Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   Attention, everyone: According to Slate, you are making barbecue sauce wrong and the only good barbecue sauce is Kansas City style   (slate.com ) divider line
    More: Fail, Kansas City style, Kansas City, molasses, apple cider vinegar, red bell pepper, brown sugars, James Deen, Worcestershire sauce  
•       •       •

2540 clicks; posted to Geek » on 28 Aug 2013 at 11:56 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



109 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2013-08-29 12:02:53 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-08-29 12:03:10 AM  
Now I like most all BBQ sauces as much as the next guy, but you can take my mustard-based sauces when you pry them from my cold, lifeless hands bucko...

/no I'm not a Carolinian
 
2013-08-29 12:03:43 AM  

Iczer: Now I like most all BBQ sauces as much as the next guy, but you can take my mustard-based sauces when you pry them from my cold, lifeless hands bucko...

/no I'm not a Carolinian


Agreed.
 
2013-08-29 12:06:13 AM  
Fark that noise.  There's some damn good mustard-style BBQ out there.  Hell, my favorite actually ends up being from a chain:

www.hotshoppe.com

I'm sure others will counter with their favorite sauce that nobody has heard of.  So be it.  Let diversity be king.
 
2013-08-29 12:11:27 AM  
The best BBQ sauce is what I make at home.  For a sweetener, I don't use corn syrup (like nearly every BBQ sauce sold in stores) or brown sugar (which frequently comes out a little gritty) but use real maple syrup.  Honestly, make your own BBQ sauce, use maple syrup, and it will be awesome.
 
2013-08-29 12:11:33 AM  
Look, I'm thoroughly Carolinian. I can give you a complete history and six-week tour of NC barbecue. I'll outsnob anyone when it comes to sweet, sweet pig.  But I'll admit there's good stuff out there that's barbecue. And things that are mostly still barbecue, like Texas brisket, or carnitas, or kalua. It's an adventure that never ends.

That said, The times I've been to Memphis or Kansas City and had what they call barbecue makes me want to full Assad and start gassing people in the streets. That crap just destroys the amazing flavor of pig. If I wanted to guzzle corn syrup and pepper, I'd just go ahead and do that.
 
2013-08-29 12:12:18 AM  
Actually, according to that recipe, I've been doing it pretty much right

/homemade sauce should never really be the same twice, anyway
 
2013-08-29 12:14:38 AM  
The best BBQ sauce is a rub.
 
2013-08-29 12:15:06 AM  
It is known!
 
2013-08-29 12:17:40 AM  
Dipping should be a criminal offence.
 
2013-08-29 12:19:26 AM  

ScreamingHangover: The best BBQ sauce is a rub.


Damn right, if you have to drown it in sauce, then it sucks
 
2013-08-29 12:21:47 AM  
Sounds right to me.
 
2013-08-29 12:23:48 AM  

kaylward: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 287x207]


I love Gates, but I grew up with Zarda too.

zarda.com

Mmmmmm. . .
 
2013-08-29 12:31:17 AM  

Iczer: Now I like most all BBQ sauces as much as the next guy, but you can take my mustard-based sauces when you pry them from my cold, lifeless hands bucko...

/no I'm not a Carolinian


I generally prefer a KC-style sauce, but I haven't yet tried a mustard-based one.  Now I'm intrigued...
 
2013-08-29 12:36:49 AM  
www.country933.com
 
2013-08-29 12:37:37 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Actually, according to that recipe, I've been doing it pretty much right

/homemade sauce should never really be the same twice, anyway


This. You have transcended the oh-so-mundane world of the "best BBQ" crowd.
 
2013-08-29 12:43:13 AM  
Goddammit Slate, stop being wrong about people being wrong about things.
 
2013-08-29 12:46:05 AM  
Oklahoma Joe's night if the living sauce!
 
