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(Jezebel)   Guys, grab a cup of coffee and read what the perfect Craigslist personal ad looks like. Rule #1: Use lots of "quotation" marks. Rule #2: Have an FAQ section   (jezebel.com) divider line 224
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18784 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Aug 2013 at 9:56 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-30 12:29:14 PM

INeedAName: Cybernetic: tricycleracer: I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian).

Oh man, I bet he's got a sweet BMW E46 M3.

In white. It's always white.

Nah. I'm thinking forest green with a beige leather interior.


Wait. My car is forest green with beige leather interior....

My god
 
2013-08-30 12:30:37 PM

sno man: 30.) Does your mother still iron your underwear?


A) No, that will be your job once we are together.
 
2013-08-30 12:34:46 PM
There's nothing illegal about his ad.  Detailed and picky yes.  I have always thought that when posting a personal ad it's better to share a little bit more about yourself up front so those replying to it can decide if they have anything in common with you or not.  But, hey.  I guess he knows what he wants.  I'm sure he'll get some responses and if he's in SoCal, aren't all the women out there pretty perfect anyway or at least strive to be?  Not like he's posting an ad to meet chicks from Iowa or Michigan.  I'm only basing the perfect comment re SoCal from a friend I've known for years-drop dead gorgeous tall blonde and she was horrified the first time I stepped out of my apartment to go to the grocery store without makeup.  Nearly had a heart attack when I told her that when I lived in AK, I went shopping in my jammies quite often.  So yeah, this cat will find someone with his ad, I'm pretty sure given the area he's searching and lives in.  Maybe he's just shy with women in person and figured CraigsList was a good starting point.  Also, and I only say this from dating a man from Pakistan many years ago-a lot of Middle Eastern men are extremely hot.  Or extremely not.  There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.  I dated a really hot one and it's too bad it didn't work out, he was a nice guy but also very picky about the women he dated.  No idea how I ever made the cut.  Still have fond memories of him, though.
 
2013-08-30 12:39:38 PM

Yanks_RSJ: And let's all watch as the jezzies ignore their apartment full of cats for an hour or two to rip this guy to shreds.


I can't wait to see if any of them post some sort of response from him.  There were at least a couple of threads with people planning on trolling him.
 
2013-08-30 12:40:37 PM

ferretman: "I'm from Persia/Iran."


Now THAT's a man begging for a cockpunchin'
 
2013-08-30 12:41:18 PM
I've been accused of being unreasonable because of my overly strict demands.  "Not fat".
 
2013-08-30 12:42:59 PM
A "personal ad" that long is either fake or gigantic blinking neon warning sign. Short of wearing a nametag that says, "Hi! I'm an insufferable asshole," not sure how it gets clearer.
 
2013-08-30 12:50:58 PM

ZeroCorpse: What part of "Iranian/Persian man" did you miss?



I'm lacking personal familiarity, here. Not many Persians settled in Milwaukee. The only Persian-American I've had the chance to observe in recent memory is a Farker who apparently doesn't post much anymore, at least over here in liter-land, and he always came across as more cerebral and thoughtful than domineering and narcissistic.
 
2013-08-30 12:51:19 PM
I missed this "gem":

"Men, in general, are TURNED-OFF by aggressive or argumentative woman BECAUSE it is characteristic of a traditional "masculine" person and NOT someone feminine."

This sentiment is common in MRA circles and almost always translates to "Women have no right to question or challenge a man's opinion."
 
2013-08-30 12:53:25 PM

cookiefleck: Dafatone: Good points have been made in this thread about why public opinion is against intervening, even though the case is stronger against Syria than Iraq.

One thing overlooked is Saddam.  While as far as I can tell, he wasn't doing much to warrant our going into Iraq (other than generally just being a bad guy,) he was a very visible dictator who we had fought in the past, and was widely known as a villain all over America.

What percent of the country knows who Assad is?  It's gotta be a much, MUCH lower percentage than those who knew who Saddam was.

heh. It's nuanced, I like it.


...I'll show myself out.

/jesus, that's like... 45 billion levels of unintentional troll right there.
 
2013-08-30 12:53:49 PM
I'm also not sure where this idea that he wants ALL THE POWER comes from, either.  He doesn't like argumentative women... I'm gonna hazard a guess that most of you are kind of like me -- fairly argumentative in general.  And haven't you met lots of people who don't care for that aspect of your personality?

