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(News Daily)   France is "ready to punish" Syria, presumably by halting exports of brie and Château Margaux   (newsdaily.com) divider line 82
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1793 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Aug 2013 at 3:44 PM (52 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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vpb [TotalFark]
2013-08-27 02:30:32 PM
They are supposedly sending a carrier battle group, so they might be serious.  It would be nice if they took care of it.
 
2013-08-27 02:32:52 PM
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-08-27 02:43:43 PM
Well, if anyone has a reason to be touchy about gas attacks, I imagine France qualifies.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-08-27 02:45:31 PM

Relatively Obscure: Well, if anyone has a reason to be touchy about gas attacks, I imagine France qualifies.


Do they have Taco Bell there too?
 
2013-08-27 02:50:02 PM

vpb: Relatively Obscure: Well, if anyone has a reason to be touchy about gas attacks, I imagine France qualifies.

Do they have Taco Bell there too?


cdn.riveraveblues.com

You know what they call a Doritos Locos Taco in France?
 
2013-08-27 02:57:05 PM
France has the next best Aircraft Carrier after ours, so they might as well use it once in a while.
 
2013-08-27 03:18:45 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: [450x300 from http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120724171731/villains/images/1 /14/French-Monty-Python-Holy-Grail-French-taunt.jpg image 450x300]


Well, to honest, they basically taunted Syria a second time.
 
2013-08-27 03:34:40 PM
See? The smell in Syria isn't from chemical weapons. France was simply farting in their general direction. Wind and sea currents. Study it out.
 
2013-08-27 03:47:26 PM

TuteTibiImperes: France has the next best Aircraft Carrier after ours, so they might as well use it once in a while.


I've heard they can deploy up to 40 simultaneous sternly worded letters.
 
2013-08-27 03:47:43 PM
Syria Surrenders?
 
2013-08-27 03:47:46 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: [450x300 from http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120724171731/villains/images/1 /14/French-Monty-Python-Holy-Grail-French-taunt.jpg image 450x300]


Syria has a distinct lack of both African and European swallows.
 
2013-08-27 03:48:23 PM
I'm gas attacking my co-workers. Qdoba has powers beyond taco bell.
 
2013-08-27 03:48:49 PM
sitelife.aviationweek.com
 
2013-08-27 03:51:50 PM
I am sure that France thinks that it is lost past overdue that the United States does something about this.

Everyone rips on us.  Until they need us...
 
2013-08-27 03:52:28 PM

TuteTibiImperes: France has the next best Aircraft Carrier after ours, so they might as well use it once in a while.


It's the perfect base from which to

pitch-ay la vache
 
2013-08-27 03:52:40 PM
Someone needs to post it:

-Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]

-Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

-Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

-Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

-Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

-War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

-The Dutch War
- Tied

-War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

-War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

-American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

-French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

-The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

-The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

-World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

-World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

-War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

-Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
 
2013-08-27 03:53:54 PM

vpb: They are supposedly sending a carrier battle group, so they might be serious.  It would be nice if they took care of it.


Is the French Admiral on the (white) Flag Ship?
 
2013-08-27 03:56:15 PM
If there's one thing the French love, it's killing people in former colonies.
 
2013-08-27 03:56:25 PM

Treygreen13: TuteTibiImperes: France has the next best Aircraft Carrier after ours, so they might as well use it once in a while.

I've heard they can deploy up to 40 simultaneous sternly worded letters.



All typed to music by Jerry Lewis on Marcel Marceaux letterhead.

Seriously, though, the Charles De Gaulle is a pretty badass ship.
 
2013-08-27 03:56:58 PM

abfalter: Someone needs to post it:


*sigh*
 
2013-08-27 03:59:27 PM
www.intriguing.com

Oh, wicked, wicked Syria.  Oh, she is a naughty country, and she must pay the penalty.  And here in France, we have but one punishment for gassing people with neurotoxins.  You must tie her down on a bed and spank her.

And spank me.

Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!

And after the spanking, the oral sex.
 
2013-08-27 04:00:15 PM
France will punish Syria with a terse letter of extreme displeasure and ban all Syrian yacht owners from docking in Cannes.
 
