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(Fark)   Let's play, "Whose Fark is it Anyways" The game where the participants are silly and the power rankings mean nothing. Today's topic: Things not to say on a first date   (fark.com) divider line 607
    More: Silly  
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3534 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Aug 2013 at 4:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



607 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-29 09:31:12 PM  
"Hey, I think I'm feeling a bit stuffed up. If I give you the money, will you buy me some Sudafed?"
 
2013-08-29 09:46:04 PM  

Witness99: I don't know if you've done any "Internet sleuthing", haha, uh, but there's this other girl with my name...I get blamed for her shiat all the time.


Does this "other girl" have your toes? You have already given enough info to help Farkers decide. Time to put up.
 
2013-08-29 09:53:11 PM  
How come Match.com and AdultfriendFinder took you to collections? It doesn't look anything like your Fark profile either.
 
2013-08-29 09:56:02 PM  

Delay: Witness99: I don't know if you've done any "Internet sleuthing", haha, uh, but there's this other girl with my name...I get blamed for her shiat all the time.

Does this "other girl" have your toes? You have already given enough info to help Farkers decide. Time to put up.


You need some TIE or something? (I just made that up you know, about black sock threads and shrimping).
 
2013-08-29 09:57:29 PM  
My dad calls me "The Twerkinator"!
 
2013-08-29 10:08:30 PM  
So, my mother died recently, and I inherited her sex toys. *wink*
 
2013-08-29 10:16:28 PM  
My boyfriend likes to watch but my husband doesn't.

Can't wait to read this thread!
 
2013-08-29 10:20:12 PM  
"This is my date, Sue!"

/"Jan!", said my date...
 
2013-08-29 10:25:29 PM  
So. You.... wanna get out of here and catch a Channing Tatum movie?
 
2013-08-29 10:26:20 PM  
"So the whole purpose of this date is to turn me straight. You might be hot enough; we'll have to see."
 
2013-08-29 10:31:52 PM  
"Let's not turn this rape into a murder."
 
2013-08-29 10:34:39 PM  
*nod of approval* "You look fit to bear my children."
 
2013-08-29 10:35:00 PM  

The Dogs of War: Let's not turn this rape into a murder


/I don't go on dates too often...


Dammit, should have read the thread first. Oh well.
 
2013-08-29 10:38:20 PM  

Buggar: That'll do pig.


Lol'd
 
2013-08-29 10:51:47 PM  
Death from above!
 
2013-08-29 10:52:17 PM  
I put on my robe and wizard hat...

/ cant believe i was the first one with this!
 
2013-08-29 10:57:38 PM  
I live on the floor at my Uncles mattress store.
 
2013-08-29 11:02:50 PM  
i want to get you naked and lick you clean like a cat.
 
2013-08-29 11:04:00 PM  
just the tip
 
2013-08-29 11:14:02 PM  

Spoon over Marin: It's a cigarette burn, not a herpe.


So that is how you singularize herpes....
 
2013-08-29 11:15:15 PM  
I recently had an abortion...

A woman told me that on our first (and only) date, during dinner. Whenever that certain restaurant we ate at comes up in conversation, that date comes to mind.
 
2013-08-29 11:15:52 PM  
Oh that?  That is just my wife calling and checking up on me.  Stoopid bit.
 
2013-08-29 11:17:21 PM  
You ever have a purple mushroom tattoo on your cheek?
 
2013-08-29 11:19:04 PM  
There is no bugs in my home, apart from spiders. I use them for pest control. Wazzat? Your place? Ok.
 
2013-08-29 11:24:19 PM  
You'll get over it.
 
2013-08-29 11:52:13 PM  
This may seem out of left field, but, do you remember the chemicals that the Heaven's Gate people mixed into their pudding? I can never seem to get the mixture right and usually just wind up in the hospital.
 
2013-08-29 11:56:12 PM  
"YOU'RE A HOOKER!?!?!?"
"Oh, jesus, I forgot."
 
2013-08-30 12:06:04 AM  
"I pooped a little!"
 
2013-08-30 12:16:11 AM  

Deedeemarz: Spoon over Marin: It's a cigarette burn, not a herpe.

So that is how you singularize herpes....


we don't get french benefits?
 
2013-08-30 12:56:07 AM  
I only have to take the antibiotics for two more days, then we can do it bareback
 
2013-08-30 12:58:32 AM  
Don't worry ... before she passed my mom said if you're a good Christian these lesions likely won't infect you.

Would you like to see her?
 
2013-08-30 01:31:13 AM  
Ho Stato orriblilmente mutilato in un trano relitto prego sparami.

I have been horribly mangled in a trainwreck.Please shoot me.

//Leave the gun,grab the cannoli
 
2013-08-30 01:41:15 AM  
A boy's best friend is his mother.
 
2013-08-30 02:24:30 AM  
laH ridges jIchopbej?
 
2013-08-30 03:04:06 AM  
My sister's boyfriend did some electrical work at the house next to Zach Galifankises house.
 
2013-08-30 03:16:48 AM  

Skr: Let's go back to my place and watch some anime


so long as it's not Naruto or Inuyasha, you may have a deal.
 
2013-08-30 04:52:42 AM  
"In my fraternity, we put a hidden camera in the toilet. It was my job to make the "best of" video.  Good times!"
 
2013-08-30 06:50:53 AM  
Do you come here often?
 
2013-08-30 09:02:05 AM  

specialkae: I have Daddy issues.  Will you spank me?


Sit on my lap and let's talk about this.
 
2013-08-30 10:08:11 AM  

vudukungfu: specialkae: I have Daddy issues.  Will you spank me?

Sit on my lap and let's talk about this.


See what pops up?
 
2013-08-30 10:15:53 AM  
... So then I saw "Well we call ourselves the Aristorcrats"
 
2013-08-30 10:23:37 AM  
Mom?
 
2013-08-30 10:28:06 AM  
Hi, Those shoes aren't going to work for tonight. I'll give you a 10 second head start .... 1 - 2 - 3 ... MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR!!!
 
2013-08-30 10:29:19 AM  
You know, you'll probably rip that dress getting in my coffin.
 
2013-08-30 10:31:50 AM  
My dolls probably won't like you.
 
2013-08-30 10:34:39 AM  
Can I cook you for breakfast?
 
2013-08-30 10:45:33 AM  
I'd ask you on a second date but those pictures I took of you in the bathroom should do me just fine
 
2013-08-30 12:45:20 PM  
I like my women like I like my coffee: full of my own semen.
 
2013-08-30 01:08:39 PM  
So, what's your blood type?
 
2013-08-30 03:28:26 PM  
Last Man Standing?

/runs
 
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