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(NPR)   Area man starts fake newspaper to sell pizza coupons. Happy 25th anniversary to The Onion, America's finest news source   (npr.org ) divider line 122
    More: Spiffy, Area Man, Renee Montagne, pizza coupons  
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7848 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Aug 2013 at 8:39 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



122 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-08-29 08:41:36 AM  
I've watched CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC & Foxnews for a decade. I know fake news.
 
2013-08-29 08:45:18 AM  
I do not consider Jon Stewart to be a satirist.  He lets reality make fun of itself.
 
2013-08-29 08:45:26 AM  
2 things:

1. This is the most accurate video they have ever done.

2. I learned the term "pegging" from them. So thank you Onion. Thank you very much for that.
 
2013-08-29 08:45:53 AM  
"David Lee Roth Might as Well Jump"
 
2013-08-29 08:48:58 AM  
With how bizarre reality has gotten I am honestly shocked they can even satire anything anymore. Hell during the whole GOP rape fiasco really they didn't even need to make shiat up, just report the actual news.
 
2013-08-29 08:49:12 AM  
"Drugs Win Drug War"

Are they a wizard?
 
2013-08-29 08:49:15 AM  

Jim from Saint Paul: 1. This is the most accurate video they have ever done.


This was the most accurate article
 
2013-08-29 08:50:22 AM  
o.onionstatic.com

R.I.P. H-Dog
 
2013-08-29 08:50:22 AM  
qph.is.quoracdn.net
 
2013-08-29 08:52:29 AM  
My favorite Onion image -
www.tarfumes.com
/hot
 
2013-08-29 08:53:16 AM  
My all-time favorite:

iranian.com
 
2013-08-29 08:53:19 AM  
 
2013-08-29 08:56:17 AM  
I do not consider Jon Stewart to be a satirist.  He lets reality make fun of itself.


I agree. It's much easier to just point and say "isn't that crazy?!?" with a funny face when reading a news story instead of coming up with some original humor about it.
 
2013-08-29 08:58:24 AM  
"I agree. It's much easier to just point and say "isn't that crazy?!?" with a funny face when reading a news story instead of coming up with some original humor about it."

Agree. Stewart has less talent than a mongoloid.

I can always laugh at the mongoloid.
 
2013-08-29 08:58:58 AM  
I like my fake pizza with Onion.
 
2013-08-29 09:00:27 AM  
I read the first half of the headline and clicked, then read the NPR headline.  For a moment I honestly thought I was going to read about the New York Post.
 
2013-08-29 09:01:13 AM  
The Onion has done a great job of embracing digital news -- I think I discovered them through a PC Magazine feature circa 1994, before I even had Internet access -- and transitioning from a weekly newspaper to a 24/7 media organization. But at times I really miss rushing to the news rack every Wednesday morning to grab a print copy before they're all gone.
 
2013-08-29 09:02:22 AM  
The newspaper from my area is superior to the newspaper in your area.
 
2013-08-29 09:04:02 AM  

Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: One of the most accurate tech stories they've ever done. (NSFW)


Any idea how much it costs?
 
2013-08-29 09:05:33 AM  
o.onionstatic.com
 
2013-08-29 09:05:56 AM  

DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks: I've watched CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC & Foxnews for a decade. I know fake news.


That is why it's called "Breaking News".

/I stick with DW, BBC and sadly Fark to find out what the hell is going on.
 
2013-08-29 09:08:28 AM  

DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks: Agree. Stewart has less talent than a mongoloid.


Colbert, on the other hand...
 
2013-08-29 09:10:33 AM  
My favourite. The plane just makes the whole thing.


Clinton Deploys Very Special Forces To Iraq
media.theonion.com
 
2013-08-29 09:12:27 AM  
Supreme Court Overturns Car


/salute
 
2013-08-29 09:13:04 AM  
Most local rags have at least 1 page devoted to satire news and they're all terrible. The Onion has been the only source of fake news to consistently make me laugh.
 
