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(Fark)   Let's play, "Whose Fark is it Anyways" The game where the participants are silly and the power rankings mean nothing. Today's topic: Things not to say on a first date   (fark.com) divider line 607
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3528 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Aug 2013 at 4:47 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



607 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-29 06:20:24 PM
What's your favorite color of condom?
 
2013-08-29 06:22:20 PM
" You know, when we get married my parents will buy us a house."

" I don't do anal, but I will with you 'cause I'm not sure I want kids with you"

" Look, my friend set this up. What say I just blow you and we can tell her that the chemistry just wasn't there"

" I'm HIV positive, so don't try to go down on me"

/and people wanted to know why I was single for so long.
 
2013-08-29 06:22:22 PM
I told my friend I was totally going to surf the brown curl with my long board...
Herpies? naw babe, thats just speed bumps ... of love....
Wanna Slay my jabberwoky?
 
2013-08-29 06:23:10 PM
What flavor roofies do you like?
 
2013-08-29 06:26:25 PM
I'm wanted in Colorado for Grand Theft Auto.
Don't worry, they can never prove it.

/unfortunately true story
//night ended outrunning the police
///first and last date
 
2013-08-29 06:26:45 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Hello, I'm Drew Curtis.


And the thread didn't end here????
 
2013-08-29 06:27:38 PM
I want 6 babies.  I just can't wait !
 
2013-08-29 06:29:36 PM
"So, my wife thinks you're really hot..."
 
2013-08-29 06:30:11 PM
I get my dating advice on Fark
 
2013-08-29 06:31:36 PM
Lets see those cankles
 
2013-08-29 06:32:59 PM
"I never finished my college degree, but I have the college loans, so that's something, right?"

CSB:
I went AFROTC and got most of my college tuition paid for.  In exchange, I was on the hook for four years of my life and an exceptionally small chance of injury or death on duty because I wasn't a flyer.  I had a job right out of college and got to travel all over Europe.  I learned to eat, drink, work and sleep with people of many cultures.  At the end of six years (I did two more than I owed), I didn't even have a car loan I owed.
 
2013-08-29 06:33:11 PM
[sobs] Jesus I just can't get the hang of this!
 
2013-08-29 06:34:36 PM
So, what's your Fark handle?
 
2013-08-29 06:36:11 PM
Can you sign this liability waiver?
 
2013-08-29 06:37:05 PM
Don't worry, I was acquitted.
 
2013-08-29 06:37:26 PM
Is your name [your full legal name]?
 
2013-08-29 06:40:35 PM
Does anyone know that you are out with me tonight?
 
2013-08-29 06:40:54 PM
"Yeah, I'll bet.  You want rough?  I'll tell you about rough.

In fact, there ain't nobody in this thread that knows SH*T about rough.

Y'all can all shut the **** up. I'm a DKE and proud of it. I swear to god I went to hell and back to be able to call myself a DKE. I went through some shiat that y'all could never imagine going through.

One of our older brothers is a US Navy Seal and just got back from somewhere in Afghanistan.  He said that he would rather go through basic training and he would rather go back and fight for a week before he would come back and go throughour initiation. Trust me, y'all motherf*ckin **** couldn't handle the sh*t that goes down for 5 minutes...

Go on and hate on my fraternity if you want, I don't give a sh*t, there's nothing I can technically do about it, but I think it's a proven fact that the only reason have for hating on fraternities is that they don't know, or are scared to go through what it takes to be apart of it.

For those of you that don't know, DKE is an active chapter of what is known as the "Skull and Bones" the most secret society in the nation. More secret than the CIA, and possibly the NSA. George Bush, Jr, and Sr, were both Dekes, as well as both the Roosevelts,andGerald Ford.How about THAT?  We had 7 of our leading presidents, more than any other fraternity of common group ever. We were the leading provider for the Civil war, both north and south, we were the first fraternity in the state of Mississippi, as well as Alabama, and Louisiana.

Y'all don't know sh*t about what I've been through, and until you come over and go through what I've been through to call my brothers brothers then **** off. I don't give a **** about anybody on here. So shut the **** up."
 
2013-08-29 06:44:17 PM
whats that smell?Is it you? Really, Its not that its a bad smell per se but its a smell thats hard to ignore , kind of like feet and cheese.Can I smell your feet?
 
2013-08-29 06:47:20 PM
"I'm up for anything, so long as it doesn't involve going within 100' of a elementary school."
 
2013-08-29 06:52:03 PM

Anayalator: "Yeah, I'll bet.  You want rough?  I'll tell you about rough.

In fact, there ain't nobody in this thread that knows SH*T about rough.

