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(Opposing Views)   Well known birther, author and Tea Party activist offers life advice: "Sex is not about fun. You want to have fun? Read a book"   (opposingviews.com) divider line 52
    More: Amusing, Tea Party activists, tea party, Jerome Corsi, activists  
•       •       •

7441 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Aug 2013 at 1:05 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-08-29 01:42:49 PM  
16 votes:

Theaetetus: Super homophobic, views sex with women as a not-fun chore... This guy is so far in the closet, he's giving Aslan a handjob.



Super homophobic twit with sex hangups atrocious
shouting about liberals, he always sounds ferocious
Something's really wrong with him, some deep-seated neurosis
super homophobic twit with sex hangups atrocious!

Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

i105.photobucket.com
2013-08-29 11:10:52 AM  
16 votes:
No, sex is pretty damned fun.

Books are fun too, but the paper cuts on my dick make it a bit less fun.
2013-08-29 11:50:07 AM  
7 votes:

Flab: Marcus Aurelius: But now we know. They're going to take God out of the church.

It's already happening.

[convertedchurches.files.wordpress.com image 478x590]


I think I became old the moment I started seeing pictures of stuff like that and not first thinking "That's pretty badass" but instead "Man, that'd cost a lot of heat and cool"

I'm only 30. :(
2013-08-29 01:12:26 PM  
6 votes:
He's got a point.

I'm just wondering when exactly he farked my wife.
2013-08-29 12:04:25 PM  
6 votes:
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
2013-08-29 10:52:05 AM  
6 votes:
"Old man yells at cloud, is bad at sex."
2013-08-29 01:19:47 PM  
5 votes:

FlashHarry: cameroncrazy1984: Aarontology: Also, a tea partier saying you should read a book?

lulz.

Of course, it must be Tea Party-approved and contain very small words and no sex whatsoever.

THE ONLY BOOK I NEED WAS WRITTEN BY JESUS


I'm waiting for the sequel.It hopefully will tie up all the loose ends from the first book.
2013-08-29 11:57:28 AM  
5 votes:
For all the chaos and disorganization, at least pagans enjoy the hell outta sex. So we've got that going for us. Which is nice.
2013-08-29 01:47:11 PM  
4 votes:
"Hey, don't take my word for it! Just ask Mrs. Corsi!"

www.opposingviews.com
2013-08-29 01:16:26 PM  
4 votes:

QueenMamaBee: I like sex, I like books... just not at the same time


Step 1.) Cut hole in book...
2013-08-29 01:08:05 PM  
3 votes:
Must have one hell of a marriage.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, honey?"

"Heck yeah I am. Moby Dick under the covers."

"I brought the new reading glasses!"
2013-08-29 01:03:30 PM  
3 votes:
i253.photobucket.com


You are going to need to read the part about getting guygurt deposits out of socks thrice.  Trust me on this. It is H.O.T. HOT HOT HOT!

"There will be staining!" Tom Swifty loudly ejaculated.
2013-08-29 12:05:25 PM  
3 votes:

Weaver95: AirForceVet: Weaver95: For all the chaos and disorganization, at least pagans enjoy the hell outta sex. So we've got that going for us. Which is nice.

And I was thinking you were Catholic all this time too.

No, I had to stop lying to myself after Beltane. Other gods were calling and got VERY insistent I should STFU and pay attention. Sounds weird to admit but...yeah. They had a lot to tell me.


What can I say, I'm a talker.
2013-08-29 11:57:31 AM  
3 votes:
Also, a tea partier saying you should read a book?

lulz.
2013-08-29 02:16:42 PM  
2 votes:

flup: Hey OpposingViews,

What does the Bible say about pop-up ads?


