If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Sun News Network)   Research shows couples can tune out spouse's voice   (sunnewsnetwork.ca) divider line 105
    More: Hero, pairs  
•       •       •

5328 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Aug 2013 at 2:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



105 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-30 02:10:21 PM  
Yes, Dear.
 
2013-08-30 02:10:47 PM  
What?
 
2013-08-30 02:11:35 PM  
Research shows that sky is blue!

It is actually hard to hear my wife.  She talks in a southern accent and her voice is deeper and softer than the average woman.  Plus I am a white guy from the north and she is a black girl from the south, so there are accent issues where I have no clue.

Our running joke is that if I am so bad right now at hearing her from across a room imagine when we're in our 70's...
 
2013-08-30 02:11:40 PM  
I sometimes wonder how much they spend on this type of research. I am also sure that they could have saved thousands, if not millions by simply going to the local bar and asking anyone there
 
2013-08-30 02:11:50 PM  
Of course i was listening
 
2013-08-30 02:12:52 PM  
The needed to research this? It's been known for thousands of years. Next thing you know they'll be researching water to see if it's actually wet.
 
2013-08-30 02:13:59 PM  
Confirmed.
 
2013-08-30 02:14:23 PM  
I'm showing this to my wife and telling her it means it's likely to be less of a hassle if she just takes out the garbage herself.
 
2013-08-30 02:15:55 PM  
youdontsay.jpg
 
2013-08-30 02:16:14 PM  
That has got to be some of the worst writing I have come across in a very long time.
 
2013-08-30 02:16:39 PM  

Super Chronic: I'm showing this to my wife and telling her it means it's likely to be less of a hassle if she just takes out the garbage herself.


Good luck... we're counting on you.
 
2013-08-30 02:17:13 PM  
I don't tune her out... I just know she's about to say something stupid.
 
2013-08-30 02:17:44 PM  
Once again, your wife is right.
 
2013-08-30 02:18:59 PM  
Those whose traits include the inabaility to filter out a spouses voice often kill eachother prior to breeding.
So, the headline would make sense.

Thanks Darwin.
 
2013-08-30 02:19:17 PM  

Super Chronic: I'm showing this to my wife and telling her it means it's likely to be less of a hassle if she just takes out the garbage herself.


Be sure and let us know how that works out for ya.
 
2013-08-30 02:19:43 PM  
What?
 
2013-08-30 02:20:56 PM  
It is an acquired skill. One i excel at,

My favorite is when she is in mid sentence and I am actually listening only to have to to ask her what she just said.

She loves that
 
2013-08-30 02:21:41 PM  
Obvious tag is on the back 9 while your sister's fuming at the airport.
 
2013-08-30 02:21:51 PM  
 
2013-08-30 02:22:09 PM  
I know that's right!  The bf (of 15 years) will ask me something, then when I reply he says, 'What?'...

/really?
//...
 
2013-08-30 02:22:14 PM  
My husband likes to start a conversation from another room but when I reply to what he's asked, he says "What? What? I can't hear you! Speak louder!". Then I speak louder and he says "Why are you shouting at me?"  If you can't hear someone in another room, why start a conversation with them?
 
2013-08-30 02:22:26 PM  
I heard that the perfect marriage was a deaf husband and a blind wife.
 
2013-08-30 02:22:57 PM  

Super Chronic: I'm showing this to my wife and telling her it means it's likely to be less of a hassle if she just takes out the garbage herself.


Oh, good luck with that.

If the words don't move you, the flying shoe will.
 
2013-08-30 02:24:18 PM  

Super Chronic: I'm showing this to my wife and telling her it means it's likely to be less of a hassle if she just takes out the garbage herself.


And Super Chronic was never heard from again.
 
2013-08-30 02:24:32 PM  
I'm sorry, Subby. I wasn't listening.
 
2013-08-30 02:26:50 PM  

FunkOut: My husband likes to start a conversation from another room but when I reply to what he's asked, he says "What? What? I can't hear you! Speak louder!". Then I speak louder and he says "Why are you shouting at me?"  If you can't hear someone in another room, why start a conversation with them?


bahaha!  Yes!
 
