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(Daily Mail)   'Wanna get your boyfriend to pop the question?' Here's the answer: A number of women across the country have listed their positive pregnancy tests for sale on Craigslist   ( dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Scary, Craigslist  
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8385 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Sep 2013 at 3:37 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



243 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-09-01 03:41:01 AM  
I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?
 
2013-09-01 03:48:47 AM  
A marriage induced by fraud can be unilaterally dissolved by request.  You go with that plan ladies.
 
2013-09-01 03:48:52 AM  
.

Anthracite: I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?


Fark has been the last place news gets posted to for quite awhile now. I usually just come here for the discussion after reading the news elsewhere and it usually takes hours before the story pops up here.
 
2013-09-01 03:49:01 AM  
Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.
 
2013-09-01 03:49:23 AM  
Girls will be girls :)
 
2013-09-01 03:50:15 AM  
Not sure I believe the story.

If it is true, every woman involved should be sterilized with forced abortions for the ones selling the tests.
 
2013-09-01 03:52:28 AM  

robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.


 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.
 
2013-09-01 03:53:34 AM  

420Gabriel: Not sure I believe the story.


Check Chicago, I got 3 results when searching for "positive pregnancy test".
 
2013-09-01 03:53:36 AM  
Ah, romance.
 
2013-09-01 03:56:16 AM  

freak7: 420Gabriel: Not sure I believe the story.

Check Chicago, I got 3 results when searching for "positive pregnancy test".


Over 200 miles away from me, but there are 3 also in the Dallas, TX area when I searched CL for the same thing.
 
2013-09-01 03:56:18 AM  

Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.


Then offer them quietly. Perhaps write it into insurance requirements. Too many women tricking their poor husbands into raising someone else's bastard.
 
2013-09-01 03:56:59 AM  

robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.


They should be required, but that's irrelevant to this particular type of deception, since these women are faking pregnancies.  You can't test a non-existence baby, and the lie becomes pretty obvious a few months down the road anyway, no test needed.
 
2013-09-01 03:59:02 AM  

Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.


Translation: If the husband is offered a paternity test when the wife is present, he will firmly refuse to avoid conflict.

Reality: if the man has the chance to confirm the child is his without conflict, he will take it.
 
2013-09-01 03:59:21 AM  

Emposter: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

They should be required, but that's irrelevant to this particular type of deception, since these women are faking pregnancies.  You can't test a non-existence baby, and the lie becomes pretty obvious a few months down the road anyway, no test needed.


I know, I was just taking it a step further.

My best friend had an ex who used this tactic for months, claiming to be pregnant. He was all kinds of excited, he loved her, was totally ready to raise  kid, They got hitched. Couple months later she claimed to have an abortion, broke his heart. Came clean with the truth a few weeks later.

She was crazy, though.
 
2013-09-01 04:01:13 AM  

the_cnidarian: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Translation: If the husband is offered a paternity test when the wife is present, he will firmly refuse to avoid conflict.

Reality: if the man has the chance to confirm the child is his without conflict, he will take it.


In many (some?) states, if you do not object at the time the birth certificate is made, you are the father regardless of any paternity test in the future.  The test should be required by law before the birth certificate is issued.
 
2013-09-01 04:01:55 AM  
People offering them for sale means nothing -- I can offer a paperback of The Da Vinci Code online for $1,000, but that doesn't mean anyone's going to buy it. I won't get really depressed unless there's actually a strong market for these things (a small part of that will be due to the fact that I threw all of my positive sticks away like a sane person instead of saving them to cash in).
 
2013-09-01 04:02:41 AM  

Emposter: A marriage induced by fraud can be unilaterally dissolved by request.  You go with that plan ladies.


the_cnidarian: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Translation: If the husband is offered a paternity test when the wife is present, he will firmly refuse to avoid conflict.

Reality: if the man has the chance to confirm the child is his without conflict, he will take it.


Odds are, I wouldn't need the marriage dissolved...

the body is another story.
 
2013-09-01 04:02:58 AM  
I think it goes something like this:  Oops, birth control failed.  They quit using birth control for obvious reasons.  Girl actually gets pregnant.
 
2013-09-01 04:03:57 AM  

Emposter: A marriage induced by fraud can be unilaterally dissolved by request.  You go with that plan ladies.



These purchased test results could also be used to manipulate the actions and emotions of a current husband.

Showering his wife with affection at the good news and later gallantly escorting her through the tragedy of miscarriage.
 
2013-09-01 04:04:24 AM  
Wanna get your boyfriend to pop the question?

The question I would pop would be, "who else have you been farking" since I had a vasectomy.
 
2013-09-01 04:05:03 AM  

Admiral_Halsey: I think it goes something like this:  Oops, birth control failed.  They quit using birth control for obvious reasons.  Girl actually gets pregnant.


That's why there needs to be a BC pill/shot for men.
 
2013-09-01 04:06:47 AM  

OgreMagi: the_cnidarian: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Translation: If the husband is offered a paternity test when the wife is present, he will firmly refuse to avoid conflict.

Reality: if the man has the chance to confirm the child is his without conflict, he will take it.

In many (some?) states, if you do not object at the time the birth certificate is made, you are the father regardless of any paternity test in the future.  The test should be required by law before the birth certificate is issued.


In Florida at least you don't even have to be on the birth certificate if you're married. Even if the father doesn't have anything to do with the birth, If the mother can prove you were married at the time of conception then that kid is yours as far as the state is concerned. I had a friend leave his wife when he found out she was pregnant with another guys kid. The state still slapped him with child support because they were married at the time, even though his ex-wife admitted the boy wasn't his.
 
2013-09-01 04:07:26 AM  
Isn't that a biohazard that isn't appropriate to mail?

http://about.usps.com/publications/pub141/standard-prohibited-and-re st ricted-items.htm

Item 19 specifically
 
2013-09-01 04:12:22 AM  
*scans headline*


www.afrobella.com
 
2013-09-01 04:15:02 AM  

OgreMagi: the_cnidarian: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Translation: If the husband is offered a paternity test when the wife is present, he will firmly refuse to avoid conflict.

Reality: if the man has the chance to confirm the child is his without conflict, he will take it.

In many (some?) states, if you do not object at the time the birth certificate is made, you are the father regardless of any paternity test in the future.  The test should be required by law before the birth certificate is issued.


I don't know about that. I have a newborn son and was never asked anything, my wife did the paper work and *boom* he's mine. I agree that tests should be mandatory, however.

I have no doubts though, because Maury.
 
2013-09-01 04:16:03 AM  

the_cnidarian: OgreMagi: the_cnidarian: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Translation: If the husband is offered a paternity test when the wife is present, he will firmly refuse to avoid conflict.

Reality: if the man has the chance to confirm the child is his without conflict, he will take it.

In many (some?) states, if you do not object at the time the birth certificate is made, you are the father regardless of any paternity test in the future.  The test should be required by law before the birth certificate is issued.

I don't know about that. I have a newborn son and was never asked anything, my wife did the paper work and *boom* he's mine. I agree that tests should be mandatory, however.

I have no doubts though, because Maury.

Murray.

/ftfy
 
2013-09-01 04:18:02 AM  

Esroc: .Anthracite: I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?

Fark has been the last place news gets posted to for quite awhile now. I usually just come here for the discussion after reading the news elsewhere and it usually takes hours before the story pops up here.


Hours, you say! My word.

I remember when news was nightly. Or sometimes even weekly.
 
2013-09-01 04:19:04 AM  

TomD9938: Emposter: A marriage induced by fraud can be unilaterally dissolved by request.  You go with that plan ladies.

These purchased test results could also be used to manipulate the actions and emotions of a current husband.


Yes, they could, though I expect that in the long run the loss will outweigh whatever short term gain there is.  If nothing else, I would think it would be good ammo at the inevitable divorce hearings, though not as good as actual infidelity.

Showering his wife with affection at the good news and later gallantly escorting her through the tragedy of miscarriage.

I'm not an expert on miscarriages, but I expect that faking one is significantly harder than faking a pregnancy test.  Still, you have a sneaky mind.
 
2013-09-01 04:19:07 AM  

robohobo: the_cnidarian: OgreMagi: the_cnidarian: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Translation: If the husband is offered a paternity test when the wife is present, he will firmly refuse to avoid conflict.

Reality: if the man has the chance to confirm the child is his without conflict, he will take it.

In many (some?) states, if you do not object at the time the birth certificate is made, you are the father regardless of any paternity test in the future.  The test should be required by law before the birth certificate is issued.

I don't know about that. I have a newborn son and was never asked anything, my wife did the paper work and *boom* he's mine. I agree that tests should be mandatory, however.

I have no doubts though, because Maury. Murray.

/ftfy


There was a case of some guy who was slapped with child support by the state.  The woman had picked his name out of the phone book.  Despite never having met the woman, he was forced to spend thousands of dollars in attorney fees fighting it, even after the woman admitted he wasn't the father.
 
2013-09-01 04:21:53 AM  

robohobo: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Then offer them quietly. Perhaps write it into insurance requirements. Too many women tricking their poor husbands into raising someone else's bastard.


Chimps do this. Most primates do, I believe.

While the alpha is making his rounds, some beta is farking his harem. He assumes the kids are his, of course.

You'd think that humans would be smart enough to assume otherwise.
 
2013-09-01 04:28:53 AM  

sendtodave: He assumes the kids are his, of course.


You just come to love them so much, that any doubts over paternity are simply shelved.

www.mediacircus.net
 
2013-09-01 04:29:17 AM  

sendtodave: robohobo: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Then offer them quietly. Perhaps write it into insurance requirements. Too many women tricking their poor husbands into raising someone else's bastard.

Chimps do this. Most primates do, I believe.

While the alpha is making his rounds, some beta is farking his harem. He assumes the kids are his, of course.

You'd think that humans would be smart enough to assume otherwise.


Not just primates or even mammals. This has been observed in bullfrogs too. When the big boys are defending their territories and the females are getting all worked up, the little guys on the edge of the pond are fertilizing all the eggs. Of course they are likely to eat each other regardless of heritage. So there's that.
 
2013-09-01 04:29:42 AM  

Anthracite: I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?


Shut up.

The "I saw this already" police need to go.

its a NEWS AGGREGATOR.  everything has already been seen elsewhere.  its how it works.
 
2013-09-01 04:31:50 AM  

robohobo: Admiral_Halsey: I think it goes something like this:  Oops, birth control failed.  They quit using birth control for obvious reasons.  Girl actually gets pregnant.

That's why there needs to be a BC pill/shot for men.


There's already a BC shot for men.  It's called a facial.
 
2013-09-01 04:32:08 AM  

I sound fat: Anthracite: I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?

Shut up.

The "I saw this already" police need to go.

its a NEWS AGGREGATOR.  everything has already been seen elsewhere.  its how it works.


I saw this argument already, somewhere else.
 
2013-09-01 04:34:15 AM  
Now that's just dirty
 
2013-09-01 04:43:11 AM  

Candygram for Mongo: robohobo: Admiral_Halsey: I think it goes something like this:  Oops, birth control failed.  They quit using birth control for obvious reasons.  Girl actually gets pregnant.

That's why there needs to be a BC pill/shot for men.

There's already a BC shot for men.  It's called a facial.


-ba dump bump tsish-
 
2013-09-01 04:48:11 AM  

robohobo: My best friend had an ex who used this tactic for months, claiming to be pregnant. He was all kinds of excited, he loved her, was totally ready to raise kid, They got hitched. Couple months later she claimed to have an abortion, broke his heart. Came clean with the truth a few weeks later.


Since he was male and she wasn't I'll be there was no legal repercussion whatsoever, even if he filed for it.
 
2013-09-01 04:50:19 AM  

pecosdave: robohobo: My best friend had an ex who used this tactic for months, claiming to be pregnant. He was all kinds of excited, he loved her, was totally ready to raise kid, They got hitched. Couple months later she claimed to have an abortion, broke his heart. Came clean with the truth a few weeks later.

Since he was male and she wasn't I'll be there was no legal repercussion whatsoever, even if he filed for it.


He just let it go and divorced her. Never looked back. Now he has an innate distrust of women, and it's too bad. Best guy I know.
 
2013-09-01 04:50:27 AM  

robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.


Paternity tests should be required at every birth.
 
2013-09-01 04:51:23 AM  
We've already solved this problem in drug testing with direct observation specimen collection. I don't seem why the same couldn't apply.
 
2013-09-01 04:52:12 AM  

Esroc: The state still slapped him with child support because they were married at the time, even though his ex-wife admitted the boy wasn't his.


Sound like an eighth amendment violation.  The state law needs to change.
 
2013-09-01 04:54:25 AM  
this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.
 
2013-09-01 04:58:03 AM  
So, men are essentially targets, sperm donors and ATMs, now?  Oh, tee hee hee.  Enjoy your cats, housecoat and sh*tty job, ladies.
 
2013-09-01 04:58:49 AM  

accelerus: After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em... I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.


Sounds like you could have been a contributor to this book.  I'm in the process of reading it right now.  The book is full of stuff most of us guys should find pretty obvious, but should hopefully be eye opening to women getting upset that good guys are disappearing.
 
2013-09-01 05:09:02 AM  
Proverbs 21:9  "It's better to live in a corner on the roof than to share a house with a contentious woman."

Doubly so a con artist.

This is why men run like hell from commitment, ladies.  It's not "childish".  Treating a man like a child doesn't make him one.

It's self preservation.
 
2013-09-01 05:24:10 AM  

accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.


Nice guys usually don't have to point out that they are nice.
 
2013-09-01 05:27:22 AM  
Skip over all the leeches and retire at 40 guys.
 
2013-09-01 05:29:11 AM  

pecosdave: accelerus: After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em... I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Sounds like you could have been a contributor to this book.  I'm in the process of reading it right now.  The book is full of stuff most of us guys should find pretty obvious, but should hopefully be eye opening to women getting upset that good guys are disappearing.



To be honest, the only women I see complaining that good guys are disappearing are the horrible, immature, selfish ones with completely unrealistic expectations. All of my female friends my age (early 30s) are in stable relationships with good, mature, reliable men who have decent jobs and treat them well.
 
