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(Jezebel)   Guys, grab a cup of coffee and read what the perfect Craigslist personal ad looks like. Rule #1: Use lots of "quotation" marks. Rule #2: Have an FAQ section   (jezebel.com) divider line 224
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18779 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Aug 2013 at 9:56 AM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



224 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-30 08:51:28 AM
18) Question: Do you have any children? Do you have a wife or ever been married?

Answer: NO.



Hard to believe.
 
2013-08-30 09:09:31 AM
John Fitzgerald Page has met his match.
 
2013-08-30 09:22:15 AM
29.) What's your Fark handle?
 
2013-08-30 09:25:18 AM
30.) Does your mother still iron your underwear?
 
2013-08-30 09:58:31 AM
Somewhere there is a woman who will read that and contact the guy.  She's been dating guys with no jobs and who can't stay out of jail.
 
2013-08-30 09:59:25 AM
Just copy and paste a random passage from Literotica into a Casual Encounters ad and watch the soccer mom emails roll in.
 
2013-08-30 10:02:52 AM

Tom_Slick: Somewhere there is a woman who will read that and contact the guy.  She's been dating guys with no jobs and who can't stay out of jail.


I think we found the guy who posted that ad.
 
2013-08-30 10:03:18 AM
I would have never, NEVER in a million years have guessed that this ad was by a Persian. It's just so out of character from virtually every Persian male I have ever met.
 
2013-08-30 10:03:19 AM
I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian).

Oh man, I bet he's got a sweet BMW E46 M3.
 
hej
2013-08-30 10:04:20 AM
I wonder if he makes his dates sign an arbitration agreement before they start having dinner.
 
2013-08-30 10:06:59 AM
FTFA:
13) Question: I am super cute and have a great body. Are you good enough for me?

Answer: Tell me something about yourself that I or other men cannot $$ PURCHASE $$ for a few dollars off the street and you will have my attention.


OK, I'll admit it:  I started liking this guy at this point.
 
2013-08-30 10:07:13 AM
Doesn't he have to be at the gym soon?
 
2013-08-30 10:08:22 AM
The dude loves "quotation" marks.
 
2013-08-30 10:08:52 AM

tricycleracer: I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian).

Oh man, I bet he's got a sweet BMW E46 M3.


In white. It's always white.
 
2013-08-30 10:09:11 AM
<I>John Fitzgerald Page has met his match.Doesn't he have to be at the gym soon?</I>

This.
 
2013-08-30 10:09:19 AM

sno man: 29.) What's your Fark handle?


I'm more thinking reddit
 
2013-08-30 10:09:26 AM
I bet his inbox is blowing up.

/seriously
 
2013-08-30 10:09:52 AM

bigskank: I would have never, NEVER in a million years have guessed that this ad was by a Persian. It's just so out of character from virtually every Persian male I have ever met.


Ha!

Nice one!
 
2013-08-30 10:11:03 AM

Archae hippy: The dude loves "quotation" marks.


Came to say this.
My favorite was:
4) Question: I'm not in California. I currently live in Dallas, Texas. Is that OK?

Answer: No. If you live "outside" of Southern California it will be very difficult or impossible for a real friendship or relationship requiring an "airplane" for traveling and meeting.

Is he trying to say those flying things people use for travel are not airplanes?
All this time, I've been living a lie...
 
2013-08-30 10:11:46 AM
There's something fishy about the fact that he wants all of this personal information about his potential partners, plus pics and then he'll maybe disclose some info, if the chick is "worthy"? Sounds like he either wants to steal identities or wants to fill his spank bank.
 
2013-08-30 10:12:39 AM

Cybernetic: tricycleracer: I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian).

Oh man, I bet he's got a sweet BMW E46 M3.

In white. It's always white.


Nah. I'm thinking forest green with a beige leather interior.
 
2013-08-30 10:13:01 AM

Freudian_slipknot: Tom_Slick: Somewhere there is a woman who will read that and contact the guy.  She's been dating guys with no jobs and who can't stay out of jail.

I think we found the guy who posted that ad.


Nope, I'm lazy that ad took too much time to create.
 
2013-08-30 10:13:06 AM
Is this an example of what you call a "douchebag"?
 
2013-08-30 10:13:20 AM

Cybernetic: tricycleracer: I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian).

Oh man, I bet he's got a sweet BMW E46 M3.

In white. It's always white.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZrrTUsccjE
 
2013-08-30 10:13:27 AM

cookiefleck: There's something fishy about the fact that he wants all of this personal information about his potential partners, plus pics and then he'll maybe disclose some info, if the chick is "worthy"? Sounds like he either wants to steal identities or wants to fill his spank bank.


I knew a guy once in college that would sign up for internet dating sites use a fake guy pic to get girl pics and then use those girl pics to get even more guy pics nudes which he would then sell to amateur porn sites.
 
2013-08-30 10:13:41 AM

INeedAName: Cybernetic: tricycleracer: I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian).

Oh man, I bet he's got a sweet BMW E46 M3.

In white. It's always white.

Nah. I'm thinking forest green with a beige leather interior.


P-Magnet Yellow
 
2013-08-30 10:14:04 AM
I so dearly hope that everything on that FAQ list came from a compilation of his actual experiences, and that he wasn't just sitting there thinking up scenarios for reasons why women might have some kind of issue with his ad or with him.

Especially the one that reads, "I don't date men off the internet." and then he says "So why are you on the internet reading this?!"

How sad would it be if that had never actually happened to him, and he just visualized it as a reason why a woman might not pass his test.

I guess what I'm saying is, there's no way any of that has ever actually come up, and he just spent 3 hours making it all up in his had and writing it down to justify his insane expectations. How extraordinary.
 
2013-08-30 10:14:37 AM
I thought the local "place of worship" was the place for demanding guys to obedient women?
 
2013-08-30 10:15:21 AM
Pic of guy who placed ad:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-08-30 10:17:09 AM

tricycleracer: I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian).

Oh man, I bet he's got a sweet BMW E46 M3.


and one of those sweet portable RPG's...
 
2013-08-30 10:17:37 AM

Galactica Actual: I so dearly hope that everything on that FAQ list came from a compilation of his actual experiences, and that he wasn't just sitting there thinking up scenarios for reasons why women might have some kind of issue with his ad or with him.

Especially the one that reads, "I don't date men off the internet." and then he says "So why are you on the internet reading this?!"

How sad would it be if that had never actually happened to him, and he just visualized it as a reason why a woman might not pass his test.

I guess what I'm saying is, there's no way any of that has ever actually come up, and he just spent 3 hours making it all up in his had and writing it down to justify his insane expectations. How extraordinary.


I'm 100% sure the FAQ' s are things he plucked from the sky and none of those things ever happened to him.
 
2013-08-30 10:18:28 AM

Inflatable Rhetoric: Doesn't he have to be at the gym soon?


In 26 minutes.
 
2013-08-30 10:18:59 AM
The author seems to have a large fanbase.
 
2013-08-30 10:19:23 AM
IdBeCrazyIf:
I knew a guy once in college that would sign up for internet dating sites use a fake guy pic to get girl pics and then use those girl pics to get even more guy pics nudes which he would then sell to amateur porn sites.

"I knew a guy once" huh?  Yeah, I bet your the reason why my giant wang is on image fap.

/Giant.
//No, you can't check.
///because f*ck you, that's why.
 
2013-08-30 10:20:11 AM
So I will guess no "pregnant" Jews?
 
2013-08-30 10:20:57 AM
The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.
 
2013-08-30 10:21:01 AM
Q) Why do you ask yourself questions?

a) Good Question. You're obviously a smart individual.
 
2013-08-30 10:21:14 AM
Ha this guy sounds like a gem. Why are you all hating on every girls fantasy?

Though I thought the comments on the article about how he was a douche for not dating anyone currently pregnant or who had kids was odd. I flat out refused to date anyone with kids because I didn't want to be a stepmom. I don't think that makes anyone an asshole to realize they just don't want to be parents yet and to look for a partner who is childless.
 
2013-08-30 10:21:31 AM
Why's the article hating on the fact he doesn't want to date a pregnant woman or a woman who already has children?  It seems like an honest admission, but they refer to it as 'not respecting' those women.

Oh, wait.  It's Jezebel writing about a man.  Never mind.
 
2013-08-30 10:21:39 AM

bigskank: I would have never, NEVER in a million years have guessed that this ad was by a Persian. It's just so out of character from virtually every Persian male I have ever met.


I'm a hetero dude and can confirm this... About a thousand times over.
 
2013-08-30 10:22:08 AM

tricycleracer: I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian).

Oh man, I bet he's got a sweet BMW E46 M3.


I found a screen cap of the guy. Not a BMW but close enough I guess.

www.gtspirit.com
 
2013-08-30 10:22:12 AM

Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.


Sounds middle eastern.
 
2013-08-30 10:22:25 AM

Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.


Or maybe one that doesn't have a sh*tload of baggage.
 
2013-08-30 10:22:37 AM

Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.


Yeah.  Persian.
 
2013-08-30 10:22:52 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: sno man: 29.) What's your Fark handle?

I'm more thinking reddit


ha, actually had that typed, and baled for the lower fruit.
 
2013-08-30 10:23:51 AM
Not trolling.. I don't see that this guy is such a horrible person?

He's pretty uptight about his criteria, and uses quotation marks like a mofo, but he spells well enough, which is better than 80% of the folks on Craigslist personal ads.

But he's just particular about the kind of woman he wants to meet, and it doesn't sound like the kind is anything crazy-impossible to be, either.. he wants to meet a smart, nice woman who's serious about finding a life partner.

I think what he's asking for are pretty much the things many guys look for in a woman, they just don't lay it all out explicitly.  But why waste your time when you know what you're looking for?

I dunno... I think he's fine.  Uptight, but I know lots of uptight guys who have wives/husbands and are very happy.

Is there something super-objectionable about him?  Or is it just the deliberate way he's doing it, and the quotation marks?
 
2013-08-30 10:24:08 AM
This guy makes me feel all stabby.
 
2013-08-30 10:24:21 AM

mike_d85: Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.

Yeah.  Persian.


Every ethnic group has the those types.  So, not going to judge, but I 'will' say that the whole 'ad' reeks of "You're going to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week trying and failing to live up to my expectations.  And you'll be humiliated and possibly beaten for that failing, culminating in rough sex that you may or may not enjoy."
 
2013-08-30 10:24:23 AM
I dunno, a buddy of mine ended up marrying a woman who had posted a similar list of what she was looking for in a guy.  They've been happily married for 15 years because she was up front about what she was looking for and so was he.
 
2013-08-30 10:27:06 AM

BlueDuckFarker: Is there something super-objectionable about him?


If you've ever wondered how to tell if a guy beats his wife, this article is an example of that kind of guy.
 
2013-08-30 10:27:23 AM
'I have my own house (not apartment)..."

Now there's a basement/crawlspace that needs checking.
 
2013-08-30 10:27:57 AM
And let's all watch as the jezzies ignore their apartment full of cats for an hour or two to rip this guy to shreds.
 
2013-08-30 10:28:23 AM
It's more like it reads like he would prefer a "pay for play" rather than an honest relationship. Everything has to do with reciprocation, if he deems you worthy enough. Plus he sounds super controlling.
 
2013-08-30 10:28:41 AM
"an FAQ"?  Who the hell says "F-A-Q" and not "fack"?
 
2013-08-30 10:28:45 AM
10) Question ("Comment"): You sound or seem rude, aggressive, controlling or cocky. Just like my asshole ex-boyfriend or husband.

Answer: And you sound ignorant just like my XXXXX ex-girlfriend.

LOL
 
2013-08-30 10:29:38 AM
Is he hot?


I totally want to get my face punched in by this fine specimen!
 
2013-08-30 10:30:42 AM

Infernalist: mike_d85: Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.

Yeah.  Persian.

Every ethnic group has the those types.  So, not going to judge, but I 'will' say that the whole 'ad' reeks of "You're going to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week trying and failing to live up to my expectations.  And you'll be humiliated and possibly beaten for that failing, culminating in rough sex that you may or may not enjoy."


The "ad" reeks of the phrase "Hey Steve, you got the email to that feminazi writer you know?  You know what would be hilarious?" followed by an hour of coming up with stuff to put in the ad.  The middle-eastern descent was just something someone threw in for the racist hilarity.
 