He very clearly lays out that disagreement != aggressive argumentative.  He finds it an unattractive quality, doesn't want to waste his time with it.

The more y'all hate on it, the more I think this is how every personal ad should be constructed.

Also, an FAQ does not suggest that you're asking yourself questions.  When you're posting a personal on Craigslist, it's a fair guess you've been down the other avenues already.  That you've met certain types you don't care for is a given, and why not present them?  "These are my known deal-breakers, ladies.  If you recognize yourself in one of these questions, please move along."

If this guy meets someone, I think they're both going to be very happy.
 
2013-08-30 12:54:23 PM

OgreMagi: I've been accused of being unreasonable because of my overly strict demands.  "Not fat".


You likes what you likes, no crime.  I've been accused of being unreasonable of my demands too, "not stupid".  My current SO/old man is skinnier than me and it took me the better part of a year to adjust to that.  He could end up just being a head in a jar, ala Futurama and I'd still love him.  But, the body helps :)

My ex-husband was both fat and not the sharpest knife in the drawer.  Guess why I divorced him?  Not because of the fat thing.  He was a mouth-breathing, idiotic, racist waste of oxygen.  Didn't find out the racist part until after marriage, sadly.  And yes, we met online *sigh*

Maybe it's not the worst thing in the world that this guy is so picky.  Maybe it saves him time and money.  The ad is a bit offensive, but again, he likes what he likes, so be it.
 
2013-08-30 12:55:01 PM

specialkae: There's nothing illegal about his ad.  Detailed and picky yes.  I have always thought that when posting a personal ad it's better to share a little bit more about yourself up front so those replying to it can decide if they have anything in common with you or not.  But, hey.  I guess he knows what he wants.  I'm sure he'll get some responses and if he's in SoCal, aren't all the women out there pretty perfect anyway or at least strive to be?  Not like he's posting an ad to meet chicks from Iowa or Michigan.  I'm only basing the perfect comment re SoCal from a friend I've known for years-drop dead gorgeous tall blonde and she was horrified the first time I stepped out of my apartment to go to the grocery store without makeup.  Nearly had a heart attack when I told her that when I lived in AK, I went shopping in my jammies quite often.  So yeah, this cat will find someone with his ad, I'm pretty sure given the area he's searching and lives in.  Maybe he's just shy with women in person and figured CraigsList was a good starting point.  Also, and I only say this from dating a man from Pakistan many years ago-a lot of Middle Eastern men are extremely hot.  Or extremely not.  There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.  I dated a really hot one and it's too bad it didn't work out, he was a nice guy but also very picky about the women he dated.  No idea how I ever made the cut.  Still have fond memories of him, though.


I never saw 'illegal' mentioned.  However, while he has every right to be a self righteous douchebag, it's hardly him sharing a little more about himself.  He shares exactly nothing about himself, except he's Persian/something and an ass.  Not even his real age, height, etc. but he demands it from any female who has self esteem low enough to answer his ad.

Not even going with the premise "there are no really super duper hot women outside of socal, you know, in places like Iowa" because well, that's just silly.  You can find hot women everywhere.  However your chances of finding plastic women ARE much higher in socal.

But I'm still 55% fake ad, 45% douchebag who will be alone and 5' tall and rich.  But alone forever.
 
2013-08-30 12:59:27 PM

fiddlehead: I missed this "gem":

"Men, in general, are TURNED-OFF by aggressive or argumentative woman BECAUSE it is characteristic of a traditional "masculine" person and NOT someone feminine."

This sentiment is common in MRA circles and almost always translates to "Women have no right to question or challenge a man's opinion."


Heh.  It reminded me of many many many years ago, I dated a man who took a swing at me.  (well no, he bashed the side of my head in with his boot while I was sleeping, but that's another tale).  Of course after I got home from the hospital, I promptly packed up, moved out.  One day he was in the parking lot when I came out of work and begged me to take him back.  I said no, and fark off forever, don't come here again or contact me in any way or I will call the police.

He SCREAMED at me that I wanted to be the MAN OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND IF I KNEW WHAT WAS GOOD FOR ME I'D GET OVER THAT REALLY FARKING FAST.

I can see this little prick doing something like that if a woman disagreed or broke up with him.
 