2013-09-01 05:45:22 AM  

johncb76006: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

Paternity tests should be required at every birth.


Man, I'd hate to mistrust my wife so much I felt I needed a paternity test, no offense to you all who feel like you would need one. Seems like that isn't a very strong foundation on which to build a future, let alone a family.
 
2013-09-01 05:53:30 AM  
Oh HELL NO!!!!  DNA tests are less expensive than divorce payments and/or child support. ;)
 
2013-09-01 05:54:45 AM  
women, Do NOT try to trap a man.  It will make BOTH of you unhappy.  Trust me on this.  ;)
 
2013-09-01 05:55:19 AM  

croesius: johncb76006: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

Paternity tests should be required at every birth.

Man, I'd hate to mistrust my wife so much I felt I needed a paternity test, no offense to you all who feel like you would need one. Seems like that isn't a very strong foundation on which to build a future, let alone a family.


It's an unfortunate thing, but a reality.
 
2013-09-01 05:55:44 AM  

croesius: johncb76006: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

Paternity tests should be required at every birth.

Man, I'd hate to mistrust my wife so much I felt I needed a paternity test, no offense to you all who feel like you would need one. Seems like that isn't a very strong foundation on which to build a future, let alone a family.


Yeah. Because ignorance is grade A1 foundation material as well.
 
2013-09-01 05:59:13 AM  

zzrhardy: croesius: johncb76006: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

Paternity tests should be required at every birth.

Man, I'd hate to mistrust my wife so much I felt I needed a paternity test, no offense to you all who feel like you would need one. Seems like that isn't a very strong foundation on which to build a future, let alone a family.

Yeah. Because ignorance is grade A1 foundation material as well.


There's a wide chasm between trust and ignorance. Now, if the child shows up with a completely different ethnicity, well yeah, go get that test. But if the first thing you think of when your significant other lets you know she's pregnant is "Who else has this whore been bumpin' uglies with?" I just feel sorry for you.
 
2013-09-01 06:01:24 AM  

because I care: the only women I see complaining that good guys are disappearing are the horrible, immature, selfish ones with completely unrealistic expectations


Unfortunately the percentage of the female population that fits this description is rising on an annual basis as they become indoctrinated by society at large.  There are many indoctrination programs and policies set by governments and school that make certain of it.  Certain women, either through good upbringing, higher intelligence or resistance to indoctrination are going to remain as "the good ones" but those will be less frequent as time passes unless not only do a significant number of people realize it's happening and decide to do something about it or there's some other breaking point.
 
2013-09-01 06:03:38 AM  
I predict the tide of this thread will turn once morning hits and the Fark 'feminists' hit the board,
 
2013-09-01 06:04:10 AM  
"U have vuh GI nuh and z0mg teh manzors is the stupid so U get bebbehs and teh munneh, l0ol!1" is   not  feminism.
 
2013-09-01 06:08:52 AM  

robohobo: I predict the tide of this thread will turn once morning hits and the Fark 'feminists' hit the board,


Ah - I can feel the man-hate already.
 
2013-09-01 06:08:53 AM  

croesius: johncb76006: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

Paternity tests should be required at every birth.

Man, I'd hate to mistrust my wife so much I felt I needed a paternity test, no offense to you all who feel like you would need one. Seems like that isn't a very strong foundation on which to build a future, let alone a family.


In my experience - that's never how it happens.

I've never had a woman pass off another man's child as my own - but I've seen marriages and relationships fall apart.  I've been cheated on, and I've cheated too.  In all of the anecdotal experiences I've had or that I've been close to, the relationship *begins* with trust.  Honestly, far more trust that is deserved.  We assume the best, and given no evidence that our spouse is lying, we assume they are telling the truth.

What ends up happening, inevitably, because of that trust; it takes much longer to realize the trust is misplaced.  At which point, the relationship is much further along than it would be otherwise.

So, yeah, on one level, guys can acknowledge women cheat and sometimes pass off other men's children to their partner because it benefits them.  But, nearly all guys *do* trust their partner.  So they don't get the paternity test.

Now, the real kick in the teeth is our legal system.  So, as others have said, in many places, if you put your name on the birth certificate - the kid is yours by default.  And any additional information that comes to light is largely irrelevant.  On a personal level, my wife could lie to me and I could leave her.  That seems fair.  Screw her.  But once Uncle Sam is involved, it's different.  She can lie to me, and if I believe her, even for a short period of time, even at a very emotional time for a new parent - I'm on the hook, enforceable by the power of the US government, for 18 years.  *Maybe* if I'm lucky, and catch it early enough, and gather proof, and hire an expensive lawyer, I can undo that mistake.

But so long as the government is happy to garnish my wages and force me to raise a child (which they are), I can see why people would support mandatory paternity tests.  To phrase it in a 'happier' way - I believe that, at birth, you should have the option of establishing paternity.  If you don't establish who the Father is - then the Government will stay out of it.  If you do establish paternity, then the government will enforce the rights of the Father for the next 18 years.  A paternity test would be part of the process, if the Father is not the biological Father, the biological Father would need to sign away rights and the non-biological Father would be made aware.

If my wife trusts me, she'd trust that I'd support our family.  But if she wants to be sure I'll be legally obligated, we'd need to sign up, and that would include a paternity test.  Then everyone knows what they are getting into.

This will never happen, but I'd support it.
 
2013-09-01 06:10:19 AM  
Trying to trap a man is like trying to teach a pig to sing.  It wastes your time, and it annoys the man ;)
 
2013-09-01 06:11:33 AM  

robohobo: I predict the tide of this thread will turn once morning hits and the Fark 'feminists' hit the board,


Why?  When you call bullsh*t, all you get is the same eye rolling, disdain and canned talking points.  If I have a disagreement with a woman and she yanks out the "Oh, you hate women" card - because she is ALL WOMEN! *snort* - I just look her in the eye and say "No, b*tch, I just hate you."  Honesty as a bludgeon has two ends.  *sigh*  Then again, don't mind me,  I miss women who like to hold hands in the movies.
 
2013-09-01 06:11:36 AM  

robohobo: I predict the tide of this thread will turn once morning hits and the Fark 'feminists' hit the board,


Feminism is like unionsim. The better things get the less reason they have to exist.

If feminists want to go to bat over the right to cuckold guys, then it is an admission they are no longer relevant (just like trade unions).
 
2013-09-01 06:19:02 AM  

zzrhardy: robohobo: I predict the tide of this thread will turn once morning hits and the Fark 'feminists' hit the board,

Feminism is like unionsim. The better things get the less reason they have to exist.

If feminists want to go to bat over the right to cuckold guys, then it is an admission they are no longer relevant (just like trade unions).


My wife is very alpha. Considers herself a feminist. She's also a gifted surgeon. She often runs afoul of other self described feminists who insist on decrying her for sometimes making me dinner, or acquiescing to a request I make. It's very amusing. They don't seem to understand a woman can be a feminist yet still hold her husband in equal regard.
 
2013-09-01 06:27:04 AM  

robohobo: She often runs afoul of other self described feminists who insist on decrying her for sometimes making me dinner, or acquiescing to a request I make


Oh, how ignorant of me.  Feminism, according to these women, is when any relationship with a man is a constant war of wills that they win.  Yeah, sign me up for 50 years of that drying piece of dogsh*t excuse for love.   :  )
 
2013-09-01 06:28:03 AM  
i think honestly the best way for the cunning plan the article seems to be discussing (not the thread) to backfire would be "that's great honey, let's use the ultrasound picture on the wedding invitations so everyone can get all the great news at once!"
 
2013-09-01 06:31:36 AM  

pecosdave: because I care: the only women I see complaining that good guys are disappearing are the horrible, immature, selfish ones with completely unrealistic expectations

Unfortunately the percentage of the female population that fits this description is rising on an annual basis as they become indoctrinated by society at large.  There are many indoctrination programs and policies set by governments and school that make certain of it.  Certain women, either through good upbringing, higher intelligence or resistance to indoctrination are going to remain as "the good ones" but those will be less frequent as time passes unless not only do a significant number of people realize it's happening and decide to do something about it or there's some other breaking point.



Maybe that's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe we, as a society, don't need so many people to get married and have children. Let the men have their video games and porn, and let these women have their Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey box sets and their bitterness. It's not like our species is going to die out of some people remain unmarried and (presumably) childless.
 
2013-09-01 06:32:56 AM  

because I care: Let the men have their video games and porn, and let these women have their Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey box sets and their bitterness. It's not like our species is going to die out of some people remain unmarried and (presumably) childless.


Well, perhaps just the ones who can read and figure out small electronic items.   :  )
 
2013-09-01 06:37:13 AM  

because I care: Maybe that's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe we, as a society, don't need so many people to get married and have children. Let the men have their video games and porn, and let these women have their Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey box sets and their bitterness. It's not like our species is going to die out of some people remain unmarried and (presumably) childless.


Incredibly good argument.

If we stop the wrong part of this - which is the discriminatory policies that are driving so many men to the basement so that those who don't want to take the path aren't forced and we just allow the momentum to go forward for those that do I could almost back this.
 
2013-09-01 06:39:53 AM  
Its a cruel man that does not tell his wife he is sterile
until she tells him she is pregnant
 
2013-09-01 06:48:01 AM  

robohobo: pecosdave: robohobo: My best friend had an ex who used this tactic for months, claiming to be pregnant. He was all kinds of excited, he loved her, was totally ready to raise kid, They got hitched. Couple months later she claimed to have an abortion, broke his heart. Came clean with the truth a few weeks later.

Since he was male and she wasn't I'll be there was no legal repercussion whatsoever, even if he filed for it.

He just let it go and divorced her. Never looked back. Now he has an innate distrust of women, and it's too bad. Best guy I know.


Innate distrust of women?  What's his Fark handle?
 
2013-09-01 06:49:20 AM  

pecosdave: because I care: Maybe that's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe we, as a society, don't need so many people to get married and have children. Let the men have their video games and porn, and let these women have their Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey box sets and their bitterness. It's not like our species is going to die out of some people remain unmarried and (presumably) childless.

Incredibly good argument.

If we stop the wrong part of this - which is the discriminatory policies that are driving so many men to the basement so that those who don't want to take the path aren't forced and we just allow the momentum to go forward for those that do I could almost back this.


What discriminatory policies are these? I'm single by choice, but if I ever did find a girl I wanted to marry I can't think of any policies that would discourage me.
 
2013-09-01 06:51:10 AM  

the_cnidarian: Translation: If the husband is offered a paternity test when the wife is present, he will firmly refuse to avoid conflict.

Reality: if the man has the chance to confirm the child is his without conflict, he will take it.


If they were already married, I suspect most husbands wouldn't actually care.  Genetic material isn't actually particularly important at this phase of human development, aside from screening for diseases.

I mean, the 'screening for disease' part is going to become essentially obligatory within a decade as the cost shrinks to effectively nothing in the context of the normal costs of a pregnancy, given the huge savings that kind of advance screening gives you over your lifetime.  So sort of coincidentally paternity is going to pretty much be automatically tested by 2020 or so for anyone that knows their own risk factors (do the baby's roughly match some combination of your risk factors and your wife's?  No?  It's not yours).

But if people or society really cared about paternity in itself, we'd already automatically screen, parental matching is like a 5$ agar plate and 10 minutes of an intern's time with a piece of equipment less complex than a car battery.  It doesn't happen because we don't care.  Men have already decided to raise a kid with their spouse or not, society's sole interest is that a given kid be raised by more than one person.  That's about the limit of it.
 
2013-09-01 06:51:19 AM  

because I care: pecosdave: because I care: Maybe that's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe we, as a society, don't need so many people to get married and have children. Let the men have their video games and porn, and let these women have their Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey box sets and their bitterness. It's not like our species is going to die out of some people remain unmarried and (presumably) childless.

Incredibly good argument.

If we stop the wrong part of this - which is the discriminatory policies that are driving so many men to the basement so that those who don't want to take the path aren't forced and we just allow the momentum to go forward for those that do I could almost back this.

What discriminatory policies are these? I'm single by choice, but if I ever did find a girl I wanted to marry I can't think of any policies that would discourage me.


Automatic preference in divorce and child-related proceedings? Men are always considered guilty until proven possibly innocent while women of course can't possibly have done wrong.
 
2013-09-01 06:55:41 AM  

Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.


Make them mandatory. Covers all the bases.
 
2013-09-01 06:58:16 AM  

Jim_Callahan: the_cnidarian: Translation: If the husband is offered a paternity test when the wife is present, he will firmly refuse to avoid conflict.

Reality: if the man has the chance to confirm the child is his without conflict, he will take it.

If they were already married, I suspect most husbands wouldn't actually care.  Genetic material isn't actually particularly important at this phase of human development, aside from screening for diseases.

I mean, the 'screening for disease' part is going to become essentially obligatory within a decade as the cost shrinks to effectively nothing in the context of the normal costs of a pregnancy, given the huge savings that kind of advance screening gives you over your lifetime.  So sort of coincidentally paternity is going to pretty much be automatically tested by 2020 or so for anyone that knows their own risk factors (do the baby's roughly match some combination of your risk factors and your wife's?  No?  It's not yours).

But if people or society really cared about paternity in itself, we'd already automatically screen, parental matching is like a 5$ agar plate and 10 minutes of an intern's time with a piece of equipment less complex than a car battery.  It doesn't happen because we don't care.  Men have already decided to raise a kid with their spouse or not, society's sole interest is that a given kid be raised by more than one person.  That's about the limit of it.


I'd argue most men choose to trust their partner. Nothing wrong with that. Combined with the who jezebel.com movement where women blah blah blah and don't you dare question or have a problem with the movement bullshiat. Just bouncing around in google, 3/10th of British men are raising batstard who aren't theirs.This isn't just wrong, it's farked up on so many levels.
 
2013-09-01 07:01:30 AM  

because I care: What discriminatory policies are these? I'm single by choice, but if I ever did find a girl I wanted to marry I can't think of any policies that would discourage me.


robohobo covered a lot of it for me.  It's not just divorce though, colleges have a lot of horrible programs and the entire educational system has been regeared to favor girls.
 