2013-08-30 02:27:29 PM  
If your spouse insists upon speaking at you from another room despite you telling them repeatedly not to, just start moaning in pleasure.  They'll come around.
 
2013-08-30 02:28:29 PM  
Thanks research.  For round 2 of your clinical study, could you resolve the following paradox:

Premise: Wifey lays out critical detailed instructions for subject to do blah blah blah
Subject:  Acknowledges critical detailed instructions to do blah blah blah
Variable: Wifey refuses to accept subject's acknowledgement and demands "okay, tell me what I just said..."

Goal: Devise an appropriate response for subject.
 
2013-08-30 02:28:37 PM  
My wife sends me articles like this all the time to justify her selective deafness.  I'm beginning to wonder if she's commissioning the studies herself
 
2013-08-30 02:28:53 PM  
I find a Ball Gag is perfect for tuning her out.
 
2013-08-30 02:29:25 PM  

Smidge204: Thought No. 1:




Thought No. 2:

http://www.technologyreview.com/view/427116/how-to-build-a-speech-ja mm ing-gun/

=Smidge=


i30.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-30 02:29:35 PM  
Make your own damn sammich.
 
2013-08-30 02:29:59 PM  

FunkOut: My husband likes to start a conversation from another room but when I reply to what he's asked, he says "What? What? I can't hear you! Speak louder!". Then I speak louder and he says "Why are you shouting at me?"  If you can't hear someone in another room, why start a conversation with them?


My fiancee does this all the time, im in another room, the AC is on and theres 2 box fans going, i can hear that youre talking to me, but i cant hear what youre saying. No, im not getting up so you dont have to shout, you started this conversation, you get up!
 
2013-08-30 02:33:09 PM  
Is that a report by Ric Romero?
 
2013-08-30 02:34:11 PM  
Every time that Geico commercial with the "Not-so-wise" owls come on my wife cackles and says that is me.

Every.  Single.  Time.

assets.creativity-online.com

/Who?
 
2013-08-30 02:34:29 PM  
Clearly, subby must be single since the Hero tag was used when it should have been the Obvious tag.
 
2013-08-30 02:34:47 PM  
Who?

t3.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-30 02:37:21 PM  

hammettman: Thanks research.  For round 2 of your clinical study, could you resolve the following paradox:

Premise: Wifey lays out critical detailed instructions for subject to do blah blah blah
Subject:  Acknowledges critical detailed instructions to do blah blah blah
Variable: Wifey refuses to accept subject's acknowledgement and demands "okay, tell me what I just said..."

Goal: Devise an appropriate response for subject.


The appropriate response is to repeat what she just said.  The only reason this has to happen is because men like to say they 'don't remember'

Additionally:  Nagging only happens when women have to keep repeating themselves...get it right the first time and this won't happen...
 
2013-08-30 02:38:34 PM  
"Hey honey, can you please take out the trash?"
...
"Hey honey, can you please take care of the kids?"
...
"Hey honey, can you please sign these divorce papers?"
...
 
2013-08-30 02:41:00 PM  
Obvious tag on holiday?

When my aunt turned 75 she stopped being able to hear by uncle almost completely.  He solved that problem by getting a little bell that he rang whenever he wanted her.  Farking Genius!!
 
2013-08-30 02:42:08 PM  

Skyd1v: Every time that Geico commercial with the "Not-so-wise" owls come on my wife cackles and says that is me.

Every.  Single.  Time.

[assets.creativity-online.com image 400x237]

/Who?


What cracks me up about that commercial is the sly look on the woman's face when she says, 'well, did you know that some owls aren't that wise?'
 
2013-08-30 02:43:20 PM  

Daffydil: hammettman: Thanks research.  For round 2 of your clinical study, could you resolve the following paradox:

Premise: Wifey lays out critical detailed instructions for subject to do blah blah blah
Subject:  Acknowledges critical detailed instructions to do blah blah blah
Variable: Wifey refuses to accept subject's acknowledgement and demands "okay, tell me what I just said..."

Goal: Devise an appropriate response for subject.

The appropriate response is to repeat what she just said.  The only reason this has to happen is because men like to say they 'don't remember'

Additionally:  Nagging only happens when women have to keep repeating themselves...get it right the first time and this won't happen...