2013-08-30 10:30:48 AM
Well, if he's looking to start a family, the age thing makes sense because you want some still relatively fertile for a wife. Plus, the no pregnant women thing is pretty valid in that case, too. Who wants to spend their time and money raising someone other guy's kid?
 
2013-08-30 10:31:54 AM
He also seems like the type after you've gone through all his hoops, that if it turned out YOU weren't interested in him, he would get all stalky fedora on you.
 
2013-08-30 10:31:56 AM

mike_d85: Infernalist: mike_d85: Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.

Yeah.  Persian.

Every ethnic group has the those types.  So, not going to judge, but I 'will' say that the whole 'ad' reeks of "You're going to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week trying and failing to live up to my expectations.  And you'll be humiliated and possibly beaten for that failing, culminating in rough sex that you may or may not enjoy."

The "ad" reeks of the phrase "Hey Steve, you got the email to that feminazi writer you know?  You know what would be hilarious?" followed by an hour of coming up with stuff to put in the ad.  The middle-eastern descent was just something someone threw in for the racist hilarity.


I would actually prefer this to be reality over the possibility that a guy like this actually exists out there.  Less chance of some naive girl ending up married to this guy and getting beaten for the next 30 years of her life.
 
2013-08-30 10:33:27 AM

Infernalist: Less chance of some naive girl ending up married to this guy and getting beaten for the next 30 years of her life.


Read the height/piercing/tattoo question.  I bet he's about 5'4".  He'll be the one getting beaten.
 
2013-08-30 10:33:54 AM
I sorta skimmed but this made me laugh:

16) Question: I like to be "spoiled" and I want to know how much you are going to spend on me. How much?

Answer: You sound like a gold-digger or prostitute. My headline says "Gentleman" or "Professional" it doesn't say $ATM$ Machine. If you are looking for an ATM Machine to finance and "spoil" yourself look somewhere else.
 
2013-08-30 10:34:57 AM

The Muthaship: Infernalist: Less chance of some naive girl ending up married to this guy and getting beaten for the next 30 years of her life.

Read the height/piercing/tattoo question.  I bet he's about 5'4".  He'll be the one getting beaten.


Not by the type of woman that he'd snare with that ad.  Any woman willing to go out with 'that' guy already lacks any sense of self-esteem and fighting instincts.
 
2013-08-30 10:35:21 AM

BlueDuckFarker: Not trolling.. I don't see that this guy is such a horrible person?

He's pretty uptight about his criteria, and uses quotation marks like a mofo, but he spells well enough, which is better than 80% of the folks on Craigslist personal ads.

But he's just particular about the kind of woman he wants to meet, and it doesn't sound like the kind is anything crazy-impossible to be, either.. he wants to meet a smart, nice woman who's serious about finding a life partner.

I think what he's asking for are pretty much the things many guys look for in a woman, they just don't lay it all out explicitly.  But why waste your time when you know what you're looking for?

I dunno... I think he's fine.  Uptight, but I know lots of uptight guys who have wives/husbands and are very happy.

Is there something super-objectionable about him?  Or is it just the deliberate way he's doing it, and the quotation marks?


Is this just standard contrarian attention seeking or do you actually believe that?
 
2013-08-30 10:36:29 AM

mike_d85: Yeah.  Persian.


Sold my first ex-wife to a Persian.
Never heard from her again.
 
2013-08-30 10:36:36 AM

Infernalist: Not by the type of woman that he'd snare with that ad.  Any woman willing to go out with 'that' guy already lacks any sense of self-esteem and fighting instincts.


Please cease and desist from destroying my hopes in this matter.

Thank you.
 
2013-08-30 10:36:37 AM

bigskank: I would have never, NEVER in a million years have guessed that this ad was by a Persian. It's just so out of character from virtually every Persian male I have ever met.

bp3.blogger.com
 
2013-08-30 10:36:57 AM

ChaosStar: Archae hippy: The dude loves "quotation" marks.

Came to say this.
My favorite was:
4) Question: I'm not in California. I currently live in Dallas, Texas. Is that OK?

Answer: No. If you live "outside" of Southern California it will be very difficult or impossible for a real friendship or relationship requiring an "airplane" for traveling and meeting.

Is he trying to say those flying things people use for travel are not airplanes?
All this time, I've been living a lie...


How is "currently living in Dallas" different from "living in Dallas" ??
 
2013-08-30 10:36:59 AM
Really hoping someone poses as a potential suitor and emails him and then posts the exchange here.
 
2013-08-30 10:37:51 AM
Does he look like this then?

historeviews.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-08-30 10:38:19 AM

Inflatable Rhetoric: ChaosStar: Archae hippy: The dude loves "quotation" marks.

Came to say this.
My favorite was:
4) Question: I'm not in California. I currently live in Dallas, Texas. Is that OK?

Answer: No. If you live "outside" of Southern California it will be very difficult or impossible for a real friendship or relationship requiring an "airplane" for traveling and meeting.

Is he trying to say those flying things people use for travel are not airplanes?
All this time, I've been living a lie...

How is "currently living in Dallas" different from "living in Dallas" ??


The Muthaship: Infernalist: Not by the type of woman that he'd snare with that ad.  Any woman willing to go out with 'that' guy already lacks any sense of self-esteem and fighting instincts.

Please cease and desist from destroying my hopes in this matter.

Thank you.


Sorry, old habit, I used to be married.
 
2013-08-30 10:38:56 AM
Does anyone remember the old internet classic, Mary Romantic?

These two should get together.

http://web.archive.org/web/20020213042919/http://www.maryromantic.co m/ index.htm
 
2013-08-30 10:39:03 AM

ChaosStar: Archae hippy: The dude loves "quotation" marks.

Came to say this.
My favorite was:
4) Question: I'm not in California. I currently live in Dallas, Texas. Is that OK?

Answer: No. If you live "outside" of Southern California it will be very difficult or impossible for a real friendship or relationship requiring an "airplane" for traveling and meeting.

Is he trying to say those flying things people use for travel are not airplanes?
All this time, I've been living a lie...


He's Persian. Flying carpets are okay.
 
2013-08-30 10:39:38 AM
He seems to think very highly of himself, but from a pragmatic standpoint, he knows what he is looking for and maybe, just maybe he'll find it. There's no use being unhappy, even if you are a very demanding and exacting person.

There's a lid for every pot.
 
2013-08-30 10:40:46 AM

The Muthaship: Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.

Or maybe one that doesn't have a sh*tload of baggage.


Good luck with that.  Didn't read the whole FA (gym 26 etc.), but that was probably the funniest thing I'll probably read, all day.

/are we sure it's not a spoof?
 
2013-08-30 10:40:54 AM

BlueDuckFarker: Not trolling.. I don't see that this guy is such a horrible person?

He's pretty uptight about his criteria, and uses quotation marks like a mofo, but he spells well enough, which is better than 80% of the folks on Craigslist personal ads.

But he's just particular about the kind of woman he wants to meet, and it doesn't sound like the kind is anything crazy-impossible to be, either.. he wants to meet a smart, nice woman who's serious about finding a life partner.

I think what he's asking for are pretty much the things many guys look for in a woman, they just don't lay it all out explicitly.  But why waste your time when you know what you're looking for?

I dunno... I think he's fine.  Uptight, but I know lots of uptight guys who have wives/husbands and are very happy.

Is there something super-objectionable about him?  Or is it just the deliberate way he's doing it, and the quotation marks?


People are just upset because it is normally the woman's role to be impossibly choosy. He's screwing up the game by having a standard higher than 'DTF', and it is frightening to some women that they may actually need to have more depth to their character to attract a man in the modern age. Ain't equality a biatch?
 
2013-08-30 10:42:42 AM
Looks like John Fitzgerald Page has finally met his match.
 
2013-08-30 10:43:03 AM

Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.


Nothing gets past you, huh? :)
 
2013-08-30 10:43:15 AM
Sounds like he's going to attract the type of women he deserves.
 
2013-08-30 10:45:05 AM

fiddlehead: Sounds like he's going to attract the type of women he deserves.


Someone with some very old fashioned values? That isn't a terrible thing, it's just not what most people are looking for.
 
2013-08-30 10:45:31 AM

MagicPlasticTreeFrog: BlueDuckFarker: Not trolling.. I don't see that this guy is such a horrible person?

He's pretty uptight about his criteria, and uses quotation marks like a mofo, but he spells well enough, which is better than 80% of the folks on Craigslist personal ads.

But he's just particular about the kind of woman he wants to meet, and it doesn't sound like the kind is anything crazy-impossible to be, either.. he wants to meet a smart, nice woman who's serious about finding a life partner.

I think what he's asking for are pretty much the things many guys look for in a woman, they just don't lay it all out explicitly.  But why waste your time when you know what you're looking for?

I dunno... I think he's fine.  Uptight, but I know lots of uptight guys who have wives/husbands and are very happy.

Is there something super-objectionable about him?  Or is it just the deliberate way he's doing it, and the quotation marks?

People are just upset because it is normally the woman's role to be impossibly choosy. He's screwing up the game by having a standard higher than 'DTF', and it is frightening to some women that they may actually need to have more depth to their character to attract a man in the modern age. Ain't equality a biatch?


Nope, lol, and you sound insecure.

His ad is basically a flashing neon-green sign that screams "I have self-esteem issues due to my height and/or penis size and should you choose to get connected to me, you WILL pay the price for that.  Hell, I can't even get through this ad without belittling those who might sincerely respond.  Should we end up in a relationship, you will suffer for that mistake, but I'm rich and old and might die soon, so rolls your dice and takes your chances, doormats."
 
2013-08-30 10:46:03 AM
This guy sounds like a "keeper".

His "inbox" is probably "overflowing" with "serious" women who "want" to be "bossed" around.

Q: What about women with "sharp" knees?
A: He would "Hit That".
 
2013-08-30 10:46:16 AM

RickN99: Why's the article hating on the fact he doesn't want to date a pregnant woman or a woman who already has children?  It seems like an honest admission, but they refer to it as 'not respecting' those women.

Oh, wait.  It's Jezebel writing about a man.  Never mind.


Because the single scene is so overwhelmed with pregnant woman.
 
2013-08-30 10:46:43 AM
I was actually hugely relieved to read this and all the comments.  I had thought I was the only person who felt this way about persian (or whatever the hell steretype fits the bill) douchebags.  But being a decent person I have kept those thoughts to myself rather than be a bigot, at least now I know it's not just me that finds them appalling. (I told my sister that if she dated a middle eastern guy like this and he took her to his country to live that horrible life, I would not come over and save her ass.  The truth is I would come get her and enjoy kicking his ass into dust.)
 
2013-08-30 10:47:13 AM

Infernalist: MagicPlasticTreeFrog: BlueDuckFarker: Not trolling.. I don't see that this guy is such a horrible person?

He's pretty uptight about his criteria, and uses quotation marks like a mofo, but he spells well enough, which is better than 80% of the folks on Craigslist personal ads.

But he's just particular about the kind of woman he wants to meet, and it doesn't sound like the kind is anything crazy-impossible to be, either.. he wants to meet a smart, nice woman who's serious about finding a life partner.

I think what he's asking for are pretty much the things many guys look for in a woman, they just don't lay it all out explicitly.  But why waste your time when you know what you're looking for?

I dunno... I think he's fine.  Uptight, but I know lots of uptight guys who have wives/husbands and are very happy.

Is there something super-objectionable about him?  Or is it just the deliberate way he's doing it, and the quotation marks?

People are just upset because it is normally the woman's role to be impossibly choosy. He's screwing up the game by having a standard higher than 'DTF', and it is frightening to some women that they may actually need to have more depth to their character to attract a man in the modern age. Ain't equality a biatch?

Nope, lol, and you sound insecure.

His ad is basically a flashing neon-green sign that screams "I have self-esteem issues due to my height and/or penis size and should you choose to get connected to me, you WILL pay the price for that.  Hell, I can't even get through this ad without belittling those who might sincerely respond.  Should we end up in a relationship, you will suffer for that mistake, but I'm rich and old and might die soon, so rolls your dice and takes your chances, doormats."


And you're implying HE is judgemental? Sheesh. He's obtuse and demanding, not a serial killer.
 
2013-08-30 10:47:21 AM

cookiefleck: He also seems like the type after you've gone through all his hoops, that if it turned out YOU weren't interested in him, he would get all stalky fedora on you.


lol at "stalky fedora"

/is that his Fark handle?
 