2013-09-01 07:03:14 AM  

robohobo: and don't you dare


And that is precisely the juncture at which I tell whoever is selling that K-Mart authority pose, man or woman, to go take a flying f*ck at a rolling doughnut.  If your movement needs my nose up it's ass to be a success, your movement is f*cked 8 ways from last week. Respect is an earned commodity.  You don't put a quarter in, press a button and kick the machine if it doesn't fall out.
 
2013-09-01 07:08:03 AM  

robohobo: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Then offer them quietly. Perhaps write it into insurance requirements. Too many women tricking their poor husbands into raising someone else's bastard.


What percentage of pregnancies do you think fall into this category? How many women is too many?
 
2013-09-01 07:09:23 AM  

gulogulo: robohobo: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Then offer them quietly. Perhaps write it into insurance requirements. Too many women tricking their poor husbands into raising someone else's bastard.

What percentage of pregnancies do you think fall into this category? How many women is too many?


Even one is too many. End of story.
 
2013-09-01 07:18:58 AM  
Some people see life as a challenge as to what they can accomplish.  Some people see life as a challenge as to what they can "get away with".  I am not responsible for the gender line statistics as to who decides which.
 
2013-09-01 07:21:17 AM  
They've already outlawed selling urine to use to defeat drug screening where I am.  Yes, selling your pee can land you in jail for 12 months, and/or net you a $2500 fine.
 
2013-09-01 07:21:28 AM  

sendtodave: robohobo: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Then offer them quietly. Perhaps write it into insurance requirements. Too many women tricking their poor husbands into raising someone else's bastard.

Chimps do this. Most primates do, I believe.

While the alpha is making his rounds, some beta is farking his harem. He assumes the kids are his, of course.

You'd think that humans would be smart enough to assume otherwise.


Humans really don't exhibit true alpha-beta behavior as a species. Marriage really wouldn't exist if it did. Some men might like to think they are alphas, or whatever.


Reminds me of some theory that hormone based birth controls screw up how women select partners... Interesting theory, but....
 
2013-09-01 07:22:58 AM  
I wonder if Jezebel will run this article
 
2013-09-01 07:24:43 AM  

filter: Humans really don't exhibit true alpha-beta behavior as a species. Marriage really wouldn't exist if it did. Some men might like to think they are alphas, or whatever.


You would think that with all of this objective reasoning and self-awareness of our own mortal state that we would have figured out by now that nobody wins.
 
2013-09-01 07:26:04 AM  

johncb76006: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

Paternity tests should be required at every birth.


the divorce rate would explode
 
2013-09-01 07:26:43 AM  
Whoa.
 
2013-09-01 07:27:04 AM  

pecosdave: because I care: What discriminatory policies are these? I'm single by choice, but if I ever did find a girl I wanted to marry I can't think of any policies that would discourage me.

robohobo covered a lot of it for me.  It's not just divorce though, colleges have a lot of horrible programs and the entire educational system has been regeared to favor girls.


But do men actually cite these things as reasons to not get married? I don't mean just in the abstract; are there men who would otherwise marry a specific woman, but refuse to do so because of these reasons?

/I do think that divorce and child support laws could stand to be updated if we as a society truly want things to be 'equal'
 
2013-09-01 07:28:17 AM  

robohobo: gulogulo: robohobo: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Then offer them quietly. Perhaps write it into insurance requirements. Too many women tricking their poor husbands into raising someone else's bastard.

What percentage of pregnancies do you think fall into this category? How many women is too many?

Even one is too many. End of story.


Somehow I knew that tired trope was going to be marched out. Come on. That's a little crazy, don't you think? You are all cringing over some imagined boogeyman for something that is the exception rather than the rule.  Your wife sounds awesome by the way.  In fact, what she is doing is the definition of feminism, not man hating. It actually has never been about that.

To wit, I see the quandary. The fear of fathering someone else's offspring is deeply ingrained biologically in many animals. Yet there is no 'truth' in the reality you presume that it is widespread and growing. That is a construction of your fears, and fanned by the unique little community is on here of like minded individuals.  I abhor cheating, but in my eyes, to have that seed of distrust planted in the relationship early is going to be like a wound left to fester.  It does trouble me that the 'tone' of the arguments put forth on here seems to presume women to be some monolithic, even infantile, creature that does not come with individuality or personhood. That as offensive to me as the laws that assume the mother is the best option in custody, or that all men are potential rapists.
 
2013-09-01 07:29:05 AM  
This all said, I'm an ethnic minority with very dominant genes, living in a very homogenous genetically recessive country. My kids don't look anything like their mother. Nice it works that way--- everyone comments their father must be a foreigner. Works for me.
 
2013-09-01 07:31:46 AM  

because I care: pecosdave: because I care: What discriminatory policies are these? I'm single by choice, but if I ever did find a girl I wanted to marry I can't think of any policies that would discourage me.

robohobo covered a lot of it for me.  It's not just divorce though, colleges have a lot of horrible programs and the entire educational system has been regeared to favor girls.

But do men actually cite these things as reasons to not get married? I don't mean just in the abstract; are there men who would otherwise marry a specific woman, but refuse to do so because of these reasons?

/I do think that divorce and child support laws could stand to be updated if we as a society truly want things to be 'equal'


No-- but I married late... something about 'free milk.' And seeing a lot of friends divorcing or hating married life.
 
2013-09-01 07:31:58 AM  

gulogulo: robohobo: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Then offer them quietly. Perhaps write it into insurance requirements. Too many women tricking their poor husbands into raising someone else's bastard.

What percentage of pregnancies do you think fall into this category? How many women is too many?


If you want to search for it, the term is delicated described as a "non paternity event" in studies. It is commonly quoted at around 10% but varies wildly. The "spikes" generally occur in those cases where the guy thinks he is being duped.

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-paternity_event
 
2013-09-01 07:39:07 AM  

croesius: johncb76006: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

Paternity tests should be required at every birth.

Man, I'd hate to mistrust my wife so much I felt I needed a paternity test, no offense to you all who feel like you would need one. Seems like that isn't a very strong foundation on which to build a future, let alone a family.


Why not look at it the other way?

Why would a faithful wife feel that a paternity test is any way impugning her honesty? After all, if she's done nothing wrong she has nothing to worry about.

Only one of the two partners is risking being deceived and forced to pay for a child that isn't theirs. Why shouldn't that issue be addressed as a matter of course? Nobody who has done the right thing would be inconvenienced in any way by compulsory paternity testing.
 
2013-09-01 07:39:50 AM  

zzrhardy: If you want to search for it, the term is delicated described as a "non paternity event" in studies. It is commonly quoted at around 10% but varies wildly. The "spikes" generally occur in those cases where the guy thinks he is being duped.


You really should read your own article.  It says the very next line that it is an over estimate and more likely right around 3% (median).  You have to remember the statistics without how big that cohort is does not tell a complete picture.  Are the spikes due to a cohort of say 20 people who were already worried about paternity? or 2000?  Those are very different pictures. I'm not advocating for "non paternity events'.
 
2013-09-01 07:42:06 AM  

Trapper439: croesius: johncb76006: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

Paternity tests should be required at every birth.

Man, I'd hate to mistrust my wife so much I felt I needed a paternity test, no offense to you all who feel like you would need one. Seems like that isn't a very strong foundation on which to build a future, let alone a family.

Why not look at it the other way?

Why would a faithful wife feel that a paternity test is any way impugning her honesty? After all, if she's done nothing wrong she has nothing to worry about.


nice (and could have good effects on other subjects where that reasoning is used)
 
2013-09-01 07:56:03 AM  

OgreMagi: the_cnidarian: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Translation: If the husband is offered a paternity test when the wife is present, he will firmly refuse to avoid conflict.

Reality: if the man has the chance to confirm the child is his without conflict, he will take it.

In many (some?) states, if you do not object at the time the birth certificate is made, you are the father regardless of any paternity test in the future.  The test should be required by law before the birth certificate is issued.


hells yes paternity should be proven before certification. and that certification should carry financial responsibility. might cut down on a few babby daddy having 9 children with 4 different hos.
 
2013-09-01 07:58:40 AM  

OgreMagi: Wanna get your boyfriend to pop the question?

The question I would pop would be, "who else have you been farking" since I had a vasectomy.


Yep. Got one a few days after I turned 18. People only find out on a need to know basis (you Farkers don't' count), and if it isn't a chick I'm dating that's claiming to be pregnant, there's no need to know. Only had to use it once but the look on her face was PRICELESS.

/yeah I learned not to stick it in crazy
//maybe
 
2013-09-01 08:01:23 AM  

KrispyKritter: OgreMagi: the_cnidarian: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Translation: If the husband is offered a paternity test when the wife is present, he will firmly refuse to avoid conflict.

Reality: if the man has the chance to confirm the child is his without conflict, he will take it.

In many (some?) states, if you do not object at the time the birth certificate is made, you are the father regardless of any paternity test in the future.  The test should be required by law before the birth certificate is issued.

hells yes paternity should be proven before certification. and that certification should carry financial responsibility. might cut down on a few babby daddy having 9 children with 4 different hos.


Not in the state's best interest. Men could refuse the test- lotsa kids with fathers unknown.

Best solution is to avoid this risk entirely-- know your partner!
 
2013-09-01 08:03:15 AM  
any woman who would even consider this should go seek psychiatric help.
 
2013-09-01 08:05:16 AM  

Alexei Novikov: OgreMagi: Wanna get your boyfriend to pop the question?

The question I would pop would be, "who else have you been farking" since I had a vasectomy.

Yep. Got one a few days after I turned 18. People only find out on a need to know basis (you Farkers don't' count), and if it isn't a chick I'm dating that's claiming to be pregnant, there's no need to know. Only had to use it once but the look on her face was PRICELESS.

/yeah I learned not to stick it in crazy
//maybe


but you do ride bareback so that's crazy in itself.
 
2013-09-01 08:07:53 AM  
I knew a couple that got married after she claimed to be pregnant. 12 months later she had a baby.
 
2013-09-01 08:08:35 AM  
I'lltry to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:
I got a vasectomy.
I met a girlsoon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at thetime and I could practically HEAR her biologicalclock ticking. Regardless,she was a good lay, easy on theeyes, and reasonably good company.
I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that thecondom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.
We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but shebrought it up ocassionally. For me,this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that shewas planning very carefully.
Four monthsinto dating, I getthe "I'm pregnant" talk. She's goingon and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for thebaby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby inher and she thinks she's gonnahave a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.
At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pullthe reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't thinkbeyond their own uteri.
So I wait a coupleof days to "think about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she shouldhave an abortion. I know where this is goingand sure enough it goes there. She goes completely bat**** insane on me. There were theusual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.
Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messageson my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing hysterically.
It was time to drop thehammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I geta notarized copy of theTWO test results indicatinga "negative test result for sperm" to showI'm sterile and shootingblanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen theother documentsand is prepared to litigateagainst this woman if she continuesto communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insiston DNA testing to showthat thebaby is not mine. I'm ready.
I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilitiesas a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket thedocuments I have prepared.
She's all giddy again. Her plan is goingperfectly - or so shethinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. "Are you sure that this baby is mine?"
Well, shegoes bat**** insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she's really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I thinkshe's a slut. I'm just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities... blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.
I'm not really mad. I'm kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won't shut up and theneighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sitson thesofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit shehas wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.
I reach into my pocketslowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately.
I tell her simply, "You're screwed".
Her look doesn't change. There is no way shecan fathom what I have prepared.
I continue. "I am sterile"
Her look changes just a bit. Somethingis beginning to sink in. Naturally, shereverts to women's logic. "You're full of ****. You're trapped and you know it."
I hold up theletter and the test results. "Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showingthat I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shootingblanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine."
This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. "Bull****, those are fakes."
I was ready for that. "No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It's a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insiston a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine."
I give thewoman all thedocuments. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feelin her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, shestarted to cry. It's a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing.
I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.

The Moral of the Story -
Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret.
 
2013-09-01 08:09:11 AM  
Came for the Craigslist vasectomy story. Had to do it myself.


 Vasectomy: $400. Speechless look on her face: priceless.I'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:


I got a vasectomy.

I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.

I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.

We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.

Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.

At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't think beyond their own uteri.

So I wait a couple of days to "think about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she should have an abortion. I know where this is going and sure enough it goes there. She goes completely batshiat insane on me. There were the usual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.

Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing hysterically.

It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a "negative test result for sperm" to show I'm sterile and shooting blanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I'm ready.

I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared.

She's all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. "Are you sure that this baby is mine?"

Well, she goes batshiat insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she's really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she's a slut. I'm just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities... blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I'm not really mad. I'm kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won't shut up and the neighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.

I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately.

I tell her simply, "You're screwed".

Her look doesn't change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared.

I continue. "I am sterile"

Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women's logic. "You're full of shiat. You're trapped and you know it."

I hold up the letter and the test results. "Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine."

This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. "Bullshiat, those are fakes."

I was ready for that. "No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It's a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine."

I give the woman all the documents. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feel in her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, she started to cry. It's a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing.

I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.

Epilogue -

I never heard directly from this woman again. I did hear through my friends that she did indeed have the baby. I also heard that the real father was some guy in a band she had met. I assumed that after 30, women stopped going after musicians, bikers, criminals, and thugs. Silly me for thinking the best of American women.

The Moral of the Story -

Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret.
 Location: Manhoodit's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
 
2013-09-01 08:16:36 AM  
Guys, when a girl gets pregnant, she won't stop at one test.  She will usually buy at least 3 tests, of various brands, and try them all.
 
2013-09-01 08:18:14 AM  
That sounds like a good way to get punched.
 
2013-09-01 08:20:53 AM  
c3e308.medialib.glogster.com
 
2013-09-01 08:22:51 AM  

freak7: 420Gabriel: Not sure I believe the story.

Check Chicago, I got 3 results when searching for "positive pregnancy test".


The question is were the ads there before or after people read stories about them on facebook? I'm going with after.
 
2013-09-01 08:22:57 AM  

accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.


You sound kind of ugly.
 
