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(Guardian)   Man steals his father's body from the cemetery to "bring him back to life." SPOILER ALERT: it didn't work   (theguardian.com) divider line 74
    More: Dumbass, competent to stand trial  
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4076 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Aug 2013 at 5:14 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-28 04:08:49 PM
NOT ENOUGH SPOILER SPACE!
 
2013-08-28 04:15:56 PM
Resurrected in Detroit? That, atheists, is hell! REPENT!
 
2013-08-28 04:37:21 PM
....Yet.
 
2013-08-28 04:56:01 PM
A conviction on the charge of disinterring a body could have brought up to 10 years in prison.

A dime for stealing a corpse? That's what you get for armed robbery. Digging up a corpse is a victimless crime. Trespassing and property damage to the cemetery grounds at most.
 
2013-08-28 05:03:58 PM
Sometimes, dead's bettah.
 
2013-08-28 05:04:18 PM
Bernie?
 
2013-08-28 05:07:09 PM
Was his name Herbert West?
 
2013-08-28 05:17:00 PM

Mugato: A conviction on the charge of disinterring a body could have brought up to 10 years in prison.

A dime for stealing a corpse? That's what you get for armed robbery. Digging up a corpse is a victimless crime. Trespassing and property damage to the cemetery grounds at most.


They always assume if you dug them up, you're having your way with them.
 
2013-08-28 05:17:13 PM
Was his dad named Bruce?

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-08-28 05:17:24 PM

Mugato: A conviction on the charge of disinterring a body could have brought up to 10 years in prison.

A dime for stealing a corpse? That's what you get for armed robbery. Digging up a corpse is a victimless crime. Trespassing and property damage to the cemetery grounds at most.


Could we perhaps sentence him to fines and 10 years in a mental ward?  Or perhaps 9 years in a mental ward and 1 year of science?
 
2013-08-28 05:17:42 PM
Naturally, the story as written is shallow and doesn't give any details.

But it could be a rather sad story if this guy misses his dad that much.

/welcometofark.jpg
 
2013-08-28 05:18:21 PM

SamFlagg: Could we perhaps sentence him


The guy lives in Detroit; that's enough of a sentence in my mind.
 
2013-08-28 05:18:40 PM

FunkOut: They always assume if you dug them up, you're having your way with them.


Shouldn't he be getting brought up on charges of sodomy and incest, also, then?
 
2013-08-28 05:20:47 PM

Mugato: A conviction on the charge of disinterring a body could have brought up to 10 years in prison.

A dime for stealing a corpse? That's what you get for armed robbery. Digging up a corpse is a victimless crime. Trespassing and property damage to the cemetery grounds at most.


In more sensible times it would have earned him a stint in a psych ward.
 
2013-08-28 05:28:03 PM

FunkOut: They always assume if you dug them up, you're having your way with them.


Still, a victimless crime.

Sam Kinison on homosexual necrophilia

It never ends! IT NEVER ENDS!
 
2013-08-28 05:29:26 PM

LessO2: Naturally, the story as written is shallow and doesn't give any details.

But it could be a rather sad story if this guy misses his dad that much.

/welcometofark.jpg


From a different article:

Bright told family members that he took the body to resurrect his 93-year-old father through prayer

So of course he's clearly not insane because Jesus.


DammitIForgotMyLogin: Was his name Herbert West?


Who's going to believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow.
 
2013-08-28 05:33:30 PM
I'd say SAD tag is more appropriate.   This guy needs a lot of help.
 
2013-08-28 05:33:38 PM
www.frankenland-versand.de
 
2013-08-28 05:33:43 PM

fusillade762: Bright told family members that he took the body to resurrect his 93-year-old father through prayer

So of course he's clearly not insane because Jesus.


Yeah but every Republican proclaims that God told them to run for President and people are like, "Wow. Have a bumper sticker?"
 
2013-08-28 05:35:00 PM

Mugato: A conviction on the charge of disinterring a body could have brought up to 10 years in prison.

A dime for stealing a corpse? That's what you get for armed robbery. Digging up a corpse is a victimless crime. Trespassing and property damage to the cemetery grounds at most.


The victims are the family and friends of the person who's body it was. Some of them might find the experience traumatic. I do believe 10 years is extreme but I guess it depends on the circumstances.

I don't think that man should be institutionalized except if he is suicidal. He should seek someone to help him mourn, be it a doctor, a friend of a family member.

Does anyone legally owns the corpses buried in a graveyard ?
 
2013-08-28 05:35:24 PM
10 years is a stiff sentence.
 
2013-08-28 05:35:37 PM
beyondthemarquee.com

"Sometimes dead is better."
 
2013-08-28 05:37:53 PM
Sure, you're all laughing now, but just think how much he'd be laughing if it had worked!
 
2013-08-28 05:38:19 PM
Just didn't put him in the right cemetery ...
 
