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(My San Antonio)   City bus service releases "10 Tips to make you a friendlier rider". "Please don't discharge your firearms while on board." is included. Yes, this is Texas, why do you ask?   (mysanantonio.com) divider line 41
    More: Silly, San Antonio, transit police, bus drivers  
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1975 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Aug 2013 at 7:39 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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GBB
2013-08-29 07:45:09 AM
wiw.org
Eager rider
 
2013-08-29 07:45:18 AM
Guess I'll take a taxi, then.
 
2013-08-29 07:47:07 AM
I don't see a problem with keeping your ticket in your bra unless you have some sweaty nasty boobies.  They are most likely cleaner than your hand.

And the about asking if the bus is going downtown, etc.  I imagine it is old people trying to be friendly and acknowledge the bus driver is there by talking to him.
 
2013-08-29 07:47:10 AM
Clearly a violation of their freedom to express themselves.

blogs.houstonpress.com
 
2013-08-29 07:47:53 AM
If it's a celebrational gun firing that's okay right?
 
2013-08-29 07:51:07 AM

EvilEgg: I don't see a problem with keeping your ticket in your bra unless you have some sweaty nasty boobies.  They are most likely cleaner than your hand.

And the about asking if the bus is going downtown, etc.  I imagine it is old people trying to be friendly and acknowledge the bus driver is there by talking to him.


Anyone who keeps anything stashed In their milk jugs will undoubtedly be sweaty. This is its own rule.
 
2013-08-29 07:52:16 AM
San Antonio? Explains it. Wouldn't have any of these problems in a civilized society like Austin.
 
2013-08-29 07:59:52 AM
When I think stereotypical Texan, public transit doesn't really spring to mind.
 
2013-08-29 08:05:29 AM
Poor peoples problem.
 
2013-08-29 08:10:23 AM

wellreadneck: When I think stereotypical Texan, public transit doesn't really spring to mind.


I'm flattered that you think that Texas doesn't have any poor people, but I always thought our reputation was pretty blue-collar to begin with.  Does that not involve taking a lot of buses where you live?
 
2013-08-29 08:12:51 AM
This counts as community service and it took me 50 hours to complete.

1. Please have your fare ready.
2. Keep your body fluids to yourself...
3. ... and that includes vomit.
4. Your bus driver doesn't know exactly where your Aunt Mabel lives.
5. For the hundredth time, yes, this bus is going downtown.
6. If your driver pulls into a gas station and gets off, don't panic.
7. Please don't eat on the bus.
8. Don't take your bad day/breakup/fight with your sister out on the driver.
9. Please don't get so wasted that you can't figure out where you're going and/or can't wake up from an alcohol-induced stupor.
10. Please don't discharge your firearms while onboard.
 
2013-08-29 08:15:44 AM
Is it OK if I just flash my piece a little?  Penis or firearm?
 
2013-08-29 08:16:34 AM

mrswood: If it's a celebrational gun firing that's okay right?


Yes. Discharging your firearm is ok, as long as you yell, "YeeHaw" before you do it. Gotta follow the rules.
 
2013-08-29 08:17:09 AM
If the headline is a euphemism, shouldn't it be covered under #2?
 
2013-08-29 08:18:39 AM

Harry Freakstorm: This counts as community service and it took me 50 hours to complete.

1. Please have your fare ready.
2. Keep your body fluids to yourself...
3. ... and that includes vomit.
4. Your bus driver doesn't know exactly where your Aunt Mabel lives.
5. For the hundredth time, yes, this bus is going downtown.
6. If your driver pulls into a gas station and gets off, don't panic.
7. Please don't eat on the bus.
8. Don't take your bad day/breakup/fight with your sister out on the driver.
9. Please don't get so wasted that you can't figure out where you're going and/or can't wake up from an alcohol-induced stupor.
10. Please don't discharge your firearms while onboard.


11 Please don't mumble angrily to yourself the whole trip
12 No, I don't have any change. You ask me that question every day and I always say, "no."
 
2013-08-29 08:19:09 AM

EvilEgg: I don't see a problem with keeping your ticket in your bra unless you have some sweaty nasty boobies.  They are most likely cleaner than your hand.

And the about asking if the bus is going downtown, etc.  I imagine it is old people trying to be friendly and acknowledge the bus driver is there by talking to him.


San Antonio is hot and fairly humid most of the year, with no part of the year being immune to the possibility of sweat inducing temperatures. The coldest record high is January is 89º, the warmest is September at 111º.

There's going to be sweaty boobs and moobs in San Antonio, especially after having to wait at the bus stop or walk to the bus stop.
 
2013-08-29 08:22:05 AM
1. Yes
2 and 3 Yes, please
4. Are you sure? You look like Uncle Johnny
5. But where downtown? The Alamo? The riverwalk? What about that place with the things. Do you go there?
6. It just means it's my turn to drive.
7. What if I eat like a rat and hiss when people stare at me?
8. I paid my fare. I'm gettimg my moneys worth. Bus drivers are the best therapists "Life is like a bus windshield. You can either look through it and see where you are going or go through it and see where you've been." (Honolulu bus driver 1981)
9. But bus parking lots are so much fun at 4 am.
10. The cops won't let me discharge them outside of the bus either. How am I supposed to celebrate a successful Ramamdan (i. e. a trip to the Ramada Inn for a job interview)
 
2013-08-29 08:24:26 AM

"You kind of diffuse the situation by staying calm," said McNeil.