2013-09-01 08:26:19 AM  
So, is the real mother the woman who sold the test on Craigslist or the girlfriend who brought it?

tessant.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com
 
2013-09-01 08:28:57 AM  

Emposter: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

They should be required, but that's irrelevant to this particular type of deception, since these women are faking pregnancies.  You can't test a non-existence baby, and the lie becomes pretty obvious a few months down the road anyway, no test needed.


the plan then is to fake a miscarriage i bet. Interestingly, if you're married and your wife has a child and you are not the father then get the obvious divorce you are still on the hook for child support. IIRC and it may be on a state by state basis
 
2013-09-01 08:30:13 AM  

Mark Ratner: accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.

You sound kind of ugly.


and wise beyond your years
 
2013-09-01 08:32:41 AM  

Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.


This. You do it in secret after the fact.
 
2013-09-01 08:34:11 AM  

Emposter: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

They should be required, but that's irrelevant to this particular type of deception, since these women are faking pregnancies.  You can't test a non-existence baby, and the lie becomes pretty obvious a few months down the road anyway, no test needed.


Lol...

The women fark you like rabid bunnies trying to get pregnant...so...its a win win for a little while at least...
 
2013-09-01 08:36:31 AM  
Who would that ever work on?

cdn.bleacherreport.net
 
2013-09-01 08:37:58 AM  
i.huffpost.com

Tanisha, you are NOT the mother!
 
2013-09-01 08:41:32 AM  

Esroc: .Anthracite: I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?

Fark has been the last place news gets posted to for quite awhile now. I usually just come here for the discussion after reading the news elsewhere and it usually takes hours before the story pops up here.


yup.. used to come here for breaking news... not anymore
 
2013-09-01 08:45:16 AM  
 
2013-09-01 08:46:49 AM  
 
2013-09-01 08:46:56 AM  

I sound fat: Anthracite: I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?

Shut up.

The "I saw this already" police need to go.

its a NEWS AGGREGATOR.  everything has already been seen elsewhere.  its how it works.


You sound fat
 
2013-09-01 08:56:01 AM  
Yet another problem that could be solved if people waited until marriage to have sex.
 
2013-09-01 08:57:32 AM  
This is great until the boyfriends get a paternity test.
 
2013-09-01 09:00:21 AM  

croesius: johncb76006: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

Paternity tests should be required at every birth.

Man, I'd hate to mistrust my wife so much I felt I needed a paternity test, no offense to you all who feel like you would need one. Seems like that isn't a very strong foundation on which to build a future, let alone a family.


My brother trusted his wife until I took hairs from his kid and had a paternity test and it turned out not to be his.   Needless to say, he was a horrible man and dumped her and ruined his neighbor's marriage.
 
2013-09-01 09:02:21 AM  

Mazzic518:
yup.. used to come here for breaking news... not anymore


I know, right? When I want to know about how using Q-tips introduces ear mites into your brain, I want to know it now.

Oh yeah, that story hasn't made it here yet. Here, clean your ears while we're waiting.
 
2013-09-01 09:06:50 AM  

cryinoutloud: Mazzic518:
yup.. used to come here for breaking news... not anymore

I know, right? When I want to know about how using Q-tips introduces ear mites into your brain, I want to know it now.

Oh yeah, that story hasn't made it here yet. Here, clean your ears while we're waiting.


Post the link!!! I just took a shower and used q-tips afterwards, so I'm not getting a kick...!!!!
 
2013-09-01 09:10:11 AM  
CSB time:

Check the expiration date if she's using the contraceptive foam.

/guess who's a daddy...
 
2013-09-01 09:19:24 AM  

Mark Ratner: Post the link!!! I just took a shower and used q-tips afterwards, so I'm not getting a kick...!!!


Dude.......it's.....I'm so sorry. I've seen your posts. I'm afraid it's too late for you. I'm so proud of you, though, for continuing to post even when most of your cognitive functioning is already gone.
 
msP
2013-09-01 09:19:40 AM  

blockhouse: Yet another problem that could be solved if people waited until marriage to have sex.


Yes, because of course no one who prescribes to your Christian way of thinking has ever done anything bad like be unfaithful to their partner after marriage.

/I hope you're a troll.
 
2013-09-01 09:19:49 AM  

boinkingbill: This is great until the boyfriends get a paternity test.

 
2013-09-01 09:21:05 AM  

cryinoutloud: Mazzic518:
yup.. used to come here for breaking news... not anymore

I know, right? When I want to know about how using Q-tips introduces ear mites into your brain, I want to know it now.

Oh yeah, that story hasn't made it here yet. Here, clean your ears while we're waiting.


Phew I cannot afford Q-Tips and use a generic brand, I'm safe
 
2013-09-01 09:21:16 AM  

fenianfark: boinkingbill: This is great until the boyfriends get a paternity test.


Damn, image post fail. Let's try that again.

31.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-01 09:21:21 AM  

sendtodave: accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.

Nice guys usually don't have to point out that they are nice.


Usually very true -- but seeing as how you and I are more than likely hundreds or thousands of miles apart and have very little chance of ever getting to know each other, I figure I'd save some time and wonderment and just tell you.  The comment itself is relevant to the subject in a forum atmosphere.

Would be totally weird if I just use that as my opening line on a woman though, and would rightfully send off some warning flags if she was on her toes.   That would be like if a woman came up to me and started with "hi my names Jane, I'm totally not a crazed psycho stalker beeoch"  heh

My comment was also based on what I personally see most of the time with women I know directly or indirectly that make some of the dumbest choices when it comes to men. Treating him like a house and doing the ole' "fixer upper" routine never works.  Before they know it they are twice divorced, with a kid or 3 and still have no clue how their life got so screwed up.
 
2013-09-01 09:22:08 AM  

robohobo: zzrhardy: robohobo: I predict the tide of this thread will turn once morning hits and the Fark 'feminists' hit the board,

Feminism is like unionsim. The better things get the less reason they have to exist.

If feminists want to go to bat over the right to cuckold guys, then it is an admission they are no longer relevant (just like trade unions).

My wife is very alpha. Considers herself a feminist. She's also a gifted surgeon. She often runs afoul of other self described feminists who insist on decrying her for sometimes making me dinner, or acquiescing to a request I make. It's very amusing. They don't seem to understand a woman can be a feminist yet still hold her husband in equal regard.


I'm pretty alpha, a director-level PI with a PhD, professionally. My marriage is a partnership regardless of sex, we take on tasks we're best suited for.

Anyway, guys, if you're dating a GF whom you are trusting to handle blocks to procreation but it turns out she has the need to take pregnancy tests --honestly or not -- then you need to wear a condom, get a vasectomy or stop farking her immediately.

It's idiotic to be barebacking a woman you have no plans on having kids with.
 
2013-09-01 09:25:23 AM  

Go Fornicate Without a Partner: CSB time:
Check the expiration date if she's using the contraceptive foam.
/guess who's a daddy...


That foam doesn't work, forget the farking "expiration date." I had an abortion many years ago after using the Sponge (not the Fark poster, a BC product). It's foam put on a little round cap that you put inside you. "30% failure rate", the lady at Planned Parenthood told me, right before she stuck something right up my baby-maker.

www.meijer.com

DO NOT WANT
 
2013-09-01 09:25:55 AM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: It's idiotic to be barebacking a woman you have no plans on having kids with.


THIS. Your swimmers (and what they might become with the help of a homologous string of haploid DNA) are YOUR responsibility.
 
2013-09-01 09:38:19 AM  

Mark Ratner: accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.

You sound kind of ugly.


Quite the opposite actually -- mostly what it is:  I'm lazy.  I'm some sort of sexual vampire that only comes out to feed maybe once every month or two. Don't get me wrong it was awesome when I had a serous g/f and could get my junk waxed on a daily basis, but in the long run it's sometimes not worth it.  I *really* like sitting around in my underwear, by myself, playing video games, or out shooting pool, or whatever.  Between work, and the house I just bought, I'm already neglecting my PC too much, a woman would suck away what precious little time I Have.
 
2013-09-01 09:41:36 AM  

accelerus: Mark Ratner: accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.

You sound kind of ugly.

Quite the opposite actually -- mostly what it is:  I'm lazy.  I'm some sort of sexual vampire that only comes out to feed maybe once every month or two. Don't get me wrong it was awesome when I had a serous g/f and could get my junk waxed on a daily basis, but in the long run it's sometimes not worth it.  I *really* like sitting around in my underwear, by myself, playing video games, or out shooting pool, or whatever.  Between work, and the house I just bought, I'm already neglecting my PC too much, a woman would suck away what precious little time I Have.


I was joking. Actually, you sound smart.
 
2013-09-01 09:42:19 AM  

Esroc: .Anthracite: I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?

Fark has been the last place news gets posted to for quite awhile now. I usually just come here for the discussion after reading the news elsewhere and it usually takes hours before the story pops up here.


This. I'm here for the discussion. I don't give a shiat where the story appears first.
 
2013-09-01 09:48:20 AM  
continuing on the topic of where all the "good guys" and "good girls" are in the world.... for the most part I've seen that the social circle you are in during college, the girls you meet, screw, or get serious with .... that's where most of my friends met their spouse and started down the road to the family thing.

Now that's of course not the rule, it's just what I've seen a lot of. The easiest and best way to get a "good" woman on lock is to date her in college and keep it going afterwards as you both continue in your adult life. As someone who's degreed and experienced, it's hell right now trying to meet women who are around my age and in the same boat (being single, not wacked out on drugs or alcohol, financially responsible).  Most of the women my age are realizing how bad they screwed up their first marriage and are now saddled with a kid and a used up body.  Looking around desperately for a man to latch onto and help raise their mistakes.

 When I meet someone and hear they have a degree, I'm like "ohhh nice, potential!" and then 5 minutes later I find out she's divorced and has 2 kids.

Very few people understand that there are people that exist that are 100% fine to live out their lives without a serious mate and/or children.
 
2013-09-01 09:50:59 AM  
Oh man, MRAs are gonna be pissed over this. But then again...they're always pissed. Will anyone outside their circle jerk notice or care? Probably not.
 
2013-09-01 09:58:54 AM  

Mark Ratner: accelerus: Mark Ratner: accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*

After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em...  I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Too bad too -- because I'm generally a nice guy, i.e. I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around.

Every now and then I'll get me a piece of 'tang and call it a day.  Much better off in the long run.

You sound kind of ugly.

Quite the opposite actually -- mostly what it is:  I'm lazy.  I'm some sort of sexual vampire that only comes out to feed maybe once every month or two. Don't get me wrong it was awesome when I had a serous g/f and could get my junk waxed on a daily basis, but in the long run it's sometimes not worth it.  I *really* like sitting around in my underwear, by myself, playing video games, or out shooting pool, or whatever.  Between work, and the house I just bought, I'm already neglecting my PC too much, a woman would suck away what precious little time I Have.

I was joking. Actually, you sound smart.


:)  well if we were in any sort of proximity -- I would suggest we have a beer and totally "bro" out. lol     Sorry I'm on this "bro" kick after watching a ton of How I met your mother, the Bro code fascinates me.
 
2013-09-01 10:00:15 AM  
As a woman, I find the idea of trapping a man to be bad and stupid. Why the fark do you want to marry someone if you have to trick them into it? That's definitely going to be a sad and shiatty marriage.

Quit making women look crazy and evil.
 
2013-09-01 10:08:21 AM  

because I care: pecosdave: because I care: What discriminatory policies are these? I'm single by choice, but if I ever did find a girl I wanted to marry I can't think of any policies that would discourage me.

robohobo covered a lot of it for me.  It's not just divorce though, colleges have a lot of horrible programs and the entire educational system has been regeared to favor girls.

But do men actually cite these things as reasons to not get married? I don't mean just in the abstract; are there men who would otherwise marry a specific woman, but refuse to do so because of these reasons?

/I do think that divorce and child support laws could stand to be updated if we as a society truly want things to be 'equal'


The book I linked to has several interviews where the men have cited it.  I've met a few that use this reasoning as well.  Were it not for reconnecting with someone from back home that I know has a good background and has given lots of thought and consideration to equality is and isn't I probably wouldn't be engaged right now, and may not ever have gotten there again.  It took someone very special to break my standoffishness.  Many men have given up due to something not being right , even if they exactly figure out what it is.
 
2013-09-01 10:22:34 AM  

milkyshirt: As a woman, I find the idea of trapping a man to be bad and stupid. Why the fark do you want to marry someone if you have to trick them into it? That's definitely going to be a sad and shiatty marriage.

Quit making women look crazy and evil.


I like you.  Wish more women were like you.
 
2013-09-01 10:24:43 AM  

pecosdave: because I care: pecosdave: because I care: What discriminatory policies are these? I'm single by choice, but if I ever did find a girl I wanted to marry I can't think of any policies that would discourage me.

robohobo covered a lot of it for me.  It's not just divorce though, colleges have a lot of horrible programs and the entire educational system has been regeared to favor girls.

But do men actually cite these things as reasons to not get married? I don't mean just in the abstract; are there men who would otherwise marry a specific woman, but refuse to do so because of these reasons?

/I do think that divorce and child support laws could stand to be updated if we as a society truly want things to be 'equal'

The book I linked to has several interviews where the men have cited it.  I've met a few that use this reasoning as well.  Were it not for reconnecting with someone from back home that I know has a good background and has given lots of thought and consideration to equality is and isn't I probably wouldn't be engaged right now, and may not ever have gotten there again.  It took someone very special to break my standoffishness.  Many men have given up due to something not being right , even if they exactly figure out what it is.


Hmm. I know it's an oversimplification, but it seems to me that for a lot of women, marriage is the goal, and success is reached when they find a man who is "close enough" to their standards. Whereas for a lot of men marriage isn't necessarily the goal, but if they find the right woman, marriage suddenly becomes a desirable thing. As such, it's hard for me to imagine a man finding a woman he wants to marry, but choosing not to because of the aforementioned reasons. But obviously I'm wrong. And that's okay.

Anyway, I'm glad you found someone worth marrying. That's pretty cool.
 
2013-09-01 10:30:45 AM  

milkyshirt: As a woman, I find the idea of trapping a man to be bad and stupid. Why the fark do you want to marry someone if you have to trick them into it? That's definitely going to be a sad and shiatty marriage.

Quit making women look crazy and evil.