"[6] And lo, the third click within the domain* did causeth to appear an apparition, not unlike a house's window, that did shout unto the children of Israel offers of virility potions, [7] and of means to gain immense wealth absent toil, and of depictions of lewdness, [8] and even those of an unintelligible nature, copied by scribes from yet other manuscripts for reasons unknown. [9] Heed not these apparitions, saith the LORD, for they causeth a man infirmities of mind. [10] Acceding their wicked demands will causeth rivers to run dry, and the Earth to swallow its grains, and small confections of wickedness to collect within my holy sanctuary. [11] Bear this evil out from thy midst. I have sent the angels AdBlock and NoScript to aid your service."

*one codex disagrees, written as "TLD"

// The Book of Berners-Lee, chapter 404
2013-08-29 01:36:42 PM  
2 votes:
No, it is definitely fun. When I finally crescendo into a stupefying orgasm that feels like liquid heroin is being spoon fed into my cock, my eyes rolling back into their head, and my voice stuttering and unable to speak it reminds me of all the fun I had coercing this woman to turn her shame cave into a tea cozy for my batter stick.
2013-08-29 01:24:48 PM  
2 votes:
Look at the man.  Old and fat.  Of course he doesn't think it should be fun.  I'm just surprised he didn't use "eating cheese balls" as an example of what is supposed to be fun.


/sex is fun
2013-08-29 01:23:52 PM  
2 votes:
To be fair, I am absolutely certain that sex with Jerome Corsi would not be fun at all.
2013-08-29 01:21:44 PM  
2 votes:

Aarontology: Also, a tea partier saying you should read a book?

lulz.


He meant read The Book.

i.imgur.com
2013-08-29 01:20:07 PM  
2 votes:

urbangirl: I think this is the perfect place for:

Why not both?


Because putting a picture of that girl in this thread would be creepy.
2013-08-29 01:08:26 PM  
2 votes:

Marcus Aurelius: Nadie_AZ: Does this make any sense to anyone? At all?

I have a fundie brother that told me over ten years ago that gays were going to take over the country.  So I asked him what exactly the plan was.  How was this going to affect me.

He didn't seem to have any answers at that point.  But now we know.  They're going to take God out of the church.


What will we do with him afterward? I mean, I can let him crash on my couch for a few days, but then he's gotta find somewhere else to be.
2013-08-29 11:50:47 AM  
2 votes:

Nadie_AZ: He did not.

*reads the f*cking article*

Holy balls. He did. So it he a closet case or someone with a tiny dick?

*keeps reading*

At a conservative event in Oregon earlier this month, Corsi claimed leftist atheists like the American Civil Liberties Union were trying to use same-sex marriage to "take God out of Church." He alleged leftists wanted to make same-sex marriage a constitutional right so that the government could crack down on Christians.

Does this make any sense to anyone? At all?


It makes the same amount of sense as your neighbors Bruce and Bob getting married, followed shortly by a van full of jack-booted thugs kicking in your door and forcing you to dissolve your straight marriage.

And btw, Corsi, the ACLU defends Christians and the likes of the KKK, too. They're only "leftist" when it's something you don't personally like. Hell, they'd defend your sorry ass too if someone were to restrain your right to be an asshole in public. But "ACLU" is one your Pavlovian bells that draws a reaction from retards and therefore frees you of the burden of making an actual argument.

Farking scum. I'm loathe to advocate violence, especially against old people, but one of these days I'm going to punch you right in the dick. Presuming you have one.
2013-08-29 11:44:15 AM  
2 votes:

Marcus Aurelius: But now we know. They're going to take God out of the church.


It's already happening.

convertedchurches.files.wordpress.com
2013-08-29 11:11:46 AM  
2 votes:
A book, you say?
farm6.static.flickr.com
2013-08-29 10:54:07 AM  
2 votes:
I pity the women he's known.
2013-08-30 12:50:49 PM  
1 votes:

HighOnCraic: cameroncrazy1984: QueenMamaBee: I like sex, I like books... just not at the same time

Sometimes I like to flip open a copy of Elias Baseball Records on her back just to prolong things.

