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(Jezebel)   Guys, grab a cup of coffee and read what the perfect Craigslist personal ad looks like. Rule #1: Use lots of "quotation" marks. Rule #2: Have an FAQ section   (jezebel.com ) divider line
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18814 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Aug 2013 at 9:56 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-08-30 10:58:50 AM  
9 votes:

R.A.Danny: Who is he harming? If you wrote out an ad and really worked on attracting the perfect mate you would most likely look like a douchebag too. Don't spend a minute trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole.


The key there is "attracting"

There is nothing attractive about this ad, because he's fishing with an unbaited hook.

He wants the perfect mate?  Grand.  So do many women.  But there is literally nothing in this ad about why he'd be perfect for ANYONE.  He's demanding and yet has shown nothing that would make him worthy of being demanding.  There's absolutely nothing about what he looks like (which is kinda farking important in dating) and nothing showing that he has anything that would overcome a lack of looks.  He says he has a job, but made it clear that none of that money would be spent on a significant other, so money isn't a selling point.  That leaves personality, and the ad makes it clear he lacks that too.  Hell, it doesn't even bother to describe any hobbies he might have so he might at least have SOMETHING in common with another human.

So you can be demanding, sure.  But when you're demanding but have nothing to offer in return?  You're a toddler throwing a hissy fit because you want candy.
2013-08-30 11:34:39 AM  
4 votes:

Carousel Beast: Infernalist: Carousel Beast: Infernalist: mike_d85: Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.

Yeah.  Persian.

Every ethnic group has the those types.   So, not going to judge, but I 'will' say that the whole 'ad' reeks of "You're going to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week trying and failing to live up to my expectations.  And you'll be humiliated and possibly beaten for that failing, culminating in rough sex that you may or may not enjoy."

InigoMontoya.gif

Oh, I'll judge a person by his actions, but I won't prejudge an ethnic group based on the actions of one man.

The first is kinda dick-ish.  The second one is being bigoted and racist.  I'll cop to the first, thank you.

Which actions are you judging him by? All he's done is posted a want on Craigslist. I can see ridiculing him for that, but you've made quite the jump in your posts.


Well, just a couple of things jump out at me that sealed that judgement.  He actually set up a FAQ which indicates that he needs to be in control of BOTH sides of the conversation, lest he be caught by a question asked in a way that won't let him appear controlling and righteous.  He had to phrase his questions in a light that allowed him to step on those questions and the imagined questioning women with proper scorn and disdain.

Secondly, he clearly states that he only wants young women within a certain age range, while completely glossing over his own age for most of the thing until he cops to being in his late 30s(though he's probably closer to 45.)

Combine the two and you get a man who's never been married...and probably for good reason...and is undoubtedly bitter about it and isn't likely to stop being bitter once he's snared some stupidly naive girl with no self esteem.

Maybe I'm wrong.  I'm probably not, though.
2013-08-30 09:09:31 AM  
3 votes:
John Fitzgerald Page has met his match.
2013-08-30 03:33:03 PM  
2 votes:

hailin: Though I thought the comments on the article about how he was a douche for not dating anyone currently pregnant or who had kids was odd. I flat out refused to date anyone with kids because I didn't want to be a stepmom. I don't think that makes anyone an asshole to realize they just don't want to be parents yet and to look for a partner who is childless.


A lot of the Jezebel crowd seems to think that not wanting to date a single mother is somehow disrespectful. Personally, a woman with kids is a SERIOUS cons list item. It's almost a no go. Not quite, but I'll tell you, if I dated a woman who had kids, she better swallow more wang than a Chinese shipwreck. I'm not raising some other guy's kid without some serious compensation.
2013-08-30 12:17:17 PM  
2 votes:

furterfan: Q) Why do you ask yourself questions?

a) Good Question. You're obviously a smart individual.


Any guy that answers his own questions with the words, "Good Question" is just too much for me I'm afraid.  I'm not worthy.
2013-08-30 10:54:05 AM  
2 votes:

SlothB77: RickN99: Why's the article hating on the fact he doesn't want to date a pregnant woman or a woman who already has children?  It seems like an honest admission, but they refer to it as 'not respecting' those women.

Oh, wait.  It's Jezebel writing about a man.  Never mind.

Because the single scene is so overwhelmed with pregnant woman.