Very few women are actually not crazy and evil, and while this in no way excuses them, it's because there is a long cultural history of making them 'inferior'; generally 'making' them be crazy and evil in order to get things done in the world. And while legal policies are now in place to effect a change, it takes longer to affect the culture.
 
2013-09-01 10:50:12 AM  

because I care: Hmm. I know it's an oversimplification, but it seems to me that for a lot of women, marriage is the goal, and success is reached when they find a man who is "close enough" to their standards. Whereas for a lot of men marriage isn't necessarily the goal, but if they find the right woman, marriage suddenly becomes a desirable thing. As such, it's hard for me to imagine a man finding a woman he wants to marry, but choosing not to because of the aforementioned reasons. But obviously I'm wrong. And that's okay.

Anyway, I'm glad you found someone worth marrying. That's pretty cool.


People get married because there's something in it for them.

To oversimplify - historically a man got someone to have his kids, take care of the home, cook and do domestic things.  The woman got someone who would provide the means for her to do those things.  The home to live in, the food to eat, and of course a father for the kids.

Still to oversimplify - the man is still expected to do all the things he used to, but now he's expected to be just as in touch with all the domestic stuff as well and doing some if not all of it.  (In my first marriage I was expected to be the sole person responsible for every responsibility except for making decisions, making the money and every household duty.)  Now that women have equality it's up to them to determine how much responsibility and what task they'll take on.  I'll admit I was at the extreme end of things when I was married, but in the modern day secular marriage doesn't have a very good cost/benefit ratio for men.

This website has some pretty good insights.  I really liked the Rieko write up.
 
2013-09-01 10:55:21 AM  

Esroc: In Florida at least you don't even have to be on the birth certificate if you're married. Even if the father doesn't have anything to do with the birth, If the mother can prove you were married at the time of conception then that kid is yours as far as the state is concerned. I had a friend leave his wife when he found out she was pregnant with another guys kid. The state still slapped him with child support because they were married at the time, even though his ex-wife admitted the boy wasn't his.


that used to be the law in LA too. not sure if it still is but considering the laws we do have .... a friend got stuck with having her separated husband listed as the father. and the only reason for that was a nurse who didn't like her knew she wasn't divorced yet and told the hospital so.
 
2013-09-01 11:21:34 AM  

pecosdave: milkyshirt: As a woman, I find the idea of trapping a man to be bad and stupid. Why the fark do you want to marry someone if you have to trick them into it? That's definitely going to be a sad and shiatty marriage.

Quit making women look crazy and evil.

I like you.  Wish more women were like you.


There are more women like me, you just haven't been involved with them, or perhaps you broke it off for unrelated reasons.

I feel bad for you guys who've had a bad experience or can't seem to find a nice lady and have been put off from romantic relationships altogether. I get it, I haven't had a serious relationship since I divorced and I've liked it that way. I'm still open to the idea though, if I found someone I *really* liked.

Look at it this way. I've known a number of women who seem to draw nothing but assholes, morons, creeps, or psychos. Now, probably, if these are the only types you wind up dating, it's going to be because (1) there's something about you that attracts them, and/or (2) there's something about them that attracts you and makes you select them. If you can get to the root of that, you may have an easier time finding a female who will treat you right.
 
2013-09-01 11:29:37 AM  
Why isn't this illegal?

It's pretty much blackmail. Or extortion. Whatever. Should be illegal.
 
2013-09-01 11:34:04 AM  
Years ago a guy I worked with was dating this pretty yet crazy girl. After a month of dating she tells him she is a couple weeks pregnent. A week later she tells him it's twins, this set off everyones bs/crazy detector. Soon after that she attacks a girlfriend of ours just for talking to him in a bar. When it all came out she was dumped so fast it could make your head spins plus she got banned from every bar we worked at.
 
2013-09-01 11:46:27 AM  
Fear not, crybaby MRAs... pregnancy tests dissolve shortly after giving you results.
 
2013-09-01 11:51:16 AM  

pecosdave: accelerus: After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em... I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Sounds like you could have been a contributor to this book.  I'm in the process of reading it right now.  The book is full of stuff most of us guys should find pretty obvious, but should hopefully be eye opening to women getting upset that good guys are disappearing.


FTBookDescription:  They are instead actingrationally in response to the lack of incentives society offers them to be responsible fathers, husbands and providers.

Oh wait, you're serious? Let me laugh harder.

/poor, poor oppressed mens
 
2013-09-01 11:53:50 AM  

pecosdave: accelerus: After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em... I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Sounds like you could have been a contributor to this book.  I'm in the process of reading it right now.  The book is full of stuff most of us guys should find pretty obvious, but should hopefully be eye opening to women getting upset that good guys are disappearing.


Good guys are not disappearing, that's laughable. If you're a paranoid jackass, you're not a good guy. Simple as that.
 
2013-09-01 11:54:13 AM  

Emposter: A marriage induced by fraud can be unilaterally dissolved by request.  You go with that plan ladies.


People are awful and should be stopped.

That is all.
 
2013-09-01 11:54:47 AM  
ITT: It's okay, even encouraged, for guys to lie about their birth control usage. The instant a woman does it, however...

/poor, poor oppressed mens...
 
2013-09-01 11:56:12 AM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: robohobo: zzrhardy: robohobo: I predict the tide of this thread will turn once morning hits and the Fark 'feminists' hit the board,

Feminism is like unionsim. The better things get the less reason they have to exist.

If feminists want to go to bat over the right to cuckold guys, then it is an admission they are no longer relevant (just like trade unions).

My wife is very alpha. Considers herself a feminist. She's also a gifted surgeon. She often runs afoul of other self described feminists who insist on decrying her for sometimes making me dinner, or acquiescing to a request I make. It's very amusing. They don't seem to understand a woman can be a feminist yet still hold her husband in equal regard.

I'm pretty alpha, a director-level PI with a PhD, professionally. My marriage is a partnership regardless of sex, we take on tasks we're best suited for.

Anyway, guys, if you're dating a GF whom you are trusting to handle blocks to procreation but it turns out she has the need to take pregnancy tests --honestly or not -- then you need to wear a condom, get a vasectomy or stop farking her immediately.

It's idiotic to be barebacking a woman you have no plans on having kids with.


It's idiotic to be having sex with a partner that you don't trust for whatever reason. Don't people talk (using words) before jumping into the sack?
 
2013-09-01 11:57:25 AM  

blockhouse: Yet another problem that could be solved if people waited until marriage to have sexdiscussed things with their partners before jumping into bed with them.

 
2013-09-01 11:58:01 AM  
That's why I stay busy and single - no time to deal with the nonsense out there.

Pretty jaded too, but eh, I'm getting shiat done.  If I ever run into a woman that clicks with me and looks like she's worth my time, I'll think about it.

For now though, ain't got time for that shiat!

/so alone
 
2013-09-01 11:58:28 AM  
 
2013-09-01 11:58:56 AM  

brainiac-dumdum: pecosdave: accelerus: After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em... I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Sounds like you could have been a contributor to this book.  I'm in the process of reading it right now.  The book is full of stuff most of us guys should find pretty obvious, but should hopefully be eye opening to women getting upset that good guys are disappearing.

Good guys are not disappearing, that's laughable. If you're a paranoid jackass, you're not a good guy. Simple as that.


And if you have to tell people that you're a good guy, chances are you're really not.
 
2013-09-01 12:01:52 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: brainiac-dumdum: pecosdave: accelerus: After a few times of getting screwed over by the opposite sex... fark em... I refuse to waste my time/money/energy on a woman who has a high chance of doing crap like this.

Sounds like you could have been a contributor to this book.  I'm in the process of reading it right now.  The book is full of stuff most of us guys should find pretty obvious, but should hopefully be eye opening to women getting upset that good guys are disappearing.

Good guys are not disappearing, that's laughable. If you're a paranoid jackass, you're not a good guy. Simple as that.

And if you have to tell people that you're a good guy, chances are you're really not.


^this

I'M SUCH A NICE GUY! All these stupid biatches don't know what they're missing!
 
2013-09-01 12:09:00 PM  
Aiding and Abetting Fraud. Hang the biatches.
 
2013-09-01 12:12:46 PM  

Esroc: .Anthracite: I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?

Fark has been the last place news gets posted to for quite awhile now. I usually just come here for the discussion after reading the news elsewhere and it usually takes hours before the story pops up here.

please hours? half the stories are my Yahoo home page at work 2 days before they show up here. albeit without the pithy headlines

 
2013-09-01 12:17:28 PM  

khyberkitsune: Aiding and Abetting Fraud. Hang the biatches.


Sure, why not? Because we've always used capital punishment for fraud.
 
2013-09-01 12:18:21 PM  

milkyshirt: I've known a number of women who seem to draw nothing but assholes, morons, creeps, or psychos. Now, probably, if these are the only types you wind up dating, it's going to be because (1) there's something about you that attracts them, and/or (2) there's something about them that attracts you and makes you select them. If you can get to the root of that, you may have an easier time finding a female who will treat you right.


In my past I was attracted to the wrong type of gal.  I grew up in a very conservative Christian home and I realized at some point that not everyone who wasn't like us was bad.  So I decided to find women who weren't on the conservative, clean bandwagon, and I was forgiving.  I wasn't looking for bad girls exactly, normal ones.  Hard to find.  I dated girls who had been on drugs in the past but weren't now.  They all went back to them, and I'm not talking about a little pot - the ex-wife was one of these.  I realized my mistake before her, but she did pull a trap situation, my daughter was planned, I just wasn't in on the planning.  Much to her dismay I wound up being a great father and it pissed her off to no end, she wanted me to bolt and wanted to stick me with the bill.  Instead she fought and lost to keep our daughter, then kept fighting for seven years until she bled us dry, used a pile of the judge's campaign contributors on her side in trial, and basically won by persistence and rich sugar daddy.

I came across one or two really good ones where there just wasn't any spark.  My last three girlfriends before meeting the fiancée were great people.  One was hung up on another ex and couldn't get over him - we're still friends and she did wind up marrying him eventually.  The next one just had mental issues and responsibility issues that I didn't want - I held onto her for a long time but she just wasn't going to help herself.  I let her go once, she came back but wouldn't make any decisions so I feel bad about it but I drove her off in one "make a decision" conversation.  She hid her issues almost completely for about six months then busted them out all at once.  The last one was very ethical, had kids that I absolutely loved, loved me to death and took good care of me.  Had OCD issues I couldn't handle, I'm very methodical about some things I consider important, like work and my craft, but most everything else is hakuna matata.  It wouldn't have worked out in time.  I've been fortunate over the past six or seven years and I can honestly say the problem was no longer with me, unlike the unsure of what I really wanted me from the age of 18 to 24 when I got trapped.

 There are good women out there.  I highly recommend the last woman I dated to someone with almost traditional values but not strict interpretations of them who would like her kids and can handle or even benefit from her type of OCD.


Finding those women is a challenge.  I never expected to find that woman in an old friends little sister.  I considered that a party foul and sort of resisted the attraction at first, but eventually it got to the point where she wouldn't take no for an answer.  It's great, her family loved me even way back when she was too young and not even a consideration, and they were ecstatic to find out she was dating me now.  Our families have known each other since before either of us were born, they weren't close, but they all knew each other.  Totally unplanned, unexpected, and unlikely considering I'm 700 miles from home and she was 4,000 at the time we started talking.  Maybe Facebook is good for something.
 
2013-09-01 12:18:59 PM  
Okay, let's step back from the flailing and straw feminism here and take a rational look at this approach.

Woman comes to boyfriend with a positive pregnancy test and thinks they should get married. Generally, the first ultrasound in pregnancy is at 8-10 weeks to confirm that the embryo is present and growing properly. So that's about 1 month past the positive test date. If the boyfriend is suspicious, why wouldn't he also go to this ultrasound appointment to confirm that there is an actual pregnancy? And who would really rush to get married in a month? Hell, if he was really concerned he could just ask her to take another test a week later. "Honey, sometimes these tests give false positives, can we take another to be sure?"

Nah, far better to believe that women are conniving biatches and men are too stupid to escape from their golddigging clutches.
 
2013-09-01 12:38:41 PM  
I had my tubes tied, no kids because I don't want them. So no chance to trap a guy.

I like to think that's not the reason I'm single.
 
2013-09-01 12:38:55 PM  
because I care:To be honest, the only women I see complaining that good guys are disappearing are the horrible, immature, selfish ones with completely unrealistic expectations. All of my female friends my age (early 30s) are in stable relationships with good, mature, reliable men who have decent jobs and treat them well.

This.

If both people are respectful, mature, trustful (and trusting) and generous to the other, then healthy relationships (including marriage) come about naturally.

/married
//happily so
 
2013-09-01 12:49:05 PM  
phrawgh: Make them mandatory. Covers all the bases.

Absolutely.  Mandatory testing before any name gets filled in the Parent #2 box.  And the results of the paternity test must be disclosed BEFORE anyone acknowledges paternity.
 
2013-09-01 12:53:12 PM  
Isn't selling a used, positive pregnancy test something like conspiracy to commit fraud?
 
2013-09-01 12:56:38 PM  
Who trusts their future to a dollar store preganacy test?

and

Getting pregnant to trap a man is like using a nuke to get rid of ants.
 
2013-09-01 12:57:05 PM  

willfullyobscure: I'lltry to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:
I got a vasectomy.
I met a girlsoon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at thetime and I could practically HEAR her biologicalclock ticking. Regardless,she was a good lay, easy on theeyes, and reasonably good company.
I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that thecondom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.
We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but shebrought it up ocassionally. For me,this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that shewas planning very carefully.
Four monthsinto dating, I getthe "I'm pregnant" talk. She's goingon and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for thebaby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby inher and she thinks she's gonnahave a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.
At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pullthe reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't thinkbeyond their own uteri.
So I wait a coupleof days to "think about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she shouldhave an abortion. I know where this is goingand sure enough it goes there. She goes completely bat**** insane on me. There were theusual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.
Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messageson my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing hysterically.
It was time to drop thehammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who ...



This particular story has appeared in many Fark threads, verbatim.  Get new material, dude.
 