Y'all can all shut the **** up. I'm a DKE and proud of it. I swear to god I went to hell and back to be able to call myself a DKE. I went through some shiat that y'all could never imagine going through.

One of our older brothers is a US Navy Seal and just got back from somewhere in Afghanistan.  He said that he would rather go through basic training and he would rather go back and fight for a week before he would come back and go throughour initiation. Trust me, y'all motherf*ckin **** couldn't handle the sh*t that goes down for 5 minutes...

Go on and hate on my fraternity if you want, I don't give a sh*t, there's nothing I can technically do about it, but I think it's a proven fact that the only reason have for hating on fraternities is that they don't know, or are scared to go through what it takes to be apart of it.

For those of you that don't know, DKE is an active chapter of what is known as the "Skull and Bones" the most secret society in the nation. More secret than the CIA, and possibly the NSA. George Bush, Jr, and Sr, were both Dekes, as well as both the Roosevelts,andGerald Ford.How about THAT?  We had 7 of our leading presidents, more than any other fraternity of common group ever. We were the leading provider for the Civil war, both north and south, we were the first fraternity in the state of Mississippi, as well as Alabama, and Louisiana.

Y'all don't know sh*t about what I've been through, and until you come over and go through what I've been through to call my brothers brothers then **** off. I don't give a **** about anybody on here. So shut the **** up."


That would be pretty creepy to say on a first date.

/or anywhere for that matter
//5 minutes of motorboating an old guys nutsack can't be  that bad
 
2013-08-29 06:53:52 PM
"On my last date, I show up to her home and met Chris Hansen."
 
2013-08-29 06:56:10 PM
well excuse me, but the children's menu is the only menu with dinosaur chicken nuggets.
 
2013-08-29 06:59:32 PM
I'm not wearing a bra.
 
2013-08-29 07:05:37 PM

eViLpOpTaRt: I'm not wearing a bra.


I am.
 
2013-08-29 07:06:00 PM
"Are those real?"
 
2013-08-29 07:10:46 PM
My last relationship didn't work out because my husband's very jealous and put my new boyfriend in the hospital. You look almost as strong as him so sure that won't happen to you.
 
2013-08-29 07:11:14 PM
My hawt loins are ablaze for your grandmama's diaper.
 
2013-08-29 07:11:50 PM
all the pages are sticky and my copy of the FHuhFeminine Mystique. Weird Huh?
 
2013-08-29 07:11:57 PM
You remembered bus fare, right?
 
2013-08-29 07:12:33 PM
Farking phone
 
2013-08-29 07:12:47 PM
Some people say crazy cat lady, but I consider myself more of a rescuer. I mean seriously, 26 isn't that many cats...
 
2013-08-29 07:14:24 PM
You didn't say on your profile that you were pregnant!
 
2013-08-29 07:14:45 PM
Do you mind if I call you Captain Meowsers?  It makes me kinda hot.
 
2013-08-29 07:15:19 PM
I want to tongue punch your fart locker.
 
2013-08-29 07:15:57 PM
The doctor says it is just a blister
 
2013-08-29 07:16:12 PM
I'm so glad I'm a man. At my age I already leaking constantly. There's no way I could deal with multiple orgasms. How do you manage to clean up?
 
2013-08-29 07:16:16 PM
It smells like fresh vagina in here!

<Sit down at table>
<Grunt>
"Well, I already orgasmed. Nice to have met you!"
<Leave>
 
2013-08-29 07:17:18 PM
nope never convicted.
 
2013-08-29 07:18:33 PM
you can make a lot of money selling used body parts.
 
2013-08-29 07:20:23 PM
no one ever talks about all the good things meth does
 
2013-08-29 07:24:54 PM
"The ring?  What ring?  Oh, *that* ring.  Aw, for crying out loud, did I forget to take it off *again?*"
 
2013-08-29 07:25:30 PM
Let's not turn this rape into a murder


/I don't go on dates too often...
 
2013-08-29 07:25:48 PM
My blowup sheep doll has a better personality than you.  And I have better conversations with her too.

You should change the color of your bed sheets.  It makes you look pale on the video from the spy camera I installed in your bedroom.
 
2013-08-29 07:26:04 PM
That'll do pig.
 
2013-08-29 07:26:42 PM
Rape isn't really a crime.  No one really means no.
 
2013-08-29 07:27:49 PM
"So how much is it for an hour? Do I get multiple pops?"
 
2013-08-29 07:29:00 PM
Mom?
 
2013-08-29 07:29:35 PM
"I'm on birth control. I promise."
 
2013-08-29 07:31:31 PM

fang06554: Rape isn't really a crime.  No one really means no.


"Did you know that girls who pass out drunk are open invitation to molestation? Here drink more"
 
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