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(Peninsula Clarion)   "Yeah that's a mighty big pumpkin there, but that hole will make it ineligible for the record"   (peninsulaclarion.com) divider line 42
    More: Stupid, Connecticut, growth spurt  
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11014 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Aug 2013 at 7:54 AM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-28 07:46:06 AM
"It's just killing him," said Pam Elkins, Megchelsen's sister-in-law, as she watched the competitor deal with the failed attempt. "He eats, sleeps and dreams pumpkins. All he does is pumpkins."

He even makes sweet, sweet love to pumpkins.
 
2013-08-28 07:55:59 AM

Sybarite: "It's just killing him," said Pam Elkins, Megchelsen's sister-in-law, as she watched the competitor deal with the failed attempt. "He eats, sleeps and dreams pumpkins. All he does is pumpkins."

He even makes sweet, sweet love to pumpkins.


That's how the hole got there.
 
2013-08-28 07:56:31 AM

Sybarite: "It's just killing him," said Pam Elkins, Megchelsen's sister-in-law, as she watched the competitor deal with the failed attempt. "He eats, sleeps and dreams pumpkins. All he does is pumpkins."

He even makes sweet, sweet love to pumpkins.


a.abc.com
 
2013-08-28 08:01:47 AM
Why Stupid?  You don't think people will shove some weights into a hole to win a competition, just like fishermen dropping some sinkers into a fish's mouth to push it over the limit?
 
2013-08-28 08:01:58 AM
"...but you f*ck one pumpkin..."
 
2013-08-28 08:06:41 AM
phrawgh:
[624x351 from http://a.abc.com/media/shows/its-the-great-pumpkin-charlie-brown/video placeholder/its-the-great-pumpkin-charlie-brown.jpg image 624x351]

"...he's not likely to leave it there on display. ..."

Sorry, kid. Not sincere enough.
 
2013-08-28 08:07:46 AM
1500*
 
2013-08-28 08:08:28 AM
Has anyone made a joke about pumpkin-f*cking yet?
 
2013-08-28 08:14:57 AM

dittybopper: Sybarite: "It's just killing him," said Pam Elkins, Megchelsen's sister-in-law, as she watched the competitor deal with the failed attempt. "He eats, sleeps and dreams pumpkins. All he does is pumpkins."

He even makes sweet, sweet love to pumpkins.

That's how the hole got there.


Thumb sized hole makes his peener pumpkin friendly
 
2013-08-28 08:17:38 AM
floatery.com
it matters
 
2013-08-28 08:18:48 AM

While lifting what he thought was sure to be a new state record, J.D. Megchelsen on Monday noticed that his 2013 season's work had a thumb-sized hole in its underside. His face barely showed disappointment.
...
"It's just killing him," said Pam Elkins, Megchelsen's sister-in-law, as she watched the competitor deal with the failed attempt.


o_O
 
2013-08-28 08:20:51 AM

markfara: Has anyone made a joke about pumpkin-f*cking yet?


I took a quick look at the url and thought that they had dedicated an entire website to that sort of thing.
 
2013-08-28 08:22:31 AM
Not the 5th largest pumpkin in the state grown. Where's the NewsFlash tag?
 
2013-08-28 08:27:54 AM
Didn't Howard Dill f*ck his pumpkins?
 
2013-08-28 08:32:05 AM

PhDemented: Why Stupid?  You don't think people will shove some weights into a hole to win a competition, just like fishermen dropping some sinkers into a fish's mouth to push it over the limit?


Yep, that's why the rule was originally made.  I don't believe that's an issue now.  All the growers I know are great folks.

The problem is, once you get a hole in it, they start to rot.  Depending on temperature, they may only last about 2 weeks once the hole opens.  So, they won't make a good display for very long.
 
2013-08-28 08:38:36 AM

Andy Andy: PhDemented: Why Stupid?  You don't think people will shove some weights into a hole to win a competition, just like fishermen dropping some sinkers into a fish's mouth to push it over the limit?

Yep, that's why the rule was originally made.  I don't believe that's an issue now.  All the growers I know are great folks.

The problem is, once you get a hole in it, they start to rot.  Depending on temperature, they may only last about 2 weeks once the hole opens.  So, they won't make a good display for very long.


That as well... even if most are great guys, it just takes one to cheat

Would rot setting in cause the pumpkin to take on moisture, increasing it's weight?
 
2013-08-28 08:39:14 AM

PhDemented: increasing it'sits weight?


FTFM
 
2013-08-28 08:40:48 AM
Why do hillbillies love Halloween?
They get to pump Ken.
 
2013-08-28 08:43:39 AM

PhDemented: Would rot setting in cause the pumpkin to take on moisture, increasing it's weight?


Nope, usually the opposite.  When the bacteria and fungi start their work, they'll eventually liquefy the pumpkin, which may exit the hole.  These big ones are a much higher water content (more like a squash) than the regular halloween pumpkins.

Also, if left to ferment away long enough, a big rotten pumpkin is one of the worst things you will ever smell.
 
2013-08-28 08:47:21 AM

Andy Andy: PhDemented: Would rot setting in cause the pumpkin to take on moisture, increasing it's weight?

Nope, usually the opposite.  When the bacteria and fungi start their work, they'll eventually liquefy the pumpkin, which may exit the hole.  These big ones are a much higher water content (more like a squash) than the regular halloween pumpkins.

Also, if left to ferment away long enough, a big rotten pumpkin is one of the worst things you will ever smell.