2013-08-30 01:03:39 PM

RickN99: Why's the article hating on the fact he doesn't want to date a pregnant woman or a woman who already has children? It seems like an honest admission, but they refer to it as 'not respecting' those women.


Not wanting to pick up someone else's saved game makes you a shiatlord. Or something.

It doesn't make someone a dick if they don't want to get involved with someone who's got kids. I won't, and I know a lot of guys who won't either.

Out of all the things on shiatbird's list, the only one that I see as reasonable is that he's not interested in any single mothers.
 
2013-08-30 01:03:51 PM
Sounds like the bible thumper I worked with. When she first got here she wouldn't STFU about her life. One day she went on about the guy she was going to marry. She laid out all the critiria he would have to meet, athletic, tall, (meanwhile she was short and fat) rich, own homes around the world, own lots of businesses, the list went on and on hell by the end of it if that guy existed I would have married him and I'm not gay (NTTIAWWT). If she ever placed an ad it may as well have been titled "Disney Princess seeks Disney Prince" I thnk she will be a cat lady one day.
 
2013-08-30 01:10:26 PM

mike_d85: IdBeCrazyIf:
I knew a guy once in college that would sign up for internet dating sites use a fake guy pic to get girl pics and then use those girl pics to get even more guy pics nudes which he would then sell to amateur porn sites.

"I knew a guy once" huh?  Yeah, I bet your the reason why my giant wang is on image fap.

/Giant.
//No, you can't check.
///because f*ck you, that's why.



You "know a guy"?
www.gonewiththetwins.com
 
2013-08-30 01:27:22 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: cookiefleck: There's something fishy about the fact that he wants all of this personal information about his potential partners, plus pics and then he'll maybe disclose some info, if the chick is "worthy"? Sounds like he either wants to steal identities or wants to fill his spank bank.

I knew a guy once in college that would sign up for internet dating sites use a fake guy pic to get girl pics and then use those girl pics to get even more guy pics nudes which he would then sell to amateur porn sites.


So that's how it happened...damn.
 
2013-08-30 01:37:00 PM
What a catch.
 
2013-08-30 01:41:15 PM

phaseolus: ZeroCorpse: What part of "Iranian/Persian man" did you miss?


I'm lacking personal familiarity, here. Not many Persians settled in Milwaukee. The only Persian-American I've had the chance to observe in recent memory is a Farker who apparently doesn't post much anymore, at least over here in liter-land, and he always came across as more cerebral and thoughtful than domineering and narcissistic.


Understandable. I lived in a city dominated by Middle Easterners, and in my experience, the men tend to view women as little more than accessories to their manhood. Men make all the decisions. Women serve men.

The woman who responds to this should also ask if he prefers her to undergo genital mutilation so sex isn't as pleasurable for her, or if she can keep her clitoris intact. I hate to say it, but a lot of those guys are apparently intimidated (or is it offended?) by a woman who actually enjoys sex.
 
2013-08-30 01:44:33 PM
I read that in a middle-eastern accent.  I'm sure many did.

I feel like I did that before he mentioned being Persian/Iranian, but I don't remember for sure.

I'd like to think I did, anyway.
 
2013-08-30 01:50:04 PM
Wow, this is far longer than the one I would run:

Looking for: Decent looking, intelligent woman who will fark me.
 
2013-08-30 01:51:58 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: specialkae: There's nothing illegal about his ad.  Detailed and picky yes.  I have always thought that when posting a personal ad it's better to share a little bit more about yourself up front so those replying to it can decide if they have anything in common with you or not.  But, hey.  I guess he knows what he wants.  I'm sure he'll get some responses and if he's in SoCal, aren't all the women out there pretty perfect anyway or at least strive to be?  Not like he's posting an ad to meet chicks from Iowa or Michigan.  I'm only basing the perfect comment re SoCal from a friend I've known for years-drop dead gorgeous tall blonde and she was horrified the first time I stepped out of my apartment to go to the grocery store without makeup.  Nearly had a heart attack when I told her that when I lived in AK, I went shopping in my jammies quite often.  So yeah, this cat will find someone with his ad, I'm pretty sure given the area he's searching and lives in.  Maybe he's just shy with women in person and figured CraigsList was a good starting point.  Also, and I only say this from dating a man from Pakistan many years ago-a lot of Middle Eastern men are extremely hot.  Or extremely not.  There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.  I dated a really hot one and it's too bad it didn't work out, he was a nice guy but also very picky about the women he dated.  No idea how I ever made the cut.  Still have fond memories of him, though.