2013-08-29 09:19:44 AM  
Unlimited free pizza*

Free pizza oven with purchase of a small coke*

Buy one pizza, get one franchise free*

*coupons not good at any of the Mitch's Pizza locations
 
2013-08-29 09:19:59 AM  
T-ball stand pitches perfect game at special olympics
 
2013-08-29 09:21:25 AM  
ONION TURNS 25 - AREA MAN TURNS ON TV
 
2013-08-29 09:26:38 AM  
Most news is satire at this point.  They will have competition from the major outlets that don't realize how farcical they have become.
 
2013-08-29 09:26:38 AM  
 
2013-08-29 09:31:00 AM  
My favorite Onion headline:

'Jurisprudence Fetishist Gets Off on Technicality'
 
2013-08-29 09:31:26 AM  
 
2013-08-29 09:34:46 AM  
Another contender for most accurate article

Keep shining, you crazy diamond.

/The A.V. Club is some of the sharpest art criticism around
 
2013-08-29 09:37:26 AM  
Sorry, but this thread lacks some Smoove B
 
2013-08-29 09:40:52 AM  
Archaeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People
 
2013-08-29 09:41:54 AM  

Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: One of the most accurate tech stories they've ever done. (NSFW)


Sorry but this is the most accurate tech story they had ever done.
 
2013-08-29 09:47:00 AM  

Sybarite: [manwalksonfarkingmoon.jpg]


That's one of the top 10 front pages (real or fake) of all time.
 
2013-08-29 09:47:06 AM  
I discovered "The Onion" during the Bush/Gore/Florida "Recount" crisis, when they showed foreign troops landing in D.C. in an effort to stabilize our government.  This was at work, and other cubicle dwellers started 'prairie dogging' when I laughed the way I did.
 
2013-08-29 09:48:07 AM  

DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks: I can always laugh at the mongoloid.


Why? I've never considered Asian people all that funny.
 
2013-08-29 09:53:18 AM  
 
2013-08-29 09:55:52 AM  
Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.  Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.
 
2013-08-29 09:56:26 AM  

Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: One of the most accurate tech stories they've ever done. (NSFW)


that is by far my favorite video by them.
 
2013-08-29 09:57:23 AM  
very first onion headline i saw, back in madison in about 1990: AREA COCKROACH farkING HUGE
 
2013-08-29 09:57:28 AM  

SoupJohnB: I discovered "The Onion" during the Bush/Gore/Florida "Recount" crisis, when they showed foreign troops landing in D.C. in an effort to stabilize our government.  This was at work, and other cubicle dwellers started 'prairie dogging' when I laughed the way I did.


Really?

prarie doggingThe act of a turd poking its top out of ones anus repeatedly"Dude, pull the car over I gotta shiat, I'm prarie dogging here"
 
2013-08-29 09:59:46 AM  

czei: SoupJohnB: I discovered "The Onion" during the Bush/Gore/Florida "Recount" crisis, when they showed foreign troops landing in D.C. in an effort to stabilize our government.  This was at work, and other cubicle dwellers started 'prairie dogging' when I laughed the way I did.

Really?

prarie doggingThe act of a turd poking its top out of ones anus repeatedly"Dude, pull the car over I gotta shiat, I'm prarie dogging here"


i always referred to that as "crowning." as in, "dude, pull the car over, i'm crowning here! i've got to be dilated to at least three centimeters already!"
 
2013-08-29 10:00:20 AM  
So they can finally rent a car now. Congrats.
 
2013-08-29 10:00:58 AM  

czei: SoupJohnB: I discovered "The Onion" during the Bush/Gore/Florida "Recount" crisis, when they showed foreign troops landing in D.C. in an effort to stabilize our government.  This was at work, and other cubicle dwellers started 'prairie dogging' when I laughed the way I did.

Really?

prarie doggingThe act of a turd poking its top out of ones anus repeatedly"Dude, pull the car over I gotta shiat, I'm prarie dogging here"


Can also refer to cubicle workers popping their heads about the cube to see whats is going on.
 