2013-09-01 01:32:16 PM  

fiddlehead: Okay, let's step back from the flailing and straw feminism here and take a rational look at this approach.

Woman comes to boyfriend with a positive pregnancy test and thinks they should get married. Generally, the first ultrasound in pregnancy is at 8-10 weeks to confirm that the embryo is present and growing properly. So that's about 1 month past the positive test date. If the boyfriend is suspicious, why wouldn't he also go to this ultrasound appointment to confirm that there is an actual pregnancy? And who would really rush to get married in a month? Hell, if he was really concerned he could just ask her to take another test a week later. "Honey, sometimes these tests give false positives, can we take another to be sure?"

Nah, far better to believe that women are conniving biatches and men are too stupid to escape from their golddigging clutches.


Um, if she is willing to fake the first test then she will fake the next ones too.  It wouldn't be hard to 'schedule appointments' with a doctor during his work schedule.  He comes home and she tells him lies about everything going well.

In my story, I was the one who scammed her.  I knocked her up so she had to marry me and have more kids.  Jokes on her, she now has to sleep with me every night.
 
2013-09-01 01:37:01 PM  

salimanmanbebobjo: Who trusts their future to a dollar store preganacy test?

and

Getting pregnant to trap a man is like using a nuke to get rid of ants.


When I first suspected I was pregnant with my second child, I knew it was pretty early so I went and bought one of those expensive ass tests that are supposed to be accurate up to a week or so before the first missed period. It turned out negative.

A few days later my symptoms intensified a bit, so I picked up another test for $1 at a Dollar General. It was positive, and accurate.

It's hard to get a false positive.
 
2013-09-01 01:43:12 PM  

lack of warmth: fiddlehead: Okay, let's step back from the flailing and straw feminism here and take a rational look at this approach.

Woman comes to boyfriend with a positive pregnancy test and thinks they should get married. Generally, the first ultrasound in pregnancy is at 8-10 weeks to confirm that the embryo is present and growing properly. So that's about 1 month past the positive test date. If the boyfriend is suspicious, why wouldn't he also go to this ultrasound appointment to confirm that there is an actual pregnancy? And who would really rush to get married in a month? Hell, if he was really concerned he could just ask her to take another test a week later. "Honey, sometimes these tests give false positives, can we take another to be sure?"

Nah, far better to believe that women are conniving biatches and men are too stupid to escape from their golddigging clutches.

Um, if she is willing to fake the first test then she will fake the next ones too.  It wouldn't be hard to 'schedule appointments' with a doctor during his work schedule.  He comes home and she tells him lies about everything going well.

In my story, I was the one who scammed her.  I knocked her up so she had to marry me and have more kids.  Jokes on her, she now has to sleep with me every night.


Lol, you need to administer the test yourself. Obviously.
 
2013-09-01 02:00:55 PM  

milkyshirt: salimanmanbebobjo: Who trusts their future to a dollar store preganacy test?

and

Getting pregnant to trap a man is like using a nuke to get rid of ants.

When I first suspected I was pregnant with my second child, I knew it was pretty early so I went and bought one of those expensive ass tests that are supposed to be accurate up to a week or so before the first missed period. It turned out negative.

A few days later my symptoms intensified a bit, so I picked up another test for $1 at a Dollar General. It was positive, and accurate.

It's hard to get a false positive.


Yep. My assistant at work came in one Monday about 3 weeks ago all worried and excited at the same time, followed by her best friend (who also works at our office). She comes over to me and in a stage whisper says "I've been knocked up!". I said "are you sure?" and she said "I got 5 positive results on pregnancy tests yesterday!". She then went to a doctor for official confirmation that yes, she was about 6 weeks along by then. She was NOT happy about this; she had been planning her wedding for next June and now, all her plans were just RUINED.

Throw in severe morning sickness, cramps, lack of sleep, worry, constant crying, raging hormones, anxiety, loss of appetite, stress, and nicotine withdrawal (she was a nearly pack a day smoker until the pregnancy test), and she's now like a minefield where I am blindfolded and don't know what the mines even look like, not to mention where they are.

/got yelled at for being 'too nice' to her
//wants to just be left alone, but also to be treated 'like everyone else'
///if she's like this for the entire pregnancy no one around her will survive
 
2013-09-01 02:05:44 PM  
FARKING PATRIARCHY!
 
2013-09-01 02:38:16 PM  
Picture from TFA:

i.dailymail.co.uk

No comments about whether one would hit it?

/Would, but looks like somebody already did, and bought it
 
2013-09-01 02:45:16 PM  
Sometimes I read these threads and am shocked as to how many people's lives are like stories from trashy daytime talk shows.  I guess I know these people exist, but it almost seems comically implausible that they do.  In short, if you find that you are frequently surrounded by people of this nature and you do not like it.  Perhaps you should remove yourself from the situation by either moving or finding new friends/lovers.  You are not a victim if things like this keep happening to you, you are a participant.  None of this is normal or epidemic.  If you think it is, you need to re-evaluate your life.
 
2013-09-01 02:48:56 PM  

lack of warmth: fiddlehead: Okay, let's step back from the flailing and straw feminism here and take a rational look at this approach.

Woman comes to boyfriend with a positive pregnancy test and thinks they should get married. Generally, the first ultrasound in pregnancy is at 8-10 weeks to confirm that the embryo is present and growing properly. So that's about 1 month past the positive test date. If the boyfriend is suspicious, why wouldn't he also go to this ultrasound appointment to confirm that there is an actual pregnancy? And who would really rush to get married in a month? Hell, if he was really concerned he could just ask her to take another test a week later. "Honey, sometimes these tests give false positives, can we take another to be sure?"

Nah, far better to believe that women are conniving biatches and men are too stupid to escape from their golddigging clutches.

Um, if she is willing to fake the first test then she will fake the next ones too.  It wouldn't be hard to 'schedule appointments' with a doctor during his work schedule.  He comes home and she tells him lies about everything going well.


But how will she fake the other ones? Did she buy multiple tests on CL just in case? How will she dupe him if he buys another type of test himself? And if he is really concerned, then he should take time off work to go to the appointment. If he insists but she refuses then that's a huge warning flag. Hell, he could even call the dr and confirm the supposed appointment.
 
2013-09-01 03:16:54 PM  
Hell, might as well have all men have their DNA on file, in case of unknown fathers of pregnancies. Plug the kid's DNA through the database and find the father that way.

No wait, that'd be invasive and creepy. Like mandatory paternity testing would be.
 
2013-09-01 03:17:32 PM  
Much thanks to pecosdave for the TF! Now I can waste even more of my time lurking ;)
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-09-01 03:20:53 PM  
Aiding and Abetting Fraud. Hang the biatches.

It's fraud in some sense, but in my state courts have held that matters of the heart are outside of the court's power to adjudicate. For example: A man lied about wanting kids and strung her along until she was too old before revealing he had had a vasectomy. She sued him for wrecking her life. The court said judges shouldn't get involved in such disputes. I imagine most states are similar. Even the more clearcut "alienation of affection" has been abolished in most states.
 
2013-09-01 03:27:17 PM  
ex-fiance got knocked up, except she went through testing as a kid due to abuse from an uncle.  Testing showed she had a congenital defect which rendered her ovaries sterile.  She was the one shooting blanks.  So from day one, after the std tests are said and done, we start off sans protection because she's shooting blanks anyway.  3 weeks later, she's pregnant.  After 6 weeks, she has a miscarriage.  The egg wasn't an egg, just one of the blanks, but it had started to gestate in her womb, rather than being kicked out during her normal flow of the month.  Her body went through all the changes it thought were needed because of the "pregnancy."  Before the bad news, we had both thought it some sort of miracle, and we'd made plans for the marriage, wedding, what have you.  The emotional strain of the false pregnancy was too much for the relationship, and she got the idea that is she hadn't been with a guy, she wouldn't have had the issue.  So it was my fault that she had had the false pregnancy.

/so having the whole "I'm going to be a father" rug pulled from under me wasn't supposed to bother me?
//it was supposed to be just fun and games, then she pulls "it's all your fault" from the ashes of the experience
///working on getting current gf pregnant
 
2013-09-01 03:31:51 PM  

Trance354: working on getting current gf pregnant


Well that makes perfect sense.
 
2013-09-01 03:39:07 PM  

Saul T. Balzac: phrawgh: Make them mandatory. Covers all the bases.

Absolutely.  Mandatory testing before any name gets filled in the Parent #2 box.  And the results of the paternity test must be disclosed BEFORE anyone acknowledges paternity.


If paternity testing becomes mandatory, will a guy get little postcard in the mail just like for jury duty? Can he claim he didn't get the postcard? Or will some men start collecting postcards, ala "one from each of the 50 states?"
 
2013-09-01 03:39:21 PM  

fiddlehead: lack of warmth:

Um, if she is willing to fake the first test then she will fake the next ones too.  It wouldn't be hard to 'schedule appointments' with a doctor during his work schedule.  He comes home and she tells him lies about everything going well.

But how will she fake the other ones? Did she buy multiple tests on CL just in case? How will she dupe him if he buys another type of test himself? And if he is really concerned, then he should take time off work to go to the appointment. If he insists but she refuses then that's a huge warning flag. Hell, he could even call the dr and confirm the supposed appointment.


Forget it, he's rolling.

You have to realize that MRAs are right: they're hopeless and helpless and can't do anything for themselves or figure anything out on their own without some form of subsidy, oversight, and support from society. And women? It's like they're straight out of Disney movies - if they're not helpless waifs in need of rescue, then they're conniving and evil beyond comprehension. There is no middle ground. Anywhere. Ever hear of the UN's agenda 21? You might not think it's related, but  that's exactly what they want you to think. David Cameron, Barack Obama, Li Keqiang...all of them, they're all in on it. As were their predecessors. Why? Because fark nice guys, that's why. Women want a man to mistreat them and dominate them and generally make their lives harder. They do! Otherwise why would they consistently give nice guys like me the cold shoulder? I don't do drugs, hit women, waste money, screw around. But women never look twice at me because I'm too nice. Is that fair? Is that right? Women are crazy and evil, period. Never mind how we're making them "look." What can oppressed MRAs do in the face of such reckless hate?

/You'll never convince anyone of anything. May as well tell them what they want to hear.
 
2013-09-01 03:42:47 PM  

robohobo: Admiral_Halsey: I think it goes something like this:  Oops, birth control failed.  They quit using birth control for obvious reasons.  Girl actually gets pregnant.

That's why there needs to be a BC pill/shot for men.


I've heard of these things called "condoms"....
 
2013-09-01 03:52:08 PM  

OgreMagi: the_cnidarian: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Translation: If the husband is offered a paternity test when the wife is present, he will firmly refuse to avoid conflict.

Reality: if the man has the chance to confirm the child is his without conflict, he will take it.

In many (some?) states, if you do not object at the time the birth certificate is made, you are the father regardless of any paternity test in the future.  The test should be required by law before the birth certificate is issued.

 
2013-09-01 03:54:58 PM  

milkyshirt: As a woman, I find the idea of trapping a man to be bad and stupid. Why the fark do you want to marry someone if you have to trick them into it? That's definitely going to be a sad and shiatty marriage.

Quit making women look crazy and evil.


THIS.

I would rather be single than be with someone meh. I consider part of feminism being self-sufficient. My bf knows I don't need him to make my life work, I just really really want him.

I also don't get the "bf/gf is just a source of regular nookie" take on relationships thing. Sounds like a feck buddy to me. But if that's your view and it all seems too much trouble then maybe it is better if you do stay single. For everyone.
 
2013-09-01 04:01:00 PM  

WordyGrrl: Saul T. Balzac: phrawgh: Make them mandatory. Covers all the bases.

Absolutely.  Mandatory testing before any name gets filled in the Parent #2 box.  And the results of the paternity test must be disclosed BEFORE anyone acknowledges paternity.

If paternity testing becomes mandatory, will a guy get little postcard in the mail just like for jury duty? Can he claim he didn't get the postcard? Or will some men start collecting postcards, ala "one from each of the 50 states?"


The dude would have to submit his DNA as part of the paternity testing.  The hospital can inform the guy of the results (e.g., within a couple days of the kid being born).
 
2013-09-01 04:08:04 PM  
My wife is due in 6 weeks, should I start collecting positive sticks?
 
2013-09-01 04:09:17 PM  
Though sometimes I wonder...if I were pregnant, would it make me a bad person for wanting to make a quick buck by selling my positive pregnancy tests?
 
2013-09-01 04:12:34 PM  

PillsHere: Sometimes I read these threads and am shocked as to how many people's lives are like stories from trashy daytime talk shows.  I guess I know these people exist, but it almost seems comically implausible that they do.  In short, if you find that you are frequently surrounded by people of this nature and you do not like it.  Perhaps you should remove yourself from the situation by either moving or finding new friends/lovers.  You are not a victim if things like this keep happening to you, you are a participant.  None of this is normal or epidemic.  If you think it is, you need to re-evaluate your life.


Agree with this. I have friends who can never find nice blokes and are now generally suspicious of men.

I'm tell them there are lots of great men around, they're just not the men these girls go for; the idiots don't even appear on my radar. As soon as someone second guesses what I say and does not take it at face value, I pretty much know we won't get along.

/Except for all the times I'm kidding.
//Nearly put rear instead of radar but no one is appearing on either right now.
 
2013-09-01 04:15:05 PM  
If your "girlfriend" has to resort to such deception in order to manipulate you into marriage, then your girlfriend is trash, and so are you!

Make sure you take over a good double-wide, so you'll have room for your thirty kids!

i651.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-01 04:46:26 PM  
Come on, guys.  How is this much more different than the time you poked holes in the condom before having sex with the hot rich girl way out of your league?
 
2013-09-01 05:04:55 PM  
Nothin' a freshly dug hole in the desert can't fix.
 
2013-09-01 05:06:35 PM  

robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.


that would never happen because that would let 25% of the men off the hook
 
2013-09-01 05:21:39 PM  
I think we should have mandatory maternity tests as well. How does a woman know she didn't get tricked into delivering her husband's girlfriend's baby?
 
2013-09-01 05:22:54 PM  

Esroc: .Anthracite: I already saw this posted all over Facebook. So we were second to Reddit and now we are second to Facebook??