I never saw 'illegal' mentioned.  However, while he has every right to be a self righteous douchebag, it's hardly him sharing a little more about himself.  He shares exactly nothing about himself, except he's Persian/something and an ass.  Not even his real age, height, etc. but he demands it from any female who has self esteem low enough to answer his ad.

Not even going with the premise "there are no really super duper hot women outside of socal, you know, in places like Iowa" because well, that's just silly.  You can find hot women everywhere.   ...


He SCREAMED at me that I wanted to be the MAN OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND IF I KNEW WHAT WAS GOOD FOR ME I'D GET OVER THAT REALLY FARKING FAST.
I can see this little prick doing something like that if a woman disagreed or broke up with him.



Just for your handle I'm replying and I miss my bunny slippers, dogs ate them. Hey, I agree, I only mention illegal because so many folks in this thread were/are willing to crucify this guy and while he's not really doing anything wrong it is of course strongly questionable and putting him on trial in the Fark courtroom where we are anything but impartial.  Yes, I think he should provide a few more vital stats.  Let's someone on Fark monitor this ad and see what kind of bites he gets.  I'm still betting on several sincere responses, but who knows what he'll get from posting the ad?  Inquiring minds want to know.   Also, speaking as a kept woman, I'm good with it, but, I should add I am not beaten, mistreated or told to do the housework although it is my responsibility.  I don't mind being taken care of, but it was an adjustment and I go back to work next Tuesday full time making near on what my old man does.  He pays the bills, I take care of the house and pay for incidentals, date nights and stuff for the kid.  It's not a bad arrangement if both parties agree and are at peace with it.  Maybe that's why I'm defending this guy a bit-if he wants and finds a woman who meets his needs and will take care of her (if he does, per his FAQ) who's to say otherwise?  It's a good gig so long as not a Quiverfull family or any other odd or potentially abusive situation.  Hell, the old man/SO bought me my car (used, of course). Didn't bat an eyelash.  I do my part, he does his.  Everyone is happy.  Not a big deal.  It can and does work in certain situations like maybe this picky guy is looking for.  Over the course of a week, I "work" almost 20 hrs more than the old man.  Doesn't bother me, he takes care of other more important matters so I don't have to worry my pretty lil head over them.  I spent enough time worrying and our distribution of labor is near equal in our household, but I have chosen to take a more subservient role.  Doesn't make me any less of a woman.

/you are now favorited only because of your handle which I do so love :)
 
2013-08-30 01:54:42 PM

Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.


He claims to be in his thirties, which he helpfully defines as "between 30 - 39."
 
2013-08-30 01:56:30 PM

elev8meL8r: Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He claims to be in his thirties, which he helpfully defines as "between 30 - 39."


Which means he's at least 45 based on online dating rules.
 
2013-08-30 01:58:02 PM
www.thesmokingjacket.com

Damn he loves quotes.
 
2013-08-30 01:58:41 PM

The Muthaship: I bet his inbox is blowing up.

/seriously


No it isn't, because some asshole flagged it. I was going to suggest we all open up alt emails and spam the fark out of him.
 
2013-08-30 01:59:24 PM
Personals on craigslist are awesome. Here is a gem from missed connections today:

"So I was in getting a spray tan today when something embarrassing happened. You and I both know what it is. I have been abstinent for a little while now, due to spiritual reasons, and what happened is what some refer to as precum; my recent abstinence combined with the personal and exhilarating thrill that comes along with being naked in front of a pretty lady, is to blame for the incident. I just wanted to insure you that there is nothing wrong with me no infections or anything. I also want to stress that the purpose of this post is not to hit on you, but just to explain the awkward situation. Please respond if you read this post so know you understand the situation."
 
2013-08-30 02:00:18 PM

BlueDuckFarker: Not trolling.. I don't see that this guy is such a horrible person?

He's pretty uptight about his criteria, and uses quotation marks like a mofo, but he spells well enough, which is better than 80% of the folks on Craigslist personal ads.