2013-08-30 10:47:47 AM

cookiefleck: It's more like it reads like he would prefer a "pay for play" rather than an honest relationship. Everything has to do with reciprocation, if he deems you worthy enough.


Yeah, what really put me off his schtick was that he wasn't willing to take the first step. It's fine if you have a crazy list of demands for a potential partner, but you've got to be the one taking the first step. None of this "I get to judge your worthiness" crap. My sister and her hubby go so far as to have a relationship contract and a marriage mission statement that helps them resolve conflict, but it's a willing thing by both parties, and despite the names they're both more a mutual statement of values.

Can you imagine what a breakup with this guy is like? "Sorry honey, but I have concluded that we're breaking up pursuant to requirement #7 subsection 2 part A. You failed to demonstrate emotional maturity."
 
2013-08-30 10:48:06 AM

R.A.Danny: fiddlehead: Sounds like he's going to attract the type of women he deserves.

Someone with some very old fashioned values? That isn't a terrible thing, it's just not what most people are looking for.


OK this is farking priceless. I love fark for the fact that you can always find someone who will defend the indefensible.
 
2013-08-30 10:48:57 AM

R.A.Danny: Infernalist: MagicPlasticTreeFrog: BlueDuckFarker: Not trolling.. I don't see that this guy is such a horrible person?

He's pretty uptight about his criteria, and uses quotation marks like a mofo, but he spells well enough, which is better than 80% of the folks on Craigslist personal ads.

But he's just particular about the kind of woman he wants to meet, and it doesn't sound like the kind is anything crazy-impossible to be, either.. he wants to meet a smart, nice woman who's serious about finding a life partner.

I think what he's asking for are pretty much the things many guys look for in a woman, they just don't lay it all out explicitly.  But why waste your time when you know what you're looking for?

I dunno... I think he's fine.  Uptight, but I know lots of uptight guys who have wives/husbands and are very happy.

Is there something super-objectionable about him?  Or is it just the deliberate way he's doing it, and the quotation marks?

People are just upset because it is normally the woman's role to be impossibly choosy. He's screwing up the game by having a standard higher than 'DTF', and it is frightening to some women that they may actually need to have more depth to their character to attract a man in the modern age. Ain't equality a biatch?

Nope, lol, and you sound insecure.

His ad is basically a flashing neon-green sign that screams "I have self-esteem issues due to my height and/or penis size and should you choose to get connected to me, you WILL pay the price for that.  Hell, I can't even get through this ad without belittling those who might sincerely respond.  Should we end up in a relationship, you will suffer for that mistake, but I'm rich and old and might die soon, so rolls your dice and takes your chances, doormats."

And you're implying HE is judgemental? Sheesh. He's obtuse and demanding, not a serial killer.


Nope, not a killer.  Probably.  Emotional abuse coupled with possible physical abuse?  Oh definitely.  Without a doubt.
 
2013-08-30 10:50:08 AM

Tigger: R.A.Danny: fiddlehead: Sounds like he's going to attract the type of women he deserves.

Someone with some very old fashioned values? That isn't a terrible thing, it's just not what most people are looking for.

OK this is farking priceless. I love fark for the fact that you can always find someone who will defend the indefensible.


Who is he harming? If you wrote out an ad and really worked on attracting the perfect mate you would most likely look like a douchebag too. Don't spend a minute trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole.
 
2013-08-30 10:53:04 AM
"I'm from Persia/Iran."
www.mbird.com
 
2013-08-30 10:53:14 AM

ChaosStar: Answer: No. If you live "outside" of Southern California it will be very difficult or impossible for a real friendship or relationship requiring an "airplane" for traveling and meeting.

Is he trying to say those flying things people use for travel are not airplanes?
All this time, I've been living a lie...


i guess someone could take a train from Dallas to SoCal.  Yeah, that one jumped out at me too.

I am still 40% believing this is fake.  I would prefer it is fake to the alternative of having a guy like this out there.

And yes, I do think if this guy is real, he would beat his wife.
 
2013-08-30 10:53:37 AM

Fubini: cookiefleck: It's more like it reads like he would prefer a "pay for play" rather than an honest relationship. Everything has to do with reciprocation, if he deems you worthy enough.

Yeah, what really put me off his schtick was that he wasn't willing to take the first step. It's fine if you have a crazy list of demands for a potential partner, but you've got to be the one taking the first step. None of this "I get to judge your worthiness" crap. My sister and her hubby go so far as to have a relationship contract and a marriage mission statement that helps them resolve conflict, but it's a willing thing by both parties, and despite the names they're both more a mutual statement of values.

Can you imagine what a breakup with this guy is like? "Sorry honey, but I have concluded that we're breaking up pursuant to requirement #7 subsection 2 part A. You failed to demonstrate emotional maturity."


*zip* Now tell me about the appendixes you're filing with your complaint.
 
2013-08-30 10:54:05 AM

SlothB77: RickN99: Why's the article hating on the fact he doesn't want to date a pregnant woman or a woman who already has children?  It seems like an honest admission, but they refer to it as 'not respecting' those women.

Oh, wait.  It's Jezebel writing about a man.  Never mind.

Because the single scene is so overwhelmed with pregnant woman.


I believe single moms have been known to date and there are lots of them.  He's not interested in kids and is up-front about it.  What's 'disrespectful' about that?
 
2013-08-30 10:54:13 AM

R.A.Danny: fiddlehead: Sounds like he's going to attract the type of women he deserves.

Someone with some very old fashioned values? That isn't a terrible thing, it's just not what most people are looking for.


He's not old-fashioned, he has a huge chip on his shoulder when it comes to women. Sane women won't have anything to do with guys like him.

Also, his comment about how girls reach puberty at age 9-10 is a huge warning flag.

/Wouldn't surprise me if the whole thing was fake, though.
 
2013-08-30 10:55:06 AM
Corn will also be served.
 
2013-08-30 10:55:55 AM

fiddlehead: Sane women won't have anything to do with guys like him.


Crazy is awesome.

fiddlehead: Also, his comment about how girls reach puberty at age 9-10 is a huge warning flag.


That IS pretty creepy. I was just trying to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.
 
2013-08-30 10:56:01 AM

Tigger: R.A.Danny: fiddlehead: Sounds like he's going to attract the type of women he deserves.

Someone with some very old fashioned values? That isn't a terrible thing, it's just not what most people are looking for.

OK this is farking priceless. I love fark for the fact that you can always find someone who will defend the indefensible.


Defend the indefensible?  The guy didn't drive a bus full of kittens over a cliff - he wrote an unattractive internet dating ad.
 
2013-08-30 10:58:50 AM

R.A.Danny: Who is he harming? If you wrote out an ad and really worked on attracting the perfect mate you would most likely look like a douchebag too. Don't spend a minute trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole.


The key there is "attracting"

There is nothing attractive about this ad, because he's fishing with an unbaited hook.

He wants the perfect mate?  Grand.  So do many women.  But there is literally nothing in this ad about why he'd be perfect for ANYONE.  He's demanding and yet has shown nothing that would make him worthy of being demanding.  There's absolutely nothing about what he looks like (which is kinda farking important in dating) and nothing showing that he has anything that would overcome a lack of looks.  He says he has a job, but made it clear that none of that money would be spent on a significant other, so money isn't a selling point.  That leaves personality, and the ad makes it clear he lacks that too.  Hell, it doesn't even bother to describe any hobbies he might have so he might at least have SOMETHING in common with another human.

So you can be demanding, sure.  But when you're demanding but have nothing to offer in return?  You're a toddler throwing a hissy fit because you want candy.
 
2013-08-30 11:01:27 AM

bigskank: I would have never, NEVER in a million years have guessed that this ad was by a Persian. It's just so out of character from virtually every Persian male I have ever met.


Sadly, this was the first thing I thought. And KEE_RIST, the women are just as bad.
 
2013-08-30 11:01:47 AM
I think it was a joke. If not, need to know the Reddit ID of this monkey.
 
2013-08-30 11:02:06 AM
What a dick.
 
2013-08-30 11:02:07 AM
He seems like an "intelligent" person. A "man" that "understands" women, and also "knows" that quotation marks "never" denote sarcasm. Which is why I'd be "happy" if this "man" were to "date" my "sister."
 
2013-08-30 11:03:28 AM

Infernalist: mike_d85: Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.

Yeah.  Persian.

Every ethnic group has the those types.   So, not going to judge, but I 'will' say that the whole 'ad' reeks of "You're going to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week trying and failing to live up to my expectations.  And you'll be humiliated and possibly beaten for that failing, culminating in rough sex that you may or may not enjoy."


InigoMontoya.gif
 
2013-08-30 11:03:44 AM
Ahh yes, Jezebel. Full of 300 lb sea mammald with 40 cats who demand their guy look like Brad Pitt and any criticism of her is the work of a sexist patriarch pig
 
2013-08-30 11:05:03 AM
What an "asshole".
 
2013-08-30 11:05:19 AM

mike_d85: OK, I'll admit it: I started liking this guy at this point.


He's great at making straw man arguments, I will give him that.
 
2013-08-30 11:06:04 AM

Carousel Beast: Infernalist: mike_d85: Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.

Yeah.  Persian.

Every ethnic group has the those types.   So, not going to judge, but I 'will' say that the whole 'ad' reeks of "You're going to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week trying and failing to live up to my expectations.  And you'll be humiliated and possibly beaten for that failing, culminating in rough sex that you may or may not enjoy."

InigoMontoya.gif


Oh, I'll judge a person by his actions, but I won't prejudge an ethnic group based on the actions of one man.

The first is kinda dick-ish.  The second one is being bigoted and racist.  I'll cop to the first, thank you.
 
2013-08-30 11:06:14 AM
Good points have been made in this thread about why public opinion is against intervening, even though the case is stronger against Syria than Iraq.

One thing overlooked is Saddam.  While as far as I can tell, he wasn't doing much to warrant our going into Iraq (other than generally just being a bad guy,) he was a very visible dictator who we had fought in the past, and was widely known as a villain all over America.

What percent of the country knows who Assad is?  It's gotta be a much, MUCH lower percentage than those who knew who Saddam was.
 
2013-08-30 11:06:44 AM

ferretman: "I'm from Persia/Iran."
[www.mbird.com image 591x883]


I've seen this picture a few times and just realized his shoes are more douchey than his face.

bigskank: I would have never, NEVER in a million years have guessed that this ad was by a Persian. It's just so out of character from virtually every Persian male I have ever met.


You too!? He was NOTHING like the two I had to teach last spring.
 
2013-08-30 11:07:56 AM

Fubini: cookiefleck: It's more like it reads like he would prefer a "pay for play" rather than an honest relationship. Everything has to do with reciprocation, if he deems you worthy enough.

Yeah, what really put me off his schtick was that he wasn't willing to take the first step. It's fine if you have a crazy list of demands for a potential partner, but you've got to be the one taking the first step. None of this "I get to judge your worthiness" crap. My sister and her hubby go so far as to have a relationship contract and a marriage mission statement that helps them resolve conflict, but it's a willing thing by both parties, and despite the names they're both more a mutual statement of values.

Can you imagine what a breakup with this guy is like? "Sorry honey, but I have concluded that we're breaking up pursuant to requirement #7 subsection 2 part A. You failed to demonstrate emotional maturity."


content9.flixster.com

/was young and reckless
//technically correct, the best kind of correct
 
2013-08-30 11:08:10 AM

Dafatone: Good points have been made in this thread about why public opinion is against intervening, even though the case is stronger against Syria than Iraq.

One thing overlooked is Saddam.  While as far as I can tell, he wasn't doing much to warrant our going into Iraq (other than generally just being a bad guy,) he was a very visible dictator who we had fought in the past, and was widely known as a villain all over America.

What percent of the country knows who Assad is?  It's gotta be a much, MUCH lower percentage than those who knew who Saddam was.


heh. It's nuanced, I like it.
 
2013-08-30 11:08:31 AM
double post fail
 
2013-08-30 11:10:45 AM

Dafatone: Good points have been made in this thread about why public opinion is against intervening, even though the case is stronger against Syria than Iraq.


Are you suggesting that Assad is an incredibly picky date? But he doesn't even live in Los Angeles!
 