Why the hell do article-writing-people and their editors not know the difference between 'diffuse' and 'defuse'??
 
2013-08-29 08:24:59 AM

YoOjo: San Antonio? Explains it. Wouldn't have any of these problems in a civilized society like Austin.


True because the city gives free out of town bus passes to the poor/homeless. They are so progressive.
 
2013-08-29 08:28:46 AM

NutWrench: Harry Freakstorm: This counts as community service and it took me 50 hours to complete.

1. Please have your fare ready.
2. Keep your body fluids to yourself...
3. ... and that includes vomit.
4. Your bus driver doesn't know exactly where your Aunt Mabel lives.
5. For the hundredth time, yes, this bus is going downtown.
6. If your driver pulls into a gas station and gets off, don't panic.
7. Please don't eat on the bus.
8. Don't take your bad day/breakup/fight with your sister out on the driver.
9. Please don't get so wasted that you can't figure out where you're going and/or can't wake up from an alcohol-induced stupor.
10. Please don't discharge your firearms while onboard.

11 Please don't mumble angrily to yourself the whole trip
12 No, I don't have any change. You ask me that question every day and I always say, "no."


13. Please do not annoy other passangers with your 'sail phone' conversation. Please text instead.
 
2013-08-29 08:29:16 AM
Ohmegherd!  Der gunna tek ur gunz!
 
2013-08-29 08:37:13 AM

Jim_Callahan: wellreadneck: When I think stereotypical Texan, public transit doesn't really spring to mind.

I'm flattered that you think that Texas doesn't have any poor people, but I always thought our reputation was pretty blue-collar to begin with.  Does that not involve taking a lot of buses where you live?


I'm flattered that you think bus lines run out where I live.
 
2013-08-29 08:50:04 AM
You know, I pretty strongly suspect that just about every mass transit system has an almost identical list.  Just saying.
 
2013-08-29 09:04:24 AM
Yeah, you know us Texans.  Always firing our guns into the air, and on buses..  I assume that they must have had someone do that recently to even mention it, or the reporter is from... well, Houston apparently, but went to NYU.  She's also apparently the reporter from the Chronicle that got fired for being a stripper.
 
2013-08-29 09:30:04 AM

Jim_Callahan: wellreadneck: When I think stereotypical Texan, public transit doesn't really spring to mind.

I'm flattered that you think that Texas doesn't have any poor people, but I always thought our reputation was pretty blue-collar to begin with.  Does that not involve taking a lot of buses where you live?


t1.gstatic.com

\how I picture Texans and their transport
\\would honestly feel safer living in Iraq than Texas
 
2013-08-29 09:39:15 AM

CheapEngineer: Jim_Callahan: wellreadneck: When I think stereotypical Texan, public transit doesn't really spring to mind.

I'm flattered that you think that Texas doesn't have any poor people, but I always thought our reputation was pretty blue-collar to begin with.  Does that not involve taking a lot of buses where you live?

[t1.gstatic.com image 259x194]

\how I picture Texans and their transport
\\would honestly feel safer living in Iraq than Texas


You would be fine as long as you are white or other white (latino).
 
2013-08-29 09:47:45 AM

CheapEngineer: J

\\would honestly feel safer living in Iraq than Texas


Your ignorance is staggering.

Maybe you should try to get out more.
 
2013-08-29 09:58:27 AM

CheapEngineer: would honestly feel safer living in Iraq than Texas


Cow patties are annoying and gross, but not quite as bad as an IED.
 
2013-08-29 10:00:22 AM

CheapEngineer: \\would honestly feel safer living in Iraq than Texas


Then you've never been to San Antonio. The unofficial city motto is "Don't bother the nice tourists. They pay the Hospitality Tax".
 
2013-08-29 10:03:39 AM
I love these Texas threads where San Antonio, Houston, DFW, El Paso, Amarillo, etc. are all one homogenous place.

San Antonio is San Diego without the beach and the nice weather.  Huge military presence, industry, tourism, education, with a majority Latino population, though SATX is a bit "bluer" politically.  There's even a Sea World.
 
2013-08-29 10:04:56 AM

I May Be Crazy But...: CheapEngineer: would honestly feel safer living in Iraq than Texas

Cow patties are annoying and gross, but not quite as bad as an IED.


Cow patties, I assume you're referring to that nonsense that Whataburger sells.
/thought the locals were saying 'water burger' when I moved to Austin. Wasn't far off.
 
2013-08-29 10:09:15 AM

YoOjo: I May Be Crazy But...: CheapEngineer: would honestly feel safer living in Iraq than Texas

Cow patties are annoying and gross, but not quite as bad as an IED.

Cow patties, I assume you're referring to that nonsense that Whataburger sells.
/thought the locals were saying 'water burger' when I moved to Austin. Wasn't far off.