That was two o'clock in the morning, and I get my date back to her apartment, and the two of us are alone, and we're going pretty good. I have to explain this very delicately, 'cause it's really tentative. As I... as I am an inordinately...passionate...man. Volatile. Sensual. In general a stud. When making love...when making love...in an effort...to prolong...the moment of ecstacy...I think of baseball players. All right, now you know. The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up. Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal. She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too...I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal. The Giants won.


She shouldn't have screamed "Oh Jesus."
2013-08-29 06:30:48 PM  
1 votes:

eris523: floyd a:

Super homophobic twit with sex hangups atrocious
shouting about liberals, he always sounds ferocious
Something's really wrong with him, some deep-seated neurosis
super homophobic twit with sex hangups atrocious!

Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

this, this is why i love you so much....

/back to lurking


Awww.  I love you too.   Have a nice apple.

i105.photobucket.com
Mmmm.  Yummy, delicious apple.
2013-08-29 03:52:23 PM  
1 votes:

eggrolls: One blow job and I bet he changes his opinion.


Probably, but someone will need to show him how to keep his teeth out of the way.

/unless he wears dentures, in which case, everyone wins
2013-08-29 03:08:40 PM  
1 votes:
Image of Jerome Corsi wife...

thumbs.dreamstime.com
2013-08-29 02:42:08 PM  
1 votes:
GIS:

Fun book porn.  A few really entertaining images off that one, but I think I will go with this one:

datinggoddess.files.wordpress.com

\Which reminds me, the wife asked me to vacuum a few rugs.
2013-08-29 02:31:49 PM  
1 votes:

lockers: Fire Babe: I do Passion Parties for a living and you'd be surprised (or perhaps not) at how many people think that sex is only for procreation and not at all for pleasure. I've run across women who think pleasure from sex is a sin and actively try to avoid orgasm. The Bible belt is a fun place to live!

What is a passion party?


Something she never, ever does in Georgia.
2013-08-29 02:21:49 PM  
1 votes:

I May Be Crazy But...: megarian: Heeeeehehehehe

Oh that was a good read, Subby.

And I do love a good read. Ifyaknowwhatimean.

Andithinkyado.

*shrug*

You like being left alone in the evening with a cup of tea, wearing comfortable sweatpants?


...so YOU'RE the guy with the binoculars!?!?

*waves*
I see you!
2013-08-29 02:20:17 PM  
1 votes:

dahmers love zombie: FloydA: Theaetetus: Super homophobic, views sex with women as a not-fun chore... This guy is so far in the closet, he's giving Aslan a handjob.


Super homophobic twit with sex hangups atrocious
shouting about liberals, he always sounds ferocious
Something's really wrong with him, some deep-seated neurosis
super homophobic twit with sex hangups atrocious!

Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

[i105.photobucket.com image 600x361]

You even got the meter correct.  Thank you.  I loathe it when people do filks of other songs and fark up the meter.


I applaud the effort, but no, the meter, it was not nailed.  Unless you regularly say "hangUP" instead of "HANGup" and UH-bout instead of uh-BOUT, and seat-ED instead of SEAT-ed.

/meter nazi
2013-08-29 02:13:00 PM  
1 votes:

Vodka Zombie: Jebus!  All this guy does is try to sell books.


Large corporations hate him!
2013-08-29 02:11:17 PM  
1 votes:

captcurt: " Tea party activist"?
Oh, right, I'm on Fark. Forgot for a sec.


Yeah, it's politically incorrect to use the "R-word" these days.
2013-08-29 02:08:56 PM  
1 votes:

flup: Hey OpposingViews,

What does the Bible say about pop-up ads?


Nothing.  But the Hadith is very firm on the matter.
2013-08-29 01:51:51 PM  
1 votes:
Came in here to say "you're doing it wrong". I see it's taken care of, but if no one minds I'm just gonna...watch.
2013-08-29 01:43:35 PM  
1 votes:
It almost makes me want to die when he does just to see the look on his face when that whole judgement thing comes about

/almost
F42
2013-08-29 01:41:33 PM  
1 votes:
www.opposingviews.com

" I'm going to be judged on the adherence to God's law. "

Leviticus 19:27

"'Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.