I believe single moms have been known to date and there are lots of them.  He's not interested in kids and is up-front about it.  What's 'disrespectful' about that?
2013-08-30 10:48:06 AM  
2 votes:

R.A.Danny: fiddlehead: Sounds like he's going to attract the type of women he deserves.

Someone with some very old fashioned values? That isn't a terrible thing, it's just not what most people are looking for.


OK this is farking priceless. I love fark for the fact that you can always find someone who will defend the indefensible.
2013-08-30 10:45:31 AM  
2 votes:

MagicPlasticTreeFrog: BlueDuckFarker: Not trolling.. I don't see that this guy is such a horrible person?

He's pretty uptight about his criteria, and uses quotation marks like a mofo, but he spells well enough, which is better than 80% of the folks on Craigslist personal ads.

But he's just particular about the kind of woman he wants to meet, and it doesn't sound like the kind is anything crazy-impossible to be, either.. he wants to meet a smart, nice woman who's serious about finding a life partner.

I think what he's asking for are pretty much the things many guys look for in a woman, they just don't lay it all out explicitly.  But why waste your time when you know what you're looking for?

I dunno... I think he's fine.  Uptight, but I know lots of uptight guys who have wives/husbands and are very happy.

Is there something super-objectionable about him?  Or is it just the deliberate way he's doing it, and the quotation marks?

People are just upset because it is normally the woman's role to be impossibly choosy. He's screwing up the game by having a standard higher than 'DTF', and it is frightening to some women that they may actually need to have more depth to their character to attract a man in the modern age. Ain't equality a biatch?


Nope, lol, and you sound insecure.

His ad is basically a flashing neon-green sign that screams "I have self-esteem issues due to my height and/or penis size and should you choose to get connected to me, you WILL pay the price for that.  Hell, I can't even get through this ad without belittling those who might sincerely respond.  Should we end up in a relationship, you will suffer for that mistake, but I'm rich and old and might die soon, so rolls your dice and takes your chances, doormats."
2013-08-30 10:27:06 AM  
2 votes:

BlueDuckFarker: Is there something super-objectionable about him?


If you've ever wondered how to tell if a guy beats his wife, this article is an example of that kind of guy.
2013-08-30 10:21:31 AM  
2 votes:
Why's the article hating on the fact he doesn't want to date a pregnant woman or a woman who already has children?  It seems like an honest admission, but they refer to it as 'not respecting' those women.

Oh, wait.  It's Jezebel writing about a man.  Never mind.
2013-08-30 10:21:01 AM  
2 votes:
Q) Why do you ask yourself questions?

a) Good Question. You're obviously a smart individual.
2013-08-30 10:20:57 AM  
2 votes:
The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.
2013-08-30 08:51:28 AM  
2 votes:
18) Question: Do you have any children? Do you have a wife or ever been married?

Answer: NO.



Hard to believe.
2013-08-31 02:48:15 AM  
1 vote:
Nope.  Nope. Nope.  Do not want.  I like not being abused and manipulated.  Most of the time.  Unless I ask for it.
2013-08-30 03:40:07 PM  
1 vote:

Magnanimous_J: hailin: Though I thought the comments on the article about how he was a douche for not dating anyone currently pregnant or who had kids was odd. I flat out refused to date anyone with kids because I didn't want to be a stepmom. I don't think that makes anyone an asshole to realize they just don't want to be parents yet and to look for a partner who is childless.

A lot of the Jezebel crowd seems to think that not wanting to date a single mother is somehow disrespectful. Personally, a woman with kids is a SERIOUS cons list item. It's almost a no go. Not quite, but I'll tell you, if I dated a woman who had kids, she better swallow more wang than a Chinese shipwreck. I'm not raising some other guy's kid without some serious compensation.


I have dated single moms.  I married one.  That didn't turn out all that great.  The other time I dated a single mom it was too much of a hassle.  She could never find time away from her kid.  I actually didn't mind a trip to the ice cream parlor.  It was fun.  But make adult only time, please, because I'm not taking a seven year old to a fancy restaurant.  It was also obvious the kid was acting up whenever I was around. Typically by refusing to go to bed at her regular hour and insisting that she was scared and wanted to sleep with mommy.  Which tends to put a damper on the adult activities.
2013-08-30 02:36:36 PM  
1 vote:

ZeroCorpse: FTFA's comments:

I will admit that I could not make it all of the way to the end of his FAQ's but I will say that this reads as an excellent mansplanation of why he's single and why I'm a happily partnered gay lady.