2013-08-29 12:46:40 AM  
Of
 
2013-08-29 12:49:42 AM  

blue_2501: Fark that noise.  There's some damn good mustard-style BBQ out there.  Hell, my favorite actually ends up being from a chain:

[320x480 from http://www.hotshoppe.com/images/products/famdave_mustard.jpg image 320x480]

I'm sure others will counter with their favorite sauce that nobody has heard of.  So be it.  Let diversity be king.


I like that stuff quite a bit as well.

Ultimately, my favorite barbecue is either whole hog or pork shoulder.  And the best sauce for pulled or chopped pork, to me, is a simple mix of vinegar and hot sauce, with a dash of salt and cracked black pepper, absolutely no sugar.
 
2013-08-29 12:52:17 AM  
Obvious tag was off eating overly-sweet, ketchupy BBQ and drinking domestic swill out of an 11.5 ounce bowtie can.
 
2013-08-29 12:57:48 AM  
After moving near Richmond I had Sauer's BBQ sauce for the first time.  The company was originally out of Carolina but now I think it's based in Richmond.  It's good stuff.  Slightly vinegary, but not thin.
 
2013-08-29 01:01:35 AM  
Sauce is a myth. Dry rub the meat with spices for a day or two.

Also:

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-29 01:05:25 AM  
Also, you miserable bastards WISH you could get this BBQ:

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-29 01:19:34 AM  

blue_2501: Fark that noise.  There's some damn good mustard-style BBQ out there.  Hell, my favorite actually ends up being from a chain:

[320x480 from http://www.hotshoppe.com/images/products/famdave_mustard.jpg image 320x480]

I'm sure others will counter with their favorite sauce that nobody has heard of.  So be it.  Let diversity be king.


Yeah that is a kickass mustard style sauce - favorite Famous Dave's sauce too.
 
2013-08-29 01:25:20 AM  
That is the last time I get baited into clicking a slate link
 
2013-08-29 01:35:02 AM  

goatleggedfellow: Obvious tag was off eating overly-sweet, ketchupy BBQ and drinking domestic swill out of an 11.5 ounce bowtie can.


You haven't been to KC in a while have you?  Everyone knows that beer in Kansas City comes from Southwest Boulevard.  Tank 7 if you know what's good for you. Almost never served from an aluminum container, and certainly never one from a bowtie shaped can.
 
2013-08-29 01:54:11 AM  
I'm sorry if you've never had this.  It's not traditional Texas BBQ sauce, but it is the bomb.  Also Texas BBQ > all others.  I have much love for other BBQ, but brisket with sweet sugary sauce is the best.  You might like to know I still usually get it for ~59 cents a pound a few times a year. :D

farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2013-08-29 02:00:11 AM  

nucrash: goatleggedfellow: Obvious tag was off eating overly-sweet, ketchupy BBQ and drinking domestic swill out of an 11.5 ounce bowtie can.

You haven't been to KC in a while have you?  Everyone knows that beer in Kansas City comes from Southwest Boulevard.  Tank 7 if you know what's good for you. Almost never served from an aluminum container, and certainly never one from a bowtie shaped can.


Was trying to rip on the outsiders.

Heading back to KC next month. Will be hitting up Jack Stack and I'll take your advice on the Tank 7.

/Hard to get Boulevard out here in SD. Need some Dark Truth and Bully.
 
2013-08-29 02:09:23 AM  
Tennessee representing here, and my brother in law's family owned BBQ place that has been in business about 85 years would disagree with this article. Rock salt, powdered cayenne pepper, and apple cider vinegar makes the best sauce. If you're talking BBQ sauce as in ribs then you add the previous sauce, add ketchup, and sugar. Proportions make all the difference.
 
2013-08-29 02:13:41 AM  

ParagonComplex: Tennessee representing here, and my brother in law's family owned BBQ place that has been in business about 85 years would disagree with this article. Rock salt, powdered cayenne pepper, and apple cider vinegar makes the best sauce. If you're talking BBQ sauce as in ribs then you add the previous sauce, add ketchup, and sugar. Proportions make all the difference.