Sure, all fine and well, and maybe it works that way theoretically in academia, but let's focus on the real world.
 
2013-08-30 02:43:57 PM  
Maybe if she would ever say something I wanted to hear.
 
2013-08-30 02:44:03 PM  
Uh huh... yeah... no kidding... uh huh...
 
2013-08-30 02:45:35 PM  
"Husbands were a bit more apt to forget what their wife said than vice-versa."

That's because women tend to say a lot more than is necessary so men just learn to ignore 90% of it. The trick isn't how to tune her out, it's how to tune back in when she finally gets around to making her point.
 
2013-08-30 02:46:03 PM  
In my Human Growth and Development class in college my instructor stated that men lose the ability to hear higher pitched frequencies (like their wives voices) as they age. She asked us if anyone knew why.

I raised my hand and said: "Intelligent design: it's the last bit of peace we get before we die.".

The 32 women in the class were not amused. The 3 men were.
 
2013-08-30 02:46:09 PM  
My wife is chatty in the mornings. I am not, particularly if she speaks sentences more complex than "coffee?" before coffee. I clearly am functionally deaf until Mug Number 2.

By the same token, she will pass out on the couch at any point during the late evening news. I do not fall asleep on the couch, although I have addressed her sleeping form as if she was awake.
 
2013-08-30 02:46:53 PM  

Nofun: Obvious tag on holiday?

When my aunt turned 75 she stopped being able to hear by uncle almost completely.  He solved that problem by getting a little bell that he rang whenever he wanted her.  Farking Genius!!


I read that as Oblivious
 
2013-08-30 02:47:36 PM  

ReapTheChaos: "Husbands were a bit more apt to forget what their wife said than vice-versa."

That's because women tend to say a lot more than is necessary so men just learn to ignore 90% of it. The trick isn't how to tune her out, it's how to tune back in when she finally gets around to making her point.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
 
2013-08-30 02:50:25 PM  

ReapTheChaos: "Husbands were a bit more apt to forget what their wife said than vice-versa."

That's because women tend to say a lot more than is necessary so men just learn to ignore 90% of it. The trick isn't how to tune her out, it's how to tune back in when she finally gets around to making her point.


THIS! THIS!
 
2013-08-30 02:51:32 PM  
Oh how I loath the evenings where my wife hasn't had any human contact besides the kids and just wants to talk.  It turns into an hour of me staring blankly, waiting for her to finish, saying things like 'yes, dear'  'really?' 'that sucks' 'aww' when I think they are appropriate all while tuning her out and trying to not be frustrated my free time between putting kids to bed and putting myself to bed is ticking away.
 
2013-08-30 02:52:15 PM  
Wife-like typing detected.
 
2013-08-30 02:53:38 PM  
I did figure out how to get past him not getting things done

I ask him once
I tell him twice
I hire someone else to do it the third time

/also a second cup of coffee person
//he wants to speak right away...
 
2013-08-30 02:53:59 PM  

Petey4335: Oh how I loath the evenings where my wife hasn't had any human contact besides the kids and just wants to talk.  It turns into an hour of me staring blankly, waiting for her to finish, saying things like 'yes, dear'  'really?' 'that sucks' 'aww' when I think they are appropriate all while tuning her out and trying to not be frustrated my free time between putting kids to bed and putting myself to bed is ticking away.


There's this stuff, it's called alcohol.  Enjoy in moderation.
 
2013-08-30 02:58:21 PM  

ReapTheChaos: "Husbands were a bit more apt to forget what their wife said than vice-versa."

That's because women tend to say a lot more than is necessary so men just learn to ignore 90% of it. The trick isn't how to tune her out, it's how to tune back in when she finally gets around to making her point.


I woke up.

Then I had a piece of toast.

Then I brushed my teeth...

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-08-30 02:59:58 PM  
When someone yaks at you long enough you learn to tune them out.  I had tuning my dad out to a science.  I could listen to music on my headphone without hearing a word he said, but still simulate conversations with a properly timed "yeah", and "uh-huh" based on body language and the pitch of whatever sound did get through the music.

/He sure loves to lecture, he should have gone into teaching.
 