2013-08-29 10:03:50 AM  

FlashHarry: very first onion headline i saw, back in madison in about 1990: AREA COCKROACH farkING HUGE


one of the first i remember was the area zookeeper attacked raped by bear
 
2013-08-29 10:04:07 AM  
One of their very best, yet oddly deleted from their website. From 1996:


-- Black Bear Attacks, Rapes, Zookeeper Grin and bear it! Barry, an 850 lb. black bear, got a little frisky with zookeeper Ron Gilks. The anal rape is believed to be the first inter-special coupling in Metro Zoo history. Here's a little dog-bites-man tale we couldn't resist! Except replace "dog" with "850-pound black bear"! And "bites" with "anally violate"! Yes, last Saturday a zookeeper at the Metropolitan Zoo had "claws" for alarm when he was attacked and raped by the same black bear he had raised from a cub! Geez, talk about gratitude! "It was horrible, just horrible," sobbed an eyewitness. Guess she sure got an eyeful! The bear, named "Barry," attacked zookeeper Ron Gilks as Gilks entered the cage to give him dinner. Barry lunged at his throat, goring him with his huge claws and razor-sharp teeth. Some of the claw marks were three-quarters of an inch deep. Ouch! Then, astonished onlookers could "bearly" believe what happened next--Barry began to brutally rape zookeeper Gilks! Frantic zookeepers rushed for rifles as others tried to divert the bear. But there was no stopping Barry! This bear kept "bearing down," and Gilks just had to grin and "bear" it! Maybe Barry was mistaking him for his "honey"! Gilks was pronounced dead upon arrival at the hospital. A full quart of bear semen was extracted from his ruptured chest cavity. And that's no small Boo-Boo! Barry's 27-inch phallus, armed with guard hairs as sharp as red-hot needles, shot through Gilks' rectum, shattered his lower spine and skewered his colon, causing his entire lower torso to "cave" in! Yikes! Bet that wasn't the type of "cave" you had in mind when you took up zookeeping, Mr. Gilks! And can you imagine Gilks' surprise when Barry's putrid ursine semen flooded his ruptured chest cavity? (By the way, Mr. Gilks, whatever cologne you've been wearing, where can the public get some?) Finally, zookeeper Eric Pulliam shot Barry with a tranquilizer gun and pulled Gilks from the cage. The unconscious bear was later destroyed. Hey, this "Yogi" made a major "Boo-Boo"! "I have worked with dangerous animals before," zoo director Kate Donegal said. "But never have I seen any animal sexually assault a human being." "Barry"? Try "Scary"! Meanwhile, Gilks was pronounced dead at an area hospital--but at least he died grinning and bearing it! No doubt, this episode gives new meaning to the term, "Do not feed the bears!"
 
2013-08-29 10:05:16 AM  

Fano: FlashHarry: very first onion headline i saw, back in madison in about 1990: AREA COCKROACH farkING HUGE

one of the first i remember was the area zookeeper attacked raped by bear


17 seconds! Amazing...

/ sorry about the formatting of my previous post, it had paragraphs when I pasted it...
 
2013-08-29 10:05:40 AM  

SmackLT: Sorry, but this thread lacks some Smoove B


I agree.

Corn will be served.
 
2013-08-29 10:08:00 AM  
Saved this one from the print version years ago:

"PBS to air more of that Yanni shiat."
 
2013-08-29 10:14:53 AM  

paulseta: Fano: FlashHarry: very first onion headline i saw, back in madison in about 1990: AREA COCKROACH farkING HUGE

one of the first i remember was the area zookeeper attacked raped by bear

17 seconds! Amazing...

/ sorry about the formatting of my previous post, it had paragraphs when I pasted it...


Nice! i hadn't seen that one in years, i remembered it being over the top shocking back then. Thanks for posting the whole thing
 
2013-08-29 10:16:29 AM  
I Think I'll Drive The Kids Up To The State Park To See This 'Glory Hole'

How did I hear about the Glory Hole? Well, when I took Skipper to get his nails clipped, I overheard one of the groomers talking about it to Don, who had his poodle in for a shampoo. The groomer said the Glory Hole was "mind-blowing," and Don said he was definitely going to check it out. When I asked them about it, they clammed up. They always seem to be clued-in to the newest restaurants and art museums, so I'll bet they wanted to keep the Glory Hole a secret. Well, for once, the McTaggerts are in the know!
 
2013-08-29 10:18:35 AM  
 
2013-08-29 10:21:34 AM  

Repo Man: Study: Children Of Divorce Twice As Likely To Write Bad Poetry


"The Purple Lake of Desolation" is comedy gold.
 