2013-08-27 04:05:26 PM

The Bruce Dickinson: [440x289 from http://sitelife.aviationweek.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/8/9/88605 ee6-a3c4-4547-8944-6a90a4cce3f1.Large.jpg image 440x289]


For some reason the name of the sub is making me laugh my ass off.
 
2013-08-27 04:13:32 PM
www.theblindcard.com

Now with U.S. Marines Desert Camo accuracy.

 
2013-08-27 04:15:53 PM
They're going to start air dropping Parisians??

There has to be a law or something against that.
 
2013-08-27 04:17:34 PM

vpb: They are supposedly sending a carrier battle group, so they might be serious.  It would be nice if they took care of it.


Take care of what? There are no reasonable goals.
 
2013-08-27 04:23:37 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: They're going to start air dropping Parisians??

There has to be a law or something against that.


Well... I guess you just gotta fight chemical weapons with chemical weapons
 
2013-08-27 04:23:54 PM
While there are no good guys in this morass, it would be nice if someone besides us got their  foot stuck in the asshole of the planet for the next ten years.
 
2013-08-27 04:29:15 PM
Would be nice if the French actually covered their own asses when they shoot off their mouths.

6th Strongest Military in the World (allegedly)
Still can't handle even a small war by themselves.
 
2013-08-27 04:30:33 PM
Let the French give the rebels some chemical weapons to use against Assad, and we stay the hell out.  Everybody wins.
 
2013-08-27 04:33:39 PM

YixilTesiphon: vpb: They are supposedly sending a carrier battle group, so they might be serious.  It would be nice if they took care of it.

Take care of what? There are no reasonable goals.


They can blow up an empty office building or two.
 
2013-08-27 04:34:58 PM
"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
 
2013-08-27 04:35:46 PM
article from asiantimes
http://atimes.com/atimes/Middle_East/MID-01-270813.html

The importance of this report cannot be overstated enough. It was initially leaked to Lebanon's Al-Safir newspaper. http://www.al-monitor.com/pulse/politics/2013/08/saudi-russia-putin-ba ndar-meeting-syria-egypt.html">Here's Bandar's whole strategy, unveiled in his meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin, already reported by Asia Times Online. After trying - for four hours - to convince Putin to drop Syria, Bandar is adamant: ''There is no escape from the military option.''

its will be war, so set back and enjoy the enevitable
 
2013-08-27 04:39:01 PM

jjorsett: YixilTesiphon: vpb: They are supposedly sending a carrier battle group, so they might be serious.  It would be nice if they took care of it.

Take care of what? There are no reasonable goals.

They can blow up an empty office building or two.


You could make the use of chemical weapons on civilians be a losing strategy in a civil war through a variety of strikes on Assad's military power. This may or may not influence the decisions of future combatants.
 
2013-08-27 04:39:07 PM
That would be really cool if France takes care of this in a few weeks TOTAL.
 
2013-08-27 04:44:57 PM
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-27 04:46:19 PM
CSB:

Was on a US destroyer operating with Charles de Gaulle about 7 years ago in the Arabian Gulf. Sunday mornings they sent  there helo over to us with several large bags of fresh baguettes, a wheel of brie, and a wheel of roquefort.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:US_Navy_060506-N-9546C-001_A_ Fr ench_Navy_Panther_helicopter_lands_aboard_guided-missile_destroyer_USS _Decatur_(DDG_73)._Decatur_joined_a_coalition_task_force.jpg
 
2013-08-27 04:49:06 PM

johnny_vegas: CSB:

Was on a US destroyer operating with Charles de Gaulle about 7 years ago in the Arabian Gulf. Sunday mornings they sent  there helo over to us with several large bags of fresh baguettes, a wheel of brie, and a wheel of roquefort.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:US_Navy_060506-N-9546C-001_A_ Fr ench_Navy_Panther_helicopter_lands_aboard_guided-missile_destroyer_USS _Decatur_(DDG_73)._Decatur_joined_a_coalition_task_force.jpg



I hope you sent back Wonder Bread and Cheeze Whiz
 
2013-08-27 04:54:15 PM
actually as a joke (though a sincere gesture) we presented the french admiral with a bottle of california sparkling wine
 
2013-08-27 04:56:17 PM

weltallica: [504x315 from http://i.imgur.com/6ibdLIP.gif image 504x315]

[504x303 from http://i.imgur.com/TePRO0c.gif image 504x303]

[504x321 from http://i.imgur.com/LsywIkJ.gif image 504x321]

[504x351 from http://i.imgur.com/TmMfhvf.gif image 504x351]


None of these are at all historically accurate in any way, but carry on.
 