2013-08-30 03:01:47 PM  

FunkOut: My husband likes to start a conversation from another room but when I reply to what he's asked, he says "What? What? I can't hear you! Speak louder!". Then I speak louder and he says "Why are you shouting at me?"  If you can't hear someone in another room, why start a conversation with them?


My wife will start a conversation with me while she does the dishes, running the water with her back to me, and can't understand why i won't answer her questions just because I know she won't hear me.
 
2013-08-30 03:02:44 PM  

Cyno01: im in another room, the AC is on and theres 2 box fans going


You're doing it wrong.
 
2013-08-30 03:12:38 PM  
My wife's mumbling? No one can hear it. If I really gave a damn about my wife's opinion on anything I'd ask.
 
2013-08-30 03:24:48 PM  

Daffydil: Additionally:  Nagging only happens when women have to keep repeating themselves...get it right the first time and this won't happen...


There is a problem with this - we don't get it "right" because you are asking us to do it wrong. Women seem to think that just because they want something done in a certain way, does not mean that their partner wants to do it the same way. Thus it is easier to feign inability and let you do it, as it easier to not put forth the effort and be nagged, than it is to put forth the effort and be nagged.
 
2013-08-30 03:28:03 PM  

Daffydil: Additionally:  Nagging only happens when women have to keep repeating themselves...get it right the first time and this won't happen...


We don't work for you. Don't like the way we do it? Do it yourself.
 
2013-08-30 03:28:21 PM  

LeroyBourne: Petey4335: Oh how I loath the evenings where my wife hasn't had any human contact besides the kids and just wants to talk.  It turns into an hour of me staring blankly, waiting for her to finish, saying things like 'yes, dear'  'really?' 'that sucks' 'aww' when I think they are appropriate all while tuning her out and trying to not be frustrated my free time between putting kids to bed and putting myself to bed is ticking away.

There's this stuff, it's called alcohol.  Enjoy in moderation.


It works, but I've had to increase the dosage over the years.
 
2013-08-30 03:29:35 PM  

Blink: Cyno01: im in another room, the AC is on and theres 2 box fans going

You're doing it wrong.


Not central air, wall unit in living room, apt layout not conductive to airflow, its either that or duct tape some dryer tubing to half the AC output, which i have considered doing.

i.imgur.com

AC is in blue, box fans are in green moving air into the bedroom. Weve only had to have it on a few days at a time a handful of times this summer, but this past week has been bad...
 
2013-08-30 03:53:30 PM  

cybrwzrd: There is a problem with this - we don't get it "right" because you are asking us to do it wrong. Women seem to think that just because they want something done in a certain way, does not mean that their partner wants to do it the same way. Thus it is easier to feign inability and let you do it, as it easier to not put forth the effort and be nagged, than it is to put forth the effort and be nagged.


Crewmannumber6: We don't work for you. Don't like the way we do it? Do it yourself.


I'm actually referring to when I remodeled 'his' bathroom for him and asked him to install the sliding doors to the tub...oh and the time he wanted me to redo his guest room and I asked him to install the fan and mini blinds...oh and the time he said he 'needed' to have a door installed on the deck...oh and the time...never mind...
 
2013-08-30 04:03:20 PM  

Cyno01: Blink: Cyno01: im in another room, the AC is on and theres 2 box fans going

You're doing it wrong.

Not central air, wall unit in living room, apt layout not conductive to airflow, its either that or duct tape some dryer tubing to half the AC output, which i have considered doing.

[i.imgur.com image 615x472]

AC is in blue, box fans are in green moving air into the bedroom. Weve only had to have it on a few days at a time a handful of times this summer, but this past week has been bad...


If you're gonna provide a handy diagram for my "visits", I'd appreciate a little more detail. You didn't put the sofa or the damn coffee table I wack my knees on, and did you move the end table with the nick-nacks away from the door of the bedroom? Gets me every time!
 