The best ribs I've ever had have been at a local Brazilian Churrascaria.  They take pork ribs and season them only with rock salt and pepper before cooking them over a charcoal fire.  It's not traditional 'low and slow' barbecue, but there's still a smokey hit from being cooked over a real flame, and they retain a nice bit of chew from not being cooked to death, plus they get a nice crisp crust.
 
2013-08-29 02:19:50 AM  
if it has onions or tomato in it, you ARE making it wrong

red wine vinegar, sarsaparilla, burdock, cinnamon, hard cane molasses, two different soy sauces (for the salt only), roast a garlic (then squeeze out into pot), various mustard seeds roast and ground, pulp of a selection of peppers rolled out with a stone rolling pin, 7 capers per pint, little bit of anchovy (1cc per pint-ish), peeled and pulped pear added fresh, little mint, little cardamom, dash of india stuff if you like it.  Keep it warm by the fire/oven.  (I like using weak coffee as the base water to mix it in.  Coffee makes awesome brownies too.)

Waste the juices from the first half hour of cooking then collect all drippings into the pot and start basting with this, keep collecting what comes off as best you can and mix in the meat juice and the fats - keep it warm and keep it on the meat.

Tomorrow, when the meat is done, you'll know what "farking awesome bar'b'que" is.  What's left will make kickass grits or a great topping for cornbread.
 
2013-08-29 02:22:37 AM  

prjindigo: if it has onions or tomato in it, you ARE making it wrong

red wine vinegar, sarsaparilla, burdock, cinnamon, hard cane molasses, two different soy sauces (for the salt only), roast a garlic (then squeeze out into pot), various mustard seeds roast and ground, pulp of a selection of peppers rolled out with a stone rolling pin, 7 capers per pint, little bit of anchovy (1cc per pint-ish), peeled and pulped pear added fresh, little mint, little cardamom, dash of india stuff if you like it.  Keep it warm by the fire/oven.  (I like using weak coffee as the base water to mix it in.  Coffee makes awesome brownies too.)

Waste the juices from the first half hour of cooking then collect all drippings into the pot and start basting with this, keep collecting what comes off as best you can and mix in the meat juice and the fats - keep it warm and keep it on the meat.

Tomorrow, when the meat is done, you'll know what "farking awesome bar'b'que" is.  What's left will make kickass grits or a great topping for cornbread.


tl; eat now
 
2013-08-29 02:25:07 AM  

blue_2501: Fark that noise.  There's some damn good mustard-style BBQ out there.  Hell, my favorite actually ends up being from a chain:

[320x480 from http://www.hotshoppe.com/images/products/famdave_mustard.jpg image 320x480]

I'm sure others will counter with their favorite sauce that nobody has heard of.  So be it.  Let diversity be king.


One of my favorites myself too. Whenever I visit the local FD's I can normally be found smothering everything in sight in it. It's not that FD's bad or dry or anything, it's just that damn good.
 
2013-08-29 02:43:37 AM  
White, 'Bama style sauce makes me all tingly in the trousers.

/thanks jebus for Moe's in Colorado, without them we would be the worst barbeque state in the country
 
2013-08-29 02:44:08 AM  
Damn straight.
 
2013-08-29 02:54:52 AM  
OhItsThisThreadAgain.jpg
 
2013-08-29 02:55:21 AM  

palladiate: That said, The times I've been to Memphis or Kansas City and had what they call barbecue makes me want to full Assad and start gassing people in the streets.


Too soon, man. Too soon.
 
2013-08-29 02:59:14 AM  

lohphat: OhItsThisThreadAgain.jpg


At least it ain't pizza
 
2013-08-29 03:02:45 AM  

dirkfunk: White, 'Bama style sauce makes me all tingly in the trousers.

/thanks jebus for Moe's in Colorado, without them we would be the worst barbeque state in the country


Louisiana is pretty bad, too, despite excelling at other cuisines. However, we do have a few good places, with this one being my personal favorite:

farm2.static.flickr.com

/note the wordplay
 
2013-08-29 03:04:20 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: lohphat: OhItsThisThreadAgain.jpg

At least it ain't pizza


Or bicyclists, tipping, circumcision (see what I did there?) or "atheism is a religion."
 