/Whats the world coming to?

Fark has been the last place news gets posted to for quite awhile now. I usually just come here for the discussion after reading the news elsewhere and it usually takes hours before the story pops up here.


I do the same.   Reddit has a lot more information and stories but I hate the way it is formated.  I find fark a lot neater and more enjoyable to read the comments.
 
2013-09-01 05:54:33 PM  

robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.


Change that to 'required'.

They're cheap and non-invasive. If we're going to put some dude on the hook financially for 18 to 22 years, shouldn't we be sure he's the father?

robohobo: Too many women tricking their poor husbands into raising someone else's bastard.


The number I keep hearing is 20%.

accelerus: this is why I'm 31 years old, employed, own my own home and car, and am 100% *SINGLE*


I'm fixed, how you doin'?

WordyGrrl: If paternity testing becomes mandatory, will a guy get little postcard in the mail just like for jury duty? Can he claim he didn't get the postcard? Or will some men start collecting postcards, ala "one from each of the 50 states?"


There are not too many guys who are going to want to collect all the cards.

There will be a lot of guys who will consider it a status symbol not to have any 'You are the father' cards.
 
2013-09-01 06:13:14 PM  

not_an_indigo: I had my tubes tied, no kids because I don't want them. So no chance to trap a guy.

I like to think that's not the reason I'm single.


I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf


So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.
 
2013-09-01 06:14:55 PM  
^unless you're a dude and you want The Snip.**

**The Snip will be the album name of my nine inch nails tribute band.
 
2013-09-01 06:16:28 PM  

megarian: I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf


So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.


I heard that for years. Don't give up.

I fought for it for a long, long time before I finally got fixed. And now that I am, it is the most glorious and amazing thing ever.
 
2013-09-01 06:19:13 PM  

megarian: I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.


My brother tried to get his vas about 5 years ago at the age of 28 after having 2 kids with his wife, and the doctor shooed him away too. "You're young yet, you may want more kids." They still just have two kids. They're still married. Now he's 33, maybe now they'll listen. Or they'll get surprised, which I'm half-expecting.

Bad news: yeah, it happens. "Good" news: they're not out to get you.
 
2013-09-01 06:19:39 PM  

QueenMamaBee: robohobo: Admiral_Halsey: I think it goes something like this:  Oops, birth control failed.  They quit using birth control for obvious reasons.  Girl actually gets pregnant.

That's why there needs to be a BC pill/shot for men.

I've heard of these things called "condoms"....


Then why dont use use female condoms?

Sure..you get to get laid and it feels great bc ure vagina isnt wrapped in plastic.

Main benefit to sex in a long term monogamous relationship: after std testing, no need for sensation-killing condoms.
 
2013-09-01 06:19:42 PM  

heili skrimsli: megarian: I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf


So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.

I heard that for years. Don't give up.

I fought for it for a long, long time before I finally got fixed. And now that I am, it is the most glorious and amazing thing ever.


I can't farking wait.

Just scared that by the time I find someone who will, I'll be knocked up by some catastrophic BC pill fail (not sure how that happens, though) or my insurance will say "lol no kthnxbye."
 
2013-09-01 06:20:55 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: megarian: I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.

My brother tried to get his vas about 5 years ago at the age of 28 after having 2 kids with his wife, and the doctor shooed him away too. "You're young yet, you may want more kids." They still just have two kids. They're still married. Now he's 33, maybe now they'll listen. Or they'll get surprised, which I'm half-expecting.

Bad news: yeah, it happens. "Good" news: they're not out to get you.


That makes me feel better, but not good news. Every one who wants to be fixed should get it. That would be great news :)
 
2013-09-01 06:23:41 PM  

megarian: heili skrimsli: megarian: I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf


So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.

I heard that for years. Don't give up.

I fought for it for a long, long time before I finally got fixed. And now that I am, it is the most glorious and amazing thing ever.

I can't farking wait.

Just scared that by the time I find someone who will, I'll be knocked up by some catastrophic BC pill fail (not sure how that happens, though) or my insurance will say "lol no kthnxbye."


Little known fact: many antibiotics make bc pills ineffective.
 
2013-09-01 06:32:31 PM  

megarian: not_an_indigo: I had my tubes tied, no kids because I don't want them. So no chance to trap a guy.

I like to think that's not the reason I'm single.

I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf

So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.


A lifestyle choice should not be overruled by a doctor.  There is no medical reason to deny you this procedure, which would be the only valid reason.  It's none of their farking business.

Your only other option is to hook up with a guy who's been snipped.
 
2013-09-01 06:41:35 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: megarian: I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.

My brother tried to get his vas about 5 years ago at the age of 28 after having 2 kids with his wife, and the doctor shooed him away too. "You're young yet, you may want more kids." They still just have two kids. They're still married. Now he's 33, maybe now they'll listen. Or they'll get surprised, which I'm half-expecting.

Bad news: yeah, it happens. "Good" news: they're not out to get you.


My boyfriend got his at 26. Best. Thing. Ever.
 
2013-09-01 06:49:04 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: My brother tried to get his vas about 5 years ago at the age of 28 after having 2 kids with his wife, and the doctor shooed him away too. "You're young yet, you may want more kids." They still just have two kids. They're still married. Now he's 33, maybe now they'll listen. Or they'll get surprised, which I'm half-expecting.
Bad news: yeah, it happens. "Good" news: they're not out to get you.


My SIL tried to get fixed after their first kid, and my brother also tried to get a vasectomy. He was in the military and so had military care. They refused to sterilize either one of them. Well, he was overseas for quite a while, and she went off the pill (it messed with her.)

You guessed it--she got pregnant when he came home on leave. It was 7 years after their first child, and she was pissed. In fact, my brother said that she was not just pissed, she was right out of her mind angry. But she had the baby and he's a nice total wise-ass, smart 20-year old now.

I hope he never finds that story out.
 
2013-09-01 07:00:59 PM  

megarian: I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.


I had an 18 year old girlfriend who wanted a hysterectomy because of severe pain during sex.* But her case of  dyspareunia was thanks to endometriosis; it was never going to get better and it was never going away.  And thanks to her "family of origin" issues (i.e. a hyper controlling mother and a father who lobotomized himself whilst welding on a gas tank) she never under circumstances wanted kids. In fact every time she got drunk, she spent her time fighting with anyone around her telling them they'd be terrible parents. Needless to say at the age of 18 no doctor would give her the procedure.  Too much danger she might change her mind later and sue them to hell.

*The pain was so severe she hated intercourse that lasted more than a few minutes. Once during sex she bit me so hard on the neck I had bruises for a while and honestly I thought she broke something and was surprised I wasn't bleeding.  She said "I just wanted it to feel the same for you as it does for me." Needless to say we never had sex again (how could you, in good conscience) and broke up soon after.


I'm a bastard in the traditional sense - no father on my birth certificate and the guy my mother insisted was him said no way.  Believe me I would have given my eye teeth for a paternity test just to rule the hapless object of my mother's affections out.  Instead she spend the following years building some kind of alternate reality in her mind about how he was the one and some day he'd some to her.  When I was 12 or so our house caught on fire due to aged electrical wiring.  According to my mother, I had set all the love letters and photos of Mr. Right on fire for reasons unknown.  My aunts actually read the the "love letters" and they were hate mail from Mr. Right denying paternity.   So I was a convenient excuse to cover up lack of evidence and continue the story.  :facepalm:   I love my mother.  Only a monster doesn't love his mother.  But I don't necessarily like her.


I eventually found my real dad 45 years later after submitting a DNA sample to a family ancestry site.  What would have happened if my mother had been forced to admit then she was banging two dudes and it was the party of the first part and not the second who had fathered me?  I like to think really great things, my real father's been nothing but kind to me.    At least I wouldn't have had a lifetime of people accusing me of presenting a fake birth certificate every time they saw mine with a blank spot for father's name.  LOL.
 
2013-09-01 07:14:32 PM  
Sigh.  The only thing I miss about reddit here on Fark is the ability to edit your posts.  Mea Culpa, re: my grammatical and spelling errors.
 
2013-09-01 07:17:31 PM  

technofiend: megarian: I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

I had an 18 year old girlfriend who wanted a hysterectomy because of severe pain during sex.* But her case of  dyspareunia was thanks to endometriosis; it was never going to get better and it was never going away.  And thanks to her "family of origin" issues (i.e. a hyper controlling mother and a father who lobotomized himself whilst welding on a gas tank) she never under circumstances wanted kids. In fact every time she got drunk, she spent her time fighting with anyone around her telling them they'd be terrible parents. Needless to say at the age of 18 no doctor would give her the procedure.  Too much danger she might change her mind later and sue them to hell.

*The pain was so severe she hated intercourse that lasted more than a few minutes. Once during sex she bit me so hard on the neck I had bruises for a while and honestly I thought she broke something and was surprised I wasn't bleeding.  She said "I just wanted it to feel the same for you as it does for me." Needless to say we never had sex again (how could you, in good conscience) and broke up soon after.


I'm a bastard in the traditional sense - no father on my birth certificate and the guy my mother insisted was him said no way.  Believe me I would have given my eye teeth for a paternity test just to rule the hapless object of my mother's affections out.  Instead she spend the following years building some kind of alternate reality in her mind about how he was the one and some day he'd some to her.  When I was 12 or so our house caught on fire due to aged electrical wiring.  According to my mother, I had set all the love letters and photos of Mr. Right on fire for reasons unknown.  My aunts actually read the the "love letters" and they were hate mail from Mr. Right denying paternity.   So I was a convenient excuse to cover up lack of evidence and continue the story.  :facepalm:   I love my mother.  Only a monster doesn't love his mother.  But I don't necessarily like her.


I eventually found my real dad 45 years later after submitting a DNA sample to a family ancestry site.  What would have happened if my mother had been forced to admit then she was banging two dudes and it was the party of the first part and not the second who had fathered me?  I like to think really great things, my real father's been nothing but kind to me.    At least I wouldn't have had a lifetime of people accusing me of presenting a fake birth certificate every time they saw mine with a blank spot for father's name.  LOL.


Insta-fav'd.
 
2013-09-01 07:26:15 PM  

OgreMagi: megarian: not_an_indigo: I had my tubes tied, no kids because I don't want them. So no chance to trap a guy.

I like to think that's not the reason I'm single.

I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf

So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.

A lifestyle choice should not be overruled by a doctor.  There is no medical reason to deny you this procedure, which would be the only valid reason.  It's none of their farking business.

Your only other option is to hook up with a guy who's been snipped.


See, the "hey baby, I've been snipped" is suspicious.

But I'm a total social 'tard so it's not really an issue.

Now where's my whisky and Dostoyevsky?
 
2013-09-01 07:34:28 PM  

megarian: Just scared that by the time I find someone who will, I'll be knocked up by some catastrophic BC pill fail (not sure how that happens, though) or my insurance will say "lol no kthnxbye."


Unless your plan was grandfathered (unlikely) or the ACA is repealed (also unlikely) birth control, including sterilization, has to be covered. Make sure you pick an in-network doctor and contact your insurance company first to ensure you're getting any pre-authorizations and that you're doing it at a covered facility. I got Essure done, and it has been fan-farking-tastic. My tubes are confirmed blocked, scars completely formed, and I had not one side effect and never even needed so much as an Advil.

For the consult, procedure and medicine I paid a total of 95$ in copays, prescriptions and parking. Best money I ever spent.

Good luck to you, and seriously, don't give up. Doctors have a tendency to discourage people from sterilizing themselves. The last one finally accepted it when I said 'Would you be asking how sure I was if I was in here telling you I was desperate to get pregnant?'
 
2013-09-01 07:39:30 PM  

megarian: Now where's my whisky and Dostoyevsky?


You have a sick sense of humor.  That's why I like you. And when reading Dostoyevsky, you drink vodak, not whisky.
 
2013-09-01 07:48:27 PM  

megarian: Insta-fav'd.


You're on my favorites already with the cryptic note "Bermuda."

megarian: Now where's my whisky and Dostoyevsky?


Added to favorites text.  Single malt all the way.
 
2013-09-01 07:56:56 PM  

technofiend: megarian: Insta-fav'd.

You're on my favorites already with the cryptic note "Bermuda."

megarian: Now where's my whisky and Dostoyevsky?

Added to favorites text.  Single malt all the way.


Cheers!

Your picture reminds me of a combination of Little Red Riding Hood + the wolfy guy from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll video.

I am frightened and amused... my favorite kind of "I am".
 
2013-09-01 08:11:05 PM  

The more you eat the more you fart: megarian: heili skrimsli: megarian: I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf


So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.

I heard that for years. Don't give up.

I fought for it for a long, long time before I finally got fixed. And now that I am, it is the most glorious and amazing thing ever.

I can't farking wait.

Just scared that by the time I find someone who will, I'll be knocked up by some catastrophic BC pill fail (not sure how that happens, though) or my insurance will say "lol no kthnxbye."

Little known fact: many antibiotics make bc pills ineffective.


No. Rifampin makes oral contraceptive pills (and tons of other drugs) ineffective. You can tell if you're on rifampin by the red tears/urine/etc and the fact that you're taking drugs for something like TB, leprosy, or really bad staph. The interaction of other antibiotics is purely based on anecdotal evidence that's been proven false multiple times, but they still get the pink sticker because lawyers don't care.
 
2013-09-01 08:23:18 PM  

May Cause Drowsiness: The more you eat the more you fart: megarian: heili skrimsli: megarian: I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf


So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.

I heard that for years. Don't give up.

I fought for it for a long, long time before I finally got fixed. And now that I am, it is the most glorious and amazing thing ever.

I can't farking wait.

Just scared that by the time I find someone who will, I'll be knocked up by some catastrophic BC pill fail (not sure how that happens, though) or my insurance will say "lol no kthnxbye."

Little known fact: many antibiotics make bc pills ineffective.

No. Rifampin makes oral contraceptive pills (and tons of other drugs) ineffective. You can tell if you're on rifampin by the red tears/urine/etc and the fact that you're taking drugs for something like TB, leprosy, or really bad staph. The interaction of other antibiotics is purely based on anecdotal evidence that's been proven false multiple times, but they still get the pink sticker because lawyers don't care.