2013-08-30 04:09:38 PM  
Tillerman35's secret to marital bliss [NOTE: Keep this to yourself, and don't let ANYBODY in on the secret, especially your wife- and SUPER especially not MY wife]:

Whenever your wife talks to you, simply repeat the last three to five words of whatever she says to you.  99% of the time, this will make her believe you weren't ignoring her (almost) completely.  About every five times you do this, change your intonation so that it appears you're asking a question.  Other times, if you find a verb in there somewhere, emphasize it to show you're agreeing with her.

Example:
Her: My sister and I went down today.  She bought [... going into fugue state ... thinking about buying a new set of metal files ... wonder if there's anything on the TiVo that I haven't watched yet ... oops! sounds like she's about to wrap up...] and it only cost ten dollars!
Me: Only cost ten dollars?
Her: Yeah - I KNOW!!! Can you believe it? [... external sensors set to minimal gain ... is there beer in the fridge? ... maybe I should make a run to the store ... and- rewind/review] Jennifer said it was cute.
Me: It WAS cute.
Her: Awww. Thanks, Honey!  I'm so glad you're not like all those who hate talking to their wives.
 
2013-08-30 04:16:44 PM  

Daffydil: cybrwzrd: There is a problem with this - we don't get it "right" because you are asking us to do it wrong. Women seem to think that just because they want something done in a certain way, does not mean that their partner wants to do it the same way. Thus it is easier to feign inability and let you do it, as it easier to not put forth the effort and be nagged, than it is to put forth the effort and be nagged.

Crewmannumber6: We don't work for you. Don't like the way we do it? Do it yourself.

I'm actually referring to when I remodeled 'his' bathroom for him and asked him to install the sliding doors to the tub...oh and the time he wanted me to redo his guest room and I asked him to install the fan and mini blinds...oh and the time he said he 'needed' to have a door installed on the deck...oh and the time...never mind...


Next time hire out the work he was supposed to do and then give him the bill. Of course, that only works if he gives a damn about the finances.
 
2013-08-30 04:18:47 PM  
My wife (like her mother) rattles on incessantly about, well, everything. I tune her out, though on some level I manage to grasp the basic topic of her nattering. When she accuses me of not listening, I say "Oh I heard you, you were talking about "x". This of course pisses her off because she was sure I wasn't listening.
 
2013-08-30 04:20:34 PM  

FunkOut: My husband likes to start a conversation from another room but when I reply to what he's asked, he says "What? What? I can't hear you! Speak louder!". Then I speak louder and he says "Why are you shouting at me?"  If you can't hear someone in another room, why start a conversation with them?


This happens when we are sitting right next to each other in the car. He asks something, I answer, he says "What?" and I respond louder... he gets offended.

So should I be offended that he asked a question and wasn't paying attention, or should I be offended that he's really deaf, but angry about it and trying to make it my fault?
 
2013-08-30 04:21:35 PM  

fiddlehead: Next time hire out the work he was supposed to do and then give him the bill. Of course, that only works if he gives a damn about the finances.


yes, that's what I had said I do now...on the third try I hire someone and he pays for it...this is highly motivating for him...

/you weren't paying attention the first time
//I think it's just guys in general who don't listen and for no reason in particular
///cept maybe ADHD
////...:)
 
2013-08-30 04:23:42 PM  

tillerman35: Her: Awww. Thanks, Honey!  I'm so glad you're not like all those who hate talking to their wives.


Ha!  Dammit!  I'm passing this to the bf...oh wait...
 
2013-08-30 04:24:56 PM  
You never asked me to do that
 
2013-08-30 04:29:19 PM  

Petey4335: Oh how I loath the evenings where my wife hasn't had any human contact besides the kids and just wants to talk.  It turns into an hour of me staring blankly, waiting for her to finish, saying things like 'yes, dear'  'really?' 'that sucks' 'aww' when I think they are appropriate all while tuning her out and trying to not be frustrated my free time between putting kids to bed and putting myself to bed is ticking away.


Oh god. This.
So much this.
She plays with iPad while kids are watching TV before bath and bed time. If I try to engage her in conversation (to head off the above) I usually get curt, short answers. Then, when I finally am lying in bed with my eyes closed, she wants to start talking.
 
2013-08-30 04:33:27 PM  

Daffydil: fiddlehead: Next time hire out the work he was supposed to do and then give him the bill. Of course, that only works if he gives a damn about the finances.

yes, that's what I had said I do now...on the third try I hire someone and he pays for it...this is highly motivating for him...