2013-08-30 11:11:10 AM

bigskank: I would have never, NEVER in a million years have guessed that this ad was by a Persian. It's just so out of character from virtually every Persian male I have ever met.


That's funny, as soon as I started reading it, the FIRST thing I guessed was Persian.
 
2013-08-30 11:11:44 AM

R.A.Danny: fiddlehead: Sane women won't have anything to do with guys like him.

Crazy is awesome.


I dunno if it's worth it though. I've seen men date crazy women for the crazy sex and then they turn into bitter women-haters when said crazy woman gets pregnant or takes all his money or lights his car on fire. And then they're condemned to shiatty relationships for the rest of their lives because rational women don't like bitter women-haters.
 
Skr
2013-08-30 11:13:43 AM
39volunteers.files.wordpress.com
for a "good time"
 
2013-08-30 11:14:00 AM

Infernalist: MagicPlasticTreeFrog: BlueDuckFarker: Not trolling.. I don't see that this guy is such a horrible person?

He's pretty uptight about his criteria, and uses quotation marks like a mofo, but he spells well enough, which is better than 80% of the folks on Craigslist personal ads.

But he's just particular about the kind of woman he wants to meet, and it doesn't sound like the kind is anything crazy-impossible to be, either.. he wants to meet a smart, nice woman who's serious about finding a life partner.

I think what he's asking for are pretty much the things many guys look for in a woman, they just don't lay it all out explicitly.  But why waste your time when you know what you're looking for?

I dunno... I think he's fine.  Uptight, but I know lots of uptight guys who have wives/husbands and are very happy.

Is there something super-objectionable about him?  Or is it just the deliberate way he's doing it, and the quotation marks?

People are just upset because it is normally the woman's role to be impossibly choosy. He's screwing up the game by having a standard higher than 'DTF', and it is frightening to some women that they may actually need to have more depth to their character to attract a man in the modern age. Ain't equality a biatch?

Nope, lol, and you sound insecure.

His ad is basically a flashing neon-green sign that screams "I have self-esteem issues due to my height and/or penis size and should you choose to get connected to me, you WILL pay the price for that.  Hell, I can't even get through this ad without belittling those who might sincerely respond.  Should we end up in a relationship, you will suffer for that mistake, but I'm rich and old and might die soon, so rolls your dice and takes your chances, doormats."


If you have the time, read a couple dozen craigslist ads written by women looking for men. They mostly read like this guy, except without the ludicrous use of quotation marks and FAQ.
 
2013-08-30 11:19:00 AM

Molavian: I dunno, a buddy of mine ended up marrying a woman who had posted a similar list of what she was looking for in a guy.  They've been happily married for 15 years because she was up front about what she was looking for and so was he.


They've been married 15 years?  Did she post it to a light pole or something like geocities?
 
hej
2013-08-30 11:19:54 AM

mrshowrules: Pic of guy who placed ad:


img.fark.net


This needs to be worked into that sharp knees meme.
/I'm useless with Photoshop or I'd do it myself.
 
2013-08-30 11:20:09 AM

R.A.Danny: He seems to think very highly of himself, but from a pragmatic standpoint, he knows what he is looking for and maybe, just maybe he'll find it. There's no use being unhappy, even if you are a very demanding and exacting person.

There's a lid for every pot.


But he wants his lid to be foil so he can mold it to fit over whatever kooky kind of pot he is.
/also he said $ATM$ machine.....I'll add in another "machine" to that because three is a lucky number. Hey, with quotes, just like him!
 
2013-08-30 11:20:20 AM

mike_d85: FTFA:
13) Question: I am super cute and have a great body. Are you good enough for me?

Answer: Tell me something about yourself that I or other men cannot $$ PURCHASE $$ for a few dollars off the street and you will have my attention.

OK, I'll admit it:  I started liking this guy at this point.


That was my exact reaction as well when I read that part. Sure, he's an arrogant bastard, but he DOES have a point.
 
2013-08-30 11:20:30 AM

Tigger: Is this just standard contrarian attention seeking or do you actually believe that?


   How come posting a snarky or raciest general agreement with the rest of the participants in the thread is not attention-seeking, but posting a question asking why all the snarky and racist comments is?

R.A.Danny: And you're implying HE is judgemental? Sheesh. He's obtuse and demanding, not a serial killer.


   This is what I felt, too.

Infernalist:
His ad is basically a flashing neon-green sign that screams "I have self-esteem issues due to my height and/or penis size and should you choose to get connected to me, you WILL pay the price for that. Hell, I can't even get through this ad without belittling those who might sincerely respond. Should we end up in a relationship, you will suffer for that mistake, but I'm rich and old and might die soon, so rolls your dice and takes your chances, doormats."

     I won't say I don't agree that the tone of his writing suggests some failure to find happiness in the past and general disillusionment with the dating pool, but who's posting an online personal who ISN'T in that place?  His personality (as divined through his writing) you aren't attracted to, I can dig.  I also don't think he sounds like the kind of guy I'd like to hang out with, but I really do think he seems to be just honest about his situation.

     LeroyB: His "inbox" is probably "overflowing" with "serious" women who "want" to be "bossed" around.


     See, that's exactly the point... he doesn't WANT his inbox to be overflowing.  He wants to just hear from women in the class he's interested in.  How is this different from going to a bar or a party and not talking to / asking out the people you don't find attractive or interesting?

     Uptight people of both genders are fun to pick on, but there's some consensus from the Farkiverse that there's something malevolent or awful about him... I just don't actually see it.
 
2013-08-30 11:22:49 AM

BlueDuckFarker: Uptight people of both genders are fun to pick on, but there's some consensus from the Farkiverse that there's something malevolent or awful about him... I just don't actually see it.


Maybe it's because I'm older than many farkers, but I know women that find comfort in being controlled somewhat, and find arrogance to be very sexy. It ain't my thing, but guys in prison find women that will marry them, why wouldn't this guy?
 
2013-08-30 11:23:06 AM
" If you are looking for an ATM Machine to ...."


Yeah.....he's a "gentleman" and a "professional" that's also an idiot.
 
2013-08-30 11:23:57 AM

sno man: 30.) Does your mother still iron your underwear?


I emailed him and he says no. It becomes inexplicably crusted with semen at the sight of a woman so his mother just goes out and buys him a new ten-pack every couple of days.
 
2013-08-30 11:26:29 AM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: " If you are looking for an ATM Machine to ...."


Yeah.....he's a "gentleman" and a "professional" that's also an idiot.


Everyone needs an Asynchronous Transfer Mode machine.
 
2013-08-30 11:28:01 AM

Infernalist: Carousel Beast: Infernalist: mike_d85: Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.

Yeah.  Persian.

Every ethnic group has the those types.   So, not going to judge, but I 'will' say that the whole 'ad' reeks of "You're going to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week trying and failing to live up to my expectations.  And you'll be humiliated and possibly beaten for that failing, culminating in rough sex that you may or may not enjoy."

InigoMontoya.gif

Oh, I'll judge a person by his actions, but I won't prejudge an ethnic group based on the actions of one man.

The first is kinda dick-ish.  The second one is being bigoted and racist.  I'll cop to the first, thank you.


Which actions are you judging him by? All he's done is posted a want on Craigslist. I can see ridiculing him for that, but you've made quite the jump in your posts.
 
2013-08-30 11:29:33 AM
I wont give Jezebel my traffic. Anyone mind posting the whole thing?
 
2013-08-30 11:30:06 AM
i.imm.io

Artist's conception of what his dream girl would actually look like when reading this ad.
 
2013-08-30 11:30:25 AM

hailin: Ha this guy sounds like a gem. Why are you all hating on every girls fantasy?

Though I thought the comments on the article about how he was a douche for not dating anyone currently pregnant or who had kids was odd. I flat out refused to date anyone with kids because I didn't want to be a stepmom. I don't think that makes anyone an asshole to realize they just don't want to be parents yet and to look for a partner who is childless.


RickN99: Why's the article hating on the fact he doesn't want to date a pregnant woman or a woman who already has children?  It seems like an honest admission, but they refer to it as 'not respecting' those women.

Oh, wait.  It's Jezebel writing about a man.  Never mind.



Me too.  I don't get how that is disrespectful to women.  I also didn't date men with children (unless they were grown and out on their own) because I didn't want to deal with it.  I don't see that as an issue.

The rest of it?  Douchebaggery of the highest order.
 
2013-08-30 11:34:39 AM

Carousel Beast: Infernalist: Carousel Beast: Infernalist: mike_d85: Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He's a control freak and looking for a woman that he can intimidate and browbeat and emotionally dominate.

Yeah.  Persian.

Every ethnic group has the those types.   So, not going to judge, but I 'will' say that the whole 'ad' reeks of "You're going to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week trying and failing to live up to my expectations.  And you'll be humiliated and possibly beaten for that failing, culminating in rough sex that you may or may not enjoy."

InigoMontoya.gif

Oh, I'll judge a person by his actions, but I won't prejudge an ethnic group based on the actions of one man.

The first is kinda dick-ish.  The second one is being bigoted and racist.  I'll cop to the first, thank you.

Which actions are you judging him by? All he's done is posted a want on Craigslist. I can see ridiculing him for that, but you've made quite the jump in your posts.


Well, just a couple of things jump out at me that sealed that judgement.  He actually set up a FAQ which indicates that he needs to be in control of BOTH sides of the conversation, lest he be caught by a question asked in a way that won't let him appear controlling and righteous.  He had to phrase his questions in a light that allowed him to step on those questions and the imagined questioning women with proper scorn and disdain.

Secondly, he clearly states that he only wants young women within a certain age range, while completely glossing over his own age for most of the thing until he cops to being in his late 30s(though he's probably closer to 45.)

Combine the two and you get a man who's never been married...and probably for good reason...and is undoubtedly bitter about it and isn't likely to stop being bitter once he's snared some stupidly naive girl with no self esteem.

Maybe I'm wrong.  I'm probably not, though.
 
2013-08-30 11:41:03 AM
haha wow, some things about the ad are ridiculous like the quotation marks, capitalization, and Q&A section... but the message is spot on for someone looking for a serious relationship and is tired of wasting time on women that don't fulfill expectations. in that regard i'd only fault him for being overly thorough for craigslist or any online dating ad. but shiat if any women aren't outright offended and make it through his screening process, he'll be a lucky guy
 
2013-08-30 11:41:27 AM

Snarfangel: Satan's Bunny Slippers: " If you are looking for an ATM Machine to ...."


Yeah.....he's a "gentleman" and a "professional" that's also an idiot.

Everyone needs an Asynchronous Transfer Mode machine.


my life is incomplete....can I get one on Amazon?  I have Prime!
 
2013-08-30 11:44:45 AM

mrshowrules: Pic of guy who placed ad:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x330]


More like this amirite? Needs more gold chains.

i1202.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-30 11:51:53 AM
Successful troll is successful.

That is one hell of a FAQ list.  Ridiculous thing is I bet there is someone out there who just loves this shiat.
 
2013-08-30 12:00:23 PM

ChaosStar: Archae hippy: The dude loves "quotation" marks.

Came to say this.
My favorite was:
4) Question: I'm not in California. I currently live in Dallas, Texas. Is that OK?

Answer: No. If you live "outside" of Southern California it will be very difficult or impossible for a real friendship or relationship requiring an "airplane" for traveling and meeting.

Is he trying to say those flying things people use for travel are not airplanes?
All this time, I've been living a lie...


He's probably on the "no-fly" list
 
2013-08-30 12:06:12 PM
LOL! This could be an epic thread.  I will check back later.
 
2013-08-30 12:06:15 PM
But I thought confidence was sexy.
 
2013-08-30 12:09:11 PM

dustygrimp: But I thought confidence was sexy.


So is cologne.  In the right amount.
 
2013-08-30 12:09:30 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: " If you are looking for an ATM Machine to ...."


Yeah.....he's a "gentleman" and a "professional" that's also an idiot.


Everytime someone makes this "mistake" i just imagine they are talking about a "machine" that creates and/or dispenses "ATMs".  Which is like an "ATM", but more "valuable".

/I like the way he uses quotes.
 
2013-08-30 12:09:55 PM
Hm. The ad's been pulled.

You know, I imagine there's a woman out there - maybe she's Persian too, in her mid-20s, is making it professionally, is not too interested in deep emotions and doesn't do snark - who might appreciate what this guy is bringing to the table. I can't imagine too many twentysomething white girls would put up with him though. He wants someone who is serious and has no attitude. That exists, but it's not that common anymore.

