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(Des Moines Register)   Cougar sighting keeps elementary school students inside during recess. Witnesses say they could smell the perfume and see the high heels from fifty yards   (desmoinesregister.com) divider line 48
    More: Scary, elementary schools, cougar sighting, cougars  
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3443 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Aug 2013 at 11:02 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-28 08:50:45 PM
I know they go after younger men, but 9 years old, dude?
 
2013-08-28 09:09:33 PM
imageshack.us
 
2013-08-28 10:52:55 PM

High heel thread?


//grabs popcorn



1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-08-28 11:05:14 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-28 11:08:56 PM
art.penny-arcade.com
 
2013-08-28 11:09:40 PM
Mandatory in such threads:
art.penny-arcade.com
 
2013-08-28 11:11:23 PM
And still; the department of agriculture and the game wardens refuse to even acknolage the possibility of resident big cats in states like Kansas and Missouri. They saw this one in Iowa.

/ this is what happens when you let urban deer populations explode
 
2013-08-28 11:11:29 PM
Run into one in your 20s and watch the sparks fly out her a**. "Uh no, you're not going to sleep, you're going all night." You just might get hooked ;-)
 
2013-08-28 11:11:45 PM
jinx!

send me pictures of boobs
 
2013-08-28 11:12:15 PM

JohnAnnArbor: Mandatory in such threads:
[800x401 from http://art.penny-arcade.com/photos/360327865_dL436-L-2.jpg image 800x401]


I like where your head is at.
 
2013-08-28 11:14:32 PM

FrancoFile: I know they go after younger men, but 9 years old, dude?


Eight-year-olds, Dude.
 
2013-08-28 11:14:51 PM

John Buck 41: High heel thread?
//grabs popcorn


I'm an old old man. I done been here at Fark for nigh on eleven years an ain't never seen no high heel thread.
 
2013-08-28 11:19:40 PM

picturescrazy: John Buck 41: High heel thread?
//grabs popcorn

I'm an old old man. I done been here at Fark for nigh on eleven years an ain't never seen no high heel thread.


Maybe you've seen these threads referred to with some other phrase. Hooker heels? Spikes? Fark Me shoes?


www.answersfrommen.com
 
2013-08-28 11:19:57 PM
I hope the officers going after this cat had more than just their service pistols. That's just going to piss it off a little before it rips your face off.

I would actually rather see the cat relocated. It isn't a maneater just for prowling around.
 
2013-08-28 11:20:03 PM
That's not too far from where one was shot by the police a few months back. Can't imagine it would attack a large group of kids in broad daylight, but one or two walking home would be pretty tempting if its hungry.

Someone from Iowa DNR once told me that they think all the mountain lions we see are male - that they have been pushing farther east every year looking for females.

iheartscotch: / this is what happens when you let urban deer populations explode


Pretty much, yeah. There are some mornings where I'll see 20+ in different places on my commute... from Urbandale to Camp Dodge. That's why I'm so torn whenever there's a mountain lion sighting. Don't want to see kids get hurt by one, but damned if our coyotes couldn't use the backup.
 
2013-08-28 11:21:30 PM
Why hasn't this been posted yet?
art.penny-arcade.com
 
2013-08-28 11:21:47 PM

picturescrazy: John Buck 41: High heel thread?
//grabs popcorn

I'm an old old man. I done been here at Fark for nigh on eleven years an ain't never seen no high heel thread.


You weren't kidding. Eleven years in 38 minutes.
 
2013-08-28 11:22:18 PM

iheartscotch: And still; the department of agriculture and the game wardens refuse to even acknolage the possibility of resident big cats in states like Kansas and Missouri. They saw this one in Iowa.

/ this is what happens when you let urban deer populations explode


Is "urban deer" another name for "small, delicious children"?
 
2013-08-28 11:24:47 PM
img.fark.net

Can't believe I'm the first to put this up!
 
2013-08-28 11:27:16 PM
I bet you anything that if you'd just set the entire population of kindergarteners and 1st graders after the mountain lion, it would have turn tail and fled, never to be seen again. Nothing is so horrific as 150 children screaming "KITTY!" and running full-tilt-boogie with single-minded determination towards their goal.
 
2013-08-28 11:30:28 PM
In Detroit they know to shoot and shovel.
 
2013-08-28 11:33:48 PM

John Buck 41: picturescrazy: John Buck 41: High heel thread?
//grabs popcorn

I'm an old old man. I done been here at Fark for nigh on eleven years an ain't never seen no high heel thread.

You weren't kidding. Eleven years in 38 minutes.


Ha I didn't know it was that close.
 