/you weren't paying attention the first time


Ha! "Research shows forum posters can tune out other posters' comments."
 
2013-08-30 04:43:32 PM  
aboutcolonblank.com

/oblig
 
2013-08-30 04:44:13 PM  
happy single dude
I will call you on yer bullshiat if you talk out yer arse.
Enjoy a life of acquiescence and sex as a weapon
 
2013-08-30 04:55:49 PM  
Also, why in the hell are there so many guys in this thread that married someone that they can't stand talking to? Jeez, that was a horrible decision.
 
2013-08-30 05:13:27 PM  
I can't remember the citation to save my life, but wasn't there an article (or a book, maybe?) that discussed how men start losing their hearing in their thirties (way earlier than previously thought)?  As I recall, the higher frequencies--similar in pitch to women's voices--go first, so many men seriously cannot hear their wives unless there's zero background noise, she speaks clearly and loudly, etc.
 
2013-08-30 05:19:40 PM  

Petey4335: Oh how I loath the evenings where my wife hasn't had any human contact besides the kids and just wants to talk.  It turns into an hour of me staring blankly, waiting for her to finish, saying things like 'yes, dear'  'really?' 'that sucks' 'aww' when I think they are appropriate all while tuning her out and trying to not be frustrated my free time between putting kids to bed and putting myself to bed is ticking away.


Does your wife get any free time?  Or just you?

/serious question
//I'm here to help your marriage
///I speak from experience
 
2013-08-30 05:23:15 PM  

Cyno01: Blink: Cyno01: im in another room, the AC is on and theres 2 box fans going

You're doing it wrong.

Not central air, wall unit in living room, apt layout not conductive to airflow, its either that or duct tape some dryer tubing to half the AC output, which i have considered doing.

[i.imgur.com image 615x472]

AC is in blue, box fans are in green moving air into the bedroom. Weve only had to have it on a few days at a time a handful of times this summer, but this past week has been bad...


Can you put another window unit in the bedroom window?  You'll sleep more comfortably.
 
2013-08-30 05:23:38 PM  
www.popularmechanics.com
Not needed.  This one's been confirmed since Cro-Magnon times.
 
2013-08-30 05:36:18 PM  
My wife thinks that me going "mmmm hmmm" when she talks is me listening. I've actually learned how to invert the soundwave of her voice, phasing it and cancelling it out. I am a human Bose Noise Canceller.
 
2013-08-30 05:40:26 PM  
In addition to being able to phase out my wife's voice, I have a rotating 30 second recording buffer that is activated by her voice. It allows me to, verbatim, recite anything she said in the last 30 seconds. Strangely, I can't do this when I actually need to listen.
 
2013-08-30 05:47:25 PM  

Saul T. Balzac: Cyno01: Blink: Cyno01: im in another room, the AC is on and theres 2 box fans going

You're doing it wrong.

Not central air, wall unit in living room, apt layout not conductive to airflow, its either that or duct tape some dryer tubing to half the AC output, which i have considered doing.

[i.imgur.com image 615x472]

AC is in blue, box fans are in green moving air into the bedroom. Weve only had to have it on a few days at a time a handful of times this summer, but this past week has been bad...

Can you put another window unit in the bedroom window?  You'll sleep more comfortably.


Narrow side opening windows.
 
2013-08-30 05:54:52 PM  

Daffydil: hammettman: Thanks research.  For round 2 of your clinical study, could you resolve the following paradox:

Premise: Wifey lays out critical detailed instructions for subject to do blah blah blah
Subject:  Acknowledges critical detailed instructions to do blah blah blah
Variable: Wifey refuses to accept subject's acknowledgement and demands "okay, tell me what I just said..."

Goal: Devise an appropriate response for subject.

The appropriate response is to repeat what she just said.  The only reason this has to happen is because men like to say they 'don't remember'

Additionally:  Nagging only happens when women have to keep repeating themselves...get it right the first time and this won't happen...


Ha. I have the ability to repeat what she said word for word and an hour later have no conscious memory of the conversation.

My wife calls it "play back mode".
 
