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(Denver Channel)   Denver Zoo: We should let visitors hand-feed our rhinoceros. What could possibly go wrong?   (thedenverchannel.com) divider line 46
    More: Fail, Denver Zoo, Denver, Association of Zoos  
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7544 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Aug 2013 at 6:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-28 11:18:59 PM  
You might not know it, but the skin right around a rhino's horn is soft like velvet. Totally worth the finger if you get a chance to feel it.
 
2013-08-28 11:40:47 PM  
Rhinos have teeth?

/who knew?
//McCain used to, I guess
 
2013-08-28 11:44:15 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Rhinos have teeth?

/who knew?


Meat is weak. There's no cell wall around meat. Carnivores don't even need teeth in many cases, they can just use a beak or suck the juices out swallow small prey animals whole.

Plants are strong. They have that cellulose cell wall that keeps them strong enough to build a house with after they die. Herbivores have crazy strong teeth and usually regrow them to boot.
 
2013-08-28 11:45:48 PM  

doglover: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Rhinos have teeth?

/who knew?


Meat is weak. There's no cell wall around meat. Carnivores don't even need teeth in many cases, they can just use a beak or suck the juices out swallow small prey animals whole.

Plants are strong. They have that cellulose cell wall that keeps them strong enough to build a house with after they die. Herbivores have crazy strong teeth and usually regrow them to boot.


Thank you, Dr. Jokechoker

/go be serious someplace else
 
2013-08-28 11:48:55 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: doglover: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Rhinos have teeth?

/who knew?


Meat is weak. There's no cell wall around meat. Carnivores don't even need teeth in many cases, they can just use a beak or suck the juices out swallow small prey animals whole.

Plants are strong. They have that cellulose cell wall that keeps them strong enough to build a house with after they die. Herbivores have crazy strong teeth and usually regrow them to boot.

Thank you, Dr. Jokechoker

/go be serious someplace else


Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot rhino is a political term.

Nice joke.
 
2013-08-28 11:50:56 PM  

doglover: MaudlinMutantMollusk: doglover: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Rhinos have teeth?

/who knew?


Meat is weak. There's no cell wall around meat. Carnivores don't even need teeth in many cases, they can just use a beak or suck the juices out swallow small prey animals whole.

Plants are strong. They have that cellulose cell wall that keeps them strong enough to build a house with after they die. Herbivores have crazy strong teeth and usually regrow them to boot.

Thank you, Dr. Jokechoker

/go be serious someplace else

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot rhino is a political term.

Nice joke.


Well, now you don't need to be patronizing, either

/it's a pretty dumb joke
//but I did know herbivores have teeth
 
2013-08-29 12:32:06 AM  
Rhinos are herbivores and Mshindi's diet consists of hands, fruits, vegetables and grains.
 
2013-08-29 03:52:44 AM  
Sounds like she did hand-feed the rhino.
 
2013-08-29 06:25:02 AM  
My sister was bitten by a Mshindi.
 
2013-08-29 06:34:56 AM  
If this person that was bit was looking for a hand out, she got more than she bargained for.

Oh wait.... it was only her finger, suck it up lady.

I hope she signed a waiver before the feeding, I don't want the zoo getting screwed.
 
2013-08-29 06:35:09 AM  
Better keep an eye on this lady when the moon is full, lest she turn into a were-rhino

/Stephanie Myers is probably writing the fanfic now
 
2013-08-29 06:37:41 AM  
They used to have petting zoos all over the place back in the days before the lawyer boom.  They stopped because of incidents like this.  I guess people just don't learn history anymore in this country.
 
2013-08-29 06:39:00 AM  
I see nothing wrong with hand feeding visitors to the rinos
 
2013-08-29 06:49:25 AM  
So, a bite to the finger requires an ambulance trip to the hospital? It doesn't say it bit the finger off or anything! Are they worried about rhino-rabies or something? I would've thought a band aid and a free pass would be all that's required given how trivial the incident sounds...
 
2013-08-29 06:49:27 AM  
static.tvfanatic.com

/seriously intertubes? not one picture of the "I Dated a Robot" scene?
//keep your palms flat!
 
