If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Charleston Daily Mail)   "Physical evidence that we have indicates to us that he has more than likely shot his own testicle off" That's just nuts   (dailymail.com) divider line 37
    More: Fail, general hospital, Charleston Police Department, Chevy Tahoe  
•       •       •

3694 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Aug 2013 at 12:10 PM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-28 11:39:16 AM
"They get guns, they load them up with bullets, they're untrained and the next thing you know they've got a gunshot wound to the crotch."

Best. Quote. Ever.

Also, Darwin says, "Damn. Missed it by a nut."

Also also, I'll say this for the guy - he's got ball.

/the veal
//try it
 
2013-08-28 11:46:49 AM
Sometimes you feel like a nut

/sometimes you don't
 
2013-08-28 11:52:30 AM
Well, at least he didn't go off half-cocked.
 
2013-08-28 11:59:44 AM
Johnny shot himself in the cock
Shoved a gun down his pants
and the trigger got caught
It's tough, so tough....

/You got to hold on, to what you got...
 
2013-08-28 12:04:31 PM
This is why we invest in a nice IWB holster, numbnuts.
 
2013-08-28 12:05:18 PM

Elegy: This is why we invest in a nice IWB holster, numbnuts.


He wishes.
 
2013-08-28 12:12:48 PM
That is one nut!
 
2013-08-28 12:13:09 PM
Glock cocked.
 
2013-08-28 12:14:48 PM

Molavian: Glock cocked.


Cock glocked?
 
2013-08-28 12:15:58 PM
Guy's got some balls.......well at least he used to.
 
2013-08-28 12:17:16 PM
This is why you can't have nice things.
 
2013-08-28 12:18:43 PM
Leave the heroin in the farking car, dumbass
 
2013-08-28 12:19:45 PM

scotchcrotch: Guy's got some ball

 
2013-08-28 12:20:07 PM
Ah, the Half-Darwin...an underappreciated maneuver, really.
 
2013-08-28 12:20:21 PM
That took ball.
 
2013-08-28 12:20:48 PM
Next year we'll hear that he won the Tour De France.
 
2013-08-28 12:21:36 PM
That was just nuts.
 
2013-08-28 12:26:41 PM
Is the FAIL tag for the preposition at the end of the sentence?
"...shot off his own testicle"
 
2013-08-28 12:32:25 PM
t1.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-28 12:33:57 PM

Begoggle: Is the FAIL tag for the preposition at the end of the sentence?
"...shot off his own testicle"


Indeed. That is just the type of grammatical nonsense up with which I shall not put.
 
2013-08-28 12:36:26 PM
He's half the man he used to be.
 
2013-08-28 12:39:16 PM
Whatever happened to volition and individual responsibilty?  The opiate-derivatives retailer isn't killing his clients provided his product is properly labeled.  They are killing themselves through over-use.
 
2013-08-28 12:43:25 PM

Psychopusher: That took ball.


"It's in the bag, Lance!"
 
2013-08-28 12:46:44 PM
 ♫   Well, here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand - He's a one ball man and he's off to the rodeo ♫
 
2013-08-28 12:49:27 PM
Mixon? Good chance he's related to the oakland child rapist, cop killer that sparked some absurd anti-cop protests. Quality family there.
 
2013-08-28 12:55:42 PM
"Casdorph was wanted on a state capias and possession of an imitation substance. His bond is set at $312. Flood was arrested on simple possession of a controlled substance. His bond is set at $562. Both remained at South Central Regional Jail. "

With such inhumane bond, how can they ever hope to see daylight again?
 
2013-08-28 01:00:41 PM
He's lost his marbles.
 
2013-08-28 01:01:34 PM
He sounds very responsible.
 
2013-08-28 01:02:12 PM

Dragonflew: He's lost his marbles.

 
2013-08-28 01:04:28 PM
I used to sell drugs, then I took a bullet to the nuts.
 
2013-08-28 01:05:31 PM
www.wolfgnards.com

"You'll shoot your dick off!!"
 
2013-08-28 01:07:48 PM
"They get guns, they load them up with bullets, they're untrained and the next thing you know they've got a gunshot wound to the crotch."

I kind of want to see a graph of how many people walk around with loaded guns VS how many shoot off their own balls... VS a 14' cat.
 
2013-08-28 01:55:57 PM

abhorrent1: Leave the heroin in the farking car, dumbass


He may not have been thinking super clearly after shooting his ball off.
 
2013-08-28 03:23:33 PM

boyvoyeur: "They get guns, they load them up with bullets, they're untrained and the next thing you know they've got a gunshot wound to the crotch."

I kind of want to see a graph of how many people walk around with loaded guns VS how many shoot off their own balls... VS a 14' cat.


That cat was NOT depicted as 14 feet tall!

/Sorry...I really gotta let that one go.
 
2013-08-28 03:25:15 PM

YakiManiac: ♫   Well, here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand - He's a one ball man and he's off to the rodeo ♫



I thought I was the only person that had that 45.  Cheers mate !
 
2013-08-28 03:46:18 PM

I'm reminded of the news story Lewis Black reads in one of his standup specials:

This article comes from the Arkansas Democrat Gazette ("I was surprised to find out Arkansas had a newspaper. Since they didn't think oral sex was adultery, I thought they might be getting their news from sittin' around the cracker-barrel.")

Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.

Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip. Frog-gigging (or frog sticking) is how armed with a ptich-fork, you catch frogs from the Byu bank. Frog Legs make a tasty supper.

On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the 22-caliber bullet from his pistol ("which I guess he was carrying cuz if you can't stick the frog, you can blow his head off!") fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column.

After inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded toward the White River Bridge.

After traveling about 20 miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right testicle.

The vehicle swerved sharply right ("as would be expected") exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.

"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off or we might both be dead" stated Wallis.

"I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the world," said Deputy Snyder, "but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened."

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck.
 
2013-08-29 02:08:58 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiJuYqRKmkQ">http://www.youtube.com/wa tch?v=uiJuYqRKmkQ

Brilliant!
 
Displayed 37 of 37 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report