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(Sun News Network)   Jesus had two dads and he turned out just fine. Spiffy: On a church billboard   (sunnewsnetwork.ca) divider line 162
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8379 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2013 at 2:44 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-31 02:45:55 PM
Yeah I saw one the other day: "God is the CEO of the Universe"

Yeah, it really said that Not king. Not emperor. CEO.
 
2013-08-31 02:46:17 PM
HERO.
 
2013-08-31 02:47:33 PM
Well, up until one of his two dads watched him die over hours and hours of torture, and didn't lift a finger to help him, despite the fact that he has total control over everything.

But other than that, the family turned out JUST FINE.  Well, up to that point.
 
2013-08-31 02:48:33 PM
I think that church wins 1 free internet for that... no, you know what, I think we should splurge and give them TF for a year... anyone know the Pastor's Fark handle?
 
2013-08-31 02:49:22 PM
No he didn't. He was executed for sedition.

That's farking terrible.


/sign is still awesome
//Canadian fundies are cool people
///they're still fundies tho
 
2013-08-31 02:49:30 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
/hot like subby's mom
 
2013-08-31 02:51:01 PM
Really ? I thought he was the child of a rapist and a whore...
 
2013-08-31 02:51:13 PM
why does having two dads automatically have to mean they're gay?
 
2013-08-31 02:53:49 PM
Take it easy everybody, stop trying to read your own personal agenda into this.  The sign is in reference to Jesus, the Mexican groundskeeper that the church uses to look after the lawn.  His mom and biological father divorced when he was 7, and his mother eventually remarried when he was 11.  His stepfather took him under his wings and treated Jesus as though he was his own son.
 
2013-08-31 02:55:34 PM
Ishkur:
//Canadian fundies are cool people
///they're still fundies tho


Anglicans aren't fundamentalists.
 
2013-08-31 02:55:43 PM

HindiDiscoMonster: anyone know the Pastor's Fark handle?


Yeah, it's Barjockey and he's a cock.
 
2013-08-31 02:56:40 PM

Nadie_AZ: Yeah I saw one the other day: "God is the CEO of the Universe"

Yeah, it really said that Not king. Not emperor. CEO.


Wouldn't that make Jesus the COO and the Holy Spirit the CTO?
 
2013-08-31 03:00:36 PM

Ishkur: No he didn't. He was executed for sedition.

That's farking terrible.


/sign is still awesome
//Canadian fundies are cool people
///they're still fundies tho


What is your definition of "fundie"?
 
2013-08-31 03:02:33 PM
Except that he didn't have two dads; he had one mother and one father and one voice in his head/guy who 'gave him advice'.

The whole comparison is utterly stupid because it is simply _not the same_ as gay marriage. Two guys raising a kid is not like one guy and one disembodied voice raising a child.

This of course all based on the assumption that any of this actually happened.
 
2013-08-31 03:04:17 PM
W

Fank: Except that he didn't have two dads; he had one mother and one father and one voice in his head/guy who 'gave him advice'.

The whole comparison is utterly stupid because it is simply _not the same_ as gay marriage. Two guys raising a kid is not like one guy and one disembodied voice raising a child.

This of course all based on the assumption that any of this actually happened.


That, and still people make the arguement that there's no attack on Christian morals -- what the hell do you call this, then? There's a rot starting from the inside of these Anglican churches...though I barely consider Anglicans Christian, anyway.
 
2013-08-31 03:07:19 PM
God the Father and Joseph equals gay marriage?  Theology FAIL.

What a shock that it's an Anglican church. "What's our doctrinal position on this issue? Hang on, I'll check the public opinion polls and let you know."
 
2013-08-31 03:11:19 PM

epoch_destroi: WFank: Except that he didn't have two dads; he had one mother and one father and one voice in his head/guy who 'gave him advice'.

The whole comparison is utterly stupid because it is simply _not the same_ as gay marriage. Two guys raising a kid is not like one guy and one disembodied voice raising a child.

This of course all based on the assumption that any of this actually happened.

