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(WTSP)   So what DO you do when a turkey pees on your patrol car?   (wtsp.com) divider line 44
    More: Amusing, patrol cars, wild turkeys  
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4465 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Aug 2013 at 1:31 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-30 11:44:13 AM
As God is my witness I thought turkeys were bulletproof.
 
2013-08-30 12:31:52 PM
I have no problem with tasteful snoodity.
 
2013-08-30 12:34:43 PM
When I was a kid we had one of those kitchen devices that ran an electrical current through a hot dog to cook it, and I loved 'em. So I'm thinking taser.
 
2013-08-30 01:13:42 PM
You cry fowl, of course. Duh.
 
2013-08-30 01:30:21 PM
Same thing as when a duck pees on your car, but slightly to the left.
 
2013-08-30 01:34:00 PM

Sybarite: When I was a kid we had one of those kitchen devices that ran an electrical current through a hot dog to cook it, and I loved 'em. So I'm thinking taser.


There is such a thing? Huh.
 
2013-08-30 01:35:09 PM
GOBBLES!
 
2013-08-30 01:36:10 PM

JohnAnnArbor: Sybarite: When I was a kid we had one of those kitchen devices that ran an electrical current through a hot dog to cook it, and I loved 'em. So I'm thinking taser.

There is such a thing? Huh.


Follow up question: Why?
 
2013-08-30 01:38:16 PM
I read the headline and immediately thought of Willie from the Touch Tone Terrorists calling a woman a jive turkey.
 
2013-08-30 01:39:40 PM
You make a really nice police meal?
 
2013-08-30 01:40:48 PM

Sybarite: When I was a kid we had one of those kitchen devices that ran an electrical current through a hot dog to cook it, and I loved 'em. So I'm thinking taser.


Yes!  We had one of those too!  That thing was awesome.

SCSB...My dad figured he could improve the design and made his own cooker out of jumper cables and some long nails.  When he hooked it into the barns power supply and hit the breaker we found out that it is indeed possible to turn a hot dog into an explosive.
 
2013-08-30 01:47:17 PM
If you're me, you laugh.
 
2013-08-30 01:49:15 PM
This happened over 2 months ago.  Why is it being reported now?
 
2013-08-30 01:49:26 PM
Pulling one bullet out of the meat is better than a dozen shotgun pellets.
 
2013-08-30 01:49:50 PM

Skyd1v: SCSB...My dad figured he could improve the design and made his own cooker out of jumper cables and some long nails.  When he hooked it into the barns power supply and hit the breaker we found out that it is indeed possible to turn a hot dog into an explosive.


Thank you, this just made my day.
 
2013-08-30 01:50:15 PM
Was it a jive turkey?

076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com
 
2013-08-30 01:50:22 PM
Respect my authorturkey?
 
2013-08-30 01:50:32 PM
Reprimanded?  What would we get, unlawful discharge of a firearm in a public place and possible loss of carry permit (unsure of TN laws).

Skyd1v: Sybarite: When I was a kid we had one of those kitchen devices that ran an electrical current through a hot dog to cook it, and I loved 'em. So I'm thinking taser.

Yes!  We had one of those too!  That thing was awesome.

SCSB...My dad figured he could improve the design and made his own cooker out of jumper cables and some long nails.  When he hooked it into the barns power supply and hit the breaker we found out that it is indeed possible to turn a hot dog into an explosive.


I don't know what to say about this post.  While I find this amusing, I have to wonder if any of your clan has gained someone a greened thread.
 
2013-08-30 01:50:39 PM
Tasering, followed by pepper spraying for seasoning...

/we got a flock of jive turkeys strutting around our neighborhood, pecking cars and chasing people.
 
2013-08-30 01:51:16 PM
Birds don't pee.....you can't milk them either.
 
2013-08-30 01:51:40 PM
If I asked you if this was a real American police incident, or an un-used reno 911 clip, could you guess which one?

And why isn't this guy fired?
 
2013-08-30 01:52:32 PM
AMATEUR!!!
 
2013-08-30 01:53:28 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-08-30 01:54:38 PM
So what DO you do when a turkey pees on your patrol car?

First you call home and tell your spouse to preheat the oven to 325ºF.   Then you start shooting.
 
2013-08-30 01:56:10 PM

Enemabag Jones: If I asked you if this was a real American police incident, or an un-used reno 911 clip, could you guess which one?

And why isn't this guy fired?


You can't fire your only detective.
 
2013-08-30 01:56:32 PM
I'd move the car.
/ex pig
 
2013-08-30 01:57:45 PM

Skyd1v: Sybarite: When I was a kid we had one of those kitchen devices that ran an electrical current through a hot dog to cook it, and I loved 'em. So I'm thinking taser.

Yes!  We had one of those too!  That thing was awesome.

SCSB...My dad figured he could improve the design and made his own cooker out of jumper cables and some long nails.  When he hooked it into the barns power supply and hit the breaker we found out that it is indeed possible to turn a hot dog into an explosive.


Your last name isn't Taylor or Green, is it?
 
2013-08-30 01:57:46 PM
Did they take his gun, seize all his money and valuables, cite him for hunting without a license, hunting with a weapon not legal for taking turkeys, hunting out of season, and warn him that if he had been in his personal vehicle that would have been seized as well? You know, like a citizen?
 
