws could stand to be updated if we as a society truly want things to be 'equal'

The book I linked to has several interviews where the men have cited it.  I've met a few that use this reasoning as well.  Were it not for reconnecting with someone from back home that I know has a good background and has given lots of thought and consideration to equality is and isn't I probably wouldn't be engaged right now, and may not ever have gotten there again.  It took someone very special to break my standoffishness.  Many men have given up due to something not being right , even if they exactly figure out what it is.


Hmm. I know it's an oversimplification, but it seems to me that for a lot of women, marriage is the goal, and success is reached when they find a man who is "close enough" to their standards. Whereas for a lot of men marriage isn't necessarily the goal, but if they find the right woman, marriage suddenly becomes a desirable thing. As such, it's hard for me to imagine a man finding a woman he wants to marry, but choosing not to because of the aforementioned reasons. But obviously I'm wrong. And that's okay.

Anyway, I'm glad you found someone worth marrying. That's pretty cool.
 
2013-09-01 10:30:45 AM  

milkyshirt: As a woman, I find the idea of trapping a man to be bad and stupid. Why the fark do you want to marry someone if you have to trick them into it? That's definitely going to be a sad and shiatty marriage.

Quit making women look crazy and evil.


Very few women are actually not crazy and evil, and while this in no way excuses them, it's because there is a long cultural history of making them 'inferior'; generally 'making' them be crazy and evil in order to get things done in the world. And while legal policies are now in place to effect a change, it takes longer to affect the culture.
 
2013-09-01 10:50:12 AM  

because I care: Hmm. I know it's an oversimplification, but it seems to me that for a lot of women, marriage is the goal, and success is reached when they find a man who is "close enough" to their standards. Whereas for a lot of men marriage isn't necessarily the goal, but if they find the right woman, marriage suddenly becomes a desirable thing. As such, it's hard for me to imagine a man finding a woman he wants to marry, but choosing not to because of the aforementioned reasons. But obviously I'm wrong. And that's okay.

Anyway, I'm glad you found someone worth marrying. That's pretty cool.


People get married because there's something in it for them.

To oversimplify - historically a man got someone to have his kids, take care of the home, cook and do domestic things.  The woman got someone who would provide the means for her to do those things.  The home to live in, the food to eat, and of course a father for the kids.

Still to oversimplify - the man is still expected to do all the things he used to, but now he's expected to be just as in touch with all the domestic stuff as well and doing some if not all of it.  (In my first marriage I was expected to be the sole person responsible for every responsibility except for making decisions, making the money and every household duty.)  Now that women have equality it's up to them to determine how much responsibility and what task they'll take on.  I'll admit I was at the extreme end of things when I was married, but in the modern day secular marriage doesn't have a very good cost/benefit ratio for men.

This website has some pretty good insights.  I really liked the Rieko write up.
 
2013-09-01 10:55:21 AM  

Esroc: In Florida at least you don't even have to be on the birth certificate if you're married. Even if the father doesn't have anything to do with the birth, If the mother can prove you were married at the time of conception then that kid is yours as far as the state is concerned. I had a friend leave his wife when he found out she was pregnant with another guys kid. The state still slapped him with child support because they were married at the time, even though his ex-wife admitted the boy wasn't his.


that used to be the law in LA too. not sure if it still is but considering the laws we do have .... a friend got stuck with having her separated husband listed as the father. and the only reason for that was a nurse who didn't like her knew she wasn't divorced yet and told the hospital so.
 
2013-09-01 11:21:34 AM  

pecosdave: milkyshirt: As a woman, I find the idea of trapping a man to be bad and stupid. Why the fark do you want to marry someone if you have to trick them into it? That's definitely going to be a sad and shiatty marriage.

Quit making women look crazy and evil.

I like you.  Wish more women were like you.


There are more women like me, you just haven't been involved with them, or perhaps you broke it off for unrelated reasons.

I feel bad for you guys who've had a bad experience or can't seem to find a nice lady and have been put off from romantic relationships altogether. I get it, I haven't had a serious relationship since I divorced and I've liked it that way. I'm still open to the idea though, if I found someone I *really* liked.

Look at it this way. I've known a number of women who seem to draw nothing but assholes, morons, creeps, or psychos. Now, probably, if these are the only types you wind up dating, it's going to be because (1) there's something about you that attracts them, and/or (2) there's something about them that attracts you and makes you select them. If you can get to the root of that, you may have an easier time finding a female who will treat you right.
 
2013-09-01 11:29:37 AM  
Why isn't this illegal?

It's pretty much blackmail. Or extortion. Whatever. Should be illegal.
 
2013-09-01 11:34:04 AM  
Years ago a guy I worked with was dating this pretty yet crazy girl. After a month of dating she tells him she is a couple weeks pregnent. A week later she tells him it's twins, this set off everyones bs/crazy detector. Soon after that she attacks a girlfriend of ours just for talking to him in a bar. When it all came out she was dumped so fast it could make your head spins plus she got banned from every bar we worked at.
 
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