"Do not trim off the hair on your temples or trim your beards.


You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard.


'You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard.


Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.


You are not to cut off the hair at the sides of your head or mar the edge of your beard.


"You are not to cut your hair in ritualistic patterns on your head or deface the edges of your beard.


You must not round off the corners of the hair on your head or ruin the corners of your beard.


Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.


"'You shall not cut the hair on the sides of your heads, neither shall you clip off the edge of your beard.
2013-08-29 01:41:18 PM  
1 votes:
He seems to really care.  About what, I have no idea.
2013-08-29 01:33:00 PM  
1 votes:
Super homophobic, views sex with women as a not-fun chore... This guy is so far in the closet, he's giving Aslan a handjob.
2013-08-29 01:27:57 PM  
1 votes:

Great_Milenko: So, in one sentence, Jerome Corsi has brought the entire conservative movement into perfect focus.

Conservatives, fundamentalists, whatever label you may want to use, live their entire lives in constant fear and disgust of their own bodies.  Their distaste of what makes a human "human" eats at their very soul.  It permeates their thinking and clouds their moral compass.  It's often theorized that homophobia is a reflection of deeply repressed homosexuality, but the problem apparently goes far deeper.  They're afraid of sexuality.  Period.

Far from mocking them, I feel sorry for them.


I try to have more sex to bring up the average per capita to offset their intransigence.

/Her name is Handrea
2013-08-29 01:26:17 PM  
1 votes:
 And not the sports page, or a magazine!!!

also he kinda reminds me of the Hannity parody from GTA4.
2013-08-29 01:23:13 PM  
1 votes:
This guy sounds exactly like that nutjob who showed up at a teacher's meeting (or was it a town hall meeting?), spoke his piece about whatever topic they were discussing, then awkwardly proclaimed that he was a 50 yr old virgin and that "Jesus is the king of male virgins."

Wish I could find the audio clip.
2013-08-29 01:18:55 PM  
1 votes:

Thurston Howell: LoneWolf343: You know, I always wanted to live in a church. I imagine utilities would be a biatch, though.

Join a monastery; you can live in a big giant church-like environment for free.

/Say goodbye to everything fun, though.


That's the same advice I give to my buddies when they get engaged.
2013-08-29 01:17:44 PM  
1 votes:
I think this is the perfect place for:

Why not both?
2013-08-29 01:12:09 PM  
1 votes:

QueenMamaBee: I like sex, I like books... just not at the same time


Sometimes I like to flip open a copy of Elias Baseball Records on her back just to prolong things.
2013-08-29 01:08:32 PM  
1 votes:
I like sex, I like books... just not at the same time
2013-08-29 01:02:29 PM  
1 votes:

Weaver95: Or you could take the pagan view that all things pleasurable are sacred, as it harms none do as you will. So long as its between consenting adults you can get your freak on any way you want and not have to feel guilty about it afterwards.


RIGHT-WING GUILT-RIDDEN FUNDY ASSHAT PROPAGANDA DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!
/morbo.jpg
2013-08-29 12:15:02 PM  
1 votes:

Aarontology: Flab: Marcus Aurelius: But now we know. They're going to take God out of the church.

It's already happening.

[convertedchurches.files.wordpress.com image 478x590]

I think I became old the moment I started seeing pictures of stuff like that and not first thinking "That's pretty badass" but instead "Man, that'd cost a lot of heat and cool"

I'm only 30. :(


Yeah, I took one look at those uninsulated rafters and thought that God has to be involved with their electric bill somehow.
2013-08-29 11:40:53 AM  
1 votes:

Nadie_AZ: Does this make any sense to anyone? At all?


I have a fundie brother that told me over ten years ago that gays were going to take over the country.  So I asked him what exactly the plan was.  How was this going to affect me.

He didn't seem to have any answers at that point.  But now we know.  They're going to take God out of the church.
2013-08-29 10:54:02 AM  
1 votes:
Jebus!  All this guy does is try to sell books.
 
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