Sometimes meningitis, too.

Yikes.
 
2013-09-01 08:50:10 PM  

megarian: Sometimes meningitis, too.

Yikes.


Most of the 'failure' of the birth control pill is down to the fact that people are really not that damn good at making sure it's taken as directed and they get sloppy. I was on the pill for a long time, and quit taking it because it was doing bad things to my blood pressure, and since I knew that I never ever wanted kids, I just went balls to the wall for getting sterilized.

OgreMagi: And when reading Dostoyevsky, you drink vodak


Delicious vodak. Although, I do like to make mine bubbly with some club soda. No flavoring though. Just bubbly club soda and vodak.

May Cause Drowsiness: The interaction of other antibiotics is purely based on anecdotal evidence that's been proven false multiple times, but they still get the pink sticker because lawyers don't care.


The lawyers care about whether they can win a wrongful life/wrongful birth suit against the pharmacist who didn't put the sticker on the package. It doesn't matter that a lot of the 'pregnant while on the pill' cases are actually misuse of the pill or women who have just farking stopped taking it so they can have their little 'oops' trap to spring.
 
2013-09-01 09:49:41 PM  

willfullyobscure: I'lltry to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:
I got a vasectomy.
I met a girlsoon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at thetime and I could practically HEAR her biologicalclock ticking. Regardless,she was a good lay, easy on theeyes, and reasonably good company.
I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that thecondom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.
We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but shebrought it up ocassionally. For me,this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that shewas planning very carefully.
Four monthsinto dating, I getthe "I'm pregnant" talk. She's goingon and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for thebaby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby inher and she thinks she's gonnahave a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.
At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pullthe reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't thinkbeyond their own uteri.
So I wait a coupleof days to "think about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she shouldhave an abortion. I know where this is goingand sure enough it goes there. She goes completely bat**** insane on me. There were theusual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.
Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messageson my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing hysterically.
It was time to drop thehammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who ...


I laughed, I cried, I pasted it to note book for when I need a pick me up. You are a god among men.
 
2013-09-01 10:45:49 PM  
My wife is pregnant, and I'm unemployed. I think I've just found the get-rich-quick scheme I need!
 
2013-09-01 11:14:48 PM  
Damn.  I think I used to be one of the "good girls" that wouldn't ever dream of pulling this shiat with the guy I'd been in a relationship with for almost a decade.

The only problem was, I found out sex with girls is so damn much better, that I went out and proposed to a chick instead.

Our babies are gonna be pretty cute though.

In conclusion: don't let those chicks you don't trust anyway find out how comparatively terrible you are at teh butsecks.

Or, you know, don't suck so hard at communication that the above would ever even happen to you.
 
2013-09-01 11:35:32 PM  

Tallow'nbits: Damn.  I think I used to be one of the "good girls" that wouldn't ever dream of pulling this shiat with the guy I'd been in a relationship with for almost a decade.

The only problem was, I found out sex with girls is so damn much better, that I went out and proposed to a chick instead.

Our babies are gonna be pretty cute though.

In conclusion: don't let those chicks you don't trust anyway find out how comparatively terrible you are at teh butsecks.

Or, you know, don't suck so hard at communication that the above would ever even happen to you.


I'm...I'm um...confused...I'm gonna need a diagram or graph or visual aid.
 
2013-09-02 01:05:00 AM  

megarian: not_an_indigo: I had my tubes tied, no kids because I don't want them. So no chance to trap a guy.

I like to think that's not the reason I'm single.

I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf


So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.


WTF indeed...I was 25.
 
2013-09-02 01:08:31 AM  
Someone has the solution..

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=289484501190715&set=a.2597261 7 0833215.1073741826.259689487503550&type=1&theater">https://www.facebo ok.com/photo.php?fbid=289484501190715&set=a.25972617 0833215.1073741826.259689487503550&type=1&theater
 
2013-09-02 01:22:22 AM  

not_an_indigo: megarian: not_an_indigo: I had my tubes tied, no kids because I don't want them. So no chance to trap a guy.

I like to think that's not the reason I'm single.

I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf


So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.

WTF indeed...I was 25.


Ditto.  I was 25 when I got my vasectomy.
 
2013-09-02 09:51:35 AM  

megarian: I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf


I am not an OB/Gyn, but during my residency in the mid-90s, I recall that there was a spectacular lawsuit at Detroit Medical Center, in which a young woman had allegedly consented to have a postpartum tubal ligation, since she'd had a bunch of kids already and didn't want any more.

Although there was a signed consent form in the medical record, the plaintiff asserted that the procedure was not adequately explained to her, and that she had never been told that the surgery would result in her becoming unable to have any more children. Being Detroit, it got turned into a racial genocide issue (white doctor, non-white patient, evil white doctor had knowingly, cruelly, and racist-ly robbed her of the basic human right to reproduce, etc.).  Nazis were invoked, as was the spectre of Michigan's old eugenic sterilization program of the early 20th century. The doctor and hospital paid a settlement that was allegedly a high seven or low eight figure sum.  Although this happened at DMC, this put a significant damper on the OB/Gyns performing tubal ligations throughout the metropolitan area.

Not being a party to the suit, this account is hearsay, and it is entirely possible that this is an urban legend. However, urban legends can affect people's behavior, and twenty years later this might be why you can't find a surgeon to perform a tubal ligation on you.
 
2013-09-02 09:54:55 AM  

not_an_indigo: megarian: not_an_indigo: I had my tubes tied, no kids because I don't want them. So no chance to trap a guy.

I like to think that's not the reason I'm single.

I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf


So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.

WTF indeed...I was 25.


I was just sayin that has not been my experience. A few of my guy friends are snipped. I've been trying to get my tubes tied and have been to several doctors. Five so far. None of them have been willing. But I'm sure I'll find one soon. I'm pretty determined :)
 
2013-09-02 10:28:40 AM  

megarian: not_an_indigo: megarian: not_an_indigo: I had my tubes tied, no kids because I don't want them. So no chance to trap a guy.

I like to think that's not the reason I'm single.

I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf


So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.

WTF indeed...I was 25.

I was just sayin that has not been my experience. A few of my guy friends are snipped. I've been trying to get my tubes tied and have been to several doctors. Five so far. None of them have been willing. But I'm sure I'll find one soon. I'm pretty determined :)


so, have any of the docs brought up issues with YOUR body reacting?  just asking because my mom had a complete hysterectomy after a grapefruit-sized tumor on one of her ovaries twisted her tube and sent her to the hospital with abdominal pain...

as a result, she ended up dealing with treatments, and menopause...  thankfully she's been officially in the clear for 15 years (16 this spring)

BUT, where i was going with this... it may be that your body might not be ready for that?

if the doc says "well you might want kids later" feel free to slap him, but if he says that it would lead to internal imbalances, then it might be a procedure to look for as our options grow...  what you asked about then might not be what they do now...
 
2013-09-02 10:59:28 AM  
heili skrimsli: megarian: Just scared that by the time I find someone who will, I'll be knocked up by some catastrophic BC pill fail (not sure how that happens, though) or my insurance will say "lol no kthnxbye."

Unless your plan was grandfathered (unlikely) or the ACA is repealed (also unlikely) birth control, including sterilization, has to be covered. Make sure you pick an in-network doctor and contact your insurance company first to ensure you're getting any pre-authorizations and that you're doing it at a covered facility. I got Essure done, and it has been fan-farking-tastic. My tubes are confirmed blocked, scars completely formed, and I had not one side effect and never even needed so much as an Advil.



My sister got Essure done after giving birth to her one and only child, and she loves it, too.  But like a lot of women, she had a very, very hard time finding a doctor who would sterilize her.  I think it took a better part of a year to find one (she lives in a small town and found finally found a doctor a couple counties away).
 
2013-09-02 12:06:15 PM  

robohobo: Esroc: robohobo: Paternity tests should be offered at every birth. Seriously.

 If offered then most husbands/wives will refuse it as to not risk pissing off their significant other. And they're pretty easy to get if you really do want one.

Then offer them quietly. Perhaps write it into insurance requirements. Too many women tricking their poor husbands into raising someone else's bastard.


It's an extremely rare phenomenon. I doubt it happens even 1% of the time.

If you don't trust your wife, well then you either married the wrong person or you have issues.
 
2013-09-02 12:38:28 PM  

cynicalminion: megarian: not_an_indigo: megarian: not_an_indigo: I had my tubes tied, no kids because I don't want them. So no chance to trap a guy.

I like to think that's not the reason I'm single.

I'm "too young" to get my tubes tied...said FIVE doctors so far.

Wtf


So basically no one under 30 can get their tubes tied. Awesome.

WTF indeed...I was 25.

I was just sayin that has not been my experience. A few of my guy friends are snipped. I've been trying to get my tubes tied and have been to several doctors. Five so far. None of them have been willing. But I'm sure I'll find one soon. I'm pretty determined :)

so, have any of the docs brought up issues with YOUR body reacting?  just asking because my mom had a complete hysterectomy after a grapefruit-sized tumor on one of her ovaries twisted her tube and sent her to the hospital with abdominal pain...

as a result, she ended up dealing with treatments, and menopause...  thankfully she's been officially in the clear for 15 years (16 this spring)

BUT, where i was going with this... it may be that your body might not be ready for that?

if the doc says "well you might want kids later" feel free to slap him, but if he says that it would lead to internal imbalances, then it might be a procedure to look for as our options grow...  what you asked about then might not be what they do now...


A tubal is not the same as a hysterectomy...
 
2013-09-02 12:42:37 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: ITT: It's okay, even encouraged, for guys to lie about their birth control usage. The instant a woman does it, however...

/poor, poor oppressed mens...


What in the name of holy fark are you bleating about?

How the hell are men "encouraged" to lie about birth control usage?  And why the fark would we want to?
 
2013-09-02 12:49:49 PM  
A tubal is not the same as a hysterectomy...

i know this, i was just saying that it might not just be age as a factor.  there might be other factors. that's why i said, if it's just "you might want kids later", smack the twunt and tell him to do it anyway.  but if there's some other concern, make them tell you what it is, and get it checked out.   "reproductive health" isn't just a vetmed course...  so ask questions if it's gone past the "you're too young"-punchtothejunk-"you were trying to say yes?"
 
2013-09-02 01:00:14 PM  

Saul T. Balzac: My sister got Essure done after giving birth to her one and only child, and she loves it, too. But like a lot of women, she had a very, very hard time finding a doctor who would sterilize her. I think it took a better part of a year to find one (she lives in a small town and found finally found a doctor a couple counties away).


Essure was approved by the FDA in 2002 for female sterilization. I finally had the procedure done earlier this year. I danced in the doctor's office when I signed the consent. When I got there on procedure day and had to give the final verbal approval, a kid in the next room had been running around, screaming, yelling, and looking in other patient's rooms for 90 minutes before my doctor came in to get the thumbs up. He asked if I was sure. I pointed in the direction of that screaming kid and said 'I absolutely, positively, pope-is-catholic, bears-shiat-in-the-woods am certain I will never want one of those.'

The day I watched the monitor during the hysterosalpingogram (contrast fluoroscope to confirm blockage) and saw those coils and none of the dye going past the scars, with the radiologist and my doctor both confirming they are blocked, I said 'This is the best movie I have ever seen. Best movie I will ever see.' I really don't think anything can top it. I started trying to get fixed when I was 18. I turned 35 a couple weeks after the procedure.

Trapper439: What in the name of holy fark are you bleating about?

How the hell are men "encouraged" to lie about birth control usage? And why the fark would we want to?


Men have extremely few options as it is, and it's not like they can lie and say 'Of course I'm taking my pill on time every day.' The idea that men routinely like about using birth control is ludicrous.
 
2013-09-02 01:02:43 PM  

Trapper439: The My Little Pony Killer: ITT: It's okay, even encouraged, for guys to lie about their birth control usage. The instant a woman does it, however...

/poor, poor oppressed mens...

What in the name of holy fark are you bleating about?

How the hell are men "encouraged" to lie about birth control usage?  And why the fark would we want to?


i believe it's in reference to the guys who don't tell women they've been neutered until the women tearfully confess the birth control didn't work, and "what are we going to do"

at which point they say "ask whoever got you pregnant, because i've been snipped."

but there are still people asking the internet if the baby THEY ARE CARRYING IN THEIR BODY is theirs...
 
2013-09-02 01:28:47 PM  

cynicalminion: i believe it's in reference to the guys who don't tell women they've been neutered until the women tearfully confess the birth control didn't work, and "what are we going to do"


How exactly is it the guy who's the douchebag if she cheated and got pregnant and wants to spring the babytrap but can't because the guy she's trying to trap is sterile?
 
2013-09-02 01:43:49 PM  

heili skrimsli: cynicalminion: i believe it's in reference to the guys who don't tell women they've been neutered until the women tearfully confess the birth control didn't work, and "what are we going to do"

How exactly is it the guy who's the douchebag if she cheated and got pregnant and wants to spring the babytrap but can't because the guy she's trying to trap is sterile?


i THINK it's that the guy's supposed to automatically TELL her he's been neutered, instead of waiting for her to spring the babytrap and then c*ntp*nting her.  if he tells her first, she can find other ways to lure him in.  if he tells her after, she's gotta go back and try and find the guy who DID knock her up.  and that's just too much effort, dammit.  men should be more considerate.
 
2013-09-02 02:58:41 PM  

cynicalminion: heili skrimsli: cynicalminion: i believe it's in reference to the guys who don't tell women they've been neutered until the women tearfully confess the birth control didn't work, and "what are we going to do"

How exactly is it the guy who's the douchebag if she cheated and got pregnant and wants to spring the babytrap but can't because the guy she's trying to trap is sterile?

i THINK it's that the guy's supposed to automatically TELL her he's been neutered, instead of waiting for her to spring the babytrap and then c*ntp*nting her.  if he tells her first, she can find other ways to lure him in.  if he tells her after, she's gotta go back and try and find the guy who DID knock her up.  and that's just too much effort, dammit.  men should be more considerate.


Maybe she shouldn't cheat and get knocked up by some other guy.

And I sure hope she wasn't lying about being on the pill too.
 
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