I guess he's not going to expect 100 responses in his inbox. He'd only need one. But, what happens if the one woman he meets this way doesn't like *him*? For all that he wrote about himself, that still doesn't say much about what she'd expect a relationship with him to be like on an emotional level, if that would exist at all.
 
2013-08-30 12:11:16 PM
Really need to track this guy down so he get the full internet treatment he so richly deserves.
 
2013-08-30 12:15:15 PM
Looks like someone has been reading dating advice online and is taking the whole "act like an asshole and women will respect you" thing a little too far.
 
2013-08-30 12:17:08 PM
I read the whole thing in this guy's voice:

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-30 12:17:17 PM

furterfan: Q) Why do you ask yourself questions?

a) Good Question. You're obviously a smart individual.


Any guy that answers his own questions with the words, "Good Question" is just too much for me I'm afraid.  I'm not worthy.
 
2013-08-30 12:23:39 PM

Hella Fark: in that regard i'd only fault him for being overly thorough for craigslist or any online dating ad. but shiat if any women aren't outright offended ...



I'm not a chick but I'd hazard a guess that the Jezebel readers (and probably most adult women in the U.S.) aren't offended by the pickiness so much as they find it ridiculous. Worthy of ridicule.

But his pickiness is only half the story.

The other issue is his clarity about his expectations for the balance of power in a relationship -- i.e. he has it all, the woman gets absolutely none. Yeah, maybe there are women out there who are perfectly fine with that, maybe even comforted by it (à la R.A.Danny's comment above), but it's the 21st Century and that sort of thing is really ... Old World, pre-Modern. I would expect the overwhelming majority of women in the U.S., if presented with a specimen like him, would have an opinion ranging from 'hell with that guy' to taking offense, depending on how easily rankled she is.
 
2013-08-30 12:25:47 PM
Unavailable for comment
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-08-30 12:26:15 PM
FTFA's comments:

I will admit that I could not make it all of the way to the end of his FAQ's but I will say that this reads as an excellent mansplanation of why he's single and why I'm a happily partnered gay lady.

Seriously? "Mansplanation"?! Are you farking serious? You hate men THAT much, than you have to make up words to insinuate a lack of intelligence based on gender?

What an asshole.

I'm a friend to the LGBT community, but this proves that every group has its bigoted shiatheads.
 
2013-08-30 12:29:12 PM

phaseolus: Hella Fark: in that regard i'd only fault him for being overly thorough for craigslist or any online dating ad. but shiat if any women aren't outright offended ...


I'm not a chick but I'd hazard a guess that the Jezebel readers (and probably most adult women in the U.S.) aren't offended by the pickiness so much as they find it ridiculous. Worthy of ridicule.

But his pickiness is only half the story.

The other issue is his clarity about his expectations for the balance of power in a relationship -- i.e. he has it all, the woman gets absolutely none. Yeah, maybe there are women out there who are perfectly fine with that, maybe even comforted by it (à la R.A.Danny's comment above), but it's the 21st Century and that sort of thing is really ... Old World, pre-Modern. I would expect the overwhelming majority of women in the U.S., if presented with a specimen like him, would have an opinion ranging from 'hell with that guy' to taking offense, depending on how easily rankled she is.


What part of "Iranian/Persian man" did you miss? Persian men who respect their female partner as an equal are the exception, not the rule. Women are property in their culture; I've known too many Persian women and men to give him the benefit of the doubt, especially after his rather obnoxious list of demands.
 
2013-08-30 12:29:14 PM

INeedAName: Cybernetic: tricycleracer: I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian).

Oh man, I bet he's got a sweet BMW E46 M3.

In white. It's always white.

Nah. I'm thinking forest green with a beige leather interior.


Wait. My car is forest green with beige leather interior....

My god
 
2013-08-30 12:30:37 PM

sno man: 30.) Does your mother still iron your underwear?


A) No, that will be your job once we are together.
 
2013-08-30 12:34:46 PM
There's nothing illegal about his ad.  Detailed and picky yes.  I have always thought that when posting a personal ad it's better to share a little bit more about yourself up front so those replying to it can decide if they have anything in common with you or not.  But, hey.  I guess he knows what he wants.  I'm sure he'll get some responses and if he's in SoCal, aren't all the women out there pretty perfect anyway or at least strive to be?  Not like he's posting an ad to meet chicks from Iowa or Michigan.  I'm only basing the perfect comment re SoCal from a friend I've known for years-drop dead gorgeous tall blonde and she was horrified the first time I stepped out of my apartment to go to the grocery store without makeup.  Nearly had a heart attack when I told her that when I lived in AK, I went shopping in my jammies quite often.  So yeah, this cat will find someone with his ad, I'm pretty sure given the area he's searching and lives in.  Maybe he's just shy with women in person and figured CraigsList was a good starting point.  Also, and I only say this from dating a man from Pakistan many years ago-a lot of Middle Eastern men are extremely hot.  Or extremely not.  There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.  I dated a really hot one and it's too bad it didn't work out, he was a nice guy but also very picky about the women he dated.  No idea how I ever made the cut.  Still have fond memories of him, though.
 
2013-08-30 12:39:38 PM

Yanks_RSJ: And let's all watch as the jezzies ignore their apartment full of cats for an hour or two to rip this guy to shreds.


I can't wait to see if any of them post some sort of response from him.  There were at least a couple of threads with people planning on trolling him.
 
2013-08-30 12:40:37 PM

ferretman: "I'm from Persia/Iran."


Now THAT's a man begging for a cockpunchin'
 
2013-08-30 12:41:18 PM
I've been accused of being unreasonable because of my overly strict demands.  "Not fat".
 
2013-08-30 12:42:59 PM
A "personal ad" that long is either fake or gigantic blinking neon warning sign. Short of wearing a nametag that says, "Hi! I'm an insufferable asshole," not sure how it gets clearer.
 
2013-08-30 12:50:58 PM

ZeroCorpse: What part of "Iranian/Persian man" did you miss?



I'm lacking personal familiarity, here. Not many Persians settled in Milwaukee. The only Persian-American I've had the chance to observe in recent memory is a Farker who apparently doesn't post much anymore, at least over here in liter-land, and he always came across as more cerebral and thoughtful than domineering and narcissistic.
 
2013-08-30 12:51:19 PM
I missed this "gem":

"Men, in general, are TURNED-OFF by aggressive or argumentative woman BECAUSE it is characteristic of a traditional "masculine" person and NOT someone feminine."

This sentiment is common in MRA circles and almost always translates to "Women have no right to question or challenge a man's opinion."
 
2013-08-30 12:53:25 PM

cookiefleck: Dafatone: Good points have been made in this thread about why public opinion is against intervening, even though the case is stronger against Syria than Iraq.

One thing overlooked is Saddam.  While as far as I can tell, he wasn't doing much to warrant our going into Iraq (other than generally just being a bad guy,) he was a very visible dictator who we had fought in the past, and was widely known as a villain all over America.

What percent of the country knows who Assad is?  It's gotta be a much, MUCH lower percentage than those who knew who Saddam was.

heh. It's nuanced, I like it.


...I'll show myself out.

/jesus, that's like... 45 billion levels of unintentional troll right there.
 
2013-08-30 12:53:49 PM
I'm also not sure where this idea that he wants ALL THE POWER comes from, either.  He doesn't like argumentative women... I'm gonna hazard a guess that most of you are kind of like me -- fairly argumentative in general.  And haven't you met lots of people who don't care for that aspect of your personality?

He very clearly lays out that disagreement != aggressive argumentative.  He finds it an unattractive quality, doesn't want to waste his time with it.

The more y'all hate on it, the more I think this is how every personal ad should be constructed.

Also, an FAQ does not suggest that you're asking yourself questions.  When you're posting a personal on Craigslist, it's a fair guess you've been down the other avenues already.  That you've met certain types you don't care for is a given, and why not present them?  "These are my known deal-breakers, ladies.  If you recognize yourself in one of these questions, please move along."

If this guy meets someone, I think they're both going to be very happy.
 
2013-08-30 12:54:23 PM

OgreMagi: I've been accused of being unreasonable because of my overly strict demands.  "Not fat".


You likes what you likes, no crime.  I've been accused of being unreasonable of my demands too, "not stupid".  My current SO/old man is skinnier than me and it took me the better part of a year to adjust to that.  He could end up just being a head in a jar, ala Futurama and I'd still love him.  But, the body helps :)

My ex-husband was both fat and not the sharpest knife in the drawer.  Guess why I divorced him?  Not because of the fat thing.  He was a mouth-breathing, idiotic, racist waste of oxygen.  Didn't find out the racist part until after marriage, sadly.  And yes, we met online *sigh*

Maybe it's not the worst thing in the world that this guy is so picky.  Maybe it saves him time and money.  The ad is a bit offensive, but again, he likes what he likes, so be it.
 
2013-08-30 12:55:01 PM

specialkae: There's nothing illegal about his ad.  Detailed and picky yes.  I have always thought that when posting a personal ad it's better to share a little bit more about yourself up front so those replying to it can decide if they have anything in common with you or not.  But, hey.  I guess he knows what he wants.  I'm sure he'll get some responses and if he's in SoCal, aren't all the women out there pretty perfect anyway or at least strive to be?  Not like he's posting an ad to meet chicks from Iowa or Michigan.  I'm only basing the perfect comment re SoCal from a friend I've known for years-drop dead gorgeous tall blonde and she was horrified the first time I stepped out of my apartment to go to the grocery store without makeup.  Nearly had a heart attack when I told her that when I lived in AK, I went shopping in my jammies quite often.  So yeah, this cat will find someone with his ad, I'm pretty sure given the area he's searching and lives in.  Maybe he's just shy with women in person and figured CraigsList was a good starting point.  Also, and I only say this from dating a man from Pakistan many years ago-a lot of Middle Eastern men are extremely hot.  Or extremely not.  There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.  I dated a really hot one and it's too bad it didn't work out, he was a nice guy but also very picky about the women he dated.  No idea how I ever made the cut.  Still have fond memories of him, though.


I never saw 'illegal' mentioned.  However, while he has every right to be a self righteous douchebag, it's hardly him sharing a little more about himself.  He shares exactly nothing about himself, except he's Persian/something and an ass.  Not even his real age, height, etc. but he demands it from any female who has self esteem low enough to answer his ad.

Not even going with the premise "there are no really super duper hot women outside of socal, you know, in places like Iowa" because well, that's just silly.  You can find hot women everywhere.  However your chances of finding plastic women ARE much higher in socal.

But I'm still 55% fake ad, 45% douchebag who will be alone and 5' tall and rich.  But alone forever.
 
2013-08-30 12:59:27 PM

fiddlehead: I missed this "gem":

"Men, in general, are TURNED-OFF by aggressive or argumentative woman BECAUSE it is characteristic of a traditional "masculine" person and NOT someone feminine."

This sentiment is common in MRA circles and almost always translates to "Women have no right to question or challenge a man's opinion."


Heh.  It reminded me of many many many years ago, I dated a man who took a swing at me.  (well no, he bashed the side of my head in with his boot while I was sleeping, but that's another tale).  Of course after I got home from the hospital, I promptly packed up, moved out.  One day he was in the parking lot when I came out of work and begged me to take him back.  I said no, and fark off forever, don't come here again or contact me in any way or I will call the police.

He SCREAMED at me that I wanted to be the MAN OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND IF I KNEW WHAT WAS GOOD FOR ME I'D GET OVER THAT REALLY FARKING FAST.

I can see this little prick doing something like that if a woman disagreed or broke up with him.
 
2013-08-30 01:03:39 PM

RickN99: Why's the article hating on the fact he doesn't want to date a pregnant woman or a woman who already has children? It seems like an honest admission, but they refer to it as 'not respecting' those women.


Not wanting to pick up someone else's saved game makes you a shiatlord. Or something.

It doesn't make someone a dick if they don't want to get involved with someone who's got kids. I won't, and I know a lot of guys who won't either.

Out of all the things on shiatbird's list, the only one that I see as reasonable is that he's not interested in any single mothers.
 
