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(My San Antonio)   Win: $120k year job. Winning: $600k house. Won: Only $2k to kill your spouse and keep it all for yourself. Fark: Hired an FBI agent   (mysanantonio.com) divider line 82
    More: Dumbass, Dominion  
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7508 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Aug 2013 at 5:18 AM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



82 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-29 12:26:33 AM
121/2 = 60.5.  Couldn't they just say that?
 
2013-08-29 12:42:47 AM
I think they poorly formatted (twice) 12 1/2 years.  It seems a bit light for an attempted murder for hire, but at least it should give her husband plenty of ammunition in the divorce case so hopefully he won't have to give her much.
 
2013-08-29 12:44:19 AM
Maybe it's like a 6 months on/6 months off kind of thing.
 
2013-08-29 01:14:48 AM
LADIES AND... ARE WE ON?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION
THERE ARE NO HIRED HITMEN WHO WILL KILL YOUR SPOUSE FOR YOU
ESPECIALLY NOT FOR THE PALTRY SUM YOU CAN PAY
DO NOT ASK SOMEONE IF THEY KNOW SOMEONE
DO NOT OFFER MONEY TO STRANGERS IN BARS


/what, are you people farking stupid, or what?
//yeah... yeah... nevermind
 
2013-08-29 01:28:40 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: THERE ARE NO HIRED HITMEN WHO WILL KILL YOUR SPOUSE FOR YOU


But there are hot, attractive singles in my area dying to hook up, right?!?!
 
2013-08-29 01:29:54 AM

Etchy333: MaudlinMutantMollusk: THERE ARE NO HIRED HITMEN WHO WILL KILL YOUR SPOUSE FOR YOU

But there are hot, attractive singles in my area dying to hook up, right?!?!


Totally
 
2013-08-29 02:13:27 AM
If you're not willing to do it yourself, you really don't want someone dead.
 
2013-08-29 02:17:29 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: LADIES AND... ARE WE ON?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION
THERE ARE NO HIRED HITMEN WHO WILL KILL YOUR SPOUSE FOR YOU
ESPECIALLY NOT FOR THE PALTRY SUM YOU CAN PAY


There are people who will kill entire cities worth of people for relatively paltry sums.  You don't know ANY of them.
 
2013-08-29 02:20:37 AM

Relatively Obscure: MaudlinMutantMollusk: LADIES AND... ARE WE ON?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION
THERE ARE NO HIRED HITMEN WHO WILL KILL YOUR SPOUSE FOR YOU
ESPECIALLY NOT FOR THE PALTRY SUM YOU CAN PAY

There are people who will kill entire cities worth of people for relatively paltry sums.  You don't know ANY of them.


No... no, I don't

/OR THERE WOULD BE ENTIRE CITIES LAID TO WASTE!!!11!!!!spittle11!!!!!
//I HAVE paltry sums, you know...
///*wrings hands*
 
2013-08-29 05:30:15 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: If you're not willing to do it yourself, you really don't want someone dead.


This.

Why is it always women who get caught in these murder for hire schemes to kill their husbands?

And why would she ask her co-worker from the Pentagon if they could put her in touch with somebody to do it? Was she one of those people that was extremely book smart but had no idea how reality worked?
 
2013-08-29 05:35:49 AM
I guess my brain is being naive, because I can't imagine doing anything to ruin a career earning me $120,000 a year even if it involves getting out of a bad marriage.
 
2013-08-29 05:41:53 AM
"On paper, it looks like I'm a monster, but I'm not."

I'm sure this whole mess was just taken out of context!
 
2013-08-29 06:04:59 AM
Isn't 120K in the defense/government industry pretty much low level salary?
 
2013-08-29 06:08:54 AM

skinink: I guess my brain is being naive, because I can't imagine doing anything to ruin a career earning me $120,000 a year even if it involves getting out of a bad marriage.


Yeah no shiat. And odds are in a divorce she would do better than him. Unless you are friends with some "family" people there is a 99.99% chance you are hiring the law. And for 2 grand no less that's insulting.
 
2013-08-29 06:12:46 AM
"On paper, it looks like I'm a monster, but I'm not."

The.

F*ck

You.

Ain't.
 