But he's just particular about the kind of woman he wants to meet, and it doesn't sound like the kind is anything crazy-impossible to be, either.. he wants to meet a smart, nice woman who's serious about finding a life partner.

I think what he's asking for are pretty much the things many guys look for in a woman, they just don't lay it all out explicitly.  But why waste your time when you know what you're looking for?

I dunno... I think he's fine.  Uptight, but I know lots of uptight guys who have wives/husbands and are very happy.

Is there something super-objectionable about him?  Or is it just the deliberate way he's doing it, and the quotation marks?


He's an arrogant asshole. Sure, posting some guidelines can't hurt, but he just barely stops at insisting in inspecting the women like they were horseflesh. Maybe that part got truncated due to length.
 
2013-08-30 02:05:19 PM
specialkae: /you are now favorited only because of your handle which I do so love :)


Well thanks!  Rereading my post, I came off lots more biatchy than I intended.  I have no issue whatsoever if it's a joint agreement thing, and I'm all for that.  To me, he just comes off as having some pretty serious issues about the "worth" and "deserving" of women.  That rings/smacks of "you shall do as I say, when I say it, and if you don't agree in the beginning, fark off".

Your relationship is representative of a fine and healthy one, it's give and take.  The way I read this ad, it's all give from the female's side to be tossed some sort of gratuity from him *if* he deems her worthy.

And I'm sorry about your slippers.  :)
 
2013-08-30 02:11:28 PM
22) Question ("Comment"): I am scared of "Internet" dating. I don't meet anyone from the Internet.
Answer: Then why are you on the "Internet" and searching here?


Because I heard that you were a batshiat crazy asshole, and I had to check it out for myself.

25) Question ("Comment"): I can't date or go out unless my parents give me permission -OR- I have to be home by 10 pm because my parents will get mad -OR- My sister is next to me right now so I can't talk on the phone.
Answer: If you are 18 or 30 years old (legal adult) and your parents or siblings still "control" your decisions, then please don't contact me. I am not looking to "babysit" anyone or let you make me feel I am with a child.


But I sure as shiat want to control the fark out of YOU... I'm "Persian", after all, let ME keep you in line, but with no outside interference.

/The only Persians I ever met who insisted on being called 'Persian', rather than Iranian were cocky, arrogant, self-important pricks.
 
2013-08-30 02:11:59 PM
Anyone from back in the Internet's formative years remember "Mary, the Gentle Dominant Princess"? (I'm thinking '97 or so.) Same kind of thing -- she had a wall-o-text website ostensibly looking for someone to date, but with a whole mess of crazy behind it.

I remember her spelling out specific responses that you would have to give to her when she first called you, to indicate that you had read all of her rules and requirements, and there was a whole schedule of gifts that you were supposed to give to her at various points during your first dates.

Her website floated around some of the message boards I was reading back then, but Google has no recollection of her whatsoever.
 
2013-08-30 02:14:42 PM

Uzzah: Anyone from back in the Internet's formative years remember "Mary, the Gentle Dominant Princess"? (I'm thinking '97 or so.) Same kind of thing -- she had a wall-o-text website ostensibly looking for someone to date, but with a whole mess of crazy behind it.

I remember her spelling out specific responses that you would have to give to her when she first called you, to indicate that you had read all of her rules and requirements, and there was a whole schedule of gifts that you were supposed to give to her at various points during your first dates.

Her website floated around some of the message boards I was reading back then, but Google has no recollection of her whatsoever.


Look upthread.
 
2013-08-30 02:18:31 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Uzzah: Anyone from back in the Internet's formative years remember "Mary, the Gentle Dominant Princess"?

Look upthread.


No. I insist on having the conversation proceed according to my structure. If you can't abide by that, I don't think we're going to get along very well.
 
2013-08-30 02:19:50 PM

Uzzah: Satan's Bunny Slippers: Uzzah: Anyone from back in the Internet's formative years remember "Mary, the Gentle Dominant Princess"?

Look upthread.

No. I insist on having the conversation proceed according to my structure. If you can't abide by that, I don't think we're going to get along very well.



Aw, c'mere you!!  Imma hug you and squeeze you and pet you and pat you and I will call you George!!!

