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(Some Guy)   Yet another teen paranormal romance book just came out. This time its about a girl and...Cthulhu?   (serraelinsen.com) divider line 37
    More: Strange, Cthulhu, romance, teen fiction, H.P. Lovecraft, Necronomicon, sea monsters  
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2234 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 30 Aug 2013 at 7:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-30 07:28:10 AM
oi43.tinypic.com
 
Skr
2013-08-30 07:39:30 AM
Would be quite maddening if this is what it takes for a big screen Cthulhu film to take off.
/team shoggoth!
 
2013-08-30 07:39:57 AM
Sure. Why not. Insanity has already been a theme for a while.
 
2013-08-30 07:41:38 AM
Aiming for the Twilight Hammer crowd?
 
2013-08-30 07:44:30 AM
I got her an Eldritch Abomination. Biatches love Eldritch Abominations.
 
2013-08-30 07:45:41 AM
Having seen a burlesque show in which one of the performers was in a Cthulhu costume, I can't say that this idea surprises me.

/Finally knew what it felt like to lose SAN that night
 
2013-08-30 07:49:05 AM
South Park did it first. And better.

/Saaaaaawwww-reeeeeeee
 
2013-08-30 07:52:41 AM
Awwww, dude, she told me she was 18.
 
2013-08-30 07:54:54 AM
Anime is so 90s.
 
2013-08-30 08:05:36 AM
So Cthulu will be the next Edward Cullen?
 
2013-08-30 08:31:01 AM
I think I've seen juuust enough hentai to know where this is going...
 
2013-08-30 08:32:31 AM
This story sounds incredibly lame but curiosity might compel me to read it for the same reasons I would watch a train wreck.
 
2013-08-30 08:38:07 AM
I don't really know how to feel right now.
 
2013-08-30 08:39:56 AM
Uu! Nyaa!
 
2013-08-30 08:41:56 AM
She'll be coming down to R'lyeh when he comes...
 
2013-08-30 08:59:34 AM

OtherLittleGuy: South Park did it first. And better.

/Saaaaaawwww-reeeeeeee


1.bp.blogspot.com

"My name is the little Coon!  What is your name?"
 
2013-08-30 09:32:36 AM
I might read this for the lulz, but a bottle of Writer's Tears would probably be a necessary part of the experience
 
2013-08-30 09:51:54 AM
And another horror monster ruined by the YA genre.
 
2013-08-30 09:54:50 AM
another tween chick and her magical vagina blah blah blah
because no one has ever loved like her before blah blah blah
 
2013-08-30 10:45:42 AM

Pants full of macaroni!!: OtherLittleGuy: South Park did it first. And better.

/Saaaaaawwww-reeeeeeee

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 624x352]

"My name is the little Coon!  What is your name?"

"I...... CAN'T....... DIE!!!


/best retcon of a running joke
 
2013-08-30 10:50:15 AM
Heres a sample of chapter six that was posted the authors website:

http://serraelinsen.com/2013/07/25/a-sample-of-awoken/

And heres the author:
serraelinsen.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-08-30 10:51:22 AM
This is a prank.  A fat chick with kids and no sense of irony writing a 'Twilight' knockoff with the most ridiculous horror concept to make into a teen romance.  And her social media footprint begins in May of this year.

And there's a fishing hook on the left of her webpage. Trollbait.
 
2013-08-30 11:05:55 AM

Darth Macho: This is a prank.  A fat chick with kids and no sense of irony writing a 'Twilight' knockoff with the most ridiculous horror concept to make into a teen romance.  And her social media footprint begins in May of this year.

And there's a fishing hook on the left of her webpage. Trollbait.


I can't tell if this makes me want to read it more or not.
 
2013-08-30 11:36:41 AM
For those who don't want to click the link, heres a summary:

Andromeda Slate, the self-proclaimed most ordinary girl in America, can't figure out why the gorgeous but mysterious new boy at high school seems to hate her so much. It couldn't have anything to do with the strange dream she had the night before he first showed up in class, could it? The dream where the very same boy rescued her from a giant, green, tentacled sea monster?

And it couldn't have anything to do with that time she read aloud from that ancient tome of eldritch magic, the Necronomicon... could it?

Andi Slate never imagined she'd find herself in a situation where somehow she was the key to saving the world.
Her life is about to get a whole lot less ordinary.
 
2013-08-30 11:36:49 AM
Gibbs  Rule #36: If you feel like you are being played, you probably are.
 
2013-08-30 12:58:05 PM
A possible excerpt:

"As I looked deeply into his non-Euclidian eyes, he parted his lips--all seven triple-sets of them--and he formed a gentle hand from the muciligineous matter of his pulsing, malshapen mass.

"'I cannot love you,' he said, liquid methane tears dripping from eighty bulging, compound eyes. 'For to do so would surely cost you your mind.'

"'I don't care!' I said, fervently. 'Without you, I have no mind at all!'"

Then she tripped and fell in front of the class.
 
2013-08-30 01:00:43 PM
Another teen romance book that f*cking RUINS something cool.
 
2013-08-30 01:42:22 PM
This is Nostalgia Chick's group project, isn't it? They've been doing vlogs on writing it for over six months.
 
2013-08-30 01:53:31 PM

shaucker: This is Nostalgia Chick's group project, isn't it? They've been doing vlogs on writing it for over six months.


Hey shaucker...

copiabubble.com
 
2013-08-30 02:06:58 PM

Cheater71: Heres a sample of chapter six that was posted the authors website:

http://serraelinsen.com/2013/07/25/a-sample-of-awoken/

And heres the author:
[serraelinsen.files.wordpress.com image 200x290]


And there's your eldritch horror right there, particularly if you're walking behind her at Target.
 
2013-08-30 02:17:05 PM
Yeah this is all a gag, folks. This was conceived as a parody by a woman named Lindsay Ellis a.k.a The Nostalgia Chick. It's nothing worth getting upset about. Check out her "50 Shades of Green" vlogs about it.
 
2013-08-30 03:11:33 PM
Lovecraftian horror meets.....Twilight-esque teen angst?

....................

img.pandawhale.com
 
2013-08-30 08:00:44 PM
You wanted soul-crushing despair and madness inducing horror? You got it... Shame it never comes out how you expected.
 
2013-08-30 10:29:09 PM

Mentalpatient87: I think I've seen juuust enough hentai to know where this is going...


i.imgflip.com
 
2013-08-30 10:42:42 PM

Lazakesau: Yeah this is all a gag, folks. This was conceived as a parody by a woman named Lindsay Ellis a.k.a The Nostalgia Chick. It's nothing worth getting upset about. Check out her "50 Shades of Green" vlogs about it.


Obviously. No person who tweets this:

Did you ever notice that if you put your eyes close to a TV it's just little red, blue and green squares? Amazing, life's little details.

also possesses intimate knowledge and fan interest in H.P. Lovecraft's mythos. Fat housewives wouldn't read horror stories with big words from their grandparents' era and Lovecraft fans wouldn't write about Cthulhu falling in love (especially considering there's already Deep One-Human sex relations they could mine instead of debasing the Great Old Ones).

It's an exercise in maddening people and nothing good will come of it.
 
2013-08-31 08:13:51 AM
Obvious troll is obvious. But still funny.

I mean, really.. guy's name is Riley, how lazy is that. R'lyeh.
 
2013-08-31 09:03:38 AM

OtherLittleGuy: South Park did it first. And better.

/Saaaaaawwww-reeeeeeee


Ghastly did it.

/before South Park did
 
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