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(Fark)   Let's play, "Whose Fark is it Anyways" The game where the participants are silly and the power rankings mean nothing. Today's topic: Things not to say on a first date   (fark.com) divider line 607
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3540 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Aug 2013 at 4:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-29 04:25:03 PM  
There's a slight, but very real chance that I may need a pint of your blood tonight.
 
2013-08-29 04:25:28 PM  
Sorry I'm gonna have to cut this date short, but I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.
 
2013-08-29 04:25:30 PM  
"You've got bingo wings that won't quit"
 
2013-08-29 04:25:36 PM  
"Let's go back to your place. Don't worry, I know the way."
 
2013-08-29 04:25:52 PM  
Do you have a recent picture of your mother handy?
 
2013-08-29 04:26:19 PM  
[redacted]

Christ, I can be a sicko!
 
2013-08-29 04:26:31 PM  

Spoon over Marin: I'll have the num num lobster


So we are going there? Throw in Zaire, tacos, and homoculus and we might have something.
 
2013-08-29 04:26:32 PM  
Do you love twilight? cause I'm obsessed
 
2013-08-29 04:26:44 PM  
You know what he'd say, don't you?

www.mbird.com
 
2013-08-29 04:26:58 PM  
"I haven't been out much lately, my guild has been really active."
 
2013-08-29 04:27:24 PM  
I'm definitely thinking doggie, if at all.
 
2013-08-29 04:27:34 PM  
"I'mma bang you like I do the macaroni and cheese from Boston Market"!
 
2013-08-29 04:27:36 PM  
"Oh, this is my mom's car"
 
2013-08-29 04:27:55 PM  
I'm going to need the money up front or else my pimp will stab me again.
 
2013-08-29 04:27:59 PM  
And as soon as mom dies I get the upstairs bedroom and the big mattress!
 
2013-08-29 04:28:15 PM  
"Wanna watch porn on my phone while we wait for the appetizer?"
 
2013-08-29 04:28:23 PM  

EviLincoln: "Oh, this is my mom's car"


"Oh, this is my mom's tie"
 
2013-08-29 04:28:40 PM  
"I don't like to brag but I do hold the mid-Atlantic record for most cheddar biscuits consumed at a Red Lobster"!
 
2013-08-29 04:29:00 PM  
You know, I always open up the restaurant menu hoping that they'll be serving long pig. They never do, but a fellow can dream, can't he?
 
2013-08-29 04:29:17 PM  
You don't mind if some of my LARP group tags along, do you?
 
2013-08-29 04:29:20 PM  
So I spend a lot of time on this great website called Fark. Let me tell you all about it!
 
2013-08-29 04:29:35 PM  
"Would you believe it? I got mugged on the way here. No, I'm fine, but it was just crazy and kinda surreal. Say, since they stole my wallet, could you pay for dinner?"
 
2013-08-29 04:29:47 PM  
Wanna go half-sies on a lap dance?
 
2013-08-29 04:29:56 PM  
"The doctor said it was gonorrhea but what does that quack know"?!
 
2013-08-29 04:30:06 PM  
Wow, I really shouldn't have taken that laxative before eating all that Indian food. The toilet looks like the Ganges after a mudslide.
 
2013-08-29 04:30:09 PM  
"Do you know Brandy? She's a slut."
 
2013-08-29 04:30:41 PM  
And since I'm adopted, there's a real chance that we could be brother and sister.
 
2013-08-29 04:30:46 PM  
"I find the smell of urine to be an aphrodisiac, wouldn't you agree"?
 
2013-08-29 04:30:50 PM  
So...what's YOUR cutie mark?
 
2013-08-29 04:30:52 PM  
/At end of meal

What's 5 percent of 16.43?
 
2013-08-29 04:31:22 PM  
"I just pooped...no, like just now"!
 
2013-08-29 04:32:29 PM  
What size is your left ring finger?
 
2013-08-29 04:32:43 PM  
"I really shouldn't be dating this soon out of rehab, but your profile really spoke to me."
 
2013-08-29 04:33:02 PM  
"Are you big into hygiene? I'm kinda sick of it"
 
2013-08-29 04:33:04 PM  
"You have small hands...which is good because that'll make my cock seem bigger".
 
2013-08-29 04:33:52 PM  
You know those guitars that are, like, double guitars?
 
2013-08-29 04:33:55 PM  

James!: "I really shouldn't be dating this soon out of rehab, but your profile really spoke to me."


"By the way, do you have any vicodin?"
 
2013-08-29 04:34:49 PM  
Can I borrow your napkin, I just came.
 
2013-08-29 04:34:55 PM  
"I have a costume in the car, you can change on the way"
 
2013-08-29 04:35:16 PM  
It's a cigarette burn, not a herpe.
 
2013-08-29 04:35:45 PM  
So, have you ever robbed a bank before or are we winging it here?
 
2013-08-29 04:35:52 PM  
Are you really going to wear that?
 
2013-08-29 04:36:07 PM  
You know what, I jerked off in the car so let's just call it a night.
 
2013-08-29 04:36:24 PM  
can you roll a joint?
 
2013-08-29 04:36:58 PM  
"Sorry I'm late, I didn't realize we were coming into the restaurant.  I thought you'd just blow me in my van."
 
2013-08-29 04:37:08 PM  
"Oh, what I do for a living? That's a hard question to answer"
 
2013-08-29 04:37:32 PM  
I find wearing women's panties both sexually exciting and calming at the same time. Guess what color I have on now.
 
2013-08-29 04:37:46 PM  
"How much money do you make? Am I paying for you to suck off of the government's teet?"
 
2013-08-29 04:37:52 PM  
"Are you intimidated by a man in a leather corset?"
 
2013-08-29 04:38:14 PM  
"You remind me of that one Queen song."
 
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