That, and still people make the arguement that there's no attack on Christian morals -- what the hell do you call this, then? There's a rot starting from the inside of these Anglican churches...though I barely consider Anglicans Christian, anyway.


That's ok.  I don't consider narrow minded reactionary assholes like you to be fit human beings.  So we're even.
 
2013-08-31 03:14:04 PM

stonelotus: why does having two dads automatically have to mean they're gay?


^this^

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Men_and_a_Little_Lady
 
2013-08-31 03:16:34 PM

Son of Thunder: God the Father and Joseph equals gay marriage?  Theology FAIL.

What a shock that it's an Anglican church. "What's our doctrinal position on this issue? Hang on, I'll check the public opinion polls and let you know."


Being an Angelican church is what made it -make- sense, ne. We're a church built on a Guy wanting to bone more wives
 
2013-08-31 03:16:35 PM
Csb: saw that sign last night after leaving my girlfriends place.
That church has always been thought provoking without bible thumping in their messages, but never anything so liberal.
 
2013-08-31 03:17:12 PM
I made the following comment on a Facebook comment thread about Tebow/ where's your messiah now,
"It was God's plan, just like Sandy Hook".

People slammed me for it. At least I capitalized God. I tried to be respectful.
 
2013-08-31 03:20:34 PM

epoch_destroi: That, and still people make the arguement that there's no attack on Christian morals -- what the hell do you call this, then?


I won't deny there's an attack.  A counterattack, but an attack.

Son of Thunder: God the Father and Joseph equals gay marriage?


Where the hell do you get that?

Son of Thunder: Theology FAIL.


Interpretation FAIL.
 
2013-08-31 03:21:03 PM

epoch_destroi: WFank: Except that he didn't have two dads; he had one mother and one father and one voice in his head/guy who 'gave him advice'.

The whole comparison is utterly stupid because it is simply _not the same_ as gay marriage. Two guys raising a kid is not like one guy and one disembodied voice raising a child.

This of course all based on the assumption that any of this actually happened.

That, and still people make the arguement that there's no attack on Christian morals -- what the hell do you call this, then? There's a rot starting from the inside of these Anglican churches...though I barely consider Anglicans Christian, anyway.


Asshole "Christians" like you are more of an attack on Christian morals than real Christians who try to follow Jesus' message of unconditional love, acceptance, inclusion, humility, repentance, forgiveness, and redemption.

/not Christian
//atheist, Discordian for the lulz
///I have appointed you as a Discordian pope.
////and now you are excommunicated
//HAIL ERIS!
 
2013-08-31 03:22:47 PM

epoch_destroi: WFank: Except that he didn't have two dads; he had one mother and one father and one voice in his head/guy who 'gave him advice'.

The whole comparison is utterly stupid because it is simply _not the same_ as gay marriage. Two guys raising a kid is not like one guy and one disembodied voice raising a child.

This of course all based on the assumption that any of this actually happened.

That, and still people make the arguement that there's no attack on Christian morals -- what the hell do you call this, then? There's a rot starting from the inside of these Anglican churches...though I barely consider Anglicans Christian, anyway.


fark you christian morals, fark them all right up your ass. Nice True Scotsman, by the way.
 
2013-08-31 03:24:31 PM
Pretty sure getting knocked up and then convincing your extremely gullible neighbors that it was the work of God rather than your boyfriend doesn't mean you get to count God as one of your kid's fathers.
 
2013-08-31 03:25:12 PM

ten foiled hats: Son of Thunder: God the Father and Joseph equals gay marriage?

Where the hell do you get that?

Son of Thunder: Theology FAIL.

Interpretation FAIL.


Really.  So "Jesus had two dads" is in no way a reference to the gay marriage argument?  Good thinking, I'm sure it was really a plea for Obama to stay out of Syria, and nothing at all about gay marriage.
 
2013-08-31 03:26:04 PM

Oznog: Well, up until one of his two dads watched him die over hours and hours of torture, and didn't lift a finger to help him, despite the fact that he has total control over everything.