Seriously? "Mansplanation"?! Are you farking serious? You hate men THAT much, than you have to make up words to insinuate a lack of intelligence based on gender?

What an asshole.

I'm a friend to the LGBT community, but this proves that every group has its bigoted shiatheads.


Hey, Outrage Bro, 'mansplain' is a real word.

/And where did you get that she hated men?
2013-08-30 02:26:28 PM  
1 vote:
Some of it is common sense, and what guys think, and would want in a potential partner.

But he was dumb enough to say it out loud.
2013-08-30 01:50:04 PM  
1 vote:
Wow, this is far longer than the one I would run:

Looking for: Decent looking, intelligent woman who will fark me.
2013-08-30 01:41:15 PM  
1 vote:

phaseolus: ZeroCorpse: What part of "Iranian/Persian man" did you miss?


I'm lacking personal familiarity, here. Not many Persians settled in Milwaukee. The only Persian-American I've had the chance to observe in recent memory is a Farker who apparently doesn't post much anymore, at least over here in liter-land, and he always came across as more cerebral and thoughtful than domineering and narcissistic.


Understandable. I lived in a city dominated by Middle Easterners, and in my experience, the men tend to view women as little more than accessories to their manhood. Men make all the decisions. Women serve men.

The woman who responds to this should also ask if he prefers her to undergo genital mutilation so sex isn't as pleasurable for her, or if she can keep her clitoris intact. I hate to say it, but a lot of those guys are apparently intimidated (or is it offended?) by a woman who actually enjoys sex.
2013-08-30 01:03:51 PM  
1 vote:
Sounds like the bible thumper I worked with. When she first got here she wouldn't STFU about her life. One day she went on about the guy she was going to marry. She laid out all the critiria he would have to meet, athletic, tall, (meanwhile she was short and fat) rich, own homes around the world, own lots of businesses, the list went on and on hell by the end of it if that guy existed I would have married him and I'm not gay (NTTIAWWT). If she ever placed an ad it may as well have been titled "Disney Princess seeks Disney Prince" I thnk she will be a cat lady one day.
2013-08-30 12:59:27 PM  
1 vote:

fiddlehead: I missed this "gem":

"Men, in general, are TURNED-OFF by aggressive or argumentative woman BECAUSE it is characteristic of a traditional "masculine" person and NOT someone feminine."

This sentiment is common in MRA circles and almost always translates to "Women have no right to question or challenge a man's opinion."


Heh.  It reminded me of many many many years ago, I dated a man who took a swing at me.  (well no, he bashed the side of my head in with his boot while I was sleeping, but that's another tale).  Of course after I got home from the hospital, I promptly packed up, moved out.  One day he was in the parking lot when I came out of work and begged me to take him back.  I said no, and fark off forever, don't come here again or contact me in any way or I will call the police.

He SCREAMED at me that I wanted to be the MAN OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND IF I KNEW WHAT WAS GOOD FOR ME I'D GET OVER THAT REALLY FARKING FAST.

I can see this little prick doing something like that if a woman disagreed or broke up with him.
2013-08-30 12:51:19 PM  
1 vote:
I missed this "gem":

"Men, in general, are TURNED-OFF by aggressive or argumentative woman BECAUSE it is characteristic of a traditional "masculine" person and NOT someone feminine."

This sentiment is common in MRA circles and almost always translates to "Women have no right to question or challenge a man's opinion."
2013-08-30 12:23:39 PM  
1 vote:

Hella Fark: in that regard i'd only fault him for being overly thorough for craigslist or any online dating ad. but shiat if any women aren't outright offended ...



I'm not a chick but I'd hazard a guess that the Jezebel readers (and probably most adult women in the U.S.) aren't offended by the pickiness so much as they find it ridiculous. Worthy of ridicule.

But his pickiness is only half the story.

The other issue is his clarity about his expectations for the balance of power in a relationship -- i.e. he has it all, the woman gets absolutely none. Yeah, maybe there are women out there who are perfectly fine with that, maybe even comforted by it (à la R.A.Danny's comment above), but it's the 21st Century and that sort of thing is really ... Old World, pre-Modern. I would expect the overwhelming majority of women in the U.S., if presented with a specimen like him, would have an opinion ranging from 'hell with that guy' to taking offense, depending on how easily rankled she is.
2013-08-30 12:15:15 PM  
1 vote:
Looks like someone has been reading dating advice online and is taking the whole "act like an asshole and women will respect you" thing a little too far.
2013-08-30 12:09:11 PM  
1 vote:

dustygrimp: But I thought confidence was sexy.


