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(People Magazine)   Did Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones separate? He won't kiss and tell, and her lips are sealed   (people.com) divider line 62
    More: Followup, Catherine Zeta Jones, breaking newses  
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2177 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 Aug 2013 at 11:50 AM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



62 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-28 11:34:18 AM
How will their assets be split when they get divorced?

Depends.
 
2013-08-28 11:38:18 AM
So you're saying she's available? Because I'm willing to risk the cancer.
 
2013-08-28 11:57:53 AM
There's not enough Viagra in the world to allow Michael to keep a girl like that satisfied.  She needs a young stud.  Like me, for example.
 
2013-08-28 12:01:43 PM
I've got something to seal her lips, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.
 
2013-08-28 12:02:22 PM

PizzaJedi81: I've got something to seal her lips, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.


caulk?
 
2013-08-28 12:03:11 PM
bi polar... have at it boys ,,,,, <... backs away slowly ,,,,>
 
2013-08-28 12:04:01 PM

busy chillin': PizzaJedi81: I've got something to seal her lips, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

caulk?


It IS white and sticky, yes.
 
2013-08-28 12:04:57 PM
Some of the best sex I have had was with a bipolar beauty in another country.  And for the first six months they are great, but really you need to cut and run after the first all day crying session, or in my case they hit you in the face with a cordless phone when you turn the stereo volume down.
 
2013-08-28 12:05:58 PM
Big surprise given the age difference.

Who couldn't have predicted those Hollywood types, who are constantly chasing the dragon of excitement and the highs of new dating experiences, would settle down and accept Methuselah and Crazytrain Zeta-Jones growing old together?
 
2013-08-28 12:06:16 PM
farm4.staticflickr.com

This is my shocked face.

Michael Douglas is a dumbass.  You want to speculate on how you got throat cancer, be my guest.  But you don't go in front of a reporter who is ravenous for any kind of juicy tidbit to run into the ground and tell them that you got it from eating your wife out.  Ever.  At all.  And doubly so if your wife is hot like Catherine Zeta Jones.

I still think it was all a backfiring ploy to make sure people knew that there was no way he was gay at all, since he was doing publicity for the Liberace movie at the time.  But frankly, if that was going to be a concern, I'd have just ran with it.  Let the rumors get started.  "Clutch2013 sleeps with men!!!!111!!!"  I'd look them dead in the face and say, "You know what?  You're absolutely right.  I have a boyfriend, but he's really camera-shy.  That said, you know that conversation everyone has about people they'd go gay or straight for? *points to Catherine*  She's my answer to that, and if she doesn't mind, I'll happily tell you why..."
 
2013-08-28 12:09:35 PM
Holy f*ck what a mess of a website. Ad bards upon ad bars, moving things, some overlay pops up asking about a survey on their site (why does every site do that now?). Does no one at that size of a company have any idea what good design is?
 
2013-08-28 12:17:14 PM
dibs!
 
2013-08-28 12:18:29 PM

theflatline: Some of the best sex I have had was with a bipolar beauty in another country.


Am I correct in assuming none of us would know her?

/I keed
//The Go-Go's!
 
2013-08-28 12:20:08 PM
She's crazy you know.
 
2013-08-28 12:20:47 PM
Also,

PizzaJedi81: I've got something to seal her lips, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.


That's okay, I've got something to unseal 'em.
 
2013-08-28 12:31:55 PM
I guess he just now saw the Rock of Ages movie, because I would divorce her after watching that colossal bag of shiat too.
 
2013-08-28 12:32:07 PM
Catherine who? I'm sorry, I don't have any farks to give due to the fact that Monica Bellucci is now single as well.
 
2013-08-28 12:40:08 PM
DIBS!
 
2013-08-28 12:41:27 PM

xdedd: Catherine who? I'm sorry, I don't have any farks to

give spare due to the fact that Monica Bellucci is now single as well.

Fixed like a Nine Inch Nails e.p.
 
2013-08-28 12:58:08 PM

xdedd: Catherine who? I'm sorry, I don't have any farks to give due to the fact that Monica Bellucci is now single as well.


whynotboth?.jpg
 
2013-08-28 12:59:28 PM
When they got married the story went around that they have a rather unique pre-nup: if he cheated on her, she got the bulk of his fortune, but if she cheated on him, she got nothing.

I don't know what happens if the separation is mutual.
 
2013-08-28 01:08:59 PM
I would have sex with her multiple times, in various positions. Even if she weren't there.
 
2013-08-28 01:13:27 PM
media3.onsugar.com

Matt Damon!
 
2013-08-28 01:19:08 PM
Maybe she's on vacation.  Vacation's all she ever wanted.
 
2013-08-28 01:26:12 PM

Mad_Radhu: [550x550 from http://media3.onsugar.com/files/2013/05/24/998/n/1922398/f08cc1906d312 a3f_thumb_temp35398911369435574/i/Matt-Damon-Behind-Candelabra-Video.j pg image 550x550]

Matt Damon!


If you saw him dry-humping in that movie, you'd understand the appeal.
 
2013-08-28 01:29:57 PM
thatonescenewithherassunderlaser.jpg
 
2013-08-28 01:34:40 PM
did he get a 'Massey' prenup?
 