2013-08-29 06:54:58 AM  
I DNRTFA but can think of about 10 things off the top of my head that could go wrong:

1) someone loses a hand
2) some pervert loses a different part of their anatomy getting frisky
3) child's head gets eaten on accident
4) greater chance of someone getting impaled
5) farker charging right through the gate when someone pisses it off
6) someone feeding it something that makes it sick
7) someone feeding it viagra. See back to item 2
8) someone giving it drugs. Do you wanna see a rhino on acid? Me nei...well...let me get back to you
9) the rhino aquiring the taste for human blood after eating someone
10) subjecting the rhino to the general public and screeming kids on a regular basis

And that's just the short list
 
2013-08-29 06:55:49 AM  
Biatch deserved it. Some dumbfark twunt was shaking the food at him in an attemp to make him "earn" it as a pet would a treat. She learned the hard way not to feed a rhino.

Trust me. I am the absolute authority on matters such as this.

/I have a GED in Rhino law
 
2013-08-29 06:58:48 AM  
if you stick your finger in a rhinos mouth while it's chewing, guess what happens?

/it was her fault
//better shoot the Rhino anyway
///just in case
 
2013-08-29 07:03:03 AM  
When I was a kid I once visited the zoo in Cairo, Egypt where you could feed the hippos. They'd sit there with their mouths open and you could go right up to them with an armful of vegetables and just dump them in their mouths. At the time, I had no idea what a tremendously dangerous idea that was.
 
2013-08-29 07:08:50 AM  
My son worked at a zoo for a few summers.  Didn't get up close to a rhino, but we did get behind-the-scenes for a hippo.

The greatest risk is having your foot stepped on.  It's like having a truck run over your foot, it could be debilitating for life.  They have all sorts of precautions against being stepped upon.

Feeding him was cool, but there was no hand-feeding like you would a horse or a goat.  The hippo would happily open his mouth while you threw in half-heads of lettuce.

I have to think that if they developed a "rhino encounter" with insurance/safety in mind, that the injured person was given the ground rules, and violated them.
 
2013-08-29 07:11:07 AM  

This Amp Goes To 11: When I was a kid I once visited the zoo in Cairo, Egypt where you could feed the hippos. They'd sit there with their mouths open and you could go right up to them with an armful of vegetables and just dump them in their mouths. At the time, I had no idea what a tremendously dangerous idea that was.


Were they hungry, hungry hippos?
 
2013-08-29 07:22:33 AM  
i.cdn.travel.cnn.com

...this kid died from rhino wounds moments after this photo was taken. At first I assumed that this violent incident occurred because he is a fat kid, being all fat and what not. However, in this particular case that would be ridiculous to assume when we all know that EVERYBODY, including rhinos, hates fat kids.
 
2013-08-29 07:27:51 AM  

doglover: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Rhinos have teeth?

/who knew?


Meat is weak. There's no cell wall around meat. Carnivores don't even need teeth in many cases, they can just use a beak or suck the juices out swallow small prey animals whole.

Plants are strong. They have that cellulose cell wall that keeps them strong enough to build a house with after they die. Herbivores have crazy strong teeth and usually regrow them to boot.


tooply.com

Why so rhinocerious?
 
2013-08-29 07:33:49 AM  
Does he bite? No, but he'll ram the hell outta ya.
 
2013-08-29 07:34:21 AM  
Hand-feeding a rhino can't be much fun. I'm waiting for the "slap the lion's balls" exhibit to open.
 
2013-08-29 07:39:18 AM  
Open palm, dammit.
 
2013-08-29 07:42:28 AM  

doglover: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Rhinos have teeth?

/who knew?


Meat is weak. There's no cell wall around meat. Carnivores don't even need teeth in many cases, they can just use a beak or suck the juices out swallow small prey animals whole.

Plants are strong. They have that cellulose cell wall that keeps them strong enough to build a house with after they die. Herbivores have crazy strong teeth and usually regrow them to boot.


"Now, who here likes a good story about a bridge? "
 
2013-08-29 07:50:47 AM  
Who else thinks "hand-feed the rhinoceros" would be a great euphemism?
 
2013-08-29 07:53:40 AM  

LordOfThePings: doglover: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Rhinos have teeth?

/who knew?


Meat is weak. There's no cell wall around meat. Carnivores don't even need teeth in many cases, they can just use a beak or suck the juices out swallow small prey animals whole.