But other than that, the family turned out JUST FINE.  Well, up to that point.


yeah, but if you believe in the holy trinity, jesus is God, and the Holy Sprit. so basically he asked why had he abandoned himself. God the father crucified himself. also Jesus is his own father. and the father of whatever the fark the holy sprit is supposed to be. space ghost I guess. all of this should put the bible thumpers in west Virginia at ease.
 
2013-08-31 03:26:07 PM
It must be difficult to be a Christian.  Not only do you have to truly believe in ghosts and zombies, you have to worship them.
 
2013-08-31 03:28:05 PM

epoch_destroi: WFank: Except that he didn't have two dads; he had one mother and one father and one voice in his head/guy who 'gave him advice'.

The whole comparison is utterly stupid because it is simply _not the same_ as gay marriage. Two guys raising a kid is not like one guy and one disembodied voice raising a child.

This of course all based on the assumption that any of this actually happened.

That, and still people make the arguement that there's no attack on Christian morals -- what the hell do you call this, then? There's a rot starting from the inside of these Anglican churches...though I barely consider Anglicans Christian, anyway.


Christians have morals?
 
2013-08-31 03:32:18 PM

Oznog: Well, up until one of his two dads watched him die over hours and hours of torture, and didn't lift a finger to help him, despite the fact that he has total control over everything.

But other than that, the family turned out JUST FINE.  Well, up to that point.


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-31 03:37:37 PM

ReverendJimBobHammer: epoch_destroi: WFank: Except that he didn't have two dads; he had one mother and one father and one voice in his head/guy who 'gave him advice'.

The whole comparison is utterly stupid because it is simply _not the same_ as gay marriage. Two guys raising a kid is not like one guy and one disembodied voice raising a child.

This of course all based on the assumption that any of this actually happened.

That, and still people make the arguement that there's no attack on Christian morals -- what the hell do you call this, then? There's a rot starting from the inside of these Anglican churches...though I barely consider Anglicans Christian, anyway.

Christians have morals?


Only when it is convenient.

My own close family has a member that is forever talking about jesus, all the good christ has done for him and his family, how everyone needs to get back to the basics of morality and get back in church and worship god, ect.  Real bible thumper.

He gets pretty pissed when I ask where Jesus was when he was cheating on his ex-wife with his current wife.
 
2013-08-31 03:39:59 PM
I predict a homosexual-atheist circle-jerk.
 
2013-08-31 03:47:13 PM

Son of Thunder: ten foiled hats: Son of Thunder: God the Father and Joseph equals gay marriage?

Where the hell do you get that?

Son of Thunder: Theology FAIL.

Interpretation FAIL.

Really.  So "Jesus had two dads" is in no way a reference to the gay marriage argument?  Good thinking, I'm sure it was really a plea for Obama to stay out of Syria, and nothing at all about gay marriage.



Were you born without a sense of humor, or did you have it surgically removed?

Of course it is a reference to gay couples (although not necessarily to marriage equality), but it is just as obviously NOT suggesting that the Anglicans think JHVH and Joseph were sexually involved.   It is a piece ofparaprosdokian rhetoric, in which the second part of the sentence causes the reader to re-think or re-evaluate the meaning of the first part of the sentence.  It's a classic literary device.

Christian theology teaches that God and Joseph were both Jesus' father.  Therefore, according to Christian theology, at least one person who had two fathers did pretty well for himself.

The implication is NOT that those two fathers were romantically or sexually involved with each other.  Rather, the implication is that people who are involved in same sex relationships are welcome at this particular church.  It is a humorous attempt to let people know that this particular church does not discriminate against gays.
 
2013-08-31 03:52:04 PM

epoch_destroi: WFank: Except that he didn't have two dads; he had one mother and one father and one voice in his head/guy who 'gave him advice'.

The whole comparison is utterly stupid because it is simply _not the same_ as gay marriage. Two guys raising a kid is not like one guy and one disembodied voice raising a child.

This of course all based on the assumption that any of this actually happened.

That, and still people make the arguement that there's no attack on Christian morals -- what the hell do you call this, then? There's a rot starting from the inside of these Anglican churches...though I barely consider Anglicans Christian, anyway.


i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-31 04:01:19 PM

Ess_Aytch: Ishkur:
//Canadian fundies are cool people
///they're still fundies tho

Anglicans aren't fundamentalists.


