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(Kickstarter)   Uwe Boll goes to Kickstarter to secure funding for Postal 2. Stretch Goals include Uwe Boll not making Postal 2   (kickstarter.com ) divider line 50
    More: Asinine, Kickstarter, Uwe Boll, Jackie Tohn, u.s. politics, Magnum  
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1525 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 Aug 2013 at 3:01 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-29 03:03:53 PM  
Everyone who donates to this needs to be found and crotch punted,
 
2013-08-29 03:04:44 PM  
I thought he was dead.

www.thetallestman.com
 
2013-08-29 03:10:20 PM  
I like how there is a BloodRayne poster behind him to assure people that he is a quality filmmaker and will most certainly make a great movie for all to enjoy.
 
2013-08-29 03:11:31 PM  
Can you make a Kickstarter project to raise funds for ending the lives of people who make sh*tty films?
 
2013-08-29 03:11:48 PM  

Snapper Carr: Everyone who donates to this needs to be found and crotch punted,


Incidentally, this is the plot for the movie
 
2013-08-29 03:13:09 PM  
In before "Rampage" praise.

/ pointless, contrived vomit-cam shiat with terrible acting and a stodgy plot with a silly twist ending.
// in other words, a masterpiece by Boll's standard
 
2013-08-29 03:13:49 PM  
I think the original Postal is a "so bad it's good" movie.
 
2013-08-29 03:14:10 PM  

bbfreak: I like how there is a BloodRayne poster behind him to assure people that he is a quality filmmaker and will most certainly make a great movie for all to enjoy.


"I directed Sir Ben Kingsley so I have cred and also the girl from Terminator 3's tits."

Seriously, fark this guy and anyone who runs to Kickstarter to beg for money for a project they could finance themselves.
 
2013-08-29 03:15:19 PM  

I Like Bread: I think the original Postal is a "so bad it's good" movie.


This. Postal was the only of his movies I actually enjoyed or finished.

/not donating
 
2013-08-29 03:19:39 PM  

Snapper Carr: Everyone who donates to this needs to be found and crotch punted,


i0.wp.com
 
2013-08-29 03:20:34 PM  

skozlaw: In before "Rampage" praise.


3.bp.blogspot.com

But it's one of my favorite games ever.
 
2013-08-29 03:24:21 PM  
I enjoyed Postal and would probably see Postal 2 but I have a notoriously bad taste.
 
2013-08-29 03:25:02 PM  
Is Gary Coleman going to be in this one too?
 
2013-08-29 03:27:48 PM  

Mugato: Is Gary Coleman going to be in this one too?


I think watching the exhumation would be more entertaining than sitting through another Postal
 
2013-08-29 03:32:46 PM  
You know, I wasn't paying very close attention this morning, but I could have sworn that when I first saw this, he had more backers and pledges.

Anyhow, this being the internet, I'd be very surprised if this one got crowdfunded with serious intent. I suspect that if it does start to take off, it'll be undone by trolls who cancel their pledges on the last day.

The campaign page itself is so laughably awful (tons of misspellings, terrible jokes and other junior-high level attempts at humor) that I almost didn't believe this was a real thing. But it's confirmed.
 
2013-08-29 03:34:13 PM  

insertsnarkyusername: I Like Bread: I think the original Postal is a "so bad it's good" movie.

This. Postal was the only of his movies I actually enjoyed or finished.


Yup, Postal was  supposed to be offensive, tasteless, dumb, and devoid of any real artistic quality. Uwe Boll was perfect to direct it. It's probably the best video game movie -- not in terms of quality as a stand-alone work, but in actually staying true to the video game upon which it was based -- that's been made.
 
2013-08-29 03:37:20 PM  
Good one, subby. I actually went looking for that stretch goal... Because I wouldn't put it past him. Uwe Boll could give any internet troll hardcore lessons.
 
2013-08-29 03:39:05 PM  
Also, the type of people who would help fund this are the same ones responsible for SWAP.avi
 
2013-08-29 03:40:24 PM  

that bosnian sniper: insertsnarkyusername: I Like Bread: I think the original Postal is a "so bad it's good" movie.

This. Postal was the only of his movies I actually enjoyed or finished.

Yup, Postal was  supposed to be offensive, tasteless, dumb, and devoid of any real artistic quality. Uwe Boll was perfect to direct it. It's probably the best video game movie -- not in terms of quality as a stand-alone work, but in actually staying true to the video game upon which it was based -- that's been made.