Plants are strong. They have that cellulose cell wall that keeps them strong enough to build a house with after they die. Herbivores have crazy strong teeth and usually regrow them to boot.

[570x395 from http://tooply.com/photo/item/570/5725543235755.jpg image 570x395]

Why so rhinocerious?


How about a magic trick?

I'm gonna make this horn... disappear.

TA-DAAAAAA!!!

i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2013-08-29 07:57:47 AM  

stratagos: Better keep an eye on this lady when the moon is full, lest she turn into a were-rhino

/Stephanie Myers is probably writing the fanfic now


I thought Stephanie Myers was the rhino
 
2013-08-29 08:00:42 AM  

stratagos: Better keep an eye on this lady when the moon is full, lest she turn into a were-rhino

/Stephanie Myers is probably writing the fanfic now


What a lady were-rhino might look like:

fc04.deviantart.net
 
2013-08-29 08:09:50 AM  
Hey, I know what I'm going to do when I retire.  Open an alligator petting zoo for Florida tourists!

/evil cackle
 
2013-08-29 08:22:56 AM  
"I thought you said your rhinoceros doesn't bite."
"That's not my rhinoceros."
 
2013-08-29 08:23:56 AM  

digitalrain: stratagos: Better keep an eye on this lady when the moon is full, lest she turn into a were-rhino

/Stephanie Myers is probably writing the fanfic now

What a lady were-rhino might look like:

[fc04.deviantart.net image 798x1481]


Dammit internet. Knock that shiat off.
 
2013-08-29 08:37:15 AM  
Rhino bites can be pretty nasti.
 
2013-08-29 08:40:21 AM  
Marijuana is legal there. The whole state is high. Explains the whole program.
 
2013-08-29 08:43:50 AM  
excited !   userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2013-08-29 09:29:44 AM  

abhorrent1: if you stick your finger in a rhinos mouth while it's chewing, guess what happens?

/it was her fault
//better shoot the Rhino anyway
///just in case


I like the way you thought this through.  Well done.

/can I have the rhino horn after you've shot the evil-doer?
//don't know what I'd do with it, let it collect dust most likely
 
2013-08-29 09:34:57 AM  

Walker: Marijuana is legal there. The whole state is high. Explains the whole program.


Wait, wut?

They were probably trying to feed weed to the damn thing, and it was all 'I can almost eat my own hand, man' and then it ate a hand.
 
2013-08-29 11:02:04 AM  

DrPainMD: Hand-feeding a rhino can't be much fun. I'm waiting for the "slap the lion's balls" exhibit to open.


I prefer the tickle the Tiger's taint, if you do it just right you can make them purr.
 
2013-08-29 12:16:11 PM  

Iczer: [static.tvfanatic.com image 556x321]

/seriously intertubes? not one picture of the "I Dated a Robot" scene?
//keep your palms flat!


Yeah, that's the first thing I expected, too. This place got sort of unfunny while I was gone. It's like nearly every post is being made by my grandpa.

/And he's dead!
//Bazinga?
 
2013-08-29 12:19:42 PM  
FTA
"Mshindi's diet consists of hay, fruits, vegetables, fingers and grains."

FTFY
 
2013-08-29 12:38:28 PM  
I hand fed my rhino last night.
 
2013-08-29 12:55:44 PM  

doglover: You might not know it, but the skin right around a rhino's horn is soft like velvet. Totally worth the finger if you get a chance to feel it.


Also the skin on its belly, underneath and just in front of its back legs.  It felt weird to be feeling up a rhino, but the skin was amazing.

/that's what she said.
//rhino didn't even notice
 
2013-08-29 05:02:16 PM  
On the photo safaris at the San Diego Wild Animal Park, you get to feed giraffes and, if they are feeling sociable, rhinos. I highly recommend it.
 
2013-08-30 08:15:42 AM  

dotvincent: doglover: You might not know it, but the skin right around a rhino's horn is soft like velvet. Totally worth the finger if you get a chance to feel it.

Also the skin on its belly, underneath and just in front of its back legs.  It felt weird to be feeling up a rhino, but the skin was amazing.

/that's what she said.
//rhino didn't even notice


That wasn't it's belly!
 
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