2013-08-29 10:26:12 AM  

wingnut396: czei: SoupJohnB: I discovered "The Onion" during the Bush/Gore/Florida "Recount" crisis, when they showed foreign troops landing in D.C. in an effort to stabilize our government.  This was at work, and other cubicle dwellers started 'prairie dogging' when I laughed the way I did.

Really?

prarie doggingThe act of a turd poking its top out of ones anus repeatedly"Dude, pull the car over I gotta shiat, I'm prarie dogging here"

Can also refer to cubicle workers popping their heads about the cube to see whats is going on.


Thank you.
 
2013-08-29 10:27:34 AM  
Forget the exact title,

Miami construction workers find out they built the new marlins stadium.
 
2013-08-29 10:29:05 AM  
"No one murdered because of this image" gets my nod as favorite ,if nothing else for the "holy shiat, they went there" factor (NSFW, btw).
 
2013-08-29 10:31:52 AM  
 
2013-08-29 10:41:48 AM  
 
2013-08-29 10:42:01 AM  

Perlin Noise: Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: One of the most accurate tech stories they've ever done. (NSFW)

that is by far my favorite video by them.


Funny, but I still submit that mine beats it. It doesn't have to be Sony. It can be true of almost any big tech company. (Lately, Microsoft)
 
2013-08-29 10:42:18 AM  
God Answers Prayers of Dying Little Boy
"No," God says.
 
2013-08-29 10:44:33 AM  
 
2013-08-29 10:51:45 AM  

SmackLT: Sorry, but this thread lacks some Smoove B


Damn I miss Smoove B. And the one you linked is one of my favorites.

"It is then that I will hit you doggy-style."
 
2013-08-29 10:56:28 AM  
 
2013-08-29 10:57:47 AM  
This is my favorite article-free headline.
 
2013-08-29 11:20:44 AM  
i238.photobucket.com

o.onionstatic.com
 
2013-08-29 11:22:58 AM  

Fano: FlashHarry: very first onion headline i saw, back in madison in about 1990: AREA COCKROACH farkING HUGE

one of the first i remember was the area zookeeper attacked raped by bear


early headlines i remember:

Area Bassist Fellated
Area Bowl Cashed
New Soap to Cleanse Filthy Irish
(with helpful Irish Spring infographic)
 
2013-08-29 11:29:49 AM  
Half-remembered from the print version: "Sting: 'Yeah, I Used to be Cool'"
 
2013-08-29 11:40:48 AM  

Thaddeus Mutton: This is my favorite article-free headline.


my favorite article-free...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/reagans-body-dies,9514/
 
2013-08-29 11:41:29 AM  
These are great. I don't know why, but I've always been partial to "Nation's Dentists Can't Make Teeth Any Damn Whiter."
 
2013-08-29 11:46:38 AM  
 
2013-08-29 11:57:10 AM  

theknuckler_33: [o.onionstatic.com image 90x120]

R.I.P. H-Dog


Mourn ya til I join ya.

/accounts payabo represent!
 
2013-08-29 11:57:58 AM  
I discovered The Onion the summer between 6th and 7th grade, and liked it so much it became my Fark and email handle.
 
2013-08-29 12:15:48 PM  
Their Holy farking shiat Attack on America (9/11) articles were (are) fantastic. I remember my first visit to the website after the towers fell, and wondering how could someone possibly cover those events with any sort of satire. The Onion delivered.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-angrily-clarifies-dont-kill-rul e, 222/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/hugging-up-76000-percent,8824/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/we-must-retaliate-with-blind-rage-v s- we-must-retal,11537/
 
mjg
2013-08-29 12:17:00 PM  
 
2013-08-29 12:18:09 PM  
They did a great job with all their post-9/11 stuff. I remember the weird sense of relief from chuckling at "Holy F*cking shiat!"
 