Ahem, Mortal Kombat would like a word with you.

/Not the second one though, that one's a cinematic abortion
 
2013-08-29 03:50:03 PM  
Backed.  I liked Postal.

Always surprised by the hate for the guy.  He isn't a good filmmaker, but the rage should really be directed at the license holders that don't give a crap about how the IPs are portrayed.
 
2013-08-29 03:52:08 PM  
Postal was actually ok, Dave Foley full frontal aside.

Say what you will about Uwe Boll, but what other director would film a shot for shot parody of his own movie concurrently with most of the same actors.

/watched assault on wall street last week, that was also pretty ok
 
2013-08-29 04:04:47 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: Mugato: Is Gary Coleman going to be in this one too?

I think watching the exhumation would be more entertaining than sitting through another Postal


Will there be a scene where Uwe Boll puts his hand in Gary Coleman's skull and tries to say "whatchoo talkin' bout Willis" in a horrible German accent while moving the jaw up and down like a puppet? If so, here's my life savings.
 
2013-08-29 04:08:11 PM  
Cagey B: "whatchoo talkin' bout Willis" in a horrible German accent

"Vee haf weys off making you talk, Herr Willis."
 
2013-08-29 04:09:30 PM  
Can we chalk the insane ramblings he has on that page up to attention whoring, or is this going to be a Truther movie?
 
2013-08-29 04:10:00 PM  
Quick someone make a crowd funding drive to: "pay Uwe Boll not to make Postal 2". I'm curious which would raise more money.
 
2013-08-29 04:13:43 PM  
Did anyone actually read the page?  It's... how do I put it... unusual.
 
2013-08-29 04:17:19 PM  
i.qkme.me
 
2013-08-29 04:26:45 PM  

Snapper Carr: Everyone who donates to this needs to be found and crotch punted,


teufelaffe.com
Would you settle for cock punches?
 
2013-08-29 04:40:50 PM  
I thought Kickstarter was for indie and amateur projects. People who don't have the capital or the contacts to acquire the capital.

Say what you want about Uwe Boll, but he is a professional filmmaker with money/studio backing, so why is he kickstarting this?

Same thing with Veronica Mars, Shroud of the Avatar, etc.... these are all big production houses with ready-made finances, they don't need to kickstart anything. But they've found a way to pay for their projects without using their own money, so I guess that's what matters.
 
2013-08-29 04:50:41 PM  

Ishkur: Say what you want about Uwe Boll, but he is a professional filmmaker with money/studio backing, so why is he kickstarting this?


Because his studios were using his project essentially as tax write offs for wealthy German clients and Hollywood got sick of his shiat
 
2013-08-29 04:56:07 PM  
I thought that said "Portal 2" for a second. I do not want Uwe Boll anywhere near the Portal franchise.
 
2013-08-29 04:56:41 PM  
I also thought Postal was hilarious. It's strange because the game sickened me. Yes, I know they had very little to do with each other.
 
2013-08-29 05:00:54 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: Ishkur: Say what you want about Uwe Boll, but he is a professional filmmaker with money/studio backing, so why is he kickstarting this?

Because his studios were using his project essentially as tax write offs for wealthy German clients and Hollywood got sick of his shiat


Yeah but he has to have $500k on his own to finance this. He couldn't have put that much up his nose.
 
2013-08-29 05:01:31 PM  
The funny thing is, if Uwe Boll was crapping out SyFy originals, people would probably love him for it.  I'm still not sure why people are still funding him to make low budget crap based off video games.  They all pretty much flop.  After checking a few, I only found one that made its budget back at the box office.  Maybe he's got some sort of scam running a la The Producers.
 
2013-08-29 05:06:06 PM  

Ghastly: I thought that said "Portal 2" for a second. I do not want Uwe Boll anywhere near the Portal franchise.


Glad I wasn't the only person who read Postal 2 as Portal 2...
 
2013-08-29 05:09:36 PM  

NewWorldDan: The funny thing is, if Uwe Boll was crapping out SyFy originals, people would probably love him for it.  I'm still not sure why people are still funding him to make low budget crap based off video games.  They all pretty much flop.  After checking a few, I only found one that made its budget back at the box office.  Maybe he's got some sort of scam running a la The Producers.


It had to do with some German tax loophole about producing movies, I don't know the specifics.

As for SyFy Original movies, they're pretty much universally hated except for the recent Sharknado, which became a one time internet thing that people are already tired of.
 