2013-08-30 01:03:51 PM
Sounds like the bible thumper I worked with. When she first got here she wouldn't STFU about her life. One day she went on about the guy she was going to marry. She laid out all the critiria he would have to meet, athletic, tall, (meanwhile she was short and fat) rich, own homes around the world, own lots of businesses, the list went on and on hell by the end of it if that guy existed I would have married him and I'm not gay (NTTIAWWT). If she ever placed an ad it may as well have been titled "Disney Princess seeks Disney Prince" I thnk she will be a cat lady one day.
 
2013-08-30 01:10:26 PM

mike_d85: IdBeCrazyIf:
I knew a guy once in college that would sign up for internet dating sites use a fake guy pic to get girl pics and then use those girl pics to get even more guy pics nudes which he would then sell to amateur porn sites.

"I knew a guy once" huh?  Yeah, I bet your the reason why my giant wang is on image fap.

/Giant.
//No, you can't check.
///because f*ck you, that's why.



You "know a guy"?
www.gonewiththetwins.com
 
2013-08-30 01:27:22 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: cookiefleck: There's something fishy about the fact that he wants all of this personal information about his potential partners, plus pics and then he'll maybe disclose some info, if the chick is "worthy"? Sounds like he either wants to steal identities or wants to fill his spank bank.

I knew a guy once in college that would sign up for internet dating sites use a fake guy pic to get girl pics and then use those girl pics to get even more guy pics nudes which he would then sell to amateur porn sites.


So that's how it happened...damn.
 
2013-08-30 01:37:00 PM
What a catch.
 
2013-08-30 01:41:15 PM

phaseolus: ZeroCorpse: What part of "Iranian/Persian man" did you miss?


I'm lacking personal familiarity, here. Not many Persians settled in Milwaukee. The only Persian-American I've had the chance to observe in recent memory is a Farker who apparently doesn't post much anymore, at least over here in liter-land, and he always came across as more cerebral and thoughtful than domineering and narcissistic.


Understandable. I lived in a city dominated by Middle Easterners, and in my experience, the men tend to view women as little more than accessories to their manhood. Men make all the decisions. Women serve men.

The woman who responds to this should also ask if he prefers her to undergo genital mutilation so sex isn't as pleasurable for her, or if she can keep her clitoris intact. I hate to say it, but a lot of those guys are apparently intimidated (or is it offended?) by a woman who actually enjoys sex.
 
2013-08-30 01:44:33 PM
I read that in a middle-eastern accent.  I'm sure many did.

I feel like I did that before he mentioned being Persian/Iranian, but I don't remember for sure.

I'd like to think I did, anyway.
 
2013-08-30 01:50:04 PM
Wow, this is far longer than the one I would run:

Looking for: Decent looking, intelligent woman who will fark me.
 
2013-08-30 01:51:58 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: specialkae: There's nothing illegal about his ad.  Detailed and picky yes.  I have always thought that when posting a personal ad it's better to share a little bit more about yourself up front so those replying to it can decide if they have anything in common with you or not.  But, hey.  I guess he knows what he wants.  I'm sure he'll get some responses and if he's in SoCal, aren't all the women out there pretty perfect anyway or at least strive to be?  Not like he's posting an ad to meet chicks from Iowa or Michigan.  I'm only basing the perfect comment re SoCal from a friend I've known for years-drop dead gorgeous tall blonde and she was horrified the first time I stepped out of my apartment to go to the grocery store without makeup.  Nearly had a heart attack when I told her that when I lived in AK, I went shopping in my jammies quite often.  So yeah, this cat will find someone with his ad, I'm pretty sure given the area he's searching and lives in.  Maybe he's just shy with women in person and figured CraigsList was a good starting point.  Also, and I only say this from dating a man from Pakistan many years ago-a lot of Middle Eastern men are extremely hot.  Or extremely not.  There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.  I dated a really hot one and it's too bad it didn't work out, he was a nice guy but also very picky about the women he dated.  No idea how I ever made the cut.  Still have fond memories of him, though.

I never saw 'illegal' mentioned.  However, while he has every right to be a self righteous douchebag, it's hardly him sharing a little more about himself.  He shares exactly nothing about himself, except he's Persian/something and an ass.  Not even his real age, height, etc. but he demands it from any female who has self esteem low enough to answer his ad.

Not even going with the premise "there are no really super duper hot women outside of socal, you know, in places like Iowa" because well, that's just silly.  You can find hot women everywhere.   ...


He SCREAMED at me that I wanted to be the MAN OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND IF I KNEW WHAT WAS GOOD FOR ME I'D GET OVER THAT REALLY FARKING FAST.
I can see this little prick doing something like that if a woman disagreed or broke up with him.



Just for your handle I'm replying and I miss my bunny slippers, dogs ate them. Hey, I agree, I only mention illegal because so many folks in this thread were/are willing to crucify this guy and while he's not really doing anything wrong it is of course strongly questionable and putting him on trial in the Fark courtroom where we are anything but impartial.  Yes, I think he should provide a few more vital stats.  Let's someone on Fark monitor this ad and see what kind of bites he gets.  I'm still betting on several sincere responses, but who knows what he'll get from posting the ad?  Inquiring minds want to know.   Also, speaking as a kept woman, I'm good with it, but, I should add I am not beaten, mistreated or told to do the housework although it is my responsibility.  I don't mind being taken care of, but it was an adjustment and I go back to work next Tuesday full time making near on what my old man does.  He pays the bills, I take care of the house and pay for incidentals, date nights and stuff for the kid.  It's not a bad arrangement if both parties agree and are at peace with it.  Maybe that's why I'm defending this guy a bit-if he wants and finds a woman who meets his needs and will take care of her (if he does, per his FAQ) who's to say otherwise?  It's a good gig so long as not a Quiverfull family or any other odd or potentially abusive situation.  Hell, the old man/SO bought me my car (used, of course). Didn't bat an eyelash.  I do my part, he does his.  Everyone is happy.  Not a big deal.  It can and does work in certain situations like maybe this picky guy is looking for.  Over the course of a week, I "work" almost 20 hrs more than the old man.  Doesn't bother me, he takes care of other more important matters so I don't have to worry my pretty lil head over them.  I spent enough time worrying and our distribution of labor is near equal in our household, but I have chosen to take a more subservient role.  Doesn't make me any less of a woman.

/you are now favorited only because of your handle which I do so love :)
 
2013-08-30 01:54:42 PM

Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.


He claims to be in his thirties, which he helpfully defines as "between 30 - 39."
 
2013-08-30 01:56:30 PM

elev8meL8r: Infernalist: The big give-away for me was the fact that the guy is looking for a girl 18-27 and he's in his late 30s, if not 40s.

He claims to be in his thirties, which he helpfully defines as "between 30 - 39."


Which means he's at least 45 based on online dating rules.
 
2013-08-30 01:58:02 PM
www.thesmokingjacket.com

Damn he loves quotes.
 
2013-08-30 01:58:41 PM

The Muthaship: I bet his inbox is blowing up.

/seriously


No it isn't, because some asshole flagged it. I was going to suggest we all open up alt emails and spam the fark out of him.
 
2013-08-30 01:59:24 PM
Personals on craigslist are awesome. Here is a gem from missed connections today:

"So I was in getting a spray tan today when something embarrassing happened. You and I both know what it is. I have been abstinent for a little while now, due to spiritual reasons, and what happened is what some refer to as precum; my recent abstinence combined with the personal and exhilarating thrill that comes along with being naked in front of a pretty lady, is to blame for the incident. I just wanted to insure you that there is nothing wrong with me no infections or anything. I also want to stress that the purpose of this post is not to hit on you, but just to explain the awkward situation. Please respond if you read this post so know you understand the situation."
 
2013-08-30 02:00:18 PM

BlueDuckFarker: Not trolling.. I don't see that this guy is such a horrible person?

He's pretty uptight about his criteria, and uses quotation marks like a mofo, but he spells well enough, which is better than 80% of the folks on Craigslist personal ads.

But he's just particular about the kind of woman he wants to meet, and it doesn't sound like the kind is anything crazy-impossible to be, either.. he wants to meet a smart, nice woman who's serious about finding a life partner.

I think what he's asking for are pretty much the things many guys look for in a woman, they just don't lay it all out explicitly.  But why waste your time when you know what you're looking for?

I dunno... I think he's fine.  Uptight, but I know lots of uptight guys who have wives/husbands and are very happy.

Is there something super-objectionable about him?  Or is it just the deliberate way he's doing it, and the quotation marks?


He's an arrogant asshole. Sure, posting some guidelines can't hurt, but he just barely stops at insisting in inspecting the women like they were horseflesh. Maybe that part got truncated due to length.
 
2013-08-30 02:05:19 PM
specialkae: /you are now favorited only because of your handle which I do so love :)


Well thanks!  Rereading my post, I came off lots more biatchy than I intended.  I have no issue whatsoever if it's a joint agreement thing, and I'm all for that.  To me, he just comes off as having some pretty serious issues about the "worth" and "deserving" of women.  That rings/smacks of "you shall do as I say, when I say it, and if you don't agree in the beginning, fark off".

Your relationship is representative of a fine and healthy one, it's give and take.  The way I read this ad, it's all give from the female's side to be tossed some sort of gratuity from him *if* he deems her worthy.

And I'm sorry about your slippers.  :)
 
2013-08-30 02:11:28 PM
22) Question ("Comment"): I am scared of "Internet" dating. I don't meet anyone from the Internet.
Answer: Then why are you on the "Internet" and searching here?


Because I heard that you were a batshiat crazy asshole, and I had to check it out for myself.

25) Question ("Comment"): I can't date or go out unless my parents give me permission -OR- I have to be home by 10 pm because my parents will get mad -OR- My sister is next to me right now so I can't talk on the phone.
Answer: If you are 18 or 30 years old (legal adult) and your parents or siblings still "control" your decisions, then please don't contact me. I am not looking to "babysit" anyone or let you make me feel I am with a child.


But I sure as shiat want to control the fark out of YOU... I'm "Persian", after all, let ME keep you in line, but with no outside interference.

/The only Persians I ever met who insisted on being called 'Persian', rather than Iranian were cocky, arrogant, self-important pricks.
 
2013-08-30 02:11:59 PM
Anyone from back in the Internet's formative years remember "Mary, the Gentle Dominant Princess"? (I'm thinking '97 or so.) Same kind of thing -- she had a wall-o-text website ostensibly looking for someone to date, but with a whole mess of crazy behind it.

I remember her spelling out specific responses that you would have to give to her when she first called you, to indicate that you had read all of her rules and requirements, and there was a whole schedule of gifts that you were supposed to give to her at various points during your first dates.

Her website floated around some of the message boards I was reading back then, but Google has no recollection of her whatsoever.
 
2013-08-30 02:14:42 PM

Uzzah: Anyone from back in the Internet's formative years remember "Mary, the Gentle Dominant Princess"? (I'm thinking '97 or so.) Same kind of thing -- she had a wall-o-text website ostensibly looking for someone to date, but with a whole mess of crazy behind it.

I remember her spelling out specific responses that you would have to give to her when she first called you, to indicate that you had read all of her rules and requirements, and there was a whole schedule of gifts that you were supposed to give to her at various points during your first dates.

Her website floated around some of the message boards I was reading back then, but Google has no recollection of her whatsoever.


Look upthread.
 
2013-08-30 02:18:31 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Uzzah: Anyone from back in the Internet's formative years remember "Mary, the Gentle Dominant Princess"?

Look upthread.


No. I insist on having the conversation proceed according to my structure. If you can't abide by that, I don't think we're going to get along very well.
 
2013-08-30 02:19:50 PM

Uzzah: Satan's Bunny Slippers: Uzzah: Anyone from back in the Internet's formative years remember "Mary, the Gentle Dominant Princess"?

Look upthread.

No. I insist on having the conversation proceed according to my structure. If you can't abide by that, I don't think we're going to get along very well.



Aw, c'mere you!!  Imma hug you and squeeze you and pet you and pat you and I will call you George!!!

:P
 
2013-08-30 02:22:29 PM
P.S.  Wtf is up with all the anti-Persion and Iranian bits?  An asshat like this can stand up on his own without the need to involve any racial stereotyping.

fark.  I am dissapoint
 
2013-08-30 02:23:25 PM

Uzzah: Anyone from back in the Internet's formative years remember "Mary, the Gentle Dominant Princess"? (I'm thinking '97 or so.) Same kind of thing -- she had a wall-o-text website ostensibly looking for someone to date, but with a whole mess of crazy behind it.