2013-08-28 11:35:43 PM
Nobody, yet? Really?

img.fark.net

You guys disappoint me, sometimes.
 
2013-08-28 11:41:00 PM
Clear heels? ... something something Chris Rock. ..
 
2013-08-28 11:43:06 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Run into one in your 20s and watch the sparks fly out her a**. "Uh no, you're not going to sleep, you're going all night." You just might get hooked ;-)


I did, about 35 years ago...I was 21, she was 33. Pretty wild while it lasted.
 
2013-08-28 11:43:29 PM

clkeagle: That's not too far from where one was shot by the police a few months back. Can't imagine it would attack a large group of kids in broad daylight, but one or two walking home would be pretty tempting if its hungry.

Someone from Iowa DNR once told me that they think all the mountain lions we see are male - that they have been pushing farther east every year looking for females.

iheartscotch: / this is what happens when you let urban deer populations explode

Pretty much, yeah. There are some mornings where I'll see 20+ in different places on my commute... from Urbandale to Camp Dodge. That's why I'm so torn whenever there's a mountain lion sighting. Don't want to see kids get hurt by one, but damned if our coyotes couldn't use the backup.


Indeed.

I think we should sell exclusively urban deer tags; with an emphasis on bow and crossbow hunting. But, then PETA would freak and try to help the fuzzy deer; not realizing that the fuzzy deer attract coyotes and big cats. And more urban deer can actually cause other deer to die of starvation.

/ several law enforcement groups in the area keep suppressed rifles for the fuzzy park deer; who often end up as the main course at the homeless shelters.
 
2013-08-28 11:44:26 PM

John Buck 41: picturescrazy: John Buck 41: High heel thread?
//grabs popcorn

I'm an old old man. I done been here at Fark for nigh on eleven years an ain't never seen no high heel thread.

Maybe you've seen these threads referred to with some other phrase. Hooker heels? Spikes? Fark Me shoes?
[850x842 from http://www.answersfrommen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/hooker-heels. jpg image 850x842]


i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-28 11:45:17 PM

telejester: I did, about 35 years ago...I was 21, she was 33. Pretty wild while it lasted.


Yep. Pretty wild / pretty good stuff.
 
2013-08-28 11:46:14 PM

Chinchillazilla: iheartscotch: And still; the department of agriculture and the game wardens refuse to even acknolage the possibility of resident big cats in states like Kansas and Missouri. They saw this one in Iowa.

/ this is what happens when you let urban deer populations explode

Is "urban deer" another name for "small, delicious children"?


Well; if you consider small to be in the 200-300 lbs neighborhood and if by children, you ment fuzzy animals; then yes.
 
2013-08-28 11:47:02 PM

picturescrazy: John Buck 41: High heel thread?
//grabs popcorn

I'm an old old man. I done been here at Fark for nigh on eleven years an ain't never seen no high heel thread.


I have a thing for socks
I think there has been one or two sock threads

/socks on womens feet
i877.photobucket.com
//jeeze, bunch of self-satisfying pervs ya all are
///not that there's anything wrong with that
 
2013-08-28 11:47:40 PM

telejester: WhoopAssWayne: Run into one in your 20s and watch the sparks fly out her a**. "Uh no, you're not going to sleep, you're going all night." You just might get hooked ;-)

I did, about 35 years ago...I was 21, she was 33. Pretty wild while it lasted.


I did, about 4 years ago.  I was 26, she was 36.  I forgot to pull out.  TADA!!

/Older women make beautiful children
//[Doingitwrong.jpg]
 
2013-08-28 11:48:25 PM
It could also be an old one that is no longer able to hunt. It could be lurking around the apartments to scavenge through the trash for food.
 
2013-08-28 11:55:23 PM

iheartscotch: I think we should sell exclusively urban deer tags; with an emphasis on bow and crossbow hunting. But, then PETA would freak and try to help the fuzzy deer; not realizing that the fuzzy deer attract coyotes and big cats. And more urban deer can actually cause other deer to die of starvation.

/ several law enforcement groups in the area keep suppressed rifles for the fuzzy park deer; who often end up as the main course at the homeless shelters.


As much as I approve of boosting hunting in areas with too many deer, I don't see how you could do it safely in an urban area even with bows or crossbows.  And given how many rounds law enforcement has been known to expend on someone who wasn't even resisting arrest, I wouldn't want them taking pot shots at deer either.
 
2013-08-28 11:59:41 PM
loosegarments.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-08-29 12:00:23 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-08-29 12:01:55 AM
 
2013-08-29 12:13:49 AM

flondrix: iheartscotch: I think we should sell exclusively urban deer tags; with an emphasis on bow and crossbow hunting. But, then PETA would freak and try to help the fuzzy deer; not realizing that the fuzzy deer attract coyotes and big cats. And more urban deer can actually cause other deer to die of starvation.