2013-08-29 05:13:12 PM  

NewWorldDan: The funny thing is, if Uwe Boll was crapping out SyFy originals, people would probably love him for it.  I'm still not sure why people are still funding him to make low budget crap based off video games.  They all pretty much flop.  After checking a few, I only found one that made its budget back at the box office.  Maybe he's got some sort of scam running a la The Producers.


That's pretty much it.  Boll-KG and Event Film may as well be "Bialystock and Boll".
 
2013-08-29 05:13:12 PM  

NewWorldDan: The funny thing is, if Uwe Boll was crapping out SyFy originals, people would probably love him for it.  I'm still not sure why people are still funding him to make low budget crap based off video games.  They all pretty much flop.  After checking a few, I only found one that made its budget back at the box office.  Maybe he's got some sort of scam running a la The Producers.


Use to be because of a german tax law that made it so they effectively had 0 risk in his movies (every euro lost could be deducted from their taxes). Now not so much. It was like playing the lotto with free tickets, why not. He was one of the few people actually using the law as it was intended, but it was being abused others so germany removed it.
 
2013-08-29 05:23:33 PM  

Mugato: IdBeCrazyIf: Ishkur: Say what you want about Uwe Boll, but he is a professional filmmaker with money/studio backing, so why is he kickstarting this?

Because his studios were using his project essentially as tax write offs for wealthy German clients and Hollywood got sick of his shiat

Yeah but he has to have $500k on his own to finance this. He couldn't have put that much up his nose.


Spike Lee probably has 1.25 million dollars, and that hasn't stopped him from using kickstarter.  Ditto Zach Braff.  It's become an additional funding source.
 
2013-08-29 05:28:12 PM  

Lumbar Puncture: Spike Lee probably has 1.25 million dollars, and that hasn't stopped him from using kickstarter.  Ditto Zach Braff.  It's become an additional funding source.


I didn't say that Uwe was the only one who's doing this. I just don't think that's what Kickstarter was supposed to be about, millionaires who could easily fund their own shiat. But why not see what I can squeeze out of the public anyway?
 
2013-08-29 05:40:47 PM  

Mugato: Lumbar Puncture: Spike Lee probably has 1.25 million dollars, and that hasn't stopped him from using kickstarter.  Ditto Zach Braff.  It's become an additional funding source.

I didn't say that Uwe was the only one who's doing this. I just don't think that's what Kickstarter was supposed to be about, millionaires who could easily fund their own shiat. But why not see what I can squeeze out of the public anyway?


I didn't mean to imply that I thought it was cool either.  I agree it's kind of shiatty, I guess it's easier to get money from people who aren't really getting any of the benefits of being an investor.
 
2013-08-29 05:49:41 PM  
I like his movies. They're good for when you're really drunk.
 
2013-08-29 06:10:11 PM  
Props to Learned Hand Job for baby's first greenlit. Not a bad subby at all, either.
 
2013-08-29 06:22:54 PM  

bbfreak: I like how there is a BloodRayne poster behind him to assure people that he is a quality filmmaker and will most certainly make a great movie for all to enjoy.


Admit it, Bloodrayne had a few redeeming qualities.

Namely Kristanna Loken's twins.
 
2013-08-29 06:27:55 PM  
seriously, how can anyone dislike the guy after this?
 
2013-08-29 06:41:31 PM  
I thought it said "Portal" and got me all excited....

Even if it was by Uwe Boll I'd still love to see a Portal movie...
 
2013-08-29 08:47:22 PM  
fark yeah!

Watch this haters.

I dare you.
 
2013-08-29 10:23:18 PM  
Did they close the tax loophole that got him the "backers" to make his craptastic films in the first place then?

If it's any consolation I did a few scathing reviews on the Interwebs in hopes of getting picked for his "challenge" but apparently Lowtax was a better fit for him...
 
2013-08-30 12:12:09 AM  

Iczer: bbfreak: I like how there is a BloodRayne poster behind him to assure people that he is a quality filmmaker and will most certainly make a great movie for all to enjoy.

Admit it, Bloodrayne had a few redeeming qualities.

Namely Kristanna Loken's twins.


This.  In a semi-related note, I enjoyed the series Painkiller Jane.  Much better than anything Boll ever did.
 
2013-08-30 04:16:32 AM  
I'd rather see postal 2 than a second season of ain't it cool with harry.. (which is also kickstarting right now.)

/enjoyed the wierd fun that was 'postal'
 
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