Anglicans are pretty well over the map. A number of Anglican churches in Canada have broken Communion over the past several decades due to a lack of conservatism among the larger Anglican Communion. Notably, several in Vancouver tries to separate (and build ties with South American Anglican Churches) when the diocese started accepting gays, until they learned the churches were actually property of the Anglican Church of Canada and lost their lawsuit to keep them.
 
2013-08-31 04:05:18 PM

ReverendJimBobHammer: epoch_destroi: WFank: Except that he didn't have two dads; he had one mother and one father and one voice in his head/guy who 'gave him advice'.

The whole comparison is utterly stupid because it is simply _not the same_ as gay marriage. Two guys raising a kid is not like one guy and one disembodied voice raising a child.

This of course all based on the assumption that any of this actually happened.

That, and still people make the arguement that there's no attack on Christian morals -- what the hell do you call this, then? There's a rot starting from the inside of these Anglican churches...though I barely consider Anglicans Christian, anyway.

Christians have morals?


...wow....do I really have to answer that? Yes, we have morals. Maybe they're different from yours, but we have them, and they are under attack constantly. Do YOU have morals?
 
2013-08-31 04:06:09 PM

Fank: epoch_destroi: WFank: Except that he didn't have two dads; he had one mother and one father and one voice in his head/guy who 'gave him advice'.

The whole comparison is utterly stupid because it is simply _not the same_ as gay marriage. Two guys raising a kid is not like one guy and one disembodied voice raising a child.

This of course all based on the assumption that any of this actually happened.

That, and still people make the arguement that there's no attack on Christian morals -- what the hell do you call this, then? There's a rot starting from the inside of these Anglican churches...though I barely consider Anglicans Christian, anyway.

fark you christian morals, fark them all right up your ass. Nice True Scotsman, by the way.


I'm not sure how my arguement is a a True Scotsman fallacy, but ooooooohkay, have fun with your butt-farking.
 
2013-08-31 04:07:15 PM

albuquerquehalsey: Oznog: Well, up until one of his two dads watched him die over hours and hours of torture, and didn't lift a finger to help him, despite the fact that he has total control over everything.

But other than that, the family turned out JUST FINE.  Well, up to that point.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x638]


^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS
 
2013-08-31 04:07:42 PM

epoch_destroi: we have them, and they are under attack constantly.


That's because they're terrible.
 
2013-08-31 04:08:11 PM

OgreMagi: epoch


What, EXACTLY, do you consider a fit human being then? I'm not saying Anglicans aren't human, just that their philosophies dilute the concept of Christianity when considered as part of it.
 
2013-08-31 04:08:12 PM
The FB responses are about what you'd expect.
 
2013-08-31 04:09:39 PM

bigbobowski: Oznog: Well, up until one of his two dads watched him die over hours and hours of torture, and didn't lift a finger to help him, despite the fact that he has total control over everything.

But other than that, the family turned out JUST FINE.  Well, up to that point.

yeah, but if you believe in the holy trinity, jesus is God, and the Holy Sprit. so basically he asked why had he abandoned himself. God the father crucified himself. also Jesus is his own father. and the father of whatever the fark the holy sprit is supposed to be. space ghost I guess. all of this should put the bible thumpers in west Virginia at ease.


He did what he couldn't ask of Isaac, sacrifice his own son. It is a compelling story arc, though I stopped believing in divinity long ago. Wish it were true: would be nice to have an omniscient paternal figure watching over us all.
 
2013-08-31 04:09:48 PM

twat_waffle: epoch


I'm not sure what I said to upset you so much, and I have noooo farking idea what a sidcordian is -- closest I can come is an accordian. Have fun with that, I guess? And I don't believe in popes. Popes are a symbol of another sect that broke off from true Christianity long ago.
 
2013-08-31 04:10:50 PM

HindiDiscoMonster: I think that church wins 1 free internet for that... no, you know what, I think we should splurge and give them TF for a year... anyone know the Pastor's Fark handle?