2013-08-28 05:39:18 PM

talkertopc: The victims are the family and friends of the person who's body it was. Some of them might find the experience traumatic. I do believe 10 years is extreme but I guess it depends on the circumstances.


Then they can sue for pain and suffering or some bullshiat but it's a corpse. I dunno. Me and my family are getting cremated and couldn't care less what they do with the ashes. But I guess most people feel differently about their decomposing loved ones.
 
2013-08-28 05:39:39 PM
"He seems to be doing well," his defence lawyer Gerald Karafa told the Associated Press on Tuesday.

Who is doing well, the father or the son? Dad is still thawing before getting back to decomposing.
 
2013-08-28 05:39:49 PM
Find a Micmac burial ground and you're in business.
 
2013-08-28 05:40:41 PM

toraque: Sure, you're all laughing now, but just think how much he'd be laughing if it had worked!


I read this in Jack Handy's voice.
 
2013-08-28 05:40:53 PM
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/824/4dk3.png/">http://img824.imag eshack.us/img824/6748/4dk3.png">
Uploaded with http://imageshack.us">ImageShack.us
 It's Alive!
 
2013-08-28 05:42:10 PM

WippitGuud: Was his dad named Bruce?

[400x300 from http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eV_5bPpK6OA/UIqfDgQQsbI/AAAAAAAAEV0/tFMPhZKJ MYw/s400/HHOF_01.png image 400x300]


Of course. Everyone is named Bruce to avoid confusion.

/And Charlie, for a much more obscure reference.
 
2013-08-28 05:42:12 PM

Mugato: FunkOut: They always assume if you dug them up, you're having your way with them.

Still, a victimless crime.

Sam Kinison on homosexual necrophilia

It never ends! IT NEVER ENDS!


People get very upset about what happens to expired fleshy avatars.
 
2013-08-28 05:42:21 PM
I don't want to be 

mutterfark: [600x339 from http://beyondthemarquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/pet_sematary_07 _stor1.jpeg image 600x339]

"Sometimes dead is better."


I don't want to be buried
In a Pet Semetary
Don't want to live my life again
 
2013-08-28 05:43:55 PM
Buffy: To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like this whole big sucking thing. Mostly...they're just gonna kill you.
 
2013-08-28 05:44:14 PM
www.ufunk.net

Luke, I am your flavor.
 
2013-08-28 05:46:08 PM
In his defense, how much would it have sucked if it had worked but he had left the body in the grave.
 
2013-08-28 05:46:33 PM

"Vincent Bright, 49, stole the body of 93-year-old Clarence Bright from Gethsemane cemetery on 14 January and stored it in a home freezer."


It's always sad when a man doesn't live up to the family name.

 
2013-08-28 05:50:05 PM
modern-vinyl.com

Amateurs.
 
2013-08-28 05:51:31 PM

Fano: Find a Micmac burial ground and you're in business.

Or a planet named Genesis.

 
2013-08-28 05:52:28 PM

mutterfark: "Sometimes dead is better."


Smelly Pirate Hooker: Just didn't put him in the right cemetery ...


Fano: Find a Micmac burial ground and you're in business.


Came for the Pet Semetary references.

/satisfied
 
2013-08-28 05:54:21 PM
The sentence may seem extreme to you, but sadly the circumstances leading to the Tall Man Memorial Necro-Midgets Abolition Act have demonstrated the need for measures like these.
 
2013-08-28 05:56:38 PM

FunkOut: People get very upset about what happens to expired fleshy avatars.


And these are usually the same people who believe the soul leaves the body to move on. Yet, they go to the grave site to speak to them.

People have some goofy thoughts about how to handle death.
 
2013-08-28 05:58:44 PM
"It's pronounced 'Fraaaahnk-en-steen'."
 
2013-08-28 05:59:14 PM

Brick-House: In his defense, how much would it have sucked if it had worked but he had left the body in the grave.


Most epic prank ever.
 
2013-08-28 06:02:36 PM

Fart_Machine: [550x375 from http://modern-vinyl.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Re-Animator.jpg image 550x375]

Amateurs.


upload.wikimedia.org

Also knows something about coming back to life.
 
2013-08-28 06:04:50 PM
So, Detroit is Gotham, and Vincent had access to a Lazarus Pit?
 
2013-08-28 06:10:37 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-08-28 06:14:27 PM
Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around 'til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream
 
2013-08-28 06:14:29 PM

Mugato: fusillade762: Bright told family members that he took the body to resurrect his 93-year-old father through prayer

So of course he's clearly not insane because Jesus.

Yeah but every Republican proclaims that God told them to run for President and people are like, "Wow. Have a bumper sticker?"


Wow, really? Politics?
Sad
 
2013-08-28 06:24:22 PM
Ten years? WTF?

He would have gotten less time if he raped and killed him.
 
2013-08-28 06:31:48 PM
Pretty stupid and crazy, but I say let him go. The guy's mental and just misses his pops.
 
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