2013-08-28 01:35:24 PM

Sybarite: So you're saying she's available? Because I'm willing to risk the cancer.


Are you McCoy, son of David?
 
2013-08-28 01:38:03 PM
I'd Zeta her Jones. Si saben lo que les digo, y creo que lo saben.
 
2013-08-28 01:38:45 PM

theflatline: Some of the best sex I have had was with a bipolar beauty in another country.  And for the first six months they are great, but really you need to cut and run after the first all day crying session, or in my case they hit you in the face with a cordless phone when you turn the stereo volume down.


THIS.

I should have packed my bags when roughly 6 months into our relationship, the ex put a claw hammer through the TV set to "get my attention."

/13 years of hell
//happily divorced
 
2013-08-28 01:41:14 PM

Marcus Aurelius: There's not enough Viagra in the world to allow Michael to keep a girl like that satisfied.  She needs a young stud.  Like me, for example.


I hate to pick on someone who is obviously suffering from a mental condition but don't forget George Bluth's first two laws (no not the one about the banana stand, that's #3).
 
2013-08-28 01:51:38 PM
img844.imageshack.us


/Just...daaaamn.
 
2013-08-28 01:52:19 PM
themoviepreviewcritic.com
Crazy or not, it's worth it...
 
2013-08-28 01:53:15 PM

zulius: [300x171 from http://themoviepreviewcritic.com/assets/images/zeta_jones_entrapment_4 .jpg image 300x171]
Crazy or not, it's worth it...


41 seconds away from the ultimate simulpost.
 
2013-08-28 02:05:35 PM

Snapper Carr: zulius: [300x171 from http://themoviepreviewcritic.com/assets/images/zeta_jones_entrapment_4 .jpg image 300x171]
Crazy or not, it's worth it...

41 seconds away from the ultimate simulpost.


kudos to you both
 
2013-08-28 02:13:12 PM

Snapper Carr: /Just...daaaamn.


Sweet bouncing jeebus, yes.
That image is (laser) etched on my psyche.


/subby
 
2013-08-28 02:35:27 PM

Dwight_Yeast: When they got married the story went around that they have a rather unique pre-nup: if he cheated on her, she got the bulk of his fortune, but if she cheated on him, she got nothing.

I don't know what happens if the separation is mutual.


I remember years ago she said she thought divorce was (in her words) "disgusting".

Apparently her husband is too.
 
2013-08-28 02:38:00 PM
I'll twerk her twat
 
2013-08-28 02:44:29 PM

sure haven't: Holy f*ck what a mess of a website. Ad bards upon ad bars, moving things, some overlay pops up asking about a survey on their site (why does every site do that now?). Does no one at that size of a company have any idea what good design is?


Ad bards? They plug stuff in rhyme?
 
2013-08-28 02:46:20 PM
 
2013-08-28 02:47:16 PM
From this year:

www.bohomoth.com

God those legs...
 
2013-08-28 02:54:39 PM

Sinbox: ten foiled hats: /The Go-Go's!

Fun Boy 3 !!!


Big, big ups, man.  I hadn't heard that.  Much appreciated!
 
2013-08-28 03:37:53 PM

Flint Ironstag: sure haven't: Holy f*ck what a mess of a website. Ad bards upon ad bars, moving things, some overlay pops up asking about a survey on their site (why does every site do that now?). Does no one at that size of a company have any idea what good design is?

Ad bards? They plug stuff in rhyme?


And for only a farthing. Best deal this side of Winterhelm.
 
2013-08-28 03:38:54 PM

Mad_Radhu: [550x550 from http://media3.onsugar.com/files/2013/05/24/998/n/1922398/f08cc1906d312 a3f_thumb_temp35398911369435574/i/Matt-Damon-Behind-Candelabra-Video.j pg image 550x550]

Matt Damon!



That pic pegs both the creepy-o-meter and eewww-o-meter at the same time.
 
2013-08-28 03:39:25 PM
They. Are on. A BREAK!
 
2013-08-28 03:48:36 PM

Debby7813: They. Are on. A BREAK!


Catherine, if you get lonely call me.
 
2013-08-28 03:53:22 PM

Zombie DJ: xdedd: Catherine who? I'm sorry, I don't have any farks to give due to the fact that Monica Bellucci is now single as well.

whynotboth?.jpg


Both of them at the same time is so much hotness (even now) that it would be a serious risk to destroying this entire space/time continuum.

I'd be willing to risk it.
 
2013-08-28 05:31:44 PM
If Biploar II women are anything like Bipolar II men, run far, far away.

/in the middle of a nasty split from my just-diagnosed-2 years ago husband
//generalizations FTW
 
2013-08-28 05:33:40 PM

Rapmaster2000: Maybe she's on vacation.  Vacation's all she ever wanted.


She wouldn't talk in her sleep because we wouldn't be sleeping, if you know what I mean.
 
2013-08-28 05:42:18 PM

ten foiled hats: Sinbox: ten foiled hats: /The Go-Go's!

Fun Boy 3 !!!

Big, big ups, man.  I hadn't heard that.  Much appreciated!


Respect!
 
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