When did the sign go up... someone at that church might well be a Farker...

Lundah (2013-08-29 10:04:21 AM)
"You know, Jesus had 2 dads, and he turned out okay."
(link goes to thread)
 
2013-08-31 04:11:02 PM

dywed88: Ess_Aytch: Ishkur:
//Canadian fundies are cool people
///they're still fundies tho

Anglicans aren't fundamentalists.

Anglicans are pretty well over the map. A number of Anglican churches in Canada have broken Communion over the past several decades due to a lack of conservatism among the larger Anglican Communion. Notably, several in Vancouver tries to separate (and build ties with South American Anglican Churches) when the diocese started accepting gays, until they learned the churches were actually property of the Anglican Church of Canada and lost their lawsuit to keep them.


And that's the problem. Christianity needs consistency.
 
2013-08-31 04:11:52 PM

caddisfly: bigbobowski: Oznog: Well, up until one of his two dads watched him die over hours and hours of torture, and didn't lift a finger to help him, despite the fact that he has total control over everything.

But other than that, the family turned out JUST FINE.  Well, up to that point.

yeah, but if you believe in the holy trinity, jesus is God, and the Holy Sprit. so basically he asked why had he abandoned himself. God the father crucified himself. also Jesus is his own father. and the father of whatever the fark the holy sprit is supposed to be. space ghost I guess. all of this should put the bible thumpers in west Virginia at ease.

He did what he couldn't ask of Isaac, sacrifice his own son. It is a compelling story arc, though I stopped believing in divinity long ago. Wish it were true: would be nice to have an omniscient paternal figure watching over us all.


Please don't give up on believe --  God hasn't given up on you. Still loves you.
 
2013-08-31 04:14:06 PM
Fank: Nice True Scotsman, by the way.

Jesus did not have two fathers. Divinity is like, the whole point to Christianity.

If a man does not accept the divinity of Jesus, then it doesn't matter if he's married in a church, or has a vicar conduct his funeral -- it is more than a fair call to say he is not a true Christian.

Unitarians, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons -- these groups do not accept basic Christian beliefs in the first place.

Now, the BBC has a good page that covers Christianity without breaking down too deeply into separate denominational issues.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/beliefs/basics_1 . shtml

Your invocation of the No True Scotsman fallacy is not valid here.
 
2013-08-31 04:17:25 PM

letrole: Fank: Nice True Scotsman, by the way.

Jesus did not have two fathers. Divinity is like, the whole point to Christianity.

If a man does not accept the divinity of Jesus, then it doesn't matter if he's married in a church, or has a vicar conduct his funeral -- it is more than a fair call to say he is not a true Christian.

Unitarians, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons -- these groups do not accept basic Christian beliefs in the first place.

Now, the BBC has a good page that covers Christianity without breaking down too deeply into separate denominational issues.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/beliefs/basics_1 . shtml

Your invocation of the No True Scotsman fallacy is not valid here.


Thank you very much. You expressed what I really couldn't.
 
2013-08-31 04:18:21 PM

epoch_destroi: Fank: epoch_destroi: WFank: Except that he didn't have two dads; he had one mother and one father and one voice in his head/guy who 'gave him advice'.

The whole comparison is utterly stupid because it is simply _not the same_ as gay marriage. Two guys raising a kid is not like one guy and one disembodied voice raising a child.

This of course all based on the assumption that any of this actually happened.

That, and still people make the arguement that there's no attack on Christian morals -- what the hell do you call this, then? There's a rot starting from the inside of these Anglican churches...though I barely consider Anglicans Christian, anyway.

fark you christian morals, fark them all right up your ass. Nice True Scotsman, by the way.

I'm not sure how my arguement is a a True Scotsman fallacy, but ooooooohkay, have fun with your butt-farking.


Surprise Butsecks!
 
2013-08-31 04:18:31 PM
That's awesome. I've always wanted that phrase on a t-shirt but I figured I'd probably just end up getting beaten-up by one of those 'moral' Christians if I wore it.

/I've already been gay-bashed once - with fists and a knife - so I don't really want to invite any further violence into my life.
 
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