Yep, we like our beef so much in Texas that we leave hamburgers lying in the street. And let's be fair, for fast food Whataburger isn't nearly the worst choice. Even if you foreigners don't know how to pronounce the name.
 
2013-08-29 10:14:58 AM

Izunbacol: San Antonio is San Diego without the beach and the nice weather.


Hey, the weather here's nice... Assuming you like to hear "approaching triple digits" from June through September.

Still, 75 in January makes it worth dealing with Summer.
 
2013-08-29 10:46:37 AM

ohokyeah: EvilEgg: I don't see a problem with keeping your ticket in your bra unless you have some sweaty nasty boobies.  They are most likely cleaner than your hand.

And the about asking if the bus is going downtown, etc.  I imagine it is old people trying to be friendly and acknowledge the bus driver is there by talking to him.

San Antonio is hot and fairly humid most of the year, with no part of the year being immune to the possibility of sweat inducing temperatures. The coldest record high is January is 89º, the warmest is September at 111º.

There's going to be sweaty boobs and moobs in San Antonio, especially after having to wait at the bus stop or walk to the bus stop.


What the hello is a "coldest record high"?
 
2013-08-29 10:53:59 AM
Pert:

What the hello is a "coldest record high"?

As was pointed out to my good self a few posts above, we're foreign, so it would follow that Texans are foreign to us, so it's obviously some Texan struggling with a foreign language.
It's a shame Texans are so xenophobic and fear outsiders. I loved living in Austin. Not Texas, Texas was full of itself but with nothing to back it up. They'd all do well to visit Tennessee and have a lesson in being nice people.
 
2013-08-29 11:49:11 AM
'Coldest record high' isn't a difficult concept gents. Perhaps if y'all had read any of the textbooks we mandated be standardized for the country, you'd be able to grasp it. Of the set of record high temperatures for each calendrical day, the coldest one is 89°.
 
2013-08-29 01:00:42 PM

YoOjo: Pert:

What the hello is a "coldest record high"?

As was pointed out to my good self a few posts above, we're foreign, so it would follow that Texans are foreign to us, so it's obviously some Texan struggling with a foreign language.
It's a shame Texans are so xenophobic and fear outsiders. I loved living in Austin. Not Texas, Texas was full of itself but with nothing to back it up. They'd all do well to visit Tennessee and have a lesson in being nice people.


Really, y'all? You read "The coldest record high is January is 89º" and your problem is figuring out a pretty simple qualifier, not that it would read better as "...is 89 in January."?

Okay, let's make it simple - it's been a while since any of us diagrammed a sentence. In this one, "record high" is the (compound) noun, and "coldest" is an adjective describing it. Of course, that's just the opinion of an ignorant Texas redneck, so who knows?
 
2013-08-29 01:06:04 PM

Gonz: Izunbacol: San Antonio is San Diego without the beach and the nice weather.

Hey, the weather here's nice... Assuming you like to hear "approaching triple digits" from June through September.

Still, 75 in January makes it worth dealing with Summer.


I'm from Florida, so San Antonio actually feels more like a dry heat to me.  Most of the time.  It's hard to complain about San Antonio though:  Any city where I can drink a pint of a microbrew at the movie theater, or while walking through the grocery store is pretty OK.  And the foodie scene is developing nicely down in Southtown and the Pearl.
 
2013-08-29 01:37:36 PM

Pert: ohokyeah: EvilEgg: I don't see a problem with keeping your ticket in your bra unless you have some sweaty nasty boobies.  They are most likely cleaner than your hand.

And the about asking if the bus is going downtown, etc.  I imagine it is old people trying to be friendly and acknowledge the bus driver is there by talking to him.

San Antonio is hot and fairly humid most of the year, with no part of the year being immune to the possibility of sweat inducing temperatures. The coldest record high is January is 89º, the warmest is September at 111º.

There's going to be sweaty boobs and moobs in San Antonio, especially after having to wait at the bus stop or walk to the bus stop.

What the hello is a "coldest record high"?


Take the record high for each day of the year.  Select the lowest one.
 
2013-08-29 03:46:39 PM

Release the Hounds: CheapEngineer: J

\\would honestly feel safer living in Iraq than Texas

Your ignorance is staggering.

Maybe you should try to get out more.


How does not wanting to be anywhere near Texas make me ignorant? Because it's all fabulous, And I just don't know?

The advantages of Texas you know in my estimation are overshadowed by the disadvantages of Texas I know. Shouldn't you be pleased someone who doesn't want to be there isn't wandering around your "little slice of Heaven" harshing your mellow?

\It's a picture, Son.
\\Sometimes, on FARK people post satirical pictures for comedic effect that are not meant to be true representations of reality
careeractionnow.com
 
2013-08-29 03:49:56 PM

Gonz: CheapEngineer: \\would honestly feel safer living in Iraq than Texas

Then you've never been to San Antonio. The unofficial city motto is "Don't bother the nice tourists. They pay the Hospitality Tax".


I've heard there are nice islands in Texas. It makes me sad they have to build a moat to survive though.

\ FATHER: Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.
 
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