So is cologne.  In the right amount.
2013-08-30 11:30:25 AM  
1 vote:

hailin: Ha this guy sounds like a gem. Why are you all hating on every girls fantasy?

Though I thought the comments on the article about how he was a douche for not dating anyone currently pregnant or who had kids was odd. I flat out refused to date anyone with kids because I didn't want to be a stepmom. I don't think that makes anyone an asshole to realize they just don't want to be parents yet and to look for a partner who is childless.


RickN99: Why's the article hating on the fact he doesn't want to date a pregnant woman or a woman who already has children?  It seems like an honest admission, but they refer to it as 'not respecting' those women.

Oh, wait.  It's Jezebel writing about a man.  Never mind.



Me too.  I don't get how that is disrespectful to women.  I also didn't date men with children (unless they were grown and out on their own) because I didn't want to deal with it.  I don't see that as an issue.

The rest of it?  Douchebaggery of the highest order.
2013-08-30 11:20:20 AM  
1 vote:

mike_d85: FTFA:
13) Question: I am super cute and have a great body. Are you good enough for me?

Answer: Tell me something about yourself that I or other men cannot $$ PURCHASE $$ for a few dollars off the street and you will have my attention.

OK, I'll admit it:  I started liking this guy at this point.


That was my exact reaction as well when I read that part. Sure, he's an arrogant bastard, but he DOES have a point.
2013-08-30 11:19:00 AM  
1 vote:

Molavian: I dunno, a buddy of mine ended up marrying a woman who had posted a similar list of what she was looking for in a guy.  They've been happily married for 15 years because she was up front about what she was looking for and so was he.


They've been married 15 years?  Did she post it to a light pole or something like geocities?
2013-08-30 10:54:13 AM  
1 vote:

R.A.Danny: fiddlehead: Sounds like he's going to attract the type of women he deserves.

Someone with some very old fashioned values? That isn't a terrible thing, it's just not what most people are looking for.


He's not old-fashioned, he has a huge chip on his shoulder when it comes to women. Sane women won't have anything to do with guys like him.

Also, his comment about how girls reach puberty at age 9-10 is a huge warning flag.

/Wouldn't surprise me if the whole thing was fake, though.
2013-08-30 10:50:08 AM  
1 vote:

Tigger: R.A.Danny: fiddlehead: Sounds like he's going to attract the type of women he deserves.

Someone with some very old fashioned values? That isn't a terrible thing, it's just not what most people are looking for.

OK this is farking priceless. I love fark for the fact that you can always find someone who will defend the indefensible.


Who is he harming? If you wrote out an ad and really worked on attracting the perfect mate you would most likely look like a douchebag too. Don't spend a minute trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole.
2013-08-30 10:47:47 AM  
1 vote:

cookiefleck: It's more like it reads like he would prefer a "pay for play" rather than an honest relationship. Everything has to do with reciprocation, if he deems you worthy enough.


Yeah, what really put me off his schtick was that he wasn't willing to take the first step. It's fine if you have a crazy list of demands for a potential partner, but you've got to be the one taking the first step. None of this "I get to judge your worthiness" crap. My sister and her hubby go so far as to have a relationship contract and a marriage mission statement that helps them resolve conflict, but it's a willing thing by both parties, and despite the names they're both more a mutual statement of values.

Can you imagine what a breakup with this guy is like? "Sorry honey, but I have concluded that we're breaking up pursuant to requirement #7 subsection 2 part A. You failed to demonstrate emotional maturity."
2013-08-30 10:46:43 AM  
1 vote:
I was actually hugely relieved to read this and all the comments.  I had thought I was the only person who felt this way about persian (or whatever the hell steretype fits the bill) douchebags.  But being a decent person I have kept those thoughts to myself rather than be a bigot, at least now I know it's not just me that finds them appalling. (I told my sister that if she dated a middle eastern guy like this and he took her to his country to live that horrible life, I would not come over and save her ass.  The truth is I would come get her and enjoy kicking his ass into dust.)
2013-08-30 10:46:16 AM  
1 vote:

RickN99: Why's the article hating on the fact he doesn't want to date a pregnant woman or a woman who already has children?  It seems like an honest admission, but they refer to it as 'not respecting' those women.