/ several law enforcement groups in the area keep suppressed rifles for the fuzzy park deer; who often end up as the main course at the homeless shelters.

As much as I approve of boosting hunting in areas with too many deer, I don't see how you could do it safely in an urban area even with bows or crossbows.  And given how many rounds law enforcement has been known to expend on someone who wasn't even resisting arrest, I wouldn't want them taking pot shots at deer either.


I wouldn't be too concerned with bows or crossbows; to be perfectly honest. The max kill range on either, depending on the skill of the archer, is about 40-50 yards. And it's not like you'd be shooting in neighborhoods; urban deer are worst in parks that don't have anyone using them at night.

As to the police here; they actually have to pass accuracy certifications to be a part of law enforcement. And they aren't taking pot shots; I know of several game wardens who do it from less than 100 yards away, with the blessing of the state mind you, and haven't missed yet.

/ in that situation; you use a relatively small caliber, hollow point bullet and you line up your shot with a bullet stop
 
2013-08-29 01:22:15 AM
img.fark.net

If there's one thing that Penny Arcade has in common with XKCD, it's that they will almost certainly have a comic that's relevant to any discussion on any internet forum.

/well, that, and the fact that they're both web comics
//so the two things they have in common are relevance, the fact that they're web comics with very distinct art styles....
///the three things these two active web comics have in common...
////I'll come in again
 
2013-08-29 01:35:28 AM

RadicalArcher: I bet you anything that if you'd just set the entire population of kindergarteners and 1st graders after the mountain lion, it would have turn tail and fled, never to be seen again. Nothing is so horrific as 150 children screaming "KITTY!" and running full-tilt-boogie with single-minded determination towards their goal.


If you've read this then you would understand why the cougar would flee from a kid shouting "Kitty!". And if you haven't read it I unreservedly recommend it.
media.arstechnica.com
 
2013-08-29 01:42:29 AM

Fano: In Detroit they know to shoot and shovel.


Damn straight

CSB:  Last year in Iowa City a cougar walked across the playground of my cousins' elementary school.  It was probably best for all parties that this didn't happen during recess and all of the kids were inside.  Anyway, all the kids had to be picked up by an adult inside the school at the end of the day and no children or cougars were harmed.
 
2013-08-29 01:59:23 AM

Alicious: It could also be an old one that is no longer able to hunt. It could be lurking around the apartments to scavenge through the trash for food.


Doubtful. Mountain lions aren't garbage scavengers. Old ones start hanging out near jogging paths or eating small pets; but rarely dig into garbage cans. They're active predators, like wolves. No: This one was scoping out those plump little children on the playground.
 
2013-08-29 02:28:25 AM
This is the direct result of obese children. The little butterballs are irresistible to mountain lions, wolves, etc.

cookingforhealth.biz
 
2013-08-29 02:38:02 AM
Des Moines police officers shot and killed a mountain lion, the first ever killed by the department, Oct. 4, 2012, in the 3900 block of Columbia Street. It had been seen earlier that morning around an elementary school.

Hey, fark you guys! Don't kill the pretty kitties! :(
 
2013-08-29 03:59:54 AM
This happened in Columbus, Ohio recently as well except it was two coyotes prowling around outside of an elementary school during school hours. They shot and killed at least one of them (never heard a follow up on the second) so the kids could go outside and play at recess.
 
2013-08-29 04:28:13 AM

Pentaxian: RadicalArcher: I bet you anything that if you'd just set the entire population of kindergarteners and 1st graders after the mountain lion, it would have turn tail and fled, never to be seen again. Nothing is so horrific as 150 children screaming "KITTY!" and running full-tilt-boogie with single-minded determination towards their goal.

If you've read this then you would understand why the cougar would flee from a kid shouting "Kitty!". And if you haven't read it I unreservedly recommend it.
[media.arstechnica.com image 288x426]


Not in the butt, not in the butt, not in the butt.
 
2013-08-29 05:22:40 AM
It's one way to get kids to exercise.
 
2013-08-29 01:53:49 PM
Whats odd is teachers haven't chased them out of there territory.
 
2013-08-29 05:16:36 PM

Matthew Keene: This is the direct result of obese children. The little butterballs are irresistible to mountain lions, wolves, etc.

[cookingforhealth.biz image 406x289]


It looks like that kid is wearing one of those fake sumo wrestler padded suits... only he's not. The caption for that picture has to be, "Are you going to eat that?"
 
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