2013-08-29 06:22:14 AM
tell the bushies that we can call off the search, we've already found the weapons grade stupid right here in america...
 
2013-08-29 06:22:52 AM
$2k a hit doesn't sound bad... How do you get the ball rolling on these things? I might be bitter enough to pull it off.

/I'll just ask my freeing at the pentagon.
 
2013-08-29 06:24:15 AM
I would love to see the rest of the divorce proceedings. What kind of alimony would a guy have to pay to an ex that he was that certainly wanting him dead?
 
2013-08-29 06:28:57 AM
Maybe.... just maybe.... she was hoping for some sort of erotic fantasy where the hitman would kill her husband and then make love to her.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-08-29 06:31:21 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: LADIES AND... ARE WE ON?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION
THERE ARE NO HIRED HITMEN WHO WILL KILL YOUR SPOUSE FOR YOU
ESPECIALLY NOT FOR THE PALTRY SUM YOU CAN PAY
DO NOT ASK SOMEONE IF THEY KNOW SOMEONE
DO NOT OFFER MONEY TO STRANGERS IN BARS


/what, are you people farking stupid, or what?
//yeah... yeah... nevermind


But they guys from Soldier of Fortune are legit and completely competent, right?  ....Aw, crap.
 
2013-08-29 06:34:03 AM

mr0x: Isn't 120K in the defense/government industry pretty much low level salary?


Looks like the high end of the G-scale to me:

http://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/salaries-wages/20 12 /general-schedule/dcb.pdf

Could well be other factors, though...I'm not an expert on this stuff.

She worked at the Pentagon though...bet she has (hopefully...HAD) a security clearance at least equal to Manning's...
think about it.
 
2013-08-29 06:45:49 AM
And another highly paid government analyst with security clearance proves to be a complete nutjob.
 
2013-08-29 06:53:08 AM
What is a tony Dominion ?
 
2013-08-29 06:55:00 AM
It's sad when our FBI agents have to work second jobs as hitmen on the side...
 
2013-08-29 07:03:00 AM
You mean to tell me the "My husband/boyfriend abused me" defense did not work?  It looks like we need more laws to protect women, especially all those that are getting killed in that war that I keep hearing about but can never figure out where it is taking place.
 
2013-08-29 07:03:25 AM
she's a looker

sacurrent.com

/is that a reflection or does she have hairy ape arms?
 
2013-08-29 07:03:40 AM
She'll get out of prison in her early 60's without a pot to piss in.
 
2013-08-29 07:04:34 AM

proteus_b: tell the bushies that we can call off the search, we've already found the weapons grade stupid right here in america...


But enough about Barry and Michelle
 
2013-08-29 07:07:12 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: If you're not willing to do it yourself, you really don't want someone dead.


Seriously.  Come up with an alibi and do it yourself, or go home.  I've plotted many a death (usually the driver right in front of me), and always have to call it off because I can't find a good alibi.
 
2013-08-29 07:08:15 AM
Why are you morons degrading someone who is not only a married woman but in the front lines of the War on Terror??
 
2013-08-29 07:08:40 AM
I wonder if there has been any successful hits done on spouses. You always hear about the idiots who get caught by going to an undercover agent, but is there an actual service out there for this? What kind of an idiot asks their coworkers for this anyway?
 
2013-08-29 07:11:56 AM

Etchy333: MaudlinMutantMollusk: THERE ARE NO HIRED HITMEN WHO WILL KILL YOUR SPOUSE FOR YOU

But there are hot, attractive singles in my area dying to hook up, right?!?!


Not to mention tons of 14 year old virgin girls looking for sugar daddies?
 
2013-08-29 07:23:04 AM
121 years for attempted murder? She'd got less time actually killing him.
 
2013-08-29 07:24:58 AM
121/2 = 60.5 years
Headline failure.
 
2013-08-29 07:25:20 AM
I know a couple where the man killed his wife.  He strangled her at night, threw her body in a runoff pond at a nearby construction site, and then claimed she had gone jogging at never came back.  He was careful to not leave any forensic evidence at the house, but, despite being a computer programmer, couldn't erase the fact that he had done a google maps search of the pond *before* his wife turned up dead.  Oops.
 