Oh, wait.  It's Jezebel writing about a man.  Never mind.


Because the single scene is so overwhelmed with pregnant woman.
2013-08-30 10:40:54 AM  
1 vote:

BlueDuckFarker: Not trolling.. I don't see that this guy is such a horrible person?

He's pretty uptight about his criteria, and uses quotation marks like a mofo, but he spells well enough, which is better than 80% of the folks on Craigslist personal ads.

But he's just particular about the kind of woman he wants to meet, and it doesn't sound like the kind is anything crazy-impossible to be, either.. he wants to meet a smart, nice woman who's serious about finding a life partner.

I think what he's asking for are pretty much the things many guys look for in a woman, they just don't lay it all out explicitly.  But why waste your time when you know what you're looking for?

I dunno... I think he's fine.  Uptight, but I know lots of uptight guys who have wives/husbands and are very happy.

Is there something super-objectionable about him?  Or is it just the deliberate way he's doing it, and the quotation marks?


People are just upset because it is normally the woman's role to be impossibly choosy. He's screwing up the game by having a standard higher than 'DTF', and it is frightening to some women that they may actually need to have more depth to their character to attract a man in the modern age. Ain't equality a biatch?
2013-08-30 10:31:54 AM  
1 vote:
He also seems like the type after you've gone through all his hoops, that if it turned out YOU weren't interested in him, he would get all stalky fedora on you.
2013-08-30 10:27:23 AM  
1 vote:
'I have my own house (not apartment)..."

Now there's a basement/crawlspace that needs checking.
2013-08-30 10:21:14 AM  
1 vote:
Ha this guy sounds like a gem. Why are you all hating on every girls fantasy?

Though I thought the comments on the article about how he was a douche for not dating anyone currently pregnant or who had kids was odd. I flat out refused to date anyone with kids because I didn't want to be a stepmom. I don't think that makes anyone an asshole to realize they just don't want to be parents yet and to look for a partner who is childless.
2013-08-30 10:13:27 AM  
1 vote:

cookiefleck: There's something fishy about the fact that he wants all of this personal information about his potential partners, plus pics and then he'll maybe disclose some info, if the chick is "worthy"? Sounds like he either wants to steal identities or wants to fill his spank bank.


I knew a guy once in college that would sign up for internet dating sites use a fake guy pic to get girl pics and then use those girl pics to get even more guy pics nudes which he would then sell to amateur porn sites.
2013-08-30 10:11:03 AM  
1 vote:

Archae hippy: The dude loves "quotation" marks.


Came to say this.
My favorite was:
4) Question: I'm not in California. I currently live in Dallas, Texas. Is that OK?

Answer: No. If you live "outside" of Southern California it will be very difficult or impossible for a real friendship or relationship requiring an "airplane" for traveling and meeting.

Is he trying to say those flying things people use for travel are not airplanes?
All this time, I've been living a lie...
2013-08-30 10:09:26 AM  
1 vote:
I bet his inbox is blowing up.

/seriously
2013-08-30 10:09:11 AM  
1 vote:
<I>John Fitzgerald Page has met his match.Doesn't he have to be at the gym soon?</I>

This.
2013-08-30 10:08:52 AM  
1 vote:

tricycleracer: I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian).

Oh man, I bet he's got a sweet BMW E46 M3.


In white. It's always white.
2013-08-30 10:08:22 AM  
1 vote:
The dude loves "quotation" marks.
2013-08-30 10:07:13 AM  
1 vote:
Doesn't he have to be at the gym soon?
2013-08-30 10:06:59 AM  
1 vote:
FTFA:
13) Question: I am super cute and have a great body. Are you good enough for me?

Answer: Tell me something about yourself that I or other men cannot $$ PURCHASE $$ for a few dollars off the street and you will have my attention.


OK, I'll admit it:  I started liking this guy at this point.
2013-08-30 10:03:19 AM  
1 vote:
I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian).

Oh man, I bet he's got a sweet BMW E46 M3.
2013-08-30 10:03:18 AM  
1 vote:
I would have never, NEVER in a million years have guessed that this ad was by a Persian. It's just so out of character from virtually every Persian male I have ever met.
2013-08-30 09:22:15 AM  
1 vote:
29.) What's your Fark handle?
 
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