2013-08-30 01:57:49 PM
img4-3.myrecipes.timeinc.net
 
2013-08-30 01:59:29 PM
I came out one day to find a turkey sitting on my Harley.  Fortunately, he hadn't popped or anything.  From that day on, whenever I saw the wild turkeys I would gun the engine and aim straight for them.  I wasn't trying to hurt them.  I was teaching them to be afraid of my Harley.  Not long after that I finally got an actual garage (waiting list in my apartment complex) so i didn't have to worry about them.
 
2013-08-30 02:02:16 PM
I'm not clicking on the article unless someone tells me that the story ends with a turkey dinner.
 
2013-08-30 02:05:32 PM
UsikFark
Looked it up further:
Link

Turns out the detective that turned him in was demoted and then resigned.
Former Sheriff's Detective Terry Chandler said in an interview Wednesday that he was the author of the Facebook post about the incident and the anonymous tipster to the Herald.

I have nothing positive to say about what passes for law enforcement in the United States.
The decent people are being shiat out and the crazies are circling into an us v. them circlejerk.
 
2013-08-30 02:08:34 PM

Thurston Howell: So what DO you do when a turkey pees on your patrol car?

First you call home and tell your spouse to preheat the oven to 325ºF.   Then you start shooting.


Actually tell her to get a big pot of water to boiling (to dunk the carcass in and loosen the feathers to make it easier to pluck), then soak the bird overnight in a solution of beer and a bit of garlic, the next morning preheat the oven, drain the bird and lay bacon inside it (top and bottom of the cavity) then stuff it with your favorite stuffing and cook till the bird is golden brown, scoop out stuffing and remove the bacon (fry the bacon crispy and crumble it on salad) carve bird and pig out
 
2013-08-30 02:13:46 PM
www.theblindcard.com 

WHAT?!? Jethro said Tom back there was a turkey. We found him hiding behind a Wal-Mart shopper.

 
2013-08-30 02:15:18 PM

Odd Bird: Reprimanded?  What would we get, unlawful discharge of a firearm in a public place and possible loss of carry permit (unsure of TN laws).

Skyd1v: Sybarite: When I was a kid we had one of those kitchen devices that ran an electrical current through a hot dog to cook it, and I loved 'em. So I'm thinking taser.

Yes!  We had one of those too!  That thing was awesome.

SCSB...My dad figured he could improve the design and made his own cooker out of jumper cables and some long nails.  When he hooked it into the barns power supply and hit the breaker we found out that it is indeed possible to turn a hot dog into an explosive.

I don't know what to say about this post.  While I find this amusing, I have to wonder if any of your clan has gained someone a greened thread.


I wouldn't be surprised.  "Hold my (beverage of choice) and watch this!" has been uttered a time or two.
 
2013-08-30 02:21:41 PM

Pribar: Actually tell her to get a big pot of water to boiling (to dunk the carcass in and loosen the feathers to make it easier to pluck), then soak the bird overnight in a solution of beer and a bit of garlic, the next morning preheat the oven, drain the bird and lay bacon inside it (top and bottom of the cavity) then stuff it with your favorite stuffing and cook till the bird is golden brown, scoop out stuffing and remove the bacon (fry the bacon crispy and crumble it on salad) carve bird and pig out


I'm going to your house for dinner.
 
2013-08-30 02:25:42 PM

Thurston Howell: Pribar: Actually tell her to get a big pot of water to boiling (to dunk the carcass in and loosen the feathers to make it easier to pluck), then soak the bird overnight in a solution of beer and a bit of garlic, the next morning preheat the oven, drain the bird and lay bacon inside it (top and bottom of the cavity) then stuff it with your favorite stuffing and cook till the bird is golden brown, scoop out stuffing and remove the bacon (fry the bacon crispy and crumble it on salad) carve bird and pig out

I'm going to your house for dinner.


Are you the pig or the turkey?
 
2013-08-30 02:26:45 PM

PWildcat: Was it a jive turkey?

[076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcd n .com image 720x480]


YEAH!
 
2013-08-30 02:32:31 PM

Skyd1v: SCSB...My dad figured he could improve the design and made his own cooker out of jumper cables and some long nails.  When he hooked it into the barns power supply and hit the breaker we found out that it is indeed possible to turn a hot dog into an explosive.


Video or it didn't happen!

/ I don't disbelieve you
// I just want video
 
2013-08-30 02:52:06 PM
www.theblindcard.com
 
2013-08-30 03:02:51 PM

JohnAnnArbor: Sybarite: When I was a kid we had one of those kitchen devices that ran an electrical current through a hot dog to cook it, and I loved 'em. So I'm thinking taser.

There is such a thing? Huh.



img0.etsystatic.com
 
2013-08-30 04:35:24 PM

Skyd1v: Sybarite: When I was a kid we had one of those kitchen devices that ran an electrical current through a hot dog to cook it, and I loved 'em. So I'm thinking taser.

Yes!  We had one of those too!  That thing was awesome.

SCSB...My dad figured he could improve the design and made his own cooker out of jumper cables and some long nails.  When he hooked it into the barns power supply and hit the breaker we found out that it is indeed possible to turn a hot dog into an explosive.


Ya know, I've had a really crappy and stressful week. This cracked me the hell up.

Kudos, good sir or madam.
 
2013-08-30 04:50:46 PM
Subby needs to do some more research on bird excretion. Dummy.
 
2013-08-30 05:48:59 PM
What do you do?  You contact your local university and praise baby Jesus for the miraculous peeing bird that Darwin predicted, but was never able to find.
 
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