2013-08-30 06:06:25 PM  
You HAVE to tune out the gash's voice - else you cut off her head and stuff it in a camera bag. Seriously - what is a man supposed to do?... actually listen to everything that spews out the axe-wound's mouth?????

Let's be realistic you self-entitled, vacuous trolls - either edit yourselves (impossible), expect 99% of us to tune you out, or get ready for gurgling on your blood as we slowly saw your useless heads off of your bloated, bleeding bodies.

... cause shutting the fark up would be an unrealistic option....
 
2013-08-30 06:09:48 PM  

Saul T. Balzac: Does your wife get any free time?


Good point, but be aware...too much free time means she's cheating on you.

/Know from experience
//Signed divorce papers last week
 
2013-08-30 06:17:39 PM  

tillerman35: Tillerman35's secret to marital bliss [NOTE: Keep this to yourself, and don't let ANYBODY in on the secret, especially your wife- and SUPER especially not MY wife].


Ha! That's what I do when I'm talking to people I don't like very much. It amuses the Mrs Crazy, but she's really good at spotting it. I accidentally slipped into it once when I had a bad day and she was telling me about about work gossip. She stopped in the middle of a sentence and said "You're doing your ignoring trick." I got out "I'm doing my ignor..." before my brain caught up.
 
2013-08-30 06:33:32 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: tillerman35: Tillerman35's secret to marital bliss [NOTE: Keep this to yourself, and don't let ANYBODY in on the secret, especially your wife- and SUPER especially not MY wife].

Ha! That's what I do when I'm talking to people I don't like very much. It amuses the Mrs Crazy, but she's really good at spotting it. I accidentally slipped into it once when I had a bad day and she was telling me about about work gossip. She stopped in the middle of a sentence and said "You're doing your ignoring trick." I got out "I'm doing my ignor..." before my brain caught up.


Yeah, my husband asked me "Now can you remember what I said before the last sentence?" and I said "Maybe...maybe not...were you paying attention to see if I was paying attention?" He just narrowed his eyes until they almost disappeared.
 
2013-08-30 06:39:31 PM  
My old lady and I have been together almost 30 years. What the fark would we even have to say to each other?
 
2013-08-30 06:40:02 PM  

FunkOut: Yeah, my husband asked me "Now can you remember what I said before the last sentence?" and I said "Maybe...maybe not...were you paying attention to see if I was paying attention?" He just narrowed his eyes until they almost disappeared.


I may have to steal that if I ever end up getting caught ignoring her again. I haven't slept on the couch lately.
 
2013-08-30 06:45:19 PM  

Daffydil: FunkOut: My husband likes to start a conversation from another room but when I reply to what he's asked, he says "What? What? I can't hear you! Speak louder!". Then I speak louder and he says "Why are you shouting at me?"  If you can't hear someone in another room, why start a conversation with them?

bahaha!  Yes!


Lol women.

You deliberately use too soft a voice just to cause trouble, AND you complain about the trouble you caused?

Women be crazy.
 
2013-08-30 06:53:53 PM  

fiddlehead: Also, why in the hell are there so many guys in this thread that married someone that they can't stand talking to? Jeez, that was a horrible decision.


Might beat being single?
/shrugs
 
2013-08-30 06:55:22 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: What?


Leaving satisfied.
 
2013-08-30 07:05:57 PM  

Smackledorfer: Daffydil: FunkOut: My husband likes to start a conversation from another room but when I reply to what he's asked, he says "What? What? I can't hear you! Speak louder!". Then I speak louder and he says "Why are you shouting at me?"  If you can't hear someone in another room, why start a conversation with them?

bahaha!  Yes!

Lol women.

You deliberately use too soft a voice just to cause trouble, AND you complain about the trouble you caused?

Women be crazy.


To be quite honest, my husband uses about 6 Q-Tips a day and hauls out massive quantities of orange gooey earwax. His hearing was great for 3 weeks after he once bought an ear cleaning kit from the pharmacy that bubbles out excess wax. But alas, it built right back up again. Serves me right for marrying an ogre.

Also, he refuses to go into artisan candlemaking.
 