I remember her spelling out specific responses that you would have to give to her when she first called you, to indicate that you had read all of her rules and requirements, and there was a whole schedule of gifts that you were supposed to give to her at various points during your first dates.

Her website floated around some of the message boards I was reading back then, but Google has no recollection of her whatsoever.


You'll still see similar ads posted on various dating sites.  There's usually a wall of text outlining what kind of guy they want which usually begins with "I'm down to earth"  WTF does that mean?  You need a six figure income, have six pack abs, never married, late 20s early 30s, own your own home, etc.  And buried somewhere near the end is "must like middle aged big girls".

In general, people on dating websites, both men and women, have unreasonable expectations.
 
2013-08-30 02:25:20 PM

OgreMagi:  "must like middle aged big girls".



Hell that's my opening line!
 
2013-08-30 02:26:28 PM
Some of it is common sense, and what guys think, and would want in a potential partner.

But he was dumb enough to say it out loud.
 
2013-08-30 02:30:11 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: specialkae: /you are now favorited only because of your handle which I do so love :)


Well thanks!  Rereading my post, I came off lots more biatchy than I intended.  I have no issue whatsoever if it's a joint agreement thing, and I'm all for that.  To me, he just comes off as having some pretty serious issues about the "worth" and "deserving" of women.  That rings/smacks of "you shall do as I say, when I say it, and if you don't agree in the beginning, fark off".

Your relationship is representative of a fine and healthy one, it's give and take.  The way I read this ad, it's all give from the female's side to be tossed some sort of gratuity from him *if* he deems her worthy.

And I'm sorry about your slippers.  :)


Me too.  Stupid Labs, I miss them.  Ex got 'em.

Hey NP, have you seen some of my posts?  Yeah biatchay would be the word.  I have read your posts for a few years and know that you are sane.  Why I like you.

To me, he just comes off as having some pretty serious issues about the "worth" and "deserving" of women.  That rings/smacks of "you shall do as I say, when I say it, and if you don't agree in the beginning, fark off".

From the postie:

Yeah really could be an issue with this guy, but I try to err on the side of caution when it comes to men and their psycology-never sure these days.  I think that men have become more fair minded overall and that extends to international borders to a degree that they wish to be fair, but many times cultural alignments and expectations cause them to not phrase very well, IMHO as well as translate over into caveman speak-woman-mine, which may or may not be the true intent.  I think most times it is not.  Hint, I've known my old man for almost 20 years and he still shocks me from time to time with his intellectual insights, sigh.

I had somewhat mixed emotions when reading his ad initially and then erred on the side of my own experience.  Who knows?  Maybe we'll see some hot Iranian prince getting married in Iowa soon ;)  keep posting, you are a great farkette.
 
2013-08-30 02:36:08 PM

advres: Molavian: I dunno, a buddy of mine ended up marrying a woman who had posted a similar list of what she was looking for in a guy.  They've been happily married for 15 years because she was up front about what she was looking for and so was he.

They've been married 15 years?  Did she post it to a light pole or something like geocities?


I'm betting it was alt.magic.the.gathering.faq and hers was the only post by a female.
 
2013-08-30 02:36:36 PM

ZeroCorpse: FTFA's comments:

I will admit that I could not make it all of the way to the end of his FAQ's but I will say that this reads as an excellent mansplanation of why he's single and why I'm a happily partnered gay lady.

Seriously? "Mansplanation"?! Are you farking serious? You hate men THAT much, than you have to make up words to insinuate a lack of intelligence based on gender?

What an asshole.

I'm a friend to the LGBT community, but this proves that every group has its bigoted shiatheads.


Hey, Outrage Bro, 'mansplain' is a real word.

/And where did you get that she hated men?
 
2013-08-30 02:47:47 PM
Lets see what my wife says when I tell her I don't want to date anyone with children.
 
2013-08-30 02:50:41 PM
I once created a CL ad in the CE section and I described myself in the most disgusting way I could think of.  I pulled a George Costanza, if you recall that scene in Seinfeld "I'm short, bald, unemployed and I live with my parents"  -girl at counter "Hi!"

Well I went even further, describing myself as obese, greasy, pimply, small penis etc.  Then I went on to spell out what I wanted in a girl.  Someone who would do the most disgusting things some of which are illegal in all 50 states.  I said only young hot girls need respond.

So I get about 100 responses from hookers as does anyone who submits an ad, I got two or three legit women who were really ugly but there was ONE GIRL who was actually really hot and seemed legit.  We exchanged emails for a few days. She had a huge humiliation fetish and was willing to do all the sick twisted things I mentioned in the ad.  I even asked her to verify herself by sending me pictures holding up hand written messages to me in the photo.  Sure enough she did.  Eventually she messaged me that she was about 30 minutes away visiting a friend and wanted to get together and do some of the stuff I mentioned.

Thing is.. I don't actually look like I described and I am not into any of the things I suggested. I am attractive, married andmonogamous   The entire thing was just an experiment I conducted while bored at work one day. I wanted to see if anyone legit would actually respond and I wanted to see how far I could take it.  When it got to the point where I had nowhere else to go in theconversation without meeting up, I had to stop communicating with her.

TLDR:  The thing about needles in a haystack is if you use a high powered magnet like the kind dangling from a crane to pick up cars you will find that needle.

P.S. I still have the photos she sent on my flickr account :)
 
2013-08-30 02:56:28 PM

mpfjr: I once created a CL ad in the CE section and I described myself in the most disgusting way I could think of.  I pulled a George Costanza, if you recall that scene in Seinfeld "I'm short, bald, unemployed and I live with my parents"  -girl at counter "Hi!"


I briefly dated a woman who, as it turned out, was into rape fantasy.  I don't mean the innocent "what are you doing in my bed, handsome stranger?"  She wanted to be punched around, humiliated, hurt, called names, etc.  I walked away.  There's no way I could ever do something like that.
 
2013-08-30 03:02:04 PM

Zombalupagus: [i.imm.io image 630x592]

Artist's conception of what his dream girl would actually look like when reading this ad.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-30 03:06:14 PM

PsiChick: ZeroCorpse: FTFA's comments:

I will admit that I could not make it all of the way to the end of his FAQ's but I will say that this reads as an excellent mansplanation of why he's single and why I'm a happily partnered gay lady.

Seriously? "Mansplanation"?! Are you farking serious? You hate men THAT much, than you have to make up words to insinuate a lack of intelligence based on gender?

What an asshole.

I'm a friend to the LGBT community, but this proves that every group has its bigoted shiatheads.

Hey, Outrage Bro, 'mansplain' is a real word.

/And where did you get that she hated men?


It's presence on Urban Dictionary doesn't make it a "real word," but come on Zero, I know you're on Fark all the time, but if you haven't heard "mansplain" before now, you really haven't been paying attention to the rest of the internet.
 
2013-08-30 03:06:54 PM

100 Watt Walrus: It's Its presence on Urban Dictionary doesn't make it a "real word," but come on Zero, I know you're on Fark all the time, but if you haven't heard "mansplain" before now, you really haven't been paying attention to the rest of the internet.


/godammit
 
2013-08-30 03:12:28 PM

100 Watt Walrus: 100 Watt Walrus: It's Its presence on Urban Dictionary doesn't make it a "real word," but come on Zero, I know you're on Fark all the time, but if you haven't heard "mansplain" before now, you really haven't been paying attention to the rest of the internet.

/godammit


nah.  you're forgiven for the "artist's rendering" just above that.  And it's friday, and almost time to go home.
 
2013-08-30 03:33:03 PM

hailin: Though I thought the comments on the article about how he was a douche for not dating anyone currently pregnant or who had kids was odd. I flat out refused to date anyone with kids because I didn't want to be a stepmom. I don't think that makes anyone an asshole to realize they just don't want to be parents yet and to look for a partner who is childless.


A lot of the Jezebel crowd seems to think that not wanting to date a single mother is somehow disrespectful. Personally, a woman with kids is a SERIOUS cons list item. It's almost a no go. Not quite, but I'll tell you, if I dated a woman who had kids, she better swallow more wang than a Chinese shipwreck. I'm not raising some other guy's kid without some serious compensation.
 
2013-08-30 03:36:14 PM

Freudian_slipknot: R.A.Danny: Who is he harming? If you wrote out an ad and really worked on attracting the perfect mate you would most likely look like a douchebag too. Don't spend a minute trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole.

The key there is "attracting"

There is nothing attractive about this ad, because he's fishing with an unbaited hook.

He wants the perfect mate?  Grand.  So do many women.  But there is literally nothing in this ad about why he'd be perfect for ANYONE.  He's demanding and yet has shown nothing that would make him worthy of being demanding.  There's absolutely nothing about what he looks like (which is kinda farking important in dating) and nothing showing that he has anything that would overcome a lack of looks.  He says he has a job, but made it clear that none of that money would be spent on a significant other, so money isn't a selling point.  That leaves personality, and the ad makes it clear he lacks that too.  Hell, it doesn't even bother to describe any hobbies he might have so he might at least have SOMETHING in common with another human.

So you can be demanding, sure.  But when you're demanding but have nothing to offer in return?  You're a toddler throwing a hissy fit because you want candy.


Excellent points.
 
2013-08-30 03:40:07 PM

Magnanimous_J: hailin: Though I thought the comments on the article about how he was a douche for not dating anyone currently pregnant or who had kids was odd. I flat out refused to date anyone with kids because I didn't want to be a stepmom. I don't think that makes anyone an asshole to realize they just don't want to be parents yet and to look for a partner who is childless.

A lot of the Jezebel crowd seems to think that not wanting to date a single mother is somehow disrespectful. Personally, a woman with kids is a SERIOUS cons list item. It's almost a no go. Not quite, but I'll tell you, if I dated a woman who had kids, she better swallow more wang than a Chinese shipwreck. I'm not raising some other guy's kid without some serious compensation.


I have dated single moms.  I married one.  That didn't turn out all that great.  The other time I dated a single mom it was too much of a hassle.  She could never find time away from her kid.  I actually didn't mind a trip to the ice cream parlor.  It was fun.  But make adult only time, please, because I'm not taking a seven year old to a fancy restaurant.  It was also obvious the kid was acting up whenever I was around. Typically by refusing to go to bed at her regular hour and insisting that she was scared and wanted to sleep with mommy.  Which tends to put a damper on the adult activities.
 
2013-08-30 03:42:14 PM

Bolognious Monk: Unavailable for comment
[i0.kym-cdn.com image 400x400]


What.

The fark.

Is that?
 
2013-08-30 04:17:34 PM
GET IT??

I can just imagine this guy aggressively screaming this at some poor woman for the rest of her life. ugh.
 
2013-08-30 05:25:05 PM
Is it racist that I guessed middle-eastern the moment I started seeing the details of said personal?
 
2013-08-30 05:29:46 PM

PsiChick: Hey, Outrage Bro, 'mansplain' is a real word.

/And where did you get that she hated men?


Oh look, it's you again. Doesn't your type usually get all 'OMG you can't judge their culture!' about these sorts of things?

Magnanimous_J: A lot of the Jezebel crowd seems to think that not wanting to date a single mother is somehow disrespectful. Personally, a woman with kids is a SERIOUS cons list item. It's almost a no go. Not quite, but I'll tell you, if I dated a woman who had kids, she better swallow more wang than a Chinese shipwreck. I'm not raising some other guy's kid without some serious compensation.


fark, you're more tolerant than I am. A guy with a kid is an absolute no-go entirely for me, I don't care if pink taco is his favorite food and he's hungry every 10 minutes. If he's got a kid, he's not getting me. That's too much baggage and bullshiat for me to be dealing with. If I wanted to structure my life around a kid, I wouldn't have gotten fixed.

OgreMagi: The other time I dated a single mom it was too much of a hassle.


How could it not be? Everything that you do is dictated around the kid. Wake up one morning and decide to go spend a couple days just farking off somewhere? Can't. Kid. Want to go out to a movie without planning ahead? Can't. Kid. Go straight from work to a show? Can't. Kid. Spend all day screwing all over the house? Can't. Kid.

A kid is just a giant ball of nope.
 
2013-08-30 05:37:29 PM

fiddlehead: I missed this "gem":

"Men, in general, are TURNED-OFF by aggressive or argumentative woman BECAUSE it is characteristic of a traditional "masculine" person and NOT someone feminine."