2013-08-27 05:06:26 PM

CmndrFish: weltallica: [504x315 from http://i.imgur.com/6ibdLIP.gif image 504x315]

[504x303 from http://i.imgur.com/TePRO0c.gif image 504x303]

[504x321 from http://i.imgur.com/LsywIkJ.gif image 504x321]

[504x351 from http://i.imgur.com/TmMfhvf.gif image 504x351]

None of these are at all historically accurate in any way, but carry on.


Are you saying these cartoons weren't published?
because they seem pretty plausible to me.

It seems silly to compare incidents with actual victims to the intelligence failure that was the Bush administration so I'm not sure what point they are being used to make here.
 
2013-08-27 05:10:03 PM
Do Americans ACTUALLY think France, among the most belligerent and warlike nations in the history of the world, and one with one of the worlds most advanced (and most enthusiastic to blow shiat up) militaries around, are simpering cowards who send letters instead of bombs? The French are basically lunatics held in check by the pressure of the rest of europe.

I am sure the actual US military vets know this very well.. but shiat the rest of you bought a load of flannel.
 
2013-08-27 05:11:41 PM

weltallica: [504x315 from http://i.imgur.com/6ibdLIP.gif image 504x315]

[504x303 from http://i.imgur.com/TePRO0c.gif image 504x303]

[504x321 from http://i.imgur.com/LsywIkJ.gif image 504x321]

[504x351 from http://i.imgur.com/TmMfhvf.gif image 504x351]


Yeah, those French surle looked goofy after the massive WMD stockpiles in Iraq were uncovered.
 
2013-08-27 05:12:36 PM

gaspode: Do Americans ACTUALLY think France, among the most belligerent and warlike nations in the history of the world, and one with one of the worlds most advanced (and most enthusiastic to blow shiat up) militaries around, are simpering cowards who send letters instead of bombs? The French are basically lunatics held in check by the pressure of the rest of europe.

I am sure the actual US military vets know this very well.. but shiat the rest of you bought a load of flannel.


Judging by their win/loss record.....
 
2013-08-27 05:13:35 PM

gaspode: Do Americans ACTUALLY think France, among the most belligerent and warlike nations in the history of the world, and one with one of the worlds most advanced (and most enthusiastic to blow shiat up) militaries around, are simpering cowards who send letters instead of bombs?


The country who thought up "Freedom Fries"? What do you think?
 
2013-08-27 05:14:11 PM
Not surprising considering France is essentially a sunni islamic State by now.


www.religiousfreedomcoalition.org
 
2013-08-27 05:15:34 PM

abfalter: Someone needs to post it:

-Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]

-Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

-Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

-Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

-Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

-War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

-The Dutch War
- Tied

-War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

-War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

-American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

-French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

-The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

-The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

-World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, Fr ...


There's also the French invasion of Mexico in the 1860s, which France set up a puppet empire but  eventually lost.  The French didn't get a clue when they lost the Battle of Puebla to the Mexicans on May 5, 1862.  The Mexicans have since made a national holiday out of the date of their victory, Cinco de Mayo.
 
2013-08-27 05:16:25 PM

abfalter: Someone needs to post it:

-Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]

-Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

-Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

-Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

-Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

-War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

-The Dutch War
- Tied

-War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

-War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

-American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

-French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

-The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

-The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

-World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

-World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

-War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

-Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.


You forgot Vietnam. France started it and walked away after hooking/tricking the US to enter the theater.

//Syria will be same diff.
 
2013-08-27 05:17:17 PM

vpb: They are supposedly sending a carrier battle group, so they might be serious.  It would be nice if they took care of it.


The carrier battle group, not a carrier battle group. They only have the one.
 
2013-08-27 05:21:20 PM
If anyone can get this done, the French Can-Can.
 
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