:P
 
2013-08-30 02:22:29 PM
P.S.  Wtf is up with all the anti-Persion and Iranian bits?  An asshat like this can stand up on his own without the need to involve any racial stereotyping.

fark.  I am dissapoint
 
2013-08-30 02:23:25 PM

Uzzah: Anyone from back in the Internet's formative years remember "Mary, the Gentle Dominant Princess"? (I'm thinking '97 or so.) Same kind of thing -- she had a wall-o-text website ostensibly looking for someone to date, but with a whole mess of crazy behind it.

I remember her spelling out specific responses that you would have to give to her when she first called you, to indicate that you had read all of her rules and requirements, and there was a whole schedule of gifts that you were supposed to give to her at various points during your first dates.

Her website floated around some of the message boards I was reading back then, but Google has no recollection of her whatsoever.


You'll still see similar ads posted on various dating sites.  There's usually a wall of text outlining what kind of guy they want which usually begins with "I'm down to earth"  WTF does that mean?  You need a six figure income, have six pack abs, never married, late 20s early 30s, own your own home, etc.  And buried somewhere near the end is "must like middle aged big girls".

In general, people on dating websites, both men and women, have unreasonable expectations.
 
2013-08-30 02:25:20 PM

OgreMagi:  "must like middle aged big girls".



Hell that's my opening line!
 
2013-08-30 02:26:28 PM
Some of it is common sense, and what guys think, and would want in a potential partner.

But he was dumb enough to say it out loud.
 
2013-08-30 02:30:11 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: specialkae: /you are now favorited only because of your handle which I do so love :)


Well thanks!  Rereading my post, I came off lots more biatchy than I intended.  I have no issue whatsoever if it's a joint agreement thing, and I'm all for that.  To me, he just comes off as having some pretty serious issues about the "worth" and "deserving" of women.  That rings/smacks of "you shall do as I say, when I say it, and if you don't agree in the beginning, fark off".

Your relationship is representative of a fine and healthy one, it's give and take.  The way I read this ad, it's all give from the female's side to be tossed some sort of gratuity from him *if* he deems her worthy.

And I'm sorry about your slippers.  :)


Me too.  Stupid Labs, I miss them.  Ex got 'em.

Hey NP, have you seen some of my posts?  Yeah biatchay would be the word.  I have read your posts for a few years and know that you are sane.  Why I like you.

To me, he just comes off as having some pretty serious issues about the "worth" and "deserving" of women.  That rings/smacks of "you shall do as I say, when I say it, and if you don't agree in the beginning, fark off".

From the postie:

Yeah really could be an issue with this guy, but I try to err on the side of caution when it comes to men and their psycology-never sure these days.  I think that men have become more fair minded overall and that extends to international borders to a degree that they wish to be fair, but many times cultural alignments and expectations cause them to not phrase very well, IMHO as well as translate over into caveman speak-woman-mine, which may or may not be the true intent.  I think most times it is not.  Hint, I've known my old man for almost 20 years and he still shocks me from time to time with his intellectual insights, sigh.

I had somewhat mixed emotions when reading his ad initially and then erred on the side of my own experience.  Who knows?  Maybe we'll see some hot Iranian prince getting married in Iowa soon ;)  keep posting, you are a great farkette.
 
2013-08-30 02:36:08 PM

advres: Molavian: I dunno, a buddy of mine ended up marrying a woman who had posted a similar list of what she was looking for in a guy.  They've been happily married for 15 years because she was up front about what she was looking for and so was he.

They've been married 15 years?  Did she post it to a light pole or something like geocities?


I'm betting it was alt.magic.the.gathering.faq and hers was the only post by a female.
 
2013-08-30 02:36:36 PM

ZeroCorpse: FTFA's comments:

I will admit that I could not make it all of the way to the end of his FAQ's but I will say that this reads as an excellent mansplanation of why he's single and why I'm a happily partnered gay lady.

Seriously? "Mansplanation"?! Are you farking serious? You hate men THAT much, than you have to make up words to insinuate a lack of intelligence based on gender?

What an asshole.

I'm a friend to the LGBT community, but this proves that every group has its bigoted shiatheads.


Hey, Outrage Bro, 'mansplain' is a real word.

/And where did you get that she hated men?
 
2013-08-30 02:47:47 PM
Lets see what my wife says when I tell her I don't want to date anyone with children.
 
2013-08-30 02:50:41 PM
I once created a CL ad in the CE section and I described myself in the most disgusting way I could think of.  I pulled a George Costanza, if you recall that scene in Seinfeld "I'm short, bald, unemployed and I live with my parents"  -girl at counter "Hi!"