2013-08-29 12:24:40 PM  
Also, this one was particularly relevant at the time it came out, as my girlfriend was studying abroad that semester.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/european-men-are-so-much-more-roman ti c-than-americ,11552/
 
2013-08-29 12:28:36 PM  
humanistsforlabour.typepad.com
 
2013-08-29 12:28:59 PM  
My fave article was from 1997 about Taco Bell introducing a new morning-after burrito, the Contraceptimelt. It had this diagram about what the 7 layers do. I think the purpose of the lettuce was to scrape the uterine lining. :)
 
2013-08-29 12:29:17 PM  

dickfreckle: And of course:


*shakes tiny fist*
 
2013-08-29 12:30:03 PM  

Rapmaster2000: [qph.is.quoracdn.net image 400x400]


My all time favorite. I have a print of it taped to my office door.
 
2013-08-29 12:30:47 PM  
My personal favorite (headline only):

Jackie Chan Attacked While Holding World's Most Expensive Cake
 
2013-08-29 12:51:53 PM  

dickfreckle: And of course:

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com


That's my fav of all time
 
2013-08-29 12:52:03 PM  
My favorite (from 2001, from just right after Bush took office):

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'
 
2013-08-29 01:03:37 PM  
 
2013-08-29 01:07:16 PM  
 
zez
2013-08-29 01:08:50 PM  
 
2013-08-29 01:08:53 PM  

Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: One of the most accurate tech stories they've ever done. (NSFW)


That one is my absolute favorite. I always laugh at the "and being god damn ass backward as fark" line
 
2013-08-29 01:21:33 PM  
One of my favorite sidebars: "Your Kids: Are They Sexy Enough?"

Fave article include:

"Lilith Fair Concertgoers Experience Largest Mass Ovulation"

"Mothership Accidentally Descends on Hootie Concert"

and the aforementioned "American Girls are Soooo Easy"
 
2013-08-29 01:22:27 PM  
 
2013-08-29 01:24:27 PM  
And no love for The Cruise, by Jim Anchower? One of my favorite columns.
 
2013-08-29 01:29:21 PM  
 
2013-08-29 01:32:52 PM  
This is going back a little but it's always been my favorite:  http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-experts-give-up,682/
 
2013-08-29 01:33:37 PM  
I dunno why, but this one made me laugh more than any other article:

Bo Obama Recieves Visiting Dognitaries from Furuguay.

/I also loved Our Dumb World
 
2013-08-29 01:34:29 PM  

theorellior: And no love for The Cruise, by Jim Anchower? One of my favorite columns.


Jim Anchower is some funny shiat. I used to always read that column back in my university days. I don't know how many times my friends and I were working late in a computer lab trying to get an assignment done and instead of working on it and getting to leave at a reasonable time we would take massive breaks to read archived Jim Anchower articles.
 
2013-08-29 01:41:44 PM  
 
2013-08-29 01:57:23 PM  
And i still cant find the article about Pakistan ready tap their mountains for a fireball, but wary of india's two untapped islands.

Also remember the day of 'oh shiat, the onion went color'
 
2013-08-29 02:33:05 PM  
Really, no one posted this yet?
Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cawk?
 
2013-08-29 02:41:18 PM  
One of my favorites was "Christ Returns to NBA."  The best part was the fairly journeyman stats Christ had.
 
2013-08-29 03:03:29 PM  
I remember a long time ago when I first discovered the Onion.  The girlfriend I had at the time needed to go to Planned Parenthood, for reasons that I won't go into.  Nothing bad, I just don't want to go into it.  Anyway, the Onion had recently printed the article titled something like, "Taco Bell Releases New Morning After Burrito."  I thought it would be funny to print off a dozen copies and leave them in the little pamphlet station they had.  I don't know if they fooled anyone, but I like to think I confused some area women, and a few area Taco Bell workers while I was at it.

\the Contraceptamelt sounded delicious
 
2013-08-29 03:12:33 PM  
 
2013-08-29 03:21:21 PM  
favorite captions:

• (caption of kurt warner's wife) Kurt Warner Cheered On by Spiky-Haired Hobgoblin
• (caption of raging house fire) Plucky Turtle Dials Most of 911
• (caption of abused girl) Child Abuse: How Much is Too Much?
 
2013-08-29 03:40:04 PM  

theorellior: And no love for The Cruise, by Jim Anchower? One of my favorite columns.


Hola, amingos.