I'm thinking of my boots after one halloween and you are so right.
 
2013-08-28 08:48:40 AM
FTFA: According to weigh-off rules, entries must be free of rot, holes and cracks that reach through to the cavity, chemical residues and serious soft spots.

What would happen if someday the judges learned that everything is made of chemicals?
 
2013-08-28 08:50:38 AM

Sybarite: "It's just killing him," said Pam Elkins, Megchelsen's sister-in-law, as she watched the competitor deal with the failed attempt. "He eats, sleeps and dreams pumpkins. All he does is pumpkins."

He even makes sweet, sweet love to pumpkins.


Subby's mom is nicknamed "Pumpkins?"
 
2013-08-28 08:54:46 AM

Andy Andy: When the bacteria and fungi start their work, they'll eventually liquefy the pumpkin, which may exit the hole.  These big ones are a much higher water content (more like a squash) than the regular halloween pumpkins.


So, the higher water content makes a squash even more like a squash?

Interesting.
 
2013-08-28 08:56:04 AM

Old Man Winter: Why do hillbillies love Halloween?
They get to pump Ken.


you mean pump kin?
 
2013-08-28 08:56:32 AM
Random censorship:

Little Jack Horner
sat in a corner
eating his **** pie.
He stuck in his *****
and pulled out a ****
and said, "What a **** *** am I!"
 
2013-08-28 09:33:44 AM
A pumkin, or any growing vegetable for that matter, that requires up to 300 gallons of water a day?   Jesus....
 
2013-08-28 09:39:58 AM
can't you use pumpkin spackle?  pack it in and trowell it out well, give it a good coat of orange paint and ta-da... hole gone
 
2013-08-28 09:49:31 AM
They should make a rule that it remain orange too.  Yeah, I'm a pumpkin racist, what of it?
 
2013-08-28 09:56:02 AM

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: "...but you f*ck one pumpkin..."


They used to call him "Murray the philanthropist".
 
2013-08-28 10:15:53 AM
Big ol' bumpkin grows big ol' pumpkin?  Just askin'...?
 
2013-08-28 10:16:35 AM
That's it.....let it all out
ts2.mm.bing.net
 
2013-08-28 10:22:17 AM
Note to self: Next contest, remember to bring a long, sharp screwdriver...
 
2013-08-28 10:32:20 AM

WorkingInParadise: Random censorship:

Little Jack Horner
sat in a corner
eating his **** pie.
He stuck in his *****
and pulled out a ****
and said, "What a **** *** am I!"


That doesn't seem very random to me.


Pumpkins are hard as hell to grow and I don't quite understand the dedication to feed a pumpkin 300 gallons of water a day just to grow one that ways 1500 lbs.  Not much you can really do with a pumpkin that size.
 
2013-08-28 10:33:13 AM

TheGreenMonkey: WorkingInParadise: Random censorship:

Little Jack Horner
sat in a corner
eating his **** pie.
He stuck in his *****
and pulled out a ****
and said, "What a **** *** am I!"

That doesn't seem very random to me.


Pumpkins are hard as hell to grow and I don't quite understand the dedication to feed a pumpkin 300 gallons of water a day just to grow one that ways weighs 1500 lbs.  Not much you can really do with a pumpkin that size.

FTFM

 
2013-08-28 10:36:46 AM
www.centerforinquiry.net

There are rules!
 
2013-08-28 10:41:46 AM

TheGreenMonkey: WorkingInParadise: Random censorship:

Little Jack Horner
sat in a corner
eating his **** pie.
He stuck in his *****
and pulled out a ****
and said, "What a **** *** am I!"

That doesn't seem very random to me.


Pumpkins are hard as hell to grow and I don't quite understand the dedication to feed a pumpkin 300 gallons of water a day just to grow one that ways 1500 lbs.  Not much you can really do with a pumpkin that size.


You can be the mayor of Pumpkintown, and that's enough for some people. I doubt it's really that difficult to water it. I'd imagine you just leave a hose running, although it's more fun to picture him going out there with trays full of Dixie cups.
 
2013-08-28 10:56:22 AM
www.methodshop.com
 
2013-08-28 11:06:06 AM
Here comes the science?
 
2013-08-28 11:07:07 AM
www.autotoolworld.com
 
2013-08-28 11:09:06 AM

Yes please: TheGreenMonkey: WorkingInParadise: Random censorship:

Little Jack Horner
sat in a corner
eating his **** pie.
He stuck in his *****
and pulled out a ****
and said, "What a **** *** am I!"

That doesn't seem very random to me.


Pumpkins are hard as hell to grow and I don't quite understand the dedication to feed a pumpkin 300 gallons of water a day just to grow one that ways 1500 lbs.  Not much you can really do with a pumpkin that size.

You can be the mayor of Pumpkintown, and that's enough for some people. I doubt it's really that difficult to water it. I'd imagine you just leave a hose running, although it's more fun to picture him going out there with trays full of Dixie cups.



People get "into it" like people get into golf is the best comparison I can give.  Nobody is going to go out and win the US Open right away, but there's an addiction some people have about getting better results at their hobby.

Also, 300 gal/day isn't normal.  My guess is he's overboard because of the greenhouse setup, or that's the total for his entire garden.  Most run somewhere around 100 gal/ day at peak depending on conditions and yes I know how excessive that still sounds.
 
2013-08-28 11:49:56 AM
Damn, is it midnight already?
 
2013-08-29 10:15:18 AM
Oh well, better luck next itme, pilgrim.
 
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