2013-08-29 07:40:04 AM

Tat'dGreaser: I wonder if there has been any successful hits done on spouses. You always hear about the idiots who get caught by going to an undercover agent, but is there an actual service out there for this? What kind of an idiot asks their coworkers for this anyway?


This might be a good opportunity for that Madison dating site.
When you are tired and bored with cheating on your spouse, it is time to upgrade to their platinum package.
Not only will you get the job done, but they'll also make sure you have a good alibi.

As for the case, $2000 is insulting, especially if you make that much. The trick is to offer an amount so large that even if the hitman is FBI or an informant, the amount is just too good to turn down for someone who already works in the shadows.
 
2013-08-29 07:46:00 AM

Resident Muslim: As for the case, $2000 is insulting, especially if you make that much. The trick is to offer an amount so large that even if the hitman is FBI or an informant, the amount is just too good to turn down for someone who already works in the shadows.


You appear to have given this some thought.
 
2013-08-29 07:50:19 AM
Being a government employee - chances of her getting paid while in jail??
 
2013-08-29 08:04:29 AM
I think it might be 12.5 years.
 
2013-08-29 08:05:41 AM

ongbok: ecmoRandomNumbers: If you're not willing to do it yourself, you really don't want someone dead.

This.

Why is it always women who get caught in these murder for hire schemes to kill their husbands?

And why would she ask her co-worker from the Pentagon if they could put her in touch with somebody to do it? Was she one of those people that was extremely book smart but had no idea how reality worked?


Reminds me of the scene from Office Space when they have to look up money laundering in the dictionary.
 
2013-08-29 08:07:07 AM

abhorrent1: she's a looker

[sacurrent.com image 804x536]

/is that a reflection or does she have hairy ape arms?


Isn't that just Snowden in drag not to be outdone by Manning?
 
2013-08-29 08:10:42 AM
(12)(1/2) means it's 6 years. Learn to math.
 
2013-08-29 08:15:10 AM
What's the matter Daily Fail, no "smoking hot" diagnosis for this one.

Budget cuts methinks.
 
2013-08-29 08:24:37 AM

mr0x: Isn't 120K in the defense/government industry pretty much low level salary?


No that's upper crust for her area.   GS-13-15 depending on step.

Still, that's good money, greedy coont.
 
2013-08-29 08:25:03 AM
images.wikia.com

What a goal-oriented woman discussing a problem with a former law enforcement agent might look like
 
2013-08-29 08:26:01 AM

GoodOmens: Being a government employee - chances of her getting paid while in jail??


What do you mean chances? 0% chance of her getting paid.
She'll retire so she won't get paid, she'll collect her pension. Totally different.  And that'll only be $60k per year, so she'll be struggling too.
 
2013-08-29 08:28:21 AM

Tat'dGreaser: I wonder if there has been any successful hits done on spouses. You always hear about the idiots who get caught by going to an undercover agent, but is there an actual service out there for this?


You would never hear of a successful hits, right?  Surely a few missing person cases annually are the result of some sort of hit.  There are also plenty of cases where a friend or family member directly assists in killing a spouse, but that's a bit different than what is being discussed.   Gangs carry out hits, but I doubt there have ever been many ordered by the victim's spouse.
 
2013-08-29 08:33:23 AM

DrBrownCow: Tat'dGreaser: I wonder if there has been any successful hits done on spouses. You always hear about the idiots who get caught by going to an undercover agent, but is there an actual service out there for this?

You would never hear of a successful hits, right?  Surely a few missing person cases annually are the result of some sort of hit.  There are also plenty of cases where a friend or family member directly assists in killing a spouse, but that's a bit different than what is being discussed.   Gangs carry out hits, but I doubt there have ever been many ordered by the victim's spouse.


Discovery ID, or the "How To Kill Your Spouse" channel. Well more like, how not to. They have a series called Deadly Women. Nothing but angry jilted women or cold blooded business decisions by the gal in charge.

Great viewing for date night.
 
2013-08-29 08:44:02 AM
Yeah, there was only the illusion of winning. What's the women's equivalent of a necktie / slave collar?
 
2013-08-29 08:44:38 AM
120K a year is not that much money.
 
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