This sentiment is common in MRA circles and almost always translates to "Women have no right to question or challenge a man's opinion."


MRA? I know of the mountain rescue association, but I doubt that's what you mean.
 
2013-08-30 05:38:28 PM

heili skrimsli: PsiChick: Hey, Outrage Bro, 'mansplain' is a real word.

/And where did you get that she hated men?

Oh look, it's you again. Doesn't your type usually get all 'OMG you can't judge their culture!' about these sorts of things?


Persian-American is a non-American culture now?
 
2013-08-30 05:57:47 PM

PsiChick: ZeroCorpse: FTFA's comments:

I will admit that I could not make it all of the way to the end of his FAQ's but I will say that this reads as an excellent mansplanation of why he's single and why I'm a happily partnered gay lady.

Seriously? "Mansplanation"?! Are you farking serious? You hate men THAT much, than you have to make up words to insinuate a lack of intelligence based on gender?

What an asshole.

I'm a friend to the LGBT community, but this proves that every group has its bigoted shiatheads.

Hey, Outrage Bro, 'mansplain' is a real word.

/And where did you get that she hated men?


Ummm.. Urban Dictionary is not a real dictionary. Please do not use it to justify a loaded gender-tag. She used "mansplain" to indicate that the writer was OBVIOUSLY stupid BECAUSE he's a man. That equates to bigotry. If she weren't pointing out his male stupidity, she would have used the real word "explain" instead of the bullshiat word "mansplain."
 
2013-08-30 06:01:25 PM

100 Watt Walrus: PsiChick: ZeroCorpse: FTFA's comments:

I will admit that I could not make it all of the way to the end of his FAQ's but I will say that this reads as an excellent mansplanation of why he's single and why I'm a happily partnered gay lady.

Seriously? "Mansplanation"?! Are you farking serious? You hate men THAT much, than you have to make up words to insinuate a lack of intelligence based on gender?

What an asshole.

I'm a friend to the LGBT community, but this proves that every group has its bigoted shiatheads.

Hey, Outrage Bro, 'mansplain' is a real word.

/And where did you get that she hated men?

It's presence on Urban Dictionary doesn't make it a "real word," but come on Zero, I know you're on Fark all the time, but if you haven't heard "mansplain" before now, you really haven't been paying attention to the rest of the internet.


I've heard it before, and that's why I dislike it and am in a state of disbelief that someone would use it and then in the very next breath mention her own sexuality's superior status.

If I said "I'm glad she biatchsplained that" the womyn at Jezebel would never shut up about it, but "mansplain" is okay because hey, there's no problem with disparaging men the same way because feminism.
 
2013-08-30 06:07:41 PM

ZeroCorpse: PsiChick: ZeroCorpse: FTFA's comments:

I will admit that I could not make it all of the way to the end of his FAQ's but I will say that this reads as an excellent mansplanation of why he's single and why I'm a happily partnered gay lady.

Seriously? "Mansplanation"?! Are you farking serious? You hate men THAT much, than you have to make up words to insinuate a lack of intelligence based on gender?

What an asshole.

I'm a friend to the LGBT community, but this proves that every group has its bigoted shiatheads.

Hey, Outrage Bro, 'mansplain' is a real word.

/And where did you get that she hated men?

Ummm.. Urban Dictionary is not a real dictionary. Please do not use it to justify a loaded gender-tag. She used "mansplain" to indicate that the writer was OBVIOUSLY stupid BECAUSE he's a man. That equates to bigotry. If she weren't pointing out his male stupidity, she would have used the real word "explain" instead of the bullshiat word "mansplain."


'Mansplain' originated as a term to describe a situation where men felt the need to condescend to women. It became gender-neutral later. You'd know that if you'd read more than the top of the page I linked you to. It is currently a gender-neutral term in the same way 'coont' is--yes, it has sexist undertones, but it is not currently as black-and-white sexist as you'd think.
 
2013-08-30 06:24:49 PM

ZeroCorpse: Ummm.. Urban Dictionary is not a real dictionary. Please do not use it to justify a loaded gender-tag. She used "mansplain" to indicate that the writer was OBVIOUSLY stupid BECAUSE he's a man. That equates to bigotry. If she weren't pointing out his male stupidity, she would have used the real word "explain" instead of the bullshiat word "mansplain."


I can't speak for everyone or all fields, but in my field "manslain"ing is real. It's a male dominated field (historically and now) and some guys really do explain things differently to women and to me. They oversimplify and leave off the hard parts for the woman. I didn't notice it (being a man) until a friend pointed it out. So it's a real thing even if the word is stupid, and I can't figure out how it applies in this case, and you're probably right about how the poster used it.

/Apparently I don't do it. I asked.
 
2013-08-30 06:46:49 PM
BlueDuckFarker:
The more y'all hate on it, the more I think this is how every personal ad should be constructed.


I am in agreement with BlueDuckFarker here. I read through this guys post and kept thinking "where is the really bad stuff?" and never got to it. The guy came off a little arrogant, maybe he has a short man complex, but he sounds like he has some education and a job. At least his spelling wasn't atrocious however his over use of quotations and his guarantees was a bit over the top, I get that, but I have seen far worse douche nozzles! He sounds like he knows exactly the type of woman he wants to date and wants to narrow the playing field.

I went through a divorce a few years ago and when I was dating I went through a list of exactly what I was looking for in a mate and I wasn't going to settle for anything less. Of course my dating profile wasn't quite as, narrow, as this guys but ya know maybe he is just tired of dating the wrong women. Personally I would go to a better dating service than Craigslist but I found just as many great dates on the free services as I did on the paid ones. Just a luck of the draw that the right person is looking at the right time.
 
2013-08-30 06:52:24 PM
I am "guessing" that his "higher college degree" was not from an "institution" that admitted "women" or "english teachers".
 
2013-08-30 06:53:17 PM
Us Canadians can get pretty demanding too, fyi.:

Must be able to fetch me a beer! you know, once in a while eh, if you're feeling like it, and I'll open it I don't want you to crack a nail...ahhh..you're a doll! Muaaah, luv ya babe!
 
2013-08-30 06:54:35 PM

heili skrimsli: OgreMagi: The other time I dated a single mom it was too much of a hassle.

How could it not be? Everything that you do is dictated around the kid. Wake up one morning and decide to go spend a couple days just farking off somewhere? Can't. Kid. Want to go out to a movie without planning ahead? Can't. Kid. Go straight from work to a show? Can't. Kid. Spend all day screwing all over the house? Can't. Kid.

A kid is just a giant ball of nope.


I knew that spontaneity would be unlikely, but I didn't think I was unreasonable to expect her to at least try to make grown-up time.  What I have to say to single moms everywhere is, "if you make your kid your entire reason for existence, stop complaining that men aren't interested in dating single moms."
 
2013-08-30 07:28:06 PM
The thing is, he's not just being really specific about what he wants ... That wouldn't invite so much scorn. He's disgusted and disappointed with past failures in online dating, and aiming that firepower at people who have no reason at all to give him the time of day.  You guys saying he's just being specific can't see the anger-baggage?  The most obvious is the "Don't tell me anybody else has an influence on you."  Clearly, this 40 year old wants all the influence over his "mature" 19 year old life partner.

But I could make a list of 10 different types of women who have made him angry.  And he hasn't given a single reason to want to impress him.  So right up front, any woman would know it's gonna be all about not doing any of the things on the "bad" list.  And anyone who doesn't see that ... I gotta think they've met some ATM-grubbing Biatches and "I'm hot, why do you deserve me" types, and are projecting like a MoFo.
 
2013-08-30 07:59:31 PM

mpfjr: I once created a CL ad in the CE section and I described myself in the most disgusting way I could think of.  I pulled a George Costanza, if you recall that scene in Seinfeld "I'm short, bald, unemployed and I live with my parents"  -girl at counter "Hi!"

Well I went even further, describing myself as obese, greasy, pimply, small penis etc.  Then I went on to spell out what I wanted in a girl.  Someone who would do the most disgusting things some of which are illegal in all 50 states.  I said only young hot girls need respond.

So I get about 100 responses from hookers as does anyone who submits an ad, I got two or three legit women who were really ugly but there was ONE GIRL who was actually really hot and seemed legit.  We exchanged emails for a few days. She had a huge humiliation fetish and was willing to do all the sick twisted things I mentioned in the ad.  I even asked her to verify herself by sending me pictures holding up hand written messages to me in the photo.  Sure enough she did.  Eventually she messaged me that she was about 30 minutes away visiting a friend and wanted to get together and do some of the stuff I mentioned.

Thing is.. I don't actually look like I described and I am not into any of the things I suggested. I am attractive, married andmonogamous   The entire thing was just an experiment I conducted while bored at work one day. I wanted to see if anyone legit would actually respond and I wanted to see how far I could take it.  When it got to the point where I had nowhere else to go in theconversation without meeting up, I had to stop communicating with her.

TLDR:  The thing about needles in a haystack is if you use a high powered magnet like the kind dangling from a crane to pick up cars you will find that needle.

P.S. I still have the photos she sent on my flickr account :)


I knew a guy that would take out ads in newspapers for a wife. He was honest about what he was looking for, not over 50 and no kids, but would have to put up with him. During the interviews he would have them look over a 25 page prenup and that would weed out most of them. It was amazing how many responded. He loved his first wife, but was widowed and wasn't into playing games. He was one of these rich boring guys that didn't want to spend time traveling and spending money - just wanted to work his business. I mean, he would take trips, but didn't strike me as being romantic in any way. (This was all spelled out before hand.) His "wife" would get a new car every two years and he would set her up in her own business of her choice that she could run and keep profits from, but would revert back to him if she left. One clause was she could not leave overnight over anger.

I knew one wife that he had a commercial building built for and she had some business she ran that probably didn't make much if anything from. She was a nice lady and they seemed to get along, but I think she finally got tired of him just not changing the way she wanted and "went home to mother" one friday night to get him to think about what she meant to him. The divorce happened on monday and her stuff was shipped to her. A new ad was in the paper the next day, with the interview process starting up again - remarried two weeks later.

I thought he was kind of a jerk at the time, but none of the women really took advantage of the business clause and went for it, always choosing some low profit home knitting business or work at home thing. I think if he would have found an equal an attachment could have been formed. So many marriages are a competition anyway; love, attention, power - he just found a way to cut to the chase and was able to start things where most get to at the 8 year point. I lost track of the guy and I hope he died happy.
 
2013-08-30 10:31:04 PM
Enjoy your single life "Persian/Iranian" dude. Me thinks you will have plenty of time to decide between "Handgela" or "Palmela"

Wow/just wow!
 
2013-08-31 01:09:12 AM

tricycleracer: I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian).

Oh man, I bet he's got a sweet BMW E46 M3.


I just about sharted when I read that.
 
2013-08-31 02:19:26 AM
Hrm, middle-eastern descent?

I see those Taken guys have upped their game.
 
2013-08-31 02:48:15 AM
Nope.  Nope. Nope.  Do not want.  I like not being abused and manipulated.  Most of the time.  Unless I ask for it.
 
2013-08-31 09:07:22 PM
FYI: It has been added to the Best of Craigslist:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/4031578917.html
 
2013-08-31 09:42:54 PM

OgreMagi: Magnanimous_J: hailin: Though I thought the comments on the article about how he was a douche for not dating anyone currently pregnant or who had kids was odd. I flat out refused to date anyone with kids because I didn't want to be a stepmom. I don't think that makes anyone an asshole to realize they just don't want to be parents yet and to look for a partner who is childless.

A lot of the Jezebel crowd seems to think that not wanting to date a single mother is somehow disrespectful. Personally, a woman with kids is a SERIOUS cons list item. It's almost a no go. Not quite, but I'll tell you, if I dated a woman who had kids, she better swallow more wang than a Chinese shipwreck. I'm not raising some other guy's kid without some serious compensation.

I have dated single moms.  I married one.  That didn't turn out all that great.  The other time I dated a single mom it was too much of a hassle.  She could never find time away from her kid.  I actually didn't mind a trip to the ice cream parlor.  It was fun.  But make adult only time, please, because I'm not taking a seven year old to a fancy restaurant.  It was also obvious the kid was acting up whenever I was around. Typically by refusing to go to bed at her regular hour and insisting that she was scared and wanted to sleep with mommy.  Which tends to put a damper on the adult activities.


She didn't want you farking her mom, motherfarker!
 
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