TWX
2013-08-30 07:06:03 PM  
Research shows couples can tune out spouse's voice

Of course. I learned that one from Bill Cosby, who had apparently learned it from his father...

/don't overuse the trick though
//they really don't like that
///really don't like that...
 
2013-08-30 07:17:26 PM  
I used to think it was just me, before my divorce.  Still live in the same, generally quiet neighborhood in which the volume of voices (whether shouting or muttering) appears to have a direct correlation with the duration of relationships among the neighboring couples.
 
2013-08-30 07:58:46 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com

Sometimes this is all I hear.
Then I say "Ack! ACK ACK!!"
She will get the joke, and say "Pleeeease can you get me another beer?"
 
2013-08-30 09:03:05 PM  
My dad died a few years before I got married.

CSB - About a week before I got married I was in a quiet bar, only one other guy there, old fart, nice guy.  I asked if he was married, he says yes.  I ask if ever got divorced, he said no.  I explained how I was getting married in a few days, my father had been dead for a while, and what fatherly advice he would give his son regarding getting married and staying that way.  He paused and thought... and said "Always nod your head and say Yes Dear".

It works


/ married to a red head.
// who is puerto rican.
/// have the bruises to prove it
 
2013-08-30 09:05:32 PM  
I'm well known for my ability to tune people out.  People make fun of me for it and get mad about it, but I don't care.  I don't control it, at least not consciously.

If I'm working or involved in something, the outside world barely exists.  People talking is just another element of ambient noise.  At the office, I am often completely absorbed in my work.  Co-workers can and do have all kinds of sordid conversations right next to me, and I say this with all honestly, none of it registers.  In a physiological sense, I'm sure I hear it, but it does not stick, it does not parse.  At the same time, it's clear my brain is listening on some level, because the moment someone says my name or says a word that sounds like my name, I'm immediately snatched from my own little world and I start paying attention.

Some folks get mad at me.  They claim they had a discussion with so and so right in front of me about issue XYZ, so I should have been aware.  I completely disagree.  If you need or want me to know something, you better talk to me directly and make sure you have my attention.  Otherwise, you better assume your words drifted into one ear and immediately exited the other.
 
2013-08-30 10:31:09 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-08-31 03:09:09 AM  

Cyno01: Blink: Cyno01: im in another room, the AC is on and theres 2 box fans going

You're doing it wrong.

Not central air, wall unit in living room, apt layout not conductive to airflow, its either that or duct tape some dryer tubing to half the AC output, which i have considered doing.



AC is in blue, box fans are in green moving air into the bedroom. Weve only had to have it on a few days at a time a handful of times this summer, but this past week has been bad...


Clearly, you are not in the south.

God I miss living up north sometimes.
 
2013-08-31 03:11:30 AM  
You people are horrible!  I never tune out my wife's voice.

/ that I know of.
// she does accuse me of being told things that I wasnt told a lot though....
 
2013-08-31 04:15:39 AM  

kindms: It is an acquired skill. One i excel at,

My favorite is when she is in mid sentence and I am actually listening only to have to to ask her what she just said.

She loves that


Somehow growing up I developed "Huh?" as a reflex to anything being said to me, whether or not I heard it. Pissed my dad off to no end back then. Now it infuriates my wife.
 
2013-08-31 11:03:29 PM  

Cyno01: Saul T. Balzac: Cyno01: Blink: Cyno01: im in another room, the AC is on and theres 2 box fans going

You're doing it wrong.

Not central air, wall unit in living room, apt layout not conductive to airflow, its either that or duct tape some dryer tubing to half the AC output, which i have considered doing.

[i.imgur.com image 615x472]

AC is in blue, box fans are in green moving air into the bedroom. Weve only had to have it on a few days at a time a handful of times this summer, but this past week has been bad...

Can you put another window unit in the bedroom window?  You'll sleep more comfortably.

Narrow side opening windows.


Try one of these....
www.homedepot.com
http://www.homedepot.com/p/LG-10-000-BTU-Portable-Air-Conditioner-wi th -Dehumidifier-Function-with-Remote-Control-in-White-72-Pints-Day-LP101 3WNR/203656277?N=12l6#.UiKteX_zOV4
 
Displayed 105 of 105 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report