I was fortunate enough to live in Madison when the first issues started to appear. One would find them in bustops, park benches, bars. Pick it up, read it then put it back for the next person. I remember the ads being farking hilarious. And the editorials....H-dog, Smoove, Anchower, Jeanie, T. Herman....all good.
 
2013-08-29 04:03:41 PM  
Back in the late '80s, the local Domino's Pizza took competitors coupons. A buddy and used Printshop to create Thor's Pizza and Axl's Pizza. 2 Large & 2 liter soda for $5. Idiots took them every time.
 
2013-08-29 04:07:32 PM  
and I...
/needs moar coffee
 
2013-08-29 04:08:46 PM  

jimpoz: Unlimited free pizza*

Free pizza oven with purchase of a small coke*

Buy one pizza, get one franchise free*

*coupons not good at any of the Mitch's Pizza locations


+1. Surprised you were the only one to make this reference and I was the only one to pay you a compliment for it.
 
2013-08-29 05:16:50 PM  

Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: "Drugs Win Drug War"

Are they a wizard?


After Holder's announcement today this is doubly true.
 
2013-08-29 05:29:24 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: "Drugs Win Drug War"

Are they a wizard?

After Holder's announcement today this is doubly true.


Meh.

He's made that announcement before and gone back on it.
 
2013-08-29 05:58:44 PM  
can we all agree that the onion, the movie, was horrible?
 
2013-08-29 07:07:45 PM  
I was about to post this:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-s uc king-my-cock,11150/

Seriously, many of these right-wing fundie clowns think about gay sex more than any gay person I've ever met.
 
2013-08-29 09:19:53 PM  

Glenford: My favourite. The plane just makes the whole thing.


Clinton Deploys Very Special Forces To Iraq
[media.theonion.com image 250x243]



Okay, that pic made me laugh in a completely irrational and hysterical fashion.
 
2013-08-29 10:01:47 PM  

Cerebral Knievel: can we all agree that the onion, the movie, was horrible?


The computer sketch was unhinged awesomeness.

/"Throw that piece of sh*t in the garbage where it belongs."
 
2013-08-29 10:17:01 PM  

Sandor at the Zoo: Cerebral Knievel: can we all agree that the onion, the movie, was horrible?

The computer sketch was unhinged awesomeness.

/"Throw that piece of sh*t in the garbage where it belongs."


alright, could've been worse... could've been "Meet the Spartons"
 
2013-08-29 10:41:38 PM  
Not everything from the print editions made it online.
i43.tinypic.com
 
2013-08-29 11:33:32 PM  
 
2013-08-30 01:29:12 AM  
i really miss my print subscription from 97-99 or so.  many of my favorites have already been mentioned but a few that i can remember that i didnt see here were

Burundi Beef Council: "Please Send Beef"

Male Orgasm Captured on Film

http://www.theonion.com/articles/loved-ones-recall-local-mans-coward ly -battle-with,772/

Im Like A Chocoholic But For Booze (sadly with wrong pic from the print version i remember)

and the sidebars that didnt have any articles, just a pic and a title like:  Area Bank Clearly Used To Be Pizza Hut.  And the ones that made me wheeze for air from laughin so hard were several of the Point/Counterpoints and my all time favorite:  Ask Sir Mix A Lot.

thanks, thread.  i think ive maybe woken neighbors with laughing tonight.
 
2013-08-30 01:47:43 AM  
 
2013-08-30 01:49:16 AM  
they're coming back to me a little.

Point: You the Man!  Counterpoint:  No, you the man!
Point: We need to save the children.  Counterpoint: Children, schmildren.

i still have my copies of The Onion books, volume 1 and 2 and one that was like the Onion through history.  The pilot they did for Amazon tv show was pretty damn good too.  I never heard who won that competition though.  Forgot all about til this thread.
 
2013-08-30 04:20:51 AM  
FTFA: "There's always a slight looming terror of running out of jokes because we've done so many jokes, and we have this manic insistence on never repeating a joke that we've done," Tracy says.

I can see the headline though. "The Onion vows never to repeat a joke it's already repeated". That should buy them at least another 25 years.
 
2013-08-30 07:23:02 AM  
 
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