Well I went even further, describing myself as obese, greasy, pimply, small penis etc.  Then I went on to spell out what I wanted in a girl.  Someone who would do the most disgusting things some of which are illegal in all 50 states.  I said only young hot girls need respond.

So I get about 100 responses from hookers as does anyone who submits an ad, I got two or three legit women who were really ugly but there was ONE GIRL who was actually really hot and seemed legit.  We exchanged emails for a few days. She had a huge humiliation fetish and was willing to do all the sick twisted things I mentioned in the ad.  I even asked her to verify herself by sending me pictures holding up hand written messages to me in the photo.  Sure enough she did.  Eventually she messaged me that she was about 30 minutes away visiting a friend and wanted to get together and do some of the stuff I mentioned.

Thing is.. I don't actually look like I described and I am not into any of the things I suggested. I am attractive, married andmonogamous   The entire thing was just an experiment I conducted while bored at work one day. I wanted to see if anyone legit would actually respond and I wanted to see how far I could take it.  When it got to the point where I had nowhere else to go in theconversation without meeting up, I had to stop communicating with her.

TLDR:  The thing about needles in a haystack is if you use a high powered magnet like the kind dangling from a crane to pick up cars you will find that needle.

P.S. I still have the photos she sent on my flickr account :)
 
2013-08-30 02:56:28 PM

mpfjr: I once created a CL ad in the CE section and I described myself in the most disgusting way I could think of.  I pulled a George Costanza, if you recall that scene in Seinfeld "I'm short, bald, unemployed and I live with my parents"  -girl at counter "Hi!"


I briefly dated a woman who, as it turned out, was into rape fantasy.  I don't mean the innocent "what are you doing in my bed, handsome stranger?"  She wanted to be punched around, humiliated, hurt, called names, etc.  I walked away.  There's no way I could ever do something like that.
 
2013-08-30 03:02:04 PM

Zombalupagus: [i.imm.io image 630x592]

Artist's conception of what his dream girl would actually look like when reading this ad.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-30 03:06:14 PM

PsiChick: ZeroCorpse: FTFA's comments:

I will admit that I could not make it all of the way to the end of his FAQ's but I will say that this reads as an excellent mansplanation of why he's single and why I'm a happily partnered gay lady.

Seriously? "Mansplanation"?! Are you farking serious? You hate men THAT much, than you have to make up words to insinuate a lack of intelligence based on gender?

What an asshole.

I'm a friend to the LGBT community, but this proves that every group has its bigoted shiatheads.

Hey, Outrage Bro, 'mansplain' is a real word.

/And where did you get that she hated men?


It's presence on Urban Dictionary doesn't make it a "real word," but come on Zero, I know you're on Fark all the time, but if you haven't heard "mansplain" before now, you really haven't been paying attention to the rest of the internet.
 
2013-08-30 03:06:54 PM

100 Watt Walrus: It's Its presence on Urban Dictionary doesn't make it a "real word," but come on Zero, I know you're on Fark all the time, but if you haven't heard "mansplain" before now, you really haven't been paying attention to the rest of the internet.


/godammit
 
2013-08-30 03:12:28 PM

100 Watt Walrus: 100 Watt Walrus: It's Its presence on Urban Dictionary doesn't make it a "real word," but come on Zero, I know you're on Fark all the time, but if you haven't heard "mansplain" before now, you really haven't been paying attention to the rest of the internet.

/godammit


nah.  you're forgiven for the "artist's rendering" just above that.  And it's friday, and almost time to go home.
 
2013-08-30 03:33:03 PM

hailin: Though I thought the comments on the article about how he was a douche for not dating anyone currently pregnant or who had kids was odd. I flat out refused to date anyone with kids because I didn't want to be a stepmom. I don't think that makes anyone an asshole to realize they just don't want to be parents yet and to look for a partner who is childless.


A lot of the Jezebel crowd seems to think that not wanting to date a single mother is somehow disrespectful. Personally, a woman with kids is a SERIOUS cons list item. It's almost a no go. Not quite, but I'll tell you, if I dated a woman who had kids, she better swallow more wang than a Chinese shipwreck. I'm not raising some other guy's kid without some serious compensation.
 
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