2013-08-29 03:06:33 AM  

dickfreckle: MaudlinMutantMollusk: lohphat: OhItsThisThreadAgain.jpg

At least it ain't pizza

Or bicyclists, tipping, circumcision (see what I did there?) or "atheism is a religion."


Well... there's an entire week's worth of greenlights right there

/they should be paying US for this
 
2013-08-29 03:08:19 AM  
NO ARTHUR BRYANT'S!?

arthurbryantsbbq.com

Fixed that for you. This stuff is legend.

/ Presidents are fans.
 
2013-08-29 03:14:50 AM  
Tiger Sauce and honey.
 
2013-08-29 03:18:39 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: dickfreckle: MaudlinMutantMollusk: lohphat: OhItsThisThreadAgain.jpg

At least it ain't pizza

Or bicyclists, tipping, circumcision (see what I did there?) or "atheism is a religion."

Well... there's an entire week's worth of greenlights right there

/they should be paying US for this


It's like that scene in Midnight Cowboy where Joe Buck services the MILF and he ends up paying her.
 
2013-08-29 03:20:47 AM  

prjindigo: if it has onions or tomato in it, you ARE making it wrong

red wine vinegar, sarsaparilla, burdock, cinnamon, hard cane molasses, two different soy sauces (for the salt only), roast a garlic (then squeeze out into pot), various mustard seeds roast and ground, pulp of a selection of peppers rolled out with a stone rolling pin, 7 capers per pint, little bit of anchovy (1cc per pint-ish), peeled and pulped pear added fresh, little mint, little cardamom, dash of india stuff if you like it.  Keep it warm by the fire/oven.  (I like using weak coffee as the base water to mix it in.  Coffee makes awesome brownies too.)

Waste the juices from the first half hour of cooking then collect all drippings into the pot and start basting with this, keep collecting what comes off as best you can and mix in the meat juice and the fats - keep it warm and keep it on the meat.

Tomorrow, when the meat is done, you'll know what "farking awesome bar'b'que" is.  What's left will make kickass grits or a great topping for cornbread.


If that was anything close to a recipe I might try it.  Instead, it's just the words in your head blurted out in a post with no measurement or sense of order at all.

ADD much?
 
2013-08-29 03:21:33 AM  

dickfreckle: MaudlinMutantMollusk: dickfreckle: MaudlinMutantMollusk: lohphat: OhItsThisThreadAgain.jpg

At least it ain't pizza

Or bicyclists, tipping, circumcision (see what I did there?) or "atheism is a religion."

Well... there's an entire week's worth of greenlights right there

/they should be paying US for this

It's like that scene in Midnight Cowboy where Joe Buck services the MILF and he ends up paying her.



Ratso? Is that you?

/dude... you said you wouldn't talk...
 
2013-08-29 03:22:54 AM  
THEN I look at her ( the writer's ) location -- Brooklyn New York. THEN I read her recipe, which I stopped at ingredient one, farking ketchup. I blew a gasket.

THEN I realized this lady thinks that K.C. Masterpiece is actually Kansas City style. It isn't. It's a corporate name, made up to sell Kingsford's bar-b-q sauce. Anyone that's actually eaten Kansas City Bar-B-Q knows it's the rub, and sauces like Gates and Bryant's are almost devoid of sweeteners. They're designed to be cooked into the meat and DO THEY!

/ and both Gates and Bryant's had to make sweetened versions of their sauces for the Brooklyn types.
 
2013-08-29 03:32:13 AM  
No subby, you're the 'fail'.   The recipe looks good to me.
 
2013-08-29 03:36:06 AM  
th258.photobucket.com

Also, KC BBQ is best BBQ.

Disagree?  Bring your best up to the American Royal and show us how it's done.
 
Displayed 50 of 109 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report